A Coffin For Two

29

‘Four weeks on Saturday.’

No ‘hello’. No ‘how are you?’ No such pleasantries. The phone rang, I picked it up and that was all the voice at the other end had to say.

‘Dad?’

‘Who else?’ came the cheerful growl.

‘Aye, right, but what was that you said?’

‘Is this a bad line or something? I said, “Four weeks on Saturday.” This Saturday coming that is. Eleven-thirty, St Andrews Registry Office, lunch at the Peat Inn thereafter for the principals and families.’

I was aware that my mouth had fallen open. ‘For fuck’s sake, Dad. I liked it better when you were predictable. Whatever happened to, “Round about Christmas”?’

‘Change of plan.’

‘Christ, Auntie Mary isn’t … Is she?’

‘Cheeky bastard,’ It was half growl, half laugh. ‘The fact is, your sister’s got a permanent teaching job in that private girls’ school, what’s its name, in St Andrews. She got the word on Monday afternoon. It’s only fifteen minutes’ drive away, so, with Jonathan settled in at the primary here, and wee Colin at nursery, it seems daft for her to be looking for a flat, when she can stay on where she is. D’you agree with that?’

‘Completely.’

‘That’s good. It’s all cut and dried anyway, but I thought I’d go through the motions of consulting you. The upshot of it all is that the way is clear for Mary and me to tie the knot, and for me to move into her house on a permanent basis. So.’ He paused and took a deep breath. ‘Four weeks on Saturday.’

‘That’s a deal. We’ll be there, don’t worry. I take it that Auntie Mary’s told Jan.’

‘Of course,’ said my dad. ‘It all came together when she was here on Monday evening. Breaking her news to us.’ He hesitated again, then, dropping his voice as if he was afraid he was within someone’s earshot, he asked, ‘Are you alone there?’

I nodded, as if he could see me. ‘Yeah. Prim’s gone shopping.’

‘Right. That was quite a surprise, Jan’s visit. Is there anything going on that Mary and I should know about?’

I tried to sound as incredulous as I could. ‘Eh? What do mean, for God’s sake?’

‘Don’t come the funny man with me, son. Jan, having dropped you off at the airport, comes home especially to tell us that she’s been split up from Ms Turkel for the last couple of months, and that she’s living at your place. We know that you stayed there on Sunday night; then Jan turns up wearing a new piece of gold, and looking like two million dollars. What d’you expect Mary and I to make of that?’

I tried a touch of bluster. ‘Aw come on, Dad, how long have Jan and I known each other?’

‘Aw come on, nothing. You’re not playing games with the lass, are you? Or with Primavera for that matter?’

‘No, Dad,’ I said. I had never been able to bullshit Mac the Dentist. ‘No games. It’s just that I thought that everyone had settled down to live happily ever after, me included. Now the whole board game’s up in the air.’

‘Well, just you get it back on the table, son, and you remember this. People are not chess pieces.’

‘I know that. I’m a people myself, remember. Last Sunday was a total surprise to me too. I had no hint that Jan was on her own again. And I’ll grant you it’s set me on my heels. Until then I was as happy as Larry, not a cloud in the sky. Why, last week I asked Prim to marry me, again. She said, “Fine, No rush. Let’s wait a while.” Now …’

‘Aye,’ said my dad. ‘What about now?’

‘Well, it isn’t that I don’t love Prim any more, that’s for sure. And I’ve never thought of her as just another live-in. It’s just that getting together with Jan last weekend … it wasn’t like before. We’re both older, and wiser for a start.’

‘You’re both grown up at last, you mean.’

‘I suppose so. All that time she was with Noosh, I thought, “Fair enough, as long as she’s happy.” Anyway, she wasn’t completely gone, if you know what I mean.’

‘I know,’ he rumbled. ‘She told us that too.’

‘Aye, okay. You could say that we were just using each other all that time. I don’t know. What I do know is that we were always there for each other, up to a point, without ever asking ourselves any serious questions. When we were kids, Jan and I never discussed “us”, quote unquote, you know. We just were. We didn’t need to keep telling each other, “I love you.” We knew it anyway.

‘I still love Jan and she loves me, but she’s got her life sorted out now. It could be that I won’t fit into it. And like I said earlier, I still love Prim and we’ve got out lives sorted …’

‘Except…’ said my dad.

‘Last week, if you’d asked me I’d have said I knew exactly what I wanted. I’ve got to work that out afresh, and make a commitment to it, without any guarantees that I’ll get it.’

He was silent, but I sensed something. It was a long time since my dad had been worried about me, and it didn’t make me feel good. ‘Can I take it that you haven’t told Prim everything about last weekend?’

‘You can take it.’

‘Then isn’t it time you set out the whole board game for her?’ he said.

There was undeniable truth in that, yet … ‘I should. But we’re involved in a bit of business that’s taking up most of our attention. Plus … ahh, bloody hell, I just don’t know what to do!’

‘There’s nothing new about that, son,’ said wise old Mac. ‘But at least now you care. Listen,’ he continued, ‘I think you have to put a time-frame on this. You’re coming back for our wedding in four weeks. You’ll have to sort yourself out by then. If Jan’s the one for you, Prim deserves to be told. If what you have is what you really want, then you have to make that clear to Jan. I’m speaking as a potential step-father here, you understand, as well as your old man.’

A great wedge of truth hit me. ‘I feel I should know the answer now, Dad,’ I said, spontaneously. ‘It’s in there somewhere … and the reason for it. Like Jan said, what I want is one thing. But I have to work out why I want it, too … and that’s the bugger.’