A Sea of Shields

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

Kendrick, devastated since his encounter with his mother, tried to clear his mind and ease his thoughts on this holy day, as he walked slowly up the mountain face, following the path in smooth, broad circles, hiking with hundreds of Silver and soldiers as they wound their way up the holy mountain, each with a rock in hand. Pilgrimage Day had arrived, one of the holiest days of the year, and as Kendrick did every year, he joined his brothers in arms in the trek to this place. They’d spent the morning immersing in the river, collecting the choicest rocks, then spent the afternoon on the long hike up the mountain, walking slowly, circling its way up, higher and higher.

When they reached the top, the tradition was to place a rock, to kneel, and to pray. To purge themselves of the year’s past sins, and to prepare for the year to come. It was a sacred day for all those defending the kingdom. It was considered especially auspicious for a knight to trek with a woman whom he loved. Kendrick had asked Sandara, and she had agreed to come with him. She walked now, by his side, also immersed in silence.

Try as he did, it was hard for Kendrick to shake thoughts of his encounter with his mother. Although hundreds of miles had passed since the encounter, it still hung heavy on his heart. He wished he had never met her; he wished he had never sought her out. Kendrick wished, instead, that he had lived with the mystery his entire life, lived with the fantasy that his mother was someone else. Sometimes, he realized, fantasy was more precious than reality. Fantasy could sustain you, whereas real life could crush you.

“Are you okay, my lord?” Sandara asked.

Kendrick turned and looked at her, interrupted from his thoughts. As always, the sight of her lifted his worries. He loved Sandara more than he could say. So beautiful, so tall, with broad shoulders, dark skin, dark eyes, and the look of the Empire race, so exotic, so different from anyone he’d ever known. He reached out and took her hand as they walked.

“I will be fine,” he said.

“I think, my lord, you are still upset from your encounter with your mother,” she said.

Kendrick bit his tongue, knowing she was right, but not feeling ready to talk about it.

Sandara sighed.

“My mother was a cold, cruel merciless woman,” she said. “She hated me. My father was a great warrior, and kind to everyone. I am not cruel or mean like my mother was. I chose to take on the traits of my father.”

He looked at her and saw her staring at him, intensely.

“Don’t you see?” she said. “Who your mother, or father, was, does not affect you. You look for yourself in them. But you are yourself. To understand who you are, look to yourself. Be the person you choose to be. You choose who you are, you mold yourself every moment of every day.”

Kendrick thought of her words as they walked, circling the mountain, and realized she bore great wisdom. It was hard to do, but he had to let go of his parents. He had to discover who he was, himself.

Kendrick felt better already, and he turned and studied her.

“My parents never married,” he said. “They didn’t spend their life together. I myself do not wish to live this life alone. I wish to be married. To have children who know me. Children who are legitimate. Sandara,” Kendrick said, clearing his throat, “I wish to marry you. I know I’ve asked you before. But I truly want you to think about it. Please.”

Sandara looked down to the ground, and her eyes welled with tears.

“I love you, my lord,” she replied. “I truly do. But my home is far away. If there were not an ocean between us, yes, I would marry you. But I must return home. To my people. To the Empire. To those I know and love.”

“But you are not there,” Kendrick said. “You are here now. And your family is enslaved there.”

Sandara shrugged.

“True. But I’d rather live a slave in my home than be free and away from my people.”

Kendrick could not really understand, but he knew he would have to accept her wishes.

“At least I’m with you now, my lord,” she said. “I will not be departing for several days.”

Kendrick held Sandara’s hand tighter, and he wondered why all the women he cared about in the world had to disappear from him. He knew he should just cherish the time he had with her now. But thinking of her leaving made it hard.

They walked, silently, with hundreds of others, until finally they reached the peak of the mountain. It was solemn up here, quiet, and a sacred feeling hung in the air. Kendrick felt immediately at peace.

Kendrick knelt on the grass of the wide plateau, and along with other knights, placed his rock on the growing mound of rocks. As he did, he bowed his head low.

Please, God, he prayed silently, do not take this beautiful woman away from me. Allow us to be together. Find some way. I do not wish to part from her.

Kendrick opened his eyes and slowly stood, surprised at the prayer he chose. He had not been planning it. He usually prayed for the year to come, usually prayed for strength against his enemies, for courage, for valor. But this was the prayer that entered Kendrick’s mind, and he did not stop it.

He turned to Sandara, and she smiled back.

“I prayed for you, my lord,” she said. “That you find wisdom and peace.”

Kendrick smiled back.

“I said a very special prayer, too.”

As Kendrick looked over Sandara’s shoulder, he detected movement off in the horizon, and suddenly, his smile collapsed. He was confused by what he saw; it made no sense.

Kendrick pushed Sandara aside and studied the horizon with a professional warrior’s eye. As he did, his heart beat quicker in his chest.

It couldn’t be. There, on the horizon, was a dust cloud, black smoke, and thousands of warriors in armor, charging, heading down the road toward the unguarded King’s Court. This was the only day of the year, Pilgrimage Day, when the gates were left open. Of course, Kendrick never thought it would need to be protected. Who on earth could be attacking them when the Ring was so safe and secure?

As Kendrick looked closely, his face flushed red as he recognized the armor of the McClouds. He fumed, mad at himself for not leaving more protection behind. He was a good half day’s ride away, and those McClouds were already so close, too close, already overriding the gates.

In moments, Kendrick realized with a shock that his sister, unprotected, would be dead.

Kendrick let out a great battle cry, and all his men turned and saw what he saw, then they all followed suit as Kendrick quickly raced down the mountain, sprinting for his horse, eager to join the fight—but realizing, with a sinking feeling, that it was already too late.

Within moments, everyone he knew and loved would be dead.