Attila:The Scourge of God

TWO

Flavius Placidius Valentinianus, Emperor of the West Romans — the third of his name to wear the purple — son of the Empress Mother Galla Placidia, Most Noble One, Consul, Defender of the Nicene Doctrine, et cetera, et cetera, was bored. Earlier, he’d given his tutor the slip (anything to avoid another history lesson about the Carthaginian Wars) and hidden in the palace gardens where, at the edge of the miniature lake, he’d caught six fine bullfrogs. It had been tremendous fun blowing them up with a straw until they burst. They swelled up like bladders and just before they popped, their eyes, staring into his, had blinked. That gave him a wonderful feeling of power. He looked forward to the day when he was old enough to take over ruling the empire from his mother. Then he would have power over Romans, not just frogs. He could kill anyone he wanted to, just for fun if he chose. Would his victims blink before they died? The thought gave him a delicious thrill.

He could hear in the distance, his tutor, a Greek freedman, calling him. Valentinian chuckled. The man sounded not just anxious but terrified. As well he might: if his royal charge was found to be missing, he could expect a severe whipping plus loss of manumission. The frog episode had left Valentinian feeling both excited and restless. No good looking for cats to bait; the strays that prowled the palace grounds had long since learnt to hide on sighting him. Then a delighted smile broke over the boy’s face as a faraway sound came to his ears, the clucking of chickens from the imperial hen-coop. Uncle Honorius, the late Emperor, had doted on the fowls; hand-feeding them had been his favourite occupation. Though they were now surplus to requirements, no one had found a pretext to remove them. Eyes shining with anticipation, the Emperor headed for the chicken-run.

‘I want you to take a message to Galla Placidia,’ Aetius told Titus. They were in the villa outside Ravenna that the general had commandeered for his headquarters. (Since the incident with the catafractarius, Aetius had taken Titus more and more into his confidence.) ‘Tell her my terms are these: that my Huns be paid off in gold; that I dismiss them on condition that they be ceded Pannonia; and’ — Aetius grinned wolfishly — ‘that I be made Count.’

‘You can’t mean it, sir!’ exclaimed Titus, shocked by the cool effrontery of the general’s demands. ‘We’re hardly in a position to bargain, surely? The battle with Aspar was a stalemate. And with Ioannes betrayed and executed three days before we arrived, it seems to have been, well, a bit of a futile gesture, if you ask me. Pannonia — you’re actually proposing to give it away? To use a Roman province as a bargaining chip?’

‘My dear Titus,’ sighed Aetius, in the tones of a patient school-master explaining a point to a slow-witted pupil, ‘you’re failing to grasp the bigger picture. In fact, we’re in an excellent position to put pressure on our beloved Empress. Aspar can’t wait around indefinitely; he’s needed back in the East. And with the Franks and Burgundians flexing their muscles in Gaul, Placidia daren’t withdraw troops to counter any moves I might make. Also, she’s desperate to see the last of my Huns. As to Pannonia, it’s finished anyway; devastated during the Gothic Wars and never really recovered since. If we let the Huns have it, at least it becomes a useful barrier against further German encroachment. And Ioannes? He was never destined to be more than a puppet, with me pulling the strings. With him gone, at least I can play an open game.’

‘Sir, may I ask you a question?’

‘You may, young Titus, you may.’

‘There’s something that’s been bothering me for some time, sir.’ Titus paused uncomfortably, then pressed on. ‘Why is it, sir, that you’re so against Placidia taking power in the name of her son? After all, Valentinian is the legitimate heir. To some, your stance might seem like treason.’

