Alfie The Doorstep Cat. A Cat Called Alfie. Alfie Cat In Trouble. Alfie Far From Home. Alfie And George

This had turned out to be the best day ever.

2.5.2. ALFIE FAR FROM HOME

My name is Alfie and I am a cat, or more accurately I am a doorstep cat. This means I have one main family who I live with in Edgar Road, but I also visit other homes. I am a bit like a part-time pet in each one. I get fed (yummy), I get stroked and fussed over and I also get to play with lots of children. I really like children. I have many friends, both human and cat, but my latest are the Clover family. They recently moved into the next street to me and I have been spending a bit of time with them.

You see, I also get involved in the lives of my humans, who often need my help. And this cat is very good at helping people. It’s what I do – what any good doorstep cat should do.

Chapter 1

I sat on the pavement with the Clover family. Eight-year-old Stanley squealed excitedly as they stared at a van.

‘We actually get to live in there?’ He was looking more unruly than usual, hair messy, T-shirt back to front and the laces of his trainers untied. I needed to give that boy a lesson in grooming – I always made sure my blue-grey fur looked its best. Mind you, his parents were a bit scruffy too. Only Viola was neat and tidy.

‘Yes, dear, it’s our camper van,’ Mrs Clover said. ‘We’re sleeping in it at the campsite.’ The Clovers were going on holiday. ‘Right, well children, chop chop, we must finish packing.’

‘I’ll miss you, Alfie,’ Stanley said, picking me up. I purred. I would miss the Clovers too.

As Stanley put me down, he and Mr Clover went back into the house.

‘Come along, dear,’ Mrs Clover said. Viola looked glum. ‘Whatever is wrong? Don’t you want to go on holiday?’

‘No, I mean yes, I really do. Oh, it doesn’t matter,’ Viola sighed as she hurried after her mum.

After they’d gone, I decided to look around the house on wheels. I climbed in through an open window and my eyes widened. There was a small kitchen area, a room with a toilet, and a table with bench seats round it. Being a cat, I wasn’t sure where they would sleep, but I assumed they would work that out.

The sun streamed through one of the windows. Tucked down the side of the bench was a cushion. It was a perfect spot, so I thought I’d just enjoy a bit of sunbathing before the Clovers left.

I opened my eyes slowly, blinked, yawned and stretched. I felt my stomach lurch as I became aware of motion. I was moving. How was I moving? I sat up but didn’t recognise my surroundings, so I jumped up and looked out of a window – I could see flashes of trees whizzing past. Yikes! I was in the van! I wasn’t meant to be here!

‘YELP!’

‘Alfie?’ Viola said.

I looked and saw Viola and Stanley sitting at a pull-out table, playing a game. Mr Clover was driving, Mrs Clover sat next to him.

‘Oh yikes,’ Stanley said. ‘Alfie, what are you doing here?’

‘Miaow.’ Obviously I’d fallen asleep and woken up in a moving house. Oh well, no problem, they couldn’t have gone far.

[Êàðòèíêà: i_004.jpg]

‘We’ve been driving for three hours,’ Viola said.

Three hours?

She bit her lip.‘Mum?’ Carefully, she moved nearer the front.

‘Yes, dear?’

‘It seems that Alfie has accidentally stowed away.’

‘What? WHAT? Dear, stop the van, we have to stop the van. STOP.’

‘Oh goodness, oh goodness.’

Whilst Mr and Mrs Clover panicked, I started cleaning myself. I couldn’t believe I’d been asleep all that time.

‘Dad, just pull over when it’s safe,’ Viola said sensibly.

A few minutes later, Mr Clover found a lay-by.

‘We’ll just have to go home,’ Mr Clover said.

‘But we’re nearly there!’ Viola pointed out.

‘Then we at least need to phone Alfie’s family,’ Mrs Clover said. ‘The number’s on his collar.’

‘Yes, let’s phone them. That’s exactly what we’ll do,’ Mr Clover said.

‘But then what?’ Mrs Clover asked.

‘Just explain we’re in Devon and that Alfie will have to come on holiday with us for a week,’ Viola suggested.

‘But a cat, on holiday. I mean whoever heard of such a thing?’ Mrs Clover shrieked.

Actually, I had been on holiday before, but I couldn’t tell them that.

‘Mum, Dad, calm down,’ Stanley said.

Viola’s plan sounded good to me. I’d miss my other families but a holiday might just be what the vet ordered.

‘OK.’ Mrs Clover calmed down and phoned my home. I was going on holiday!

For the rest of the journey, I was as excited as Stanley. Only Viola was quiet.

We stopped by a sign that saidCurly Wood Campsite and were greeted by a man and a woman.

‘Mr Clover and family.’ Mr Clover got out of the van.

‘Welcome to Curly Wood. I’m Mr Green the campsite manager, and this is my wife, Mrs Green.’ The man who welcomed them was tall and thin with a funny moustache on his face which looked a bit like a slug. I hoped it wasn’t a slug. The lady was wearing a tool belt.

‘Thank you,’ Mrs Clover said.

‘I need to undertake a routine check of your vehicle,’ said Mr Green. He pulled a book out of his shirt pocket.

‘Oh, OK.’ Mrs Clover looked unsure.

‘Nice camper van.’ He climbed in and came face to face with me. He jumped; I put a paw up in greeting. ‘A cat?’

‘Yes, funny story, he sort of ended up here, we didn’t mean to bring him—’ Mr Clover explained.

‘I don’t think visiting cats are permitted on our campsite,’ Mr Green said. ‘We have a cat called Humphrey but he lives with us.’ He began looking through his book. ‘We do allow well-behaved dogs, although they must be kept on a lead at all times, but …’ He scratched his head.

Dogs? Did I hear right? I wasn’t sure I wanted to stay now.

‘We promise he’ll be no trouble,’ Stanley said.

The man looked at him, took a whistle out of his pocket and blew it loudly. We all jumped.

‘I’m looking through my rule book and I appreciate silence.’

After a while, he put the book back in his shirt pocket.‘I am not happy but unfortunately I can’t find anything in the rule book about visiting cats. And I can’t break the rules when enforcing the rules, so, against my wishes, he can stay.’

‘Hooray,’ Stanley said; he was silenced by a look.

‘But one whiff of trouble and you’ll be out.’ Mr Green pointed his whistle at me. ‘Enjoy your stay.’ As he left the van, he asked Mrs Green to show us where to park.

We stood outside the van; we were going to look around the campsite.

‘Alfie, you need to stay inside,’ Mr Clover said, lifting me back in. ‘We assured your family we’d take care of you and we can’t risk you getting lost. Or worse,’ he finished.

What could be worse than getting lost? Some holiday this was! But then I noticed an open window. When the coast was clear, I jumped out. There were tents, caravans and other camper vans and in the distance I could see the wood. It was lovely—

‘Hisss.’

I stopped, turned and found myself staring at a plump ginger cat.

[Êàðòèíêà: i_005.jpg]

‘Hello.’ My legs trembled.

‘What are you doing here?’ he asked nastily.

I flashed him my most charming smile.‘I’m Alfie; it’s very nice to meet you.’

‘I said what are you doing here?’

‘I accidentally came on holiday.’

I wondered if he would attack; he was huge.

‘This is my campsite and I don’t need the likes of you on it,’ he said.

‘Humphrey?’ a woman’s voice said. The cat softened as he turned round. ‘Humphrey, it’s teatime,’ the voice repeated.

He narrowed his eyes at me then ran off.

I felt unsettled by my encounter so I went off in search of Stanley and Viola. I came across a small building and snuck in through an open door. Mr and Mrs Clover were sitting at a table with some other adults. I stalked, unobserved, to the back of the room and found Stanley and Viola. Stanley was laughing and joking; there were two other boys and a girl with them. Viola hung back– she seemed to be hiding behind her long hair. I wanted to go to her but Stanley spotted me first.

‘Alfie,’ he whispered, scooping me up and hiding me under his jacket. ‘If anyone sees you, you’ll be in trouble.’

‘Who’s that?’ a boy asked.

‘Alfie, our cat from home,’ Stanley explained. “Well, not exactly our cat. You see, he is and he isn’t.’ I saw the other children look at Stanley in confusion. ‘Oh, but that’s a bit of a long story—’

‘Hey, best not to let Uncle Green see him in here,’ the boy interrupted. ‘Let’s go outside, quick.’

The boy had an accent I hadn’t heard before.

‘Cute cat,’ the girl whispered, as the smallest boy stood beside her. I saw Viola’s cheeks redden as they did when she was around new people.

‘Thank you,’ she said quietly, with a smile.

She could be awfully shy, poor thing. I knew she was nervous about starting her new school when they got back too. I rubbed against her legs to offer support.

Stanley walked out with the boy and girl next to him and Viola went to follow, but Mrs Clover stopped her.

‘Ah, Viola, there you are. Mr Green has said you can see the piano now.’

‘Piano?’ said Viola.

‘Yes, we found a campsite that had one,’ her mother explained. ‘So that you could practise while we were away.’

‘Oh,’ said Viola in a small voice.

It was clear that she wanted to come with us but, instead, she followed her mum to the piano.

Chapter 2 [Êàðòèíêà: i_006.jpg]

As I wandered outside the following morning, I saw Humphrey glaring at me.‘Hi Humphrey.’

‘You still here?’ he replied.

‘Well, I don’t really have a choice,’ I pointed out. ‘It would be nice if we could be friends?’ I raised my whiskers hopefully.

‘I already told you – I don’t like other cats on my campsite.’

I was about to argue, but then rounding the corner were the three children from last night. I discovered, after Stanley had got me safely out of the clubhouse, that they were Nathan, Emily and Jack. Nathan was the oldest at twelve– he was staying with his uncle and aunt, Mr and Mrs Green. He had come from America, which was very far away. Emily and Jack were brother and sister. Emily was ten and Jack was seven. As soon as he spotted them, Humphrey changed; he was nice to children. Stanley stepped out of the van.

‘Hey, Stan, meet Humphrey the campsite cat. He’s really cool,’ Nathan said.

I miaowed. I was cool too.

‘Wow, he’s big. Alfie and he can be friends,’ Stanley said, picking me up.

‘What are we going to do now?’ Jack asked excitedly.

‘There isn’t a whole lot to do here,’ Nathan said. ‘My uncle sure likes his rules, but we can go to the playground, I guess.’

‘Lead the way. I’m an adventurer and generally I can find adventures everywhere,’ Stanley said confidently.

‘Yay!’ Jack said. I wasn’t sure why.

‘Vi, are you coming?’ Stanley shouted into the van.

Viola emerged, smiled shyly at the others and they all set off. I started to follow.

‘You’re coming too?’ Humphrey asked, not sounding thrilled.

‘Yes, I’m an adventurer’s cat, after all,’ I replied huffily.

The playground had seen better days. There were a couple of swings, a slide which was scuffed and rusty, a roundabout which creaked when it moved and a see-saw.

‘We don’t have much to work with to make an adventure,’ Stanley said as he surveyed it.

‘I told you that, pal,’ Nathan said, patting his shoulder.

Jack was on the swing, asking his sister to give him a push, and Viola, I noticed, hung back again. I went to rub myself against her legs, but then I spotted something under a nearby bush. Viola followed me as I dived under it.

‘It’s a football,’ Viola said, as I nudged it to her with my nose.

‘Nice one, Vi,’ Stanley said. ‘Right, we can make an assault course.’

‘What’s an assault course?’ Jack asked, wide-eyed.

‘It’s like a race where we do different things. ‘We can start the course here.’ He walked towards some wooden stumps with a bench at the end. They were all different heights. ‘Right, follow me!’ he said as he climbed from the bench to the tallest one. ‘It’s going to be cool.’ He excitedly explained to everyone how it would work. ‘Right, let’s go,’ Stanley announced.

[Êàðòèíêà: i_007.jpg]

They took it in turns. They had to jump over the bars of the roundabout while the other children spun it, then when a bit dizzy they had to stand on the swing and do ten swings without falling off; run across the see-saw, and finally walk up the slide with the football and then throw it between the swings, like a goal. I had to admit it was impressive, although it didn’t look safe.

‘There’ll be trouble,’ Humphrey grumbled, coming up beside me.

‘Why?’ I asked.

‘It’s against the rules. Mr Green’s rule book clearly states that the playground must only be used as it should be.’

‘But he’s not here,’ I pointed out.

‘Don’t say I didn’t warn you,’ Humphrey replied before climbing a tree to watch. I thought about joining him but then I’m not exactly a fan of trees, having been stuck up one in the past, so I stayed on land.

The children were having a lovely time and Viola started to smile at last. But then I heard,‘peep, peep, peep’. The whistle was loud and a bit too close for comfort.

Jack, who had beenstanding on the swing, fell off. Emily and Viola rushed to him; he’d landed on his bottom.

‘Peep, peep, peep. Just what do you think you are doing?’ Mr Green shouted.

‘Um, Uncle, we were just having a race,’ Nathan explained.

‘Nathan, you should know better. When we invited you to stay we expected you to obey the rules.’ He pulled his book out. ‘You have broken rules 77, 89, 111 and many more. I’ll take that—’ He snatched the football out of Stanley’s arms. ‘Balls can only be played with in the designated ball area, rule 199.’

‘Wow, he likes his rules,’ Stanley said after he’d gone. I miaowed in agreement.

‘Boy does he.’ Nathan looked downcast. ‘It’s not like I even asked to come to stay. I was hoping to spend the summer back home in the US, playing with my friends, but no, because my parents were busy with work, I end up miles from home, in a caravan with Aunt and Uncle Green!’

‘Sorry to hear that, mate.’ Stanley squeezed Nathan’s shoulder sympathetically.

‘What shall we do now?’ Jack asked. Viola looked at Emily but stayed silent.

‘I know a real good trick,’ Nathan said, suddenly grinning.

‘What?’ The others crowded round him.

‘Follow me to the shower block and I’ll show you.’

They all walked off and I made to follow them. I felt Humphrey come up beside me.

‘Hiss,’ he said.

‘What?’ I asked.

‘This is not a good idea. Nathan’s unhappy and I think he’s looking for trouble.’

‘What’s the matter with him?’ I asked, interested. I was a cat who always helped humans in trouble, after all.

‘He’s homesick. Poor kid got sent over here because his parents are working away and he misses home.’

‘That’s something I have some experience of.’ I explained about Stanley and Viola and how I’d accidentally ended up in the van.

‘We’d better go and keep an eye on them; this isn’t going to end well.’ He bounded off and I followed him.

Nathan led them to the back of the shower block. He giggled as the others watched him turn a big tap. Four people, wrapped in towels, heads covered in shampoo, ran out screaming.

‘It’s freezing,’ someone cried.

‘The water’s gone cold,’ someone else shouted. Lots of voices shrieked all at once.

‘You did that?’ Viola asked. She looked cross. Nathan fell about laughing.

‘But we’ll get into trouble,’ Emily said. Jack looked as if he might cry.

‘Run,’ Stanley said; they all ran. I heard the whistle and Mr Green rounded the corner, blowing it furiously. Angry people crowded round him as he tried to pacify them, with Humphrey at his feet.

I found the children sitting outside our van. None of them looked happy.

‘What did you do that for?’ Stanley demanded. ‘We could have got into big trouble.’

‘I don’t know; sometimes I just can’t help myself,’ Nathan admitted. ‘I guess I did it because I miss home.’

‘But getting us into trouble isn’t going to help you,’ Stanley pointed out.

‘Sorry,’ he mumbled.

‘Look, we need to have fun but not get into too much trouble. I know, I have a lot of experience of trouble,’ Stanley said. He did.

‘What can we do now?’ Jack asked.

‘We can play table tennis – there’s a table in a room by the clubhouse. We’re allowed,’ Nathan said.

‘Yay!’ Jack was excited again. As they stood up, Mrs Clover appeared.

‘Viola, it’s time for piano practice – come along.’

Viola looked sadly at the other children as they all ran off.

‘But—’ she started.

‘Chop chop, Viola,’ her mother said.

‘I’ll never make friends at this rate,’ I heard her mumble.

‘What, dear?’ Mrs Clover asked.

‘Nothing, Mum,’ Viola sighed.

Chapter 3 [Êàðòèíêà: i_008.jpg]

Viola was still unhappy the following morning. And no one but me seemed to notice. Mr Clover was loving the fresh air; Mrs Clover was drawing– something she said she never normally had time for. Stanley was happy – all the children were going on a campsite treasure hunt, and he enjoyed being with his new friends. I needed to do something for Viola – it seemed I was her only chance.

The children waited by the clubhouse. Jack was bouncing around, Emily hung back, a bit like Viola– they were so alike they could have been friends, if only one of them would speak! I felt my fur tingle as an idea started coming to me.

‘Guys, listen up. This treasure hunt sucks,’ Nathan said.

‘What doessucks mean?’ Jack asked.

‘It means it’s rubbish,’ Stanley explained – being an adventurer in training meant he was good at international languages.

‘Yeah, it’s rubbish. The prize is some dumb candy.’

‘What’s candy?’ Jack asked.

‘Sweets,’ Stanley said.

‘So, anyway, here’s my plan. How about we all pretend not to understand the clues? It’ll be so funny,’ Nathan suggested.

‘That does sound funny,’ Stanley said.

‘Will we get into trouble?’ Viola asked.

‘Nah, Uncle Green will just think we’re stupid,’ Nathan said.

‘But I really like sweets.’ Jack sounded upset.

‘You can get candy anytime but this will be more fun, trust me,’ Nathan said.

I miaowed– it sounded strange to me – like it could get them into BIG trouble. They really shouldn’t trust him.

‘But, but—’ Jack looked as if he might cry. Emily put her hand on his shoulder.

‘Great, so we’re all agreed. This will be so cool.’ Nathan gave all the children a high-five.

Mr Green approached with a girl I hadn’t seen before. She was about Stanley’s age, with dark hair in bunches and wearing dungarees.

‘Ah, you are all here,’ Mr Green said, blowing his whistle. ‘I do like punctuality. Come on, line up, line up.’

‘I’m Poppy,’ the new girl said. Stanley and Nathan looked at each other, about to tell her what they were up to, but Nathan put his finger to his lip.

‘Yes, sorry, this is Poppy. Her family just arrived so luckily she is just in time for the treasure hunt.’ He blew his whistle again. ‘Not only do we get some fresh air but also we get to exercise the grey matter.’

‘What?’ Jack looked terrified. I thought he probably wouldn’t have to pretend not to get the clues.

‘Your brain,’ Emily explained as Mr Green set off.

I followed them, trying to keep myself hidden from Mr Green. I wasn’t sure if cats were allowed on the treasure hunt. I was pretty sure I wasn’t.

‘Right, first clue. What has leaves but isn’t a tree?’ Mr Green asked.

‘A table?’ Nathan asked. Stanley giggled behind his hand.

‘No, try again,’ Mr Green said. They were standing by the bush which I was hiding under, and as I saw a piece of paper, I realised the answer. I tried to hide myself further as I saw Poppy’s hand reach in and retrieve the clue.

‘A plant! I’ve got it!’ she said triumphantly.

‘Well done, Poppy. At least someone here has some sense,’ Mr Green muttered. As Nathan smirked at Stanley, I saw the girls exchange a look. They didn’t seem happy. ‘Right, on we go. I have pegs but I don’t hang washing,’ Mr Green said.

‘A—’ Viola started to say, but Stanley pushed her out of the way. ‘Ahh,’ she said, nearly falling on me.

‘I’m not sure I understand. What do you mean by pegs?’ Stanley asked. ‘Is it actual washing?’

‘Well done for trying, Stanley, but no.’ Mr Green sounded kind. Viola turned pink and Emily looked at the floor. This wasn’t funny. Not at all.

‘A tent!’ Poppy shouted triumphantly, and she ran round the tents until she found one with a clue pinned to it. She handed the clue to Mr Green.

‘Well done again, Poppy. I really can’t understand why no one else can get the clues.’ Mr Green scratched his head and looked puzzled. Nathan smiled again, and although he hadn’t welcomed me with open arms, I felt very sorry for Mr Green.

‘Ah, this is a good one. Right, what is a cat’s favourite food?’ Mr Green looked hopeful, but the boys looked blankly at him. Viola and Emily were clearly uncomfortable and I knew the answer! Pilchards. Not that I knew where to find them. I only wished I did!

‘Cat food,’ Nathan said. Mr Green shook his head.

‘Is it fish?’ Poppy asked, running towards the shop. The other children watched as she went to the tins of fish and found a clue underneath them. ‘Got it!’

Mr Green looked relieved, and quickly carried on. But the next clues were equally embarrassing. Mr Green patted Poppy’s head each time she got the clues whilst the other children looked blank.

‘Right, last clue. Beneath the house that isn’t a house,’ Mr Green announced. ‘Let’s see if someone other than Poppy can get this one.’

‘I don’t understand,’ Nathan said. I was feeling cross with the children now. They weren’t being nice to either Mr Green or Poppy. I saw that Viola and Emily weren’t happy as they both now stared at the ground and Jack looked close to tears. This wasn’t fun.

