Aftershocks

CHAPTER TWELVE

I LOVE YOU. The words echoed in the air along with their labored breathing and pounding hearts.

Briana wished Patrick hadn’t said those dangerous words, those dangerous, magic words, as she played her fingers through her lover’s hair, feeling warmth coming off him in waves.

It was a moment of such perfect contentment, she wished she could make it last. He loved her.

After a minute or two, he raised himself up on his forearms so he could look down into her face. Cupping her cheek in his palm, he kissed her softly on the lips. “I didn’t mean to blurt out my feelings so soon,” he said. “They’re true, though. I do love you.”

“Well, I’m glad it’s not an automatic reflex thing, every time you climax.”

He chuckled. “No. Usually I’m not so articulate. If I’d thought about it, I wouldn’t have said it, I guess, but I didn’t think.”

“Oh, Patrick. I love you, too.”

What a tangled web she’d woven, and hadn’t she become well ensnared in it? The man she was meant to entrap had trapped her, body and heart.

“You do?” He seemed almost as surprised as relieved.

She smiled up at him. “I love you. I love Dylan and Fiona, I even love poor disaster-plagued Courage Bay.”

“That’s good, but I haven’t even had a chance to date you properly yet. You may think you love me, but wait until you see my woman-getting arsenal. You’ll be under attack and won’t know what hit you.”

“Under attack, huh?” she said, feeling girlishly silly and delighted at the idea.

“That’s right. Morning.” He kissed her lips. “Noon.” He kissed the spot where her breasts met. “And night.” As though he couldn’t resist, he came back to her mouth and kissed her again, deeply.

“What form will this attack take?” she wondered aloud, loving this fun-loving, sweet, sweet man, so different from the suit-and-tie mayor.

“My arsenal is mostly secret. However, I think it’s fair to say there will be wining and dining.”

She considered. “Two fine weapons.”

“I don’t think flowers would be going too far.”

“A woman always likes to receive a bouquet now and then,” she agreed.

“That’s more the mental siege, to break down your resistance, before I step up the attack and move into the physical phase.”

“Oh, you’re planning to bully me?”

He shook his head. “Woo you.”

“I like the sound of wooing.”

“After the wining, dining and flowers, there will be some very physical wooing, don’t you worry.”

“You’re sounding awfully confident.”

He kissed her again, a nice loud smacker. “Actually, I’m not, but my heart’s gone now, and since I can’t get it back, I’ll just have to get you along with it.”

“Oh,” she said, feeling a prickle at her eyelids that surprised the heck out of her, “that is so sweet.”

“I know I’m pushing you, and rushing you and pressuring you and doing everything I shouldn’t, but I need you to realize that I’m also a package deal. You can’t have me in your life and not have Fiona and Dylan.”

She snuggled up to him and kissed his chin, then the tip of his nose, and then his lips, which still tasted a little of her. “In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m already in your life. And theirs.”

Even though she’d tried to resist him, Dylan was as up front about his own brand of wooing as his dad, and Fiona didn’t have to do a thing to steal her heart. She’d fallen for the little tyke the first minute she saw her.

Her happiness was slightly tarnished by a flickering thought for her uncle, but she pushed it aside.

She couldn’t have fallen in love with a man who wasn’t trustworthy, and she couldn’t go on loving him without admitting how she’d come to work for him.

Phew, it wasn’t going to be easy, admitting that she’d taken the job under false pretenses. But when she explained why, and shared the results of her investigation, she hoped he’d understand that although she’d joined his staff with an ulterior motive, she would never have done anything to hurt him or his family.

Suddenly, a sense of urgency gripped her. As soon as she saw Joe Carlton, she’d tell Patrick everything.

They made love again, their newly expressed feelings adding a poignancy and intensity she’d never experienced before. “I never thought I could be this happy again,” he said when he was buried deep inside her body and they were as close as two people can be.

By the time they’d finished round two, which had somehow morphed into round three without a break, Briana was feeling emotionally and physically sated.

“Are you hungry?” she asked.

He narrowed his eyes at her. “That depends. If we have to leave this apartment to find food, then no, I’m not hungry. I’m too tired to move. I may never move again.”

“How about if I told you I already have a salad and chicken breast prepared?” She wasn’t the only one who needed refueling. They’d both been pretty acrobatic that last round.

“In that case, I’m famished.”

She chuckled. “I also have a freezer full of stuff. I have domestic urges,” she admitted, as though it were a shameful secret. “When I’m upset or thinking deeply about things, I always cook. And since I live alone, well, like I said, I have a freezer full of stuff.”

He dragged himself out of bed and stepped into his shorts, leaving his chest bare. Which was just the way she liked it. If she had her way, he’d always go bare-chested. In fact, she might make it a rule for his entry into her apartment, she thought with a foolish sense of burgeoning happiness. Or maybe it was a burgeoning sense of foolish happiness. Could she be this lucky?

