Too Far Gone

38

When Leland’s head stopped hurting, he was in the closet, his body drawn up into a tight fist, drenched in sweat. One second pain was all there was in the world and then it was gone, leaving him totally spent. He knew the weakness would pass momentarily and he could step back into the light-filled world. He wouldn’t soon forget to take the medicine Doc had gotten for him.

After a few minutes, Leland climbed out from the stuffy space, to discover that Doc sat on the edge of the bed reading a red notebook he carried everywhere he went.

“Feeling better?” Doc asked without looking up, or meaning it either.

“Hate headaches,” Leland said.

“I agree,” Doc said. “Nothing worse than a migraine. Unless it’s having an abscessed tooth, your fingers flattened by a hammer while a furious big dog is chewing on your balls and you’re having to hit him with your broken hand.” Doc chuckled to himself.

“You say awful things, you know that?” Leland said.

“Medical knowledge warps the innocent. I can’t help it.”

“What’s it say in that there book that’s so interesting you have to keep reading it all the time?” Leland had never learned to read, but he knew some of the alphabet, and recognized his name when he saw it written out. And he could write it down by rote, having learned to re-create the specific letters.

“Aside from wealth beyond imagination?” Doc closed the book with a pop. “Nothing to speak of, my fine cretinous companion.”

“What you need me to do now?”

“You may go out into yon murk and mire to get the nice young man who’s presently residing within the four walls of your lovely floating hovel and bring him back here.”

“What if he’s already dead? Then do I have to?”

“Regardless of his vitals, you definitely have to do that for me. Best if he is, of course, but what is, will be.”

Leland shrugged. “I need to go get in my boat and check on my traps, because you stay off for long and just anybody can mess with your traps and lines. You know it?”

“ Your boat?” Doc said in his high-pitched voice. “ Whose boat is it, Leland?”

“You said I could have it for the jobs I’ve done did already,” Leland said, feeling the heat building in his head. People that lied and did take-backs got hurt and deserved it. Leland couldn’t change the way he saw that, and none of the doctors at the old hospital that smelled of pine resin and Clorox could either. The medicine they gave him made his arms feel heavy as wet oak logs, and he didn’t plan to ever take it again, on account of he didn’t like the way it made him feel like he was living in an underwater dream.

Doc wagged his finger at Leland. “Don’t go ribbity-rabid on me, Lee baby. It’s going to be your boat after tonight’s activities. The vessel will be a gift to you from me as soon as this is all over. The job isn’t over till the fat lady sings.”

Leland hadn’t heard a fat lady sing since he was in the hospital, and her voice hadn’t been worth listening to either. Maybe Doc liked bad singing, which wouldn’t surprise Leland. Anything Doc said or did wouldn’t surprise Leland one bit. “With owning papers saying it’s so, right?”

“Of course with a proper bill of sale turning the immaculate vessel over to one Leland Ticholet, Superman of the swampy glade. Don’t I always tell you the truth? Who was it that furnished you with copious quantities of Juicy Fruit during your unfortunate incarceration?”

Leland searched his memory, and it was true that, so far, Doc had always done just that. But Doc was a little bitty smarty-ass fool who seemed to like to get Leland just on start-up mad and then cool him back down with his flowery promises. Leland nodded and felt the heat in his face cooling. The mention of Juicy Fruit sent his mouth to watering. Leland smiled at the memory of the explosion of flavor he experienced when he chewed the magnificent little slabs of chewing gum that came wrapped in yellow. He kept forgetting to get some when he bought supplies.

“That’s better,” Doc said, putting the red book into a paper bag. Leland wondered why Doc was always wearing those gloves that made his hands look like he painted them blue.

“I need to get back out to my camp,” Leland said. “You got any Juicy Fruit?”

Doc reached into his pocket and threw Leland a jumbo brand-new pack of the gum, which hadn’t even been opened yet.

“Keep it,” Doc said.

“I have to go now.”

“Yes, so you’ve said. Go and fetch forth our guest. There’s lots to do before tonight’s big bang-bang. Don’t tell me you aren’t excited.”

“About what?” Leland asked, suspiciously.