Two-Dollar Bill

33

STONE WENT to the kitchen and made himself a ham sandwich, his lunch having been interrupted. He was eating it when the phone rang. He let Joan pick it up. A moment later, she buzzed him.

"It's Arrington, on line one," she said.

"You're sure it isn't somebody from the National Perpetrator?"

"There's no such publication."

"Well, there should be." He punched line one. "Hello?"

"You're talking with your mouth full."

He gulped down the bite of sandwich. "There, is that better?"

"Much."

"I'm sorry our lunch was interrupted."

"So am I, but I know it wasn't your fault. At least, I'd like to believe that it wasn't your fault."

"Thank you for that resounding vote of confidence."

"You're welcome. Would you like to have dinner tonight?"

"I would. There's only one place we can go where we'll be safe from photographers."

"Where's that?"

"Elaine's. The photographers are scared of her."

"All right. My driver is bringing my car up from Virginia this afternoon; I'll pick you up at eight-thirty."

"You're on."

"Until then." She hung up.

Stone hung up, too, hope renewed.

THAT NIGHT, Stone left the house and settled into the wonderfully comfortable rear seat of Vance Calder's dark green, long-wheelbase Bentley Arnage. Arrington kissed him lightly.

"Do you remember this car?"

"Yes, from LA."

"It's a bit out of place in Albemarle County, but I couldn't part with it."

"It'll be perfect for New York," Stone replied. "The traffic moves at an average of nine miles per hour here, and it's better being stuck in this English drawing room on wheels than suffering the broken-down backseat of a New York City taxicab."

"I suppose it is."

"Have you started looking for an apartment, yet?"

"Not only have I started looking, I've found one."

"Wonderful! Where?"

"Fifth Avenue, overlooking the park. All I need is a designer, and I have some ideas about that."

Elaine's was only half full when they arrived, and they were shown to Stone's usual table. The waiters fawned over Arrington, welcoming her back, and she stopped to speak to a couple of people on the way to the table.

"I'd forgotten what a nice place this can be," she said, as they sat down. "One always knows somebody."

"True. What would you like to drink?"

"A cosmopolitan, I think."

Stone ordered that, and his usual Knob Creek came with it. They raised their glasses.

"Renewed friendships," Stone said.

"We are friends, aren't we?" she asked. "I mean, in addition to having been lovers, we've always been friends."

Well, not always, Stone thought. "Of course we have."

Elaine came through the door at the stroke of nine and spotted them immediately. She came over and gave Stone a hug and a kiss but offered only a hand to Arrington. "Hi," she said, then went to another table.

"Well, that was rather frosty," Arrington said.

"Oh, you know how Elaine is with women," Stone said.

"I know she prefers the company of men, but I thought we always got along well."

"Once you're a regular again, all will be well. Elaine likes regulars. It doesn't matter to her that you haven't been coming because you live in L.A. and Virginia; all she cares about is that you haven't been coming."

"All right," Arrington said, sipping her cosmopolitan. Then her face lit up. Dino was coming through the front door. She waved, and he came over and gave her a big hug.

"It's great to see you back, Arrington," he said.

"And it's always good to see you, Dino. Please join us for dinner."

Stone aimed a kick at Dino under the table, which he deftly avoided. "I'd love to, and I know Stone would love it, too." He waved to a waiter for a Scotch.

"And how are Mary Ann and Benito?"

"My wife and son are both thriving."

"And when did you last see them?" Arrington asked, archly.

"As a matter of fact I just had dinner with them at home," Dino said. "Ben is now doing his homework, and his mother is doing whatever she does when I'm here."

"Which is, what, every night?"

"Only five or six nights a week. We have to go out to her father's for dinner one night."

"And how is the mysterious Eduardo?"

"Old, but hardy."

"Dare I ask about Dolce?"

"Mrs. Barrington is in a rubber room, or Stone would be dead now."

Stone made a face at Dino to ward him off the subject, but it didn't help. He had once been married to Dino's sister-in-law, Dolce, for a few minutes, before she turned out to be raving and murderously mad. "It was never legal in this country," Stone said.

"Thanks to Eduardo," Dino drawled.

"Stone still thinks of himself as a bachelor, not a divorce," Dino said.

Arrington laughed. "Stone still thinks of himself as a virgin."

The two of them thought this uproariously funny, while Stone pretended to be amused.

"So, Stone," Dino said, "you had any offers from the porno industry, yet?"

"Dino…"

"Are you referring to the business of the naked U.S. Attorney on the Justice Department Web site?" Arrington asked.

"What else?" Dino replied. "Hilarious, isn't it?"

"Priceless."

"I want you both to stop this," Stone said. "Both she and I are victims of mistaken identity, and that's the whole of it."

"Sure, Stone," Dino said. "Whatever you say."

"God, it was only on the Web site for a few minutes, and the whole world seems to have seen it."

"I heard that some kid in Jersey taped it and is already selling it on the Internet," Dino said.

Stone groaned. "Anybody hungry?" He waved frantically for a waiter to bring menus.

"Starved," Arrington said.

Stone looked up from his menu to see Tiffany Baldwin walk into the restaurant, accompanied by a well-dressed man.

"Stone, what's wrong?" Arrington said. "You look as if you've seen a ghost." Her gaze followed his toward the door.

"Not a ghost," Dino said. "A video porn star."