Air (or Have Not Have)

CHAPTER 19

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audio file from: Mrs Chung Mae

26 December

Mr Oz

Kwan has an e-mail saying that Teacher Shen has lost his job and is to be replaced. How? The snows have come. You can't get even a tractor up our road now. So is Teacher Shen supposed to go on teaching unpaid? How will it help our children if there is no school? Look, okay, Teacher Shen gave me a big blow and did the Party of Progress great harm. But this will do no good. Please listen to his wife, our friend Shen Suloi.

Mr Oz-sir, I am Mrs Shen Suloi, the wife of Teacher Shen. Gracious friend, you have been all kindness to us and we need your help again. My husband is wrong about the TV and Air, he sees these things as a great flood that will sweep everything away, but he is a good man and he wants the best for the children of our village. Gracious friend, it is a very bad thing that the message he lost his job came through the TV, and came after your visit. This makes many men here think of the TV as an enemy. They think it spies for the government. They think it takes away a man's whole life. Many say they will not let their children go to school if it is taught by a government replacement woman. My husband goes on teaching now for no money, but he is broken-hearted. We are poor people, Mr Oz, okay? That is hard for us to admit – easier perhaps for the women. We have four children ourselves, and no farm. My husband goes to the school with his shoulders hunched. He does not comb his hair. He sits at night by the single candle and weeps. All his life he trained to be Teacher. It was a great accomplishment for a boy from Kizuldah, and now that has gone, and his wife makes more money than he does. So can you talk to the people who did this and explain we have no Teacher? Can you get them to give my husband back his job? This is Mrs Chung. Tell them this mail comes from me, whom he harmed. Winter is when our children traditionally do their lessons. It does no good to have no Teacher here now.

____________________

audio file from: Mr Oz Oz

27 December

Mae, I am angry, too. They didn't even tell me. It is like that – you make a report, and they go off and do something and don't even consult with the person who was there. It is typical of the Central Office to work in that way. I don't know why I stay with them. They never listen. They have no management skills. I feel terribly embarrassed but it is not my fault. What can I do?

____________________

audio file from: Mrs Chung Mae

27 December

I don't care about all of that – what are you going to DO NOW?

____________________

e-mail from: Mrs Wing Kwan

29 December

Dear Secretary Goongoormush,

I am a partner with Madam Chung Mae. Our business was recently featured in the New York Times. The attached files of access statistics and business turnover shows our venture to be one of the most successful under the Taking Wing Initiative. My husband is manager of Swallow Communications, also funded by the Initiative.

I say this only to show that I, along with Chung Mae and others, represent what we here call the Party of Progress. Your representative Mr Oz Oz accurately reported that our efforts have been hampered by the local schoolteacher, Mr Shen Yoh.

However, removing Teacher Shen from his post at this time will slow progress. His replacement will not be able to get up our road in winter. This could leave our children without schooling during this crucial year of Taking Wing.

Teacher Shen has not seen the benefits of Info. But he is a good man, and we of the Party of Progress request his reinstatement.

Yours,

Mrs Wing Kwan

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audio file from: Mr Oz Oz

30 December

Mae, are you crazy? A letter from Kwan? She is not the best-regarded person in Kizuldah. I have raised the issue, but my boss tells me it is all down to the Office of Discipline and Education, and their own 2020 Vision campaign. So, you see how I am prevented at every turn from helping.

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audio file from: Mrs Chung Mae

30 December

I do indeed see what stops you helping us.

It was dawn, and in her loft, Mae could hear the weaving machine at work.

It made a neat whirring sound that reminded Mae of hummingbirds. She could hear it through her walls as she worked. She could imagine it extending a tongue of beautiful new knitware.

Her new TV was strung in a hammock and held up by Siao's pulley. It was early morning and Mae was building a new site. It was not going well. Well, at least one screen worked.

____________________

OLD CARS NEVER DIE,

they just go to Mr Pin-sir's

DYNAMIC CAR SURGERY.

Also their cousins tractors, trailers and vans.

All vehicles are charmed by the Car Surgeon s bedside manner and kind,

skilled hands.

____________________

Mae had written letters telling everyone about her new Net services. Her first customer, Mr Pin, had shown up two days ago.

