1636: The Viennese Waltz

CHAPTER 32

October 1635

The Hofburg Palace, Vienna

“Sarah has gone to fetch her sister Judy and the Barbies,” Mariana told the emperor and the gathered nobility in the room.

“Why?”

“She says what we have is an image problem and I tend to agree.”

“An image problem?”

“We have vaults full of silver, and no one trusts our money.”

Heads turned as the movers and shakers of Austria-Hungary looked at each other.

“So why the sister?” asked Duke Leopold, and Mariana looked at him. His expression was even more sour than his tone had been. He continued. “From what I have heard her say, she has very little true understanding of economics or any of the other up-time sciences. She said she has no need to understand how airplanes work, she just hires one when she needs to go somewhere. She made similar comments about medicine, steam, internal combustion and, specifically, economics.”

Mariana was actually fond of her brother-in-law, at least most of the time. Just at the moment, however, he was acting like a spoiled three-year-old. “According to Sarah, Judy understands the making and managing of image better than anyone Sarah has ever met. Considering that Sarah knows Mike Stearns, Gustav Adolf, Els Engel, not to mention Wallenstein, Pappenheim, the Roths and who knows who else, I think we must assume that that the young woman you chose to grope in public is the greatest expert on style in Christendom.”

“Leo,” Ferdinand said, “go to your apartments.”

Leo looked shocked, but after a moment he stood stiffly, bowed to his brother and left the room.

Ferdinand watched him go, then looked around the room, his eyes resting for some time on Gundaker and Maximilian. “There will be no suggestion in this meeting that the young ladies who are coming here are peasants or even lesser nobility. Assume for the time that they are my sisters or cousins. If you can’t do that, leave now.”

Mariana knew that Ferdinand was not comfortable with the von Up-time rank and she realized that he was being as harsh as he was on the subject to counter his own doubts. She was more comfortable with the notion of von Up-time than he was, because she believed that God was talking to the world though the Ring of Fire. Pope Urban had not gone to the USE, but neither had he come to Austria-Hungary. Her faith had not had a strong anchor in Rome. Instead, there was the miracle of the Ring of Fire, and whatever the judgment of the clerics, she found herself clinging to that.

Fortney House, Race Track City

“So what’s up at the palace?” Judy asked as Sarah hurried in the front door.

Sarah looked around at the curious faces. “Judy, Trudi, Susan, we need to talk.”

A few minutes later, in Hayley’s private office with the door closed, Sarah began. “How do we restore faith in the reich money?”

“Why do we want to?” Judy asked.

“Why do we need to?” Trudi asked at the same time.

“Because there aren’t enough barbies to run Austria-Hungary,” Sarah said.

“Well, we could print more barbies,” Judy said.

“No. Liechtenstein Tower and all the other projects are still only a small fraction of the Austro-Hungarian economy. They’re becoming a vital fraction but even that’s more because of the perception rather than the percentage of GDP.”

“Well, we could print barbies and buy reich money,” Trudi suggested.

“No way,” Susan said.

“So we turn around and buy silver with the reich money,” Trudi said.

Susan shook her head. “No. We pay two percent a year on every barbie we issue and you know it. Besides, silver is going down against BarbieCo.”

“But silver is going to go back up someday. Isn’t it, Sarah?”

“Yes, some day. Probably starting in about ten years.” Sarah shrugged. “The economy is going to grow much faster than silver stocks, but that’s not the only factor. Right now, silver is a monetary metal that is losing its status. That decreases its value, producing a glut which decreases its value even more. Eventually, that will turn around, but not any time soon.”

“There is no way we are blowing barbies on silver.” Susan’s voice was very firm.

“Okay, okay,” Trudi said. “But then we need some way to prop up the reich money.”

“No,” Judy said. “That won’t work. The reich money is dead. We killed it. Not on purpose, but we killed it.”

Sarah looked at her sister in shock. Judy was looking as grim as Sarah had ever seen her. “Judy, there has to be an answer.”

“I think I have an answer. . but all the Barbies will have to agree.” Susan took a deep breath. “And I do mean all the Barbies. Every investor in American Equipment Corp, here or back in the USE.”

“What?”

“We have to sell the Austro-Hungarian Empire BarbieCo.” Susan sounded sad.

“It won’t work,” Judy said. “It’s us, the Barbies, that they have faith in. If we sell Ferdinand III BarbieCo, who will trust Barbies? No, just like before, we will have to have skin in the game and everyone will have to know it.”

“We can accept payment in BarbieCo,” Sarah said.

