CHAPTER SEVEN

December 24th

Monday, Christmas Eve, dawned clear and dry, and, with the wind dropped, felt slightly warmer. Rowan left Penny to the tender mercies of Lady Rolesby and went to get dressed for a walk. Penny's godmother had decided that all that was required to convince Lord Danescroft of Penny's eligibility was to hear her play the piano and sing and, with only one day to practise, had borne her off to the music room.

There was nothing Rowan could do to help-Penny played well enough, if rather stiffly, and her singing voice was sweet, but never raised above a terrified whisper in company. She normally made herself highly popular by volunteering as an accompanist to more confident singers or by playing at small dancing parties. A recital by her would only captivate Lord Danescroft if she was sitting on his lap so he might hear it.

Smiling at that improbable image, Rowan picked her way down the rutted lane to the hamlet of Tollesbury Parva, where the biggest building was the Lion and Unicorn, a coaching inn on the toll road. Many of the guests had left their carriages, horses and grooms there, to relieve the pressure on the big house. When they had set out on the journey Penny had left with her dresser, Kate Jessop, in the family carriage. A few miles along the road, well clear of her stepmother's beady gaze, they had been joined by Rowan in her hired chaise with Alice Loveday and all her trunks.

The dressers, the Maylins' coachman and the groom were now ensconced in three rooms in the inn with Rowan's luggage, looking forward to several days' holiday from their usual duties with all the activity of the inn for entertainment.

The four were sitting in the bigger chamber, playing cards with a pile of broken spills for stakes, when Rowan walked in. The men effaced themselves while Kate and Alice swept the cards off the table and pulled the bell for tea.

In answer to Rowan's concerned questions they were adamant that they were comfortable and happy, but were much more eager to talk about Penny and Rowan than their own situation.

'How are you getting on, my lady?'

'Well enough, Alice. I haven't disgraced your teaching yet I don't think, and Miss Penelope is very patient. But I've brought you this-Miss Penelope's organza. I can't seem to get the wine stain out-and I need something to wear for the Servants' Ball tomorrow.'

Kate tutted over the mark and bustled off downstairs to borrow something from the kitchens that she swore was a sovereign remedy, while Alice dragged out trunks and threw back the lids.

'How about your second-best cream silk?'

'Too fancy, don't you think?' Rowan eyed the thick lace trimming doubtfully.

'Probably. And there isn't time to get a plainer lace to fit this deep vee neck.' Alice folded it back and dug deeper. 'Here! There's the bronze-green silk that has that stain near the hem we can't identify and nothing will shift. It isn't terribly obvious, and it could well be the sort of thing a mistress would pass on to a dresser.'

'Excellent. And the brown kid slippers, because I wouldn't be able to afford the ones we had made to match it, and the cream kid gloves that have been cleaned a lot. Miss Penelope can help with my hair.'

Alice began to sort out the linen needed to go under the gown while Rowan rummaged in the box containing her simpler jewellery. 'This comb, the amber ear drops and this lace-trimmed handkerchief. Perfect.'

Warmed by the tea, and the knowledge that their staff were happily settled, Rowan pulled her scarf up over her nose and trudged off, basket over her arm.

'Hello. Have you sneaked out for a mug of huckle my buff?'

Rowan jumped, dropped the basket and made a wild grab at the handle before the contents fell out on the ground. 'A what? Look what you have made me do, Lucas.'

'Hot beer, egg and brandy,' he explained, removing the basket from her grasp and hooking it over his arm.

'Certainly not. It sounds disgusting. Although I assume that is why you are here. Miss Maylin's groom and carriage are at the inn and I came down to get some things that had been left by mistake.'

'I haven't touched a drop. Smell my breath.' He leaned invitingly close. Rowan pursed her lips and resisted the temptation to meet his. 'See-no spirits. I came to check on my…on Lord Danescroft's horses and grooms and to get some fresh air.'

'I can manage the basket.' Rowan eyed him uneasily. She had half convinced herself in the course of a decidedly restless night that it was only the novelty of such unchaperoned freedom that was making her lightheaded enough to flirt with Lucas, and that if she avoided him she would soon feel her old self again.