Mr Pin did not want to speak to Madam Owl. He sat with Siao, ignoring Mae and twisting the letter in his hand. He had no more idea of what to do with the Net than use it to make himself seem more modern. That meant, more modern than his great and murderous rival, Mr Enver Atakoloo.

Siao kept trying to defer to Mae, to direct Mr Pin's questions to her. Finally, to relieve everyone's embarrassment, Mae had gone back upstairs into the loft.

She listened from upstairs, and was surprised at how useful Siao was. Mr Pin was a difficult man to help. He did not understand what the TV was for, and was frightened that the government would see anything about him.

Siao kept explaining. It took hours and a bottle of warmed rice wine. Siao's idea was to put a list on the machine called, 'Mr Pin's Helpful Service that Answers Your Questions.'

It would give people advice on how to check the car was working or to make simple repairs themselves. Mr Pin did not understand the principles of Info mat-unrolling – giving something away for free. Siao evidently did. He explained that free Info made friends with the customers and showed you were expert. More importantly, it got rid of the less profitable parts of your business by giving away all the little pieces of advice that made no money.

Pin, drunk by now, finally got it. 'Ah, Mr Siao-sir, what a brain you have! You should be running a bank, sir!'

Siao coaxed out of Mr Pin everything that could go wrong with a car and whether most people could fix it themselves, and if not, how much it would cost.

Siao then clambered up the ladder with a written list. His manner had no pride in it. Businesslike, he had read it out to Mae and into the machine.

Mae was using that information to make her first intelligent voice-form. It was supposed to ask questions and leave time for the innocent to reply into the microphone.

'Nature of the problem?'

'The car won't start when…'

'Huh? Please repeat the nature of the problem.'

'Won't start…'

'Huh? If you are having difficulty, please make an appointment with Mr Pin. Can you bring the car in? Answer yes or no.'

'No!'

'Can you bring the car in? Answer yes or no.'

'Yes!'

The voiceform did a kind of flip and started to repeat over and over. 'Answer … Answer … Answer …'

'Shitcakes,' said Mae, and thumped the TV. 'Stop. Save.' Mae arched herself backwards to bend her spine in the opposite direction. 'Create e-mail to sloop@karzphone.co.kz. Attach program file Pin-form Three.'

Mae sent the form to the Sloop, the telephone engineer in Yeshiboz-kent who had first tried to explain TV to her. He helped her with difficult encoding. For a fee. How was she supposed to make money from this?

Mae sighed and thought about breakfast.

She went downstairs and was surprised to see Siao and Old Mr Chung were up this early and at breakfast. Then she saw the time. It was eight-thirty a.m. Siao had his head in his hands.

Siao held out a paper towards Mae. 'Your brother,' he said, shaking his head.

'What has he done now?' Mae was prepared to be breezy about her brother. He was inconvenient, like burnt porridge and a pan that needed to be scrubbed.

Siao's face curled inward on itself, lips disappearing. 'You will not believe it. He is claiming your business.'

'What! How can he do that?' Mae made the face she got when she shooed midges from her eyes, a squinting and a shaking of the head.

Siao read the letter to Mae. It was a from a city lawyer.

Under section 99.54 of the Worldly Property Act, it is evident that Madam Chung Mae, having deserted her husband, has no claims on the family property. The residence Down Court 2 on Lower Street having been sold, this leaves only the family's business interests. Since Mr Chung Joe has residence in Balshang, plainly the family business in fashion, Net design, and clothes production has been taken over by his deserting wife, who has no legal entitlement to it.

Mrs Chung has shown continual lack of judgement and bizarre behaviour since an unfortunate incident resulting from the Air Test. This has been fully documented; see affidavits from Dr Bauschu, who attests to an induced schizophrenia following the Test.

Mrs Chung's bizarre behaviour has included attacking a village elder with cleavers, desertion of her husband, an illicit love affair, and a complete rejection of her own maiden family, causing her elderly mother great distress.

As male head of her family, I therefore claim immediate control of all these business interests in order to preserve and protect them and to put them under rightful management…

Hatred came to Mae – pure and whole and all-consuming. She sat down with a bump. Ju-mei was very lucky that he was not in the room, for she would surely have picked up her cleavers again.

'I cannot believe this. He can do that?'

