A Clean Kill

Twenty-five

Leah was waiting on the street in front of the Perkins house when Lynn headed back from First Avenue. Sitting on the curb between parked cars, she was wearing slippers and a fringed shawl. Lynn tilted her head, uneasy at seeing her there looking like some weird hippie without a home. The dogs raced toward her, but Lynn held back on their leashes. "What's - going on? What are you doing here?" she said anxiously when she got close enough to speak.

"I couldn't sleep. I thought I'd come over, but you weren't there," Leah accused.

Lynn tilted her head. "Get up. Don't you know the dogs do their business down there?"

"Where were you?" Leah stood up and brushed off her jeans.

"Walking the dogs. Roxie had to go out." Lynn glanced toward the kitchen door. "You didn't go in there, did you?"

Leah chewed on her bottom lip. "She really freaked out when she saw me. She started yelling at me."

"Well, I'm not surprised. First of all, you can't just walk into someone else's house totally unannounced. Also, have you taken a look at yourself this morning?" Lynn shook her head. "What's with the bracelets?"

Leah pulled her sweatshirt down over her wrist to hide them.

"Let me see them."

Leah backed away. "Don't crowd me. I didn't do anything. I was just looking for you." .

"You're not my shadow. You're not supposed to go in there when I'm not there. That's a big one, Leah. You could get me fired!"

"Well, it's not my fault you weren't there. I could punch you for that." She took a boxer's stance.

"Oh, great. Act loony tunes. That will really help." Lynn stepped away. Sometimes she just didn't get Leah. "Check yourself. You can't act crazy."

"She was going to hit me in front of the girls. She was scary."

"Look who's talking about scary. Go home," Lynn said, disgusted. "I'll take care of this."

"Don't tell Jo Ellen. You know how she is."

Lynn turned her back on the girl. "You always get me in trouble," she muttered. She twisted the leash around her wrist. "I'm pissed off. I really am. Don't come back today. I have things to do. Just beat it. You're too much trouble."

"Please, Lynn, I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I'm not trouble."

"I'm not talking to you." Lynn didn't care if Leah cried all day. She'd had it with hysterics. Then she girded herself for an attack from Alison— another nutcase. Her life wasn't easy. She didn't look back at her shadow as she entered the house through the street-level entrance.

As soon as she got into the kitchen, where the two little girls were still at the breakfast table, playing with their food and watching TV, Alison let loose. "Where were you?" she snapped angrily.

"The dogs were crying. I took them out," Lynn told her.

"For an hour? You took them out for an hour?" Alison's voice was shrill but a little slow.

"I'm sorry. I guess I lost track of the time." Lynn unhooked the leashes and let the dogs rush their mistress. "Girls, are you ready to go?" She wanted to act normal for them.

Alison patted the dogs as the children bolted from the table to get their things. No matter what the season, they had a routine. They went to a little day school not far away, and they liked it. If it wasn't raining, Lynn would walk them over. She started to follow them up the stairs to their rooms to get their backpacks. Alison didn't look good, so she didn't want to talk to her, but Alison had other ideas.

"You left the door open. Leah came into the house. That's not acceptable."

"I'm sorry."

"She came into this house. You're done."

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again," Lynn said.

"You're damn right it won't happen again. This is the end. This is it. You girls are a menace. I've had it with all of you. I don't want any of you in the house again. Take the babies to school and get out of here." She ranted on until she ran out of speed, then lurched out of the kitchen. Lynn wasn't expected to defend herself, and she certainly wasn't going to plead for her job under these circumstances. The Wilsons needed her more than she needed them. She'd been called a menace before, but it didn't mean a lot. She went up to the fourth floor to get the girls dressed in their little pink jackets.

"Want to say good-bye to Mommy?" she asked.

"Yea, yea, " Jessica said.

"Yea, yea," repeated her little sister.

"Okay, let's go find her."

No one had any doubts about where she was. They went down one flight of stairs to Alison's bedroom. The girls rushed into the room, while Lynn stayed outside the door. They did their good-bye thing for a few moments. Then the girls ran out, and Alison called to her. "Come in here, Lynn."

Lynn went into the room and was not surprised to find the usual mess. Alison's clothes and shoes from the night before were scattered about. Andrew's boxer shorts and socks were discarded on the floor beside the bed. There was a empty wineglass on the bedside table, and the pillows and bedding were in disarray.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly.

Alison had the dogs on the bed with her. "I feel terrible. I have the flu," she said.

"You want me to get you something at the store?"

"It's too bad, but you've left me no choice in the matter. There's nothing I can do about it."

"Let's not talk about it now," Lynn said softly.

"You can't stay here any longer. I put up with it as long as I could. You'll have to go." Alison's eyes closed, then opened halfway. She was having trouble staying awake.

"Okay," Lynn said. She could tell her boss was already into it. Alison must have come upstairs to take a pill. Remy had warned Lynn that this was coming, and Leah's walking in this morning gave Alison the excuse she needed. But the Perkins family had gone through so many nannies they had a reputation. Lynn knew that she'd put up with the yelling longer than anyone else, and she'd provided stability for Jessica and Jill. Still, she couldn't help worrying about what Jo Ellen would say.

Alison's hand flopped on her wrist. "That's it. That's all she wrote."

"Okay," Lynn said automatically. She wasn't going to argue with Alison when she was like this. Half the time she didn't know what she was doing anyway. Even if she meant to fire Lynn now, there was a good chance that she wouldn't remember it later. In any case, Lynn was afraid to take her at her word. She hesitated. "The girls are waiting. Are you going to take them?" she asked.

Alison's eyelids drooped. "You take them. I'm just going to nap for a few minutes. You can pack up when you get back."

"Are you sure?" This wasn't right. The last time she'd been fired, the mother had said, "Get out now." Rational people didn't fire nannies, then tell them to take their kids to school so they could sleep off their hangover.

Alison didn't answer, though, so Lynn had no choice. She had to take the children to a place where they would be safe. She muttered to herself as she left with them. Alison's an alcoholic. Remy's acting stupid. Everybody's crazy. They all push me around. I have no power to fix things. Damn, she was- stuck in a mess again. Her chest felt too tight, the way it did whenever she was treated unfairly.

Soon she was hurrying down the street, pushing the stroller because Jill still refused to walk. For once, Jessica didn't complain about going too fast. Both girls seemed to sense that something was up and were unusually quiet. Lynn dropped them off with the other kids and didn't stay a second longer than she had to. She knew that she would not be seeing Remy there today. Remy had told her that the boys' grandmother was flying in to be with them. She folded the stroller and left it for the return trip. Then, as she always did after taking the kids to school, she walked up to Barnes & Noble in the Citicorp building and sat in the Starbucks, sipping a latte and turning the pages of her favorite tabloids.