'I am going back. It is too heavy for you.' He set off up the lane, leaving Rowan glaring at his retreating back. She picked up her skirts and ran to catch him up.

'You are bossy.'

'So are you.'

For some reason this made her smile. They walked on in amicable silence, Lucas swinging the basket, Rowan hopping over frozen puddles. The lane went down a slight slope, then levelled out. Heavy, wide-

wheeled farm carts had cut deep ruts that had filled with water and now made long, parallel ribbons of ice, perhaps eighteen inches wide apiece.

Lucas set the basket down on a tree stump, took a run, and slid down one shining length of ice, arms flailing to keep his balance. When he got to the end he turned, took another run and did the same thing, arriving back, grinning, in front of her. 'Sorry-couldn't resist that. It has been a long time since I have seen ice.'

One thing two winters in Vienna had done for Rowan was to teach her how to skate. She held out her gloved right hand to him. 'One, two, three!'

It was a ragged start: she tried to lengthen her stride to match him; he shortened his. They were already laughing when their feet hit the ice, and Rowan was screaming with a mixture of delight and terror as they skidded down the icy ruts. There was no room to move their feet. The only way to balance was by waving their arms about, and they staggered off at the end, breathless and whooping with laughter.

Lucas pulled Rowan into his arms and they clung together, shoulders shaking, as their mirth subsided. It left them standing there, locked together, tears glistening in their eyes and suddenly in no mood to laugh, only to stare. She seemed to be drowning in the blue of his eyes; he seemed no more willing to unlock his gaze from hers. Something was happening. No, something had happened. Something wonderful… and dreadful.

Slowly she raised her hand, clumsy in its thick woollen glove, and stroked it down his cheek. He turned his face into it, the strong jawbone rubbing along her fingers, then he caught the tips in his teeth and dragged the glove off. The air was cold, but his mouth, as he pressed it into her palm, was hot.

His hat had fallen off again. She stared down at the dark head, bent so intently over her hand. The exposed nape, the vulnerable softness of the skin at the base of his skull, the virile curl of the hair there, the strength of the muscle. So male, so strong, so gentle. Something inside was hurting, as though pressure was building in her chest.

'Lucas?' She hadn't meant to whisper, but that was how it came out. But he heard it and looked up, and she wondered that the word gentle had occurred to her for a moment. The blue eyes blazed, his face was hard with something that reflected the baffling pain inside her, and his mouth when he pulled her hard into his arms and kissed her was savage.

She needed it. Gentleness would have made her cry. Rowan kissed him back without inhibition and the pain dissolved into something dark and urgent and-

'Come on, bor! You going to stand there all day, rutting with that there wench?' The thickly accented bellow brought them apart as effectively as a bucket of cold water thrown over fighting cats. Rowan caught a glimpse of a red-faced yokel perched up on the box of a wide farm wagon, two shaggy horses steaming patiently in the shafts.

With a gasp of mortification she turned her back. Lucas stepped onto the verge, drawing her with him, feet crunching in the snow. 'Sorry to keep you waiting, friend.'

'Ah, well, bor, you needs be doing your courting inside this weather. Fine wench like that'll soon warm you up,' the carter advised cheerfully as the wagon trundled past, shattering the ice on their impromptu skating rink.

'Oh!' Rowan emerged red-faced and flustered from the shelter of Lucas's shoulder.

He looked at her for a long moment, then went back for the basket. 'This won't do, will it?' he observed as he rejoined her and they began to walk on to Tollesbury Court.

'No,' Rowan agreed bleakly.

'Tomorrow is Christmas Day and the Servants' Ball. We will talk after that.'

'Not now?' They had reached the gates; soon there would be precious little privacy.

'Do you believe in magic, Daisy?' Lucas was looking away from her, out across the frigidly still parkland.

'No.' She shook her head.

'Neither do I. But let's pretend, until tomorrow at midnight, that magic does exist-for us.'

Common sense said End it now. The warning voice inside her agreed. You'll get hurt. Rowan listened to them, to the voices of duty and reality. But I am going to be hurt anyway-better tomorrow than today, she thought defiantly. I love him and it is quite impossible.

'Until the stroke of midnight on Christmas night, then I believe in magic'

'Give me your arm. No one can object with this slippery surface.'

