With All My Soul

Chapter Twenty-Two

The school cafeteria was somehow even creepier than I’d remembered. Maybe because my errand was creepier this time. Or maybe because I was breaking a promise to people I loved. Or maybe because I knew that even if I got what I wanted out of this midnight errand, I wouldn’t really be getting what I wanted.

There was no way for me to win this game. I’d lost the moment I started playing.

In the massive, stainless steel kitchen, I pulled a small knife from a now-familiar drawer, then sat cross-legged on the floor in a pool of moonlight shining through the window. I peeled the bandage from my left palm. Explaining another cut wouldn’t be a problem this time, so I sliced my skin open again. I gasped at the raw pain—still couldn’t get used to that—and a line of dark red blood welled parallel to the one scabbed over half an inch away.

This time, I let the blood pool in my cupped palm, and with the knife on the floor at my side, I dipped my right index finger into my own blood and wrote Ira’s name on the dingy linoleum tiles. Then I sucked in a deep breath and tried to purge my fear while preserving my anger, which Ira would want to taste.

I had no problem with the anger part. Letting go of my fear was much harder.

I stared at the three letters on the floor, glistening dark, dark red in the moonlight. And for a second, I thought about backing out. Then I closed my eyes and whispered Ira’s name into the night.

My eyes opened, and a second later the hellion appeared in front of me, mirroring my cross-legged pose, staring across his own name at me. “Ms. Cavanaugh.” On his tongue, my name sounded like the clash of swords, wielded in timeless fury.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” he continued while I struggled to focus through the anger emanating from him, settling into my bones. Into my hands that wanted to form fists. Or to pick up the knife.

“You owe this pleasure to Avari, but I’d rather reverse the charges so that he owes you. And I think I know how to make that happen.”

His dark brows rose. They were the color of my blood slowly drying on the floor and now dripping from between my fingers. “I’m intrigued....”

“So there’s no misunderstanding, I have a proposal. I’m here to make a deal.”

He nodded. “Of course you are. State your terms—first, what you need from me, then, how you’re willing to pay. But you should know that tonight you reek of fear and sadness, as much as anger, and while I can and will feed from both of those emotions, they do not command as high a price as your rage.”

“Acknowledged.” It scared me even more to realize that I was picking up the lingo. “But if you agree to my terms, there will be plenty of anger for you—and it won’t just be mine.”

Another arch of a single dark red brow. “Do continue.”

“My first demand—” I’d considered calling them requests, but because they were nonnegotiable, “demand” felt more accurate “—is that you deliver my uncle and Harmony Hudson to the human world without inflicting any further harm on them, and that you make no attempt to contact them or to reacquire them for the duration of our agreement.”

“You’re assuming I know where they are?”

“I am.” I nodded firmly and tried not to notice that blood was still pooling in my palm. “I’m further assuming that you have them in your possession. That maybe you’ve had them since shortly after Tod and I found bloody bandages in the Netherworld version of the local hospital.”

“Clever girl...” Ira smiled, clearly delighted, and I had to remind myself that his approval meant less than nothing to me. “How did you know?”

“I know from experience that Avari is powerful and his resources are vast. Yet he doesn’t have them. The only reason I can think of for him not to have found them is that you found them first.”

“Or they’re dead.” He watched closely for my reaction.

“If they were dead and Avari knew about it, he would have told me, just to feed from my suffering. You, however, understand that I suffer just as much—if not more—by not knowing where they are or what shape they’re in. And you’re not shortsighted enough to kill them before you’ve gotten all possible use out of them as living hostages. Right?”

Please, please let me be right....

“So far, so good,” he said, and again I was surprised by his vernacular speech. Was anger that much closer to the general heart of humanity than envy? I didn’t want to think about what that said about us as a species.

“My second demand—”

“Can you pay for a second demand?” Ira said. “I’m not sure you truly understand the debt your first request has already accrued.”

I might not know what he’d want as payment, but I knew what I was willing to give. And that was all that mattered.

“My second demand,” I continued, without acknowledging his warning, “is that for the duration of our arrangement, you will protect my friends and family.” He started to object, and the first spark of anger I’d seen from him flashed in his dark eyes. “Specifically,” I said, talking over him. “Specifically, all of my blood relatives, as well as Emma Marshall, in any body her soul inhabits, Sabine Campbell, Luca Tedesco, and Harmony, Nash, and Tod Hudson.” I couldn’t risk him deciding on his own that any one of them wasn’t a close enough friend to warrant protecting.