“Sarah, I don’t want the Austrian economy to collapse, but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to let Ferdinand III turn BarbieCo into waste paper and pay me in that same waste paper.” Susan shook her head. “I won’t do it.”

“No. We will have to keep control,” Judy said, “and not just for Susan, but for everyone. If the people out there are going to have faith in our money, then it’s going to have to stay our money.” Judy had an abstracted air as she spoke. “Trudi, would you go ask Hayley what’s the fastest way to get a message to Grantville?”

“A steamboat up the Danube will reach Regensburg in three, maybe four, days. Then radio to Grantville.” Trudi knew that answer.

“Fine. Go tell Hayley to order a boat. We are going to offer a buyout of BarbieCo stock at ten percent over face value in silver. And, Trudi, when you tell Hayley, make sure that there are servants in the room.”

“No one is going to take ten percent,” Susan said. “Not in silver, not in Grantville.”

“I really don’t care. We’re offering it, so if they don’t take it, it’s their own look out.”

“What are you planning?” Sarah asked Judy.

“I’ll tell you once we get to the palace.”

“No, I don’t think so, Judy,” Sarah said. “Tell me now.”

“I haven’t got it all worked out, Sarah.” Judy grinned. “But basically, you. . well, you and the Barbies. . are going to become the national bank of the Austro-Hungarian empire.”

As it happened, Trudi was in the process of stepping out the door when Judy said that.

In the living room, where Hayley and Dana Fortney, Gayleen and Ron Sanderlin were waiting-along with half a dozen servants, merchants, and shopkeepers-there was a sudden and profound silence.

“Hayley,” Trudi said into that silence, “can you arrange the fastest boat possible to go up-river to Regensburg? We have some instructions for Heather Mason.” Trudi paused and looked around the room with a little grin on her face. “Oh, and can someone run tell the royal yacht to get up a head of steam? We’ll be going to the palace directly.”

The Hofburg Palace, Vienna

The Barbies made an entrance. Sarah and Judy were in the lead, heads together, apparently arguing. “No,” Judy said. “I think we should get Carinthia.”

“I don’t want Carinthia,” Sarah responded. “I swear, Judy, you’re getting downright medieval in your outlook. Besides, we’re doing this to save the economy, not to make you and your gang even richer.”

“I don’t mind saving them, Sarah,” Susan piped in from behind them, “but I expect to get paid.”

The doors to the council room opened just as Susan said this, and the young women filed into the room, still talking about the empire of Austria-Hungary as though it was a gown they were considering buying.

Once the girls were all in the room, Judy looked around. “Where’s the Ken Doll? We can’t do this without him. He’s going to have to agree.”

Then she turned to the emperor and curtsied very low. She made it both respectful and graceful. “Your Majesty, you called and we are here.” She looked around again. “I don’t doubt the faith or discretion of your servants, Your Majesty, but even the most loyal and trusted retainer may make a slip. And there will, I suspect, be things discussed that you will not wish the world at large to know. So I beg your indulgence, that we might discuss these matters with only your closest advisers present?”

* * *

Ferdinand III had been ready to explode at the casual lese majeste that the Barbies had displayed, and then that curtsey had stopped him. He looked at Judy Wendell von Up-time and found himself wondering how much of what he had just seen was theater. He looked around the room. It held more servants than advisers. Ferdinand made a gesture. Quickly, the servants left.

“So how much of that was real,” he asked, “and how much pageant?”

“Is there a difference?” Judy said more than asked. “Perception affects reality, which in turn affects perception. Sarah will tell you that the value of money is the end of some formula, and no doubt she’s right. . as far as that goes. But you and I know that the value of anything is the same as royal authority. It’s there if people think it’s there. Right now, today, the value of BarbieCo stock is tied up with the rank of the Barbies.” Judy waved at herself and the others. “You can destroy that with raw power, call in the guards, have us dragged out into the public square and executed. That will destroy the value of BarbieCo stock, and I don’t doubt that some of your advisers have been advising you to do just that.” She looked over at Gundaker. “But wiser heads have pointed out that destroying BarbieCo will not restore reich money. Some will see it as firm, but more will see it as desperate. So it will, on the whole, only weaken reich money still more.”

“And,” Vicky Emerson said, “it will offend your northern neighbors, making rapprochement and alliance more difficult. And leaving Austria-Hungary in much the position that Bavaria is in today. A worse position, actually. Bavaria has you between them and the Ottoman Empire whether you want to be or not. All you have is an open road.”

“No one is contemplating execution!” Ferdinand III said truthfully.

