All the Way

Chapter Eight

“Have you guys done it yet?”

Miranda arched one brow and peered over her black-framed glasses in disapproval. Andy leaned against the computer desk and munched on a cannoli. Fresh cream spilled out from a perfectly formed crust, making her fingers clench around her pen. Damn, every time three o’clock hit she got the sugar craving, and she could always count on Andy to stroll past her with some kind of dessert. The awful virus had passed and given her a jump-start on her diet. Why screw it up now? Too many carbs and dessert menus had to go somewhere, and her hips were too meaty. Unfortunately, she wanted to gobble down that rich, Italian pastry more than she wanted to fit in her new size.

“Hmm, my ears must be playing tricks on me. You’d never ask such a tasteless question.”

“Nope, you heard right. You’ve been seeing him for a couple of weeks and still haven’t told me if you did it.” He broke off a piece of buttery crust and popped the wedge in his mouth. Crankiness hit her.

“Did it?” she repeated.

Andy rolled his eyes. “Come on, Miranda, don’t you remember the slang term? Did the nasty. Had sex. Got it on. Need I continue?”

“You’re warped.”

He grinned. “You did, didn’t you?”

“Why is my sex life suddenly so important to you?”

“Dear friend, you haven’t had a sex life for me to get excited about. I’m just trying to make up for lost time.”

She shook her head. “If you and Gavin are such good buddies now, why don’t you ask him?”

Andy shoved the last piece of pastry in his mouth and licked his fingers. “When a man cares about a woman, he keeps his sex life to himself. Common fact. We don’t gossip like women.”

She leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms. “You won’t ask Gavin this question because of a male code of ethics, but it’s okay to ask me?”

“Yep.”

She smiled. “Women have their own code, Andy. Maybe you’ve heard of it.”

“What?”

“We never kiss and tell.”

Andy nodded. “Yep, you guys did it.”

She threw up her hands in defeat. “I’ll never win without Elaine here. Where did you get the cannoli?”

“Gavin brought them over.”

“He was here?”

“Yeah, you had to run out for that quote from the French manager. He couldn’t wait. Something about setting up for the night crowd.”

“That’s right, he has the lounge open on Wednesdays now.”

“How’s business after you trashed the place?”

Miranda glowered at her friend. “Fine. Anyway, my review was perfectly valid.”

“Are you going to do a second review?”

She bit her lower lip. “I never do repeat visits. It’s my motto, remember?”

Andy studied her worried face. “Uh-oh. Let me try to guess this one. You don’t know whether or not to trust your feelings, do you? You’re afraid he might be using you for the review.”

The past week she spent with Gavin flashed before her. Things were changing between them. Fast. The wall carefully built around her emotions was crumbling, and she didn’t know what to do.

He had forgiven her. Somehow, someway, he allowed himself to move past her need for revenge, even though she’d also hurt his family. He never asked for the second review since the night of her illness, as if the issue was closed. How could she fight a man who forgave?

The man she rediscovered held a gentle warmth in his eyes that had never been there before. He listened with a patience and curiosity that told her he wanted to discover her inner soul. He made love to her with an intensity that not only claimed her body, but her heart and her mind. When she’d first met him, all he knew was how to take. Now, he gave himself freely, and she found herself falling in love with him all over again.

This whole episode was supposed to revolve around sex. Moving on. Letting go. Instead, she’d gotten attached all over again, and complicated things with a review and his temporary assignment that would end in a few more weeks. She swore she’d be dignified and adult when they said good-bye. Instead, bubbles of panic rose up in her throat at the thought.

“Hey, Andy!”

They both turned. Richie, one of the staff photographers, motioned toward the door. “Get in here. I need your opinion on this photo to run with your piece.”

“Hope he got something good. Last time he photographed a yoga class for me.”

“Yoga is hot, though.”

“Yeah, but Richie took shots that would’ve massacred my name. Women with their legs up in the air, folded in half with their rears exposed.” He shuddered. “I needed a male in the class to offset the feminine hormones, but there wasn’t a guy in sight. The piece ended up looking like a puzzle of female bits better off in Cosmopolitan.”

“What’s this new story?”

“Zumba.”

She laughed. “Good luck with that one, buddy.”

He left, and she spent the next minutes battling with her sugar mania. Could the staff have eaten all of them in an hour? Maybe she’d cut one in half, just for a taste. Her work phone flashed and she picked it up. “Miranda Storme.”

“Did Andy eat all the cannolis?”

