Alfie The Holiday Cat

Chapter Nineteen

The clean-up operation took most of the next day, because some of the party guests remained into the night, with the children practically falling asleep in their clothes, the adults enjoying far too many drinks and George and I trying to stay awake to take care of everyone. When I tried to get George to go to bed he refused until Toby did, so he was overtired — well, we were all overtired actually.

The downside to this plan was that the adults all woke up feeling a bit worse for wear, the children were tired and grumpy having not had enough sleep and the house was a total mess. This was not a situation for a cat to worry about though so instead I cleaned my paws, made sure George was thoroughly groomed and then we went to relax.

Last night, after everyone had finally gone to bed, I’d seen Gilbert and we’d enjoyed some left-overs together. Probably because of the sardines I managed to extract a promise from him that this evening, just before the sun set, he would finally let me introduce him to my families. The men were going back to London on Monday, and wouldn’t be back until the following weekend, so it was important that Gilbert met them tonight. Especially as they were all so happy at the moment. The adults had made plenty of friends and the children had made even more. In fact, the women were planning on going to lunch with Amber, Vicky and Kate this week; they all seemed to get on pretty well. There was no sign of Andrea, which was always a good thing, although George was pining for Chanel, which wasn’t.

‘Right, well I’m convinced,’ Jonathan said as the last of the mess was finally cleared away.

‘Convinced about what?’ Claire asked.

‘This place, the village, us spending our weekends, holidays, or most of them, here. I see it now,’ Jonathan replied.

‘I agree,’ Tomasz joined in. ‘I wasn’t totally sure this was a good idea at first. I mean, the cottage, and the money, and then with the restaurant problems, but the children have had such a lovely time, one we wouldn’t be able to have in London. Aleksy is doing so well with his paddleboarding.’ Tomasz looked happy again, which was so wonderful to see. ‘I want to spend as much time here as we can.’

‘I know, Tommy is miffed as it’s the first sport that Aleksy is better than him at,’ Franceska laughed. ‘And we know we have increased the value of this place already. If you think about it, the money we’re spending on it, spread over all the holidays we would take, is well worth it.’

‘More than worth it,’ Polly sighed. ‘I feel so restful here, I mean, I know we’ve been working flat out and it’s been a bit stressful at times but, on the whole, just getting up in the morning and looking out at the sea makes me feel so calm.’

‘So, we are all in love with Seabreeze Cottage?’ Matt laughed.

‘Meow,’ I said. Yes we all were.

We were sitting on the lawn on a big picnic blanket. Well, I was sitting, Jonathan was lying, Claire next to him, Matt was across from us, supervising a game of cricket with the children, although Aleksy and Tommy had been allowed to go to the beach with their new friends. Polly was leaning against an oversized cushion, and Franceska was propped up against Tomasz. George was trying to help with the cricket game but he kept getting hit with the ball which, instead of encouraging him to keep out of the way, was having the opposite effect. He seemed to think it was a game. Luckily the ball was soft. At least it wouldn’t knock him out, and it was too much to hope it would knock any sense into him regarding Chanel, of course.

Speak of the devil. The gate opened and in came Andrea, resplendent in a fitted turquoise dress with high heels, and her halo of blonde hair, carrying an angry-looking Chanel. George immediately stopped what he was doing to gape. Of course this meant he got hit again by the ball. He was a bit embarrassed that Chanel witnessed it though. He made his way to where I was lying on the rug, and we waited for Andrea and Chanel to join us.

‘Hello,’ Jonathan said, sounding friendly. Claire tried to hide a scowl.

‘Hi, I’m terribly sorry to disturb you,’ Andrea said, sounding nice, well nicer than normal anyway. The three women exchanged glances, looking as surprised as I felt.

‘That’s OK. I would say take a seat but we don’t have any,’ Matt laughed. Polly did not seem happy because the men were all looking at Andrea with something of a soppy look on their faces, a bit like the way George looked at Chanel, I thought. Oh goodness, I hoped they weren’t in love with her, they were all married after all.

‘Ha, of course. I would sit on the rug, but in this dress …’ I swear I saw Jonathan blush. I flicked my tail in annoyance. ‘Anyway, I won’t keep you, but I wanted to apologise for not being able to make your little … thingy yesterday, but I was so busy and the girls weren’t feeling great, so we didn’t think it was a good idea. However, to make it up to you I wanted to invite you all over next weekend. Saturday. I’ll make a big picnic lunch and some of my friends will join us. It’ll be lovely.’ She almost seemed as if she wanted to spend time with us. I wasn’t sure if I could believe what I was hearing. Or could I?