‘Careful, Titus,’ rapped Aetius. ‘“Treason” is a dangerous word to use around generals. I’ll let it pass, as you obviously speak from ignorance. The position is this. Placidia in full control would be a disaster for the West. She’s achieved a status vastly exceeding her actual ability, through a series of colourful adventures: prisoner of the Goths after the sack of Rome; married to Athaulf, Alaric’s brother-in-law; dragged in chains by Athaulf’s assassin; sold back to the Romans; married General Constantius, who went on to become co-emperor. . She’s vain, stubborn, stupid, and ambitious. Unfortunately, she’s also beautiful and alluring, which enables her to attract and use powerful men. As for her ensuring that Valentinian gets the proper training to fit him for the purple-’ Breaking off, Aetius smiled wryly and shook his head. ‘She’s hopelessly indulgent, gives in to his every whim and tantrum. Result: a spoilt brat eventually ruling the West. We might end up with another Nero or Commodus. That’s why, for the sake of Rome, their power must be curbed. Satisfied?’

‘Of course, sir,’ said Titus contritely. ‘I should have realized. .’

‘Yes, you should, shouldn’t you?’ replied Aetius tartly. ‘Anything else troubling you?’

‘Naturally, sir, I’m honoured you’ve asked me to approach the Empress on your behalf. But why send me? Surely a visit from yourself in person would carry much more weight.’

‘You should study the politics of animals, Titus. Ever watched how street cats behave? The lower-ranking ones approach the head tom, never the other way round. By sending you, I’m not conceding dominant status to Placidia.’ Aetius shrugged, then his face broke into a disarming grin. ‘I know — it all sounds utterly childish. Small boys scoring points. Important, though.’

They rehearsed the items Titus was to present to Placidia, then the general waved in dismissal. ‘Right, off you go. I’ll want a full report when you get back.’

Wearing the better of his two uniforms (red long-sleeved tunic, short cloak, broad military belt, and pilleus pannonicus, the round undress pillbox cap worn by soldiers of all ranks and by clerks attached to the army), Titus approached the imperial palace. The huge rectangular building with its guard-turrets and massive outer walls, each pierced by an arched gateway, was more like a fortress than a royal residence. At the west gate, he was challenged by two guards of the household troops. With their long spears, enormous round shields, and ridge helmets whose central crests had been extended into huge, flaring cockscombs, they seemed like throwbacks to the time of Horatius Cocles and his defence of the Tiber Bridge. Titus produced a scroll made out by Aetius’ secretary in the general’s name, requesting that the bearer be granted audience with the Empress.

‘You’ll need to see the Master of Petitions,’ said one of the soldiers, after scrutinizing the document. ‘Straight through the gardens, then you’ll come to a passage between the four main blocks. You want the second block on your left. Ask at the chamberlain’s office. Can’t miss it.’

But miss it Titus did. Seduced by the beauty of the gardens, with their fountains, pergolas, flower-beds, and statuary, he decided to treat himself to a brief tour of exploration before attending to his mission. Some time later, after several futile casts to find his bearings amidst a mane of hedge-lined walkways, he was about to seek out a gardener to ask directions, when there was an outburst of squawking nearby. Curious, he turned a corner — and witnessed a bizarrely repulsive sight.

In a low-walled enclosure caged off at one end, a boy of about six was engaged in plucking the feathers from a struggling chicken. Cackling in distress, terrified birds, some of them naked of plumage, rushed distractedly about the feather-strewn yard, or flapped against the walls in a vain attempt to scale them. Such was the child’s concentration that he failed to notice the stranger vaulting into the enclosure.

‘You vicious little brute!’ shouted Titus. In two long strides he reached the boy. Tearing the tortured fowl from his grip, Titus upended the infant and delivered a ringing slap to his bottom.

The boy wriggled free and whirled to face his chastiser. His face, white with astonished fury, worked silently for a few seconds. Then he screamed in outrage, ‘How-dare-you-how-dare-youhow-dare-you!’ He gulped for breath then added, ‘You’ll be sorry you did that.’ This last was uttered with such venom that, although coming from a child, it was disturbingly chilling. Then, in a swift movement, the boy reached for a whistle hung round his neck and blew a shrill blast.

After that, things happened very quickly.

Like actors responding to cues in a Terence farce, palace guards appeared from behind hedges and pavilions, and raced towards the chicken-yard.

‘Kill him! Kill him!’ shrieked the child as two of the guards leapt into the enclosure. ‘He attacked me.’

