Before the Coffee Gets Cold

II Husband and Wife

The cafe has no air conditioning. It opened in 1874, more than a hundred and forty years ago. Back then, people still used oil lamps for light. Over the years, the cafe underwent a few small renovations, but its interior today is pretty much unchanged from its original look. When it opened, the decor must have been considered very avant-garde. The commonly accepted date for the appearance of the modern cafe in Japan is around 1888 – a whole fourteen years later.

Coffee was introduced to Japan in the Edo period, around the late seventeenth century. Initially it didn’t appeal to Japanese taste buds and it was certainly not thought of as something one drank for enjoyment – which was no wonder, considering it tasted like black, bitter water.

When electricity was introduced, the cafe switched the oil lamps for electric lights, but installing an air conditioner would have destroyed the charm of the interior. So, to this day, the cafe has no air conditioning.

But every year, summer comes around. When midday temperatures soar to above 30 degrees Celsius, you would expect a shop, even one that is underground, to be sweltering inside. The cafe does have a large-bladed ceiling fan, which, being electric, must have been added later. But a ceiling fan like this one doesn’t generate a strong breeze and simply serves to make the air circulate.

The hottest temperature ever recorded in Japan was 41 degrees Celsius at Ekawasaki in Kochi Prefecture. It is difficult to imagine a ceiling fan being at all useful in such heat. But even in the height of summer, this cafe is always pleasantly cool. Who is keeping it cool? Beyond the staff, no one knows – nor will they ever know.

It was an afternoon in summer. It was only early in the season but the temperature outside was as high as on any midsummer day. Inside the cafe, a young woman seated at the counter was busy writing. Next to her was an iced coffee diluted by melting ice. The woman was dressed for summer, in a white frilled T-shirt, a tight grey miniskirt, and strappy sandals. She sat with her back straight, as her pen raced across cherry-blossom-pink letter paper.

Standing behind the counter, a slender woman of pale complexion looked on, her eyes filled with a youthful sparkle. It was Kei Tokita, and the contents of the letter had no doubt piqued her curiosity. Occasionally she would take sneak peeks with a look of childlike fascination on her face.

Apart from the woman at the counter who was writing the letter, the other customers in the cafe were the woman in the white dress sitting in that chair, and the man named Fusagi, who was sitting at the table seat closest to the entrance. Fusagi once again had a magazine opened on the table.

The woman writing the letter drew a deep breath. Kei followed by taking a deep breath herself.

‘Sorry for being here so long,’ the woman said, inserting her finished letter in an envelope.

‘Not at all,’ Kei said, fleetingly glancing down at her feet.

‘Um… Do you think you could pass this to my sister?’

The woman was grasping the letter-filled envelope with two hands, and presenting it to Kei politely. Her name was Kumi Hirai. She was the younger sister of the cafe regular Yaeko Hirai.

‘Ah. Well, if I know your sister…’ Kei thought the better of continuing, and bit her lip.

Kumi tilted her head slightly and gave Kei an inquisitive look.

But Kei simply smiled as if she meant nothing by it. ‘OK… I’ll pass it on to her,’ she said, looking at the letter Kumi was holding.

Kumi hesitated a little. ‘I know she might not even read it. But if you could…’ she said, bowing her head low.

Kei assumed a correct and polite stance. ‘Of course I will,’ she said, acting as if she was being entrusted with something extremely important. She received the letter with both hands and made a courteous bow while Kumi moved to the cash register.

‘How much?’ Kumi asked, handing Kei the bill.

Kei carefully placed the letter on the counter. Then she took the bill and began punching the keys of the cash register.

This cafe’s cash register had to be a contender for the oldest one still in use – although it hadn’t been in the cafe right from the beginning. Its keys were much like those of a typewriter, and it was introduced to the cafe at the beginning of the Showa period, in about 1925. This was a very solidly built cash register, designed to prevent theft. Its frame alone weighed about forty kilograms. It made a noisy clank each time a key was punched.

‘Coffee and… toast… curry rice… mixed parfait…’

Clank clank clank clank… clank clank. Kei rhythmically punched in the amounts of each order. ‘Ice-cream soda… pizza toast…’

Kumi certainly seemed to have eaten a lot. In fact, not everything fitted on one bill. Kei began punching in the orders of the second bill. ‘Curry pilaf… banana float… cutlet curry…’ Normally it’s not necessary to read out each item, but Kei didn’t mind doing it. The sight of her punching in the amounts resembled a child happily immersed in playing with a toy.

‘Then you had the Gorgonzola gnocchi, and the chicken and perilla cream pasta…’

‘I sort of pigged out, didn’t I?’ said Kumi in a rather loud voice, perhaps a little embarrassed at having everything read out. Please, you don’t have to read it all out, was probably what she wanted to say.

‘You certainly did.’

Of course, it wasn’t Kei who said this – it was Fusagi. Having heard the order being read out, he had muttered this softly while he continued to read his magazine.

Kei ignored him, but Kumi’s ears went a rosy pink. ‘How much?’ Kumi asked. But Kei had not finished.

‘Ah, let’s see… then there was the mixed sandwich… grilled onigiri… second curry rice… and er… the iced coffee… comes to a total… of ten thousand, two hundred and thirty yen.’

Kei smiled, her round sparkling eyes showing nothing but kindness.

‘OK then, here you go,’ Kumi said, and she quickly pulled out two notes from her purse.

Kei took the notes and counted them efficiently. ‘Receiving eleven thousand yen,’ she said, and again she punched the keys of the cash register.

Kumi waited with her head hung low.

Cha-ching… The cash drawer opened with a jolt and Kei pulled out the change.

‘That’s seven hundred and seventy yen change.’

Smiling once again, with her round eyes sparkling, Kei gave Kumi the change.

Kumi bowed her head politely. ‘Thank you. It was delicious.’

Perhaps because she was embarrassed that all the things she had eaten had been read aloud, Kumi now seemed eager to leave quickly. But just as she was going, Kei called out to stop her.

‘Um… Kumi,’ she said.

Kumi stopped in her tracks and looked back at her.

‘About your sister…’ Kei said, and glanced down at her feet. ‘Is there any message you would like me to give her?’ She held both hands up in the air as she asked.

‘No it’s OK. I wrote it in the letter,’ Kumi said, without hesitation.

‘Yes, I imagine you did.’ Kei furrowed her brow as if disappointed.

Perhaps touched that Kei showed such concern, Kumi grinned and said, after a moment’s thought, ‘Perhaps there is one thing you could say…’

‘Yes of course.’ Kei’s expression brightened instantly.

‘Tell her that neither Dad nor Mum is angry any more.’

‘Your father and mother aren’t angry any more,’ Kei repeated.

‘Yes… Please tell her that.’

Kei’s eyes were once again round and sparkling. She nodded twice. ‘OK, I will,’ she said happily.

Kumi looked around the cafe and once more bowed politely to Kei before she left.

Kei went over to the entrance to check that Kumi had gone, and then with a quick pirouette, she started talking to the vacant counter.

‘Did you have a fight with your parents?’

Then from under the supposedly vacant counter a husky voice answered. ‘They disowned me,’ Hirai said, emerging from under the counter.

‘But you heard her, right?’

‘Heard what?’

‘That your father and mother aren’t cross any more.’

‘I’ll believe that when I see it…’

After being crouched under the counter for a really long time, Hirai was bent over like an old woman. She hobbled out into the room. As always, she had her curlers in. She was dolled up in a leopard-print camisole, a tight pink skirt, and beach sandals.

Hirai winced a little. ‘Your sister seems really nice.’

‘When you’re not in my position, I’m sure she is… yeah.’

Hirai sat on the counter seat where Kumi had been sitting. She plucked a cigarette from her leopard-print pouch and lit it. A plume of smoke rose into the air. Following it with her eyes, Hirai’s face showed a rare vulnerability. She looked as if her thoughts had drifted somewhere far away.

Kei walked around Hirai to take her position behind the counter. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ she asked.

Hirai blew another plume of smoke. ‘She resents me.’

‘What do you mean she resents you?’ Kei asked.

