Three Broken Promises

Chapter 13

Jen

The shackles of my recent past have slowly been loosened, allowing me to be free with Colin. I can almost forget all of the shameful things I did during such a scary, desperate time. A time I’d rather push from my memories forever, but I still can’t, no matter how hard I try. Stripping for a living gave me a sort of freedom I’ve never experienced before. I felt powerful, at least at first.

Giving myself to men in the backseat of their car for fifty dollars had left me feeling powerless. The contradiction had been . . . confusing.

But nothing filled me with so much power as when I was with Colin. I am on a sexual high and I have no regrets over what I’ve done with him. It’s liberating. Funny how I thought leaving Colin would bring me the escape and freedom I needed. Maybe I was wrong.

Having sex with Colin, finally letting down my guard and showing him all the many things I want to do to him? How I feel about him?

That’s beyond liberating.

Not that I can tell him how I feel about him with words, no way. That would just freak him out, the very last thing I want to do. But I can show him. Oh, how I can show him! Which I’ve done. Repeatedly. I worried it might be awkward between Colin and me after the first time we had sex, but, um . . . no. It is definitely not awkward.

Hot and amazing, most definitely. We’re insatiable for each other. Being with him at the restaurant last night, watching him while he worked, turned me on so much I could hardly function. All I could think about was him. Having his hands on me. Having my hands on him. I was so aroused I had to sneak into his office on my break and give him a blow job.

What a rush that experience was, despite my past momentarily tarnishing the moment. Reminding me of what I’ve done, that I’d taken money for an act that should be sacred and between two people who care for each other.

But I was able to overcome it pretty quickly. It’s different between us. I care about him, more than I ever thought possible.

I loved how out of control I made him, how quickly he came. I could see how bad he wanted me, could feel it in the clutch of his fingers when he thrust them into my hair, tugging on it. The pleasurable pain had coursed through my veins, pushing me toward my second orgasm in less than ten minutes, which is just . . . insane.

Colin Wilder makes me absolutely insane.

It feels so good, knowing that we are equally invested in this. That we’re dying to get naked for each other every time we’re in the same room. Heck, when we’re breathing the same air. I’ve felt so alone with all of these feelings I’ve had for Colin for far too long. And now we’re in it together.

At this very moment, though, I’m alone. Sitting outside in Colin’s backyard next to the small built-in pool, laid out on a lounge chair and enjoying the late summer sunshine. September doesn’t equal fall in Northern California. It’s still hot as hell most days, this one being no exception. A heat wave has settled over the area, the high today predicted to hit near one hundred.

The late morning air is still cool enough but I can feel the heat coming, the sun shining directly on me. I’m wearing my favorite two-piece swimsuit and desperately wishing Colin were home so he could see me like this. The bikini is skimpy, a bright turquoise, with string ties at my hips and two slivers of triangle fabric covering my breasts. I can get away with this sort of swimsuit since I’m small-chested and kinda skinny.

I’d always wanted the blond hair and gigantic boobs that Colin tends to go for, but I’ve become incredibly comfortable with my body these last few days. Comfortable in regard to how Colin sees me. He thinks I’m beautiful. Sexy. He makes me feel confident in my own skin, something I’ve never experienced before. I love the fact that he’s so appreciative of my curves, my breasts, that he doesn’t make me feel cheap.

When we got home last night he stripped me naked without giving me a chance to say a word, not that I was protesting. He laid me out on his bed and proceeded to map every single inch of my skin with his mouth. And when I say he kissed me everywhere, I mean everywhere. Even in embarrassing places no man had ever attempted to kiss me before.

I came three times last night. I can feel myself growing wet just remembering what he did to me, how far he pushed me out of my comfort zone.

How much I liked it.