“You want me to protect them? You do understand that you’re dealing with a hellion, right? Not a guardian angel.”

“Don’t worry. I’m willing to pay.”

His eyes flashed again. “Child, it would take years of you existing in a constant state of homicidal fury to pay off a debt like that.”

“I know.” But I wouldn’t be the only one paying.

“Well then...is there anything else on this fantasy list of demands from a child who’s obviously grown too big for her mortal britches?”

“Just one more thing....”

As I outlined my last demand—the most selfish of them all—his eyes widened in surprise and delight like I’d never seen before from a hellion. The more excited he grew, the more unnerved I became, in part because a hellion’s joy is never pleasant to witness. But also because it was my pain, fear, and anger putting that creepy, dried-blood smile on his face, and that was one of the scariest facts I’d ever contemplated.

When I was finished, Ira stared at me in obvious anticipation. “I must admit, I am intrigued by your devious, clever little mind.” Then he licked his lips with a dark, dark tongue. “Now, let’s discuss payment.”

I took another deep breath and clenched my hands into fists to keep them from visibly shaking, though he could probably taste everything I was feeling on the air, whether or not I let it show. Blood dripped between the fingers of my left hand, and the fresh cut throbbed. “You’ll get a partial payment up front, and even more over the course of our arrangement. Years of pain, fear, and the resulting homicidal rage, just like you said. Then, the bulk will be paid by a third party, when you’ve upheld the last part of our deal.”

“The bulk?”

I nodded. “Pure, concentrated wrath. Way more of it than any mortal body could ever contain. Are you familiar with the term ‘mother lode’? Do hellions say that? Because that’s what I’m talking about here. The biggest payoff of your immortal existence.”

“That’s an impressive offer.” Ira frowned at me, and I realized he was trying to smell a lie. “How do you intend to produce such a payment?”

“I find your skepticism insulting,” I said, and he actually chuckled. “If you come through on your end, I’ll come through on mine.” In fact, one was contingent on the other. “Okay?”

The hellion nodded slowly. “The delivery schedule is understood and agreed to. Now, for the up-front part of the payment.” His eyes glittered with perverse pleasure, and it took all of my self-control to keep from gagging. “What did you have in mind?”

I dipped my right index finger into the blood still pooled in my left palm, then reached out to trace his lower lip. “There will be much, much more, but it starts with another kiss....”

By the time I crossed into the Netherworld, dried blood had crusted on my lips and around my mouth. Ira was not a neat kisser.

That thought—and the fact that I had reason to think it—nearly made me lose what little I’d eaten since lunch the day before. My jaw ached and my tongue throbbed from being bitten, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever get the taste of my own blood out of my mouth. Not to mention the taste of hellion.

I scrubbed my mouth with the tail of my shirt as we walked, but since I had no mirror, I couldn’t be sure I’d gotten all the blood off.

The hospital rose in front of us, and we veered slowly toward the mental health unit across the parking lot from the main building. I stepped carefully to avoid baby creeper vines reaching for me from cracks in the concrete—they had crossed over from the human world, thanks to the steady human traffic on our side of the barrier. Ira let me set the pace, and I wasn’t sure why until he spoke.

“I would tell you not to worry, little fury, except that I’ve grown to enjoy the taste of your fear.”

I had nothing to say to that.

Lakeside looked extra-creepy in the red-tinted Netherworld moonlight, and our stunted shadows, splayed out on the sidewalk in front of us, bore little resemblance to our actual bodies. His even seemed to have an extra limb in my peripheral vision.

Things skittered in the high grass on either side of the walkway, and my instinct was to shy away from sounds I couldn’t identify. But Ira had already promised me a safe escort as part of his side of the deal we’d struck. Nothing would mess with me for the next few minutes.

After that, all bets were off.

I wanted to threaten him with the consequences of going back on his word, just to reassure myself, but there were no consequences, which was just as well, because he couldn’t go back on his word. That was the best thing about a hellion’s inability to lie.

However, just because he couldn’t back out didn’t mean everything would go as I’d planned. If there was something I’d missed—something I’d failed to stipulate or make him agree to—the whole thing would fall apart around me. And I wouldn’t be the only one to suffer for it.

“Ready, little fury?” Ira asked, and his words sent waves of anger rolling through me, a fan stoking flames of a rage I’d almost forgotten I’d left burning.

“I will never be ready for this,” I whispered, and he stared down into my eyes, as near as I could tell, considering that his had no pupils or irises.

“But you will do it anyway. That’s why he wants you. That selflessness is contrary to everything he is and everything he will ever be. He can’t understand you, but he will try, and that process will not be pleasant for you.”

