Chapter 10

Elizabeth felt numb again. She knew that there was no use in objecting to the arrangements that had been made. They had been turned away from two other inns already and it was perfectly obvious that the whole town would be the same. She allowed Hetherington to lift her to the ground and take her bag from the back of the curricle.

"You will take my arm and stay close beside me," he commanded. And because the inn yard was bustling with horses and ostlers and guests, she obeyed.

She pressed even closer to his side when they entered the inn and stepped straight into the public taproom. It was crowded and noisy. Men sat and stood and jostled one another in every inch of space, it seemed. Elizabeth lowered her eyes and allowed herself to be guided across the room to the staircase. Hetherington was not a tall or a broad man. But he had a certain presence and a charming smile that did not falter in such situations. A path opened for him as if by magic.

Hetherington led the way up the staircase and into a small, dark room that was wholly dominated by a large bed. A washstand, a table, and a chair filled most of the remaining space. Elizabeth felt herself flush with embarrassment. Although the noise from the taproom sounded almost as loud upstairs, they seemed very much alone together in the room. He set her bag down beside the washstand.

"This is quite intolerable," Elizabeth said in a strangled voice.

He looked at her. "I could not agree more, ma'am," he said coldly. "But if you expect me to play the gentleman and offer to stay downstairs tonight, you will be sadly disappointed. I must have a few hours of sleep if I am tl drive you home tomorrow."

Elizabeth walked to the low window opposite the fool of the bed and stared blindly out.

"If you can spare a blanket and a pillow," he continued. "I shall sleep quite comfortably on the floor."

She said nothing.

"I shall go downstairs now," he said. "Lock the door. You must on no account open it to anyone. There are too many revelers around tonight who are in their cups. I shall have the key to let myself in later. Go to bed, Elizabeth, and get some sleep. You have been under much strain today, and tomorrow will not be easy for you. You may rest easy. You have nothing to fear from me."

Elizabeth pressed her forehead against the windowpane and continued to stare out into the darkness. There was silence for a while and then she heard him leave the room and lock the door behind him. She closed her eyes. Robert, Robert, what happened to us? she wondered. But she would not stop to think. She had exhausted herself with memories that afternoon. She must prepare for bed now and climb beneath the covers before he returned. She could not risk being caught in the act of disrobing. In fact, she did not wish to face him in any guise that night.

She wasted several agonized minutes deciding whether to undress or not. Her clothing seemed to offer some measure of defense. Yet her gray cotton dress would be hopelessly creased if she slept in it. And if she removed it to sleep in her chemise, she might as well change into the one nightgown she had brought with her. She undressed hastily, waiting until she was in the relative safety of the nightgown before washing herself at the washbasin.

Then she dithered over another problem. Should she leave her hair as it was, in its tight knot at her neck, or should she brush it out as she usually did at night? There was only one sensible choice, of course. The heavy knot would be uncomfortable to lie on and would look silly too, she supposed. She quickly removed the pins and brushed her thick chestnut hair until it crackled.

Finally she pulled one of the two blankets from the bed and one of the pillows. She tossed them onto the floor and climbed into the bed in panic. He might be back at any moment. But she soon forced herself back onto the floor. The candle was out of reach on the washstand. She did not want that to be burning when Hetherington returned. And if he was to move in the darkness, it would be unkind to leave his bedding in a heap on the floor. He would be dreadfully uncomfortable.

She looked around her and then removed her gray cloak from the hook on the door. She spread it on the floor with his own greatcoat on top of it. She laid the blanket on top and turned down one corner. She plumped up the lumpy pillow as best she could and put it in place. Kneeling back on her heels to view the overall effect, Elizabeth suddenly had a mental picture of Hetherington lying there, and the image sent her scurrying to blow out the candle and climb back into the bed and beneath the covers. She pulled the single blanket up around her ears even though the room was not cold.

Falling asleep was another matter altogether. She found herself constantly listening for footsteps in the passageway outside. There was much traffic to and fro, but the footsteps always passed the door. And the noise from below was incessant. She might as well have taken her bedding into the middle of the taproom and tried to sleep there, Elizabeth thought wryly as she tried to ignore shouts and singing and cups banging over the loud hum of masculine voices.

Then she started to think about Jeremy. She had seen the child only once, at his christening, but she felt as if she knew him very well. John's letters were always full of descriptions of the youngster and bulletins of his progress. She could almost picture the child with his sturdy build and the blond curls that he had inherited from Louise. Both parents obviously doted on their son. John would be devastated if anything happened to him, and goodnes* only knew what the shock might do to Louise in her condition. Elizabeth prayed that the child would recover She prayed that whatever happened she would have the strength to offer both her brother and his wife the help they needed. Her own problems paled in comparison to what they might be facing.