‘Wow, thank you, that does sound nice,’ Tomasz said. Then he looked at the picnic blanket as if he knew he might not have chosen the best words.

‘Well you know, there’s no secret that I wanted to buy your cottage, but it’s clear that you have done a wonderful job in making it your holiday home, and so it’s time for me to be neighbourly.’

‘I guess we can come, but listen, Andrea, if your girls are horrible to our children …’ Polly warned.

‘I promise they won’t be. I did explain to your very reasonable — not to mention handsome — husbands that it was a misunderstanding, my girls were feeling a bit jealous. Anyway, let’s not rake over that again.’ She smiled. No, this was not sincere. I was pretty sure of it, could feel it in the tips of my claws.

‘No, let’s not,’ Claire said between gritted teeth.

‘So you’ll all come, Saturday, about one?’ Andrea looked hopeful. I wondered if the others thought she was genuine in her desire to make amends. I was pretty sure the guys were, but the women weren’t. Or perhaps more accurately the men wanted it to be genuine.

‘Of course we will, we’ll look forward to it,’ Jonathan said. All the women grinned, broadly, but it was the kind of grin that said, ‘Oh no we won’t look forward to it at all.’

George followed them to the gate, making his cute eyes at Chanel who was determinedly ignoring him. He went right to the gate, but then, as they shut it behind them, he lay down, looking defeated.

‘Hey,’ I said, nuzzling him.

‘Why did that woman have to take her away?’ he said sadly, resting his head on his paws. ‘I could tell Chanel wanted to spend some time with me but that woman always stops her.’

‘Of course she does,’ I replied, slightly lost for words. And I gave him the same kind of grin that the ladies had given Andrea.

I found Gilbert nervously grooming himself by the back door. Everyone was in the kitchen. The children were sitting round the table, the adults scattered around performing various tasks: Claire coaxing Summer to eat vegetables, Jonathan next to Toby, Polly stirring something on the hob, Tomasz in the corner of the room reading a newspaper and Matt making hot drinks.

‘I’m not sure about this,’ Gilbert said.

‘Well I am, there’s no time like the present. Now come on, don’t be a sissy.’ It was a word I heard a lot from the kids. George had been primed and he was waiting by the opening between the kitchen and the sand room. I took a deep breath and walked through, making sure Gilbert was with me. The three of us stood in a line and I opened my lungs.

‘MEOW!’ I cried as loudly as I could. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at us.

‘Oh my, who is this?’ Franceska rushed towards us and picked Gilbert up. He looked a bit startled and squirmed in her arms, but then after a while he let her stroke his head. I was relieved. Everyone crowded round.

‘Mum, he looks like a leopard,’ Tommy said, coming over. All the children and adults made a fuss of him and he looked so surprised that I felt a bit sad that he wasn’t used to this treatment. This was how all cats should be treated.

‘So, Alfie, he’s a friend?’ Jonathan asked me. ‘Alfie does have a lot of cat friends,’ he added.

‘I always thought cats were solitary but not our Alfie, he always has someone in tow,’ Matt added.

‘Meow,’ I confirmed; yes he was my friend.

‘Do you think he belongs to one of the neighbours?’ Claire asked. ‘He hasn’t got a collar.’

‘Definitely not Andrea’s,’ Polly added.

I knew it wouldn’t be easy to explain who Gilbert was or why he was here but I also knew we had to try.

‘Meow,’ I said, and I ran to the sand room. There I ran around in circles trying to explain.

‘He lives in the sand room?’ Franceska asked. Bingo!

‘You know, I did wonder, there were cat hairs in there when we first got here,’ Claire said. ‘I felt as if it smelt a bit like a cat as well, but of course we never saw him.’ She stroked Gilbert’s neck, and he actually purred.

‘So you think he lives in the cottage?’ Matt asked.

‘Meow.’ Honestly it wasn’t easy, was it?

‘But it’s been empty for years so that would mean he was living here alone,’ Polly said.

They all started discussing Gilbert, where he may and may not have been living, and I saw him start to make his way back through to the sand room. I ran after him.

‘I knew this would happen,’ he said, sounding sad. ‘They want to know who I belong to, humans aren’t used to us just belonging to ourselves. I knew it was a mistake to come.’