‘Well, it’s quite simple. Beneath the house that isn’t a house,’ Mr Green repeated. He sounded impatient.

‘I know, it’s under this caravan!’ Poppy exclaimed and she crawled on the floor, retrieving a bag of sweets.

‘Well done, Poppy.’ Mr Green smiled with relief.

As soon as he’d gone, Nathan and Stanley started laughing.

‘That was such fun,’ Nathan said.

‘Why are you laughing?’ Poppy asked.

‘Well, you see before you arrived we decided to play a trick on Mr Green by not getting any of the clues right,’ Stanley explained.

‘You mean you did it on purpose?’ Poppy said.

‘Yes,’ Viola said. ‘It was Nathan’s idea.’ She looked embarrassed.

‘I didn’t want to do it – I like sweets,’ Jack said. Emily patted his shoulder again.

‘Well, I shan’t be sharing with you, it wasn’t nice,’ Poppy said, clutching the sweets to her chest. The others looked a bit embarrassed.

‘I’m sorry, we didn’t mean to be mean,’ Emily said.

‘We really didn’t,’ Viola added. The two girls exchanged a shy smile.

‘Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ve got sweets in the van and I’ll share them with all of you; even you, Poppy,’ Stanley said. ‘Come on.’

I started after them but a cat-shaped shadow loomed.

‘Hello, Humphrey,’ I said.

‘What business did you have going on the treasure hunt?’ he asked.

‘I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed.’

‘I am getting fed up with you being on my territory.’ He flicked his tail in anger. This was one mean cat.

‘Look, one of my children, Viola, is unhappy, so I need to stay close to see if she’s all right.’

‘Um … Well I do like children, but I’d still prefer it if you could try to keep out of my way as much as possible.’

I bounded off. I didn’t need asking twice.

‘Right, dear,’ Mr Clover announced. He was wearing a rucksack, a big-brimmed hat and carrying a walking stick.

‘What are you doing?’ Mrs Clover asked. She was sitting in a chair with a big drawing pad on her lap.

‘The children told me the treasure hunt was a bit of a disaster, so I am taking them on an adventure, to forage in the wood for fruit or whatever. We might even see a bear,’ he laughed.

‘Oh no!’ Jack hid behind his sister.

‘It’ll be fine, young man, now go and tell your parents and meet me here as quick as you can.’ Stanley and Viola were giggling excitedly as they waited for their friends.

‘Viola,’ Mrs Clover said. ‘You need to do your piano now.’

‘What?’ Viola looked at her mother.

‘Piano now. It’s the only time the clubhouse is free.’

‘But I was going with Dad and the others.’ Her face fell.

‘Nonsense, you can do that anytime – come along.’

I sat next to Viola on the piano stool. I had been desperate to go with the others but Viola needed me. Despite the fact that she was upset, she was playing beautifully.

‘Oh, Alfie,’ she said. She stopped playing and started stroking me. ‘I do love the piano but I wish I could have gone with the others. If I can’t make friends here, how will I ever manage at school?’ She paused.

‘Purr,’ I said in understanding.

‘I wish I was like Stanley – he makes friends so easily – but I really struggle and now I am in here on my own and they’re off having fun. I’ll never have any friends and I’ll probably be on my own for ever!’ She bashed the piano in frustration. I curled on to her lap to comfort her. She sighed and started playing again but I could see she was playing through tears.

That night, the children all sat round a table in the clubroom. I had snuck in again, getting better at this every day. They were still talking about foraging and what they had managed to collect, so Viola felt more left out than ever. No one noticed, but Emily kept shooting her worried glances. I nudged Viola but she didn’t even look at Emily. She was intently staring at the table. I jumped on to her lap and she petted me. I also had a good view of the stage as a spotlight – which was actually Mrs Green holding a torch – shone on it and the curtains were pulled back to reveal Mr Green in a massive top hat andcloak, waving a magic wand. Everyone clapped, although Viola’s was half-hearted.

‘Welcome to my Magnificent Magic Show,’ Mr Green said in a funny voice. ‘I am Magician Green.’ He took his hat off and put it on the table. Nathan rolled his eyes at Stanley.

‘What?’ Stanley whispered.

‘This is going to be awful,’ Nathan replied.

‘Shush,’ Poppy hissed.

‘For my first trick, I shall join these silk scarves,’ he announced with a flourish as he pulled a number of brightly coloured scarves out of his hat. He showed the audience how they were separate. Then he held them in one hand and waved his wand over them.

‘Abracadabra,’ he said, grabbing the end of one scarf; the rest fluttered to the floor.

‘Oh dear,’ he said, hurriedly picking them up. He tried again but the same thing happened. I saw Mrs Clover cover her mouth with her hand and Mr Clover’s mouth twitched. The children all looked confused as Mr Green turned his back and hastily tied a few of them together. Despite the fact thatwe’d all seen him doing this, everyone clapped.

[Êàðòèíêà: i_009.jpg]

‘Thank you, and now for the classic trick of pulling a rabbit out of a hat.’

My goodness, I thought, a rabbit? I wasn’t sure I was keen on rabbits.

‘But as we don’t have a rabbit I am going to produce a cat from my hat.’ Mr Green laughed as did everyone else. Viola looked at me. Mr Green showed the audience that the hat was empty, waved his wand over it and said his magic words. I heard a light laughter start from the adults and then Stanley and Nathan shouted.

‘He’s there!’

As Mr Green was looking in his empty hat, Humphrey had come round to the front of the stage and sat cleaning his paws. He yawned and then lay down.

‘What?’ Mr Green asked.

‘Humphrey – he’s on the stage!’ Nathan shouted and Mr Green looked over and, dithering for a moment, picked him up and shoved him into the hat.

‘MIAOW!’ Humphrey didn’t sound happy as he jumped straight out. The adults were all beside themselves with laughter now and I wasn’t sure whether to feel sorry for Mr Green or not.

‘For my final trick, I have a length of rope.’ He held it up. ‘I am going to cut it into three.’ He took some scissors and cut it. ‘Well, now, if we all say the magic words together it will rejoin.’ He looked hopefully at the audience. ‘Right, one, two, three …’

‘Abracadabra,’ everyone shouted.

Mr Green closed his eyes and held up the end of the rope. He opened them to see the other two pieces flutter to the floor.

‘That wasn’t supposed to happen,’ he said, looking crestfallen. Although Viola was still looking miserable, I put my paw on her arm, and she looked at me, then at poor Mr Green, and she started clapping loudly. Emily’s eyes widened and she joined in. Then the rest of our table, except for Nathan, started cheering and the adults followed suit and Mr Green began to smile. Poor Mrs Green looked confused, though, as she kept the torch shining on her husband.

When it was quiet again, Emily turned to Viola.

‘Well done – it was good you clapped, especially after the whole treasure hunt thing.’

Viola looked at me and smiled.

‘Thanks, Emily, I felt we owed it to him,’ Viola replied.

At least I knew what I needed to do. I needed to get Emily and Viola to become friends and then Viola would realise that she could easily make friends at her new school too. It sounded simple but I still had to figure out just how…

Chapter 4 [Êàðòèíêà: i_010.jpg]

I decided to take one of my nine lives in my paws and seek out Humphrey. I needed a friend and wanted to try to win grumpy Humphrey round. I found him cleaning his fur by the Greens’ caravan.

‘Good morning,’ I said cheerfully.

‘What do you want?’ he asked.

‘Viola is unhappy. She doesn’t find it easy to make new friends. But, I have a plan to cheer her up.’

‘A plan?’

‘Yes, it’s what I do and I need your help. Anyway, Emily, one of the other girls, she’s a bit shy too and I think they would make lovely friends but I need to get them together.’

‘How?’

‘That’s the thing – I’m not sure yet but I thought you might have some ideas.’

‘Me?’ Humphrey looked uncertain.

‘I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important and it’s not for me but for Viola.’

‘Humph.’ Humphrey didn’t look happy. ‘I will help with the girl …’ He sounded reluctant.

That was as good as I could expect, and it had to be better than nothing, surely?

Help also came in the guise of Poppy. She was bossy and didn’t like sharing but when it came to adults, she was always very nice. She even told Mr Green it was the best magic show she’d ever seen and I couldn’t believe that was true.

I heard a knock on the van door; Mrs Clover opened it.

‘Hello, Mrs Clover, it’s a nice day, isn’t it? I like your hair, have you had it styled?’ Poppy asked.

‘Oh well, not really, dear; do come in.’ Mrs Clover stood aside and patted her hair, which was a terrible mess as usual.

‘Hi, Poppy,’ Stanley said.

‘I’ve organised a Swingballtournament,’ Poppy told him.

‘Is that an invitation or an order?’ Stanley asked. I wasn’t sure he liked Poppy.

‘We’ll just put our shoes on and come,’ Viola said. She swatted Stanley on the arm.

I followed them over to Poppy’s caravan; it was one of the best ones on the site, according to her, anyway. I had never seen a Swingballbefore– it was a pole with a string and a tennis ball attached. Poppy was brandishing two bats. Nathan, Jack and Emily were crowded round.

‘Right, as I was explaining, the winner of each game will go on to play each other until we have a final winner. I’ll play Jack, then the winner plays Stanley, then Emily, Nathan and Viola.’

‘Does that make sense?’ Stanley asked.

‘No idea, but let’s get on with it – we’ll be here all vacation otherwise,’ Nathan mumbled.

‘Wow, you’re good,’ Jack said as, after failing to hit the ball more than once, Poppy was declared the winner of the first game.

Feeling like having a bit of fun, I jumped for the ball, missed it and slipped. Luckily, I managed to land on my feet.

‘Yowl!’ I cried. The children laughed.

‘Alfie, we need to take this seriously,’ Poppy said. So I leapt again. This time I managed to swipe the ball with my paw and everyone clapped.

[Êàðòèíêà: i_011.jpg]

‘Right, Alfie, enough messing around, we really DO have to take this seriously,’ Poppy said. She was SO bossy.

‘Miaow!’ I was having fun.

‘Oh, let Alfie play. He’s funny,’ Stanley said.

‘No, Stanley Clover, this is a serious game for people only.’

As I raised my tail in anger, I wondered if perhaps Poppy and Mr Green were related after all.

I chased some leaves, cleaned myself and watched as Viola was declared the winner.

‘Wow, Vi, you were awesome,’ Stanley said. I pricked my ears up. This should help her confidence.

‘Yeah, I have to hand it to you – you beat me fair and square,’ Nathan said good-naturedly.

‘You were brilliant, Viola,’ Emily stammered.

Viola beamed.

‘The prize is that the winner gets to choose what we do next,’ Poppy declared. ‘So, Viola, it’s up to you.’

‘But that’s no good – she’ll only have to go and practise,’ Stanley said. I wanted to cover my ears with my paws; that was the last thing Viola needed to hear. Viola looked upset and ran off.

‘Stanley,’ Emily said, voice barely above a whisper.

‘What? What did I do?’ Stanley asked, looking confused.

‘OK, so Stanley, as her brother, then you get to choose,’ Poppy decided.

‘But shouldn’t someone go after Viola?’ Emily asked, but no one seemed to hear.

‘It’s calledSpyhunter,’ Stanley said as they all stood on the roundabout in the playground. Stanley was wearing a hat with flappy ears – one I often wore when Stanley dressed me up as his Adventurer’s cat – and holding a magnifying glass. ‘I’ll be the hunter and you guys are all spies so you have to hide andI’ll catch you.’

‘So, basically we are playing hide-and-seek,’ Poppy said.

‘No, we’re playingSpyhunter, it’s totally different. It’s an adventurer’s game,’ Stanley argued. He stood facing a tree trunk as Stanley counted to one hundred. Then he ran off; I struggled to keep up.

‘Ha, spy, got you,’ he said as he found Jack hiding under a bush, his bottom sticking out. I think it was the worst hiding I’d ever seen.

He managed to round up Poppy and Emily fairly quickly, so that just left Nathan. We all searched for him, looking everywhere we could think of, until the only place that remained was the clubhouse.

‘I’m going in,’ Stanley announced.

‘But we’re not allowed. Remember, Mr Green said we could only go in there with adult supervision.’ Emily looked worried. The other children agreed.

‘OK, you guys stay here and I’ll go.’ Stanley tried to look brave as he pushed open the door. I followed him inside. We looked under all the tables, by the small bar and even behind the piano but there was no sign of Nathan. Suddenly, we spotted a moving curtain, which hung behind the stage.

‘Ah ha, there he is,’ Stanley whispered and gesturing for me to be quiet, we made our way over. ‘Got you, spy,’ Stanley shouted triumphantly.

‘You sure have.’ Nathan smiled. He was sitting by a big box which seemed to have wooden people in it, attached to strings. I poked my nose into the box. I had never seen such things before. Just as I was about to take a closer look, ‘PEEP!’ I jumped and landed on my tail. Ouch.

‘What are you two doing here?’ Mr Green’s voice boomed.

‘Sorry, Uncle, we were playing hide—’

‘I don’t care – you shouldn’t be here. Nathan, all you do is get into trouble, and as for you.’ He pointed at Stanley. ‘I just don’t know. I shall be speaking to your parents. Now scram – I have my important puppet show tonight, so I need to concentrate on that. I’ll work out whatto do with you later.’

‘Is everything all right?’ Mrs Green appeared. She was holding a hammer. ‘I’ve just come from fixing a shelf in the shop,’ she explained.

‘No, it is not.’ Mr Green pointed at Nathan and Stanley.

‘Oh, don’t worry about that now. You need to be calm for your big show tonight. Come with me and I’ll make you a nice cup of tea.’ Mrs Green winked at the boys before leading him away.

‘Now we’ve had it,’ Stanley said.

‘He might have to send me back to the States now,’ Nathan said happily.

‘So is that what this is all about?’ said Stanley. ‘It’s all right for you, but I don’t actually want to get thrown off the campsite – my parents will go mad.’

‘Hey, calm down, I’ll take the blame. Although you might change your mind when you have to sit through the worst puppet show in the world ever.’

‘Is it that bad?’

‘You thought his magic show was pretty crummy?’ Nathan asked.

Stanley nodded.

‘Well, this is a thousand times worse. Tonight is going to be the opposite of fun.’ Nathan patted Stanley on the shoulder.

I could feel my fur tingle. I was thinking of a plan, and it was almost there. It was so brilliant. The puppets, Viola and the piano. In order to build Viola’s confidence, what would be better than for her to play the piano in the clubhouse? But Mr Green had a monopoly on the entertainment – although I wasn’t quite sure how entertaining he actually was – so how could it be achieved? I rushed off to find Humphrey.

He was outside one of the tents, eating as usual.

‘Hello,’ I said, trying to sound charming.

‘What now?’ Humphrey asked. He finished eating and cleaned his whiskers.

‘I really need your help. You see I have a plan to help Viola but I’m not sure how to go about it.’ I outlined my idea.

‘OK, so in order for your plan to work, we need to sabotage Mr Green’s puppet show?’

Humphrey tilted his head, as if he was weighing it up.‘If it’s for the girl, then I’ll help. I’ve got a bit of a soft spot for her. Look, why don’t we sneak into the clubhouse and hide the puppets.’ As he explained the way my plan could work, I was overjoyed. It turned out Humphrey was quite a clever cat after all.

I lay on one of the benches in the van. It had been exhausting hiding the puppets. We had to get them in our mouths and drag them unseen to the place Humphrey chose– under the caravan. And now all I had to do was to get Viola to play the piano. I wasn’t going to fail. Even Humphrey thought it could work.

[Êàðòèíêà: i_012.jpg]

I followed my family to the clubhouse that evening. I was trembling with nerves and excitement. This was it, my big moment to help Viola.

It was chaos. As everyone sat waiting for the entertainment, Mr Green was hysterical. His wife was trying to calm him down.

‘Nathan, are you sure you didn’t take my puppets?’ Mr Green asked.

‘No, Uncle. As soon as we left the clubhouse I went with Stanley to help his dad get food for supper.’

The Clovers approached.

‘What seems to be the matter?’ Mr Clover asked.

‘I was supposed to perform my puppet show this evening, but somehow my puppets have disappeared. These boys were the last to see them.’ Mr Green pointed at Nathan and Stanley. Oops, I hadn’t thought about the boys getting into trouble.

‘Stanley, do you know anything about this?’ Mr Clover asked.

‘No, I really absolutely don’t. Dad, we’ve been with you all afternoon.’ Stanley stated.

‘Yes, that’s true; Mr Green actually Nathan was most helpful.’

‘What are we going to do?’ Mr Green shrieked. ‘We have a clubhouse full of people who need entertaining.’

It was my big moment. Humphrey was sitting by the door. He raised his tail. I ran over to the piano, sat on the stool, raised my paw and bashed some keys.

‘Look,’ Jack said, pointing. ‘Alfie the cat is playing the piano.’ He laughed.

I jumped on to the keys and tried to play more. Now everyone was laughing. Then, as I planned, Viola came and joined me. She stroked me, sat down beside me and started to play. As the most beautiful music filled the clubhouse, everyone was silent. When she finished her song, she stood up.

‘Oh no, please carry on,’ Mrs Green said. ‘I’ve never heard such wonderful playing.’

‘Humph,’ Mr Green said. ‘And that cat is not supposed to be here.’

‘Oh, one night won’t hurt. Please, Viola?’ Mrs Green said.

‘But …’ Viola stammered.

‘Go on, Vi, you’re the best piano prodigy ever,’ Stanley shouted and then the audience started chanting.

‘MORE, MORE, MORE.’ Viola blushed and smiled shyly at me. I gave her my most reassuring look, and tickled her with my tail.

When Viola finished, everyone was standing up, clapping and cheering. Her cheeks were flushed pink and she was beaming. My plan had worked. As the evening drew to a close and everyone started to leave, she was congratulated over and over.

Emily hovered.‘Wow, you are so good,’ she muttered.

‘Thank you,’ Viola blushed.

‘Maybe tomorrow, I mean, if it’s OK, can I come and watch you practise?’ Emily asked.

‘I’d love that.’ Viola’s smile stretched across her whole face and so did my grin.

Chapter 5 [Êàðòèíêà: i_013.jpg]

I heard soft footsteps. Luckily my hearing is amazing, being a cat. I got up from where I’d been sleeping and spotted a shadowy figure: Stanley. He was quietly gathering food, putting it in a bag. What was he up to? No one else woke. Mr Clover was snoring – he sounded like a very noisy train, and if Mrs Clover and Viola could sleep through that, nothing would wake them. I crept outof the van after Stanley; I had a bad feeling.

He made his way through the dark, using his torch, to the edge of the woods. I was surprised to see the rest of the children already there. They were wearing jumpers over their pyjamas as they laid out a rug and piled up snacks.

‘Our midnight feast,’ Nathan announced.

‘With ghost stories,’ Stanley added.

‘It’s going to be sooo cool!’ Jack said excitedly.

‘I know a really good story,’ Poppy said in her bossy voice.

‘Where’s Viola?’ Emily asked.

‘Oh. Oh dear, I forgot to tell her, what with so much going on,’ Stanley said. He hung his head.

‘Can’t you go and get her?’ Poppy suggested.

‘No way – if I go back, I might wake everyone up and then we’ll be in trouble. I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to forget her.’

‘Right, I’m going to tell the first story,Nathan said, as he shone a torch at his face.

[Êàðòèíêà: i_014.jpg]

‘You look spooky,’ Jack said, snuggling closer to his sister.

‘Once there was this old house in the middle of a forest—’ Nathan started.

‘What was that?’ Jack almost jumped on to Emily’s lap.

‘I think it came from the wood; what is it?’ Poppy asked.

‘You don’t think it’s a bear?’ Jack asked.

‘Can I get on with my story?’ Nathan said, but a bright torch shone in the distance.

‘It’s Mr Green!’ Stanley exclaimed.

‘RUN!’ Nathan shouted.

I wasn’t sure who to follow as they all ran off in different directions. I went after Stanley, who had followed Poppy. Mr Green was getting nearer, and I heard an almighty scream. Poppy was lying on the ground on top of a tent which she had managed to pull down. The people staying in the tent were trying to crawl out.

‘What on earth is going on?’ they screeched. Poppy burst into tears. Stanley went to help her and Mr Green appeared in his stripy pyjamas. Mrs Green ran up behind him.

‘What is happening?’ he bellowed. The commotion from the tent had woken the whole campsite and when I saw everyone coming out of their caravans, tents and vans, I knew we were in big trouble.

‘What on earth is going on, Stanley?’ Mrs Clover shouted as she, Mr Clover and Viola approached.

‘We thought we’d have a midnight feast,’ Stanley started.

‘It was my idea,’ Nathan admitted.

‘I got scared,’ Jack piped up. Emily was holding his hand. ‘I think there’s a grizzly bear in the wood.’

‘Midnight feasts are against the rules. Rule 378 to be precise,’ Mr Green stated.

The adults looked sleepy and cross.

‘Stanley, I despair of you. At least Viola was sensible and didn’t go,’ Mrs Clover said.

‘I wasn’t invited,’ Viola shouted. She turned and ran back to the van.

