Toys

Chapter 99

I caught Metallico’s wrist in my hands, clamped down on it with a viselike grip, and leaped up in a double backflip. Strong as he was, the torque was too much for him-I tore his arm loose at the shoulder, leaving it hanging by a single cluster of wire, which I then ripped away.

“Hays!” the robot groaned. “How could you?”

The kitchen lights flickered, and the appliances bleeped as their backup batteries kicked in-Lizbeth now had a seriously deadly weapon in her hands!

I clobbered Metallico across the head with his own arm, then hurled it like a spear at my wife-just as she was swinging the power unit around toward me.

Metallico’s spiky fingers pierced and drove through her upper arm, pinning Lizbeth to the kitchen wall. Talk about domestic squabbles.

She shrieked with pain and fury, and the power unit went clattering across the floor. I scooped it up just in time to meet Metallico’s next charge.

I rammed the feed-out prong right into his chest.

Ssssssttt! Ssssssttt! Ssssssttt! The sound was like a giant bug repeatedly hitting a red-hot grill. Very satisfying.

You’re deactivated now, you homicidal sonofabitch, I thought.

I shoved the shell of the pesky robot out of my way, leaving the prong embedded in his melting torso. Then I turned back to Lizbeth.

She was still struggling to free herself from the wall, and her flesh was starting to bleed. But the wounds weren’t serious, and whatever qualms I’d had about fighting her were quickly gone.

In fact, I was grimly pleased-the shock and pain might make her more cooperative.

That was when I heard a familiar little voice scream, “Stop hurting Mommy!”

Just then, something completely unexpected and unrecognizable came hurtling through the air, smacking me in the face. It was something furry and wiggling, and it was making cheerful arf arf sounds.

It took me a second, but then I recognized it as the girls’ robot dog, Fuzzy! Yet another demonic toy in our house.

April, with her face scrunched up by tears and panic, was swinging him by the tail and flailing him at me.

At the same instant, I felt a sharp, stabbing pain in my ankle.

Flabbergasted, I looked down to see my little sweetheart, Chloe. She was sinking her teeth into me just as hard as she could.

“Human!” My daughter screeched the dreaded H-word.