‘No,’ I insisted. ‘Look, they will discuss it but at the end of the day this is your home, and they will realise that. We’ll help them realise it. Please trust me. You have been really helpful with the Liam situation and everything, trust me, they will realise you belong here and that you are Seabreeze Cottage’s very own cat,’ I begged. I wasn’t certain about much but I was about this.

After a while, I persuaded him to return.

‘Well as you said, he’s got no collar, and he hasn’t been around much, or maybe he only comes in normally when we’re all asleep,’ Jonathan started. ‘So my guess is that he’s used to being here, on his own and, look, we’re in the country, plenty of cats survive without pouched food you know.’

I jumped onto Jonathan’s lap and nuzzled him to tell him he was right.

‘I know, but I hate to think he doesn’t have a family to fuss over him,’ Claire said.

‘But, Claire, look at our Dustbin, he loves living in our yard, if we try to take him inside he really doesn’t like it,’ Franceska pointed out.

‘So it’s likely that the cat lives here?’ Claire sounded uncertain.

‘Meow, meow, meow,’ I said, which meant yes, that’s exactly where he lives.

‘But what if we take him back to London?’ Matt suggested.

‘Yowl!’ I screeched. That meant no.

‘He’s a beach and country cat, not a city cat,’ Jonathan pointed out. ‘Look, he’s not skinny, or malnourished, he looks healthy, my vote is that we get him checked out with a vet, make sure he is OK, and has all his immunisations, and then we let him live here. We’ll be here a lot between us and Shelley is going to be taking care of the place, she only lives down the road so she can look after him, but I really think it would be mean to not let him live here, especially as he seems so at home.’

‘The vet?’ Gilbert hissed. OK, I hadn’t thought of that one.

‘A necessary evil,’ I hissed back. It really was, although I felt a bit sorry for him. ‘Just think, you’ll have a quick check and then you will have the run of Seabreeze Cottage when we’re in London, and when we’re here, think of all the fun we’ll have.’

‘You make a good point, Alfie, but still the vet. Even I remember how intrusive they can be.’

But as Gilbert went back to the kitchen and let Tomasz lift him onto his lap I knew I’d won; he had fallen in love with my families, just as I knew he would. After all, who wouldn’t?

‘What is his name?’ Tomasz said, stroking him. Ah, that was something we hadn’t thought of.

‘You know, my aunt had a big ginger cat when I was little. He was called Gilbert. Let’s call him that,’ Claire said and I was stunned into silence.

‘I told you it would be alright,’ I said later when we were alone. ‘But what about the name thing?’ I was still a little shaken by that.

‘It must be one of those coincidences,’ Gilbert said. I shook my fur. It was obvious that he wasn’t the ginger Gilbert who was not only ginger but would have been incredibly old by now, but what were the odds?

‘It is still strange, as if you belong here, like the cat before you,’ I said. ‘Like Seabreeze Cottage always has to have a cat called Gilbert or something.’

We were in the backyard, looking at the moon and enjoying some peace and quiet. George had been so excited by having Gilbert officially around that he had insisted we take him to the beach before bed and George had run around enough to tire himself out. After putting him to bed, I found Gilbert, eating in the kitchen, officially this time. It made my heart swell. After dinner we went for a walk around the garden together.

‘It’s all worked out perfectly,’ I said.

‘I know and thank you. When you first moved here I thought I’d have to find a new home, and I’m so glad I didn’t, because I love Seabreeze Cottage.’

‘I know, it really does get to you, doesn’t it?’

‘It’s more than a house, Alfie, it’s special. That’s what I thought when I first came here and I still think it now!’

We were disturbed from our musings by a noise the other side of the hedge. I darted into the hedge, Gilbert on my paws. It wasn’t as easy to get through as our usual gap but we fought our way so we could see into Andrea’s garden. She was sitting on the terrace, drinking, and Liam was with her.

‘Can we get closer?’ I asked.

‘Follow me,’ Gilbert said, and moved stealthily nearer, so we could hear them.

‘I thought you’d forgotten all that stuff,’ Liam was saying. ‘I can’t do anything to the house, I’m being watched like a hawk, Andrea.’

‘Of course I haven’t. And if you want to be with me you will do as I ask.’

I had to concede she looked beautiful in the moonlight. For once, there was no sight of Chanel.

‘I love you.’ Liam looked sad. ‘But I don’t know what more I can do.’

‘Liam, I have told you the predicament I’m in. It’s getting worse. My husband, sorry, soon to be ex-husband is piling on the pressure. I need to sell this house but I can’t if I don’t have anywhere to go. Don’t you see how desperate I am?’ Her voice trembled with panic.