She stiffened suddenly. She had hardly heard that set of footsteps approach and they had stopped outside her door. As she held her breath, she heard the key turn in the lock and then she was aware of light through her closed eyelids.

Hetherington stood there for a while before blowing out his candle, coming inside the room, and closing the door softly. Elizabeth lay rigid, almost afraid to breathe, listening to him set down the candlestick and remove some of his ciothing. Then she heard him lie down and move around until he was comfortable.

There was total silence in the room. Elizabeth found that every nerve in her body was tense. She was afraid to move, afraid to breathe even, in case he would know that she was awake. His own stillness made her wonder if he too lay awake or if the fatigue of the day had sent him instantly to sleep. She resigned herself to a sleepless night, tried to calculate how long it would be before the dawn would come.

---

"No," she was saying. "No, it cannot be true. I shan't believe it."

"I am sorry, Lizzie," her father said, his voice unusually sympathetic. "It is over. You will have to face the fact. The man is a scoundrel."

"No," she wailed, rocking herself back and forth in her chair. "No, please. I must go to him. I have to see him."

"He will not see you," her father said. "He has refused. You cannot keep on clinging to hope, Lizzie. He does not want you any longer."

"No," she moaned. "I won't believe it. I can't. I have to see him. I have to. Oh, please, please."

John was kneeling in front of her, his hands warmly covering hers over her face.

"Hush, Elizabeth," he was saying, "it will be all right."

"No, it will not," she wailed. "It will never be all right."

"Hush, darling, hush," he whispered. "Oh, don't cry. All will be well. I shall be with you."

"No," she said. "No."

He drew her to him and held her head against his shoulder. His fingers stroked through her hair.

"John, I have to see him," she said against his neck. "I must go immediately."

"Hush, love," he said, "I shall take you to him tomorrow."

And she was tired of the pain, tired of bearing her grief alone. She surrendered to the comfort of her brother's strong arms. She allowed him to rock her in his arms, to lay his cheek against hers, and kiss her temple. She allowed herself to be comforted by the soothing words he murmured the whole time. She felt the whole burden of her agony slipping away.

---

A needle of light was shining through a chink in the curtains and directly onto Elizabeth's face. She was aware of it and knew instantly where she was. But she did not want to wake up yet. She was too warm and too comfortable. She shifted her position to escape the sunbeam and to burrow more deeply into the warmth.

But sleep was receding. Her mind was reaching back into memory for the source of the smell that now teased her nostrils, a musky cologne that she had not been in contact with for a long time. She could almost smell the salt of the ocean that seemed to be associated with it, could almost hear the sound of sea gulls crying in the early morning. She had a vivid recollection of warm lips on hers and a tongue that teased them apart and probed into her mouth.

She opened her eyes. Her head was resting in the hollow between Hetherington's shoulder and neck. His arm was around her, clasping the arm that was thrown across his naked chest. Although she could not see his face without tipping back her head, she could tell by his even breathing that he was sleeping. She lay paralyzed for a moment, then pushed in panic at his chest and pulled herself into a kneeling position beside him on the bed.

"What are you doing here?" she cried. "What has happened?"

His eyes were open now, though he did not move except to clasp his hands behind his head. "What do you imagine has happened, Elizabeth?" he asked. "Do you believe you have been ravished?"

"You were to sleep on the floor," she accused. "You are not to be trusted, my lord."

"Before you have a fit of the vapors," he said, "may I point out that I am lying on top of your blanket and beneath my own." He turned back the blanket that was covering him to prove the truth of what he said. "And you will also observe, if you have courage enough to look, that I am fully clothed from the waist down. Don't worry, my love, your virtue is quite intact."

She had grown to hate that sneer in his voice. "This is no joking matter," she hissed. "Get out of here immediately."

"Shirtless and bootless?" he asked, not moving. "I fear the landlady would be scandalized."

"Get out!" she shrieked, and she scrambled off the bed, grabbed his shirt, and flung it at him, then proceeded to do the same with his boots, one at a time.

"Stop this, you little wildcat," he commanded, suddenly serious. He too had leapt from the bed; he grabbed her now by the wrists as she was about to pick up his bag. "Do you wish the whole inn to believe that we are having a lovers' spat?"

She struggled against him, but his grip only tightened.

"What was I to do when you were having nightmares?" he asked. Elizabeth went limp suddenly and stared into his eyes. "You were dreaming about your nephew, wanting to go to him at once. You were crying and moaning enough to attract attention. When I came to wake you up, you thought I was your brother. The thought seemed to comfort you."

Elizabeth pulled her wrists from his loosened grip and crossed to the window. She pulled back the curtains and stared down into the yard, where ostlers were already busy grooming horses.

"I shall wash and shave and be out of here in five minutes," Hetherington said. "You can be sure then that I shall not give in to my animal instincts when you strip off that very appealing nightgown. It certainly enhances your maiden-aunt image."

