Anything but Love

TWENTY-EIGHT

Rae chose to spend the rest of the night in her suite. Shutting out the world until Luke returned to Sugar Creek seemed like a fine idea. Not that she wasn’t capable of handling things on her own—for the most part she’d been navigating life solo for a long while—but in this instance, she didn’t have to. In this instance she had a friend and partner in Luke. Somewhere along the way he’d garnered her trust, so she trusted his advice regarding her immediate crisis.

She shut off the television and monitored all calls, most of which tapered off after six, although she had jumped on the call that had come in from Luke just past five. The relief in his voice had been evident, filling Rae with instant joy. Her heart had pounded as Luke shared the results from the scan.

The cancer had not spread. His dad’s condition had not worsened. Treatment and monitoring would remain status quo.

The Monroes—including Jerome and Kaye—were flying home to Sugar Creek tomorrow.

Rocky and Jayce would be married on schedule Saturday afternoon.

Rae had been so thrilled for everyone concerned that she hadn’t taken offense when Luke had rushed her off the phone. She knew he was overwhelmed and that he was heading to dinner with his family to celebrate their good fortune. It wasn’t until after that she realized he’d sounded a little awkward when they’d said their good-byes. When he’d added they had a lot to discuss when he got back, she assumed it was the media frenzy coupled with her house-hunting mission. But maybe it was something more. Or maybe her imagination was running amok. Her emotions certainly were. She’d been on a roller coaster all day.

Desperate to strike an even keel, Rae ordered in a healthy dinner and focused on everything positive. In addition to reporting the good news on his dad, Luke had assured her that Dev was on top of the contract issue and that neither she nor the club had anything to worry about. In anticipation of moving forward with self-publishing the CL recipe book, Rae turned her energy to researching the subject. She wanted to be adequately educated when the group met on Thursday.

After that, she created a file on her computer, listing every organization that had either reached out to her or Al regarding a donation. But of course she wanted to share her good fortune with those who needed it most. How she was going to narrow that down when there were so many noble and worthy causes, she didn’t know.

Sipping water and pulling on the last of her energy, Rae looked over her notes regarding possible supplemental programs for Sugar Tots. She also jotted a list of new names for the school though nothing really appealed. Maybe Luke would have some catchy ideas. Thinking of Luke, Rae Googled dyslexia, reacquainting herself with techniques that would help with his visual processing.

She’d been yawning incessantly for the past hour. She finally shut down her computer around nine thirty, grabbed her Kindle Fire and, lying back in bed, opened the last digital book she’d purchased—What to Expect When You’re Expecting.

She didn’t remember falling asleep. Barely registered a knock on her door then the sound of Luke’s voice. Although that couldn’t be right. Luke was in Florida. She must be dreaming.

“Rae. Sweetheart.”

He sounded so real, so close.

Rae forced her eyes open and blinked into her dimly lit room, gasping when she saw a figure hovering near her bed.

“Shh. It’s okay. It’s me.”

“Luke? What are you doing here? What time is it?”

“A little after four.”

“In the morning?” Her vision and thoughts had yet to clear. Foggy, she pushed to her elbows, noting her laptop on the bed. Her Kindle was still in her hand. The only light in the room came from a muted bedside lamp. “I must’ve fallen asleep while reading,” she croaked.

“I can see that,” Luke said while peeling off his outer wear. “I called you around ten to let you know I was catching a red-eye. When I didn’t get you, I figured you’d switched off your phone. I knocked, but you didn’t answer, so I used the key you gave me.”

“That’s fine.” She set her Kindle on the nightstand and reached for her laptop.

“I got it,” Luke said. “You crawl under the covers.”

At least she’d changed into pajamas before crashing.

Luke moved her laptop to the desk then started shedding clothes. “I’m wiped.”

“I can imagine. I thought you were flying in tomorrow. Did your entire family take the red eye?”

“Nope. Just me. Wanted to get back to you.”

Even though she was groggy, her heart pounded at the sentiment. “That was sweet.” Her dopey smile widened when he switched off the lamp, crawled under the covers, and pulled her into a spooning position.

“I’d take advantage of your sleepy state,” he said, “if I weren’t so tired myself.”

“Rain check,” Rae said, snuggling into his embrace.

“Mmm. Rae?”

“Hmm?”

