Chapter 9
Raine's words sent another tremor of raw emotion through him. He was jacked up and out of control tonight, his armor suddenly cracked. The grisly details of his past were nobody's else's goddamn business, but the words had just fallen out of him. She was the one with almost no clothes on, but he was the one who felt naked.
He splayed his fingers around the yielding softness of her waist and tried to remember if he'd ever discussed his hard-luck childhood with any of his other women. It wasn't much of a turn-on, as conversational topics went. Seemed to work for Raine, though. There was always the possibility that she was pumping him for info for Lazar, but when he looked at her shadowy eyes, her soft, trembling mouth, he doubted it.
Her hands were so gentle, petting his face. It distracted him.
“OK,” he muttered, trying to gather his thoughts. “So one day I'm burgling this guy's house, and he pops up out of nowhere and sticks a Para-Ordnance PI4-45 in the back of my neck. Turns out he was a retired cop, a guy named Hank Yates. He roughed me up a little, just to teach me a lesson, and he started to haul me down to the station—”
His throat closed down. He swallowed, and stopped. He couldn't go into how Hank had grabbed him by the scruff of the neck to shove him into the car, and realized that the smart-mouthed, thieving kid was burning with fever and coughing up blood. In the end, he'd taken Seth to the emergency room instead of to juvie, where he'd been diagnosed with pneumonia brought on by untreated bronchitis. When he recovered, the gruff, self-righteous old bastard had felt so bad about having smacked a sick kid around that he'd taken it upon himself to rescue Seth from a life of crime. God, how embarrassing.
What a royal pain in the ass that had been. Hank had been a stiff-necked authoritarian, a solitary widower who had long ago alienated his own grown children. He and Seth had clashed violently at first, but after a very stormy period, they had both recognized that they needed each other. Hank had meant well, and in his own way, Seth was grateful to him. Particularly because with Hank's help, Seth had been able to make sure that Jesse got a fighting chance, too.
At least until ten months ago.
Raine was patiently waiting, still stroking his face. He struggled to remember at what point he had left her stranded in the tar-pit of his childhood. “Where was I?” he demanded.
“Hank was about to take you to the station,” she reminded gently.
“Oh. Right. Well, he didn't. He decided to straighten me out instead, and after a while, I decided to let him do it. I was just smart enough to realize that there wasn't much of a future in my lifestyle.”
“Yes?” she prompted. “So?”
“It's a long story, but basically he just bullied me and hassled me into getting my GED. Then he bullied and hassled some more until I ended up in the Army. Hank was an Army man.”
God, it had been so long since he let himself think about all this stuff. His brain was churning out memories all on its own, like watching an old movie. He could actually hear Hank's gruff voice.
“Come on, kid, where else are you gonna learn that tech stuff that you like? They'll help put you through school, too. Can't beat that. Got eighty thousand bucks stashed in a mattress someplace to go to Stanford? Got any rich relatives? Gonna rob a bank? No. Stop. Don't answer that.”
But Seth was already grinning. “Bet I could, you know.”
“That ain't funny, kid.”
“Who's joking? Who's laughing? “
He shook himself again. This weird inability to concentrate was pissing him off. “Where the hell was I?” he snapped.
“The Army,” she reminded him.
“Oh. The Army. Yeah, they made me take all the tests, and figured out that I actually had a brain underneath all that attitude. They sent me to Rangers school, and I ended up in the 75th Rangers regiment. And bam, I was hooked. I did my time investigating threats to national security. Counter-intelligence, antiterrorism, antiespionage, you name it The discipline was pure hell on earth, but I knew if I was a good boy they would let me play with their toys. It was actually worth it to me. So I stuck with it.”
“Good for you.” She kissed his forehead.
He grabbed her wrists, gripping them hard enough to make her squeak. “Get this straight, Raine. Fm not telling you about my childhood to make you feel sorry for me, because I don't feel sorry for myself. I'm telling you for two reasons. The first is because lying is a big waste of time.”
She hesitated. “I agree.”
“Good. I'm real glad we're on the same page with that one. The second reason I'm telling you my life story is because, if I understood correctly, you won't have sex with me again until I do. And I want to have sex with you again. Soon. Right here, in fact. You cool with that?”
A tremor went through her body, but she didn't pull away. “Um, yes,” she said softly.
“OK,” he muttered. He let go of her hands and seized her waist again. “I wanted that to be perfectly clear. No more misunderstandings.”
“Crystal clear.” She gave him an encouraging nod. “Go on.”
His hands slid down and settled on the swell of her hip. “So to make a boring story short, I ended up serving part time in the Reserves. I enrolled at UCLA on the GI bill. Got some scholarships, scraped together the tuition somehow. Got a degree in electronic engineering, teamed up with some other egghead geeks, and Mackey Security Systems Design was born. My status as an ex-thief gives me a unique edge when it comes to designing surveillance and countersurveillance systems security, but I don't tell potential clients that. I play up the Rangers angle instead. It tends to inspire more confidence. So I'd appreciate it if you kept it to yourself.”