‘Right, well, I have to help these poor people put their tent back up,’ Mrs Green said, holding a mallet.

‘Nathan, you go straight to bed, and as for the rest of you, I’ve a good mind to throw you out,’ Mr Green shouted.

‘Mr Green,’ Mrs Clover said. ‘I really am sorry and I promise that I’ll punish Stanley, and I’m sure the other parents will tell their children off too, but please let us stay – we are having such a wonderful holiday.’

‘Yes, it’s the nicest campsite we’ve ever been to,’ Poppy’s dad added. Soon all the adults were begging Mr Green for another chance.

‘I shall sleep on it tonight and we’ll see,’ Mr Green huffed.

As the children were taken off to bed and the adults returned to where they were sleeping, I was wondering how a holiday could be so exhausting…

My triumph with Viola and the piano-playing was short-lived. The following morning, everyone was tired and grumpy with each other.

‘Vi, I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you out but I just forgot.’

‘Great, so you can forget I exist. What am, the invisible sister? I know why I’ll never make any friends in my new school – no one ever even remembers me.’ She had tears in her eyes.

‘That’s not—’

‘Stop talking to me, Stan.’ I had never heard Viola so cross.

[Êàðòèíêà: i_015.jpg]

I went to see the rest of the children, but they were all miserable and being kept a close eye on so I sought out Humphrey who was lying beside the clubhouse, in a sunny spot.

‘Hello,’ I said.

‘What’s wrong with you?’ he asked.

‘The kids are in trouble again. Everyone’s miserable and I’m back to square one.’

‘Yes, I heard. Mr Green was raging about it this morning. Mrs Green had to give him four sausages to calm him down!’

‘He threatened to throw us out.’

‘He won’t, though, Mrs Green will see to that.’

‘I just don’t know what to do. I thought I’d helped Viola but now, with her being left out, she’s upset again!’

‘Humans aren’t as clever as us cats, which is the problem. Look, why don’t I give you a tour of my favourite spots? Maybe it’ll help you come up with ideas.’ I was startled. Was Humphrey actually being nice to me?

‘But don’t get any ideas. I’m only doing what any decent cat would do,’ he added.

We sat under one of the fattest bushes I’d ever seen. As I swiped at a fly and pulled on some leaves, I did start to feel better. We’d been almost round the whole campsite, and very pleasant it had been too.

‘The thing is, Alfie, that Viola is worried about her new school and making friends, and this holiday is making it worse because she hasn’t been able to join in,’ said Humphrey.

‘Yeah, the piano practice. Her parents make her do it when the others are having fun. If she practised early in the morning then she’s free all day, but no one seems to have thought of that.’

[Êàðòèíêà: i_016.jpg]

‘It’s a bit late now. You’ve only got a even at this late couple of days left. But if she could be more involved with the other children, stage, she might feel better about starting school.’

‘Exactly. Which is why I thought last night was such a good idea. Emily reached out to her but the midnight feast ruined everything.’

‘Hmmm, it’s not an easy one. Let’s go to the playground, I’ll show you my favourite tree. It’s not too high, before you start getting funny.’

I sat on a low branch; Humphrey was above me. It was such a lovely day and we could see much of the campsite. The Clovers were sitting outside the van; they didn’t look happy, even from here.

‘Look,’ Humphrey said. ‘I think you’re right – we need to get Viola and Emily to be friends.’

‘But how?’ I asked.

‘We’ve got the rest of today to come up with something. Let’s meet in the morning. Right now I need something to eat.’ He ran down the tree with ease and I followed him, a little more slowly.

‘It’s been a great tour; thanks for agreeing to help.’

‘I told you, it’s for the girl, not you.’

I went back to the van to be met by an angry Mrs Clover.

‘Where have you been? Don’t you think I’ve got enough to worry about without losing you? Goodness, Alfie, you’re almost as bad as Stanley.’

As I slunk inside in disgrace, I joined Stanley and Viola, who were sulking, and I sulked right along with them.

That evening, Mr and Mrs Clover took the children to the clubhouse as usual.

‘I thought we had to stay in,’ Stanley said.

‘Mr Green wants everyone there to watch his puppet show,’ Mr Clover explained. ‘And after what happened, it’s the very least we can do.’ Ah, Humphrey said he’d found the puppets. ‘Now come along.’

It seemed that the puppet show was going to be our punishment, as Stanley plonked me on his lap to watch.

The stage was set up with what Stanley explained was a puppet theatre. Mr Green was behind it and we could see two puppets covered by a curtain. I wasn’t sure if this was how it was supposed to be but I could see the strings and Mr Green’s sleeves flapping away.

‘Hello,’ a high-pitched voice which seemed to belong to a girl puppet said. Ah, I got it, Mr Green was doing the voices. The girl puppet moved across the stage. ‘I’m Little Red Riding Hood and I’m visiting my grandma with a basket of fruit.’

THUD. A basket appeared through the curtain and fell on the floor.

‘Oops,’ Mr Green’s voice said before he remembered himself. ‘Oops,’ he said again in the girl’s voice. Mrs Green rushed on to the stage and handed the basket back through to her husband. The girl disappeared and in her place came something that looked like an ugly dog.

‘Hello, children.’ The voice wasn’t that dissimilar to the little girl, although a bit meaner. ‘I am the Big Bad Wolf, I am going to Grandma’s house and I’m going to eat her up.’

I snuggled into Stanley’s lap. I was a bit scared.

‘Oh boy,’ Nathan said as the wolf then got tangled in the curtain and clattered to the floor. Mrs Green ran on to the stage again, picked him up and quickly gave him to Mr Green.

Things went properly wrong when the wolf met Grandma, an old lady puppet.

‘Hello, I am here to eat you up,’ the wolf said as the wolf puppet collided with Grandma.

CRASH. BANG.

‘Ouch,’ Mr Green’s voice said as the puppets disappeared. We all watched in horror as the wooden puppet theatre slowly tipped backwards and fell.

‘Ahhhhh, help,’ Mr Green cried.

Mrs Green rushed forward, as did Mr and Mrs Clover. As they lifted the puppet theatre, we saw Mr Green tangled up in the puppets’ string. Mrs Green pulled off her tool belt and set to work, finally freeing Mr Green.

The room was silent. No one knew whether to laugh or cry; even the children looked shocked. Mr Green shook his head and walked off and Mrs Green was left standing there.

‘Sorry, folks, things do go wrong sometimes, but I hope you all had a good evening, and goodnight.’

It was a glum end to a glum day and the children weren’t allowed to play together as they were all marched off to bed.

Chapter 6 [Êàðòèíêà: i_017.jpg]

I was growing fond of Mrs Green. That morning when I found Humphrey, she was there. She gave me some scrambled egg, which I liked; I’d accidentally tried a few of Mr Clover’s eggs before. We sat outside their caravan while I ate.

‘How are things today?’ he asked.

‘Better. But not great. Viola’s still sad.’

‘That’s bad.’

‘I know, she was so upset at being left out of the midnight feast.’

‘Oh, by the way.’ Humphrey scratched behind his ears. ‘I heard Mrs Green telling Mr Green that instead of throwing all the children out, they should give them a project to do. My suggestion is you keep an eye on them, and look for opportunities.’

‘I like your thinking. What about you?’

‘I need to do my campsite rounds and then take a nap. Alfie, remember Mr Green doesn’t like you being here, so try to keep a low profile.’

‘Thanks, Humphrey, you are being great about all this.’

‘Yes, but don’t forget—’

‘I know – it’s not for me, it’s for Viola.’

‘Exactly.’ But as he grinned, I knew I was cracking this cat.

Mr Green rounded everyone up.‘We’re having a big picnic on your last day.’

The children cheered.‘Yes, well, no need for that. Rule 244 states no unwarranted overexcitement.’

‘What does that mean?’ Jack asked; Emily gave him a gentle kick.

‘As I was saying, we have a picnic for the whole campsite which we hold over there at the edge of the woods.’ He pointed to the clearing that Humphrey and I explored yesterday.

‘So what can we do?’ Mrs Clover asked.

‘Well, my wife suggested that the children could make some decorations for the picnic. In the clubhouse we have materials to make bunting for the trees, and we have lots of baskets to decorate. What do you think?’

‘I think it’s an excellent idea, Mr Green, and will definitely keep them out of trouble,’ Mr Clover laughed.

‘Right, well, good. I’ll leave you all to go directly to the clubhouse and get creative.’ Mr Green blew his whistle.

I felt pleased by the turn of events as I followed the children to the clubhouse. Stanley and Nathan ran in and straight up to the table where Mr Green had put the craft supplies; Jack tried to keep up with them. Poppy, Emily and Viola followed.

‘I know all about bunting so I should be in charge of that,’ Poppy said.

‘What’s bunting?’ Nathan asked.

‘Sort of like flags, tied together, that you hang up,’ Poppy explained. ‘Anyway, I’ll make it.’

‘I can help you,’ Jack said eagerly. Poppy nodded.

‘What shall we do?’ Stanley said. Nathan shrugged.

‘I know, why don’t you paint a sign sayingCurly Wood’s Picnic 2016,’ Viola suggested quietly.

[Êàðòèíêà: i_018.jpg]

‘Hey, not a bad idea,’ Nathan said. I felt a tingling in my fur again.

This was what I needed. Viola was really creative, so I just needed to nudge her forward a bit. I jumped on her lap to give her confidence.

‘Miaow,’ I said loudly. Viola giggled.

‘Viola is so good at stuff like this,’ Stanley said; she blushed.

It worked, Viola was gaining confidence as ideas flowing. She helped Poppy and Jack make different-coloured bunting and even suggested painting the American flag on some of them in honour of Nathan. Then she and Emily started decorating baskets with flowers and ribbons. They started talking more; I was beside myself with happiness as they giggled and chatted happily.

‘We live in Bristol. It’s nice there but I have been to London once,’ Emily said.

‘We’ve just moved there – I have to go to music school,’ Viola explained.

‘Well, you are brilliant.’

‘Thanks, but it’s scary starting a new school and I was sad to leave my friends. I miss them.’ Viola smiled sadly.

‘You can always make new friends, though,’ Emily said.

Just then there was a commotion; we all looked over to where Nathan and Stanley were flicking paint at each other.

‘Yelp!’ I went over to them crossly; this was not a time for getting into trouble. Emily and Viola exchanged a look.

‘YOWL.’ I felt my legs slip beneath me as I skidded on some paint. BUMP! I landed on my bottom and flew headfirst into a table. Then I could only watch in horror as a pot of paint jumped from the table. SPLAT! The sticky green paint slowly rolled down my fur.

[Êàðòèíêà: i_019.jpg]

‘Whoops, sorry, I didn’t mean to make Alfie slip over,’ Nathan looked upset.

‘Oh, Alfie!’ Viola shouted, rushing over, although she didn’t touch me.

‘What have you done?’ Poppy shouted. ‘Now we’ll be in trouble again.’

‘It was an accident,’ Stanley said.

‘Alfie’s green!’ Jack exclaimed.

I ran round in circles. It seemed I was in for a bath and I really hated baths.

‘I know – there’s a sink in the back room,’ Nathan suggested. ‘If we clean him in there, maybe no one will know?’

‘But it’s paint. It doesn’t just come off easily and it’s all in his fur!’ Poppy sounded more distressed than I was.

‘Dad has that stuff that cleans paint off his hands. It must be safe to use on fur if you can use it on skin,’ Viola said.

‘But is it safe for cats?’ Emily asked.

‘It doesn’t say so on the bottle, but then they probably don’t have to get paint off many cats,’ Stanley pointed out.

‘It’ll be fine, said Viola. Look, Stanley, take Alfie into the sink. Nathan, you go with him. Poppy and Jack, keep watch for Mr Green and if he appears, distract him, and Emily, we can go to the van and get the cleaner.’

I was impressed, if not still annoyed, as Viola mobilised the troops. I realised that this girl had so much going for her– she was talented, creative and clever so why didn’t she see what I saw?

I went to find Humphrey. Yet again, I needed help. It was as if we took a paw forward and then a paw backwards when it came to solving problems. At least I was no longer green, although the scrubbing took a bit more effort than I would have liked and I smelt funny. Humphrey was eating some fine-looking sardines outside a holidaymaker’s tent. No wonder he didn’t want me around.

‘Hi,’ I said sadly.

‘Oh boy, what now?’

‘It was all going so well, Viola was brilliant at making the decorations for the picnic, but then …’ I told him about the paint incident.

‘I wish I’d seen that,’ he chortled.

‘Well, anyway, back to the problem.’ I gave him a look. ‘The thing is that they cleaned me up, and they were laughing and all getting along but then Mrs Clover arrived and said she was organising the children to decorate the picnic baskets to keep them out of trouble.’

‘Get to the point, Alfie, I’ve got fish to finish.’

‘They were all excited, but then Mrs Clover told Viola that she had to practise her piano.’

‘Oh.’

‘And Viola begged her to let her do it later, but Mrs Clover said it was impossible because Mr Green had to set up for Bingo, and that she could do picnic baskets later.’

‘Viola’s feeling left out again?’

‘Yes, just as she and Emily were getting close.’

‘Poor kid.’

‘So what am I going to do?’

‘I’m not sure Alfie, but hey, look, we will come up with something, and in the meantime why don’t you share some of my sardines. You look like you need cheering up.’

Maybe Humphrey was my friend after all.

Chapter 7 [Êàðòèíêà: i_020.jpg]

‘No we can’t do that,’ Emily was saying. What?

I was trying to listen in to the children in the playground.

‘Come on, it’ll be so cool,’ Nathan said. ‘It’s boring here. We’ll go to the woods, find the place where Stanley’s dad took us and see if we can spot any bears.’

‘There are no bears,’ Poppy said.

‘Well, come with us to find out for sure,’ Nathan challenged.

‘But we’ll get in so much trouble,’ Emily complained.

‘No one will know we’ve even gone, they’re so busy getting ready for the picnic,’ Nathan argued.

‘I know; as an adventurer I’ve got a very good idea. I’ll go and get some peanuts and we can leave a trail so we definitely absolutely won’t get lost,’ Stanley suggested.

‘Well, I’m not going and, Jack, you shouldn’t either,’ Emily said.

‘But, but …’ Jack looked at the older boys.

‘YOWL,’ I shouted. I was with Emily.

‘Oh, Alfie, it’ll be fine.’ Stanley patted my head and ran off.

After they left, Emily was alone. She was upset and so was I. Those children really shouldn’t have gone into the woods, and goodness knows what Mr Green would do when he found out. I had to act fast, so I went to find Viola.

As soon as I spotted her I yowled, and howled and yelped with all my might.

‘Goodness, Alfie, whatever is wrong?’

I headed for the playground; she followed me and found Emily crying.

‘What’s wrong, Em?’ she asked, putting her arm round her friend.

‘They’ve all gone to the woods – to the place where your dad took us the other day.’

‘What?’ Viola was concerned.

‘What are we going to do?’ Emily asked.

‘Hope they come back before anyone notices?’ Viola suggested.

Not really what I was thinking but, hey, I could go with that.

Emily and Viola looked worried as they wandered about the campsite. Every time they saw one of the adults they had to keep dodging questions about where the others were.

‘Lunchtime,’ Mrs Clover shouted finally. ‘Where’s Stanley?’

‘I think he’s having lunch with Nathan,’ Viola said quickly.

After lunch they still weren’t back. Viola and Emily were worried.

‘What do you think can have happened to them?’ said Emily.

‘I hope they haven’t got lost,’ said Viola.

[Êàðòèíêà: i_021.jpg]

I went to find Humphrey. He was sunbathing.‘We have to go to the wood,’ I said.

‘What? Why?’ Humphrey listened as explained. ‘But how will we know where to find them? The wood’s massive.’

Ah, I hadn’t thought of that. But then I had a brainwave. ‘Emily – she went with Mr Clover, she might know.’

We ran off to find the girls, who were back in the playground.‘Hurry up, we have to get going.’

‘We need to tell our parents,’ Viola was saying, as they stood by the swings.

‘They’ll be in so much trouble,’ Emily said. ‘But I don’t know what else to do.’

I made as much noise as I could, even making Humphrey jump, and as the girls looked at me I ran off in the direction of the wood.

‘No, Alfie,’ Viola shouted, but I ran as fast as I could, Humphrey beside me, and the girls had no choice but to follow.

Sometimes, I need to think out my plans more clearly. I was in the wood but had no idea which direction to go in. I then stopped and looked around; Humphrey was calmly sitting next to me. I ran round in circles, unable to get my bearings, before I tripped on a stick.

‘Yelp.’

‘Oh, Alfie.’ Viola scooped me up. Humphrey made a face and Emily looked worried. ‘What are we going to do?’

‘I guess, now we’re in the wood, we could find them,’ Emily said tentatively. ‘I remember the way we went. It’s not far.’

‘OK, we don’t really have a choice,’ Viola said, setting me down on the ground. We all set off.

‘I’m not sure this was your best idea,’ Humphrey said grumpily; the ground was very uncomfortable.

‘You didn’t have to come,’ I pointed out.

‘Who else will save you from trouble?’

I muttered under my breath,‘What trouble?’

The uneven ground crackled underneath my paws, which made me uneasy. From up above came rustling sounds and strange-sounding bird noises. It was a little scary. I soon decided the woods weren’t my favourite ever place, as shadows loomed; it went from dark to light in an instant and I felt more and more nervous. I stumbled on yet another stone and tried to regain my balance.

‘YELP!’ I jumped as a furry thing with a bushy tail stood in front of me. I started trembling.

‘It’s just a squirrel, Alfie,’ Humphrey laughed, as he walked past it.

Before long we spotted them; they were clinging to a tree.

‘What are you doing?’ Viola shouted breathlessly, as we reached them.

‘Well, you see there was a bear,’ Jack started.

‘You saw a bear?’ Emily asked. I had a quick glance around. I hoped it wasn’t still here.

‘Not exactly but we sure heard one,’ Nathan said.

‘You see, we left a trail of peanuts, so we’d be able to find our way back,’ Stanley explained. ‘And we got here and carved our names on the tree trunk, did some adventuring and started to go back but the peanuts had been eaten. We heard a bear so we were all hugging this tree for safety.’

‘I’m hungry,’ Poppy cried.

‘I don’t think there’s a bear,’ Viola said sensibly. ‘In fact, I am sure you can’t get bears in these parts.’

‘But a bear must have eaten the peanuts,’ Jack said; he was trembling.

‘You’ll find that was the squirrels,’ Viola said. ‘There’s loads of them.’

I could vouch for that.

‘Come on, let’s go – we’ll get you home. Emily’s so good at directions,’ Viola said.

‘Thanks.’ Emily was pink. ‘And hopefully no one will know you were missing.’

But as I looked at them, covered in dirt, I was pretty sure they would.

Sure enough, Mr and Mrs Green and all the adults were standing by the playground when we got back. I was tired; it had been a long walk. Humphrey went to stand behind Mrs Green.

‘Where on earth have you been?’ Mr Green shouted.

[Êàðòèíêà: i_022.jpg]

Nathan hung his head.‘We went to the woods.’

‘Without an adult?’

Nathan nodded.

‘You have broken rules 3, 7,10, 17, and, well, just about every rule in the book.’ He looked very cross, as Mrs Green put her hand on her husband’s arm; but even she looked angry.

‘It was my idea,’ Nathan admitted.

‘Stanley, you should have known better,’ Mrs Clover bellowed. ‘We were worried, worried sick.’

‘Sorry, Mum. We weren’t going to be long but we kind of got lost. Viola and Emily rescued us,’ Stanley said. Everyone looked at Viola and Emily.

‘That’s all well and good but you should have come to get us.’ Mr Green blew his whistle.

‘We were going to,’ Viola said, her voice barely above a whisper. ‘But then Alfie ran into the wood, so we had to go after him, then Emily remembered where they went with Dad.’

‘Ah, I see,’ Mrs Green said.

‘And Em wouldn’t come with us in the first place. She told us we shouldn’t go,’ Jack added.

‘Good girl, Emily,’ her father said.

‘Right, well, girls, you deserve a reward. You can have pizza in the clubhouse tonight,’ Mrs Green said.

‘But the rest of you – you should really all be thrown off the campsite, the amount of rules you’ve broken,’ Mr Green added.

‘But tomorrow is their last day,’ Mrs Green pointed out. ‘And we’ve got the picnic so they can’t get into any more trouble. Nathan, go to the caravan and stay there.’

Mr Green looked as if he was going to argue but he didn’t.

All the other children were grounded, so I went with Viola and Emily to the clubhouse that night. Outside, Humphrey was eating tuna; he gestured to a second bowl.

‘That’s for you. A reward for rescuing the kids,’ he said, and we shared a pleasant dinner together.

Chapter 8 [Êàðòèíêà: i_023.jpg]

We woke to pouring rain and everyone worrying about the picnic.

Stanley was busy trying to be good; Viola was reading and Mr and Mrs Clover were chatting about what they were going to do when they got home, when there was a knock on the door. Mr Green, wearing an enormous coat and hat, stood outside. He looked cheerful. I wondered if it was because it was our last day.

