Alice in Zombieland

5 The Deadly Rabbit Returns

The next morning, my eyes burned with fatigue as I wandered the halls of Asher High. (Go Tigers.) There were more posters on the walls, and they were now joined by streamers. I’d spent the entire night propped up by the window, desperate for another glimpse of Emma, frightened by the thought of those imaginary monsters.

Seriously, how pathetic was I?

I couldn’t function without sleep much longer, and I knew it. My mind had turned to mush—obviously—and my body felt heavy, weighted down, my steps dragging. The latter was proved when I stumbled into someone. A girl I didn’t recognize. I muttered an apology, and she scurried off without comment.

Think about Em, the freaks and your idiocy later. Just get through the day. Good advice. Fingers crossed, I would listen and obey. Actually, there was a way to guarantee my obedience. Kat. She was the perfect distraction. Except, as I lugged through the crowd, I found myself searching for Cole Holland instead.

My palms sweated as I neared the hallway where I’d seen him yesterday. Distantly I heard the opening and closing of lockers, chatter and laughter, the pound and click of shoes. Closer…was he there again today? I squared my shoulders as I rounded the corner, trying to prepare myself for impact, just in case.

Good thing. He was there.

Play it cool, Bell. He leaned against a locker, his hands stuffed into his jean pockets. He wore another hat, this one blue. Shadows cascaded over his face, hiding those magnificent violet eyes, but I could see a fresh bruise on his chin and a lesion on his lower lip.

He’d gotten into a fight.

He wore a black T-shirt that stretched indecently over hard-won muscle. A chain wrapped around his waist, and I would have sworn there were flecks of dried blood on the end. His boots were freshly polished yet severely scuffed.

His friends surrounded him, though there weren’t as many this time. Every single one of them sported a bruise somewhere—face, neck, arms, knuckles—some worse than others. Both of Frosty’s wrists were bandaged, hiding his tattoos.

Okay, seriously. They had to be part of some kind of fight club.

“Hey, Ali.” Oops. Frosty had caught me staring at him. Rather than chastising me, he gave me a sunshine-happy grin. “Lookin’ good today.”

“Thanks,” I replied, trying not to shift nervously. Okay, so I’d dug out my best jeans and a flowing gray-and-white lace top that made me look chestier than I actually was. So what. It didn’t mean anything.

“Why don’t you make our dreams come true and come talk to us?” he added, all smooth charm and cotton candy sweetness.

I returned my attention to Cole, wondering if he would encourage me to come closer, too. He was now peering at me as well, but he wasn’t grinning. He was scowling.

The moment our gazes met, the rest of the world washed away—

—we were in the middle of the now-empty hallway. His strong arms banded around me, dragging me closer to his body. Heat enveloped me, followed by the scent of sun-dried laundry and sandalwood. No strawberry lollipop this time, but that hardly mattered. He still made my mouth water.

Violet eyes drank me in, as if I were the most beautiful thing in the entire world. “Hold on to me.”

Immediately I complied, tracing my fingers up his chest, around his neck and into his hair. No hat. No injuries. “Like this?”

“Yeah, that’s the way.” And then he pressed our lips together, his tongue sweeping inside my mouth and taking control.

Our heads tilted to opposite sides, allowing deeper contact. A shadow of stubble on his jaw scratched at my skin, but even that was exciting and wonderful and utterly tantalizing.

My second kiss, I thought dazedly, and it was even better than the first. He tasted like mint and cinnamon, and I decided the combination was my new favorite flavor. A necessary start to each and every day. And his hands…oh, the things he did with his hands.

He knew exactly what he was doing. Obviously he had experience, a lot of experience, playing a girl like a piano.

Playing…the word reverberated through my mind. Was this a game to him? Or something more? Like a relationship? Would he talk to me when the kiss ended? Or would he want nothing to do with me? Would his friends think I was easy? Look how quickly I’d fallen into his arms. Would I be known as the Asher Slut, giving tongue to whoever wanted it?

Great. Just my luck. My thoughts could now intrude on my whacked-out hallucinations and I—

“Yo, Ali!”

—I blinked, the dream-kiss vanishing and the rest of the world swooping back into focus. I saw a thinning crowd, heard the slamming of lockers mixed with the pounding of footsteps. Smelled a collage of different perfumes, some sugary, some spicy.