‘But, again, Andrea, I don’t see what I can do. There must be somewhere else?’

‘No. there isn’t. I want you to take these.’ Andrea handed something to him. Both her voice and her face hardened.

‘Matches? Why are you giving me matches? I don’t smoke.’

‘No, but the house will when you set a little fire,’ Andrea said quietly.

I felt sick as I looked at Gilbert, who looked equally horrified.

‘No, there’s no way I can do that,’ Liam said, shaking his head, which was a relief. ‘I won’t be an arsonist.’

‘Listen, on Saturday afternoon they’ll all be here, the house will be empty, so you can go in and set a fire. There won’t be too much damage as you don’t need to leave it too long. Then you can call the fire brigade, anonymously of course. And you can start the fire in the kitchen which hasn’t even been done yet.’ She paused, as if to let her words sink in. ‘But, it’ll have done enough damage to make them want to get away from here.’

‘But, Andrea, why would you burn down a house that you want to live in?’ Liam asked, quite reasonably I thought.

‘Because I’m desperate, Liam! Haven’t you heard a word I said? My husband is threatening me, my girls need a home, and minimum disruption to their lives. Having their dad move out has been hard enough on them, I won’t let them suffer any more. No one will be hurt, but they won’t want to stay here after a fire. It’s the perfect solution.’

So that was why she had invited everyone over on Saturday. Oh goodness, I was right not to trust her.

‘It’s crazy. I am not going to do that. I could go to jail.’

I saw Andrea shudder at that. ‘Liam, I’m beyond desperate, I would never ask you if I had any other options.’ Her voice sounded teary.

‘As I said, Andrea, I am not going to jail over this.’

‘You won’t, and it won’t be a bad fire. I’ll be your alibi, I promise no one will know it was you.’

‘But you said the neighbours will all be with you.’

‘And I’ll say that you were working upstairs doing something for me, I’ll think of something.’ She sounded insistent. ‘Liam, darling, don’t worry about the details, what I need you to worry about is how you can get into the house when they are all here, I’ll take care of the rest.’ She leant over and kissed him for what seemed like a very long time.

‘I don’t know, I mean I’m not happy about it. Not only is it illegal and dangerous but the families have been good to me …’

‘But I’ll be much better to you, do this for me and I will take proper care of you.’ When Andrea smiled at him, I felt my fur stand on end. ‘We will be together, officially, I promise, you just have to do this one small thing.’

I wasn’t sure but it did seem as if Andrea could be persuasive, and she also had Liam twisted round her little finger. He was clearly besotted; though it was dark I could see it in his eyes and in the way he was sitting, and for the first time I felt sorry for him. She was a powerful woman and he didn’t stand a chance. But then again, I was a powerful cat and therefore they didn’t stand a chance. Well I hoped they didn’t. If Liam agreed to what Andrea asked, then our holiday home, and Gilbert’s home, was in jeopardy.

‘I will not allow them to set fire to Seabreeze Cottage,’ I said angrily when Gilbert and I were back home, my legs shaking with anger.

‘Me either, it is my home, Alfie, not my holiday home but my home.’ Gilbert looked as furious as I felt.

‘I know. But how are we going to stop all this?’

I had no clear idea, I couldn’t stop the families from going to Andrea’s, that wouldn’t work, so we would have to come up with another way. I was thinking through my past plans, but I couldn’t get hurt like I did once, or stuck up a tree, or lose George again, like the last plan I had hatched. No, whatever we did, I was not putting George at risk again.

‘Look, we know when they are planning on doing it — although I still don’t know if Liam will go through with it — but on Saturday, when the humans are all next door, we will somehow have to stop Liam from setting fire to the house.’ Gilbert sounded so confident that I began to feel better.

‘That’s true, he’s quite incompetent so he might not even be able to burn the house down!’ I liked to look on the bright side.

‘But whatever, I will guard the house, you will switch between the party and here, because George will clearly want to be near Chanel, and we will sort it. If I have to scratch, or hurt Liam, I will, Alfie, don’t worry, we won’t let this happen.’

‘So we have a plan?’ It wasn’t a very solid one but it was something. And Gilbert did have sharp claws, and he was used to living on his wits, which meant he was a much tougher cat than I was. I could see that as a team maybe, just maybe, we could do it.

‘We do.’ And it was a very simple plan, which, given those I’d had to carry out in my past, was a huge relief. I mean, two cats, one man and a potential fire.

What could go wrong?