‘I won’t come in, I’ll drip all over your van, but Mrs Green and I had a chat and we thought that we’d move the picnic into the clubhouse. The children can go over and get decorating.’

Both Stanley and Viola perked up at that. As they put on raincoats and left the van, I braved the weather and went with them. I shook myself off as I went inside. The others were already there, but they didn’t seem very happy.

‘Hi,’ Stanley said cheerfully. The others grumbled their response.

‘Shall we start decorating now?’ Viola suggested.

‘Not with him,’ Poppy said, pointing at Nathan.

‘Why?’ Viola asked.

‘All week he’s been trying to get us into trouble. My parents took away my pocket money,’ Poppy explained.

‘And mine were very cross,’ Jack added.

‘It’s true you really have got us all in trouble,’ Stanley pointed out. Nathan looked at everyone, then stomped off.

‘Miaow.’ I ran after him; he went to the backstage room, sat on one of the boxes and crossed his arms. I felt sorry for him, although he did keep getting them into trouble, but it was because he was unhappy. I jumped up on to a box next to him. He stroked me sadly.

‘No one likes me any more,’ he said to me. I purred and nestled into him.

After a while, Viola appeared.

‘Nathan, are you all right?’ Viola asked.

‘Everyone hates me,’ he said.

‘No, they don’t, they’re just upset. You have to admit that saying it would be OK to go to the woods was a bit dumb.’

‘Yeah, real dumb. The thing is, I’ve been so homesick that I thought that if I caused a bit of trouble my uncle and aunt might send me back.’

I rubbed his arm.

‘I didn’t know … You are a long way from home.’

‘Yeah, I’ve never been away from my parents for this long. I mean, it’s nice of them to have me to stay and it was exciting going on a plane on my own and England is nice, but I miss my parents and my friends back home.’

‘I understand. We moved house a little while before we came here, and I had to say goodbye to all my friends.’

I also understood. I was missing my home, Edgar Road, although I was so busy I didn’t have much time to be homesick.

‘So you know how it feels?’

‘Yes and so would the others if you explained it to them.’

‘I will; thanks, Viola. You know I’ve had a great time this week with you all. That’s why I don’t want them to be mad at me.’

‘It’s been nice to meet you,’ Viola said, smiling.

‘You too. You’re cool for a girl, Viola. I mean you play the piano so well and you won Swingball, then how you made the decorations… You basically organised the whole thing, not to mention rescuing us.’

‘I did?’ Viola sounded surprised.

‘Hey, maybe you don’t realise how cool you are.’ Nathan jumped down from the box and went to talk to the others.

Viola was smiling; how brilliant was it that Nathan had said exactly what I was thinking?

Viola was more confident as she helped everyone decorate the hall. Nathan had said sorry and everyone was friends again. I noticed that Emily and Viola seemed to be really close. My heart swelled with joy. And when we left the clubhouse to go back to the van, the rain had almost stopped.

I saw Humphrey.

‘Hello,’ I said.

‘So, you’re leaving tomorrow?’

‘Yes. I’ve had a nice time but I’m looking forward to going back.’

‘Everything OK with the girl?’

‘Yes, that’s the best bit. She seems so much happier now. The rescue pushed her and Emily together, so thanks for your help.’

‘I would say it was a pleasure but having to go into the woods, hide the puppets and everything else, was a lot of work. I won’t be sorry to see you go.’

Did he really say that? I saw Viola approach out of the corner of my eye and I turned to Humphrey.

‘Do you have to be so mean?’ I asked. I then hissed at him to show how angry I was.

‘Whoa, calm down,’ he replied.

‘No, Humphrey, I’ve been nothing but nice to you. I didn’t try to take the attention off you with the humans; I didn’t steal your food; I was respectful of the fact that I was on your territory and yet still you can say mean things?’ I hissed again.

‘Alfie, are you fighting?’ Viola asked, looking worried. I turned to her, then scowled at Humphrey. Humphrey stared at me; I held his gaze. I wasn’t a pushover after all. As we stared at each other for what seemed like ages, I wondered if he would in fact pounce on me. I felt my fur tremblingas I tried to hold my nerve but then, Humphrey stretched his tail in a friendly gesture.

‘Meow,’ he said. He was calling a truce. I blinked slowly at him as he whispered an apology, which I accepted. I wasn’t a cat to hold grudges. And I also felt relieved – he was bigger than me after all.

‘Viola,’ Mrs Clover said.

‘Yes, Mum?’

‘It’s time for your piano practice.’

Mr Clover and Stanley stood beside her.

‘But we’re getting ready for the picnic; I’m meeting Emily.’

[Êàðòèíêà: i_024.jpg]

‘Well, you can do that later. Piano first.’ Viola was about to go but then she looked at me.

I rubbed her legs.

‘No, Mum, no. I have missed playing with the others all week because of piano and I haven’t complained but now I have one day left so the piano can wait.’

I purred with pride.

‘But Viola—’

‘You know how worried I’ve been about making friends at my new school.’ Viola was quietly spoken but very firm; we weren’t used to her sounding quite so assertive.

Mrs Clover looked at Mr Clover, who shrugged.

‘Miaow,’ I said in agreement.

‘I’m sorry, I got it wrong, Viola, but I thought you loved the piano.’

‘I do, Mum, and I’m happy to practise but I am old enough to decidewhenand you never let me.’

Mrs Clover grabbed Viola in a hug.‘I’m sorry, it seems I have underestimated you; you should be with your friends today.’

‘Right, good, then I’m going to find Emily.’

Mr and Mrs Clover and Stanley all looked as Viola walked off and I am pretty sure they were impressed.

Everyone from the campsite sat on blankets in the clubhouse enjoying the picnic. The children were complimented on what a great job they’d done with the decorations and even Mr Green smiled. Humphrey and I were allowed into the clubhouse and given lots of treats.

[Êàðòèíêà: i_025.jpg]

‘You are lucky being a campsite cat,’ I said to him.

‘Thanks, Alfie, and I’m sorry I haven’t been as nice as I could be. I’ll even miss you a bit when you go.’

We were friends, Viola had made friends and had found her confidence, so all in all it had been a very successful holiday.

As we set off the following day, everyone was sad to be leaving. Emily and Viola said they would keep in touch and Nathan even promised to write from America. Nathan had spoken to his parents the previous evening and he said it had made him feel much better, thanks to his new friends. Stanley even let Poppy almost hug him and Jack cried. Even Mr Green had tears in his eyes but they may have been tears of joy.

We all settled down in the van for the long drive home.

‘Can we come back here next year?’ Viola asked.

‘I don’t see why not,’ Mrs Clover said.

‘And Alfie too?’ Stanley asked.

‘If his family agree,’ Mr Clover said.

Viola and Stanley cheered and I curled up to have a catnap; I was happy to come back but at the same time I was glad I had a year to recover from this holiday.

3. ALFIE AND GEORGE

Chapter One

‘What on earth is THAT?’ I looked at Snowball, my cat girlfriend, then at the creature. We were standing by the wooden fence that surrounded the garden of our holiday home, staring at the strange creature roaming around on the other side. It was quite plump, had a very sharp beak, spiky fur, which looked feathery, and small, mean eyes. It made a funny, high-pitched noise as it eyeballed us, pecking in our direction. I backed away nervously.

‘Oh, Alfie, it’s just a hen! You must have seen one before?’ Snowball laughed.

I took offence, though in actual fact I hadn’t seen a real-life chicken before. But I was supposed to be the man in the relationship so I tried to square up.

‘Hiss,’ I said. There, that’d show him who was boss. But then the hen rushed towards me, wobbling its tiny head and flapping its wings. I jumped back.

Snowball laughed again and tickled me with her tail.‘It’s harmless, Alfie, honestly.’ I certainly wasn’t convinced. ‘Well, you don’t get many hens in London,’ I huffed, stalking away.

We were somewhere called‘the country’, and very nice it was too. We were staying in a house in the middle of nowhere, with nothing around for miles except fields. My family — Jonathan, Claire and Summer — and Snowball’s family, the Snells — Karen, Tim, Daisy and Christopher — had rented a house for a week, and they had brought both me and Snowball with them. Cats don’t normally go on holiday so we felt very lucky. When I told my friends, the neighbourhood cats, they were shocked, but we were having a lovely time so far and I thought that perhaps us cats should holiday more often. A change is as good as a rest, my first owner, Margaret, used to say, and she was right — it was just what the vet ordered.

The house itself was large, with five bedrooms, and there was a lovely open fire in the living room, which Snowball and I curled up in front of in the evenings. It was very romantic— although we had to be careful as sparks jumped out every now and then, once nearly singeing Snowball’s beautiful white tail.

We had been told that, if we went out, we mustn’t leave the garden. Our humans were worried about us getting lost — as if that would happen — but so far we had obediently stuck to exploring said garden and doing as we were told. It was a good size; pretty, with lots of interesting bushes and flowerbeds. There was enough to keep us occupied, as it was much bigger than the small back garden I had to put up with in London. However, beyond the garden, where the chickens lived, was the lure of some very lush fields. It was a big temptation for an inquisitive cat like me.

Snowball was less impressed. She’d been a rich cat before she moved to Edgar Road (my street in London), and her family had had an enormous garden in their old house in the country. She didn’t boast about it anymore, but when we first met (a time when she had done her best to be rude to me) she did a bit. But anyway, I had won her over and captured her heart and we’d been together for two years now. The best two years of my cat life.

People always seemed surprised by our relationship at first, but then cats can fall in love just as easily as humans, if not more so. I should know, as I’ve had an awful lot of experience of humans.

Being a doorstep cat, I have a wide variety of humans I call family. I visit more than one home and have many‘owners’. As well and Claire and Jonathan, I regularly spend time with Polly and Matt and their two children, Henry and Martha, and my Polish family, Franceska, big Tomasz and their children, Aleksy and little Tomasz. I am one busy cat.

I’ve managed to bring my families together so they are all the closest of friends. In my time with them, on Edgar Road and beyond, I’ve seen so much change. Humans seem to change a lot, or at least their lives do, and us cats are often the bystanders that have to sort out the inevitable debris. I take care of my humans, it’s what I do, and I’ve seen the ups and downs, the good and bad, and even the downright ugly, but I have always taken my role of looking after my families very seriously.

‘We ought to go in, I’m getting hungry,’ I said to Snowball, licking my lips. I could have almost eaten the hen, had it not been so formidable. But then I’m not much of a hunter, and neither is Snowball; she’s far too beautiful to kill anything. I still remember how mesmerised I felt whenI first laid eyes on her. Even now, after two years, I am one smitten kitten — or smitten cat, more accurately.

‘Race you back,’ she said, giving herself a head start. I bounded after her and we arrived at the open back door at the same time, both slightly breathless from the run.

‘Ah, there you two are,’ said Claire, smiling at me as we padded into the kitchen. Summer, who was two and a half years old, was balanced on her hip. Claire put a bowl down on the highchair and wrestled Summer expertly into the seat as she wriggled in protest. Summer, my human sister, was what Claire called a ‘madam’ and what Jonathan called ‘spirited’. Although she could sometimes be a pain, and tried to pull my tail a bit too often for my liking, I loved her very much. And she compensated with some lovely cuddles.

Summer smiled, picked up her spoon and threw it on the floor. She never tired of this game, although in my opinion she was old enough to know better.

‘Toast,’ she said, in her lispy voice.

‘Eat your porridge, then you can have toast,’ Claire replied sternly.

‘NO!’ Summer screamed, throwing her bowl of porridge on the floor. As usual, I had been standing too close to her highchair, and I carefully licked some of the stray porridge from my fur. When would I ever learn?

Summer was my charge, I felt. I had to look after her, even when she was being a madam. It amused Jonathan, our dad, who said he liked a woman with a strong will. I did too, which is why I liked Snowball and my best cat friend, Tiger. However, Claire found it a bit annoying, I think, although since having Summer she was so happy that I didn’t worry about her too much anymore. Not like I did before anyway.

When I first came to live with Claire she had just got divorced, and she was quite broken. It took a lot of time and effort to put her back together. But then eventually she met Jonathan, one of my other humans, and now they are happily married with their child, Summer, completing our family.

‘Alfie, Snowball, breakfast,’ sang Daisy, Snowball’s teenage owner, putting bowls of tuna down for us.

‘Miaow,’ I thanked her. Daisy was beautiful — tall and lovely. She and Snowball actually looked alike in that they both had almost white fur — or hair, in Daisy’s case. Since Daisy had turned eighteen she’d been working as a model. She was becoming fairly successful already, and that was why she’d come on holiday. She might be too busy to come away with her family in the future, if all went to plan, so she needed to take the chance while she could. Snowball missed her when she was working but was very proud of her, which was touching.

Christopher, Daisy’s sixteen-year-old brother, sat at the table eyeing Summer suspiciously, making sure he was far enough away from her to avoid being hit by any food. He was much more sensible than me.

As I enjoyed my breakfast, I basked in happiness. Although my other families weren’t sharing my holiday, it was almost perfect. I had all the other people I loved around me and of course my beloved Snowball. As the humans ate their breakfasts, happily chatting and making plans for the day, I couldn’t help but feel my heart swell. Life didn’t get much better than this.

After breakfast, the sun slowly emerged, heating the morning into a warm spring day. Summer was playing with some teddy bears on a picnic blanket in the garden, whilst Claire and Karen sat beside her, drinking tea and chatting. Daisy had gone for a run and the men and Christopher had gone to the local town to do some grocery shopping— although Claire said they’d really gone to find a pub. Meanwhile, Snowball and I were relaxing, sprawled out on a warm patch of grass.

‘This is the life.’ I stretched my paws out and rolled onto my back, letting the sun warm my fur.

‘It really is,’ Snowball replied.‘Shall we go and see if we can find some butterflies to chase?’

I didn’t need asking twice.

This place was certainly different than London. Not only were there more animals around, but there was a sort of peacefulness that I hadn’t really experienced before. And the wonderful thing was that it was rubbing off on all of us. All the humans seemed relaxed, which was nice because that didn’t happen often in London; they were usually too preoccupied with work and other stresses. We had all been through some trying times in the last few years; my humans had faced many challenges. Adjusting to life in a new country, trying to have babies, postnatal depression, bullying at school, secrets, heartache — you name it, we’d been through it. I’ve been with them through each experience and have helped to resolve many problems, if I do say so myself. I think the problems brought my families closer together, and it was nice to see that we had finally entered a harmonious phase. Long may it last.

Snowball and I found a flowerbed, which looked as good a place as any to find butterflies.

We sat silently, side by side. We were so happy together that we often didn’t need words. I actually felt as if I knew what Snowball was thinking, and vice versa. In the event, there were no butterflies, but we both dived into the flowerbed when a noisy bee appeared. We tried to lay low as the bee took what it needed from its chosen flower. I knew bees were good — I’d heard enough people saying that — but if you got too close, a sting could be pretty nasty. After the bee buzzed off we rolled around, enjoying the sun and the soft scents of the flowers. It was a pretty romantic time.

‘Alfie, being on holiday with you is the best thing I’ve ever done,’ Snowball purred, putting her paw on mine. I felt quite emotional as I looked at my love.

‘It’s the best thing I’ve ever done, too,’ I replied — and I meant it with all my heart.

Chapter Two

[Êàðòèíêà: i_002.jpg]

Summer was playing ball with Christopher. Although he treated her with suspicion when she had food, he could be quite good with her at other times.

‘Throw the ball, Sum,’ Chris said. Summer clutched it to her chest and shook her head. She then put it on the ground and sat on it. Christopher laughed. I went over to her and nudged the ball with my paw. Summer giggled and wobbled, rolling off it. She laughed as I lay next to her on the grass,tickling her with my tail. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jonathan approaching us.

‘Honestly, neither of you will play for Chelsea at this rate,’ he said, laughing. He scooped Summer up and swung her around.

‘Jon, she’s just had breakfast, she’ll be sick,’ Claire said, joining them. I stood up and stretched, brushing some grass off my fur with my tongue.

‘Sorry.’ Jonathan rolled his eyes. I gave him a conspiratorial look; Claire did fuss sometimes.

‘Ready?’ she asked.

Jonathan nodded.‘Right. Alfie, Snowball, we’re off for a day trip, so you guys need to stay here and keep out of trouble.’ He looked at me when he said the last bit.

‘Miaow,’ I said, indignantly.

‘Do you think it’ll be OK to leave the back door open?’ Tim asked as he went to put some bags into one of the cars.

‘Don’t see why not, it’s pretty deserted here,’ Jonathan said.

‘Gosh, I love that we can do that. We’d never be able to on Edgar Road would we?’ said Karen. She and Tim exchanged a look; I wondered if they were thinking about their old homes, as Snowball sometimes did. I would catch her with a faraway look in her eyes, and as much as I knew she was happy, she did miss it. I understood — I still missed my first home at times and, although I loved my home and all my families now, I would never forget it. It wasn’t bad to miss things, I realised. Although it meant you had lost something or someone, it also meant you loved them in the first place. It was hard, but that was how life worked.

We sat by the stone steps that led up to the back door as we watched our families go out for the day. I was quite excited, as it meant a day for us to have our own adventures without worrying about the humans for once.

‘Do you think we should go and explore a bit?’ Snowball asked.

‘Well, the humans said we shouldn’t in case we get lost,’ I replied. I was sometimes a foolhardy cat, but the last thing I wanted to do was get lost in the country. I might never be able to find my way back home!

‘Oh, come on, let’s live a bit. And anyway, I’ve got a good sense of direction.’ Snowball nuzzled me, which meant she knew I was going to give in. However, I couldn’t forget the time that she had got horribly lost, and I had had to launch a rescue mission as a result. I didn’t dare mention it though — I wasn’t looking for an argument or for Snowball to sulk, which she was rather good at when she was cross.

‘OK then, let’s go.’ After all, I told myself, what could go wrong?

We headed out of the garden for the first time and into the neighbouring field. The long grass pleasantly tickled my legs as we ran through it side by side. There were insects buzzing around us, and as we travelled further from the house, we found some more chickens. These ones were actually quite friendly, clucking and scratching at the ground as we crept near them. I got quite close to one actually, trying to demonstrate my bravery, although inside I was like cat-food-in-jelly.

We went through another field and jumped onto a fence.

‘Are your legs OK?’ Snowball asked gently as she saw me grimace. I had an old injury that sometimes affected my back legs, but they weren’t too bad, despite the odd twinge.

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I’m fine, thanks.’ I jumped down from the fence smoothly to show her that I was all right. Then, feeling my confidence growing, I ran into the field. I was having a lovely time, the wind in my fur, the sun gently smiling down at us. I could get used to living in the country, I thought. Little did I know I was about to get a rude awakening.

‘Moo,’ a voice said angrily.

‘Yelp!’ I screamed, stopping suddenly. I found myself level with a leg, and as I looked up I started shaking. I was facing a monster, and he didn’t look happy to see me. He stared down at me with big, dark eyes, snorting loudly.‘Yelp,’ I screamed again.

‘Snort,’ the monster said, sounding angry. I realised that he was unhappy about us being in his field. He started to stomp and, as I saw the grass being flattened, I started to imagine being squashed beneath those big hooves. He shook his head, violently, as he eyeballed me again. Surely he wasabout to pounce. I managed to spring back, bouncing off Snowball and back in front of the cow again.

He lifted his head, snorted loudly again and swished his long tail from side to side.

‘It’s OK, Alfie.’ Snowball was beside me. At the sight of her the monster seemed a bit less aggressive. She gently led me a safe distance away.‘It’s just a cow,’ she continued.‘They’re big, and seem aggressive, I know, but they’re really quite gentle.’

I had never seen a cow this close up before and it seemed anything but gentle to me.

‘But it’s … it’s … enormous,’ I stammered, unable to take my eyes off the black-and-white patchy creature. I could feel my back legs trembling with fear, although the cow had turned away, flicking its tail and eating grass as if we didn’t exist. I was flooded with relief.

‘They’re harmless,’ she explained. It seemed I had a lot to learn about these farm animals.

I gladly followed her away from the monster cow. It certainly didn’t look what I would call ‘harmless’.

The rest of our trip passed without incident, although I felt as if I was more skittish than I had been when we set off. But it was also one of the best days ever. We romped through fields, found some lovely trees to admire and were not attacked by any other farm animals, although we saw some sheep and I thought that one of them seemed to take a fancy to Snowball. But they were the same colour and maybe she thought Snowball was a lamb. After all, as Snowball explained, sheep weren’t known for their brains. Not like cats.

Later that evening I was having a catnap, curled up in front of the fire. I needed a rest after our expedition. Although I was generally an active cat I was totally worn out. Maybe it was the country air, whatever that was. Claire kept referring to it, so it must have some effect. Jonathan said it was ridiculous to have an open fire when it was so warm but Karen and Claire wanted it lit, as we didn’t have fires like this at home. I wasn’t complaining; I loved being toasty warm. Snowball was with Daisy, in her room, I think, and I must have nodded off as I started to slowly awaken to the sound of soft voices.