“I didn’t spot any paparazzi lurking outside or in the lobby, but I could be mistaken. Someone might’ve seen me let myself into your room. It could end up on fricking TMZ. Bartender serves up a midnight special for heiress philanthropist.”

Eyes closed, she smiled into the dark, comforted by Luke’s presence. “I don’t care.”

He kissed the back of her head, draped one of his legs over hers, and palmed her tummy. “I’m glad.”

Luke woke to the feel of Rae trailing kisses over his shoulders, his collarbone, his chest. His lips curled in a lazy smile. “Good morning to me.”

She grinned up at him and Luke’s heart jerked. He’d always wanted a woman to smile at him like that. The way Chloe smiled at Dev and Rocky smiled at Jayce. Hell, even his grandma had a secret smile for Vince. Like he was the center of her universe. Adoration mixed with admiration. Not superficial, fleeting love, but good and true love. Luke never thought he’d see the day. But there it was. That secret smile.

For him.

Was it possible? Did Rae love him? Good and true?

“Weren’t you wearing pajamas when we fell asleep?” he teased.

“I’m feeling frisky,” she said with a waggle of her brows.

“Yeah?” He smoothed her longish bangs out of her beautiful face. How had he ever thought her mousy? “How about we move this show to the shower. Long day yesterday. Should have rinsed off last night but all I wanted to do was climb into bed with you.”

She rolled onto him and surprised him with a full body hug. “I’m glad you’re here, Luke.”

“In your bed?”

“In my life.”

Another heart jerk.

Clingy women usually scared him off, but Rae wasn’t being clingy as much as affectionate and emotionally forthright. She was usually more guarded and he wondered what had shifted between them and when. Luke hugged her back, wondering about the tender feelings stirring inside him. He was certain he’d never felt this way before. And he was pretty sure this particular rush wasn’t connected to the baby.

He flashed back on a discussion they’d had the other night. “Maybe the person you’re attracted to is a reflection of where you are in your own life,” he said mid-thought.

She pushed up a little and looked down at him with a scrunched brow. “Are you still wondering why I’m attracted to you? Or the other way around?”

“I’m wondering why our relationship is escalating so fast.”

“Is it?”

He arched a brow. “You don’t feel it?”

“I feel it.”

“Something you want to tell me?”

Her cheeks flushed. “Not at the moment.”

Yet her heart shone in her eyes. Luke tempered his pulse. Rae loved him. Good and true. He’d bet the Shack on it. He wasn’t sure what to do with the knowledge. He wasn’t sure how he felt beyond freaking good.

“So where are you?” she asked. “In your life that is.”

“At a turning point.”

“Obviously.”

Luke skimmed his hands over her bare back, loving the feel of her skin and the way her body molded so perfectly to his. “I was on unsteady ground even before I knew about the baby. I first felt the shift when you started working for me last fall. Something about your quiet confidence, your intelligence and kindness. I started lusting after you even when you were sporting that mousy look and those shapeless clothes. Then that kiss, that first kiss. Jesus. I sensed something special, something just beyond my reach.” He smoothed his knuckles over her cheek. “Only you’re not. You’re here. In my arms. In my life.”

She burst into tears.

What the … Luke rolled her onto her back, smoothed tears from her cheeks. “Did I say something wrong?”

“You said everything right.”

“Then why are you crying?”

“I don’t know. I mean I’m incredibly touched by what you … you said. But this is crazy. The last few days, I can’t seem to control my … my emotions.”

“Hormones,” Luke said. “Mood swings are natural at this stage of pregnancy. Dev said…” Damn.

She sniffed back tears, frowned. “You told Dev?”

“It’s one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. Part of the reason I flew home early. I wanted to brace you … I just, I didn’t mean to blurt it out like this.”

“But you promised—”

“I didn’t offer the information, I swear. I…” Luke dragged a hand down his face. “Could you pull on a robe or something? I can’t look at you naked without thinking dirty thoughts. Trying to focus here.”

She smiled a little and Luke took solace in knowing he might not be dead meat after all.

“Dev guessed,” he said while she pulled on her pajama top. “A logical deduction in his mind because why else would someone who played the field like me suddenly turn monogamous for a girl he barely knows? Rocky suspected for the same reason only her suspicions were tweaked even more by you.”

“Me? I didn’t say anything. I’m sure I didn’t slip—”

“And then my parents—”

“Your parents know?” She gave up on buttoning her top after buttoning it crooked twice. “How the … surely they didn’t guess.”