‘She didn’t want it passed down to her.’

‘Huh?’ Kei tilted her head sideways, unsure what Hirai was talking about.

‘The inn…’

The inn Hirai’s family ran was a well-known luxury place in Sendai, Miyagi Prefecture. Her parents had planned for Hirai to take over the inn, but she had a falling out with them thirteen years earlier and it was decided that Kumi would be the successor. Her parents were in good health, but they were getting on in years and as the future manager, Kumi had already taken over many of the inn’s responsibilities. Since Kumi had accepted she would take over, she regularly made the trek to Tokyo to visit Hirai and try and persuade her to come home.

‘I keep telling her I don’t want to go home. But she keeps on asking time and time and time again.’ Hirai bent the fingers of both hands one by one as if she was counting the times. ‘Saying that she was persistent would be an understatement.’

‘But you don’t have to hide from her.’

‘I don’t want to see it.’

‘See what?’

‘Her face.’

Kei tilted her head inquisitively.

‘I see it written on her face. Because of what I did, she is now going to be the owner of an inn she doesn’t want to run. She wants me to come home so that she can be free,’ Hirai said.

‘I don’t really see how all that can be written on her face,’ Kei suggested doubtfully.

Hirai knew Kei well enough to know she was probably struggling to picture this. Her very literal mind sometimes missed the point.

‘What I mean,’ Hirai said, ‘is it just feels like she is pressuring me.’

Frowning, she blew out another plume of smoke.

Kei stood there thoughtfully tilting her head to the side several times.

‘Oh god! Is that the time? Oh dear!’ Hirai said dramatically. She quickly stubbed out her cigarette in the ashtray. ‘I’ve got a bar to open.’ She stood up and gingerly stretched from the hips. ‘You sure feel it in your back after three hours crouched down like that.’

Hirai thumped her lower back and headed quickly for the entrance, her beach sandals flip-flopping loudly.

‘Hold on! The letter.’ Kei picked up the letter Kumi had given her and presented it to Hirai.

‘Throw it away!’ Hirai said, without looking, waving it away dismissively with her right hand.

‘You’re not going to read it?’

‘I can imagine what it says. It’s really tough for me by myself. Please come home. It’s OK if you learn the ropes once you’re there. You know, that sort of stuff.’

As she spoke, Hirai pulled out her dictionary-sized purse from her leopard-print pouch. She put the money for the coffee on the counter.

‘See you later,’ she said and left the cafe, clearly desperate to get away.

‘I can’t just throw it away.’ Kei’s face showed her dilemma as she looked at the letter from Kumi.

While Kei was still standing frozen like this, the bell rang again and Kazu Tokita entered the cafe, taking the place of Hirai.

Kazu had gone out today with Nagare, the cafe’s owner and her cousin, to buy supplies. She returned carrying several shopping bags in both hands. The car key was jangling with other keys on the key ring hanging off her ring finger. She was dressed casually, wearing a T-shirt and blue jeans. This was in stark contrast to the bow tie and apron she wore when working.

‘Welcome back,’ smiled Kei, still holding the letter.

‘Sorry we took so long.’

‘No, it was fine. It was pretty quiet.’

‘I’ll get changed right away.’ Kazu’s face was always more expressive before she put on her bow tie. She stuck out her tongue cheekily and darted into the back room.

Kei kept holding the letter. ‘Where’s that damn husband of mine?’ she called out to the back room, looking at the entrance.

Kazu and Nagare did the shopping together. This wasn’t because there was so much to buy, but because Nagare was a difficult shopper. He would get so caught up with wanting to buy the best that he would often go over budget. It was Kazu’s job to tag along and make sure he didn’t. While they were gone, Kei handled the cafe alone. Sometimes when Nagare was unable to find the ingredients he wanted, he would get in a stink and go out drinking.

‘He said he would probably be late coming back,’ Kazu said.

‘Oh, I bet he’s gone out drinking again.’

Kazu poked her head out. ‘I’ll take over now,’ she said apologetically.

‘Argh… I don’t believe that man!’ Kei said, puffing out her cheeks. She retreated to the back room, still holding the letter.

The only people left in the cafe were the woman in the dress quietly reading her novel and Fusagi. Despite it being summer, they were both drinking hot coffee. There were two reasons for this: firstly, you received free refills with hot coffee, and secondly the coffee being hot didn’t bother these two customers as it was always cool inside the cafe, and they sat there for so long anyway. Kazu soon reappeared dressed in her normal waitress’s uniform.

Summer had only just begun, but today it was over 30 degrees Celsius outside. She had walked less than a hundred metres from the car park but the sweat still beaded on her face. She exhaled sharply while wiping her brow with a handkerchief.

‘Um, excuse me…’ said Fusagi, who had lifted his head from his magazine.

‘Yes?’ said Kazu, as if something had surprised her.

‘May I have a refill, please?’

‘Oh, sure.’ She let her usual cool demeanour slip, and replied in the casual tone she had used while wearing a T-shirt just earlier.

Fusagi had his eyes glued on Kazu as she walked into the kitchen. When he came to the cafe, Fusagi always sat in the same chair. If another customer was sitting there, he would leave rather than sit anywhere else. Rather than coming every day, he normally made an appearance two or three times a week, some time after lunch. He would open up his travel magazine and look through it from cover to cover while occasionally jotting down notes. He would usually stay as long as it took to finish the magazine. The only thing he ever ordered was a hot coffee.

The coffee served at the cafe was made from mocha beans grown in Ethiopia, which have a distinct aroma. But it didn’t appeal to everybody’s tastes – though it was deliciously aromatic, some found its bitter fruitiness and complex overtones a little overbearing. On Nagare’s insistence, the cafe only served mocha. Fusagi happened to like this coffee, and he seemed to find the cafe a comfortable space to leisurely read his magazine. Kazu returned from the kitchen holding the glass carafe to pour Fusagi his refill.

Standing by his table, Kazu picked up the cup by the saucer. Fusagi would normally continue to read his magazine while waiting for her to pour his refill – but today was different: he looked directly at her with a strange expression.

Sensing that his manner was different from usual, she thought he must want something else besides the coffee refill. ‘Is there anything else?’ she asked with a smile.

He smiled at her politely, looking a little embarrassed. ‘Are you a new waitress here?’ he asked.

Her expression didn’t change as she placed the cup in front of Fusagi. ‘Er… hmm,’ was all that she replied.

‘Oh, really?’ he replied a little bashfully. He seemed pleased to have communicated to the waitress that he was a regular customer. But satisfied with that, he immediately lowered his head and returned to reading his magazine.

Kazu went about her work with a deadpan expression as if nothing was out of the ordinary. But with no other customers, there was not much to do. Her only work at that moment was wiping some washed glasses and plates with a tea towel and returning them to the shelf. As she went about this task, she started talking to Fusagi. In this small, intimate cafe, it was quite easy to hold a conversation from such a distance without raising one’s voice.

‘So, do you come here often?’

He lifted his head. ‘Yes.’

She went on. ‘Do you know about this place? Have you heard its urban legend?’

‘Yes, I know all about it.’

‘About that seat as well?’

‘Yes.’

‘So are you one of those customers planning on going back in time?’

‘Yes, I am,’ he replied without hesitation.

She let her hands pause briefly. ‘If you return to the past, what are you planning to do?’ But realizing the question was too intrusive and not something she would normally ask, she immediately backtracked. ‘That was a rude thing to ask. I’m sorry…’ She bowed her head and returned to her wiping, avoiding his gaze.

He looked at her with her head bowed, and quietly picked up his zipped portfolio. From it, he pulled out a plain brown envelope. Its four corners were crumpled as though he had been carrying it around for a long time. There was no address on the envelope, but it looked like a letter.

He held this letter tentatively in both hands, holding it up a little in front of his chest for her to see.

‘What’s that?’ she asked, pausing once again in what she was doing.

‘For my wife,’ he muttered in a quiet voice. ‘It’s for my wife.’

‘Is that a letter?’

‘Yeah.’

‘For your wife?’

‘Yeah, I never managed to give it to her.’