A frowning Kat stood in front of me. “There you are,” she said. “Back from your mental vacation. Do you know you’re, like, hovering in the middle of what I’ve deemed social Siberia, blocking traffic?”

“Sorry,” I replied.

A sigh left her. “I know people say apologizing is a sign of weakness, but I think it’s a sign of strength—when people do it to me. Just do me a favor and capture my next words like the beautiful butterflies they are and never let them go. If you don’t wipe Cole Holland from your mind, you’ll end up on the SS Miserable with me.”

I couldn’t help myself. I glanced over her shoulder. Cole was—

Striding toward me, determination in his every step. A fierce scowl marred his features. His hands were fisted, and I could see the scabs on his knuckles. He must have done a lot of punching last night. I felt sorry for whomever he’d fought.

You’re just standing here! Do you want him to reach you? He would demand to know why I kept eye-stalking him.

I thought I’d put on my big-girl panties today, but no. Like a coward, I threw out, “Thanks for the advice. It’s great, and I’ll be sure to run with it.” Literally. “I’ll see you at lunch, okay?” Before Kat could rapid-fire questions at me, I spun and headed in the opposite direction, taking the looong way to the ladies’ room in front of my first class. Thankfully, Cole never caught up with me. Or maybe he hadn’t even tried, which was more likely. With muscles like his, I bet he could outrun a cheetah.

At the sink, I splashed cold water on my face, dried myself with a paper towel before a single droplet could wet my shirt and studied my reflection. My cheeks were rosy, my bottom lip red and swollen. I must have chewed it during the vision thing.

Better than Cole chewing it, right?

No time to work up a believable answer. Mackenzie Love sailed into the bathroom, clearly on a mission. Today her dark curls were twisted on top of her head, several tendrils falling around her face. Her makeup was perfect, except for a blue-and-yellow smudge on her left cheek. A smudge that looked suspiciously like a bruise. She wore a long-sleeved button-up top and soft, flowing pants. Stylish, comfortable, yet completely inappropriate for the heat outside.

Every inch a predator, she narrowed her eyes and closed the distance between us. This must be the “corner and threaten” routine Kat had warned me about.

“I don’t know who you think you are or what you think you’re doing,” she snapped, “but I will bury you if you hurt one of my friends.”

Yep. It was. “I think my name is Ali Bell, and I think I’m standing here, minding my own business. You should try it.” Because Mackenzie was a few inches shorter than me, she had to look up to meet my gaze. For once, my height made me deliriously happy.

She scowled and flashed perfectly straight white teeth. “You better watch yourself. You do not want to see me angry.”

“Or, what? You’ll grow a few inches, develop muscles and turn green?” Sorry, but I wasn’t someone who was easily intimidated. Except by someone with black hair and violet eyes, of course.

Mackenzie sputtered as she tried to think up a reply. I was willing to bet I was the first person to ever stand up to her. Although, I couldn’t imagine Kat cowering or backing down no matter who her opponent was.

“I don’t want to be late to class,” I said, deciding to end things here and now, “so maybe find me later and tell me whatever insult you think up.”

I breezed past her—she was still sputtering—and saw Cole at the end of the hall. Wonder of wonders, he had followed me.

He spotted me and bounded into motion. I just couldn’t catch a break, could I? The bell rang as I hurried toward him. Yes, toward him. Good news was, I wouldn’t have to deal with him. Before he could catch me, I reached my class and soared inside, shutting the door behind me.

Of course, I was late again. Mr. Butthole made me stand in front of the class and apologize. That wouldn’t have been so bad, but through the window in the center of the door, I could see Cole glaring at me. Either glaring was his expression du jour or I was in big trouble.

Only when I slid into my seat did I lose sight of him. What a relief! I’d successfully avoided two confrontations with him. Now to avoid him for the rest of my life. No way could I ever explain what had twice happened in that hallway. Not without bursting into actual flames of embarrassment. No way I could explain why it had happened, or even how.

I didn’t see him on my way to second or third block, and somehow, someway, I managed to keep my vow to Ms. Meyers. Score! When the bell rang to signal it was time for lunch, I kind of expected Frosty and Bronx to be waiting for me. They weren’t. Double score! I kind of expected Cole to fly out of nowhere and try to flag me down, yet he didn’t. Win! I’d already been forgotten, I guess.

After stuffing my book and notes into my locker, I trudged to the cafeteria. Kat would demand an explanation for my behavior this morning, and leading with I was imagining getting freaky with your ex’s friend wasn’t going to fly. She’d ask more questions, and I still had no answers. Well, other than I am seriously screwed up.