“Well, that’s good,” Judy Wendell said. “With execution off the table, all the lesser punishments are even worse options. They will be seen as even more desperate, without the advantage of decisiveness. They will hurt the reich money worse than the BarbieCo. Lock us up, and people will hold onto their BarbieCo all the harder for their uncertainty.”

“What do you suggest?”

“It’s been said that the Habsburgs would rather wage marriage than war. What we need to do is wed the BarbieCo stock to the reich money, to produce one trusted money. And for that you need the Barbies to have the status that we can produce. Sarah will examine your economy and its prospective growth and tell us all how much money Austria-Hungary can have in circulation. Then, you and I together will figure out how to present it so that it will be trusted.

“The first step to that will be to make the production of that money completely independent of the. .” There was a knock at the door.

“Come,” said Ferdinand.

The door opened and Karl Eusebius came in. He bowed and said, “I got word I was needed.”

“You did?”

“He’s the Ken Doll,” said Millicent.

“What, pray tell, is a Ken Doll?” Peter von Eisenberg asked.

“He stands around looking pretty and giving us money,” said Vicky Emerson.

“I am told that that is the natural function of men, Your Majesty,” Karl said with a slight smile.

“What a lovely notion,” said the empress of Austria-Hungary. “I quite approve.”

Ferdinand saw the expression on his wife’s face and felt a bit uncomfortable.

“My wife had a similar attitude,” Marton von Debrecen agreed. “But why the Ken Doll?”

“Well, you know that the Barbies were dolls made for little girls. There were several sorts of Barbies. Malibu Barbie, Princess Barbie, Doctor Barbie, Astronaut Barbie. . but there was just the one Ken doll. This occurs because the Barbies do things. The Ken Dolls, however, stand around looking pretty and giving us money,” Millicent explained.

Sarah groaned. “The dolls were designed for preteen girls, with a childish view of relationships. Which my little sister maintains, even though she should long since have outgrown it. In fact, Karl is a major investor in many of the projects of the Barbie Consortium and the largest single stockholder of common, ah, voting stock in BarbieCo. So if we are to make any changes, he will have to agree.”

“So again, the prince of House Liechtenstein holds the purse strings of the Empire,” said Marton von Debrecen. He didn’t sound overly pleased.

They talked, sent for food, talked some more, rested, got up, and talked some more. All the while, Vienna waited, and a steam boat made its way up the Danube.

Grantville Stock Exchange

It came up on the ticker, just like all the trades. BCPP + 10 % SLV A. The brokers on the floor could read it. BarbieCo Participating Preferred at ten percent over the face value in silver all comers. Anyone with BarbieCo PP could sell it. Ten haylies would bring you eleven Cologne marks of silver.

There was a rush, but it was a small one. It dried up almost before it began. By the end of the day, the Barbies had stabilized at forty-three American dollars to the judi, about eleven percent over the face value price. And the Barbies weren’t trading at all. Everyone who had one was holding onto it.

Heather Mason wasn’t on the floor. She had called in the offer to the Barbie Consortium’s broker. When he called her back at the end of the day, it was to inform her glumly that he hadn’t managed to get more than a few percent of the BarbieCo stock in Grantville.

“It’s okay, Jacob,” Heather said. “It was just Judy making sure that anyone who didn’t want to play could get out with their skin intact.”

“What’s the game?”

“I’m not sure. All the radio message said was that they were going all in.”

Heather heard Jacob swallow.

* * *

“Any way,” the radio operator in Grantville said to his friend, “the rumors in Regensburg are that the Barbies are buying Austria-Hungary.”

“That’s crazy.”

“Yeah? What else is new?”

* * *

Over the next several days, the price of BarbieCo stock went up. Everyone who wanted out had gotten out that first day, and quite a few hearty souls decided that they wanted to gamble.

The Hofburg Palace, Vienna

The Regensburg Weekly News printed the stock quotes from Grantville and Magdeburg that they got over the radio. It took three days for the steam barge carrying the latest price for BarbieCo Preferred to reach Vienna.

When it did, Ferdinand and the Barbies were still in conference.

* * *

“No.” Karl didn’t say it loudly nor particularly belligerently, but he did say it firmly. “I know that Sarah doesn’t care about rank. Prince or peasants, it’s all the same to her. But, much as I love her, I am not Sarah. I was willing for it to be a morganatic marriage, given the circumstances that held sway. But the circumstances have changed. You need her. Both Judy and Moses have pointed out that giving Sarah imperial rank would help this work. Yet Gundaker insists that she not receive that rank till after the marriage, and that any issue from the marriage be excluded from the family inheritance. I won’t have it.

“I will not consent to the merging of our stock into reich money unless Sarah is elevated now, and the marriage contract is adjusted to reflect her new rank as an imperial princess.”