Her shadowy, appreciative smile made his cock pulse and throb painfully. He had to wrap this up and get back to seducing her before he exploded. 'There it is, babe,” he concluded. “My life story. I'm damaged goods, but I can fake it when I have to. Money covers up a lot of warts.”
She cuddled up against him. “You're very cynical.”
He snorted. “Yeah.” He splayed his hands wide and gripped the warm, smooth cheeks of her beautiful bare ass. “So? Anything else you need to know about me before I make you come again?”
She twisted in his arms, and her soft breasts pressed against his chest as she hugged him, kissing his jaw. “I'm so sorry about your mother,” she murmured, her voice catching.
He turned his face away from her soft kisses. “Don't feel sorry for me, because I'll take advantage of it, I promise you,” he said roughly. “I'm an opportunistic bastard, and don't you ever forget it.”
She leaned her forehead against his, and shook with a whispery little laugh. “If you're so opportunistic, then why are you warning me?” “Damned if I know” he muttered. “somebody’s got to, I guess.”
She was so intent on her questions that she barely noticed that he'd tugged her leggings completely off and was peeling off her socks. “Are you still in touch with Hank?” she asked.
“Hank died five years ago. Liver cancer.” He tossed her discarded clothes to the floor.
“I'm sorry” she said. “So now—isn't there any family out there for you? An aunt, or uncle, a grandparent? Nobody?”
He hesitated. “No.”
“But... there did used to be someone?” Her voice trailed off into a questioning silence.
His split-second hesitation had been a mistake. She was quick and smart, and listening so carefully that she had sensed the ragged black hole inside him where Jesse used to be. The one place he was utterly unwilling to go.
Diversion time.
He seized her ankles and placed them on the seat, pushing her back until she was crouched in front of him, thighs splayed He leaned against her, pressing her thighs even wider. “Story time is over for today, sweetheart.”
Her head fell back against the seat with a breathless gasp. She lifted her hips, offering herself to him. His leather coat creaked in the hushed darkness as he hunched over to suckle her breasts. She reached up and clutched his jacket, gasping as he slid his finger tenderly inside her, stretching and opening her. “Are you sore?” he asked. “I was pretty rough on you yesterday.”
“I'm all right.” Raine gripped the front of his sweater and moved herself against his hand. “I love what you do to me. Please don't stop.”
“How about my offer?” He played with her sensitive folds, in sync with the eager movements of her hips, spreading her moisture tenderly around. “You going to blow off Lazar and come away with me?”
Subtle sounds were loud in the stillness of the can unbuckling his belt, the buttons popping open on his jeans, the rustle as he ripped open a condom and fitted it over himself.
Her fists were trembling, clenching hard onto his sweater. “I don't need a protector, Seth,” she whispered. “I can take care of myself.”
She let out a sharp sigh at the first blunt, probing contact of his cock. He nudged the head of his shaft tenderly up and down her cleft in a slow, controlled caress. “That's not how it looks to me, sweetheart.”
Her hips pulsed against him, but he held her still, pinning her against the seat, circling his penis around her swollen clit Making her squirm and whimper and wait, until they were both sure she wanted it as much as he did. He wanted there to be absolutely no doubt.
“It sounds like you're saying I should be protected from you.” She let out a nervous little laugh as he lifted her into position.
He nudged his cock slightly deeper as he captured her mouth in a hot, demanding kiss. He bit her lush lower lip, and slid his tongue into her mouth, mimicking the shallow, teasing thrusts he was making with his hips. “Yeah, you probably should be protected from the likes of me,” he said, not even bothering to hide the dark triumph in his voice. “But you're not, Raine. And you know what?”
“What?” she begged, pulling at him, her eyes dazed. “What?”
“That's just your tough luck, babe.”
He thrust himself inside her with one deep, hard lunge.
She almost screamed. He was so thick and hard and hot, the rough penetration both exciting and painful. He'd been right, she was sore from yesterday's encounter, but so aroused that she hadn't wanted to risk him stopping, or slowing, or holding back in any way.
She wanted all of him, everything. She needed it, now and forever. Only Seth had the power to drive away her fears. Only this white-hot blaze of pure desire would do the job.
She grasped his upper arms, but they were too thick with muscle and slippery with stiff leather to get a good grip, so she seized fistfuls of his sweater again. First she was upright, pinned between him and the sweat-dampened leather seat. Then he shoved her down onto her back and folded her legs up over her chest so that his thrusts had his whole weight behind them.