Just before I reached the open double doors, Mackenzie stepped into my path. I barely stopped myself from slamming into her.

“You’re not going anywhere,” she said. “Not this time.”

“Do we really need to have another discussion?” I asked on a sigh. I’d only been smart-alecking—yeah, I’d just turned that word into a verb—when I’d told her to find me later.

“Yes. We need to ‘have another discussion,’” she mimicked in a shrill voice. “I saw Cole chasing you outside the bathroom. You ran from him. Why?” She didn’t even try to hide her fury. “Are you playing hard to get? Because it’s a little late for that. The way I hear it, you can’t keep your eyes off him.”

Heat burned up my throat and scalded my cheeks. Cole had said something to his friends or they had said something on their own. Either way, people had noticed. “Why do you care?” I snapped, going for bravado. “The way I hear it, you’re not dating him anymore.”

A bomb detonated in her eyes, flames crackling. “You have no idea what’s going on between me and Cole.”

“You’re right. And it doesn’t concern me,” I said, no matter that a little part of me might want to know the truth.

Dark lashes fused, hiding those fiery jade-green irises. “Earlier I told you I’d hurt you if you hurt him. That’s still true. But now I’m telling you to stay away from him or I’ll wipe the floor with your face before I do the hurting.”

Okay, that did it. She’d pushed me right over the edge of my patience. “If you want me to cry and promise to do whatever you want, try a more original threat.” A saner, more rational person would have mentioned the fact that Cole and I had never actually spoken a word to each other—and clearly had no plans to do so.

But I wasn’t exactly sane or rational lately.

All about the intimidation, she rose to her tiptoes, putting us nose-to-nose. “I am capable of things you can’t even imagine.”

“Right back at you.”

“That’s brave talk. Let’s see you back it up.”

“Let’s see you back off, Love Button, before you burst a vessel,” a familiar voice said from behind her.

I caught the hint of a scowl before Mackenzie twisted. “Alley Kat. Racing to the rescue of another stray?”

Grinning, Kat strolled to my side. “Yes I am. To your rescue, just so we’re clear. My Ali has skills. The first time I met her, there were people all around her moaning and groaning in pain. True story. Also, I don’t want her suspended after only two days just because she did the entire school a favor and fed you your own teeth. Besides, Cole’s the one you should be chatting with. He practically ate her up with his eyes. In fact, I’m surprised Ali doesn’t have bite marks.”

Mackenzie balled her hands into fists. I stepped in front of Kat, just in case. No one hit my friend and lived to tell the tale. That was my new motto, and one I would forever embrace.

“You’re in trouble now,” Kat sang.

Slowly Mackenzie unfurled her fingers. “You’re not worth it,” she snapped at the brunette.

“Is that so? Well, go ahead, ask Frosty,” I said. “She’s worth anything.”

Laughing, Kat pinky waved at Mackenzie, hooked her arm through mine and spun us both around, and together we sailed to an empty table in back. Even better, Mackenzie was once again left sputtering.

“As you’ve probably figured out, there are only two people in this place who have the lady balls to stand up to her—and I’m one of them, but I had no idea you’d be the other,” Kat said, voice dripping with glee. “I am so glad we met at an undisclosed location over the summer.”

“Me, too.” I noticed all of the cafeteria’s occupants were watching us, silent, even gaping. I rubbed my palms on my thighs, the friction keeping me grounded. Had they overheard our conversation with Mackenzie?

My movements quickened when I spotted Cole. He occupied the same table as yesterday, surrounded by the same friends. We locked gazes for several seconds. I held my breath, expecting a vision. But…one never came.

I don’t know what he had expected—or if he’d expected anything at all; his expression stayed bland, until Mackenzie reached his table and shimmied in next to him. She cupped his jaw, her fingers caressing his cheeks. Frowning, he tugged out of her hold, and the two engaged in a low, angry conversation. At least, I think it was angry. He’d exchanged his frown for a menacing glower. He was massaging the back of his neck, as though to stop himself from strangling the girl.

“And she’s off for another mental vacation,” Kat muttered.

Pull yourself together, Bell. “Sorry,” I replied.

From across the table, Wren said, “After that, you can’t deny you’re interested in Cole.”