A spear whirred past Titus’ head and clanged against the cage. The near miss had a steadying effect on the young man; his mind clicked into focus and began to function fast and clearly. Unlike the frontier units or the mobile field armies, palace guards were recruited more for their fanatical loyalty than for their fighting abilities. Titus was sure that, man for man, he was more than a match for any of them.

After Titus’ riding accident, his father had purchased an exgladiator to instruct the lad in self-defence. (The closing of the gladiatorial schools a few years previously had flooded the market with slave fighters, so Gaius was able to pick from the best.) Titus proved an apt pupil; hours of daily practice with a wooden sword against a post, or fighting with staves, or using only hands and feet as weapons, had honed his skills to a level which more than compensated for his disability. ‘You’re a dead man walking,’ his instructor used to intone during these sessions, repeating a catch-phrase of his own lanista. On the day when Titus was able to catch a fly in flight, the old gladiator stopped saying it.

As the guard drew his sword and rushed forward, Titus grabbed the fallen spear with his right hand and feinted. The guard parried; flicking the spear to his left hand, Titus swept it in a scything blow across the other’s shins. The man collapsed, his shield and helmet flying. Titus reversed the spear and whacked the butt against his opponent’s skull, stunning him. Then, whirling the weapon round his head, he charged two guards closing on him and drove them back against the enclosure wall. A savage kick between the legs sent one man rolling on the ground in agony; a split second later the spear-shaft slammed into the other’s sword-arm, snapping it with a brittle crack. With a howl of pain, the guard clutched the injured limb, his weapon thudding to the ground.

Three down. Titus looked around — and knew despair. From every direction guards were racing towards him. He was indeed a dead man walking. Retrieving his first opponent’s shield, Titus backed against the cage, determined to sell his life as dearly as possible.

‘Stop!’

The command came from a tall and beautiful woman in her early thirties. Everyone froze, except for the child, who with a yell of ‘Mother!’ rushed through a gate in the wall to be scooped up by her.

‘Valentinian, tell us what this is about.’ Concern showed through the regal tones.

Valentinian? Titus went hot then cold, as the enormity of his predicament dawned on him. He had assaulted the Emperor.

‘I was convinced my last hour had come, sir,’ said Titus, when he was safely back at Aetius’ headquarters. ‘When they bound my hands I thought I was about to be marched off for summary execution. Then, when I told Galla Placidia you’d sent me, she ordered me to be released, although it was obvious she was longing to have me put to a horrible death for daring to smack her son. I was escorted down this long peristyle and through a portico to the imperial apartments, where I was given an audience in the reception chamber.’ He looked at Aetius with admiration. ‘You must have huge influence where she’s concerned, sir. When I told her your demands I could see she hated them and felt deeply humiliated, yet she agreed to everything — in writing.’ Titus handed the general a scroll. ‘I witnessed this myself. The whole thing was bizarre. There was Valentinian, all decked out in a purple robe and diadem, with me having to put your points through him to his mother. I actually had to place my finger against the little monster’s forehead — to make the procedure binding, I suppose.

‘Well, sir, I seem to have failed spectacularly as your emissary,’ Titus went on bitterly. ‘I’ve embarrassed you, and made a fool of myself. You can have my resignation now, sir, if you like.’

For a few seconds Aetius regarded him inscrutably. Then, to Titus’ astonishment, he burst out laughing. ‘My dear Titus,’ he chuckled when his mirth had subsided, ‘you’re so refreshingly unsophisticated. Far from wanting your resignation, I wouldn’t part with you for all the corn in Africa. You’ve done me the best service you could possibly imagine. Remember what I told you about animal politics? Well, by smacking the royal arse in loco meo, you’ve reinforced — in a uniquely powerful way — my dominant status in relation to Placidia and Valentinian. Unfortunately, as far as you’re concerned the Empress won’t rest until she’s evened the score.’ The general spread his hands apologetically and gave a wry smile. ‘As from today, you’re a marked man.’

In other words, a dead man walking, thought Titus grimly.