‘So, you want to return to the day you meant to pass it to her?’

‘Yeah, that’s right,’ he answered, once again without any hesitation.

‘So, where is your wife now?’ she asked.

Rather than answering straight away, he paused in awkward silence. ‘Um…’

She stood looking squarely at him, waiting for him to answer.

‘I don’t know,’ he said in a barely discernible voice as he began to scratch his head. After this admission his expression hardened.

She said nothing in reply.

Then, as if offering an excuse, he said, ‘Hmm, but, I really had a wife,’ and then he hastily added, ‘Her name was…’ He began tapping his head with his finger. ‘Huh? That’s odd.’ He tilted his head. ‘What was her name?’ he said, and went quiet again.

At some time during this, Kei had returned from the back room. Her face looked drained, maybe because she had just witnessed Kazu and Fusagi’s exchange.

‘Well that’s odd. I’m sorry,’ Fusagi said, forcing an awkward smile.

Kazu’s face showed a subtle mix of emotions – it wasn’t quite her normal cool expression, but nor was she showing much empathy.

‘Don’t worry about it…’ she said.

Kazu silently looked to the entrance.

‘Ah,’ she gasped when she saw Kohtake standing in the doorway.

Kohtake worked as a nurse at the local hospital. She must have been on her way home. Instead of her nurse’s uniform, she was wearing an olive-green tunic and navy-blue capri pants. She had a black shoulder bag on one shoulder, and she was wiping the sweat from her brow with a lilac handkerchief. Kohtake casually acknowledged Kei and Kazu standing behind the counter before walking up to Fusagi’s table.

‘Hello, Fusagi, I see you’re here again today,’ she said.

Hearing his name, he looked up at Kohtake in puzzlement, before averting his eyes and lowering his head in silence.

Kohtake sensed that his mood was different from usual. She supposed he might not be feeling very well. ‘Fusagi, are you OK?’ she asked gently.

Fusagi lifted his head and looked directly at her. ‘I’m sorry. Have we met before?’ he asked apologetically.

Kohtake lost her smile. In a cold silence, the lilac handkerchief she had just used to wipe her brow dropped from her hand onto the floor.

Fusagi had early onset Alzheimer’s disease, and was losing his memory. The disease causes rapid depletion of the brain’s neural cells. The brain pathologically atrophies, causing loss of intelligence and changes to the personality. One of the striking symptoms of early onset Alzheimer’s is how the deterioration of brain function appears so sporadic. Sufferers forget some things but remember other things. In Fusagi’s case, his memories were gradually disappearing, starting with the most recent. Meanwhile, his previously hard-to-please personality had been slowing mellowing.

In that moment, Fusagi remembered that he had a wife, but he didn’t remember that Kohtake, standing before him, was his wife.

‘I guess not,’ Kohtake said quietly as she took one, then two steps back.

Kazu stared at Kohtake, while Kei pointed her pale face down at the floor. Kohtake slowly turned round and walked to the seat at the counter that was furthest from Fusagi and sat down.

It was after sitting down that she noticed the handkerchief that had dropped from her hand. She decided to ignore it and pretend it wasn’t hers. But Fusagi noticed the handkerchief, which had fallen near his feet, and picked it up. He stared at it in his hand for a while, and then he rose from his chair and walked over to the counter where Kohtake was sitting.

‘You’ll have to excuse me. Recently I’ve been forgetting a lot,’ he said bowing his head.

Kohtake didn’t look at him. ‘OK,’ she said. She took the handkerchief in her trembling hand.

Fusagi bowed his head again and shuffled awkwardly back to his seat. He sat down but couldn’t relax. After turning several pages of his magazine, he paused and scratched his head. Then a few moments later, he reached for his coffee and took one sip. The cup had only just been refilled, but—

‘Damn coffee’s cold,’ he muttered.

‘Another refill?’ Kazu asked.

But he stood up in a hurry. ‘I’ll be leaving now,’ he said abruptly, closing his magazine and putting away his things.

Kohtake continued to stare at the floor with her hands on her lap as she clenched the handkerchief tightly.

Fusagi moved to the cash register and handed over the bill. ‘How much?’

‘Three hundred and eighty yen, please,’ Kazu said, glancing sideways at Kohtake. She punched in the amount on the cash-register keys.

‘Three hundred and eighty yen.’ Fusagi pulled out a thousand-yen note from his well-worn leather wallet. ‘Right, here’s a thousand,’ he said as he handed the note over.

‘Receiving one thousand yen,’ Kazu said, taking the money and punching the cash-register keys.

Fusagi kept glancing at Kohtake, but with no apparent purpose. He appeared to be just restlessly looking around while waiting for the change.

‘That’s six hundred and twenty yen change.’

Fusagi quickly reached out his hand and took the change. ‘Thanks for the coffee,’ he said, almost apologetically, and hurried out.

‘Thank you, come again…’

Upon Fusagi’s departure, the cafe fell into an uncomfortable silence. The woman in the dress quietly read her book, unbothered as ever with what was going on around her. With no background music playing, the only sounds that could be heard were the constant ticking of the clocks and the woman in the dress occasionally turning the page of her book.

Kazu first broke this long silence. ‘Kohtake…’ she said. But she was unable to find the appropriate words.

‘It’s OK, I have been mentally preparing for today.’ Kohtake smiled at Kei and Kazu. ‘Don’t worry.’

But after speaking she once again looked down at the floor.

She had explained Fusagi’s illness to Kei and Kazu before, and Nagare and Hirai knew about it too. She had resigned herself to the fact that one day he would completely forget who she was. She was always preparing herself. If it happens, she thought, I will care for him as a nurse. I am a nurse, so I can do that.

Early onset Alzheimer’s disease progresses differently for each individual, depending on a whole range of factors which include age, gender, the cause of the illness, and the treatment. Fusagi’s rate of deterioration was progressing rapidly.

Kohtake was still in shock from his forgetting who she was. She was struggling to get things straight in her head while the general mood was so low. She turned to Kei, but she was in the kitchen. Almost instantly, she appeared holding a half-gallon bottle of sake.

‘A gift from a customer,’ Kei said as she put it down on the table. ‘Drink, anyone?’ she asked, with smiling eyes, still red from crying. The name on the label was Seven Happinesses.

Kei’s spur-of-the-moment decision had introduced a ray of light into the gloomy atmosphere, and eased the tension between the three.

Kohtake was in two minds about drinking, but was reluctant to pass up the chance. ‘Well, just one…’ she said.

Kohtake was simply thankful that the mood had changed. She had heard that Kei often acted on impulse, but she had never expected to experience her sense of fun at a moment like this.

Hirai had often mentioned Kei’s talent for living happily; she may have looked despondent a few moments earlier, but now she was looking at Kohtake with wide, bright eyes. Kohtake found staring into those eyes a strangely calming experience.

‘I’ll see if I can find some nibbles to go with it,’ Kazu said, disappearing into the kitchen.

‘Why don’t we warm the sake?’

‘No, it’s OK.’

‘Right, we’ll drink it as it is.’

Kei removed the lid deftly and poured the sake into the row of glasses she had set out.

Kohtake let out a chuckle as Kei placed a glass in front of her. ‘Thank you,’ she said with a thin smile.

Kazu returned with a tin of pickles. ‘This was all I could find…’ She put down a small dish, tipped the pickles onto it and set three small forks on the counter.

‘Oh, yum!’ Kei said. ‘But I can’t drink myself.’ She brought out a carton of orange juice from the fridge under the counter and poured herself a glass.

None of the three women were that particular about sake, especially Kei, who didn’t drink. Seven Happinesses earned its name from the claim that those who drank it would obtain seven different kinds of happiness. It was transparent, pigment-free top-shelf sake. The two drinkers did not take much notice of this premium sake’s subtle glacial hue – nor its fruity aroma. But it went down well and delivered on the happy feeling its label promised.

As Kohtake inhaled the sweet aroma, she recalled one summer day, some fifteen years ago, when she first visited the cafe.