'It is an old law. It is to avoid women taking over things. But the law exists.'

'I will kill him!'

'That will just leave you in prison.'

Siao lit a cigarette and looked Mae in the eyes. 'How much do you trust me?' he asked.

Mae blinked at the unexpected question. 'I don't know. I have never had to trust you, Siao.'

He nodded, and his eyes turned momentarily inward towards himself. He had not made himself present before. 'We could say that this is a Chung family business. And that therefore Mr Wang can keep his nose out of it.'

Mae could see why he had asked. 'We could indeed.' And she did indeed feel mistrust. She did not want Joe or Siao taking it over, either.

'I could say it is Chung family business, and that Ju-mei may be a head of family, but it is the wrong family. We could say that whether you are suitable or not, is not for him or his lawyer to say.'

Old Mr Chung shook his head. 'They take everything away.'

'Not if we don't let them, Papa,' said Siao.

'We will need a lawyer,' said Mae. 'Lawyers know people, they know how the government works. Inshallah!' She put her own head in her hands. 'Oh, I do not need this! I tell you, all of this will drive me mad!'

'I should not say things like that for a while,' said Siao.

Mae went to her machine and voicemailed Kwan. Kwan gave her the name of a lawyer, and suggested that it might be better if she, Kwan, wrote the letter.

'Mae, when you get angry you sometimes say things.'

'I never want to see any of my family ever again.'

'That is exactly what I mean.'

Kwan produced a draft in her own name, writing as a member of the Circle. It was the complete expression of a reasonable, ladylike person, setting out a situation in which she herself had rights. The business apparently belonged to everyone in the Circle, including Kwan.

I hope, Mae thought, I am not about to have trouble with her too.

Siao looked pensive. 'That is another line to take, and perhaps even better than saying it is a Chung family business. But consider. It could be that Ju-mei does not do this because he thinks he can get the business. Maybe he just wants a cut.'

'He wants a cut, all right, I'll give him a cut. He knows nothing about Info, nothing about Air, nothing about anything, he is just jealous and always has been.'

'He is those things. You have to accept that. You can't change who your brother is.' Siao knew something about accepting difficult brothers.

Mae said nothing. Siao said, 'Mae, I don't think it's money he wants. I think he wants respect. That is why he is always in city overcoat and city hat. It is why he is an insurance agent up here in the hills, even though none of us can afford insurance.'

Mae was furious. 'I will never talk to him ever again. For me he ceases to live. A toad has more of my notice than that city suit of pretension and jealousy.'

'You and your sister ran the family,' said Siao. 'All he sees is his power-grabbing sister who is always, always, ahead of him, and he yearns, just once, to win. I would say that what he wants is for you to need him.'

^'Tuh! Him? You are too nice, Siao. Ju-mei wants success and loot.'

'What a man wants more than anything else, Mae, is to be needed.' Siao's voice was very quiet. 'If a man is not needed he does one of two things. He gives up and becomes quiet and angry. Or he rages and becomes loud and angry. Both are the same.' Siao's eyes said, / know.

And Mae thought: He means himself.

She said, 'Ju-mei has his wife and child to need him.'

Siao shrugged. 'That will not be enough if you are a cloud over his head.'

'So. What do you suggest we do?'

'I suggest you spend no money on lawyers. That is what he wants you to do so that he can go to court and humiliate you.' Siao was thinking. 'You can apologize.'

'What!'

Siao could not help but smile. 'A-ha, you see, you like being right, too. You are both from the same family.'

'Apologize for what?'

'Lying to him.'

'I never lied to him.'

'Did you tell him about your plans for the business?'

'What? No! Of course not!'

'Ah, so you did not tell your own brother the truth. And what is not telling the truth, Mae?'

Mae was flabbergasted. 'But, but, it it it it…'

Siao was starting to chuckle. 'You hid the truth. Hiding the truth is a lie.'

'But it is not like I told him I was not doing any business! What business is it of his?'

'He is your brother. What he is doing is trying to make the law enforce that. Yes, he wants to do it in a way that hurts you, but that's because you have hurt him, and he thinks you must have done it deliberately. I know! You didn't do anything to hurt him deliberately. But you hurt him. What is he looking for here? To be head of family, and to be your brother. He knows in his heart that you married, and are no longer a Wang.'