His voice rumbled through the receiver and her belly dipped. “Probably. If the Lifestyle and Health department find them, I’m dead. I’m sorry I missed you before.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t stay. We’re short-staffed tonight, and I’ve put some heavy advertising into Wednesday happy hour. I want to make sure everything goes smooth.”

“I understand. How’s the crowd been?”

He paused, and her belly clenched. “Good. There’s been more action since the lounge opened.”

Miranda caught the undercurrent in his statement and knew Mia Casa took a bad hit after her column. She’d seen his full-page ads in The Foodie magazine, The Herald, and Gazette. He engaged solid marketing tools, tons of money, but an important element was missing. The endorsement of a big name in the food industry.

Instead, she’d mucked up the reputation he tried to rebuild.

Guilt ate at her. Sure, it was an honest review, and she’d followed the rules, but she didn’t want to hurt his family. What was she going to do? Break her code and write a second review? What if someone dug deeper and realized they were sleeping together? Her professional reputation may be questioned, and everything she worked so hard for.

“Are you okay? You got quiet.”

She re-focused on the conversation. “I’m fine. Gavin, do men have certain codes?”

“Yeah, one.”

“What is it?”

“No cheating at poker.”

She made a note to tell Andy he was a liar. “I thought so.”

“Oh, and never ask another man about his sex life if he has feelings for the woman.”

“Damn.”

“What’s the matter?”

She sighed. “Nothing. Just thinking about the cannolis. I know they’re all gone.”

He dropped his voice to a sexy whisper. “Open your top drawer.”

“Does this have to do with anything sexual?” she asked.

“Do it.”

She slid the drawer open. One perfect pastry sat atop a snowy white napkin. Fat chocolate chips peeked out from under fresh cream. She shook with excitement. “Oh, Gavin.”

“I’ll be waiting to be thanked properly later.”

“It’s beautiful. It’s perfect, it’s even better than Andy’s.”

He sighed. “I knew I’d never compete with an Italian pastry.”

“I’ll wait up for you tonight and show you how grateful I really—” she broke off as Andy raced through the door and stopped at her desk. Her fingers tightened around the receiver at the look of raw fear on his features. “Hold on for a second. Andy, what’s the matter?”

Andy took a ragged breath. “Elaine called. Stephen was taken to the hospital. He hit his head and he has—he has a concussion. I’ve got to get over there.”

“Do you want me to stay with Laura?”

“No, she’s at a girlfriend’s house.”

“I’ll meet you at the hospital.”

“Emergency room.”

She looked her friend in the eye. “He’s going to be okay.”

He shuddered. “Right. Meet you there.”

She closed her eyes to fight the panic and spoke into the receiver. “Andy got a call that Stephen was rushed to the hospital. He fell and has a concussion.”

“God, he’s just a little kid.”

“I know. I’m going over there now.”

Silence settled over the line. “I’ll pick you up and we’ll drive together. Stay put.”

“No. You already told me you’re short-staffed, and besides, I’m fine. I can handle the situation.”

“I know you can, Red. But I’m coming anyway.”

“No. I’ll call you from the hospital with an update. I don’t want to argue about this.”

“I agree. I’m on my way.”

The phone clicked.

…

Miranda gratefully reached for the cup of hot coffee and took a sip. Gavin settled into the seat next to her and cradled his own cup in his hands. “Any news?” he asked.

She shook her head. “Elaine said the next twenty-four hours are the most critical. The doctors have to watch him carefully. They’re in with him now but I told them we’d wait a little longer.” Miranda pushed back the loose strands of hair that escaped her topknot and rubbed her temple. “He’s so young. What will they do if he—”

“He won’t. Thoughts like that only make things worse.”

She shook herself out of her trance and raised her chin. His words cut through the haze of fear that temporarily overwhelmed her. Images of another hospital visit, alone, taunted her. “You’re right. I’m being selfish and stupid by talking like this. I’m here to help.”

His face softened. “You couldn’t be selfish or stupid if you tried, Red. We’ve been here for hours. It’s normal to get edgy.”

She placed the cup down and entwined her hands with his. The warm, muscled strength of his fingers seeped into her skin and melted some of the chill. “Who’s running the restaurant?”

“Brando and Pop. They’re fully capable.”

“You didn’t have to come. It’s not like you know Andy and Elaine that well. I could have called with updates.”

HIs eyes burned blue-gray fire. “Andy let me into his home and allowed me to babysit his son. Now his son is in danger, and if I can do anything to help, then my time here was worth it.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“And I came for you. You love him, and you’re so stubborn you’d never admit you need support.”

“I’m not stubborn.”