Tomorrow, she was going back to Acadia Springs, and whatever she learned there, she decided she was going to tell Patrick everything.

“You know what I can’t believe?” Patrick said over the salad and chicken breast and the homemade bread she’d taken out of the freezer and warmed.

“What?”

“ Shannon really likes you.”

Briana almost choked on a cherry tomato. “If that’s like, I never, ever want to be on her bad side.”

He chuckled. “She’s mellowed, believe me. You should have seen her before she and John got together.”

“Patrick, the woman threatened me with violence if I ever hurt you or your kids.”

“Remind me to buy her a bigger Christmas present,” he said with a grin.

She tried to kick him under the table, but her aim wasn’t great.

“You know,” he said, catching her hand in his, “people hurt each other. It happens. You can’t not risk your heart on the chance it could get broken.”

She nodded, although he had no idea she’d been sent here to deliberately hurt him.

“Janie hurt me. And the kids. She never meant to, of course. No one plans to die suddenly one morning out of the blue. When she was first gone, I used to wish I’d never met her. Then I wouldn’t have had to face her dying.” His voice grew a tad husky, and he paused to take a sip of wine. “But I wouldn’t have Dylan and Fiona if I hadn’t loved Janie, and I can’t imagine the world without them.”

She felt tears prick her eyelids. “And she was able to leave a part of herself behind.” How could she be so lucky that such a man had fallen in love with her? “It must have been so difficult for you to lose her when the poor kids were so young.” She recalled Shannon ’s earlier words about Janie’s pregnancy.

“It was hell. Pure, unadulterated hell. I was angry at her for a long time. You know, those stages of grief everyone tells you about and you don’t believe you’re in?”

She didn’t completely, of course, but she nodded anyway, wanting him to continue.

“After I finally got it through my head that she was gone, I was furious that she’d left me. Furious that she’d left the kids.” He shook his head, broke apart a piece of bread but didn’t eat it. “It sounds awful to even say that, but it’s true. I was mad at her, mad at God, mad at the world.”

He looked up at Briana and smiled, the sad, wise smile of a man who’s been through a tragedy and lived to talk about it. “I knew I was finally starting to heal when I realized how grateful I was to her for those kids.”

She nodded and reached across the table to clasp his hand, so warm and leathery from all those years of firefighting. He squeezed back, linking their fingers. “Anyhow, I survived and the kids survived. Loving you is the same. There’s risk involved. You could get sick. I could get sick. One of us could die. You could end up not being willing to take on another woman’s children. I understand the risks and, for the first time in three years, I’m ready to take them.”

The tears now filled her eyes. “I think I’m the luckiest woman in the world,” she said. “I’m going to try so hard to make you happy.”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Shannon had it wrong. So wrong. Hurt happens. Bad things happen. My happiness is not your responsibility. I love you. That’s my choice.”

“Right. I understand that. And I’m making a choice, too.” She suddenly felt the need to lighten the atmosphere. “I’m making a choice to drag you back to bed.”

They made love twice more during the night, and when she awoke in the morning, she found herself alone in bed. The noise of the shower had woken her. She pondered the idea of slipping out of bed and joining Patrick under the pounding spray, but felt too lazy.

Instead, she lay there, sleepily remembering last night. She knew she’d never forget it as long as she lived.

She dozed a little until he came out, fresh, damp and smelling of her shampoo. “I used one of your pink plastic razors,” he said, rubbing his hand along his jaw as though it hurt. “Those things should be banned.”

“They’re not meant for men with sexy Irish beards,” she informed him.

He stared down at her for a long moment, as though imprinting her face on his memory. This was how he’d look, she thought, if he was heading off to war and might never see her again. Torn between wanting to stay and knowing he had to leave.

“I have to go,” he said, as though that were news.

“Do you want some coffee before you go? I could thaw some homemade muffins.”

“I’d love to, but if I stay any longer, we’ll end up back in that bed, and I’ll be late getting the kids. I don’t want them overstaying their welcome at Aunt Shannon’s.” He kissed her and grinned down at her. “We want her to volunteer again.”

She nodded enthusiastically. “Soon, and often.”

“See you tomorrow at the office.”

“Right.” Reality started to creep back, but Briana wouldn’t let it. The day was sunny, she felt well-loved, and there was a nice drive ahead of her. By tonight, with luck, she’d know the name of the culprit who’d ruined her uncle’s career, and it wouldn’t be O’Shea.

Patrick kissed her quickly on the lips, but she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a longer, sweeter goodbye kiss.

“I love you,” he whispered, then drew away and left the room swiftly.

“I love you, too,” she said.