Well, great. I’d been so distracted, I’d missed her appearance. The sharpness had left her, at least; today’s expression soft and happy. But…was that a fringed shirt she was wearing?

Reeve and Poppy were beside her, the entire group now surrounding me. They, too, looked to be wearing fringe. Had I somehow started a (horrible) trend?

“No,” I said. “I’m not interested in him.” I was quickly becoming obsessed with him.

“Oh.” Wren’s shoulders drooped as if she were a flower that had been left in a vase without water.

“I thought you said I needed to stay away from him.”

“I changed my mind,” she said brightly, toying with several locks of her hair. “You guys would make an awesome couple. Just awesome.” Now she sounded too bright.

I wasn’t sure how to take that when I knew she considered him the worst kind of trouble.

“Ali, Ali, Ali,” Kat said and tsked under her tongue. “Don’t look so forlorn. You’re making the right decision. Cole once ate a pound of rusty nails and claimed it tasted like unicorn tears mixed with fairy dust. True story. I was there.”

Reeve nodded encouragingly. “I wasn’t there, but I can believe it. I once saw him body slam a teacher for daring to ask him the meaning of X minus Y.”

“He put the guy in the hospital for three months,” Poppy said, tapping a fingernail against her chin. “Or was that a student he body slammed for daring to give an answer different than his?”

“Probably both. He’s body slammed enough people to start a new country. And there could be a neighboring city for the people he’s punched in the throat.” Reeve’s delicate fingers fluttered up to her own throat, as if she were experiencing sympathy pains. Then she added, “The last time he did that was the most awesome thing I’ve ever seen,” and grinned. “Oh, oh.” Clap, clap. “It’s still on YouTube, I think. Give me your number and I’ll text you a link.”

“Maybe Ali will luck out and Cole won’t actually body slam her,” Wren said.

All the other girls burst out laughing, causing Wren’s cheeks to redden.

“She’s the first person he’ll body slam,” Kat said with a snicker. “He’s probably imagined it a thousand times already.”

My own cheeks heating to a lovely shade of red, I made a mental note: Do a search on Cole Holland the moment you get home. Not that I believed even half the things these girls had told me. Still, my curiosity was piqued.

Even though I wasn’t sure how much longer I’d have my phone, I hit the girls with my digits and took theirs. Thing was, my grandparents probably wouldn’t continue to pay the bill. They were very fond of saying: Why do you need a cell phone when we have a perfectly decent landline at home? I knew they’d forked over the money during the summer months because my cell had been the last thing my parents had given me, and I would have freaked out without it.

I had pictures of Emma stored in it, as well as her text messages. Even as young as she’d been, she’d had her own cell, too, because Dad had wanted us connected at all times, just in case. And no, I hadn’t looked at a single photo or read a single text; I just didn’t have the heart. Not yet. One day, though, I would. I hoped.

“Here. Eat this.” Kat handed me half of her PB&J. “If I know my Ali, and I’m pretty sure that I do, you’re going to ignore my excellent advice and make a play for Cole. And if you’re going after someone like him, you need to keep your strength up.”

“I’m not going after him.” I wasn’t that crazy, was I? “But thank you for the sandwich.” I’d forgotten my lunch and scarfed down the sandwich as if it were manna from heaven. “So…are you guys dating anyone?”

“I am,” Wren replied. She sipped her bottled water. “He graduated from here last year, and now goes to UA. I usually see him on weekends. He’s premed, you know, and I plan to be a nurse. Once he graduates, we’ll get married and our lives will be perfect.”

Poppy shrugged. “I keep my options open the first month of school, looking around, shopping really, until I find someone I want. Sadly, there are no leading contenders this year.”

Reeve tossed her side-ponytail over her shoulder. “No one for me.”

“Don’t lie to Ali.” Kat wagged a finger at her. “When she and Cole get married in a beautiful prison ceremony, because we all know that’s where Cole will be, she’ll be able to help your cause.” Bright hazels swung to me, pinning me in place. “She’s been crushing on Bronx for two years.”

Her announcement hit me with the force of, say, a baseball bat. I never would have guessed that one. “But he’s so…”

“Serial killer-esque?” Kat asked with an arched brow.

Well, yeah. But like I really had room to judge. Bronx might give off a serial killer vibe, but I was obsessed with the guy he considered his leader.

“I’ve tried to warn her,” Wren said.

“Many times,” Poppy added with a nod.