There had been a heat wave in Japan that summer. Record temperatures were continually reported throughout the country. Day after day, the television discussed the unusual weather, often alluding to global warming. Fusagi had taken a day off from work, and they had gone shopping together. That day was a real scorcher. Hot and bothered from the heat, Fusagi pleaded that they take refuge somewhere cool, and together they searched for a suitable place, like a cafe. The problem was that everyone had the same idea. None of the cafes or family restaurants they spotted had empty seats.

By chance, they saw a small sign in a narrow back alley. The cafe’s name was Funiculi Funicula. It was the same name as a song Kohtake once knew. It was a long time since she’d heard it, but she still remembered the melody clearly. The lyrics were about climbing a volcano. The thought of red-hot lava on this hot summer day made everything seem even hotter and jewel-like beads of sweat formed on Kohtake’s brow. However, when they opened the heavy wooden door and entered, the cafe was refreshingly cool. The clang-dong of the bell was also comforting. And, even though it had three two-seater tables and a three-seater counter, the only customer there was a woman in a white dress seated furthest from the entrance. Thanks to a stroke of luck, they had made a real find.

‘What a relief,’ Fusagi said and chose the table closest to the entrance. He quickly ordered iced coffee from the woman with the bright eyes who brought them glasses of cold water. ‘Iced coffee for me too, please,’ Kohtake said, sitting opposite him. Fusagi must have been uncomfortable with this seating arrangement, as he moved and sat at the counter. This didn’t upset Kohtake: she was used to such behaviour from him. She was just thinking how wonderful it was to find such a relaxing cafe so close to the hospital where she worked.

The thick pillars and the massive wooden beam that cut across the ceiling were a lustrous dark brown, like the colour of chestnuts. Mounted on the walls were three large wall clocks. Kohtake didn’t know much about antiques but she could tell that these were from an earlier period. The walls were tan, made of earthen plaster with a wonderful patina of obscure stains that had obviously built up over many years. It was daytime outside, but in this windowless cafe, there was no sense of time. Dim lighting gave the cafe a sepia hue. All this created a comforting, retro atmosphere.

It had been incredibly cool in the cafe, but there was no sign of an air conditioner. A wooden-bladed fan fixed to the ceiling was slowly rotating, but that was all. Thinking how strange it was that this cafe was so cool, Kohtake asked both Kei and Nagare about it. Neither provided satisfactory answers; they just said, ‘It’s been like this since long ago.’

Kohtake took a real shine to the atmosphere, and to the personalities of Kei and the others. And so she began to come often during her breaks from work.

‘Chee—’ Kazu was going to say Cheers but stopped herself, screwing up her face as if she had committed a faux pas.

‘I guess it’s not a celebration, is it?’

‘Oh, come on. Let’s not be too down,’ Kei said glumly. She turned to Kohtake and smiled sympathetically.

Kohtake held up her glass in front of Kazu’s. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘No, it’s fine.’

Kohtake smiled reassuringly and clinked glasses with her. This harmonious clink – unexpected and cheerful – sounded throughout the room. Kohtake took a sip of Seven Happinesses. Its gentle sweetness spread through her mouth. ‘It’s been half a year since he started calling me by my maiden name…’ she began, speaking softly. ‘It’s silently progressing. Fading away, slowly but steadily fading away… His memory of me, that is.’ She laughed softly. ‘I have been mentally preparing for this, you know,’ she said.

As Kei listened, her eyes were again slowly reddening.

‘But it’s really OK… honestly,’ Kohtake hastened to add, waving her hand reassuringly. ‘Hey guys, I’m a nurse. Look, even if my identity is totally erased from his memory, I’ll be part of his life as a nurse. I’ll still be there for him.’

Kohtake had put on her most confident voice to reassure Kei and Kazu. She meant what she said. She was putting on a brave face, but her bravery was real. I can still be there for him because I’m a nurse.

Kazu was playing with her glass, staring at it with a deadpan expression.

Kei’s eyes welled up again and a single teardrop fell.

Flap.

The sound came from behind Kohtake. The woman in the dress had closed her book.

Kohtake turned round to see the woman in the dress placing the closed novel on the table. She took a handkerchief from her white purse, rose from the table and headed towards the toilet. The woman in the dress walked silently. Had they not heard the novel close, they might never even have noticed she had gone.

Kohtake’s eyes stayed glued to her movements, but Kei just glanced at her, and Kazu took a sip of Seven Happinesses and didn’t even look up. After all, it was just an ordinary daily occurrence for them.

‘That reminds me. I wonder why Fusagi wants to return to the past?’ Kohtake said, staring at the seat vacated by the woman in the dress. She knew, of course, that that was the seat for returning to the past.

Before the Alzheimer’s disease took hold, Fusagi was not the type of person who believed in such tales. When Kohtake casually mentioned the rumour that this cafe could send you back to the past, he would scoff. He didn’t believe in ghosts or the paranormal.

But after he started to lose his memory, the once-sceptical Fusagi started coming to the cafe and waiting for the woman in the dress to leave her seat. When Kohtake first heard of this, she found it hard to believe. But personality change is one of the symptoms of Alzheimer’s, and now that the disease had progressed, Fusagi had newly become very absent-minded. In light of such changes, Kohtake had decided that it wasn’t particularly strange that he had changed what he believed in.

But why did he want to return to the past?

Kohtake was very curious about this. She had asked him on several occasions, but he just said, ‘It’s a secret.’

‘Apparently he wants to give you a letter,’ Kazu said, as if reading Kohtake’s mind.

‘Give it to me?’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘A letter?’

‘Fusagi said it was something he never managed to give you.’

Kohtake was silent. Then she replied matter-of-factly, ‘I see…’

Uncertainty swept across Kazu’s face. Kohtake’s reaction to this news was unexpectedly cool. Was it impertinent to have mentioned it?

But Kohtake’s response wasn’t anything to do with Kazu. The real reason for her curt response was the fact that Fusagi’s having written her a letter didn’t make much sense. After all, he was never any good at reading or writing.

Fusagi had grown up poor in a small derelict town. His family was in the seaweed trade and every member helped out. But helping out affected his schoolwork so badly that he never learned to write anything more than hiragana, and a hundred or so kanji characters – roughly what a child normally learns in the first years of elementary school.

Kohtake and Fusagi were introduced to each other via a mutual acquaintance. Kohtake was twenty-one while Fusagi was twenty-six. This was before everyone had mobile phones, so they communicated by landline and letters. Fusagi wanted to be a landscape gardener, and lived wherever he worked. Kohtake had started nursing college, which further reduced their opportunities to meet. They did communicate, though – by letter.

Kohtake wrote all kinds of things in her letters. She wrote about herself, of course. She wrote about what went on at the nursing college, of good books she had read, and dreams of the future. She wrote of events which ranged from the mundane to the major news of the day, explaining in detail her feelings and reactions. Sometimes the letters were as long as ten pages.

Fusagi’s replies, on the other hand, were always short. There were even times when he would send one-line replies like, ‘Thanks for the interesting letter,’ or, ‘I know just what you mean.’ At first, Kohtake thought he must be busy with work and didn’t have the time to reply, but in letter after letter Fusagi continued to give these brief replies. She took this to mean that he wasn’t very interested in her. Kohtake wrote in her letter that if he wasn’t interested then he shouldn’t bother replying, that with this letter she would stop writing if she didn’t get a reply.

Fusagi normally replied within a week, but not this time. There was still nothing after a month. This was a shock to Kohtake. Certainly, his replies were short. But they never sounded negative, like they had been written out of obligation. On the contrary, they always seemed frank and genuine. So she wouldn’t give up quite yet. In fact, she was still waiting two and a half months after she had sent the ultimatum.

Then one day, after those two months, a letter arrived from Fusagi. All it said was: ‘Let’s get married.’

Those few words managed to move her in a way she had never felt before. But Kohtake found it hard to reply properly to such a letter, Fusagi having opened his heart in such a way. In the end, she simply wrote:

‘Yes, let’s.’

