Armageddon Run

Chapter Four

He was bedded down for the night, camped under an overhanging rock at the base of a steep ridge. His horse was tethered nearby, munching on the grass and other edibles he’d gathered before nightfall. He deliberately maintained a low fire to minimize the risk of detection. Absently chewing on a piece of jerky, he gazed out at the twinkling stars.

Why was he doing this? he asked himself for the umpteenth time. What was he trying to prove?

The going had been easier than he’d expected. Staying on course wasn’t difficult; every Family member was taught to read the stars and navigate by the sun at an early age. Even hiding in one of the convoy trucks when they departed the Home had been simple, facilitated by the stacks and stacks of provisions affording ample hiding places. Once the column was on its way, the hard part had begun: keeping out of sight of Beta Triad and anyone else who might recognize him. Mingling with the Moles and the Cavalry had posed no problem, nor had stealing his mount to complete his journey.

So here he was, not half a day from his destination, if he read the map right.

Could he really go through with it?

Should he really go through with it?

Yes! he told himself.

He had to do it.

Even if he failed, even if they put him to death, at least he would know for certain before he died.

He had to know.

The question demanded an answer. It had been burning at his insides for weeks.

Longer.

Even since the trip to Thief River Falls.

Hickok couldn’t be right! He couldn’t be! There had to be more to life than kill or be killed!

He wearily rubbed his forehead.

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t tried to see it their way. Dear Spirit, he had even killed! Killed! Taken the lives of his spiritual brothers and sisters!

How could he have fallen so far so fast? How could he have permitted himself to be drawn down to their level? Was it a lack of faith? A lack of dedication? What?

Whatever it was, this trip was essential to his well-being. He would try it his way for a change. There was always the distinct possibility he would fail, but the prospect of defeat was secondary to knowing he had tried his best.

After all, perfection of purpose counted for something.

He closed his eyes and silently prayed. “O Divine Maker and Sustainer, please guide your servant Joshua in this enterprise. Lead me by the hand, and enable me to reveal the full glory of the knowledge of sonship with the First Source and Universe Center. We are all your children, and you have commanded us to love one another even as you love us. Help me. Father, to love others. Let my light so shine with the brilliance of your love that all others will recognize your presence in me and be led to worship your greatness. Steady me in the confrontation ahead. I pray I may be successful in my goal. I pray I may reveal your love to the Doktor.”