There were no up-timers in the room. It was just Emperor Ferdinand, Gundaker, Maximilian and Karl.

Gundaker was pale. “She’s not Catholic.”

“Which Catholic? Urban’s or Borja’s?” Karl countered. “If our children decide to become Protestant of some sort, then the issue of their faith may be raised. But for now we don’t even have a single Catholic church.”

“Very well, Karl. I’ll bring up her elevation at the next general meeting. You’re probably right that it will make things easier. Come to think of it, we might as well elevate her sister as well. What about the rest of the Barbies?”

“If you elevate any of them, Your Majesty, I recommend you elevate Trudi von Bachmerin. If you just elevate the up-timers, the up-timer Barbies will have a fit.”

“By denomination, do you think?”

“No. The choice of denomination was almost random.”

Ferdinand waved a hand. “Fine. We will make them all imperial princesses. It will simplify things. Considering the rest of this arrangement, they are going to be among the richest young women in the empire anyway.”

Fortney House, Race Track City

“So, what’s the latest word?” Annemarie Eberle asked Dana Fortney. After her failure to realize that Hayley Fortney was the money behind the SFIC and the raking over the coals that she had gotten from Janos Drugeth, Annemarie had taken to simply asking questions. It worked surprisingly well.

“I don’t know. They have agreed to back the reich money, but they are still working out how it’s going to work. Last I heard, the barbies are going to be gradually pulled from circulation, replaced with a new kind of barbie that doesn’t provide interest but is legal tender for all debts in the Austro-Hungarian empire.”

“What about people that already have barbies?”

“I don’t know. I can’t see Hayley letting them do anything unfair, though, so don’t let it worry you.”

“I heard at the beauty shop that the Barbies are buying up BarbieCo stock for ten percent more than the face value in silver. At least in Grantville. Do you think we’ll be able to sell ours that way?”

“I would imagine so.”

“Do you think I should?”

“How should I know, Annemarie? Do I look like Susan Logsden?”

Annemarie set out the coffee service and left. But the question didn’t depart. It simply spread.

St. Stephen’s Cathedral, Vienna

“I warned you,” Father Lamormaini said, and took a certain satisfaction in Gundaker von Liechtenstein’s clenched jaw. It was as much Liechtenstein’s fault as anyone’s. He should have been fighting against the marriage from the beginning, but his greed had blinded him to the threat. Just as Urban’s greed for the up-timers’ tools must have blinded him. The wisdom of Cardinal Borja-the new and legitimate pope, rather-was now obvious to any who were not blind.

“The question is what can be done about it.”

“The infection must be burned out, root and branch.” It was the first time Lamormaini had said that-even in his own mind-but as the words came out, he knew they were true. Ferdinand III had betrayed father, state, and church in his desire for transitory advantage. “The crown of the Holy Roman Empire must be wrested away from this unholy traitor to the faith, else the Holy Roman Empire will decay into permanent separate states. That was Satan’s goal in bringing the Sphere of Fire. They weaken us and destroy the natural order so that Islam can conquer Europe and put an end to the true church, condemning all mankind to heresy and perdition. It will take planning, Prince Gundaker, planning and care. But it must be done, and God will understand.”

“I have given oaths-.”

“An oath to a heretic is no oath at all. Urban has fallen into heresy. He is followed into that heresy by the captain-general of my own order and by Ferdinand III, and the royal house in Austria.”

“Leopold?”

“I don’t know, but can we risk it? The infant is too young to have been infected. Given a proper upbringing, Ferdinand IV will be the emperor. But in the meantime he will need a strong regent and the Liechtenstein family, once it too is cleansed of the infection, will make the perfect bulwark for the infant emperor.” Lamormaini let his voice shift from reasonable to severe. “But to be made ready, House Liechtenstein must itself be purified. Karl Eusebius must be eliminated.”

Lamormaini hid a smile. That was what Gundaker wanted now, most of all. Making it his duty, giving him the excuse, would make him accept the rest.

The Hofburg Palace, Vienna

The room still had the same expensive wallpaper and furniture, and each night the staff had cleaned. But it was midafternoon, and the tables were covered with papers and dishes of half-eaten food. Coffee, beer, and wine servers were out, and no one’s finery was still in good repair. . except Judy’s.

There was a knock, and a servant came in with a note that was handed to Susan Logsden.

Susan read it and passed it to Judy, who passed it to Sarah, who passed it to Karl.

Karl read it.

People are asking if the offer to buy BarbieCo for silver at 10 % over face value in Grantville applies here? What do I say?