“But it will be pleasant for you.” As part of our deal. And it would be pleasant for Avari, because I’d found no way around that.

“Well then, shall we?”

I nodded again, and Ira looked up at the building in front of us. “Avarice!” He didn’t shout, but his voice was so loud it rang in my bones, a sensation like the residual ache after a blow from a blunt object. “Come out and claim your prize.”

For several seconds, nothing happened, and Ira leaned down—way down—to stage-whisper to me, an intoxicated smile forming on dark lips still smeared with my blood. “He’s here, and he’s thoroughly enraged. How delightful!”

“Ire.” Avari appeared several feet in front of Lakeside’s main entrance, a double set of glass doors that had both been shattered long ago, judging by the glass already ground into sand on the steps. “I did not realize you were making deliveries.”

“Anything, for the right price. Just like you.”

Avari’s brows furrowed. “You and I have reached no agreement—I acknowledge no debt for this delivery.”

“My agreement is with Ms. Cavanaugh. She is here under my escort and protection until she surrenders to your possession or returns to the human world.”

“She paid you to deliver her to me?” Avari demanded, and even I could hear the anger and greed dripping from his words. “How? At what price?”

“She is paying for my protection until she surrenders—if she surrenders. The price is beyond your concern.”

“And none of your damn business,” I added, thoroughly enjoying the angry lines that formed around his jaw and the brief moment during which he was obviously too pissed off to speak. “Let’s get on with it. You agreed to send my father back if I surrender. I’m here. Go get my dad. Now.”

Avari hesitated just long enough to demonstrate that he wasn’t taking orders from me; he was merely sticking to the deal he’d offered. Then, without looking away from me or raising his voice, he said, “Ladies...”

Belphegore and Invidia appeared behind him on the steps, each gripping one of my father’s arms as he sagged, unconscious, between them. Pulverized glass crunched beneath their feet, and the toes of my father’s shoes dragged twin paths through it.

“Is he okay?” I didn’t bother to screen fear from my voice—Avari already knew I loved my father.

“He yet lives and is not beyond repair.”

“Where are the others?” Invidia tossed her hair—an ever-flowing stream of molten envy—over one shoulder. Drops of it splattered around her, burning tiny holes in her dress and sizzling like acid on the steps.

“They will come for her, and when they do, you may each take one of your choosing. As per our arrangement.”

I could see how much the words hurt Avari to say. The hellion of greed didn’t like to share his toys, but if he’d given Invidia and Belphegore his word, in exchange for their help, he couldn’t go back on it.

“You won’t even get a shot at them,” I said, and Avari laughed.

“I may not understand emotions like love and compassion, but I can anticipate their results, little bean sidhe. Human heartstrings function like a marionette’s strings if properly manipulated. They will come for you because they value your company. Just like you came for your father.”

Leave it to a hellion to define love as “valuing” someone’s company.

As for his actual point...

“Ms. Cavanaugh’s friends and family are under my sworn protection for the duration of our arrangement.” Ira hadn’t been pleased with that particular clause when he’d agreed to it, but now pleasure echoed in his voice, as his announcement produced Avari’s rage. “Even if they come for her, I cannot let you take them.”

That was my fail-safe. If my plan worked, my friends and family would never try to rescue me because—thanks to Levi’s lie—they thought I was truly gone. They thought my soul had been recycled and that I was finally resting in peace.

But just in case one of them figured it out—Tod had the best chance because of his subconscious memory and because he worked with Levi—I had Ira. And Ira, as far as I knew, was the only being in existence who could stop Avari from doing what he did best. And Avari obviously knew it.

The sound that burst from the greed hellion’s mouth was unlike anything I’d ever heard. It was a roar of outrage. A bellow of fury that crashed over and through me so thoroughly my bones quivered and my teeth clacked together, completely beyond my control.

Ira seemed to swell with the sound. He took it in, sucking it from the very air like a sponge absorbing water, until Avari realized he was feeding his new nemesis and bit the roar off with a painful-sounding gurgle-growl.

But that wasn’t the end of his rage. Though he probably had no idea, that was only the very beginning of what he would eventually feed Ira, as payment by proxy for the deal the hellion of rage and I had struck.

“Well played, little fury,” Ira said, loud enough for Avari to hear, even if his ears were ringing like mine were. “Hellion rage is not as pure and satisfying as that of a mortal, but what it lacks in quality, it makes up for in quantity. This rage will burn within him for decades.”

And that was just the tip of the anger-iceberg.