‘Are you sure?’ I heard Karen say. I opened one eye to see her and Claire sitting on the sofa.

‘Pretty much. I’m afraid it’s definitely the case.’ Afraid? What was this? As far as I knew all was well with my families.

‘Oh, honey, I am sorry, I don’t know what to say.’ Karen’s voice was rich with sympathy.

‘Well we have Summer and she’s perfect, even if she is a little diva, but you know I would have loved another child, and Jon would too, but it hasn’t happened. Our doctor has run tests, but it looks as if we’ve been blessed with the only child we’re going to have.’ Although Claire sounded a little bit sad, she wasn’t crying. I hoped that this wasn’t the start of something. I worried about all my humans, but Claire especially. After the dark times she had faced in the past I knew she was prone to sliding into depression.

‘But you had no problems with Summer,’ said Karen.

‘No, it’s just one of those things — nature. It’s funny, but with Summer I was so desperate to have a baby that I really got into a state before I conceived her, but now we’ve been trying for over a year and a half and I’m still quite calm. I guess I feel lucky having such a gorgeous little girl, and of course Jonathan, that I have to count my blessings rather than dwell on what I can’t have.’

‘Have you thought about IVF?’

‘I did do some research but I’m not the most balanced person and with the hormones and injections and stuff, I worry that I’ll become unhinged. Not to mention that it might not work, and would cost a fortune. No, I need to be a good mother to Summer, and with working part time now, I need to be on top of things. To be honest, I’d love to adopt a child, but Jon’s reluctant.’

‘Adoption?’

‘Yes, my dad’s a social worker and I kind of always grew up thinking that giving a child a home would be a great thing to do. I hadn’t thought about it in years but when we found out we couldn’t conceive naturally, my mind immediately turned to adoption. But unfortunately Jon just doesn’tsee it the same way.’

I stayed perfectly still as I listened. Of course I knew they wanted another baby, and there had been quite a few hushed conversations behind closed doors, but because everything had been so good for us all, perhaps I had turned a blind eye to the struggles they were having. Or maybe I had been more caught up with Snowball than I realised…

‘Ah, the whole man thing, wanting their genes to run through the veins of a child.’

‘Probably, but he’ll come round, I know he will. We have so much to offer a child, I just need to persuade him that it’s a really good idea,’ said Claire.

‘You know how it is with men, you need him to think it’s his idea.’ They both laughed.

‘Glass of wine?’ Claire suggested.

‘Why not? We are on holiday after all.’

As Karen and Claire drank their wine I marvelled at how far Claire had come. When I first met her she had been a mess— divorced, heartbroken, drinking too much and miserable. But now she was so happy and not even this setback, something that would previously have threatened to derail her, could defeat her. She wasn’t a victim anymore, and I was so overjoyed that I jumped up onto her lap and touched my nose toher hand. I wanted her to know how proud I was of her.

‘Oh, Alfie, I love you.’ She kissed the top of my head. I snuggled into her, thinking that this holiday lark wasn’t bad at all. Despite the monster cow.

Chapter Three

[Êàðòèíêà: i_003.jpg]

This holiday was making me love Snowball even more. Before we left Edgar Road, both cars full of cases and me in my cat carrier in one car, Snowball in the other, I wouldn’t have thought it possible to love her more. Yet I did. Spending this time away together, away from the day-to-day stresses of Edgar Road, had brought us even closer.

If cats could get married like humans, I would have married Snowball in a heartbeat. I knew it wasn’t possible, but when I told her as we lay by the fire she said it was the most romantic thing she had ever heard. Which gave me an idea. As a very organised cat, I do like to make plans, and I thought that in order for us to always remember this holiday, the first one we’d had together — andalso the best holiday any cat could ask for — I would plan something for us.

The humans were going to the beach for the day. They had packed up lots of food, fussed a lot, and made it seem as if they were going for days rather than a few hours. Finally though they left the house, and Snowball and I were alone. I wanted to have a lovely day with her, and that meant being brave, bold and taking a risk. This cat was ready to do just that. I wanted to put a smile on Snowball’s face and for us have a day we would both remember. Of course, I wasn’t sure where the day would take us. When we went out the other day, we hadn’t ventured too far. We still didn’t know the area but I figured if we headed towards the big farm there would be lots of fun to be had. I outlined my plan to Snowball. We would leave the garden — hopefully avoiding the giant cows — and explore the luscious green fields that led to the big hill. Once at the top of the hill we would admire the views that our families had been talking about. I thought if we just headed off in one direction we would be fine, there would be no way we’d get lost. In fact, I was quite excited and feeling adventurous.

‘I love it, Alfie. Although I thought you were still worried about the cows and getting lost?’

‘Not me,’ I replied, with more bravado than I felt. I just hoped those cows would keep away.

When our families had finally piled themselves into their cars and driven off, Snowball and I finished our ablutions and got ready for our own adventure. My legs were almost trembling with excitement; I just knew we were going to have the best day ever.

We headed towards the farm, greeting the hens as if we were old friends. They wobbled their heads and clucked but weren’t very interested in us. I don’t know why I was ever scared of them: they were quite sweet really. We watched them for a bit before heading off. Before too long we came across a field with incredibly long, green grass. It was even taller than us. We made our way into it, and at one point I couldn’t see Snowball at all.

‘Yowl!’ She jumped out at me and I almost fell over.

‘Yeah, nice one, this is meant to be romantic — not scary,’ I pointed out, smoothing my fur.

‘Sorry, Alfie, I couldn’t resist. This grass is the longest I’ve ever seen. It’s so much fun! Come on, let’s go.’ She started running and I joined her. We ran through the grass, letting it tickle our fur, until we emerged on the other side of the field. I felt invigorated as we looked around, deciding where to head next.

‘Let’s avoid that way. Remember those sheep? I really think that one wanted to kidnap me,’ Snowball said, looking a bit worried.

‘As if I would ever let them do that,’ I replied, with a raise of my whiskers.

‘Alfie, would you ever want to live in the country?’ Snowball asked as we trekked through another field.

‘I don’t know. I mean … it’s very nice. But it’s quiet. And all these animals … I’m not sure it’s for me, to be honest. I’m a Londoner through and through.’

‘When we lived in our old house, it was a bit like the country, but not as much as this — it was far more built up. I think it was a nice compromise.’

‘I know you miss your old home, Snowball,’ I said, trying to be understanding and not feel hurt. You see, I didn’t like to think of Snowball before me. It sounds silly but I felt jealous that she had a life that didn’t have me in it.

‘I do a bit, but I would never want to go back, not without you, Alfie.’ I felt my heart melt as I looked into her beautiful eyes.

A big black cloud loomed, interrupting our moment.

‘Oh no,’ I said, as I felt a drop of rain land on my nose. It seemed to have come from nowhere. Just a minute ago we had been enjoying the sun on our fur.

‘We might have to make a run for it,’ Snowball shouted, as rain started to patter all around us; neither of us liked getting wet. As Snowball bounded off I followed her, not thinking about where she was going. After a bit of a run we came across a building and hurried inside. There was straw onthe floor; it was a bit scratchy, but at least we were dry.

‘Thank goodness, Alfie,’ Snowball said. ‘It’s a proper rain shower out there.’

‘But what is this place?’ I asked.

‘Some kind of barn.’

‘Oink.’ We both looked up to see a group of fat, pink pigs moving towards us. They shuffled and snorted and didn’t look very friendly. Five of them descended, all pink skin and rounded bellies. Although they didn’t move quickly, as they banded together I could see we were in trouble.

‘Oh dear,’ I said, as Snowball and I backed away, until we were huddled in the corner of the barn.

‘Pigs seem very mean,’ Snowball said, not reassuringly at all. ‘I’ve never been this close to any but I’ve heard all sorts about them. Apparently they eat anything and everything.’

‘Which could include us …’ We were literally backed into a corner. They were coming closer, heads shaking a little, feet stomping beneath their immense weight. They looked at us with hungry eyes. Snowball cowered behind me. We were going to be pigswill at this rate. I had to get us out of this mess. After all, I was the tom here. I took some deep breaths, trying to calm myself down even though the animals were almost upon us.

‘OK, they aren’t as big as cows. How about we run through their legs?’ I suggested. Although I was terrified, I couldn’t see another way out.

‘We could try, but look at those feet, the weight they carry. I wouldn’t want to get trampled under them.’ Snowball shivered. We were both cold and scared. This romantic day wasn’t turning out quite how I had expected.

‘I know,’ I said, ‘but look, we have no option — they look like they want to eat us!’ I tried to be the man of the relationship — the pigs were only inches away from us. I had to act, so I sort of pushed Snowball a bit and then darted between the legs of the nearest pig, looking behind to check she was following.‘Come on, Snowy, it’ll be fine,’ I encouraged, as one of the pigs gave an angry snort.

Snowball didn’t hang around; she ran for it and joined me. The pigs looked a bit confused but luckily their bulk slowed them down as they tried to come after us. We were far quicker and after a couple more pig-dodges we emerged triumphant, relieved, and thankful to be safe. The rain had eased off and was now more of a drizzle.

‘Shall we risk going back home in this?’ I asked.

‘Best do, I don’t fancy my chances with those pigs.’

‘You’ve been so calm around the farm animals so far,’ I pointed out. Snowball looked even more terrified than I felt.

‘I know, but pigs … As I said, I don’t have much experience of them, but I’ve heard things.’ Her eyes shone with fear.

‘They did look as if they’d be happy to eat us both.’ I looked around so we could start our journey home and my heart sank yet again.‘Snowball?’

‘Yes, Alfie?’ She was trying to clean some straw from her fur.

‘Which way is home?’ I asked. She stopped what she was doing and looked at me. I stared glumly back at her. I had no idea where we were.

‘Oh no, we were in such a rush to get out of the rain, I didn’t even notice which direction we were going,’ she cried.

Could this day get any worse? I looked around again but all I could see were fields. Fields in all directions— and they all looked the same. We were well and truly lost.

As we discussed what to do next, I led us to a nearby hedge so at least we could shelter from the rain while we argued.

‘I think we just head off and hope for the best,’ I said.

‘Great, Alfie, you always have a smart plan and now you’re saying that we just head off with no idea where we’re going,’ Snowball snapped. I knew she was cross but I felt that was unfair. It wasn’t just my fault we were lost after all. I was nestling further into the hedge when something — or rather someone — stopped me, and I found myself nose to nose with a rather large, shabby tabby.

‘Hiss,’ he said.

‘Hello.’ I kept it friendly. He was much bigger than me after all. That said, I liked to pride myself on staying trim and taking care of my appearance, and the same certainly couldn’t be said for this cat.

‘Who are you?’ he asked.

‘I’m Alfie and this is Snowball. We’re on holiday with our families.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous, cats don’t go on holiday.’ He grimaced, showing quite sharp teeth, and for a moment I wasn’t sure if he was going to attack. I tried to keep calm, my ears moving sideways with nerves and my tail swaying. I wasn’t an aggressive cat but I did have my girlfriend to protect.

‘I know it’s quite strange, but honestly we are,’ Snowball replied, stepping forwards. The tabby took one look at her blue eyes and white fur and immediately preened himself, sitting up straighter and waving his tail in a friendly gesture. A bit too friendly, if you ask me.

‘How are you doing?’ he asked, grinning. ‘Let me introduce myself. I’m Roddy and I’m a local resident. I’m sorry if you think me rude but, well, I’m not used to visiting cats.’ He blinked at Snowball, which is our equivalent of blowing kisses. Just who did this Roddy think he was?

‘We live in London,’ I replied haughtily. Anyone who thinks that cats don’t flirt should have seen him as he stretched out his paws and wrapped his tail neatly round his body. I decided he was too big and scruffy to be considered good-looking, which was a relief. I, with my blue-grey fur and svelte figure, was often complimented on my handsomeness. In any case, I was pretty secure in my looks and I knew Snowball was loyal, so I tried to relax a bit.

‘London, you say? Well I don’t know anything about that.’ He was looking directly at Snowball.

‘The thing is,’ Snowball said, a little bit too flirtatiously, ‘we’re a little lost. We tried to shelter from the rain and ended up trapped in a barn with some rather unfriendly pigs and now we don’t know how to get back to the holiday house.’ She tilted her head, and I saw that alreadyRoddy was smitten.

‘Where are you staying?’ he asked, puffing his chest out. ‘I’m a bit of an expert on these parts.’

‘A big house,’ I replied, not exactly enjoying this exchange, though I acknowledged he was probably our best hope.

‘That narrows it down,’ he said sarcastically.

‘Well Roddy,’ purred Snowball, stretching out her paws, ‘it’s near the farm, we have hens on the edge of the garden and there’s a field of cows directly in front of us.’

‘Ah, I know where you mean. Right, city cats, follow me and I’ll have you home in no time.’

Despite us getting a bit wet and being a little bit stressed from our adventure, Roddy got us home safely, and although I was still a bit annoyed at his flirting with my girlfriend, I thanked him graciously. I was relieved. As we left him at the door, he was still marvelling at how odd it was for cats to go on holiday.

The fire wasn’t lit as the house was empty, but it was warm as we lay down in front of it to dry off. I decided that, as our romantic trip had been my idea, I would be magnanimous.

‘I’m sorry that our day went a bit wrong,’ I said, nuzzling into Snowball’s neck.

‘And I’m sorry I snapped. I was just scared. But you took care of me, like always,’ she said, returning the nuzzle.

‘Well, it was Roddy who saved us,’ I pointed out.

‘Maybe, but you’re my hero, not him,’ she said, and I couldn’t have felt happier.

The door opened and our families, dripping wet, walked into the living room.

‘Let’s light the fire and get ourselves out of these wet clothes before we catch pneumonia,’ Karen said.

‘Look at those two, just relaxing by the warm hearth while we nearly drowned on the beach,’ Jonathan said, getting the kindling into the grate. With our eyes half closed, Snowball and I grinned at each other. How little they knew.

Chapter Four

[Êàðòèíêà: i_004.jpg]

‘Hope it hasn’t been too boring for you two,’ Jonathan said, as everyone breakfasted together on our last full day of the holiday.

‘Nah,’ Christopher replied.‘It’s been good.’ He looked a bit sheepish, but then he was a teenage boy and apparently they are all somewhat monosyllabic.

‘I’ve enjoyed doing nothing,’ Daisy answered.‘If it all goes to plan I’ll be busy with work when we get back.’

‘According to Polly, you’re going to be the next Kate Moss,’ Claire said.

‘If I could be just a fraction as successful as she is, I’ll be overjoyed,’ Daisy laughed. She didn’t realise how stunning she really was, I thought — a bit like Snowball. Although Snowball had been aloof when I first met her, it wasn’t because she thought she was a beauty, and even nowshe was still unaware of the effect she had on other cats and people. Like Roddy, most male cats started drooling like dogs when they first saw her. Myself included, I have to admit.

‘So what shall we do today?’ Karen asked as she buttered another piece of toast.

‘How about we hang out here, maybe go for a walk, and then have lunch at home?’ Tim suggested.

‘Sounds nice,’ Claire said, trying and failing to spoon cereal into Summer’s closed mouth.

‘TOAST,’ Summer shouted. Claire looked exasperated but Jonathan laughed indulgently.

‘I wish she could learn to say fruit or porridge at least,’ Claire said.

‘My girl knows her own mind,’ Jonathan replied.‘Chip off the old block.’ Claire swiped at him with her arm.

‘God, then I’m in trouble,’ she joked.

‘I’m going to do some computer stuff,’ Christopher said, looking bashful. He was turning out to be quite a chip off his old block himself, if that means what I think it does. He was following in his father’s footsteps by being a computer genius, or something along those lines.

‘Hey, Claire, I know you’ve got that book you keep trying to read, so I’ll take Summer out round the farm this morning. She loves the animals and you can stick your head in your novel,’ Jonathan said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

‘My God, now I remember why I married you.’

‘I’ll come with you, Jon,’ Karen said, and Tim nodded.

I looked at Snowball. It would be just the two of us again; maybe we could go for a romantic meander in the garden. After our adventure on the farm the other day we had stayed close to the holiday house, and I wasn’t sure that it would be a good idea to explore.

For a while, Snowball and I stayed in the garden, close to where Claire sat in a lawn chair, reading. Chris was inside, Daisy had gone for a run, and the others had gone for a walk. As the morning drew on we decided to visit the hens. We nodded at them in greeting— I was no longer afraid — and they wobbled their heads in response. I knew they weren’t scary now. Being in the country was an education about other animals, ones we didn’t really get in London.

‘All right, city cats,’ said Roddy, suddenly appearing from behind the hen enclosure.

‘Hey, Roddy,’ said Snowball.

‘We need to thank you again for the other day,’ I said, remembering my manners.

‘You’re welcome. Anyway what are you guys up to?’ Roddy asked.

‘It’s our last day here, we leave tomorrow,’ I explained, feeling relaxed and friendly. I definitely found the country enjoyable, though I missed many things about London, like my friends, especially Tiger, and my other families. I also missed the hustle and bustle, the constant noise. At night here, it was eerily quiet, but back home I could hear cars, voices and the odd siren. Silence took a bit of getting used to.

‘In that case, how about I take you to my favourite place?’ suggested Roddy.

‘What is it?’ Snowball asked.

‘You’ll see, it’s lovely. Come on, come with me.’ He ran off and we sprang after him. As we crossed a different — and thankfully cow-free — field, I realised how nice the country smelled. I breathed in deeply, enjoying the fresh scents. I was happy that we were having a last adventure and with Roddy with us there was no danger involved. Well, I hoped not anyway.

We set off and took a route that we were more familiar with, passing the outskirts of the field where we’d met the giant cow. There were a few cows there, but they were at the other end of the field and were so busy eating grass they didn’t pay us much attention. I can’t say I was sorry.

‘Come on, let’s keep going,’ Roddy said, as we followed close behind him.

I blinked at Snowball and she blinked back as we came upon a stream.

‘I am not a fan of water,’ I stated.

‘Nah, me neither, Alfie. But look, there’s a bridge just up here. Come on.’ Roddy led us across a small wooden bridge and then came to a halt. As I looked around, I almost felt my breath being taken away. We were standing in a clearing on the edge of a wood, trees densely surrounding us. Sunlight glinted between the branches and reflected off the leaves, it was beautiful.

‘It’s a forest,’ Snowball exclaimed.

‘Yeah, it’s my forest,’ Roddy said, although I was pretty sure it wasn’t.

‘Wow, it’s beautiful,’ I stated.‘Almost as beautiful as you.’ I nuzzled Snowball. She smiled coyly and raised her whiskers.

‘It reminds me a bit of my old home,’ Snowball said. ‘We had a big wood just outside our garden and I would chase squirrels, although they could be mean. They were particularly protective of their nuts.’

‘I can see why you’d miss it,’ I conceded. As much as I loved Edgar Road and London, I did see the beauty of this place.

We stood at the bottom of a large tree. Roddy said that if we climbed up it we would see the most spectacular view. Snowball looked at me questioningly and gestured towards the tree. I shook my head— I was staying on the ground. I’d been stuck up a tree in the past, twice in fact, and it wasn’t fun. So I stayed put and watched as Roddy and Snowball climbed higher and higher, feeling a little bit jealous and half wishing I could join them. But ultimately I was glad to be on firm ground where I found some leaves to play with.

After a while I saw Snowball scaling back down and I was relieved that she was managing it easily.

‘Right, let’s get back before you’re missed,’ Roddy said, bounding off.

He took us a different route home, and I felt so energised by the journey, with the wind in my fur, the warming sun above and the tickly green grass beneath my paws, that I started fooling around a bit. I turned and walked backwards.

‘What are you doing?’ Snowball asked, raising her whiskers.

‘Hey, I can go backwards, look at me,’ I said, showing off. I started trying to run backwards, which wasn’t as easy as I thought — in all honesty, I’d never tried it before. I felt my legs tangle and I tried to turn around but ended up falling on my bottom. Luckily, something soft broke my fall.

‘Yelp!’ I said. But what was that smell? I stood up and, trying to get away from the smell, ended up running round in circles — wherever I went, it seemed to follow. I heard laughter from Roddy and saw that Snowball was hiding behind her paw.

‘What?’ I asked.

‘You fell into a cow pat!’ she said. I looked down and saw that the soft thing that had broken my fall was in fact the source of the terrible smell. Those monster cows had left a monster mess, and I was now covered in it! As I walked dejectedly home, my earlier energy deflated, I knew that there would be only one thing for it: a bath. I really dislike baths, or actually water in any form — even rain upsets me, and don’t get me started on puddles. But I knew I had no choice.

We said a fond farewell to Roddy back at the house.

‘You’re a lucky guy,’ he said to me, gesturing towards Snowball. She purred and looked coy.

‘I know I am — she’s wonderful. Thank you for everything,’ I said, as I bade him a warm goodbye.

I was still covered in mess and I didn’t dare enter the house. ‘Maybe if you go inside, you can miaow loudly and get someone’s attention?’ I said to Snowball. As much as I hated baths, I really wanted to get this mess off me as soon as possible.