Sighing and with a little squirm, I try to push thoughts of Colin out of my head and concentrate on the fashion magazine in front of me. I flip through the pages, bored with the clothing, the endless ads full of gorgeous, smiling women who exude confidence. The entire magazine is full of articles along those lines. About creating a confident you and finding the perfect career you’re destined to have. How to have the best sex of your life—already found that, thanks bunches—the best clothes, the best everything. I know reading these articles is supposed to inspire me. But instead with every article I skim, I become more depressed.

And full of doubt.

Is leaving really the right decision? Now that I have Colin’s unwavering attention, should I just up and walk away from him as I originally planned? Of course, the reason I might have his attention is because he knows it’s temporary. It’s easier to commit to something that won’t last, that has a deadline. A finite ending.

Right?

The fact that I have no real plan is scary too. I did find a possible roommate via an online ad site whom I spoke to on the phone earlier. She’s a year younger than me, a junior in college, and works part-time. She just lost her old roommate and is trying to do everything all on her own, and she’s failing miserably. Drowning in the endless bills that come with being a responsible adult, a roommate would totally ease her financial burden. And mine, of course.

She sounded ideal, so I committed to her and sent her the deposit money via PayPal not even an hour ago. Then I ran into the bathroom and immediately threw up. I’m so freaked out over whether I’m doing the right thing I’m making myself sick over it.

This is by far the toughest decision I’ve ever made in my life.

Tossing the magazine on the tiny table next to me, I readjust the lounge chair so it’s pretty much flat and lie down, closing my eyes. I should not be soaking up the sun with skin cancer being prevalent and all, but I slathered myself in sunscreen before I came outside. The heat feels good on my mostly bare skin and deciding to be daring, I untie my bikini top, letting the strings drop so I won’t have tan lines across my chest.

One wrong move and the top goes bye-bye, but who’s going to see? I’m alone out here. The people who live on either side of Colin both work, so there are no stay-at-home moms hovering, no little kids running around in their backyards. I could sit out here naked and skinny-dip in the pool. No one would be the wiser.

Deciding to go for it, I sit up and untie the string that stretches across my back, flinging the top onto the ground. I sigh with satisfaction as I settle back down onto the lounger, adjusting my sunglasses and closing my eyes to the too-bright sun.

Just for a few minutes, I tell myself. I’ll lie here for a little bit and let the sun warm skin I don’t normally expose at all. It feels good, almost . . . sexual. Well, everything these last few days has felt sexual what with the constant state of arousal I’ve been living in.

I’ve been with other men, too many of them probably, though I keep my numbers to myself. Then there are the ones no one knows about, the ones that don’t count. The ones who paid me money for a quick good time, money I’d desperately needed.

Not that Colin will ever, ever know about those men . . .

But no one, and I mean not a single one of them, made me feel like Colin does. One smile from him and I want to melt. He can touch me in the most casual of ways and my knees threaten to buckle. And when he kisses me, I swear I lose a few brain cells every single time.

Arousal trickles through me at the thought of his drugging, delicious kisses. My nipples bead almost painfully and I’m tempted to touch them. To ease the ache that’s slowly but surely building inside me . . .

“Well, well, well. Now this is a pleasant surprise.”

Tingles sweep over my skin at the sound of Colin’s velvety deep voice. Lifting my head, I open my eyes to find him standing on the other side of the pool, near the back door that leads into the house. I can’t believe I didn’t hear the door open or shut.

I wonder if he thinks I’m out here like this just for him.

“I didn’t expect you home,” I say, rolling my eyes behind my dark sunglasses. Such a lame reply but he doesn’t seem to mind, not if the grin on his face is any indication.

“You lie around outside half naked all the time then? I should be staying home in the morning more often.” He starts toward me, the epitome of mouthwateringly delicious, wearing jeans and a simple white T-shirt. The way his shirt stretches across his shoulders and chest make me itch to tear it off him.