“No, that was definitely because of a slip. All I can say is that it happened under extraordinary circumstances. We were still in the waiting room, tense about Dad, then we saw you on the TV and, hell, I don’t remember how it happened exactly.” He blew out a breath. “I’m sorry, Rae.”

She lowered her head, took a moment, then met his gaze. “What did they say? What do they think?”

At least she was still talking to him. Luke pushed up and leaned back against the pillows. “Mostly they wanted to know I’m doing right by the baby, followed by, are they going to get to know the baby? Essentially they wanted to know my, our, plans. I said we’re feeling our way through.”

Sitting on her knees now, Rae nodded. “That’s a fair and accurate description.” She dragged her hands through her messy hair, messing it up more. “Your parents moved to Florida not long after I first moved to Sugar Creek. I know of them, but I don’t know them. And now they’re coming up for Rocky’s wedding. Should I be nervous?”

“Not at all. My folks are great. Mostly. Dad can be a pain in the ass, but he won’t be with you.” Luke tucked her hair behind her ear. “Are you mad?”

“I’m not mad.”

“Seriously?”

“You took me by surprise and I wish we could have discussed it first—the how, when, and who—but, honestly I had planned to broach the subject with you anyway. About letting people know. I’ve been feeling uncomfortable about keeping the baby a secret from the Cupcake Lovers, the people I betrayed before. I don’t want everyone always wondering what else I have up my sleeve.”

“I get that.” Luke raised a brow. “So we’re going share the news with close friends and family?”

“Just those here in Sugar Creek.”

“Not your mom?”

“Not yet. She’d taint it somehow. I’m sure of it.”

Now she sounded angry.

Luke waffled between pulling back and pushing. His curiosity got the best of him. “What is it with you two?”

Rae reached for her pajama bottoms and pulled those on, too.

Frisky mood shot, Luke thought. Got it.

“I don’t know how to explain without sounding pathetic or weak or, I don’t know, like I’m playing the poor little rich girl card.”

Luke felt her warring with her pride. He got that, too. “Just spit it out.”

She sat on the edge of the mattress, spine rigid. “Olivia never wanted me.”

She paused and caught Luke’s gaze. When he didn’t comment or judge, the floodgates opened.

“I was a mistake. I cost her her precious figure. I cost her a movie role. I cost her the unadulterated, exclusive, and obsessive attention of her husband because he, unlike her, wanted and adored me. Or so my grandma, my dad’s mom, told me before she passed away. I don’t remember my dad. I wish I did. He died when I was two.”

Luke listened as she described her life as the daughter of Olivia Deveraux. A woman who’d abandoned her daughter’s care to nannies, allowing her to concentrate on herself and husband number two. The woman who’d shipped her daughter off to school the moment she married husband number three. The woman who always chose the spotlight over school awards ceremonies or family vacations or even holidays with her only child.

Luke pulled his best poker face because he knew Rae didn’t want his sympathy, but by God she had it. Given his upbringing—his loving parents and tight-knit family—Rae’s situation was beyond his imagining. And to think he’d mixed one of his best appletinis for her selfish witch of a mother.

“No matter how many times she pushed me into the background,” Rae went on, “I held out hope that we’d bond someday. That she’d put me, our relationship, above her obsessive need to be the center of attention. All my efforts to establish a deeper relationship failed. It doesn’t help that she’s married to someone as egomaniacal as herself. It doesn’t help that she ignores his indiscretions. I thought it was a money thing. Olivia couldn’t afford the extravagant lifestyle she adores without Geoffrey’s money. Once I gained full access to my inheritance, I offered to support her in the means she was accustomed to if she left Geoffrey. I told her we could move anywhere. New York, maybe. Or London. It wasn’t the life I wanted for myself, but I saw it as her chance to break free from that bastard. I saw it as our chance to spend quality time together. To bond.”

Rae shook her head, forecasting the outcome with a bitter laugh. “She pretended she knew nothing of Geoffrey’s wandering eye. Accused me of trying to break them up because I’m jealous of what they have.” Rae snorted. “What they have is a shallow, dysfunctional relationship. I can’t support it. Can’t be around it. Them. Him. Her.” She nailed Luke with dry, bright eyes. “I didn’t run away from my problems. I walked away from a life I don’t want. Not for me. Not for my child.”