It wasn’t until later that she learned he could barely read or write. When she found out, she asked him how he managed to read all the long letters she wrote to him. Apparently, he just allowed his eyes to wander over them. Then he just wrote in his reply the vague impression he got from this gazing. But with the last letter, after casting his eyes over it, he was overcome with a feeling that he had missed something important. He read it word by word while asking different people to tell him what the words were – hence the long time it took to reply.

Kohtake still looked like she couldn’t believe it.

‘It was a brown envelope, about this size,’ said Kazu drawing in the air with her fingers.

‘A brown envelope?’

Using a brown envelope for a letter sounded like something Fusagi would do, but it still didn’t make sense to Kohtake.

‘A love letter perhaps?’ suggested Kei, her eyes sparkling innocently.

Kohtake smiled wryly. ‘No, not a chance,’ she said, dismissing the idea with a wave of her hands.

‘But if it was a love letter, what will you do?’ Kazu asked with an awkward smile.

She didn’t normally pry into people’s private lives, but perhaps she was running with the idea it was a love letter to help get rid of the dark mood that had until then hung in the air.

Also eager to change the subject, Kohtake willingly accepted the love-letter theory proposed by those who were unaware of how awful Fusagi was at reading and writing. ‘I suppose I would want to read it,’ she replied with a grin.

That was no lie. If he had written her a love letter, of course she wanted to read it.

‘Why not go back and see?’ Kei said.

‘What?’ Kohtake looked at Kei, her face blank with incomprehension.

Kazu responded to Kei’s crazy idea by hurriedly placing her glass on the counter. ‘Sis, seriously?’ she said, bringing her face close to Kei’s.

‘She should read it,’ Kei said, assertively.

‘Kei, my love, hold on,’ Kohtake said, trying hard to slow her down, but it was already too late.

Kei was breathing heavily and was not interested in Kohtake’s effort to restrain her. ‘If it’s a love letter that Fusagi wrote to you, you need to receive it!’

Kei was convinced it was a love letter. And as long as she had this in her mind, she wouldn’t be stopped. Kohtake had known her long enough to realize that.

Kazu didn’t look like she was particularly comfortable with where this was going, but she just sighed and smiled.

Kohtake once again looked at the seat vacated by the woman in the dress. She had heard the rumour about returning to the past. She also knew about the various frustrating rules, and never – not once – had she ever contemplated going back in time herself. She was even uncertain as to whether the rumour was true. But if, say, it was true, she was now definitely interested in trying it. She wanted, more than anything, to know what the letter contained. If what Kazu said was right, if she was able to return to the day that Fusagi had planned to give it to her, she saw a glimmer of hope that she might still get to read it.

She had, however, a dilemma. Now that she knew Fusagi wanted to go back in time to give her a letter, was it right to go back to the past to receive it? She was in two minds – it seemed wrong to get hold of the letter that way. She took a deep breath and took stock of the current situation calmly.

She remembered the rule that going back in time would not change the present, no matter how much you tried. That meant that even if she returned to the past and read that letter, nothing would change.

‘It won’t change,’ Kazu said, bluntly, when Kohtake asked to double check.

Kohtake felt something large stirring in her heart. So, no change to the present meant that even if she went back and took it, Fusagi would, in the present, still be intending to return to the past to give her the letter.

She gulped down her glass of Seven Happinesses. It was just the thing to set her resolve. Exhaling deeply, she put the glass down on the counter. ‘That’s right. That’s right,’ she muttered to herself. ‘If it’s really a love letter written for me, how can it be a problem if I read it?’

Calling it a love letter dispelled her feelings of guilt.

Kei nodded vigorously in agreement, and gulped down the orange juice as if to express solidarity with her. Her nostrils flared excitedly.

Kazu did not join the other two in downing her drink. She quietly placed the glass on the counter and disappeared into the kitchen.

Kohtake stood in front of the seat that would transport her. Feeling her blood pumping through her body, she carefully squeezed in between the chair and the table and sat down. The cafe’s chairs all looked like antiques, elegantly shaped with cabriole legs. The seat and back were upholstered in a moss-green fabric, and Kohtake suddenly saw them in a fresh light. She noticed that all the chairs were in excellent condition as if they were brand new. It wasn’t just the chairs, either; the entire cafe was sparkling clean. If this cafe opened at the beginning of the Meiji period, it must have been operating for more than a hundred years. Yet there was not the slightest hint of mustiness.

She sighed in admiration. She knew that in order to keep this cafe looking this way, someone must be spending a lot of time each day cleaning. She looked to her side to see standing there Kazu, who had approached without Kohtake noticing her. Standing there so quietly, there was something eerie about her appearance. She was carrying a silver tray, on which there were a white coffee cup and, instead of the glass carafe normally used to serve customers, a small silver kettle.

Kohtake’s heart skipped a beat as she saw how stunning Kazu looked. Her normal girlish qualities had disappeared, and she now wore an expression that was both elegant and intimidatingly sombre.

‘You’re familiar with the rules, right?’ Kazu asked in a casual but distant tone.

Kohtake hurriedly went through the rules in her mind.

The first rule was that when returning to the past, the only people one could meet were those who had visited the cafe.

That’s no problem for me, thought Kohtake. Fusagi has visited here countless times.

The second rule was that the present wouldn’t be changed by returning to the past, no matter how hard one tried. Kohtake had already reassured herself that this rule wasn’t a problem. Of course, this did not only apply to letters. If, for example, a revolutionary treatment for Alzheimer’s disease was discovered and somehow taken back to the past to be tried on Fusagi, it would be unable to improve his condition.

It seemed an unkind rule.

The third rule was that, in order to return to the past, one had to sit in this seat in particular. By chance, the woman in the dress had gone to the toilet just at that moment. The narrow window of opportunity was perfectly timed for Kohtake to take advantage of. She had also heard – though didn’t know if it was true – that if you tried to forcefully remove the woman in the dress from her seat, she would curse you. So coincidence or not, Kohtake felt lucky indeed.

But the rules did not end there.

The fourth rule was that when one returned to the past, it was not possible to move from the chair in which one was seated. It wasn’t that you were stuck to the chair, but rather that if you did get up, you would be forcefully brought back to the present. As this cafe was in a basement, there was no mobile-phone signal, hence there was no chance of going back and calling someone who wasn’t there. Also, not being able to leave your seat meant you couldn’t go outside – yet another detestable rule.

Kohtake had heard that several years ago the cafe had become quite famous, attracting a throng of customers who all wanted to return to the past. With all these maddening rules, no wonder people stopped coming, she thought.

Kohtake suddenly realized that Kazu was silently waiting for her reply. ‘I have to drink the coffee before it goes cold, right?’

‘Yes.’

‘Is there anything else?’

There was one other thing she wanted to know: how could she make sure that she returned to the right day and time?

‘You need to form a strong image of the day you want to return to,’ Kazu added, as if reading her mind.

Simply being asked to form an image was rather vague. ‘An image?’ Kohtake asked.

‘A day before Fusagi forgot you. A day when he was thinking of passing you the letter… and a day when he brought the letter with him to the cafe.’

A day when he still remembered her – it was a rough guess, but she remembered a day in summer three years ago. It was a time before Fusagi had shown any symptoms.

A day when he meant to hand her the letter – this was difficult. If she hadn’t received it, how could she know? Yet it would be meaningless to return to a day before he’d written the letter. She decided she should simply visualize an image of Fusagi writing to her.

And a day when he brought the letter with him to the cafe – this one was important. Even if she managed to go back in time and meet him, if he didn’t have the letter, everything would become pointless. Luckily, she knew that he normally put all his important things in his black zippered portfolio, and he would carry this with him. If it was a love letter, he wouldn’t leave it lying around at home. He would definitely be carrying it with him in his zippered portfolio so that she wouldn’t happen upon it.

She didn’t know the day when he meant to give it to her, but where there was a bag, there was a way. She formed an image of Fusagi carrying his zippered portfolio with him.

‘Are you ready?’ said Kazu in a calm, quiet voice.

‘Just a moment.’ She took a deep breath. She formed the images one more time. ‘Day he doesn’t forget… letter… day he came…’ she chanted softly.

OK, enough messing around.

‘I’m ready,’ she said, staring directly into Kazu’s eyes.