Shrugging, I struggle for nonchalance, though inside anticipation curls through me, making me burn . . . everywhere. He’s moving with a predatory grace that makes my mouth dry, his gaze never leaving me. Suddenly nervous, I look around for my bikini top, spotting it on the concrete right next to the lounger, and I bend down, snatching it up, ready to tie it back on. Or at the very least, cover myself. I’m feeling exposed. Silly for lying around half naked like this.

“Oh, no you don’t.” He’s at my side in an instant, pulling the swimsuit top from my fingers and tossing it far out of reach. His smug grin is downright wicked as he settles on the edge of the lounger, his hip nudging my side, the denim of his jeans rough against my bare skin. He takes me in, his greedy gaze raking over me before landing on my chest, and my nipples literally ache for his touch. “Enjoying the sun?” His husky voice twists my insides, making me breathless.

I lick my lips, sitting up so my face is close to his. “Yeah.” Leaning in, I brush my open mouth against his, lingering, tasting. His tongue darts out, teasing mine with gentle flicks, and I moan softly.

“Fuck, you’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?” His large hands graze my breasts, his palms brushing against my nipples so lightly I can almost believe I’m only imagining he’s touching me.

But he’s real. His hands on me are real. Hot and seeking and knowing exactly what I need to fill me with uncontrollable desire for him.

“I swear I had no idea you would come home. You’re usually gone in the mornings,” I say in my defense. He goes into his office when it’s quiet and he can get paperwork done. Phone calls made, emails answered, whatever it is that he needs to take care of. He’s been extra busy lately what with the new location opening soon. “I thought I had a morning to myself.”

“Tell me.” He kisses me, a quick, sweet kiss though his mouth lingers, barely moving away from mine. “Were you going to touch yourself out here, Jenny? Have a little fun while I’m gone?”

“No.” I shake my head, biting the tip of his finger when he reaches out to trace my bottom lip, making him softly yelp. He doesn’t remove his finger from my mouth, though. “But I was thinking of you.”

“What were you thinking about?” His voice has gone tight, a sure indicator he’s aroused, and I smile.

“How much I miss you.” I kiss him again and he cups my face with one hand, holding me, his mouth coaxing mine open before I break away. “How much I wished you were here. Touching me.”

His smile grows. “Well, your wish is about to come true.”

Colin

My wish is about to come true too. Hell, it already has. What man doesn’t want to find the woman he’s obsessed with lying half naked in his backyard in the middle of the morning? Looking like my every teenage wet dream come to life in a skimpy bikini and no freaking top, her breasts bare and skin gleaming in the sun. Her hair is in a high, sloppy ponytail, big black sunglasses shadow her eyes, and she’s . . . beautiful. Sexy.

Just having her like this makes me painfully aroused, and I take a deep breath to calm myself and slow my roll. Swiping her sunglasses from her face, I place them on the table next to her chair before I settle both of my hands on her breasts, taking their gentle weight in my palms and cupping her. Her hard nipples stab my palms and I roll them between my thumb and index finger, pinching slightly, making her cry out.

She likes it a little rough, just like I do. I fucked her last night from behind, pulling her hair, giving her one of many spectacular orgasms. She’s so responsive, so unbelievably into it, into me, and I feel the same exact way.

I can’t get enough of her.

“Are you wet for me?” I ask gruffly. She likes it when I talk dirty to her, too. There are so many hidden depths and secrets to this woman, she’s like a constant puzzle I’m trying to figure out. And once I believe I have her solved, something new pops up, making me realize that she might forever be a mystery to me.

And I like it.

“Why don’t you check and see?” she teases, a hint of laughter in her voice.

Sounds good to me. “Lie back, Jen,” I demand, using my extra-stern boss voice that for whatever reason seems to arouse her too. Jesus, it’s ridiculous how downright combustible we are together.

She does as I command, lying back on the cushy lounge chair, her legs spreading the slightest bit. I notice—I notice everything about her. The smell of her skin, her uniquely sweet fragrance mixed with the distinctive scent of sunscreen. Stray tendrils of hair brush her cheeks, the elegant length of her neck, and the delicate gold chain she’s wearing, a tiny floating heart dangling from it.