'Tuh. He knows in his heart he wants money.'

'I know in his heart he wants much more than that. I tell you. Let me write the letter.' Siao could not resist a little joke. 'Women are so insensitive. They cannot understand a man's finer feelings.'

'Nonsense!' said Mae.

Siao touched the tip of the pencil to his tongue to begin writing. Siao enjoyed writing. Mae had never noticed that before.

My dearest brother,

I am sorry to have concealed all my business dealings from you. It was not honest to do so. I have lost much because of this. I have lost your aid and your counsel. Instead you have become my enemy at a time when I most need friends.

I have a wonderful idea, but I do not know how to progress it because I am so ignorant of the insurance business. And here at hand I have a brother who knows all about it! I think you and I together could come up with very intelligent ways to use the TV to get our local village people to see how important it is to have insurance.

I need your help. Please can we meet so that we can talk all through this.

Your sister,

Mae

Mae was scornful. 'It says nothing about the case. It does not even ask him to give the case up!'

'Ah. You noticed.'

'You are asking me to lie down and be screwed by my own brother.'

'I am asking you to give something up so that he sees it is in his self-interest to give something up, too. So that he will be on your side, as a brother should be. I am willing to bet, Mae, that he would give anything to be by your side as a brother should be.'

Mae snarled. 'Hmph. Okay, we send your letter, eh? And just see the reply we get from my charming younger brother!'

Mae,

Your idea for television insurance is interesting. Of course, it would have to be linked with Yeshibozkent Home Guardian, whose interests I represent. But I am sure they would have no objections to screens that carried their brand and sold their products in a way that suits our locale. I will need to discuss this idea with them first.

I do have doubts whether we can work together. Your behaviour in the past leads to grave concerns about your state of mind. However, families must show solidarity in the face of adversity. If you are willing to allow my greater knowledge of the field to direct policy, then perhaps we can consider this further.

Your brother,

Mr Wang Ju-mei

Happy Province Sales Conqueror, Yeshibozkent Home Guardian

Mae was furious. 'My behaviour! My state of mind! What about his, suing his own sister! Trying to take away all that she has done!'

Siao sipped his tea. 'Shall we look at what he really said? First, he has grave doubts about the two of you working together. Is that not something you can agree with?'

Mae puffed out air. 'Poh, yes, that at least.'

'So. Shall we regard that as a simple statement of fact?'

Mae shrugged her shoulders. 'He sued me, I did not sue him.'

'He hasn't sued you. He has stated his intention to. In fact, he gave you fair warning. Isn't that so? Mae? It is so.'

'You are a man and you are on his side.'

'You are perfectly right to call him jealous and scheming. Let's just look at what he says in the letter. Now, he then mentions your behaviour and your state of mind. Have you not chased a man with cleavers? Did you not have a careless affair with the neighbour? Did you not threaten to kill Ju-mei?'

Mae did not like this. She wanted to fight, but there was nothing to fight.

Siao whispered, 'He is frightened of you, Mae. He is terrified of you. You are his big, brave older sister, and he knows you take on the New York Times and that you chased big strong Mr Haseem out of your house, and he is scared!'

There was something in what Siao was saying that made Mae laugh.

'I'm frightened of you, Mae! The whole village is terrified of you! So, okay, Madam Owl, who is violent and aggressive, hates him. People know when you hate them, Mae. They also know when you love them.'

Mae was still smiling.

'So he is saying he will talk to his company, he is saying families must stick together. Mae! You've won! So now you must act like you have won.'

Mae started to puff out.

Siao said, 'You must go and visit your family. And make amends.'

Mae was left to wait alone in the icy diwan.

Her family burned tiny amounts of coal. Two grey chunks of it smouldered on the brazier. Mae sat on the cushions and tried to warm her feet and still her butterfly hands, her butterfly stomach. Mae, Mae, why are you so scared?

She heard them whispering outside the room. Why were they so scared? Why was the whole family Wang frightened of itself?

It's like this for Ju-mei, she thought. He shows up in people's houses, they don't want to be discourteous, so they show him in into the diwan and have a quiet fight hissing behind curtains, trying to make each other be polite to him. He sits alone and pretends not to hear.