Gayleen Sanderlin

Karl looked over at Susan and said, “I think we have to, don’t we?”

“Yes. But in Grantville we can buy plenty of silver out of funds on hand. It will take a while to get the silver shipped, unless. .” Susan tuned to Moses. “Moses, how much can we borrow on BarbieCo assets in Grantville?”

“Excuse me, but what is in that message?” Gundaker asked.

Susan looked at Gundaker, but didn’t say anything.

“It’s a request for clarification, Uncle. When this all started, we sent Heather Mason instructions to buy up all the BarbieCo for silver at ten percent over face value.”

“Why?” asked Ferdinand III.

“To give people an out in case things blew up in our face,” Judy explained. “After we do that, those who don’t take us up on the offer have no complaint if it doesn’t work out.”

“And the clarification?” Ferdinand III asked.

“Gayleen Sanderlin is getting questions about whether that offer extends to people holding BarbieCo here.”

“And you feel you have to give them ten percent over the face value in silver?” Gundaker asked. “That’s insane!”

“No, Prince von Liechtenstein,” Sarah said. “That’s why barbies are considered better than reich money.”

“Let me get this straight. You are going to buy silver from my vaults, and pay it out at ten percent over the face value?”

“If we can borrow the reich money from Moses to do so, yes, Your Imperial Majesty,” said Susan Logsden. “If not, we’ll have to ship the silver in from Grantville.” Susan shrugged. “It will take a week or so.”

“Aren’t you going to run out of money?” Ferdinand III asked.

“No,” Sarah said. “Most people won’t take the buyout. It could be as high as fifty percent, but what we are really doing is setting the base.” She looked over at Moses. “Well?”

“One million reichsthaler. Will that be enough?”

Susan nodded, wrote out a note, which she handed to Judy. Judy read it, smiled, and handed it to Sarah, who handed it to Karl. Karl read.

Yes, we will buy. Take the barbies to the Abrabanel bank and get reich money, or wait a few days for silver. Make sure they understand that we won’t be accepting silver for BarbieCo at that rate. That they will have to pay us more to get BarbieCo. In fact, for now, we are not going to be accepting any amount of silver for BarbieCo stock.

Susan Logsden von Up-time

Karl snorted a laugh.

“May I see it?” Emperor Ferdinand asked.

Karl didn’t care, so he passed it over with a shrug.

Emperor read the note. He looked at Karl “This will work?”

“I’m betting my fortune that it will, yes, Your Imperial Majesty,” Karl said formally.

The emperor looked at Karl, then he looked at Sarah. Then he looked at each of the young women. Then he bent to the desk and wrote three notes of his own. When he had finished with the notes he called for his seal.

He looked around the room again. “I have spent too much time on this as it is. Gustav Adolf is incapacitated and may die or be rendered unfit to rule. But Poland is still at war with the USE, and as long as that is the case we can get aid from neither of them. Murad is marching on Baghdad, which is well and good so far as it goes, but Janos Drugeth thinks he will then make peace with the Safavids and come at us. Maximilian of Bavaria will sit in his mountains and watch the world burn. My cousin in Spain is supporting Borja. My cousin in the Netherlands is supporting Urban. And Austria-Hungary is an edifice whose mortar is made of silver, and there is not enough of it to hold the edifice. The only nations in Christendom that are in any position to send us aid are ruled by usurpers.”

The seal arrived and the emperor took it and stamped the three notes.

“May I see?” Karl asked. The emperor passed them over. The first was to the Imperial bank instructing them to accept BarbieCo at ten percent over face value in silver or paper reich money. The second was a note to Gayleen Sanderlin. Nothing special, it simply informed her that people who wanted to cash in their BarbieCo stock they could do so either at the Abrabanels or at the Imperial bank. The only interesting thing about it was that it had Ferdinand’s signature and the imperial seal on it. The third. .

The Barbie Consortium is hereby granted control over the issuing of money in the Austro-Hungarian Empire and responsibility for the valuation of all paper currency.

Ferdinand III, Emperor of Austria-Hungary

Karl felt his the blood draining from his face, and passed the note to Sarah, who passed it to Judy and the rest of the Barbies.

Ferdinand III turned to Count Peter von Eisenbach. “Make the deal.” Then he stood up and left the room.

The last note, which was an Imperial proclamation and had the force of law, was passed around the room. After reading it, Uncle Gundaker got up and left.

After everyone in the room had seen the notes, messengers were called, and were sent off to the appropriate locations. Along with another note Susan Logsden sent to Race Track City, to go to all the merchants: The Barbies are now in charge of the reich money, so it’s good now.