Leaning in, I slip my finger beneath the thin chain, playing with the little heart. “I gave you this,” I say, startled to see her wearing it.

Nodding, she swallows hard. I see the movement of her throat. “Yes, you did.”

It was for her high school graduation and I’d been so damn proud to give her something of value back then, even if it was less than two hundred bucks. She’d been so thrilled when I presented the tiny wrapped box to her, hugging me tight after she saw what was inside. Her whispered thank you close to my ear had sent a strange feeling spiraling deep inside me. The way her body fit, nestled so close to mine, tripped me up too.

No way could I ever forget that night. It was one of those moments that’s burned into my memory forever.

The night I realized I saw my best friend’s little sister as something more than a pesky girl trailing after us. The moment I realized that she was an attractive, desirable woman. Funny, how I immediately declared her off limits in my brain. I couldn’t fuck around with my best friend’s baby sister.

And look at us now.

Pushing the worrisome thought from my mind, I trace her collarbone, my gaze lingering on the necklace. “I like that you’re wearing it.”

“I like that you gave it to me.” Reaching up, she touches the necklace as well, our fingers colliding.

Before I say something completely out of hand, I lean in and kiss her, hot and hard and punishing. She yields to me as she always does, her tongue circling mine, her arms going around my neck, pulling me in closer. I swallow her soft, needy moans, touching her all over her body, touching her breasts, her flat stomach, skimming over her curves, until my hands are resting at her hips.

I toy with the skimpy strings that supposedly keep the bikini bottoms on her body, tempted to give them a tug. Pulling away from her, I sit back, watching her. Her breathing is shallow, her chest rising and falling, her skin glistening with the faintest sheen of sweat mixed with sunscreen and lotion and whatever else she’s rubbed on.

Damn, she’s pretty. I want to eat her up. Keep her locked inside my house for hours, days, weeks. Lose myself in her again and again until I can think of nothing else. Only Jen. Jenny. Jennifer.

She’s all three of those women to me.

Reaching out, I brush my finger over her hip bone, tracing it gently until I’m toying with the knotted bow that rests there. Slowly I undo it, watching the string unravel until it’s completely untied. I do the same to the other side, then slowly peel the front of her bikini bottom away, revealing her to me completely.

Sweat beads my brow and I lick my lips. I could eat her up, right here, right now. She spreads her legs some more, revealing pretty, pink glistening flesh, and when I lift my gaze to her face, I find her watching me. Her eyes almost black with desire, her lips parted as if she might be having trouble breathing.

I know I sure as hell am.

“Like what you see?” she asks coyly.

I don’t answer. Merely settle my hand over her, my palm brushing against her scant pubic hair, my fingers sliding in between her wet folds. She’s drenched for me, she’s always drenched for me, and the little whimper that escapes her at my touch sends an electric current straight to my dick.

I’m hard as fuck and can’t do anything about it. I glance around, knowing the neighbors on both sides of my house work. There’s no house behind us since my fence butts up to the street. Yeah, there’s a two-story home two houses over with a stay-at-home mom of three who’s always there, but she wouldn’t be paying any attention to my backyard, would she?

Maybe. But it’s a risk I’m going to have to take.

“I’m going to make you come,” I whisper, my fingers delving deeper, slipping inside her body. “I want to watch you.”

A hint of a smile curves her lips. “You always want to watch me.”

True. “I’ve never seen you come outside. In the sunlight.”

The smile grows, a soft sound of pleasure passing from her lips when I slip another finger inside her. “Is it your personal goal to see me come in as many places as possible?”

“How’d you guess?” I kiss her again before I say something really stupid. Like how much I don’t want her to leave me. How much I’ll miss her when she’s gone. How unnecessary it is for her to go because I’m slowly starting to believe we can make this work. If she’d only let me in.

I think I’m more than ready to let her in.