But the least you can do is let people wait in warmth. If coal is such a luxury, then burn shitcakes. Except that the family Wang can't be seen to burn shit, only peasants burn shit.

We used to wrap birthday presents in the red paper napkins that came with the tea at the teahouse. We would wrap up something precious like an orange. And we would carefully pick off the tape so we could use the napkins again. Every little present came wrapped in the same red napkins.

Poor Mama. All we ever had to eat was soup, one bowl of soup a day. And I remember one day we had to eat grass stew, just to fill our bellies. The next day, Mama went to every house in the village and begged. Someone gave her hen's-feet. Someone gave her an onion. And she made us soup, out of almost nothing. And then one of us little monkeys spilled kerosene from the lamp into it. And she fell on the floor weeping. She did not even punish us. She just lay there crying.

Mae looked at the photographs on the walls. There they were, all children lined up in white shirts, white dresses in the Golden Age, as Mama called the time when Papa was alive. Even then, she would have beaten those clothes white on the rocks under the bridge.

There was Papa with a photographic face like burnished bronze in a city suit, with a moustache and a pipe. Mae remembered the day it was taken. They had all ridden down from Kurulmushkoy in a cart, and he had sat up straight and proud in his best clothes. He was the local candidate for the Party of National Unity, and that was why his picture was to be taken. That was why he was killed.

It was okay for Missy and me, we were girls, we could go on being girls. It was Ju-mei who had no one to show him how to be. And that's why Papa's picture now hangs in the middle of the wall.

Mae remembered: Ju-mei didn't talk for six months after Papa was killed. He just sat in silence, looking at his little scuffed shoes.

Mae remembered. It was Ju-mei who had found him dying in the diwan. We had to keep using the cushions, with Papa's blood on them.

Suddenly the diwan curtains snapped back as if Ju-mei wanted to tear them down. His chin was thrust up, he was in full city regalia, and he had on his glasses.

Suddenly she remembered her father's dead face and the answer came.

He is frightened of the past. He is doing everything he can to escape it. And the more he fights, the more he's trapped in it. And so am I.

Something in Mae seemed to snap and unwind. She uncoiled and relaxed.

Poor Ju-mei, you can never give up fighting, not even for a moment.

Mae stood up and gave her brother a respectful bow. Even she was amazed. She did not feel a tremor of resentment.

'Brother,' she murmured.

'Sister,' he growled curtly, and jerked his head up and down. It was more like he was hitting her with his head than bowing in respect.

He didn't know what to say. They both stood staring for a moment.

'May I sit down?' Mae asked.

'I am amazed that you have to ask,' he growled back. He thought she was trying to show him up for bad manners. Which meant, of course, that he knew he had been bad-mannered at leaving her alone for so long.

Mae sat down and looked at the walls and thought the Karz equivalent of, To hell with it. She gave up trying to do anything at all.

'Your photographs reminded me strongly of the old days, when we lived here with our auntie.'

'Tuh! I am too busy to think about the past.'

'Me too, mostly. But you know, it was not all bad. It is good to remember how dedicated Mama was to keeping us clean and fed. How we all worked.'

'It is pleasant to hear you acknowledge Mama for something.'

Mae couldn't be bothered with fighting. 'She will always be Mama. It was very difficult for her; she relied on Papa for everything. In those days, it was possible to believe that if you were a woman you would never have to grow up. You could just go on doing what you were told. And suddenly… poof… no one there to tell you.'

'She has never recovered from Father's death.'

'None of us has. We are so far gone we would not know what recovery looks like. Who we might have been if Papa had lived is so far away we cannot even imagine it. Only, I think we keep thinking we will one day grow up to be that family.'

Ju-mei suddenly stood up. 'What do you want?' he asked roughly. Mae couldn't figure out if he was angry or threatened or impatient or bored or sad.

She might as well answer his question for real. She sat and thought for a moment and the answer came as a surprise. 'A little peace and quiet,' she said.

' Tuh, there is little chance of that for anyone else when you are around.'

And there probably was some truth in that. 'Maybe that's why I need some myself.'

Ju-mei stood up straighter. 'We are here to talk about a proposition.'

