A Grave Denied

Monday, May 5

It’s late, almost midnight here at the mine camp. I let the fire burn low so it’s just coals. The stars are out but very faint. Pretty soon, with the sun up all the time, I won’t be able to see them at all.

Van’s asleep across the fire from me, all curled up in her sleeping bag. I wonder what the deal with her folks is. They don’t seem to worry about her a lot, she pretty much comes and goes like she wants. They’re some sort of cousins of her parents, I think. She doesn’t talk about her real parents at all. I asked her where they were and she said they were dead and that’s it. I asked her where she lived before the Park and she said Outside and that was that. I like her, though. Maybe because she doesn’t talk much. She’s different from other girls that way. Except for Kate.

There was a rustle in the bushes a little bit ago and Mutt went off to check it out. She came back without any feathers or fur around her mouth, so I guess whatever it was got away. I saw a bear this evening, a brown, I think. Its skin was all loose, like it hadn’t eaten in a while, but the fur was really long and shiny. I think it was a sow although I didn’t get a close look. I didn’t see any cubs. She was eating horsetail. Ick. Kate told me bears will eat anything when they first wake up from hibernation, they’re hungry and there’s no salmon up the creeks or any berries on the bushes yet. Dad told me he shot a bear once that had an unopened can of tuna fish in its gut. And Ruthe told me that male bears will eat bear cubs if the female bear isn’t watching. I guess protein is protein. Ruthe told me bears are different in different places in Alaska. Like salmon don’t get all the way up the rivers and creeks in Denali Park and so the bears there eat mostly plants, with every now and then a marmot to supplement the fat they need. Plus maybe an occasional tourist, Ruthe said, although I think she was joking. I think.

I wonder what it’s like to sleep a winter away. I wonder if you dream when you do. If I was still stuck in Arizona with Gram, I wouldn’t mind sleeping the year away.

I won’t go back. I don’t care what anyone does or says. I won’t go back.

I didn’t tell Kate about the bear.

She didn’t make me go back with her. She wasn’t mad, either. Instead we talked about how the dead guy got in the glacier. She went all over the Park today talking to people about him.

I like the way she talked to me, like I was a grown-up, too. I almost am.

Kate’s thirty-five. Twenty-one years older than me. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like that much.