Reeve was the third girl to blush. She lifted her chin and said, “Bronx has made it more than clear that he’s not interested in me, so what I feel doesn’t matter.”

As Wren capped her water bottle, she said, “And how many times have I told you that you’re better off?”

“You really are,” Poppy reiterated.

“Besides,” Reeve continued, “I’ve decided to say yes to John Clary and go on a date.”

“John Clary!” Kat, Poppy and Wren said in unison.

Then:

“He’s so perfect for you!”

“Such a doll!”

“He can tutor you in math, help you get a good grade!”

I had nothing to offer. I had no idea who John Clary was.

As each of the girls launched a million questions at her, the bell rang to signal it was time to head to class. Poor Reeve. She looked as comfortable as if she were standing naked in front of her history class, giving a report on the Salem witch trials and using her own body as a visual aid for the torture.

I said my goodbyes and stood. When I turned, I bumped into someone. I muttered an apology, my hands flattening on a hard chest as I sought to regain my balance.

Whatever I’d meant to say next died a quick death the moment I realized my hands were on Cole Holland.

My hands were actually on Cole Holland.

I looked up…up…up…and there he was. I inhaled sharply, caught the scent of sandalwood and almost moaned. He smelled just like he had during the… Oh, sweat heaven. Was this a hallucination, too? Here, now? I dug my fingers into his chest. He was solid, warm. Which meant…this was real. This was happening.

A gasp left me, and I tried to jump backward only to bang into the table bench. I couldn’t dart forward. He was too big, caging me.

My stomach started performing stupid backflips, decided that wasn’t enough, and next gave a full-on circus trapeze act.

“Well, well,” Kat said with a little too much glee. The other girls frowned at Cole before scurrying off. “You here to walk Ali and me to class or what, big boy?”

A muscle ticked in Cole’s jaw, a sure sign of sizzling anger, blatant aggression, and—I could have been imagining here—that he hoped to one day be the heavyweight boxing champion of the world.

“Well?” Kat prompted.

“Ali.” His gaze never veered from my face.

One word, and yet his voice…thrilled me. Deep and rich and ragged, as if my name had been pushed through a meat grinder. Why was that so smexy? And how was the voice I heard now the same one I’d heard in my visions?

“Me?” I managed to squeak out. “Why?”

Stupid question. I knew why.

He ignored me, thank God, saying to Kat, “Let go of Frosty’s leash. You’re choking the life out of him.”

Her eyes narrowed to tiny slits, a sure sign of her aggression. “He deserves to choke. He didn’t keep Little Frost in his pants this summer.” The words snapped like a whip.

“He did,” Cole snapped back with unwavering confidence.

“Not.”

“Did.”

“Not!”

“Did,” he said, calm now despite her growing fervor.

My head would have zinged back and forth as if I were watching a tennis match, but Cole hadn’t taken his eyes off me and I didn’t have the strength to pull away.

“Not, not, not!” she shouted with a stomp of her foot.

Finally he looked at her, releasing me from the force field of that otherworldly gaze. “What are we, five?”

“Six.” Kat anchored her hands on her hips. “So tell me this. Do you know Frosty remained faithful to me because you were with him every minute of every day?”

Silence.

“I didn’t think so. Ali?” she said, and I knew what she was asking. Did I want her to stay with me?

“I’m fine,” I said, still squeaking. Come on and grow that pair of lady balls Kat thinks you already have. There’s still time to bring home the victory on this one. I’d lived through hell on earth. This should be nothing.

Cole returned his attention to me, expectant.

“I’m fine,” I repeated, for my benefit rather than Kat’s. At least I’d sounded halfway normal. I would get this meeting over with, get my questions answered, and boom, everything would go back to normal.

“Just remember what I told you.” Off she skipped, leaving me alone with Cole.

What had she told me? That he was dangerous—check. That he still hung out with his ex—check. That he liked to body slam and throat smash—double check.

“You have Mrs. Heldermon next,” he said, a statement not a question.

“Yes.” Surprise filled me, and not just because he hadn’t cussed, as I’d previously imagined. “How did you know?”

He massaged the back of his neck, just like he’d done when he’d talked with Mackenzie. Please tell me that wasn’t a sign of irritation. “My class is in the same building. Yesterday I saw you go into the room.”

And yet, I’d never seen him—and I’d looked. Oh, how I’d looked. Either my powers of observation were lacking, or his ability to camouflage himself was incredible.

“Come on,” he said.