Snowball went off and returned after what seemed like ages with Claire. I was beginning to really hate the smell. It was another reason for me to add cows to my list of things to be avoided.

‘What on earth?’ Claire said. ‘Snowball was making such a racket, I thought something was wrong.’ She took a closer look at me. ‘Oh God, Alfie, did you roll in something bad?’ I miaowed to show my disagreement — as if I would do anything like this on purpose!

Claire wrapped me in a towel to carry me inside, holding me at arm’s length as she took me straight to the bathroom. I could see that Snowball found the whole thing amusing; we would be having words about that later. As Claire ran a shallow bath, muttering about the way I smelled, I stayed very still. She gently put me in the water and I tried not to squirm, but as the warm wet stuff started to engulf my body, I found it so uncomfortable that I wriggled a bit. I wasn’t sure which was worse, the bath or the smell. Actually, it was definitely the smell.

‘Keep still, Alfie,’ she said crossly as I squirmed. I couldn’t stay still. Eventually, after what felt like forever, Claire carefully lifted me out and dried me off.‘Go and lie by the fire, you’ll soon be all dry and warm,’ she said. She didn’t need to ask twice, and I quickly ran out of the room.

I curled up by the fire and Snowball joined me.

‘You smell much better, thank goodness,’ she said, nuzzling into my neck.

‘You know, I’m going to miss a few things about this holiday but the fire is definitely one of the things I’ll miss most,’ I said, yawning. What an eventful day we’d had. I closed my eyes, and soon I was dreaming of pilchards.

A while later, I was aware of voices as I woke up, and sensed the presence of everyone in the living room.

‘I can’t believe we have to leave in the morning,’ said Jonathan. I kept my eyes closed, enjoying the warmth in my fur as I listened. I could picture him, stretched out on the sofa. He sounded quite mellow. Jonathan was often uptight, and it was clear the holiday had done him good.

‘It’s been a good holiday though, mate,’ Tim said.

‘I’m just worried about how Alfie’s going to be you know, if …’ I heard Claire say. I pricked up my ears. I could tell that Snowball was still asleep next to me. She made this really sweet noise as she slept. Some called it snoring but to me it was music.

‘And Snowball,’ Karen added. ‘It’s weird, I never thought cats were like that, we’ve always been led to believe they’re solitary creatures, certainly not animals that mate for life.’

‘Like lobsters,’ Tim said.

‘What?’ Jonathan asked. I was trying to follow this conversation but it wasn’t proving easy.

‘You know, lobsters, they mate for life,’ Tim explained.

‘But look at them,’ Claire said, sounding sad.‘Snuggled up together. They definitely love each other.’

‘God, I feel guilty already,’ said Tim.‘But this time, it’s not my family I might be letting down, but my cat.’

‘It might not even happen,’ said Karen.

I gave Snowball a gentle nudge, but she was fast asleep. This conversation made no sense to me, and my fur suddenly felt freezing cold.

‘It’ll be such a shame if you did,’ Claire said.

‘Anyway it might not happen,’ Karen repeated, indicating that that was the end of the conversation.

What on earth were they talking about? It was as if they were talking about something that would be bad for me and Snowball. I tried to put it out of my mind but I couldn’t.

As the humans all went to sort out dinner that evening, and Jonathan put Summer to bed, I finally got Snowball on her own.

‘I heard something weird when you were sleeping. Your family were talking about something strange, but I didn’t understand what. It sounded like something that might happen to us. Do you know anything about it?’

Snowball surveyed me with her cool blue eyes.‘What do you mean?’ She sounded shocked; she obviously didn’t know anything.

‘Tim said something about letting his cat down if it happened. Karen said it might not happen, but I don’t know what “it” is. I didn’t like the sound of it though.’

‘Alfie, you’re talking in riddles! I have no idea what you’re going on about. We both know what you’re like, always looking for drama.’ Snowball yawned and stretched. She didn’t seem worried but I couldn’t shake the feeling that all wasn’t well.

‘OK, if you say so, but let’s see if we hear anything.’

‘Of course, Alfie. I love you, and I love that you worry so much, but we’ve had a wonderful trip together. Let’s just focus on that.’

I couldn’t argue.

Chapter Five [Êàðòèíêà: i_005.jpg]

I was suffering from what I had learnt were called post-holiday blues. Being home was exciting at first. I saw Tiger and my other friends and was reunited with my other humans on Edgar Road, which of course was lovely. Still though, I was fed up. I missed spending all my time with Snowball; I still saw her but not as much. I also missed the country walks, the fresh air, the romance, the fire we slept in front of… Even the hens. And of course it had rained every day in London since we’d been home, so after my initial visits to all my friends I had been largely stuck indoors. I felt as limp as the weather. I was totally bored and listless.

And there was something bothering me. I was still a little perplexed by the confusing things I’d heard on the last day of the holiday. No one had said anything about it, so I still had no idea what they had been discussing. Snowball and I had been listening out for any more clues, but apart from the usual hushed conversations that humans were so keen on, I hadn’t noticed anything amiss and neither had she. Perhaps she was right, we should just ignore it and not worry. It was probably nothing … So why did I still feel so unsettled? I tried to tell myself it was the post-holiday blues that were making me feel so rattled, nothing more.

As I sat on the living room windowsill, I saw a man putting something on a nearby lamppost. Soon after, I saw Tiger approaching my front gate. I ran to the kitchen, dived through the cat flap and made my way round to the front of the house. My blues were momentarily cheered at the sight of my friend.

‘Hey, Alfie,’ Tiger said, a bit breathlessly.

‘What’s going on?’ I asked. She lifted her head towards the lamppost and I saw that there was a picture of a tabby cat on it, along with some words — which, of course, being a cat, I couldn’t read.‘What is that?’ I asked.

‘Not sure, there were two others that went up on lampposts while you were away. None of us cats know what they mean.’

‘I’m not sure either.’ I felt puzzled. ‘Let’s go and see the others,’ I suggested.‘See if they know anything.’ Something was bothering me, but I wasn’t sure what. As we made our way to the end of the street, we saw the other two cat pictures, but we didn’t recognise the cats.

‘Are these the only other two?’ I asked Tiger.

‘Yup. Weird, huh?’

We found Elvis and Nellie at our usual meeting place. They were sitting away from the damp grass, on a strip of concrete that was relatively dry.

‘Guess what?’ Tiger said.

‘What?’ Nellie loved drama and looked excited.

‘We just saw a cat picture going up on a lamppost,’ said Tiger.

‘Another one? What can they mean?’ Elvis asked.

‘I’m not sure,’ I said.‘But something is niggling me.’

‘I think we should definitely keep an eye on it. This all seems very strange,’ Tiger said. As we lapsed into silence, Salmon, our nemesis cat, approached.

‘He might know,’ hissed Nellie, although we were all loath to ask him.

‘What are you up to?’ Salmon asked, narrowing his eyes and flicking his tail in a hostile way. Salmon was the meanest of cats and never missed an opportunity to be horrible to us.

‘Just hanging out with friends, something you know nothing about,’ Tiger replied. She was the only one of us not scared of Salmon.

‘Very funny, Tiger.’

‘Salmon,’ Elvis cut in quickly.‘We just saw another cat picture going up. Do you know what they mean?’

Salmon flicked his tail again.‘Of course I know, but I can’t possibly tell you.’

‘Which means he doesn’t have a clue,’ I cut in.

‘I do! I know far more than you think,’ he hissed.‘Why don’t you find that girlfriend of yours and ask her what’s going on.’

‘What do you mean?’ I felt angry now — how dare he bring Snowball into this.

‘I just heard her owners talking to mine, and let’s just say it doesn’t look good for you.’ He licked his lips, looking pleased with himself.

‘Salmon, tell me right now, or I’ll, I’ll …’

‘You’ll what? Set your girlfriend on me?’ he laughed, and before I could say anything else, he bounded off.

‘What could Salmon mean by that?’ Nellie asked. But as my cat friends looked at me, worry in their eyes, I knew there could only be bad news to come. I had to get to Snowball.

I found Snowball waiting by my front gate. As soon as I saw her, I knew that something was very wrong.

‘We’re in trouble, Alfie,’ she said.

‘What have we done?’ I asked. I was prone to a bit of trouble but I didn’t think I had done anything lately.

‘No,’ said Snowball, wiggling further into the bush. It was still a bit damp from the rain but she looked so serious that I didn’t complain.‘Not that sort of trouble. You know that conversation you heard? Well, it seems it wasn’t nothing after all.’

‘Snowball, slow down, you’re not making any sense at all.’

‘OK, well, Tim and Karen were talking to Daisy and Christopher last night. It seems that we’re moving away, because Tim’s been offered a really good job.’

‘Moving away?’ I asked, my heart sinking into my paws. The Snells had been through a terrible time when they first moved to Edgar Road. It had taken quite a while and a lot of planning from me to make them part of our community, but we had done it in the end. Surely they wouldn’t move away now?

‘The worst thing is that the job is in Cheshire.’ Snowball looked glum.

‘Cheshire? Where is that? Is it far away?’ I asked, fearing the answer.

‘Yes, it’s hours away. Christopher will have to go to a different school, although he doesn’t mind, and Daisy said she would be travelling for work so much that it didn’t matter to her. And she has friends in London she can stay with. Of course, no one asked me what I thought.’

‘Of course they didn’t. Humans can be so selfish. Hold on, does this mean you’re leaving me, Edgar Road, us?’ My eyes were so wide I thought they might ping off my face. Salmon had been right.

‘I don’t know when exactly, but it sounds like it.’ Snowball looked sad and I started to panic. She couldn’t go, not when we were so in love. Not when we’d had such a wonderful holiday together. Though I knew full well that although human life worked very differently to cat life, there was no way they could be so cruel to us. It had to be a mistake. It just had to be.

Snowball and I moped around for the rest of the day.

‘I don’t want to go home,’ she said. She was angry and confused, as was I. I did try to be positive, but there’s only so much of that you can do in such a dire situation, especially when you have the post-holiday blues to boot. I led Snowball into my house and we curled up in my basket in the living room, both of us upset and worried and trying to take some comfort where we could. We must have fallen asleep because when we woke up, Claire, Jonathan, Summer, Tim and Karen were all staring at us.

‘It’s as if they know they’re going to be separated,’ Claire said.

‘Alfie is a very perceptive cat,’ Jonathan added.

‘But how can they know? They’re cats,’ Tim said.

‘Miaow,’ I objected.

‘See,’ Jonathan said. ‘Alfie knows.’

Snowball glared at her owners as, now fully awake, we sat side by side.

‘Maybe …’ Karen sounded uncertain. ‘Maybe you should try to explain it to them, properly. You know, man to cat?’

‘Really?’ Tim asked.‘You want me to talk to the cats and tell them?’

‘I think it’s a good idea,’ Claire concurred.

‘Yes, go on, Tim.’ I wasn’t sure if Jonathan was goading Tim because he found it amusing, but he was smirking a bit. I gave him one of my looks and thankfully he had the grace to look ashamed. After all, this was clearly no joking matter.

Tim cleared his throat. Snowball and I looked at him expectantly.

‘We love living here, on this street, and we’ve made some great friends.’ Tim looked really uncomfortable. ‘But just as moving here was a big decision for our family, and far from ideal at the time, actually, we have had to make another difficult decision. You see, Snowball and Alfie, I’ve been offered a dream job, a really amazing opportunity. It means we can buy our own home again, so I can give my family the security they need and deserve.’ He was a bit pink. I looked at Snowball, who looked at me. I felt a sense of disbelief. Although I had heard they were moving already, having this confirmation from Tim wasn’t making it any easier. I had been holding onto the hope that the rumours weren’t true.

‘As much as we hate to leave here,’ Tim continued,‘having spoken to the family, we feel we have to take this opportunity. We’ll be leaving in a few weeks. It’s all happened very quickly actually.’ He looked at us expectantly but we just stared back at him. ‘And I never wanted to part you two,’ he added.

‘Oh, Alfie, it’ll be all right,’ Claire said, scooping me up in her arms. But I knew it wouldn’t. As I looked at Snowball sitting in my cat basket, her manner changed from sad to angry, I knew it would never be all right again. I felt a sense of rage building inside me. How could they do this to us?

I thought about running away. Maybe Snowball and I could run back to the country, to where we’d been so happy, but I knew we wouldn’t. I couldn’t do the homeless thing again, no matter how much I loved her, and I knew that even though I was angry with our families right now, we both loved them very much. It was an impossible, impossible situation.

All I could hear as the humans began trying to reassure us was the sound of my heart breaking.

Chapter Six

[Êàðòèíêà: i_006.jpg]

It was the day before they were due to leave. The day before my true love was to be ripped away from me. I had been beside myself since Tim’s chat a few weeks ago. Snowball and I had snatched as much time together as we could but something had changed: it was awkward between us, because we knew that it was coming to an end. When we spent time together, it hurt badly. We both felt so sad that our time together was almost over. Yet again, I was losing someone that I loved; how much could my cat heart take?

Claire looked glum as she picked me up and gave me a kiss on the top of my head. Jonathan looked sombre. I had heard them talking, and although they were sad for Snowball and me, I knew they’d also miss the good friends they had made in Edgar Road. I didn’t have the energy to feel sorry for them; I didn’t even have the energy to miaow. I just wanted to curl up in my bed and cry silently.

Saying goodbye is one of life’s biggest cruelties and I had spent a lot of time in my short life saying it. It never got any easier, and this looked set to be the worst one yet.

Claire carried me next door to say a final goodbye to the Snells and Snowball. Tim answered the door, and everyone hugged awkwardly as we walked into the house. It was almost all packed up and the sight of the boxes made me want to wail. Claire gently put me down.

‘Snowball’s in the garden, she’s very unhappy,’ Karen said as she led the way.

I went into the garden and sat next to Snowball. The humans stood on the other side of the patio door but I could feel their eyes on us. For a few minutes neither of us spoke.

‘So this is it then,’ Snowball said. She raised her whiskers but I could see the despondency in the gesture.

‘I just don’t know what to say,’ I replied.‘I wish I could say that we could do something to stop this, but for a cat who is used to solving problems, I have nothing here.’ I felt the pain of her impending departure in every fibre of my fur.

‘Remember how awful I was to you when I first met you,’ she said.

‘Yes, you weren’t very nice. Even after I rescued you, when you accidentally got yourself lost all those years ago. But I never gave up.’

‘And you taught me so much. I don’t want to go, Alfie. I don’t want to leave you but at least I can say I learnt a lot from you.’

‘I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’m going to miss you,’ I told her. She rested her head on mine. I almost felt as if I would stop breathing.

‘Alfie, don’t come and see me tomorrow. I don’t know if I could bear it,’ she said. I could feel her pain as a mirror to my own.

‘I’m not sure I could either. But remember I will always love you and you are in my heart forever,’ I said.

‘And mine.’ Her voice broke and we stayed like that for as long as we could bear it, before we had to tear ourselves away.

Cats might not produce tears, but believe me, we were both weeping. And when I slowly made my way back inside, I saw that Jonathan, Claire, Karen and Tim all had tears in their eyes.

Our‘purrfect’ love had touched everyone. I just wished it didn’t hurt so much.

I sat in my front garden staring at a big removal van. I normally loved the sight of removal vans, as they heralded the arrival of a new family, an area of fascination for a doorstep cat like me, but today as I smoothed down my grey fur, I hated that van. It was taking the Snells’ furniture away, followed by the family and my beloved Snowball. The nightmare we had first heard about on holiday was actually coming true.

I didn’t know how to cope with the despair I was feeling as I stared at the removal van. I wanted to tear myself away and run inside, but I couldn’t stop watching. I was both horrified and mesmerised.

I heard a noise as my best cat friend, Tiger, squeezed under my gate. Although Tiger could be feisty and she hadn’t exactly been Snowball’s biggest fan when they first met, she had thawed towards her and the two cat women in my life had formed a rapport, almost becoming friends.

‘Oh dear,’ she said, looking at me. Tiger wasn’t known for sugar-coating anything.

‘Look, they’re filling the van, and by the end of today they’ll all be gone,’ I said, wanting to yowl with pain.

‘I know and I am sorry, Alfie, it’s really tough. Oh boy, I don’t know what to say. Look, I know you and Snowball have already said goodbye but don’t you want to see her one last time?’

‘Tiger, every day since we heard the news it’s as if we’ve been waiting to say goodbye and it’s been horrible. I would rather be chased by a dog and get stuck up a tree than go through this again. Besides, we said goodbye properly yesterday. I promised her I’d stay indoors today — but Icouldn’t.’

‘Look, come on, I’ll take you to the park and we can chase birds, or tease dogs, it’s your choice.’ She patted me with her paw.‘I promise I won’t let you get stuck up a tree.’ I knew she was trying to cheer me up but I couldn’t feel anything but gloom at the idea of never seeing Snowball again.

‘OK, but I can’t promise I’ll be good company. In fact, I know I’ll be terrible company.’

‘Yeah, well, I’m used to that,’ Tiger said, but she gave me an affectionate look at the same time.

I tried to take my mind off Snowball, and goodness knows Tiger did all she could, but it was still too raw. Tiger tried everything to cheer me up: finding butterflies for me to chase, telling me how Nellie tripped on something— she’s a bit clumsy — and landed on Rocky, which apparently was funny if you were there. She even tried to involve me in the mystery of the pictures on the lamppost, but I couldn’t muster up enthusiasm for anything.

I felt as if I would never be happy again, but I was clinging onto the hope that one day I would start to feel better. I knew I would eventually; I had been through enough in my life to know that although heartbreak never fully went away, it did fade— you just had to give it time. I was quite wise, having accumulated much life experience during my eight cat years. I would never stop loving Snowball or missing her, but the way I was feeling right now would get easier. The pain of losing someone you loved never totally disappeared, but you didget used to living with it. That was how I saw it.

‘I’m sorry, Tiger. I’m so miserable. I’m just not great company,’ I said as I lay down by my favourite flowerbed. A leaf flopped on my head and I brushed it away listlessly.

‘It’s fine, I understand. Remember when Tom went away?’ Tom was a grumpy cat who used to live on our street. He was sort of Tiger’s boyfriend, although she never seemed to like him that much. His owner had died and we had all rallied around trying to figure out where he could live, but a relative took Tom to live with them and he was happy to go. Tiger had been a bit sad but then she didn’t exactly love Tom the way I loved Snowball, although for a few days she had been like a cat with a sore head.

‘Yeah, you were really scratchy,’ I said.

‘OK, yeah, so you’re miserable and I was scratchy but the principle is the same. We’re friends, and friends stick together no matter what — even when they’re not the best company. So if you want to wallow or sulk or cry or even be angry, I’m here for you. Whatever you need, Alfie, I’ll always be here for you.’

‘Tiger, you’re such a good friend and I really appreciate you. I hope you know that.’

‘Well, good, and luckily for you I’m not going anywhere.’

‘Please don’t, I couldn’t bear to lose you as well.’ And then I crumpled. To preserve what little dignity I had left, I shuffled fully under the nearest bush and then I yowled. I could feel the pain in every sound that escaped my mouth. Finally, when I was exhausted and could make no more noise, I emerged, tired and feeling as if I had lost something of myself. Tiger, who had been waiting patiently, put her paw on mine.

‘Come on, Alfie, I’ll take you home,’ she said.

The van had left by the time we got back to my house and so had the Snells’ car. They had gone. Tiger walked me to the back door and bade me farewell at the cat flap. I went through it, although even that felt like a major effort. I padded sadly to the kitchen. Claire, Jonathan and Summer and Polly, Matt and their children — Henry and Martha — were all there. They looked at me and I saw the sympathy in their eyes. Well, not the children — they just played on the floor, oblivious to my pain. I noticed that my favourite food, pilchards, sat in my bowl, but I had no appetite.

‘Alfie,’ Claire said. I just looked at each of them, sadly, and walked out, ignoring the food and going upstairs to my bed on the landing. I curled up in it and begged for sleep to come.

Chapter Seven

[Êàðòèíêà: i_007.jpg]

I sat on the sofa, listlessly watching the sun stream through the window. It had been a week since Snowball left, and the longing I felt, just to see her, speak to her, hear her voice, was all consuming. I had barely been out; I didn’t even want to see my friends. I just wanted to be alone with my poor, aching heart. Even Summer’s lovely smile had been unable to cheer me up, although I did put on a brave face for her, letting her cuddle me and even pull my tail, although that took all the energy I had.

This evening, my Polish family— Franceska, big Tomasz, Aleksy and little Tomasz — were all coming over in yet another effort to cheer me up. It was Claire’s idea. I wanted to try to be more like my old self, if only for my humans’ sakes, as they were being so kind and trying so hard, but I was oh so tired. It was like Ihad an illness of the heart.

‘Alfie?’ Jonathan sat down next to me, interrupting my thoughts. I nudged my head lethargically against his arm. It was the most I could offer.

‘Right, Alfie,’ he said. He was wearing his work clothes, the smart ones he normally kept away from me in case a bit of my fur snuck onto them, and he had a beer in his hand. This must be serious if he was risking his best clothes, I thought, and I couldn’t resist rubbing my head against his suit sleeve. I might be a bit down in the dumps but still … Especially as he didn’t even tell me off! He took a sip of his beer and then, looking solemn, he put it down on the coffee table.