They walked in silence. What Lucas's thoughts were she could not guess, but her own, circling, came up with a bump against a mystery.

I know it is hopeless, because I'm not really a dresser and I could not possibly marry a valet. But why does he think it won't do? Oh my God-he is married.

'Are you married?' Rowan demanded, stopping dead outside the kitchen door.

'No!'

'All right. I just wanted to be sure.' She took the basket from his grip while he was still staring at her and went inside, exchanging greetings with the kitchen maids and Cook as she hurried past.


I know this won't do. The Viscount Stoneley cannot marry a servant-even one with illegitimate blue blood in her veins, even one raised gently. But how does she know? Lucas was frowning over the conundrum as he let himself into Will's bedchamber. His friend was sitting in the window seat, gazing out idly, a book in his lap.

'Not downstairs socializing, Will?'

'Thinking. I can't get a moment to myself down there. If I'm talking to Miss Maylin, Grandmother is hovering, hanging on every word. If I'm not, she's at my elbow trying to get me back.'

'Maddening. Still, you are seeing enough of the girl to convince yourself she won't do, I imagine?'

'She is terrified of me.' Will dropped the book on the floor and swung both feet up onto the window seat, leaning forward to rest his folded arms on his knees and presenting Lucas with the uncommunicative barrier of his shoulders.

'You see-impossible for a countess. The girl's a mouse.'

'A very sweet mouse, and a very kind one. She would be wonderful with Louisa.'

'Do you want a woman who is frightened of you? Of the life you must lead?'

'No. But-'

'I'm sure she would make a wonderful governess, but that is not what you need. You need a Society hostess and an exciting woman in your bed to give you sons.'

'God! Do you not think I have had enough of exciting women? One was enough.'

'You need one who loves you.' Lucas stayed where he was, wondering, with a flash of pain, who he was arguing with.

'I loved Belle. You have no idea what it is like to love and to lose, Lucas. None.'

'Oh, yes, I have.' But he said it too quietly for Will to hear, turning his back to begin laying out his evening clothes.


'How did the music go?' Rowan asked.

Penny shrugged. 'As usual. I played adequately.'

'And the singing?'

'I whispered-as usual.' She fidgeted with her reticule, finally tipping it out on the bed and sorting through the spill of trifles. Rowan tried to study her expression, but Penny would not meet her eyes. 'How are Alice and Kate? And Dorritt and Charles, of course.'

'Very comfortable, and enjoying their holiday. See-your organza is clean again.' It had taken three more rinses, and then careful pressing with warm irons, but now it was perfect again. The manual work had allowed her to think in rather more tranquillity about Lucas. Because of the mystery surrounding Lady Danescroft it was easy to see mysteries everywhere. Lucas simply did not want to become entangled with a woman. He could tell she was falling…no, becoming attached. That was all he could see, surely? He could see this, and was acting to let her know it was going no further than a flirtation.

As Penny admired the dress Rowan let her mind wander back to him. It was her duty to marry well. Sooner or later she was going to find a man, a suitable gentleman, of whom Papa approved and whom she could respect enough to marry. She did not have to love him. Many people would say it was desirable that she did not. And in her heart she would hold the image of the man she did love. So impossibly.

'Did you say something?' Penny looked up.

'What? No. A hiccup, that was all.'

She would go to the ball and have her magical evening with Lucas. And then, like Cinderella, it would all vanish at midnight. Only she would leave her heart behind with him, not her slipper.

'Rowan?' Penny was watching her, frowning. 'You look sad. What is wrong?'

'Nothing.' She forced a smile.

'You are tired, and bored with this, I am sure. I do appreciate you being here, you know.'

'How is it with Lord Danescroft? Honestly?'

'I wish I was not so shy.' Penny looked down at her hands, clasped tightly together. 'I wish I had the courage to speak out about what I truly want.'

'It's the rest of your life, Penny. You must tell the truth about how you feel. I can't help you. I realise that now. There is nothing about Lord Danescroft that your father could possibly object to, and I truly believe he is innocent of everything except making a very poor choice of first wife.'

'Yes.' Penny drew in a deep breath. 'I will do my best. Now, what are you going to wear tomorrow night?'

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