It was all Luke could do not to pull her into his arms. Yes, he wanted to comfort her, but right now, boosting her confidence seemed more important. “I don’t blame you.”

“You don’t think I’m an awful person because I want to sever ties with my own mother?”

“From what you’ve told me, Rae, Olivia doesn’t deserve the privilege of being part of your life.”

“I’m not cutting her off completely,” she said. “Not financially. I mean if she’s ever desperate. If Geoffrey ever dumps her. I couldn’t let her flounder.”

“Something tells me she’d get by. There’s always husband number five.”

Rae’s lip twitched with the semblance of a smile. “She’s always admired Elizabeth Taylor. I thought it was for the icon’s talent and beauty. But maybe it’s more about her ability to collect husbands. I think Liz had seven or eight. Olivia has a way to go.”

Feeling a break in the tension, Luke offered a gentle smile. “I know this thing with Olivia is a point of pride with you. I know you don’t like to talk about, but I’m glad you did.”

Rae swallowed then reached for Luke’s hand. “Thank you for listening and understanding. I’m glad you pushed because, now that it’s out, now that you know, maybe I can truly put Olivia behind me.”

“Unfortunately that media blitz Harper incited plays up the fact that you’re the daughter of a Hollywood celebrity,” Luke reminded her. “Olivia’s name and picture appeared in those gossip features almost as much as yours.”

“Oh, yeah.” Rae sighed. “No doubt Olivia’s basking in the attention.”

Luke raised a brow. “She was referred to as a “has-been” and there was mention of plastic surgery and botox.”

“Doesn’t matter what they’re saying as long as they’re talking about her. That’s the way Olivia looks at it.”

Luke shook his head. “God, I’m glad you’re here and not there.”

Rae swallowed. “Me, too.”

He sensed lingering anxiety, traced his memories for any holes in their discussion. “Anything else you want to tell me?”

“No.”

Brain still scrambling he flashed back on a discussion a few days prior. Something Rae had said and then tried to brush over.

“The thing about being smart and influential is that there’s always someone smarter and more influential than you. And if that person wants to derail your life, well, then you’re sort of screwed.”

Olivia didn’t strike him as smart and she probably wasn’t all that influential. No. That would be Geoffrey Stein. Of Stein & Beecham Industries.

Luke shifted closer to Rae. “Does Geoffrey know you encouraged Olivia to leave him? Is he threatening you in some way?”

She sidled to the edge of the bed, ready to flee, only Luke stayed her. She licked her lips, a nervous tell. “Geoffrey and I have been on bad terms for a couple of years now.”

“Did you catch him with another woman?”

“No.”

“Did you accuse him of having affairs? Of mistreating your mom?”

“No.”

“Was he trying to manipulate you somehow? Coerce you into allowing him to manage your inheritance?” Luke’s temper flared. Rae’s silence on the matter only made it worse. “Dammit, Rae. Is Geoffrey threatening you?”

Her face was beet red now. “It doesn’t concern you, Luke.”

“What?” The anger he’d been feeling toward Geoffrey took a sharp turn toward Rae. He struggled to keep his calm as she wiggled out of his grasp. “We’re a team now, Reagan. Every aspect of your life is of concern to me.”

“That goes both ways.”

Clueless, he spread his hands wide. “Am I stonewalling you on something?”

“Yes. Yes, you are.” She shoved off the bed and scrambled back two steps, fists at her side. “Your dyslexia.”

“I told you—”

“You told me and then you shut me down. You said you didn’t want to talk about it. That you didn’t want my help.”

“I said it would be hell on the ego and you’re changing the subject.”

“No, I’m not. We’re talking about levels of comfort. You’d rather handle your visual challenges on your own and I feel the same way about Geoffrey.”

“So there is a problem.”

“Not as long as I don’t talk about it.” With that she fled to the bathroom and closed the door.

Luke followed and knocked.

In response she turned on the shower.

It reminded him of their blowout in Bel Air. When she’d shut him out. When, in anger, he’d given up and left. Only this time he wasn’t going anywhere. He’d order up breakfast for them both and wait her out. He’d cool off and mull over the best way to handle this new kink in their relationship. He’d always considered himself an expert on women. Always knowing what to say, what to do, how to manipulate the situation. Rae stumped him at every turn.

Maybe Sam was right, Luke thought as he pulled on his sweats then nabbed the menu. Maybe there was something to be said for patience.