Be Careful What You Wish For

43

‘I WOULD LIKE to begin today’s meeting by welcoming Mr Bob Bingham as a member of the board,’ said Emma. ‘Bob is chairman of Bingham’s Fish Paste, and as he has recently acquired twenty-two point five per cent of Barrington’s stock, he doesn’t have to convince anyone of his belief in the company’s future. We have also received resignations from two other board members, Mr Cedric Hardcastle, whose shrewd and wise advice will be sadly missed, and Major Fisher, who will not be quite so sadly missed.’

Admiral Summers allowed himself a wry smile.

‘As there are only ten days to go before the official naming of the Buckingham, perhaps I should begin by bringing you up to date with the preparations for the ceremony.’ Emma opened the red folder in front of her and checked the schedule carefully. ‘The Queen Mother will arrive at Temple Meads on the royal train at 9.35 on the morning of September twenty-first. She will be met on the platform by the Lord Lieutenant of the County and City of Bristol and the Lord Mayor of Bristol. Her Majesty will then be driven to Bristol Grammar School, where she will be met by the headmaster, who will escort her to the school’s new science laboratories, which she will open at 10.10. She will meet a selected group of pupils and staff, before leaving the school at eleven o’clock. She will then be driven to Avonmouth, arriving at the shipyard at 11.17.’ Emma looked up. ‘My life would be so much simpler if I always knew the exact minute I would be arriving anywhere. I will meet Her Majesty when she arrives at Avonmouth,’ she continued, looking back down at the schedule, ‘and welcome her on behalf of the company, before introducing her to the board. At 11.29 I will accompany her to the north dock, where she will meet the ship’s architect, our marine engineer and the chairman of Harland and Wolff.

‘At three minutes to twelve, I will officially welcome our guest of honour. My speech will last for three minutes, and on the first stroke of twelve, Her Majesty will name the Buckingham with the traditional breaking of a magnum of champagne on the hull.’

‘And what happens if the bottle doesn’t break?’ asked Clive Anscott, laughing.

No one else laughed.

‘There’s nothing in my file about that,’ said Emma. ‘At twelve thirty, Her Majesty will leave for the Royal West of England Academy, where she will join the staff for lunch, before opening its new art gallery at three. At four, she will be driven back to Temple Meads, accompanied by the lord lieutenant, and will board the royal train, which will depart for Paddington ten minutes after she has boarded.’

Emma closed the file, let out a sigh, and received a mock round of applause from her fellow directors. ‘As a child,’ she added, ‘I always wanted to be a princess, but after that, I have to tell you I’ve changed my mind.’ This time the applause was genuine.

‘How will we know where we’re expected to be at any particular moment?’ asked Andy Dobbs.

‘Every member of the board will be issued with a copy of the official timetable, and heaven help the person who isn’t in the right place at the right time. I’ll now move on to the equally important matter of the Buckingham’s maiden voyage, which as you all know will start on October the twenty-ninth. The board will be pleased to learn that every cabin has been taken and, even more pleasing, the return voyage is also sold out.’

‘Sold out is an interesting description,’ said Bob Bingham. ‘How many are paying passengers and how many are guests?’

‘Guests?’ repeated the admiral.

‘Passengers who will not be paying for their tickets.’

‘Well, there are several people who are entitled—’

‘—to a free trip. Don’t let them get used to it would be my advice.’

‘Would you count the board members and their families in that category, Mr Bingham?’ asked Emma.

‘Not on the maiden voyage, but in the future certainly, as a matter of principle. A floating palace is very attractive when you don’t have to pay for your cabin, not to mention your food or your drink.’

‘Do tell me, Mr Bingham, do you always pay for your own fish paste?’

‘Always, admiral. That way my staff don’t feel they’re entitled to free samples for their families and friends.’

‘Then on any future voyage,’ said Emma, ‘I will always pay for my cabin, and I will never travel free while I am chairman of this company.’

One or two members of the board shifted uneasily in their chairs.