We kicked into motion. Everyone who spotted us did a double take. Friends were nudged and heads were quickly turned in our direction. It was like we were on a screen playing the newest reality show—Survivor: Asher High—and they were our trusted viewers.

When we were out of eavesdropping range, Cole said, “Whatever you’re doing to me each morning—” a hint of anger bloomed in his tone “—you need to stop.”

My gaze whisked up to his face so fast I almost gave myself whiplash. “Whatever I’m doing to you? How about what you’re doing to me?”

“What am I doing to you?”

Like I was really going to mention my craziness without confirmation of his. “You tell me.” Because really, he could be talking about something totally different. Maybe he wanted me to stop eye-stalking him, as I’d first assumed. Maybe he wanted me to stop conversing with his friends, even when they cornered me like a rabid animal.

We kept walking, neither of us saying anything else. I wanted to wait him out, but I lacked the willpower and ultimately cracked. “So…who did you fight?”

There was only a beat of hesitation before he responded, “No one you’d know.”

Annnd more silence.

O-kay. He’d arranged this little meeting, had asked me two questions and now had nothing to say to me. That was a…relief. Yes, a relief and not a huge disappointment.

All too soon—uh, I mean, a torturous eternity later—we reached my classroom and stopped. “Thanks for the escort, but let’s not do this again sometime,” I muttered. Forget answers. I could live without them.

He stretched his arm in front of me, flattening his palm against the door frame, preventing my escape. “I’m sorry about Mackenzie,” he said, and some of his animosity had drained. “She won’t bother you again.”

Well, that was something at least. “I wasn’t worried,” I replied honestly.

His lips quirked at the corners, as if he were fighting a smile. “You should be worried. She can be a… Mean. Very mean.”

What had he stopped himself from calling her? A ~bleep~? (Kat would have been so proud. I couldn’t even cuss in my mind.) “I’m still not worried.”

His sorta smile stretched wider. “Have you ever been in a fight?” With his free hand, he pinched a lock of my hair and rubbed the strands together. “Because you look like something out of a fairy tale.”

“The wicked witch?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“Please. The princess.”

Uh, had he just given me a compliment? Couldn’t have. There’d been something sharp in his tone.

I noticed two kids standing off to the side, wanting into the classroom but not wanting to squeeze between Cole and me to get there. I wrapped my fingers around Cole’s wrist and lowered his arm. The kids bypassed us, but I didn’t return to my place. I was flush against Cole, could feel his heart pounding and couldn’t bring myself to move.

“Yes, I have been in a fight,” I said, recalling what he’d asked me. With my dad, during training.

Cole’s head tilted to the side, that violet gaze intense. “A fistfight?” he asked.

Uh-oh. I’d noticed his eyes. I was well and truly trapped now. So pretty. “Is there any other kind?”

“Many kinds. So who’d you fight?”

“No one you’d know,” I said, mimicking his answer. If I told him the truth, he’d think my dad had let me win or worse, that I was a major witch for fighting my own father. And I’d have no defense!

The quirking at the corner of his mouth started up again. I amused him, I guess, and had no idea why. Well, he confused me. Why warn me about his ex’s cruel streak? Why try to comfort me? Why do nothing else?

I studied his face, searching for answers, finding none.

“Ali?”

“Yes.” My attention lowered to his mouth. Up close like this, the split in his lower lip revealed a fresh bead of blood. I bet he could have taken my dad and still had the energy to turn the two visions I’d had into a reality.

“I asked if your last name is Bell.”

This newest topic switch threw me, but I quickly adapted without dying of embarrassment for losing myself to such silly thoughts. “Yes. Bell. Why?”

“Your dad was Phillip Bell. Your mom was Miranda Bradley.”

Was, he’d said. Not is. He knew. I swallowed my sudden urge to scream, gritting out, “You’re right, but how did you know that?” I’d never even mentioned their names to Kat.

“My dad went to school with them.”

Someone else had known them, might mourn their loss. How odd to discover that the people I’d lived with for most of my existence had had a life before me, without me. On some level, I’d realized that, of course I had, but hearing the truth was a different matter entirely. “Your dad went to school here?”

A hard nod.

I had about a thousand more questions now. Had our parents hung out together? Been friends? Enemies? Had his dad said anything about mine? How had his dad known about me—had Cole mentioned me to him? I didn’t ask a single one, though. Asking would have invited him to ask questions of his own, and I wasn’t ready to talk about what had happened over the summer.