Mae's eyes felt heavy. She had a choice. She could let them have the argument Ju-mei wanted, or she could choose to hold on to what Siao had shown her: something new.

Mae found she was doing this for Siao.

' "Insurance" is too big a word for people who make their own candles,' she said. 'They have to see it. They have to see themselves. So. Your company will have something called day tah. It is Info the company uses to calculate answers to insurance questions. Maybe the company has videos, maybe about real people the company has helped.'

It was like a fire kindled in herself. Mae suddenly sat up.

'So what we do is, pull all this stuff together into a show. And we have Number One Expert. That's you. Maybe we put the show on in Mrs Wing's courtyard. We make it social. Maybe in spring. Food, flowers, everything is abundant. Ah! And you come, and you explain. You show some films, but also, you invite people to talk to the TV and it gets answers especially for them.'

She'd done something wrong. Ju-mei's face was closing down. 'I've been selling insurance to this village for many years, Mae. I don't need you to tell me how to do it.'

I have made a mistake. Here I am, the big older sister, telling him what to do.

'I… I have let my enthusiasm carry me away,' she said. 'Plainly, this scheme would rely entirely upon you.'

'You have never bought any insurance yourself,' he said.

What, I should spend all that money with you, because you are my brother? Mae had to quell the rising-up of anger. After all, Mae, his wife bought your dresses. Families buy from each other. Solidarity.

'That was my husband's decision,' said Mae.

'Joe? Joe never made any decisions.'

Ju-mei is being more honest in this encounter than you are, Mae.

'I never thought we needed it,' said Mae.

Until now. They needed it now, and for a reason. 'I don't expect you to believe me, Ju-mei, but I have only just realized what I want out of this.'

'Money,' he said flatly, dourly, without hope.

'I want you to get our village insured. Against flooding.' She thought for a moment. 'And I want my family back.' She felt a little sting of tears around the base of her eyes.

Mae thought it was to no avail. It ended like a business meeting, with Ju-mei promising to consider her proposal. Before she turned and left, she looked about the house. There were small thin rugs on the floor, and a picture cut from a magazine in a frame. The shelves were empty except for an encyclopedia Ju-mei had bought second hand for his children's education. The room was clean and tidy – so much work and so cold. Her mother did not show her face.

Mae got home and decided to buy some Flood insurance. She made tea, climbed up the steps to Madam Owl's attic. There was an e-mail for her.

Sister,

I have talked with the family and we have decided to accept your proposition. We think it would be better if we had the show here, in our own home. Mama is talking about decorations and food. Would you or Mrs Wing be able to loan us the television?

There is something I did not understand. I did not understand before how much of what you do is done for the village. I thought you did it to make money. You dressed down and looked bad and I thought you had given yourself a different kind of air and grace, that you had set yourself up as something. It simply did not occur to me how much of what you were doing you were doing without thought of yourself.

And so I find that I am more than happy to join with you in your project.

Together we will get Kizuldah insured.

Your brother,

Ju-mei

'Siao! Siao!' Mae called, overjoyed. 'Siao! Come see!'

Mae and Sloop the engineer from Yeshibozkent put the demonstration together.

Siao and Ju-mei wrestled her television into the Wang family house. There were indeed flowers, but winter flowers, made of paper, and tables full of food. Someone from every household in the village came. The grates were piled high with coals, and there was rice wine.

Ju-mei stood in front of them all, and showed people how much money they could make, and how they could pay, so little each week. The faces of other farmers explained: They were buying protection. These were not videos; Yeshibozkent Home Guardian set up live links. Lined, weathered faces like their own answered the villagers' questions. 'Oh, yes, we lost all our sheep to foot and mouth, but the company paid back our losses.'

The director of Home Guardian also came on a live link. He told Ju-mei that his show was a model of how to bring the insurance crusade to the people.

Siao was there and bought insurance on behalf of the family Chung. He made a handsome gesture of paying for the insurance of Mae's weaving machine.

Throughout, Mae sat quietly in the corner, wearing her best white dress.

After the shaking of hands, and good-nights, and seeing her brother's overjoyed smile, Mae climbed up the ladder to her loft and went to bed alone. Her arms held nothing, except the memory of the party. She cradled it all night alongside the swelling shape of her unborn child.

But she found herself thinking of Siao's smooth arms.