She stood where she was, and not another word was exchanged until he left the room.

"I shall have breakfast sent up to you," he said. "Be ready to leave in half an hour's time."

---

It was well past the noon hour when the curricle drew to a stop outside her brother's home. Elizabeth was so stiff and sore that she hardly knew how to get down. Hetherington solved her problem by striding around to her side of the vehicle and lifting her to the ground with strong hands. He held to her waist for a moment.

"Are you all right?" he asked. They were the first words he had spoken since they had stopped to change horses several hours before.

"I shall be in a moment," she replied. "You need not concern yourself."

At that moment the front doors opened abruptly and John came out. Brother and sister glanced at each other anxiously and rushed into each other's arms. He held her in a bruising hug.

"You have come," he said. "Thank God! I knew you would."

She drew back and took in his disheveled appearance, bloodshot eyes, and several days' growth of beard.

"Jeremy?" she asked, the name almost sticking in her throat.

"The same," he said abruptly. "The fever has not broken. He is very weak, Elizabeth."

He looked past her to see who had accompanied her. "Good God," he said, "Hetherington!"

"You have the advantage of me," Hetherington answered coolly, extending his right hand. "But I assume you are John Rossiter."

John did not accept the hand. "What are you doing with my sister?" he asked tightly.

"He was staying at Ferndale, which is but three miles from Mr. Rowe's house," Elizabeth explained hastily. "He happened to be visiting yesterday afternoon when I read your letter and kindly offered to bring me home."

John grudgingly shook the hand that was still extended to him. "For that courtesy I thank you, Hetherington," he said.

"I came to offer my wife my protection," Hetherington said, "not to do anyone a courtesy."

"You are several years out of date," John retorted. "Elizabeth is no longer your wife, Hetherington. I shall protect her now."

Hetherington raised his eyebrows but said nothing.

"Papa did not tell you, then, that he had told me an untruth?" Elizabeth asked, and when John looked inquiringly at her, she added, "There was no divorce, John."

Her brother clenched his fists and glared with hostility at his brother-in-law. "Come inside," he said, taking Elizabeth's arm. "Louise is with Jeremy. I will not permit her to sit with him at night because she is not strong. I fear what this will do to her and the unborn child. Come, shall have some luncheon prepared for you."

"Is there anything I can do?" Elizabeth asked.

"After you have eaten and rested," he said firmly. "You have had a long journey, and by curricle, too." He led them into the house and straight to the dining room. What are your plans, Hetherington?" he asked. "Are you going to start back today?"

"No," Hetherington answered steadily. "I shall stay to offer Elizabeth my support as long as there is a crisis in the family. And thank you for the invitation, Rossiter."

---

Elizabeth was indeed thankful to shut the door of her old bedroom behind her, to slip off her dress, and to lie down on top of the bedcovers. After luncheon, which had been a strained occasion, Hetherington had disappeared and John had taken her up to the nursery where Jeremy lay, a flushed and pathetic little bundle lying in his cradle. He had been like this for three days, John explained in a whisper, hot, dry, and delirious. His face had lost some of its baby chubbiness. His blond hair had been clipped very short.

Seeing her sister-in-law, Louise tiptoed out of the room, leaving the nurse to watch her baby.

"Elizabeth, how good of you to come," she said. "You must have come on wings."

"Not quite," Elizabeth replied, "but I left immediately after I read John's letter. I shall help you watch, Louise. You must force yourself to rest. And John, too, looks as if he is sleeping on his feet."

"He has been up for four nights," Louise said, "and will hardly sleep in the daytime."

"Then it is settled that I shall sit with Jeremy tonight," Elizabeth said firmly.

Soon she let Louise go back into the nursery and persuaded John to retire to his room for a rest. Only then did she go to her own room.

But she could not sleep. She kept seeing the baby clinging restlessly and feverishly to life. And she kept seeing the strain and exhaustion on the faces of her brother and sister-in-law. It was bad enough for her to contemplate the death of a nephew whom she had seen only once before today. How must it feel for them, who had given him life and cuddled and watched him daily grow into an energetic toddler? It would be like losing part of one's own life. There had been a span of a few weeks once when she had hoped and hoped that she was with child. She had been so full of pain and emptiness in the loss of her husband. She had wished painfully for his child so that something of their two days together would survive. When she knew for certain that it was not so, she had felt almost as if she had lost a child. But that had been trivial-nonsense, in fact-when compared to the very real experience that John and Louise were going through.

She tried to block out thought and will herself to sleep. She could help John and his family best, not by worrying about them, but by maintaining her own strength so that she could relieve them of some of the burden of watching. But thoughts of the night before intruded, and she could not shake them off. She tried desperately to remember that dream. Usually she woke up in the middle of it and could recall vividly what had happened. But on this occasion she had not woken up. What had she said? She hoped nothing that would be humiliating. But no. He had said this morning that she had been dreaming about Jeremy. Whatever she had said had been ambiguous enough for him to misunderstand.