“You are. Business goes on every day, Miranda, but people are the most important.”

She didn’t get a chance to answer. Elaine and Andy came into the waiting area and she rose to meet them. “How is he?”

Elaine blinked away tears. “The doctors had to give him ten stitches. He’s complaining about dizziness, so they’re keeping overnight for observation.”

Miranda put her arm around Elaine. Flashes of leaving the hospital with nothing but a hole in her gut danced in her vision. This wasn’t about her. She never had to go through such a heart-wrenching experience again, and damned if she was going to start crying now. She stiffened her muscles against the assault, and the box of emotions held tight. Gavin glanced at her oddly but eased away to give her space. “He’s going to be fine.”

Elaine nodded jerkily and wiped her eyes. “Yes. Damn, I just feel so guilty. I was in the other room when I heard the crash. He’d climbed on top of the cabinet and hit the table when he fell. I should have watched him closer.”

Miranda shook her head. “No, you’re one of the best mothers I know. It was an accident, and these things happen with children. It’s not your fault.”

They stood in silence and watched Andy and Gavin from across the room. The two men seemed deep in conversation. Elaine spoke in a small voice. “When I first found out I was pregnant with Laura, I was scared out of my mind. I never intended on having a baby. I wanted to have a good time with my husband, travel, build my career.”

Miranda smiled. “I bet you changed your mind.”

“Not right away. It took me months to get adjusted to the idea of having a child, and even then I wasn’t sure if I made the right decision. When I held her in my arms and looked into her face, I knew we’d created a miracle. Imagine that, Miranda. A little person who is half you and half the man you love.”

A wave of pain burst over her and left her choked for breath. She bit her lip hard and hung on.

“With Stephen, I was able to embrace my pregnancy because I was less afraid.”

“Children will do that,” she said. “You focus so much on giving them everything you need, you forget to be afraid.”

“Except times like this. Right now, I’m more afraid than I’ve ever been in my life. Children will give you the greatest joy you can experience, but at the same time, they rip out your heart and cause you the greatest pain.”

Miranda watched Gavin give Andy a hug. “Yes, I can imagine they do.”

She muttered an excuse about needing the water fountain and moved away. God, she needed some distance. The sound and scents of the hospital opened up raw wounds not yet healed. She edged down the hall and focused on the television hung on the wall in the waiting area. Spongebob Squarepants cackled and flipped crabby patties across the screen.

Strong arms slipped around her waist and pulled her against his chest. The top of Gavin’s chin rested lightly on her head. “What are you thinking about?”

Miranda sighed and leaned more heavily into his muscled warmth. A strange emptiness filled her. “Nothing.”

“You’re lying, I can tell.”

She arched one brow. “How?”

“You can’t look me in the eye.”

“Darling, I’m not facing you at the moment. It’s physically impossible to look you in the eye.”

“See, my point exactly. What were you and Elaine talking about?”

“What were you and Andy talking about?”

He let out his breath in a soft whoosh. “Even utterly exhausted you always have to challenge me. Ok, I’ll give in first. We were talking about kids.”

She stiffened. “I see. What did you discuss?”

“The way they change a person’s life.” He paused. “Don’t you agree?”

Her chest tightened. “I guess. Want another cup of coffee?”

“No.”

“I’ll get one.”

“You put it back up again, didn’t you?”

The vise around her heart squeezed a notch. “What are you talking about?”

“The wall,” he muttered. He studied her defensive stance with hard eyes. “What are your views on children, Red?”

She lowered her voice. “Why do you suddenly want to know? Sleeping with me doesn’t give you the right to judge my choices about children. Since marriage was never an option between us, I don’t think we have anything to discuss.”

A muscle worked in his jaw. Over six feet of masculine fury towered over her. “I’ll let that remark pass since we’ve had a hell of a night.”

Her lower lip trembled. “I don’t want children.”

He jerked back as if struck. Miranda wrapped her arms around herself for warmth. A strange mixture of grief and disbelief shimmered in stormy blue depths. “Why?”

Miranda hesitated, then broke eye contact. He was getting too close, and she needed to shut down the conversation. She spoke the words carefully. “I’ve changed, Gavin. When a woman has a child, she doesn’t belong to herself anymore. For the rest of her life, she’s responsible for another human being. I don’t want that.”

He raked his fingers through his hair. “No messy emotions, huh? The same requirements you demand from your relationships now?”

Fury and regret tightened every muscle in her body, but she refused to give in. Not here. Not now. It was so much better to forget. “Leave me alone. I’ve had enough.”

She pivoted on her heel and walked out of the waiting room.