‘I know that this sucks,’ he said, looking slightly embarrassed.‘We were very sad that Snowball had to go — we knew how close you two had become. But it’s human stuff. Jobs, houses, schools, it all added up to the Snells having to move away, and unfortunately you’re a casualty of that.’ He paused to lean forwards and take another sip of beer. I looked at him; I had no idea where this was going.‘The thing is that women, well, we love them and we lose them sometimes — but then you might find someone like I found Claire.’ He beamed as if he had solved all my problems.

‘Miaow.’He found Claire, really? I think he’ll find I handed her to him on a plate! I rolled my eyes, as I thought back to my careful matchmaking when I first arrived on Edgar Road.

‘Claire is wonderful, and I love her deeply. She may have her moments, but when I think about some of the women I have been with … Goodness, I still shudder to remember them.’

No, I still had no idea where this was going.

‘So, anyway, the thing is, you need to dust yourself off and get back out there. You know, back in the game. Stalking alleyways for new cats the way we go to bars.’

Was he for real? Was he telling me to go down an alleyway?

‘You see,’ Jonathan continued. ‘The best way to get over heartbreak is to put yourself out there, even if it’s just for a bit of fun. Oh yes, the rebound is actually quite healthy, and you must have ways of meeting cat ladies. That Tiger down the road is pretty cute for a stripy cat. Anyway, it’s like they say, you need to get back on the horse.’

He looked pleased with himself as he downed the rest of his beer and stood up. I looked at him. Was he mad? Horses? Tiger? I might be heartbroken but Jonathan had lost the plot. If I could talk to humans I would have had a lot of questions to ask him. Instead, I put my head down, even more exhausted than before.

Claire came into the room.

‘Oh, there you are.’ She came up to Jonathan and kissed him.‘How did it go?’ she asked.

‘Yeah, I think I got through to him,’ he said as I lay down on the sofa and curled myself up into a ball.

‘Really? He still looks sad,’ Claire pointed out.

‘Give him a bit of time. We had a chat, like you asked me to. You know — man to cat. It’s all good.’

As they both left the room, Claire looked back at me— she clearly wasn’t convinced. But then again, neither was I.

After a short catnap, I got up and greeted my other families. Although the adults could deal with my heartache, I knew the children couldn’t, especially my first-ever child friend, Aleksy, who was nearly eleven now and had always been a sensitive boy. He would hate to see me sad. Little Tomasz, who wasn’t so little, nearly as big as Aleksy despite being three years younger, was more of a physical child, and he didn’t really pick up on emotions. Polly and Matt’s children, Henry, who was almost five, and three-year-old Martha, were too young to understand my pain. As I played with them, mainly with a ball and ribbons, I made a huge effort. It wasn’t easy, but to see my friends smiling and hear them laugh was a tonic. I made a special fuss of all the children, especially Aleksy, and it did cheer me up just a tiny little bit. It was lovely to be surrounded by the love of my families. Having all of them there was such a treat, and I just about managed to be like the old me for a short while.

My families got together frequently. Polly and Matt lived on the same street and I often spent time at their house, where they had been kind enough to install a cat flap for me. Frankie and Tomasz lived a few streets away, above the restaurant they owned. The restaurant food was delicious.

Talking of food, I was distracted by the smell of it. Tomasz had brought a feast from his restaurant for everyone and he’d brought me sardines which, even though my appetite wasn’t quite what it normally was, were quite welcome. I tried my best to appreciate the food and count my blessings, although it wasn’t easy. Nothing at the moment was easy — it was as if my paws were stuck in mud.

‘So how is Alfie?’ Franceska asked Claire. I could hear them, as they had a habit of talking in front of me as if I didn’t understand. They did the same with the younger children.

‘Sad. He seems sad. He’s been off his food and he’s barely been out. I know he’ll recover but it’s heartbreaking,’ Claire said. She liked to read books, and lately she had been reading classic romances, which seemed to have made her even softer than normal.‘I just feel so terrible forhim, to love and then to lose. We’ve all been there, haven’t we?’

‘He’ll be fine,’ Jonathan cut in. ‘He’s a man, he’ll soon bounce back.’

‘Typical male point of view,’ Polly added.

‘I’m sure Jon’s right. He’ll soon be his old self,’ said Matt.

‘Hey, why doesn’t he come and stay with us for a couple of days,’ big Tomasz suggested.‘A change of scene might help.’

‘That’s not a bad idea,’ Claire said.‘Maybe next weekend?’

I gave up eating and curled up by Franceska’s feet, nestling into her legs. A weekend away wouldn’t solve my problems, but it would be nice to be with them all and it would mean I wouldn’t have to look at the empty house next door. Plus, I’d have the boys to keep me occupied and I’d get to spend time with my cat friend Dustbin. I felt something akin to hope for the first time since I had heard that Snowball was leaving.

‘Yeah, can he come?’ Aleksy said, sounding excited. It seemed it was all settled. I would take my broken heart away for the weekend.

That night, I was thinking about my weekend away when I heard Jonathan and Claire arguing. It was a funny kind of argument though, because ever since Summer was born, they rowed in whispered voices. I was worried. After all, whilst I had enough problems of my own, I didn’t want anyone else to be unhappy — I wasn’t sure I could bear it. I crept closer to their room to listen.

‘Look, we can get a second opinion,’ I heard Jonathan say.

‘You mean a third opinion. Jon, I am trying to tell you, it’s pointless, and it’s time we faced facts. I’m OK, really. We were lucky with Summer, but there aren’t going to be any more babies. I’m sorry I can’t give you another child but at least we have her.’

‘I know, we’ve got Summer and Alfie … It’s fine, as long as you’re all right. I mean … OK, yes, I would ideally love another child but it’s more important that our family — you, me, Sum and Alfie — are all right. I love you.’ I felt a bit relieved, it seemed they weren’t really arguing after all.

‘No, I’m fine. Please don’t worry, this isn’t going to send me back to my black days, it really isn’t. I’m disappointed, but I think deep down I knew, the tests just confirmed it.’ Claire did have dark moments, which made us all worry terribly, but it was only when things went wrong. She seemed to be coping with life so much better these days — there was no doubt that Jonathan and Summer had brought great joy into her life. It was if they had taught her how to be happy.

‘So we’re OK? Then why are we arguing?’

‘I don’t know.’ I saw Claire sit down on the bed.‘Jonathan, I don’t want Summer to be an only child.’

‘But you just said you were OK?’

‘I am, but that doesn’t mean we can’t adopt. There are so many children out there who need a good, loving home. We’ve got all that and more. We have space, we can afford it …’

‘I don’t know.’ I could hear the doubt in Jonathan’s voice.

‘But why not?’

‘Because.’ I could almost hear Jonathan folding his arms across his chest. He could be such a child sometimes.

‘Because why, darling?’ I saw through a crack in the door that Claire had put her arm on his.

‘It’s complicated. I just think it’s a big step, taking in someone else’s child. And then the adoption process is gruelling, we might not even be accepted.’

‘Oh, Jon, I’m sure we will, I’ve spoken to Dad … We might not get a baby, but I know that they are crying out for homes for older children. We’re not criminals or insane …’ She attempted a laugh.

‘I’m not so sure. I mean about adopting, not being a criminal. Or insane.’

‘OK, but will you at least agree to let me look into it?’ I heard Claire’s pleading voice and then Jonathan’s sigh.

‘If you really have your heart set on it then we can look into it, but I’m not promising anything.’

‘Hey, like you said, we might not even be accepted, but at least let me find out. I don’t want to wonder about it, that’s all.’

‘Hey, I’d be more agreeable to you adopting a new girlfriend for Alfie,’ Jonathan joked. He often did this when he was uncomfortable, tried to make a joke. A pretty poor joke, in my opinion.

‘Jon, that’s not funny. But now you mention it …’

‘I was joking,’ he said.

‘I know you were. OK, let’s go to bed.’ As I saw them settle down for the night, I went back to my basket, thankful that everything was fine and there was nothing to worry about. Apart from myself of course.

Chapter Eight

[Êàðòèíêà: i_008.jpg]

‘So you’ve never been in love?’ I asked. I was in the small yard behind the restaurant with Dustbin. Dustbin was my friend and the cat who sort of worked for Tomasz’s restaurant. He was what he referred to as feral; he had never lived in a house before and liked it that way. He lived in theyard outside the restaurant and Franceska and big Tomasz’s flat and he kept the vermin under control. We’d known each other since I had started visiting here and he was also one of the wisest cats I’d ever met.

It was nearing the end of the weekend and I have to say that it had done me the world of good. I’d eaten well, having found my appetite, and I found it easier not to pine, being a bit further away from Snowball’s old house.

‘Can’t say I have,’ Dustbin replied, eating some leftovers that Tomasz had put out for him, baring his teeth at a foolhardy mouse who had come a bit too close. Dustbin was the master of multi-tasking.‘I’m not that kind of cat. I like my own company most of the time. I like hanging out with you and passing the time of day, and I don’t mind hunting with some of the other cats around here, but romance and all that — nah, it’s not for me.’

‘But love is wonderful,’ I continued, feeling quite poetic, despite the fact we were surrounded by bins and rodents in a pretty ugly yard. It certainly wasn’t like my last time away, in the country. A picture of Snowball and me popped into my head, running through the long grass without a care in the world, and I yowled.

‘That’s as maybe, but you’re not feeling wonderful now,’ Dustbin pointed out. I couldn’t argue with that. ‘Look, mate, I know you loved that cat. I remember when we rescued her when she ran away, I saw how much she meant to you then. I’m sorry it’s been so tough for you.’

‘Thanks, Dustbin. And you’re right, but spending the weekend here has been such a tonic, I do feel a bit better.’

‘Yeah, well, I think it’s good for you to have a break from home, and sometimes a bit of distance can give you perspective. I know that when I have a problem, going off to roam away from here often gives me clarity.’

‘You’re a wise old cat, even if you’ve never been in love,’ I said, and I meant it.‘But I’d better go now, I think my visit here is nearly over.’

‘Ta, Alfie. Right, make sure you come back again soon, now you’ve got a bit more time on your paws. And maybe I’ll teach you to hunt,’ he grinned.

‘No. I mean, yes, I’ll come back, but no to hunting. It never ends well for me.’ I shuddered. The last time I had been bitten by a cheeky mouse. It was too humiliating.

‘OK, but we can hang out nonetheless. I have to get on now, there’s this awful rat who thinks he can come here whenever he wants, and it’s time for me to show him who’s boss. Unless you want to come with me?’

‘Um, as tempting an offer as that is, I think I’ll give it a miss,’ I said, backing away.

Yes, the weekend had done me some good. The boys had been fun to hang out with: we’d played football — or paw-ball — at the park and I had been given plenty of treats. I felt as if the adults were being extra kind to me, especially food-wise, like they were trying to feed me up. I missed my other humans, especially little Summer, but I was happier than I had been since Snowball left. Although missing Snowball was still occupying most of my time, the weekend had proved a distraction. I couldn’t stop hurting, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to. I loved her so much that the pain was a reminder of that, and in some ways it comforted me — although I understood that that made little sense.

I made my way back up to the flat where Aleksy and little Tomasz were playing a game on their games console. Franceska was sitting down, which was rare for her, and having a cup of tea. Big Tomasz was sitting at their small dining table, planning menus for the following week. It was a lovely, harmonious family scene.

‘Ha ha, I win,’ Aleksy shouted, punching his arm in the air.

‘You cheated,’ little Tomasz replied.

‘I didn’t, how could I cheat?’ Aleksy looked at his brother who threw the game controller down in a huff. OK, maybe not so lovely.

‘Enough, boys,’ Franceska said.‘If you can’t play nicely together you lose the games. And anyway, we have to go soon to take Alfie home.’

‘Oh no, does he have to go?’ Aleksy came over and picked me up. Little Tomasz stroked me, all arguments forgotten as I nestled into the boys and purred.

‘Yes, unfortunately, then we’ll come home and you have to do homework. It’s school tomorrow.’ The boys started complaining and big Tomasz shushed them as Franceska went to get my things together. They decided that, as it was warm, we would walk home, though I got carried some of the way as I still hadn’t fully regained my strength. I was glad to be in big Tomasz’s arms when we walked past the Snells’ house. There was a ‘To Let’ sign outside it now, which made me feel terrible all over again; I was almost as empty as that house.

We stood on the doorstep and Jonathan opened the door.

‘So glad you’re here,’ he said.‘Can you all stay for a bit?’

‘Just for half an hour,’ Franceska replied. ‘The boys have homework.’

‘I’ll put the kettle on then,’ Jonathan said. As I walked in, I immediately knew something was different. I could sense something, or I could smell something — I wasn’t sure what it was. As big Tomasz put me down in the hall, I knew that something was wrong.

‘Oh my,’ I heard Franceska exclaim from the kitchen. I stayed where I was, trying to figure out what was going on. The boys stayed with me.

‘My goodness, what on earth?’ I heard big Tomasz say as he too entered the kitchen.

‘It was Claire’s idea and I’m not sure it’s one of her better ones,’ Jonathan replied, sounding tetchy.

‘It’s gorgeous,’ Franceska said.

‘I tried to talk her out of it but she wouldn’t budge,’ Jonathan moaned. ‘I mean really!’ He didn’t sound happy. Just what was going on?

‘Well, you gave me the idea. You know, when you said you wished we could adopt a new girlfriend for Alfie,’ Claire said.

‘Yes, but I was joking and I certainly didn’t mean this.’

Oh boy! I couldn’t move. Had they got me a new girlfriend? That was crazy. But it made sense with the smell I could detect. Although it didn’t exactly smell like a female cat but, yes, there was a definite scent. There was another cat in this house! Oh, what had Claire done now?

‘Well, of course we couldn’t get him a new girlfriend, you don’t just get over love like that,’ Claire snapped.

Phew! I was relieved, but if it wasn’t a female cat, what was it?

‘No, but I’m not sure this is going to help him — or us, for that matter,’ Jonathan snapped back.

‘Oh, ignore him. It was fate. I saw an advert on the local Facebook “for sale” page. So we went to see him,’ Claire said.

Went to see who?

‘It was just such brilliant timing. He was supposed to go to a family who had paid a deposit and everything but then changed their minds, so he was ready to go.’

‘How old is he?’ big Tomasz asked.

‘Fourteen weeks.’

I felt my fur stand on end.

‘It does sound like fate, and he’s very, very beautiful, littlekochanie,’ Franceska said. I heard a tiny little mewing sound.

‘Where’s Alfie?’ Jonathan asked.

I was full of trepidation as I finally walked into the kitchen, terrified as to what I would find. And there, my worst nightmare was confirmed. OK, maybe not my worst nightmare— I mean, it wasn’t a dog! But still I shuddered. Claire was cuddling a bundle of fur. A small, orange-and-black striped bundle with grey eyes. Oh, what had she done?

‘Alfie, kitten,’ Summer said, pointing at it.

‘Alfie’s kitten?’ Aleksy asked, coming up beside me. ‘Wow, look at him, he’s so cool, I love him!’ We all looked at the kitten. The kitten stared at me. He was tiny, and he was in my kitchen, in my house.

‘Yes, darling, that’s right. Everyone, meet George. Alfie, he’s your kitten.’

Chapter Nine [Êàðòèíêà: i_009.jpg]

My paws were rooted to the spot as Claire bent down to bring me nose to nose with the kitten.My kitten. I felt a wave of panic, as he, George, eyed me suspiciously. He really was incredibly small, and somehow also mesmerising. The children were all so excited by him, but I didn’t know what to do.

‘Can I see?’ little Tomasz said, saving me, as the three children crowded round and took turns having a cuddle. George made these quiet and very cute mewing sounds, and I wanted to both take care of him and run away in equal measure.

I used the distraction of the children fussing over him to head to the back door. I needed some fresh air, time to breath and think. Yes, that was what I should do, just take a few moments to clear my head and then I would come back and deal with the situation. What on earth was Claire thinking? How was I supposed to cope with George when I couldn’t cope with myself?

At times like this, I couldn’t help thinking that Jonathan was infinitely the more sensible of the two. How on earth could Claire think that getting me a kitten would help me in any way, shape or form?

I needed to get out. I wanted to go and see Tiger and tell her about this terrible turn of events, so I ran to jump through my cat flap.

‘Yowl.’ I hit the cat flap with force, but it didn’t move and bounced me backwards, taking me by surprise as I landed on my tail. Ouch, that hurt.

‘Oh goodness, sorry, Alfie.’ Claire rushed forwards.‘We had to close the cat flap because of George. It’s not forever, only until he’s allowed out.’ She looked a bit guilty at this, at least.

‘So how is Alfie going to go out?’ Aleksy asked, echoing my thoughts. He was holding George and cuddling him. Normally I might have been put out by the fact that they all seemed far more interested in this striped kitten than me, but I didn’t have the energy to be jealous. Especially as I nowhad a sore tail and no idea how to escape.

‘Well, we’ll just have to kind of figure it out I guess,’ Claire said, looking as if she hadn’t thought this through. ‘We’ll let him out if he stands by the door and then when he wants to come in, he can miaow loudly so we hear him. He is a clever cat after all.’ She sounded as if this was the most normal thing, which for me it certainly was not, and Jonathan rolled his eyes. I wished I could do the same; it seemed I was to be a prisoner in my own home. On top of everything else, I had lost my freedom.

‘And anyway, he’s been out all day. Alfie, you need to stay in and bond with George,’ she said. Great. I’d had a lovely weekend away and now I was trapped with a kitten. He might be adorable, but still … This was not what I wanted, not at all.

However, showing my displeasure would have taken energy and, despite the fact that Claire had just managed to make my terrible life even worse, I still loved her. I guessed she was trying to do the right thing. I could hear Franceska saying what a great idea it was and even big Tomasz seemed to agree. It seemed only Jonathan and myself had any reservations about this George. And anyway, what kind of name was that for a kitten?

As we saw my friends out, I nuzzled the boys, wishing in a way that I could go back with them. How simple my life had been that morning: just me and Dustbin, playing with the boys, sardines on tap, heartbreak. But now… Now I had a kitten and no idea what I was supposed to do with him.

I went to the living room and Summer came bounding in after me. She cuddled me, a little roughly, as she always does, but I knew she meant well. I worried fleetingly for George. Summer wasn’t the gentlest child and he was so small and fragile.

‘Sum, you have to be really careful with George,’ Claire said. I felt immediately relieved. She carried George in and put him on the floor. He stood up, not quite as tiny as he had first seemed now that he was on four legs. I tried to remember being that young but my memory failed me. I remembered when I went to my first home, feeling scared, and then having to face the formidable Agnes, my owner’s other cat. Though she didn’t like me for a few weeks, she eventually became like a sister to me. But that was all I could recall. As George came right up to me, sniffing me, I looked kindlyat him. It wasn’t his fault. He was just a helpless kitten. Oh goodness, he was my helpless kitten now. I nudged gently at him with my nose. I didn’t have it in me to be anything but kind to the poor little thing. As he looked at me with those eyes, waving his little tail gently, I knew that, somehow, I had to take care of him. Hewas my kitten.

‘Look, Jonathan, look, Alfie already loves him. I knew it!’ Claire sounded triumphant. George looked at me questioningly. Although Agnes had eventually come round, it had been difficult and scary for me at first, and I couldn’t do that to George. I wouldn’t do it to anyone, but especially not this little chap. But then I’m a tom and we are typically far less difficult than women. Well, I think so anyway! George came closer to me and then Summer approached with a piece of ribbon in her hands. He was wide-eyed as he bounded over to play with it.

As Summer giggled and George chased the ribbon, Claire looked on happily. Even I couldn’t stop a smile finding its way onto my face.

‘I knew it would work out. Adding to our family isn’t a bad thing, Jonathan. In any way we can,’ she said pointedly, giving his cheek a kiss.

He hugged her back but he didn’t reply.

That evening we ate our first supper together. Though George had his own bowl of food he kept looking longingly at mine.

‘Hello,’ I said warmly, when the humans were out of earshot.

‘Hello,’ he replied in his little voice.

‘This is your first tea here. I hope you enjoy it.’

‘Thank you.’ I could hear his voice shake a little and I thought he must be terrified; he certainly looked it.

George had special kitten food, which meant they couldn’t leave my food down on the floor in case he ate it. Claire had told me that if I wanted it I had to eat it all at once. This kept getting worse! I, like many cats, liked to graze, not always licking the bowl clean straight away. But now I had to eat it all or lose it. George ate from his bowl tentatively; the poor thing really did seem confused, and after tea, he followed me to the living room.

‘Aren’t you going to clean me?’ he asked, as I began my ablutions.

‘What? No,’ I replied. ‘You clean yourself.’ I immediately felt guilty for sounding so irritated. It was enough effort to keep myself spick and span, but that wasn’t George’s fault. He looked at me, wide-eyed, and I melted a bit. Damn, he was just so cute.