Kazu gave a small nod. She set the empty coffee cup in front of Kohtake and carefully picked up the silver kettle from the tray in her right hand. Her ballerina-like motions were efficient and beautiful.

‘Just remember…’ Kazu paused, facing Kohtake with downcast eyes. ‘Drink the coffee before it goes cold.’

These soft words echoed through the silent cafe. Kohtake sensed how tense the atmosphere had become.

With a serious and ceremonial air, Kazu began pouring coffee into the cup.

A thin stream of pitch-black coffee poured from the narrow spout of the silver kettle. Unlike the gurgling sound made by coffee poured from a carafe with a wide mouth, the coffee filled the white coffee cup silently and ever so slowly.

Kohtake had never seen such a kettle before. It was a little smaller than those she had seen at other cafes. Solidly built, it looked very elegant and refined. The coffee is probably special as well, she thought.

As such thoughts were passing through her mind, a wisp of steam rose from the now-full cup. At that moment, everything around Kohtake began to ripple and shimmer. Her entire field of vision suddenly seemed surreal. She recalled the glass of Seven Happinesses she recently downed. Perhaps I’m feeling its effects?

No. This was definitely different. What she was experiencing was far more alarming. Her body had also begun rippling and shimmering. She had become the steam coming off the coffee. It seemed as if everything around her was unravelling.

Kohtake closed her eyes, not out of fear, but in an attempt to focus. If indeed she was now travelling back in time, she wanted to mentally prepare herself.

The very first time Kohtake noticed a change in Fusagi, it was because of something he said. On the day he admitted out loud what had happened, Kohtake was preparing dinner while waiting for him to come home. A landscape gardener’s work does not simply involve pruning branches and raking leaves. He has to consider the balance between the house and the garden. The garden cannot be too colourful, nor can it be too plain. ‘The keyword is balance.’ That was what Fusagi had always said. His work day began early but finished at dusk. Unless there was a particular reason not to, Fusagi would come home straight away. So when Kohtake didn’t have a night shift, she would wait for him and they would eat together.

On this occasion, night came, but Fusagi had still not come home. This was unusual behaviour, but Kohtake assumed he must have gone out drinking with colleagues.

When, finally, he did come home, it was two hours later than usual. Normally, when he came home he would always ring the doorbell three times. But that night, he didn’t ring. Instead, Kohtake heard the sound of the door knob turning and a voice from outside saying, ‘It’s me.’

On hearing his voice, she rushed and opened the door in a panic. She thought he must have hurt himself in some way that prevented him from ringing the doorbell. But there he was, looking as he always did: dressed simply in his grey gardening smock with his navy breeches. He had taken his tool bag from his shoulder, and, looking a little ashamed of himself, admitted, ‘I got lost.’

That had happened around the end of summer two years ago.

Being a nurse, Kohtake had been trained to recognize early symptoms of a whole range of illnesses. This was more than simply forgetting something. She was sure of it. Soon after he began to forget whether or not he had done a task at work. After the illness had progressed a bit further, he would wake in the night and say out loud, ‘I forgot to do something important.’ When this happened, she wouldn’t argue with him; she focused on calming him and reassuring him that they could check up on it in the morning.

She even consulted a doctor behind his back. She was keen to try anything that might slow the advancement of his disease, even if by just a little.

But as the days went on, he began to forget more and more.

He liked to travel. It wasn’t the travel itself that he liked, but the opportunity to visit gardens in different places. Kohtake always arranged to take her holidays at the same time as him so that they could go together. He would complain and say he was going for work, but that didn’t bother her. While on a trip, his brow seemed permanently furrowed, but she knew that this was how he looked whenever he was doing something he liked.

Even as his illness progressed, he didn’t stop travelling, but he did start visiting the same destination over and over again.

After a while the illness began to affect their daily lives. He often forgot that he had bought things. More and more often, there would be days when he would ask, ‘Who bought this?’ and then spend the rest of the day in a bad mood. They lived in the apartment they had moved to after getting married, but he began not coming home and she would frequently get calls from the police. Then about six months ago, he started calling her by her maiden name, Kohtake.

Finally the dizzy sensation of rippling and shimmering faded. Kohtake opened her eyes. She saw the slowly rotating ceiling fan… her hands, and her feet. She was no longer steam.

However, she didn’t know whether she had actually gone back in time. The cafe had no windows and the lighting was always dim. Unless one looked at a watch, there was no way of knowing whether it was day or night. The three solid-looking clocks on the wall all showed completely different times.

But something was different. Kazu had vanished. Kei was nowhere to be seen either. Kohtake tried to calm herself, but she was unable to stop her heart from beating faster and faster. She once again looked around the cafe.

‘There’s no one here,’ she muttered. The absence of Fusagi, who she had gone back to meet, was a huge disappointment.

She looked at the ceiling fan in a daze and considered her plight.

It was a shame, but perhaps it was for the best. Actually, in some ways she was relieved. Of course she wanted to read the letter. But she couldn’t help feeling guilty that she was sneaking a peek, so to speak. Fusagi would have surely been cross to learn that she had come from the future to read what he had written.

It wasn’t as if anything she did would change the present anyway. It didn’t matter if she never read it. If by reading it his condition would somehow improve, then of course she would – she would give her life for that. But the letter had nothing to do with his condition. It wouldn’t change the fact that he had forgotten her, either.

She coolly and rationally considered her predicament. Just earlier, she had the shock of him asking her whether they’d met before. It had really upset her. She had known this time would come, but it still caught her off balance, and brought her here.

She was beginning to feel more composed.

If this was the past, then it held nothing of use. I should return to the present. Even if I am just a stranger to Fusagi, I can be his nurse. I must do what I can. She remembered her heart’s resolve and reaffirmed it.

‘I doubt it’s a love letter,’ she muttered to herself as she reached out for the cup of coffee.

Someone had entered the cafe. To enter this cafe, one has to descend stairs from the ground level, and go in through a large door about two metres high, made out of solid wood. It’s when this door opens that the bell sounds, but the visitor does not immediately appear at the entrance, as a small patch of flooring must be crossed first. Once the bell rings, there is a time lag of a few seconds before the visitor takes those one or two steps and enters the cafe.

So when the bell rang, Kohtake had no idea who had come in. Was it Nagare? Or Kei? She noticed how nervous the suspense was making her. Her heart was racing in excitement. It wasn’t the kind of thing she normally did – a once in a lifetime experience, to be exact. If it was Kei, she would probably ask me why. Kazu, on the other hand, would just probably deliver her usual customer service… that would probably be a disappointment.

Kohtake played out various scenarios in her mind. But the person who appeared was neither Kei nor Kazu. Standing in the doorway was Fusagi.

‘Oh…’ Kohtake said. His sudden appearance had taken her by surprise. It was him she had come back to see, but she hadn’t been expecting him to walk into the cafe right then.

He was wearing a navy polo shirt and beige knee-length shorts. It was what he often wore on his days off. It must have been hot outside, as he was fanning himself with his black zippered portfolio.

She sat unmoving in her chair. He stood at the entrance for a while, staring at her with an odd look.

‘Hi there,’ she began.

She felt clueless as to how she was going to broach what she had come to talk about. He had never stared at her like this. Not since they met – let alone since they had been married. It was both flattering and embarrassing.

She had formed a hazy image of three years ago but she didn’t know how to make sure that that was where she was. Maybe she hadn’t imagined it right, and if that was the case, what was to say that by some mistake she’d got the three right, but she had only returned to three days ago? Just when she began to think she might have been too vague…

‘Oh hello. I didn’t expect to see you here,’ he said matter-of-factly.

Fusagi sounded like he had before he became ill. He was as she had pictured him – that is to say, he was how she remembered him.

‘I was waiting, but you didn’t come home,’ he added.

He looked away from her gaze. He coughed nervously with a furrowed brow, as if uncomfortable with something.

‘So it’s really you?’ she said.

‘Huh?’

‘You know who I am?’

‘What?’ He looked at her with bemusement.

But she was, of course, not joking. She had to make sure. It was obvious that she had returned to the past. But when? Before or after the onset of the Alzheimer’s?

