Bightmares

Chapter Eighteen

They were on Mars for three days before Emi found time to get away from the Tamora Bight. She knew her men would be busy with maintenance, cargo, and official duties that afternoon. She told Aaron she was going shopping and kissed them good-bye. Before she left, she stopped by the galley, found the thermal bag, carafe, and brewed a batch of mint tea.

It wasn’t hard to find her way back to the memorial dome. She found Kelsey’s name on the list and took a beacon from the front information booth. Emi easily made her way to the marker. The park setting hadn’t changed much since their last visit. As she approached, the crystal geode glowed as it had before.

Sitting next to it, she pulled out the carafe of mint tea and two cups she’d brought. She poured tea into both, set one on the ground next to the geode, and hoisted the other one.

“I worried for a little while there, Kels,” Emi said aloud. No one around to hear her, she might as well say it. “I was afraid I would lose him.” She studied the crystal marker. All that physically remained of a vibrant, loving woman who’d left a lifelong impression on her men. The only reason Emi was with them now, when she thought about it and condensed the history to its starting point, lay squarely in the lap of a vengeful, vindictive man who fathered an equally vengeful and vindictive son.

“I know you died loving them. You died because you loved them, but it wasn’t their fault or yours, and I know you knew that.”

Emi sipped her tea. “They still love you. I’ll never replace you in their hearts, and I know that, too. There will always be part of them that loves you. I’m okay with that. Because I’ll be honest with you, I feel guilty. I feel guilty that I get to love them and you only had a couple of years with—”

“You shouldn’t feel guilty.”

Emi nearly screamed at the sound of the woman’s voice. She turned and saw Delaney standing there. Emi laughed as her racing heart slowed to a more normal pace. “Jesus, you scared me!”

Delaney smiled and stepped forward. “Sorry about that. Mind if I join you?”

Emi scooted over a little. Delaney gave her a quick hug before settling on the ground next to her. After thinking about it, Emi handed the other cup to her.

“The boys do this. I thought I’d come by myself. A little decompression.”

Delaney smiled as she took a sip of the tea. “Ford would turn himself inside out trying to make sure he got her mint tea for her on every resupply stop. She loved it.”

“I believe it. He’s good like that.”

“I meant it. You shouldn’t feel guilty. You’re a doctor, you should know that.”

Emi took another sip of tea. “Physician, heal thyself. I can talk the talk, but walking the walk is a little different. Textbooks are fine, but they don’t really prepare you for stuff like this.”

“You’ve healed them more than you can ever imagine. I know you didn’t get to meet them in real life before your sim session. Trust me when I say Aaron carried around a thick black cloud before he met you. I don’t know how you felt when you met him in the sim, but the twins will tell you. He rarely smiled, even then only a little, just for show. He rarely laughed. Never the deep, rolling laugh we heard that night you had dinner with us.”

The older woman nudged Emi. “You guys weren’t going to leave Mars without dropping by and having dinner, were you?” she teased.

“No, Mom. Of course not. Aaron said he would call you tonight.”

“Good.” They sat there in silence for a while. “How bad was it? The mission. I heard some of the basics on the news.”

“Bad.”

Delaney studied her. “They’ve healed you a lot too, haven’t they? I know it had to be hard thinking you were alone in the world, especially at such a young age and still in school.”

“I was alone in the world.”

“No, you just hadn’t met your new family yet.” She looked up at the dome’s ceiling. “I never thought I would lose her so young. I wasn’t even ready to be a grandmother yet, much less bury my only child. I didn’t want to let go of the boys. They were all I had left of her. Thank the gods they’ve humored me all these years.”

“They love you and Dad. You’re their family. You’re all they have left of her. You all need each other.”

They sat in companionable silence for a while. “Please don’t ever let them go,” Delaney softly said. “I don’t think they can lose twice like that in one life and survive it. Maybe Ford. Caph would want to die, and Aaron would blame himself.” She looked at Emi. “And I don’t want to lose another daughter.”

Emi hugged her. “I’m not going anywhere.”

The next evening, Emi and her men had dinner with Delaney and Markkus. The night after that, Emi and Donna abducted Sophie for a girls’ night out with Delaney.

“You know,” Sophie said with a grin, “I never thought I would have found a guy to make me want to stay in space. I thought I was ready to settle down and start a practice or at least get a job on a planet or space station somewhere. Who knew it would take three guys to make me want to stay a nomad?”

Emi laughed. “So, you lucky bitch, you escape the torture of the sim pairing.”

She nodded, her eyes wide. “I told Graymard after what I heard from you two and my guys that there was no frakking way he was getting my ass inside a sim unit.” She shuddered, then glanced at Emi and Donna. “Besides, I told him he definitely didn’t want me hitting him. I’ve had a lot of self-defense and hand-to-hand combat training. He’s liable to lose his head when I come out of that tube.”

Donna laughed. “So he’s willing to save his balls and take a chance on you guys being okay together.”

She shrugged. “Well, I’ve been in space before, seen a lot already. And if I wasn’t ready to kill those men of mine after four weeks cooped up with them in the BG, then I think it’s safe to say five years will be a cakewalk.” She grinned as she took a sip of her wine. “Maybe longer than that if I’m lucky.”

Delaney smiled. “So when do we plan your wedding?”

She held up her hands. “Not that fast. I did let them talk me into bonded crew status. I told them I’m in no hurry for a ring. Did that once, wasn’t worth the aggravation.”

The women looked at Donna.

“What?”

“We still need to have a proper wedding reception for you, girlfriend,” Emi said.

Donna grinned. “My mom is still pretty torqued she missed out on my wedding. I had an earful of messages waiting for me when we emerged from the jump.”

“How’s she feel about you having three husbands?” Sophie asked.

She shrugged. “She actually took that pretty well. Her rationale is she’s just tripled her chances to get grandkids.”

The women ate and talked and drank until the wee hours of the morning. Delaney remained sober and took them all home with her. In the morning, she had three heavily hungover doctors groaning over coffee at her kitchen table.

“Why did I drink that third margarita?” Emi groaned.

“Because you couldn’t finish the fourth and fifth ones until you did,” Donna snarked. “I want to know why the hell I thought it was a good idea to try to drink a bushel of appletinis.”

“Beats me,” Sophie muttered. “I never thought I would think chasing mojitos with beer was a great idea.”

When the front door chime sounded, the three women groaned. Delaney smiled. “Well, that’s someone to take you home.”

She returned with Ford a moment later. He wore an evil, beaming grin. “Good morning, ladies!” he brightly—and loudly—greeted them.

He received another round of groans in reply.

He kissed Emi on the top of the head. “Evening catch up with you, babe?”

“Uh huh.”

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Graymard says he wants us all in hearings this afternoon over the Aroykin incident.”

The three women groaned.

“Fucker tries to put me in a sim, I’ll kill him,” Sophie dangerously grumbled. “So help me, I fucking will.”

“I’ll make sure I warn him,” Ford snarked.