“You’re paying him with my wrath?” the hellion of greed demanded, and yet more fury leaked out with his words, a verbal appetizer for Ira.

“Yes.” In part. And I was well aware that Avari’s anger would not improve my treatment at his hands. But there was nothing I could do about that, so I tried not to think about it. “Let’s talk terms.”

“You surrender. Your father goes home. Those are my terms.” Avari was more furious than I’d ever seen him. More furious than I could ever have imagined. Ice grew beneath his feet, spreading slowly down the steps and over the sidewalk toward us, and he didn’t even seem to see it.

“That’s the general idea, but it does me no good to free my father from you if you’re just going to go after him or someone else I love later.” And he’d do it, after my deal with Ira expired. “With that in mind, I have two demands. If you turn down either one of them, I will walk away from this deal.” He didn’t look like he believed me. I didn’t give a damn. “First, we both agree that in exchange for my immortal soul, you will free my father. Immediately.”

“Agreed.” If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear Avari was rolling featureless eyes at me. “In fact, that is the offer I presented to you.”

Yes. But I needed his offer to me to stand separately—officially—from my real demand.

“Good. Second, I want your word that once I’ve surrendered, you will never again attempt to contact or hurt any member of my family or any of my established friends, in any way, shape, or form, personally or through any other agency acting on your behalf.”

Ira had helped me with the phrasing. Based on Avari’s still-escalating expression of fury—he was nearly speechless—the wrath demon didn’t regret offering me that little bit of assistance at no additional charge.

Avari growled through clenched teeth, and the familiar—and very human—demonstration of his anger almost pleased me. “For what duration?”

What part of “never again” did he not understand?

I propped both hands on my hips, pretending to think it over. “How long do you plan to keep my soul?”

“As long as I like. The blink of a hellion’s eye stretches well beyond a mortal’s understanding of the passage of time, and I intend to enjoy the torment of your soul for much longer than that.”

“So, forever, at least from a ‘mortal’s understanding’?” I said. “Is that a reasonable assumption?”

“Depending on your definition of ‘reasonable,’ yes.” He looked hesitant to admit that. Suspicious.

“Well then, I think ‘forever’ is reasonable in this instance as well. You will have nothing to do with my friends and family, forever, beginning the moment I surrender to you.”

“No.” Avari seemed to take a perverse pleasure in that one word.

“No deal, then.” He started to object, and I spoke over him. “Why should I give myself to you to save my father if you’re just going to go after my friends and family later? That’s not me saving my father—that’s me delaying his torture and inevitably painful death. I’m not going to sell my own soul for anything less than the absolute freedom—from you—of everyone I love.” My heart thundered within my chest. My pulse was the fevered race of fear through my veins as I turned to Ira to say the words that would either pull Avari into our trap or trigger the collapse of everything I’d lied, stolen, and negotiated for. “Let’s go.”

He nodded triumphantly, virtually glutted on Avari’s rage, and we started to turn.

“Wait!” Avari roared at my back, and the sound rolled over me like an arctic gust, raising chill bumps the length of my body even as it threw me forward. I stumbled to keep from falling, grinning the whole time. I could practically feel his greed, at just the thought that some other hellion might make off with the prize he’d been chasing for months—which obviously didn’t feel like a “blink of the eye” at the moment. “Fine. I agree,” he said, and the words sounded like icicles shattering on concrete. “Once I take possession of your soul, I will have no further contact with your friends or family members, directly or indirectly. From now, until the end of my own existence, should that day ever arrive.”

I glanced up at Ira. “Does that about cover it?”

“I believe it does.” His black orb eyes shined. “And that means this is goodbye, little fury.”

My pulse raced out of control, flushing my system with fear and dread. Panic tripped in my chest, and my heart skipped one beat, then another. My hands tingled, and I could no longer feel my feet. “Don’t forget what you promised....”

“Like it or not, I am a hellion of my word. We all are.” He shot an amused look at Avari, who seemed to hate the hellion of wrath with an all-new passion. “One more kiss for the road?”

I nodded, and Ira leaned down to kiss me one more time, in front of three other hellions and assorted creepy-crawlies that had gathered to watch, no doubt waiting for the chance to grab a scrap of flesh or a chip of bone should one be tossed their way.

But that kiss wasn’t just a goodbye between me and Ira, who was only playing the part of my friend because I was paying him. That kiss was a vital part of my deal with the hellion of wrath.

This time when his lips met mine, he inhaled and warmth seemed to flow from my body, pulled through my throat, then from my mouth into his. A bitter cold remained in its absence, and suddenly I couldn’t remember...something.