‘Just say my name,’ she said.

‘Are you going to stop messing with me?’ he spat out crossly.

Though he hadn’t answered the question, she smiled with relief. ‘No, it’s OK,’ she said, shaking her head a little.

This short exchange told her everything she needed to know. She had definitely gone back. The Fusagi standing before her was Fusagi from before he had lost his memory. And if the image she pictured had worked, it was the Fusagi of three years ago. Kohtake smiled as she gave her coffee an unnecessary stir.

Fusagi observed Kohtake and her peculiar behaviour. ‘You’re acting a bit strange today,’ he said, looking around the cafe, as if he had just realized no one else was there.

‘Nagare, you here?’ he called to the kitchen.

With no reply, he went behind the counter, flapping his setta sandals as he walked. He peeked into the back room, but no one was there.

‘That’s odd. No one’s here,’ he grumbled. He sat down on the counter seat furthest away from Kohtake.

She coughed on purpose to get his attention. He looked at her, fed up.

‘What is it?’

‘Why are you sitting there?’

‘Why not? What’s stopping me?’

‘Why not come and sit here?’

She rapped on the table to beckon him to sit in the empty seat facing her. But he winced at the idea.

‘No. I’m fine,’ he replied.

‘Oh, come on now… Why not?’

‘A mature married couple, sitting down together like that… nah,’ Fusagi said, a little crossly. The crevice between his brows deepened. He was dismissive of the idea, but when his brow furrowed in that way, it wasn’t that he was displeased. On the contrary, it was a sign that he was in a good mood.

She knew all too well it was meant to conceal his embarrassment.

‘True. We’re a married couple,’ she agreed, smiling. She was so happy to hear the word couple from his lips.

‘Ugh… Don’t be so sentimental…’

Now anything he said brought back waves of nostalgia… and happiness. She absent-mindedly sipped the coffee.

‘Uh-oh,’ she said out loud, as she realized how much the coffee had cooled. It suddenly dawned on her how limited her time there was. She had to do what she had to do before it went completely cold.

‘Look, there’s something I need to ask you.’

‘What? What is it?’

‘Is there anything… anything you want to hand me?’

Kohtake’s heart started racing. Fusagi had written it before the onset of his illness, it may have been a love letter. Totally impossible… she was telling herself. But if it were… Her wish to read it was now running wild, reassured by the fact that no matter what she did, the present would not change.

‘What?’

‘About this by this…’

She drew the size of the envelope in the air using her fingers, just as Kazu had shown her. Her direct approach provoked alarm in his face, as he glared at her, completely motionless. I’ve blown it, she thought on seeing his expression. She remembered that something similar had happened soon after they were married.

Fusagi had a present ready to give her for her birthday. On the day before, by accident, she saw it among his belongings. Never before having received a present from him, she was overjoyed at the prospect of receiving this first gift. On the day of her birthday, when he had returned home from work, she was so excited that she asked him, ‘Don’t you have something special for me today?’ But on hearing this, he went very quiet. ‘No, nothing in particular,’ he said. The next day, she found her present in the bin. It was the lilac handkerchief.

She felt she had repeated the same mistake. He hated being told to do something that he had been meaning to do himself. Now she feared that even if he was carrying the letter, he would never give it to her – especially if it was a love letter. She regretted her carelessness even more so because time was of the essence. He still looked alarmed. She smiled at him.

‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean anything. Please forget it,’ she said in a light-hearted way. Then to emphasize that it didn’t really matter to her either way, she tried to make small talk. ‘Hey, I just thought: why don’t we do sukiyaki tonight?’

It was his favourite dish. He seemed to be in a sulky mood, but this usually lifted his spirits.

She slowly reached for the cup and felt the temperature of the coffee with her palm. It was still OK. She still had time. She could cherish these precious moments with him. She wanted to forget the letter for the time being. Judging by his reaction, he definitely had written her something. If he hadn’t, he would have responded in no uncertain terms, ‘What on earth are you talking about?’ If she allowed the current situation to play out, he would end up throwing the letter away. She decided to change strategy. She would try to alter his mood to prevent a repeat of what happened on her birthday.

She looked at him. His face was still serious. But then again, it was always like that. He never wanted her to think that just by hearing sukiyaki his mood instantly lifted. He wasn’t that straightforward. This was Fusagi before Alzheimer’s. Even his sulky face was precious to her. It was bliss to be with him again now. But she had read the situation wrongly.

‘Oh, I get it. I see what’s happening,’ he said, with a gloomy look. He got up from the counter and walked over to stand in front of her.

‘What do you mean?’ she asked, looking up at him. He was striking an imposing stance as he glared back at her. ‘What’s wrong?’ She hadn’t seen him like this before.

‘You’re from the future… aren’t you?’

‘What?’

What he had just said could be considered crazy. But he was right – she had come from the future.

‘Er. Now, look…’ She was racking her brains trying to remember whether there was a rule that said, When you go back in time, you cannot reveal that you are from the future. But none existed.

‘Look, I can explain—’

‘I thought it was strange that you were sitting in that seat.’

‘Yes… well.’

‘So that means you know about my illness.’

She felt her heart start racing again. She thought she had been transported back to a time before his disease – but she was wrong. The Fusagi standing before her knew he was ill.

Just from looking at his clothes, she could tell it was summertime. She had been transported back to the summer of two years ago – the time when he began losing his way, when she began noticing the telltale signs of his illness. If she had gone back by as little as a year, her conversation with him would have become muddled by now.

Rather than three years ago, she had returned to the day that met with the criteria she had imagined: a day when Fusagi had not forgotten her… a day when he was thinking of passing her the letter… and a day when he brought it with him to the cafe. To have gone back three years would have meant that he had not yet written the letter.

The Fusagi standing before her knew he was ill, and so it was likely that the content of the letter concerned his disease. Also, the way he reacted with such dread when she mentioned the letter seemed further evidence.

‘You know, don’t you?’ he said forcefully, pressing her to give an answer. She couldn’t see how she could lie at this stage. She nodded silently.

‘I see,’ he muttered.

She regained her composure. OK, whatever I do here, it’s not going to change the present. But it might upset him… I never would have returned to the past if I thought that might happen. How embarrassing that I was all caught up in the idea of it being a love letter.

She felt deep, deep regret for coming back. But now was not the time to be wallowing. He had gone silent.

‘My love?’ she called out to the despondent-looking Fusagi.

She had never seen him looking so depressed. It was heart-wrenching. He suddenly turned his back on her and walked back towards the counter where he had been sitting. He picked up the black portfolio. From it, he pulled a brown envelope and walked back to her. His face showed no signs of wretchedness or desperation; he looked more embarrassed than anything else.

He began to mumble in a throaty voice that was difficult to hear.

‘The “you” living in this time doesn’t know about my illness…’

He might be under that impression. But ‘I’ already know, or will very soon.

‘I just don’t know how to tell you…’

He held up the brown envelope to show her. He was planning to tell her that he had Alzheimer’s in this letter.

But I don’t need to read it… I already know. It would make more sense to give it to me in the past. The ‘me’ that Fusagi can’t bring himself to give it to… I guess if he can’t pass it to that version of me, it’s OK that I take it. That’s just the way things are.

She decided to leave while things were as they were at that moment. She didn’t want the subject of his illness to be broached. The worst-case scenario was him asking about his condition in the present. If he asked how his condition progressed, who knows how he would take the awful news. She should return before he asked. Now was the time to return to the present…

The coffee was now at a temperature that she could down it in one go.

‘I can’t let the coffee go cold,’ she said and brought the cup close to her mouth.

‘So I forget? I forget you?’ he mumbled, looking down.

Hearing this, she was overwhelmed by confusion. She didn’t even know why there was a coffee cup in front of her.

She looked at him in trepidation. Staring at him, she noticed how forlorn his expression was now. She had never imagined that he could look that way. Lost for words, she couldn’t even maintain eye contact and found herself casting her eyes down.

By giving no reply, she had answered his question with a yes.

‘I see. I feared as much,’ he murmured sadly. He bowed his head so deeply his neck looked like it might break.