‘My mum always cleaned me,’ he said, sounding so forlorn I wanted to wail. ‘I miss her.’ I almost crumpled. This poor kitten was in a strange home for the first time, and although it happened to all of us, it would take some getting used to for him. Yes, he was lucky to have ended up in such a loving home, but that didn’t mean it was going to be easy for him. I needed to be the strong one for him. I had been thinking about myself too much and someone else needed me more: George.

‘Look,’ I said, more gently this time. ‘Watch me and then you can learn how to do it.’ I slowly cleaned myself while he looked on.

Later that night, Claire announced she was going to bed, picking up George, who had been sleeping on her lap. He yawned and blinked. I followed them upstairs. His tiny bed had been placed next to mine. I climbed into mine and Claire placed George in his. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Some time later, I was woken by distressed mewing. As I opened my eyes and pricked my ears I saw it was George, crying in his bed.

‘George? What’s wrong?’ I asked, sleepily.

‘I miss my mummy,’ he cried, and I felt very sorry for him. I don’t remember my cat mum, and I knew that George would forget over time, but now he was distraught and I felt my already broken heart break some more.

‘I understand,’ I said. ‘I know plenty about missing those you love, but you’ve got us now — me, Claire, Jonathan and Summer and the other families. You’ll be OK.’ The poor mite deserved comfort, so I tried to sound reassuring. I stretched across and climbed into his bed, curling up and wrapping my tail around him, in the way I hoped a parent would.

‘Are you my new mummy?’ he asked, looking at me hopefully.

‘No, George. I’m male, a boy. A mummy is female.’

‘So you’re my dad?’ he persisted.

‘Well, no. I mean, not really. But if you like, you can think of me like that. But now it’s time for sleep.’

‘OK, Dad.’ George closed his eyes and I curled tighter around his little warm body, feeling an overwhelming need to keep him safe.

I had suddenly and unwittingly become a father.

Chapter Ten [Êàðòèíêà: i_010.jpg]

‘Tiger, it’s not funny,’ I said the following morning, swishing my tail in annoyance as she carried on regardless. I’d managed to get out, although the minute I did, I worried about George. I worried about all my humans, especially the little ones, but this was different; somehow I felt evenmore responsible for him.

I told him I had to go, which he didn’t seem to understand, but I promised him he’d be fine. He’d quivered as he made me promise I’d be back soon. It was upsetting but I reassured him as much as I could. Poor kid. But Claire and Summer were home, so at least I hadn’t left him on his own. I couldn’t have done that.

‘But it is quite funny,’ Tiger said, swishing her tail back at me, when I recounted how I’d had to show George how to use the litter tray. Claire had tried putting him in it yesterday evening but each time he’d been terrified and scrabbled straight back out. Then little Summer tried to playwith the tray, which sent Claire crazy, and so she had to explain to Summer to keep out at all costs while trying to encourage George to use it. Humans! They really had very little idea sometimes.

So when no one was around I explained to George what it was used for, why he had to use it for now, and how it wouldn’t hurt him. Embarrassingly, I then had to pretend to do my toileting in it by way of a practical demonstration. Although he had been caught short in the kitchen this morning, he had almost got the hang of it already, thanks to me.

‘Just the idea of you in the litter tray,’ Tiger finished, still laughing.

‘Tiger, listen, yesterday all I had to do was indulge my broken heart and now I’m responsible for a kitten. I can only go out when someone lets me out and ditto back in, which is no good for a doorstep cat is it?’

She tilted her head in sympathy.‘When can George go out?’

‘Claire said a few weeks. He has to have some stuff done at the vet first. I didn’t listen past the word vet.’ I shuddered.

‘Sounds as if you’re fond of him already.’

‘Well, you can’t help it. Oh, Tiger, you should see him — he’s a bit like a mini you actually. So cute, and I know he’s going to be very handsome when he grows up. And clever! I mean he picked up the litter tray so quickly, and he’s got these lovely eyes and such sweet whiskers, I can’t wait for you to meet him …’

‘Oh, Alfie, you sound like a proud parent. You’ll be getting the photos out next.’

‘Don’t be silly, cats can’t take photos,’ I snapped, but I saw what she meant. I had been put under George’s spell. I sounded like Claire when she talked about Summer, or Matt when he talked about his two. It seemed I had definitely taken to parenthood, and although I still wasn’t happyin myself, I had to admit that George kept me so busy I barely had time to pine for my beloved Snowball.

‘By the way, Alfie, another picture went up yesterday. That makes four cat pictures on lampposts.’

Again, I felt something niggling at me. I felt like I knew what this was but I couldn’t quite remember. ‘Are the cats from Edgar Road?’ I asked.

‘No, none of them, or if they are we’ve never seen them,’ Tiger said. It seemed unlikely that they were from Edgar Road: though not all the cats on our road were friends, and some kept themselves to themselves, we would still recognise most of them.

‘I wonder what it is.’

‘Well, the others think it’s some kind of cat beauty contest. You know, the owners putting the pictures up of their cats as a way of boasting.’

I narrowed my eyes at Tiger suspiciously.‘Tiger, you do know that that makes absolutely no sense don’t you?’

‘Well, I’m not sure.’

‘If it was then don’t you think my picture would be up there?’

‘Oh, Alfie, you are one vain cat.’

‘OK, fine. But they would have put up a picture of the new kitten, George, at the very least. He’s the best-looking cat around. Next to me.’

‘I get your point. Perhaps your owners will put your pictures up soon, and then we’ll know. And if it’s not some weird competition among humans, then what is it?’

‘Look, I have enough on my plate with my new charge but I’ll figure it out, I promise.’

I reluctantly left Tiger to go and play in the park and then I popped into Polly and Matt’s house to say hello. I couldn’t neglect my families totally for my kitten. In any case, I was sure that Summer, who seemed to think George — or Deorge, as she called him — was her new toy, would be taking care of him, or terrorising him, but hopefully the former.

I felt amazingly free as I leapt through the cat flap and padded into Polly and Matt’s kitchen, where to my surprise they were both sitting at the table. I knew Henry would be at school and Martha at pre-school, but Matt would normally be at work at this time and I’d have Polly to myself. She had been doing something called ‘interior design’ for the last two years and had just finished her course. Apparently she was very good at it, which you could tell because their house was incredibly beautiful, and it was all down to her. She had also helped Claire make our house much better, although she had had to try and combine the Jonathan’s minimalist taste with Claire’s love of scatter cushions, which apparently wasn’t easy. More recently, she had helped big Tomasz redesign his restaurant. Although she didn’t work too much, she had picked up some freelance work now and then, as the children weren’t at home so much.

I went up to Polly first but she looked at me and blinked as if she hadn’t really seen me.

‘Hi, Alfie,’ she said eventually, bending down to stroke me, although it was clearly half-hearted. Matt didn’t even acknowledge me. I immediately knew something was wrong, I could feel it in my fur. I felt my heart drop even further — it would be in my paws at this rate.

‘Look, love, it’s not the end of the world. I know that you loved your job but you’re so talented and you’ll find another one,’ Polly said, giving Matt’s hand a squeeze. I rubbed Matt’s legs in reassurance but he didn’t seem to notice. He’d lost his job? How? This seemed to have come from nowhere.

‘Maybe. I mean, I will, yes, but you know what the economy’s like right now, it’s going to take time. And we have two kids, a mortgage … How the hell are we going to manage?’

‘Well,’ Polly started.‘I know it’s not ideal but I did get that offer from DF Design. I know I turned it down, but—’

‘I thought you didn’t want the job?’ Matt looked surprised.

‘I wanted to work for them but the job was full time and I was hoping for part time so I could work around the kids. When I told them I couldn’t do it, not with the kids, they said to call them if I changed my mind. I didn’t want to work full time, but it’s on a contract basis so maybe, just until you sort yourself out, I could try it? It’s not as much money as you were earning but at least we’d have something coming in.’ She didn’t exactly look thrilled, but then this was a shock.

‘I can’t believe this has happened, no warning, the whole company gone under. None of us even saw it coming’. Matt clenched his fists. He was normally so laid back but he was definitely angry, and hurting, and I immediately felt upset for them both.

‘I know, love. I’m sorry. But if I can go and work for DF then at least that’ll be something.’

‘So I have to be a househusband?’ He sounded crosser than I’d ever heard him. I snuck under the table. I wanted to hear the end of this conversation but I also didn’t, if you know what I mean.

‘God, Matt, it’s not the 1950s! Men do look after their children and the house now. And you know full well that if we had a choice then no, you wouldn’t need to — I like being with the kids. At least we have an option — a lifesaver even,’ Polly snapped.

‘But I’ve always worked. I just don’t know if I know how not to work. What am I meant to do, make you a packed lunch and wave you off every day?’ Matt was shouting and Matt never shouted.

‘No, you make terrible sandwiches.’ She tried to laugh. ‘Look, Matt, we don’t have many options. I’ll take this job — it’s a rolling contract so it seems like the perfect solution until you find another role.’

‘Right, so I look after the kids and the home? Play house?’ Matt asked again. It seemed to be his sticking point.

‘They’re your kids and it’s your home so yes. It’s not the end of the world, Matt.’ Now Polly sounded angry. ‘Do you realise how patronising you sound? I’ve been doing this job for five years now and you seem to think it’s beneath you.’

‘Sorry, Pol, I don’t think that, it’s just that I’ve always worked.’ He kept repeating himself but I could tell he was still in shock.

‘I know.’ Her voice softened. ‘But now I have to. Listen, love, you’ll have plenty of time to look for a job and go to interviews when the kids are at school, and at least this way the bills will be paid. It won’t be so bad, you’ll see.’

‘I know, I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m still in shock.’ Ah, I was right. He put his head in his hands. Polly leaned over and put an arm around him.

‘I know, love, but thank goodness for DF Design. Someone is looking after us at least.’ Polly smiled sadly and I slunk off. I was looking after them too, although I couldn’t take credit for the job offer.

Back at my house, I hit my head as I lunged at the cat flap. I was so preoccupied with Matt and Polly that I forgot about it being closed. I’d have a very sore head if I kept doing this. I jumped onto the kitchen windowsill and tried to tap the glass, miaowing very loudly. It wasn’t too long before Claire saw me. I jumped down and ran to the back door.

‘Oh, thank God,’ she said as she opened the door. I tilted my head.‘We’ve got a problem, Alfie. It’s George.’

Summer came running towards me.‘Deorge, Deorge, Deorge,’ she kept shouting. I felt my heart beat faster, my fur standing on end. What had happened?

‘We can’t find him,’ said Claire.‘He can’t have gone out — he was here after you’d gone and I haven’t opened the door since, but I can’t find him anywhere.’

I made my way into the house, my tail bushy with fear. Claire had opened all the cupboards and emptied them, covering the whole kitchen floor with their contents. I carefully manoeuvred my way through the mess and tried to stay calm. He had to be here somewhere, but I felt scared for the little baby. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have left him. He’d only just moved here. I should have gone out, done what I had to do and then come straight home. What kind of parent was I? I began to feel slightly hysterical as I hunted for him. I could smell his scent but it was everywhere he’d been. I checked the ground floor before climbing the stairs and trying not to panic.

I miaowed loudly but heard nothing in reply. My heart pounded. I checked under Summer’s little bed, which was a cosy hiding place that would be perfect for a kitten, then I looked in all the other rooms, but I couldn’t find him anywhere.

I lay on Claire and Jonathan’s bed to take a break and think of a plan. I’d been hunting for quite a while with absolutely no luck. I was fretting as to where the lad could be. I stretched out and sniffed at the bedding, wracking my brain as to what I could do next. Bingo! I figured it out in my very clever cat way. Claire had obviously just changed the linen on her bed. It was invitingly fresh — just the sort of thing that a little kitten would like. I realised what must have happened and hurried to the linen cupboard. I could hear a gentle snoring — well, more of a snuffle — coming from inside, but the door was closed.

‘MIAOW,’ I shouted with all my might, which brought Claire running towards me. Honestly, humans. It was lucky George had me, I thought, as I nudged at the door.

‘Thank goodness!’ Claire exclaimed as she opened the door.‘Ahh, look at him, he’s so cute.’

‘Oh, bless,’ I thought, as we both stared at George curled up on a pile of freshly laundered towels, fast asleep.

‘I used to watch Summer sleeping for hours,’ Claire said, and as we both stood and stared, I knew exactly what she meant.

‘So what happened?’ I asked George as we sat side by side on Claire and Jonathan’s bed later that evening.

‘It smelled so good in there that I decided to lie down. Then it was so comfortable that I fell asleep and Claire must have closed the door,’ he said. It sounded simple. I’d been shut in cupboards before — it was easily done. I knew it wasn’t his fault, but I had learnt a lesson from my mistake and George needed to as well.

‘OK, I understand. But they were worried about you and so was I. You shouldn’t go into any open cupboards, you risk getting shut in and, well, you were lucky that I could smell you. Claire was too busy emptying all the kitchen cupboards to think of looking for you up here. You could have been in there for hours, days even, if I hadn’t found you.’

‘Days?’ His beautiful eyes were as wide as saucers.

‘Living with humans isn’t always easy, George. But don’t worry, I’m here to teach you.’

‘Thanks, Alfie — Dad.’ When he said that my heart melted.

Summer bounded into the room and dived onto the bed. She scooped George up and ran downstairs, babbling about a new game she wanted to play.

I smiled as I watched them go. Summer was like a human sister to me, and now that George was my kitten I had two little ones to take care of. I was overwhelmed with a need for them both to be happy, but right now I was glad that Summer was there to play with George. Apart from all the human business, running around and having to take care of little ones, plus the cats on the lamppost mystery, I also needed a bit of time to myself to think of Snowball, who I still missed with all my heart. Or the bit of it that George hadn’t stolen anyway.

Chapter Eleven [Êàðòèíêà: i_011.jpg]

George had officially been with us for just over a week, and what an exhausting week it had been. I was suffering from sleep deprivation— George still woke most nights — and constant worry. Looking after him had taken its toll on me. This parenting lark wasn’t as easy as I had always assumed. I know humans moan about how hard it is, but I had just assumed that was because they weren’t cats. It seems I was wrong.

The whole house was besotted with George, myself included. Us grown-ups would marvel at the way he would lie on his back and play with his paws, like Summer used to do when she was a baby. It made us all smile. Or the way he would nestle into Jonathan’s neck while he watched TV, his gentle purring making his fur tremble slightly. Or when he lay on the sofa, asleep on his back, and Claire stroked him — he would put his paws over his head, stretching out to be stroked even more. It was the sweetest thing ever.

After the linen cupboard incident I barely let him out of my sight. I needed to teach him how to fend for himself, which he definitely needed. Despite my lesson on the importance of staying out of cupboards, I had to drag him out of a kitchen cupboard the following day. He said he wanted to explore, which I understood, but I seemed to be constantly warning him of the dangers. And suddenly dangers were everywhere. I wasn’t sure if I could kitten-proof the house, let alone the world — an even more terrifying thought.

He had also been pinching my food; I caught him with his nose in my tuna, and, well, let’s just say I’m not used to sharing. But I couldn’t bring myself to get angry with him, not when he looked at me with those cute eyes, that smile and his little whiskers. I was putty in his paws. I found telling him off difficult already, but I knew I had to, because that was a part of parenting.

I was proud of him at the same time; he was doing so well using the litter tray, there had only been one terrible incident when he had done his business in Jonathan’s slipper. Jonathan acted as if someone had committed murder — they were Italian leather slippers, apparently — and Claire had to pacify him for ages. When we were alone, I explained to George that Jonathan had always been a bit hot-headed and his bark was worse than his bite — excuse the dog reference, which was another thing I had to teach George all about. Although he still couldn’t go out, I needed to prepare him for when he did. We spent our evenings before bedtime having lessons about life. I was taking my parental responsibilities very seriously. George had a lot to learn and teaching him was really taking my mind off Snowball. By the end of the day I was often so tired that, once I had settled George into bed for the night, I fell straight into a deep, dreamless sleep myself.

After me sleeping in his bed the first night, we both now slept in mine, which was a bit bigger and more comfortable for the two of us. Claire thought it was adorable and took photos to put on something called Facebook. As George nestled into me, the warmth of him was undoubtedly comforting. It reminded me of when I used to sleep next to Agnes, back in another of my nine lives. I was still unsure that Claire had been sane, getting George and thrusting me into the role of parent, but on the plus side I had no time to indulge in my heartbreak anymore.

I’d hardly been out, but I had managed to snatch some time with Tiger, who was keeping me abreast of any cat news in the neighbourhood. We were still no clearer on the cat pictures, but apparently she had seen another one on the way to the park the other day. It was getting more and more mysterious.

I missed seeing my other friends and planned on spending some time with them the following day. As Summer and Claire would be at home, I was hoping it would be OK to leave George for a little while. I also hadn’t been to Polly and Matt’s, although I had seen Polly and the kids at our house — Martha was just as obsessed with George as Summer was. Henry wasn’t as interested, so he and I watched TV together while they played, treating George like one of their cuddly toys. George loved it — he didn’t mind even being manhandled. I hadn’t seen Matt, who was busy job hunting, though I worried about him, of course. Polly seemed OK, albeit not quite her usual self, but I was trying to keep that worry on the back burner for now.

Early evening, I was in the garden. Claire had left the cat flap open for me as she was taking George into the bathroom with her while she bathed Summer. I remember when Summer first arrived, Claire had moaned to Jonathan that she didn’t have any time to herself — even going to the loo and showering had become a luxury. I had thought she was exaggerating. Well, guess what, she wasn’t — as I was quickly finding out. So I decided to make the most of this rare time alone. The cool breeze of the summer evening felt wonderfulon my fur and I enjoyed it thoroughly before reluctantly returning inside. I wanted to make sure George ate a good tea and cleaned himself before bedtime … I realised there was so much to do as I ran upstairs, just in time to hear a disturbing noise.

‘YOWL!’ I heard his little voice cry out.

‘Deorge, Deorge,’ Summer cried. I panicked and ran to the bathroom door, bashing against it until Claire finally opened it.

George was sitting on the bath mat, dripping wet, and Summer was standing up in the bath. Claire was trying not to laugh. I allowed myself to breathe again.

‘Oh, Alfie, George fell into the toilet. I didn’t realise he could jump up that high but he must have climbed up onto the loo seat while I was washing Summer and then fallen in,’ she explained.

Of course he could jump up, I thought, he was a clever kitten.

‘Right, now, Sum, I’ll get you out of the bath and then pop George in, we don’t want him smelling of toilet cleaner.’ As Claire wrapped Summer in a towel and gently bathed George, he looked far from happy. I gave him a knowing look; tonight our lesson would be about water.

By the time George had recovered and dried off, it was teatime. Jonathan had come home from work and was soon laughing at George’s antics, which was lovely to hear — he hadn’t been laughing much lately, although I hadn’t had a chance to get to the bottom of that yet. Claire told him that they had to make sure the loo lids were always down now, which was a relief; there were so many hazards to think about when you had a kitten. Anyway, Jonathan was smiling as he changed his clothes; he was going to Matt’s house for a boys’ night while Polly was coming here. Franceska was joining us too, so I was excited. Normally I would move between the two houses for boys’ night and girls’ night, but as George needed me I would be with the ladies tonight. Hopefully I’d pick up some new information about everything that was going on around here.

‘Don’t want go bed!’ Summer shouted as Jonathan tried to coax her upstairs.

‘If you come to bed now I’ll read whatever story you want, but if not then no story,’ he said. I watched her face as she weighed up the situation. Summer didn’t like to concede anything, so it was hard to tell which way it would go.

’K,’ she said in the end.‘But only if Deorge comes.’ I felt a little stab of jealousy at all the attention George was getting, but I adored him too much to really mind. I had had a lot of attention in my day after all. Perhaps it was time to step aside for the lad.

‘Magic touch,’ said Jonathan as he picked George up.‘But, Claire, couldn’t you have named the kitten something Sum could actually say,’ he said, laughing as Summer kept saying ‘Deorge’ over and over.

‘Right, George,’ I said later, when the living room was empty, with Summer asleep upstairs and Jonathan gone. ‘Are you ready to go to bed yet?’

‘No. I want to see the others.’

‘OK, you can stay up a bit later tonight, but you must tell me when you’re tired. And we need to talk about water. And the hazards of the toilet.’

‘I didn’t like it much,’ George admitted.

‘No, us cats should avoid water if we can, apart from drinking it of course.’ I went on to tell him about my past experiences. I had once nearly drowned, after all, and I didn’t want George to be in any danger. They say cats have nine lives, and I reckon I’ve used up about three or four of mine, but I didn’t want to take any more chances and I didn’t want my little boy to either.

The doorbell interrupted our discussion and I ran to the door with George on my heels. As Claire opened it, and Polly and Franceska came in, with wine and hugs, I felt happy. We followed them into the kitchen where Claire poured wine and I drank some water before settling on Franceska’s lap. Polly scooped up George and he purred as she cuddled him.

‘So, I have big news,’ Polly announced.

‘Not another baby?’ Franceska asked. I shot a worried look at Claire but she didn’t appear upset.