Bad Love

31

Milo spent a few seconds of silent comfort with us, then he huddled with Gillespie.

The fire went out, sending off columns of white smoke. Some time after- I still don't know how long- Robin and I were able to tour the damage, accompanied by a fireman with a flashlight who looked out for our safety but hung back, diplomatically, as we stumbled and cursed in the dark.

The garden and the rear half of the house were a total loss, the air still hot and bitter. The front rooms were sodden and putrid, ash filled, already moldering. I ran my hand along scorched furniture, fingered hot dust, looked at ruined art and decimated keepsakes, TV and stereo equipment that had blistered and burst. After a while it got too difficult. I pulled the paintings and prints that looked intact off the wall and made a neat stack. Short stack. My Bellows boxing print seemed to have come out okay, but the frame was blackened around the edges.

Robin was across the living room when I said, "I've got to get out of here."

She gave a dull nod- more of a bow. We carried the art out and took it to the truck.

Beyond the vehicles, Milo and Gillespie were still conferring and a third man had joined them- young, chubby, balding, with bristly red hair. He held a pad and his writing hand was busy.

"Drew Seaver," he said, holding out the other one. "Fire Department arson investigator. Detective Sturgis has been filling me in- sounds like you've really been through it. I'll have some questions for you, but they can wait a couple of days."

Milo told him, "I'll get you whatever you need."

"Fine," said Seaver. "What's your insurance situation, doctor?"

As if cued, Captain Gillespie said, "Better be getting back- good luck, folks."

When he was gone, Seaver repeated his insurance question.

I said, "I never really checked the details. I'm up to date on my premiums."

"Well, that's good. Those insurance guys are real sonofa's, believe me. Dot your "i' wrong and they'll find a way not to pay you. You need any help with justification, just have 'em call me."

He handed me his card. "That and a statement from Detective Sturgis should handle it."

"What needs to be handled?" said Robin. "What do we need to justify?"

Seaver picked at his chin. His lips were thick, pink, and soft looking, with a natural turndown that made him look sad.

"Arson fires tend to be self-generated, Mrs. Delaware. In lots of cases, anyway. Like I said, insurance companies'll do anything not to pay up. First thing they're going to be assuming is you're behind this."

"Then fuck 'em," said Milo. To us: "Don't sweat it, I'll handle it."

Seaver said, "Okay… well, better be looking around some more." Cracking a brief smile, he left.

Milo's hair was ragged, his eyes electric. He had on a shirt and tie, but the tie was crooked and his collar was loosened. In the darkness his acne-scarred face looked like moonscape. His hand moved over it rapidly and repeatedly- almost ticlike.

"It's okay," said Robin.

"No, no," he said. "Uh-uh, don't comfort me- you're the victims- goddamn protect and serve- some protection. I know it sounds like a crock but we are gonna get him- one fucking way or the other, he's history. We'll get free of this."

The three of us walked back to the truck. Milo's unmarked was parked behind it. None of us looked back.

The firefighters' lights were going out, one by one, as some of the trucks pulled away. Sunrise was several hours away. Without the bulbs and the flames, the night seemed hollow, just a thin membrane holding back the void.

"Wanna go back with me?" said Milo.

"No," I said. "I can handle it."

Robin stood on tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

"I found out what de Bosch's sin was," I said. I told him of Meredith Bork's experience.

"You stab me, I stab you," he said. "No fucking excuse."

"Can we be sure this wasn't the Iron Priests?"

"We can't be sure of anything," he said furiously. "But a thousand to one it's not them. No offense, but you're just not important enough to them- they want Raza blood. No, this was our bad love buddy- remember Bancroft's comment about firesetters at the school?"

"You told me there was no record of any fires there."

"Yeah… the kids behaved themselves there. It's when they graduated that the problems started."

• • •

I drove, but I felt as if I was being towed. Each segment of white line diminished me. Across the cab of the truck, Robin wept, unable to stop, finally surrendering to deep, wracking sobs.

I was beyond tears.

Just as I crossed into Beverly Hills, she took a sucking breath and pressed fisted hands together.

"Oh, well," she said, "I always wanted to redecorate."

I must have laughed, because my throat hurt and I heard two voices chuckling hysterically.

"What style should we choose?" I said. "Phoenix Rococo?"

Benedict Canyon appeared. Red light. I stopped. My eyes felt acid washed.

"It was a crummy little place anyway," she said. "No, it wasn't, it was a beautiful little place- oh, Alex!"

I pulled her to me. Her body felt heavy but boneless.

Green light. My brain said go, but my foot was slow to follow. Trying not to think of everything I'd lost- and everything yet to lose- I managed to complete the left turn and began a solitary crawl up Benedict.

Home temporary home.

The dog would run out to greet us. I felt inadequate for the role of animal buddy. For anything.

I drove up to the white gate. It took a long time to find the card key, even longer to slip it in the slot. Moving the truck up the drive, I counted cypress trees in an effort to settle my mind on something.

I parked next to the Seville and we got out.

The dog didn't rush out to greet us.

I fumbled with the key to the front door. Turned it. As I walked through the door, something cold and hard pressed against my left temple and a hand reached around and clapped me hard on the right side of my head.

Immobilizing my skull.

"Hello, doctor," said a voice from a chant. "Welcome to Bad Love."