‘I do hope,’ said David Dixon, ‘that won’t stop the Barringtons and the Cliftons being well represented on this historic voyage.’

‘Most of my family will be joining me on the trip,’ said Emma, ‘with the exception of my sister Grace who will only be able to attend the naming ceremony, as it’s the first week of term and she will have to return to Cambridge immediately afterwards.’

‘And Sir Giles?’ asked Anscott.

‘That will depend on whether the prime minister decides to call a general election. However, my son Sebastian will definitely be coming with his girlfriend Samantha, but they will be in cabin class. And before you ask, Mr Bingham, I did pay for their tickets.’

‘If he’s the lad who came up to my factory a couple of weeks back, I’d keep my eyes open, chairman, because I have a feeling he’s after your job.’

‘But he’s only twenty-four,’ said Emma.

‘That won’t worry him. I was chairman of Bingham’s at twenty-seven.’

‘So I’ve got another three years.’

‘You and Cedric,’ said Bob, ‘depending on which of you he decides to replace.’

‘I don’t think Bingham’s joking, chairman,’ said the admiral. ‘Can’t wait to meet the boy.’

‘Have any former directors been invited to join us on the voyage to New York?’ asked Andy Dobbs. ‘I have Ross Buchanan in mind.’

‘Yes,’ said Emma, ‘I must admit that I have invited Ross and Jean to join us as guests of the company. That’s assuming Mr Bingham approves.’

‘I wouldn’t be on this board if it wasn’t for Ross Buchanan, and after what Cedric Hardcastle told me about what he got up to on The Night Scotsman, I think he’s more than earned his passage.’

‘Couldn’t agree more,’ said Jim Knowles. ‘But that begs the question of what we do about Fisher and Hardcastle?’

‘I hadn’t thought of inviting Major Fisher,’ said Emma, ‘and Cedric Hardcastle has already told me that he feels it might not be wise for him to attend the naming ceremony, following Lady Virginia’s veiled attack on him at the AGM.’

‘Has that woman been stupid enough to issue her threatened writ?’ asked Dobbs.

‘Yes,’ said Emma, ‘claiming both defamation and slander.’

‘Slander I understand,’ said Dobbs, ‘but how can she claim defamation?’

‘Because I insisted that every word of our exchange was recorded in the minutes of the AGM.’

‘Then let’s hope she’s stupid enough to take you to the High Court.’

‘Stupid she is not,’ said Bingham, ‘but she is arrogant enough, though I have a feeling that while Fisher is still around to give evidence, she won’t risk it.’

‘Can we get back to the business in hand?’ asked the admiral. ‘I could be dead by the time the case reaches the courts.’

Emma laughed. ‘Was there anything in particular you wanted to raise, admiral?’

‘How long is the voyage to New York scheduled to take?’

‘Just over four days, which compares favourably with any of our rivals.’

‘But the Buckingham is equipped with the first twin-engined diesel motor, so surely there’s a possibility of capturing the Blue Riband for the fastest ever crossing?’

‘If the weather conditions were perfect, and they are usually pretty good at this time of the year, we’d have an outside chance, but you’ve only got to mention the words Blue Riband and the first thing people think about is the Titanic. So we mustn’t even suggest the possibility until the Statue of Liberty can be seen on the horizon.’

‘Chairman, how many people are we expecting to attend the naming ceremony?’

‘The chief constable tells me it could be three, or perhaps even four, thousand.’

‘And who’s in charge of security?’

‘The police are responsible for crowd control and public safety.’

‘While we pick up the bill.’

‘Just like a football match,’ said Knowles.

‘Let’s hope not,’ said Emma. ‘If there are no more questions, I’d like to propose that we hold our next board meeting in the Walter Barrington suite of the Buckingham on the return voyage from New York. Until then, I look forward to seeing all of you here at precisely ten o’clock on the twenty-first.’

‘But that’s over an hour before the dear lady is due to arrive,’ said Bob Bingham.

‘You’ll find we rise early in the West Country, Mr Bingham. That’s how we birds catch the worm.’