The world focused down to this cramped seat and Seth's heaving body. He blotted out all the light and sealed her into a tumultuous velvet darkness. Cars passed occasionally, their lights dancing erratically across Seth’s rigid face. She barely noticed, and did not care. All she knew was his weight, his breath, his strong hands, the plunge and slide of his thick shaft inside her. The fire he had unleashed stormed and raged inside her, driving her higher and deeper into herself. She was glowing, molten, hotter with every stroke.
He took all she had to give, but he was generous too, pouring a current of sexual electricity into her body, transforming her with his magic. It was ravishing, perfect. She wanted it to last forever, but they were already speeding over the brink together, crashing to the finish.
As soon as Raine could form a coherent thought, she realized that her throat hurt. She had been yelling and screaming. She wondered if anyone had heard, and realized that she didn't give a damn.
They clutched each other for a long time, damp and panting. “God,” Seth finally said. “I'm soaked.”
She kissed his forehead, tasting his salty sweat against her lips. “Should have taken off your jacket, silly.”
“Didn't think of it”
She tightened her arms and legs around him, cuddling him against her breasts and stroked Ms damp hair. He heaved a sigh of contentment, and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to impress the moment of perfect intimacy upon her memory. She wished she could extend it to infinity, but reality was encroaching, the way cold air crept under even the warmest blanket.
He dropped a kiss on her shoulder and raised his head. “Go pack a suitcase. I'll take you to a hotel for now, but I'll rent something for you as soon as real estate agencies open. What part of town do you prefer?”
She stiffened. “Wait, Seth. Hold on. I don't think—”
“Don't think what?” His voice was sharp.
“I don't think I'm cut out to be a mistress.”
“OK, fine. Forget about being my mistress. Come with me anyway. Be whatever the hell you want. You can find your own apartment. And you can find a better job in ten minutes. Pack your bags now, though. It'll be dawn soon, and this neighborhood is about to wake up.”
His words indicated that her decision was foregone, but his watchful stillness said otherwise. He waited, his penis still shoved deep inside her. She wiggled beneath him. She could barely move.
If she went with him now, and let him claim her, protect her, define her whole existence, she would be just as pinned. Just as helpless. He was overwhelming.
It was so tempting. She wanted to laugh at the irony. From a famine to a glutton's feast. Frontwards, backwards, sideways, up against the wall, in the shower. She saw herself sprawled beneath Seth's big, beautiful body, having multiple orgasms until she was lost in bliss. What a day job that would be. She could tell the ghosts of her past that she'd had no choice. Sorry, guys. Never mind the quest for truth and justice. She'd been swept off her feet and right onto her back.
No, she couldn't get off that easily. Seth couldn't protect her against what was inside her own head. Her nightmares, her past, her destiny. Nobody could save her but herself.
She looked into his narrowed eyes, sensing how badly he wanted to protect her. It brought hot tears to her eyes. She tightened her arms around his neck and kissed him in silent gratitude.
“I'm sorry, Seth. I can't go with you,” she said. Tension gathered in his body as he readied to do battle. “No,” she said, more sharply. “No means no, Seth. I can't quit my job right now. And I can't go with you. Thank you for offering to help me, but no.”
The tenderness on his face had vanished. It was taut and angry. “Why not?”
She touched his cheek, wishing with all her heart that she dared to confide in him. “I have my reasons “ she said quietly.
He flinched away from her hand and withdrew himself from her body. He closed his jeans and rummaged around, gathering her things. He tossed the tangled wad of clothing at her. “Get decent”
She clutched them to her chest, chilled at the biting tone in his voice. “Is that all you have to say?”
“If I beg like a dog, will it change your mind?”
She shook her head.
“Then get to it. I have work to do.”
“At three in the morning?”
“Yeah.” He offered no further explanation.
She began to turn her clothes right-side out and pull them on. Sweat was cooling on her body, making it harder. He waited, grim and silent, until the laces were tied and the zippers zipped. He snapped the locks open and got out of the car. “Out you go.”
“Seth—-”
He reached in, grabbing her arm and pulling her after him. “You've got your house keys?” he demanded. “Let me see them.”
She fished them out of her pocket, shivering in the cold.
“Go on inside. I want to see the door locked before I leave.”
He got into the car, and she stood there on the street, frozen in place. Her legs shook so hard that she didn't dare move. She was afraid she would fall on her face. The motor hummed to life. His window rolled down. “Get your ass into the house, Raine.”
His harsh tone jarred her nerves. “Don't order me around, Seth.”
“If I have to carry you in there, I will, but be aware that it is going to seriously piss me off.”
She backed away, holding up her hands, unable to bear the cold look on his face any longer. She scurried into the house, locked the door behind herself, and peeked out the window. He saw her, nodded, and pulled away. She watched his taillights disappear down the street.
She sank down onto the carpet. Her shoulders shook, but with what emotion she wasn't sure. The situation seemed to call for tears, but she had cried so much recently, she was all cried out
Then it occurred to her that after all the passion and intensity of that encounter, he still hadn't given her his phone number.
She had to laugh after all.