There was something I’d known a moment earlier, but couldn’t...quite...recall. Whatever it was, it was important. So important it had to be removed before Avari could find it in my head, when he took me apart.

And now it was completely gone.

Ira stepped back and licked his lips, and more ice spread across the ground toward us from beneath Avari’s feet. “Your father is waiting,” he said, and little crystals of ice seemed to fall from his words.

Greed is a cold emotion; wrath is white-hot. Stuck between them, I felt like an icicle on fire.

“Fine.” My head spun, and my stomach cramped. Avari had told me months ago that in the Netherworld, my existence could stretch into eternity, but I’d never imagined that my eternal existence would belong to him, much less that I would give it to him of my own free will.

But I had no other option. Nothing else would protect my friends and family, and if I’d learned anything about Avari over the past year, it was that he would not stop hunting us until he got what he wanted.

Until he got me.

“It has to be your choice,” he reminded me, and I nodded. I had to agree to stay. I had to give him my soul.

I took in a deep breath, more out of habit than any real need for air. Then I said the words that had been rolling around in my head for the past couple of hours.

“You’ll let my dad go if I give you my soul?”

“Yes.”

“And beginning from the moment you take possession, you’ll never again try to contact anyone I care about, forever and ever, amen?”

“This redundancy is exasperating, Ms. Cavanaugh.”

“Just say it.”

He growled in frustration, and Ira chuckled. “Yes. Beginning the moment I take possession of your soul, I will never again attempt to contact your friends and family for any reason whatsoever.”

I sucked in a deep breath and swallowed the massive lump in my throat to keep from vomiting. “Fine. My soul is yours.” My world changed in that moment. It...darkened. Narrowed. Spiraled toward infinite despair. “Come get it before I change my mind.”

Avari’s hand closed around my arm. Belphegore and Invidia released my father. The instant they let him go, his eyelids began to flutter. Ira disappeared from my side and appeared at my father’s, holding him up.

“Kaylee?” At first, my dad looked as confused as he sounded. Then he blinked, and horror came into focus in his expression as the Netherworld came into focus around him. He looked at me, then at Avari. Then at the demon’s hand around my arm. “No! Kaylee, no!”

Tears filled my eyes for the millionth time in the past four days. “This is the only way, Dad.” My hands shook. My teeth chattered. My entire body seemed to be convulsing with fear and dread. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t find some other way.”

I wanted to tell him not to worry about me. That I’d be fine. But that wasn’t true. I wouldn’t be fine. Avari would make sure of that.

“No!” My dad tried to stand, but he was still too weak. Confused. He didn’t seem to realize Ira was holding him up.

“You’re safe now. Avari can’t touch you—any of you.” And they were under Ira’s protection. That much I remembered, but the rest of my deal with the hellion of wrath was... It was gone.

Terror furled through me at that fresh realization. What if I’d gotten something wrong? What if I hadn’t covered all the bases? It was too late now. I couldn’t even remember the details. I’d have to trust myself. I’d have to trust Ira, as much as any hellion could be trusted, but that was really just trusting myself to have made sure he gave his word.

“Kaylee!” Now my father was crying, and Avari let me watch. Avari made me watch, because my pain was already feeding him.

“Make him forget!” I shouted at Ira, and only once I’d said the words did I remember that he had to. I’d negotiated for that.

Ira put one hand over my father’s eyes and whispered something into his ear. Something I couldn’t hear and could no longer recall the specifics of, even though I’d made him promise to say it. To...do whatever he was doing.

Then they were gone. Just like that, my father was gone. He was safe.

I was alone in hell.

Avari spun me to face him. The world twisted around me, and pain spread through my flesh at his touch, like his fingers were icicles stabbing into me, spreading through my veins, freezing the blood in them. I would have fallen to my knees if he wasn’t holding me up.

“I always knew this day would come, little bean sidhe. I knew that someday you would scream just for me. So open your pretty little mouth, and let’s have a taste of forever.”

His hand clenched around my arm, and pain like a thousand needles shot through every muscle in my body, driving away all thought and all sight. My mouth dropped open, and a scream of agony ripped free from my throat, shredding the soft tissues as it poured out of me.

Avari laughed, and I realized I heard him in my head, because my ears were full of my own screaming. As he dragged me down the cracked sidewalk, my toes scraping concrete, snagging on vines and thorns, his next words seemed to take root in my brain, bypassing my ears entirely.

“Welcome to hell, Ms. Cavanaugh. Please make yourself at home.”