Her eyes welled with tears. After being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, he had struggled each day with the dread and anxiety of losing his memory. Yet she, his wife, had not seen how he had borne these thoughts and feelings alone. On learning that she had come from the future, the first thing he had wanted to know was whether he had forgotten her, his wife. This realization filled her with both joy and sorrow.

It gave her the strength to look him in the face, without wiping away her tears. She smiled broadly at him so he might interpret her tears as those of joy.

‘Actually, your illness does get better, you know.’

(As a nurse, now is the time I need to be strong.)

‘In fact, you in the future told me.’

(I can say anything without changing the present.)

‘How you did have anxious moments…’

(What does it hurt if I lie? If I can relieve his anxiety, even if it’s just for a moment, it’s worth it…)

She wanted so much for her lie to be believed, she would do anything. She had a lump in her throat. Tears streamed down her face. But maintaining her beaming smile, she continued.

‘It will be all right.’

(It will be all right!)

‘You recover.’

(You recover!)

‘Don’t worry.’

(You recover… Really!)

Every word she spoke, she delivered with all her strength. In her mind, it wasn’t a lie. Even if he had forgotten who she was… Even if nothing she did changed the present. He looked her straight in the eyes and she looked right back at him, her face streaming with tears.

He looked happy. ‘Oh really?’ he said in a soft whisper.

‘Yes,’ she said.

He looked at her in the gentlest of ways. Looking down at the brown envelope he was holding in his hands, he slowly approached her. The distance between them was now such that a letter might be handed from one to the other.

‘Here,’ he said. Like a shy child, he offered her the brown envelope he was holding.

She tried to push the letter away. ‘But you get better,’ she said.

‘Then you can throw it out,’ he said, handing her the letter more forcefully. His tone was different from his normal gruff self. He spoke with such gentleness that it gave her the odd feeling that she must have missed something.

He once again pressed the brown envelope on her. Her trembling hands reached out and nervously took it. She wasn’t really sure of his intentions.

‘Drink up. Your coffee will go cold,’ he said, acknowledging the rules. The kindness in his smile seemed infinite.

She nodded. It was just a small nod. With no words left, she reached for the coffee.

Once she had her hands firmly on the cup, he turned his back.

It was as if their time as a couple had reached its end. A large tear began to form in her eye.

‘My love,’ she cried out without thinking. He did not turn round. His shoulders appeared to be trembling ever so slightly. While watching his back, she drank the coffee in one go. She drank it in one gulp, not out of a sense of urgency that the coffee was about to go cold, but rather out of respect for Fusagi, whose gentle back was turned to ensure she could quickly and safely return to the present. Such was the depth of his kindness.

‘My darling.’

She felt overcome by a shimmering and rippling sensation. She returned the cup to its saucer. As her hand drew back, it seemed to dissolve into steam. All that was left to do was to return to the present. This fleeting moment, when they had once more been together as husband and wife, had ended.

Suddenly, he turned round – a reaction, perhaps, to the sound of her cup hitting the saucer. She didn’t know how he could make her out, but he seemed to be able to see her there. As her consciousness flickered and dissipated into the steam, she saw his lips move a little.

Unless she was mistaken, he seemed to be saying, ‘Thank you.’

Her consciousness had merged with the steam, and she had begun the transition from past to present. The cafe around her began to fast-forward. She could do nothing to stem the flow of her tears. In a blink, she realized Kazu and Kei had reappeared in her field of vision. She had returned to the present – the day that he had completely forgotten her. One look at her expression was enough to fill Kei’s face with worry.

‘The letter?’ she asked. Letter, not love letter.

She dropped her gaze to the brown envelope she’d been given by Fusagi in the past. She slowly removed the letter from the envelope.

It was written in basic script, all squiggly like crawling worms. It was definitely Fusagi’s handwriting. As Kohtake read the letter, she held her right hand to her mouth to stop the sobbing as her tears fell.

So sudden was her outburst of tears that Kazu was worried. ‘Kohtake… are you OK?’ she asked.

Kohtake’s shoulders began to shudder, and gradually she began wailing, louder and louder. Kazu and Kei stood there looking at her, unsure of what to do. After a while, she handed Kazu the letter.

Kazu took the letter, and, as if looking for permission, she looked at Kei behind the counter. Kei nodded slightly with a grave expression.

Kazu looked back at the tearful Kohtake and then began to read out loud.

When Kazu finished reading, Kohtake and Kei looked up at the ceiling and began to cry loudly. Kohtake understood why Fusagi had handed this letter to her, his wife from the future. From the letter, it was clear that he had guessed what she would do after she found out about his illness. And then, when he came from the future, it became clear to him that, just as he predicted, in the future she was caring for him like a nurse.

Amid the anxiety and fear of losing his memory, he was hoping that she would continue to be his wife. She was always in his heart.

There was more proof of this to be found. Even after losing his memory, he could content himself by looking at travel magazines, opening his notebook, and jotting something down. She had once looked at what he wrote. He had been listing the destinations that he had travelled to in order to visit gardens. She had simply assumed his actions were a hangover from his love of his work as a landscape gardener. But she was wrong. The destinations he made a note of were all the places that he had visited with her. She didn’t notice at the time. She couldn’t see. These notes were the last hand-hold for Fusagi, who was gradually forgetting who she was.

Of course, that she had looked after him as a nurse didn’t feel like a mistake to her. She had believed that it was for the best. And he didn’t write the letter to blame her in any way either. It seemed to her that he knew that her talk about him getting healed was a lie, but it was a lie he wanted to believe. Otherwise, she thought, he wouldn’t have said ‘thank you’.

After her crying had stopped, the woman in the dress returned from the toilet, stood in front of her and spoke just one word.

‘Move!’ she said in a low voice.

‘Sure,’ she said, leaping up and relinquishing the seat.

The woman in the dress’s reappearance was impeccably timed, coinciding with a switch in Kohtake’s mood. Eyes swollen from crying, she looked at Kazu and Kei. She held up the letter that Kazu had just read, and waved it.

‘So there you have it,’ she said with a grin.

Kei responded by nodding, her round bright eyes still streaming tears like a waterfall.

‘What have I been doing?’ Kohtake mumbled, looking at the letter.

‘Kohtake,’ Kei sniffled, looking worried.

Kohtake neatly folded the letter and returned it to the envelope. ‘I’m going home,’ she said, in a bold, confident voice.

Kazu gave a small nod. Kei was still sniffing. Kohtake looked at the still-teary Kei, who had cried longer than she had. She smiled as she thought that Kei must be getting pretty dehydrated, and let out a deep breath. No longer looking lost, she seemed empowered. She pulled out her purse from her shoulder bag on the counter and handed Kazu 380 yen in coins.

‘Thanks,’ she said.

With a calm expression, Kazu returned her smile.

Kohtake gave a quick nod and walked towards the entrance. She stepped lightly. She was in a hurry to see Fusagi’s face.

She passed through the doorway and out of sight.

‘Ah!’ she said and doubled back into the cafe. Kazu and Kei looked at her enquiringly.

‘One more thing,’ she said. ‘Starting tomorrow, no more calling me by my maiden name, OK?’

She grinned broadly.

It was Kohtake who originally requested that she be called by her maiden name. When Fusagi had started calling her Kohtake, she wanted to avoid confusion. But such consideration was not necessary now. A smile returned to Kei’s face and her bright eyes opened widely.

‘OK, got you,’ she said happily.

‘Tell everyone else too,’ said Kohtake, and without waiting for a reply, she waved and left.

‘OK,’ said Kazu, as if speaking to herself, and put the money from Kohtake in the till.

Kei cleaned away the cup that Kohtake had drunk from and went into the kitchen to get a refill for the woman in the dress. The clank, clank sound of the keys of the cash register reverberated through the cool room. The ceiling fan continued to rotate silently. Kei returned and poured a new coffee for the woman in the dress. ‘We appreciate your presence again this summer,’ she whispered.

The woman in the dress continued to read her novel and did not reply. Kei placed her hand on her own stomach and smiled.

Summer was just getting started.