What had he said to her? She wished that she could remember. He said she thought he was John. What usually happened when John was part of the dream? He always talked to her, held her, soothed her. That was what must have happened. Hetherington had taken her into his arms and she had thought he was John. She must have felt very comforted to have let go of the dream without waking up. She recalled how very comfortable she had been when she woke up that morning. It had felt so good, so right, to be lying relaxed in Hetherington's arms.

She could not recapture her fury of the morning. The experience was one pleasant little memory to cling to. She turned over onto her side, eyes closed, and tried to recapture the feeling she had had that morning. She inhaled, trying to imagine the distinctive scent of his cologne. A tear escaped from her closed eyelids.

His father could not have found a more effective way of breaking up his son's unwelcome romance. After that second night of love, they had had one glorious morning left. Not knowing how soon fate was to separate them, they had eaten a leisurely breakfast, strolled along the beach, and wandered back to the house for luncheon. They had reached their room afterward. Robert was going to make love to her again before they went riding along the cliffs. He had already helped her undo the long row of tiny buttons down the back of her dress. He had removed his neckcloth and was unbuttoning his shirt cuffs, gazing through the window as he did so.

"There is someone riding toward the house," he had said. "In a hurry, too."

She had rushed to his side. They had been expecting someone. Both had written to their fathers after the wedding ceremony to inform them of the fact and to tell where they were. They had guessed that today or tomorrow would bring some message.

Robert had smiled ruefully across at her as he rebuttoned the cuff that he had just undone. "I could have wished him to have better timing, whoever he is," he had said. "Turn around, love, and let me tackle those buttons again."

He had trailed kisses up her spine as he closed the opening of her dress. Then he had turned her to him again and drawn her close. "If it is someone from your father," he had said, "do not be afraid. I am your husband now. He has no power over you."

She had smiled rather tensely and they had descended the staircase together, hand in hand. The messenger had been directed to a downstairs salon. Robert had recognized him immediately as his uncle's head groom. The man, still disheveled and covered with dust, had handed Robert a letter and regarded him uneasily.

After sending the man to the kitchen for refreshments, Robert had opened the letter and read, while Elizabeth watched him anxiously. He had stopped reading and folded the letter very deliberately.

"What is it?" Elizabeth had asked anxiously.

It took him a while to answer. "My father and my brother have been killed," he had said.

"Oh! How?"

"In some absurd and freak boating accident at a regatta," he had replied.

She had grabbed his arm as his face turned pale.

"I shall have to leave for London immediately," he had said.

"Yes, yes," she had agreed. "I shall pack and order out the traveling carriage."

"No!" he had said sharply. "I must go alone, Elizabeth, It is imperative that I get there as quickly as possible. I must ride."

"I can come with you," she had protested.

"No, love. You know you do not ride well. If you are with me, I shall feel obliged to stop for meals and for sleep. Please believe me, darling, it will break my heart in two to leave you here. But I cannot take you. I must go quickly. Please understand."

Agonized blue eyes searched hers. She felt cold, almost faint. "Yes, you are right," she had whispered.

"I shall write to Gram before I leave," he had said. "She will be back here with you by tonight or tomorrow at the latest. In the meantime, you will be quite safe with Mrs. Cummings. It will be a comfort to me to know that."

He had left the room then, spoken briefly with the butler, and taken the stairs three at a time. She had trailed him numbly and packed a small bag for him while he changed his clothes and wrote to his grandmother. His horse was waiting for him, ready saddled, when they came downstairs together.

He had taken Elizabeth into his arms and held her very close to him. "I love you," he had said against her hair, "and I shall come for you just as soon as I may. Within the week. You must stay here, do you understand me, Elizabeth? Do not try to follow me."

She had nodded and hidden her face against his neck. She had not trusted her voice. She did not want to shame herself by crying.

He had placed a hand beneath her chin, raised her face, and kissed her deeply there in front of the butler and the groom who was holding his horse. Both pretended not to notice.

"Have a safe journey," she had whispered. "I love you."

He had vaulted into the saddle and ridden down the driveway away from the sea and the cliffs, and away from her, without a backward glance. She had watched him, an ache in her heart, until a line of trees finally hid him from view. And that was the last she had seen of Robert Denning, Marquess of Hetherington, until he had walked into Mrs. Rowe's drawing room a few weeks before.

The old marquess had certainly had his revenge. Had he not chosen that moment in which to die, and had he not taken his older son along with him, Robert might never have changed, might never have considered that she was not a worthy wife for him. Or would his underlying snobbery have surfaced at some time anyway, under different circumstances?

Elizabeth gave up trying to sleep and consequently drifted into unconsciousness almost immediately.

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