“My dad wants to know—”

“Thanks for the heads-up about your girlfriend,” I interjected in a rush, making it clear our parents weren’t up for discussion. I wasn’t sure of my reaction, and I wasn’t going to risk it. “We should probably say goodbye now.”

A knowing pause before he gave another stiff nod. “Fine. But just so you know, Mackenzie isn’t my girlfriend.”

He didn’t say anything else, and I had no idea how to reply, so I strode into the classroom. Gold star for me—I didn’t cast a final glance over my shoulder. I think he watched me, though, because I felt two white-hot pings in my back.

I made it all the way to last block without any problems and forced myself to listen to the final lecture of the day, this one about equations and how to properly decipher them with minimal brain spasms—without allowing thoughts of Cole Holland to invade. Go me. Finally, blessedly, the bell rang—and I was quite sad to realize I wasn’t any smarter.

Kat, who’d saved me a seat and wiggled her eyebrows at me every time I’d glanced in her direction, grabbed me before I could escape and demanded to know every word that had been uttered between Cole and me.

The self-imposed CH embargo was over, I guess, and I was kinda glad. I needed advice. I relayed the conversation verbatim and her excitement drained.

“Okay, I don’t know how they judge cool versus lame at Carver Suck It Academy—oh, and did I mention that we kicked your butt last year in both football and basketball?—but here at Asher we consider that seriously lame.”

I wasn’t offended. I liked her honesty. “What should I have said?”

She batted her lashes at me and lowered her voice to a smoky rasp. “Cole, you big strong manimal. I know the boogeyman thinks you’ll jump out of his closet, but I think you’re— Hey, are you listening to our private conversation, Marcus?” she ended in a shout. “Yeah, that’s right. Run.”

I could only blink at her. Never, and I mean never, could I call Cole a manimal.

“Where was I?” Kat asked me. “Never mind. Judging by your expression, you’re not ready for flirting lessons. I’ll just stick with giving you a pick-me-up. Come on. Let’s go to Café Bella and drink so many lattes we’re peeing coffee for a week.”

Suddenly I heard angels singing. “I would seriously love that.”

She smiled. “I always have the best ideas, don’t I?”

Outside, a gray film covered the sky. Thick dark clouds looked ready to burst at any moment…except for one. It was white and fluffy, perfect in every way—and shaped like a rabbit in midhop.

Ice chips crystallized in my veins, and I skidded to a stop. The last time I’d seen a cloud like that, I’d lost everyone and everything I loved.

Logically I knew a cloud did not determine my future, or even predict it, but…

The world was suddenly spinning, spinning, round and round. Car after car zoomed beside me, the parking lot writhing and seething with blurry motions and hazy sounds. Someone honked. Someone grumbled. I couldn’t force myself to move. Could only stare in horror.

“Ali?”

Kat’s voice sounded far away, as if she stood at the end of a long, narrow tunnel. Would I cause Kat to wreck her car today? Would she die in front of me? Would I walk away without a scratch?

Finally, motion on my part. I backed away from her.

“Ali?” she said again.

I jerked my gaze in her direction. Her frown of concern nearly leveled me. “I can’t,” I said, shaking my head. “I just can’t. I’m sorry.” Fog filled my head, making me dizzy. I spun and ran, just ran, arrowing toward the building.

I heard her calling for me, knew she was chasing after me. A back door blew open and closed in the wind. I shot through on its next opening and sprinted down the hall. I didn’t see Dr. Wright but I heard her shout for me. I ignored her, too, and found a bathroom (for boys) where I shut myself inside one of the stalls. Panting, I sat on the lid of the toilet, drew my knees up to my chest and fought the sting of tears in the back of my eyes.

Minutes, maybe hours, passed but neither Kat nor Dr. Wright ever found me.

What should I do? What should I freaking do? I’d already missed my bus, and I refused to call Nana to ask her to pick me up. I just…I couldn’t get in a car today. With anyone. If someone died because of me, I would never be able to shake the guilt.

You realize you’re being irrational, right?

Yeah, I did. But did that help me? No.

My house was only a few miles away. I could walk, I decided. Yeah, that was the perfect solution. No cars would be involved, and I’d get some much-needed exercise. Finally I calmed.

The storm would break at any moment, and I’d probably be soaked to the bone by the time I got home, but everyone would be safe. That was all that mattered.