Wanted

19 THE BIGGEST QUESTION OF EMILY’S LIFE

Sheets of cold rain pounded on the roof of Emily’s Volvo wagon as she turned into Ali’s new neighborhood. The development’s duck pond, with its quaint wooden gazebo and rickety footbridge, was silent and still in the cold, wintry darkness. Emily had already envisioned sitting with Ali by the duck pond’s edge in the springtime, holding hands and blowing dandelion seeds across the grass. She’d imagined riding bikes with Ali around the winding streets of the development and camping out in her big backyard, waking up every few hours to kiss. And she’d pictured pulling up to Ali’s house tomorrow to pick up Ali for the Valentine’s Day dance, Ali descending the staircase dressed in a gorgeous red silk gown and red satin heels.

Hopefully she wasn’t getting ahead of herself.

After her conversation with Carolyn at the diner, Emily had decided to ask Ali to the dance today at school. Problem was, she hadn’t seen Ali anywhere. She wasn’t at Steam with Naomi, Riley, and Hanna’s stepsister-to-be, Kate. Emily didn’t pass her in the hallways between third and fourth period on her way to chemistry. She hadn’t shown up at gym, either. During sixth period, jittery to the point of feeling sick, Emily asked for a hall pass from her ceramics teacher and roamed the school, peeking into various classrooms, hoping for a glimpse of Ali’s face. The dance was the next day. She was running out of time.

The DiLaurentises’ porch light was on, and the family’s BMW was in the driveway. Emily took a few deep breaths, staring at the traffic light beyond Ali’s street. If it turns green in the next five seconds, Ali will say yes, she said to herself. She slowly counted to five. The light glowed red. Best two out of three, she decided.

Five more seconds passed, and the traffic light was still red. Sighing, she got out of the car, strode up the walk, and rang the bell. There were footsteps, and then the door swung open. Jason DiLaurentis stood on the other side, his blond hair combed flat against his head and his face unshaven, wearing ratty jeans and a Penn T-shirt. When he saw it was Emily, his eyebrows knitted together. The last time Emily had seen Jason, he’d chewed her out for allegedly denting his car. The heated look on his face made her think he hadn’t forgotten.

“Hey,” Emily said, trembling slightly. “I’m here to see…Courtney.” She caught herself just before she said Ali.

“Uh, sure.” Jason yelled Courtney’s name up the stairs, then turned back and gave Emily a long, unapologetic look. Emily’s cheeks burned. She fiddled anxiously with a wooden dog statue that was sitting on the console table just for something to do with her hands.

“So you and Courtney are friends now?” Jason asked finally. “Just like that?”

“Yeah.” So? she wanted to add.

“Hey!” Ali bounded down the stairs. Her blond hair was in a ponytail, and she was wearing a sky blue T-shirt, a color she’d always worn back in seventh grade because it drew out her eyes. “What a nice surprise!”

Emily turned back to Jason, but he’d disappeared. “Hi,” she answered, feeling dizzy.

“Let’s go to the den,” Ali suggested, whirling around and disappearing into a room off the hall. The room was big, square, and dark, and smelled like a woodstove. A flat-screen TV was shoved against the corner, heavy velvet curtains were pulled across the windows, and a striped candy dish full of pink M&M’s sat in the middle of the coffee table. A bunch of photos lay on the floor, propped up against the chairs and bookcases.

Emily leaned down to look at the photo on top of the pile. It was a picture of the DiLaurentis parents and children—only two children, not three. Ali was in seventh grade, her face slightly rounder, her hair a little lighter. Jason stood next to her, his mouth smiling but his eyes serious. The DiLaurentis parents rested their hands on their kids’ shoulders, grinning proudly as if they had nothing to hide.

She stared again at Jason’s image, still shaky from their interaction in the hall. “Are you sure your brother doesn’t know who you really are?” she whispered.

Ali slumped down on the couch and shook her head vehemently. “No.” She shot Emily a warning look. “And please don’t tell him. My family has to believe I’m Courtney. It’s the only way they’ll think I’m better.”

Emily leaned back, the leather making a squeaky noise under her legs. “I promise.”

Then she reached out and touched Ali’s hand. It was cold and a little clammy. “I missed you today. There was something I wanted to ask you.”

Ali stared at Emily’s hand on hers. Her lips parted slightly. “What?”

Emily’s heart thumped. “Well, there’s a school Valentine’s Day dance tomorrow.”

Ali moved her jaw. Her bottom teeth stuck out slightly.

“Anyway, I was wondering if you’d…” Emily paused, the words catching in her throat. “If you’d want to go with me. Like as a date. We could double with my sister and her boyfriend. It’ll be really fun.”

Ali pulled her hand away. “Em…” she started. The corners of her lips shook, as if she was suppressing a laugh.

Emily’s stomach plummeted. All at once, she was transported to Ali’s tree house, moments after she’d leaned over and kissed Ali’s lips. Ali kissed back for a delicious few moments before she’d pulled away. “Now I know why you get so quiet when we change during gym class,” she’d teased.

Emily jumped up, bumping into the corner of an enormous marble chessboard on the coffee table. The white queen wobbled, then tipped over. “I have to go.”

Ali’s face fell. “What? Why?”

Emily fumbled for her jacket over the back of the chair. “I just remembered. I have homework.”

Ali’s eyes were round and troubled. “I don’t want you to leave.”

Emily’s chin wobbled. Don’t cry, she told herself.

“I meant what I said the other day about how I feel about you.” Ali grabbed Emily’s hand. Outside, the neighbor’s porch light flickered on. “But I have to get my life together first, okay?”

Emily searched for the car keys in her coat pocket. It was probably an excuse. Ali would be making fun of her for it by tomorrow. Emily shouldn’t have trusted her so quickly. She clearly hadn’t changed that much.

“I’m not going to ditch you,” Ali promised, like she could tell what was galloping through Emily’s mind. “The most important thing is that we’re friends again. We can still hang out at the dance. And I want all of us to get ready together.”

“All of us?” Emily blinked.

“You, me, Spencer, Hanna…” Ali looked hopeful. “Maybe even Aria? I was thinking that we could go to my family’s Poconos house afterward.” She squeezed Emily’s hands. “I want us all to be back together again, like things used to be.”

Emily sniffed, but she put her keys away.

Ali patted the cushion beside her. “Please stay. We need to talk about the dance, now that I know you’re going. I bet you haven’t even picked out a dress yet.”

“Well, no. I was thinking of wearing something of my sister’s.”

Ali punched her playfully. “Just like old times.”

Emily sat back down. It felt like her emotions had been on a high-spin cycle, but as Ali opened a copy of Teen Vogue and pointed out a series of party dresses that would complement Emily’s peaches-and-cream complexion, her mood began to thaw. Perhaps she was losing sight of things. Ali had returned—everything else would come in time.

Ali was reaching for Seventeen when Emily heard footsteps in the hall. Jason stood at the foot of the stairs, glaring into the den. His forehead was wrinkled, the corners of his mouth turned sharply down, and he was gripping the banister so tightly that his knuckles were white.

Emily’s mouth dropped open. But just as she was about to nudge Ali, Jason stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him.