Amiranda crest started shaking when she saw the Dead Man. I'm used to him and tend to forget the impact he has on those who never have seen a dead Loghyr. Her cute little nose wrinkled. She whispered, "It smells in here."
Well, yes, it did, but not much, and I was used to that, too. I ignored the remark. "This is Amiranda Crest, who comes to us from the Stormwarden Raver Styx."
Please pardon me for not rising, Miss Crest. I am capable of mental prodigies, but self-levitation is not among them. Meantime, Amiranda blurted, "Oh, no. Not from the Stormwarden. She's in the Cantard. Her secretary, the Domina Willa Dount, sent me. I'm her assistant. She wants you to see her about something she wants you to do, Mr. Garrett. For the family. Discreetly."
"Then you're not going to tell me what it is?"
"I don't know what it is. I was told to give you a hundred marks, gold, and tell you there is a thousand more if you'll do the job. But the hundred is yours if you'll just come and see her."
She lies, Garrett. She knows what it is about.
He wasn't paying the rent with that. She had changed strategies while I was alerting the Dead Man. "That's all? Nothing to tell me why I'm sticking my neck out?"
She had begun counting ten-mark gold pieces into her left hand. I was startled. I'd never met anyone with fairy blood who was right-handed." Save yourself the trouble, Miss Crest. If that's it, I'll stay here and help my friend hustle cockroaches."
She thought I was joking. A man of my class turning his back on a hundred marks gold? A man in my line? I ought to be sprinting uptown to find out who they wanted killed. Chances were she had run uptown, bartering her good looks for the pretty things she wore.
She asked, "Couldn't you just take me on faith, and for the gold?"
"The last time I trusted somebody from up the Hill I got stuck in the Marines. I spent five years trying to kill Venageti conscripts who didn't know any better than I did what we were fighting about. I didn't figure that out till I came back home, and then I liked your lords and ladies of the Hill even less. Good day, Miss Crest. Unless you'd be interested in some more personal business? I know a little place that serves seafood you could kill for."
I watched her think it over, looking for angles she could use. Finally, she said, "Domina will be very angry with me if I don't bring you."
"How sad. But that's not my problem. If you don't mind? Your boys out front are probably baking in the sun, anyway."
She stomped out of the room, snarling, "You're throwing away the easiest hundred marks of your life, Mr. Garrett."
I followed her to make sure she used the door for its intended purpose. "If your boss wants to see me so bad, tell her to come down here."
She paused, opened her mouth to say something, then shook her head and slipped outside. I caught a glimpse of the sweltering guards jumping to their feet before the door closed. I went back to the Dead Man.
You were a little stubborn, were you not?
"She'll be back."
I know. But what temper will possess her?
"Maybe she'll be ready to lay it out straight, without the games."
She is a female, Garrett. Why do you persist in such unreasonable optimism where that alien species is concerned? This was one of our running arguments. He was a misogynist to the marrow. This time I refused to play. He gave up.
Are you interested in the job, Garrett?
"My heart won't be broken if it doesn't develop. You know I told the truth when I said I don't have much use for the lords of the Hill. And I particularly have no use for sorcerers. We don't need the money, anyway."
You always need money, Garrett, the way you drink beer and chase skirts.
He exaggerated, of course. His envy was talking. His single greatest regret about being dead was his inability to guzzle beer. Someone is hammering on the door.
"I hear it. It's probably old Dean, early for work."
The Dead Man would not endure a female housekeeper, and my tolerance for housework is minimal. I'd only been able to find one old man—who moved with the flash and style of a tortoise—willing to come in, pick up, cook, and clear the vermin from the Dead Man's room.
I was surprised to find Amiranda back already. "Quick trip. Come in. I didn't know I was so irresistible."
She strode past me, then turned, hands on hips. "All right, Mr. Garrett. You get it your way. The reason Domina wants you is because my... because the Stormwarden's son Karl has been kidnapped. If you insist on getting more than that, we're both out of luck. Because that's all I've been told."
And you certainly are worried about it, I thought.
She started for the door.
"Hold it." I squinted at her. "Give me the hundred."
She handed it over without a smirk of triumph. One point for Amiranda Crest. I decided she might be worth liking.
"I'll be back in a minute."
I took the gold to the Dead Man. There was no safer place on earth. "You heard?"
I did.
"What do you think?"
Kidnapping is your area of expertise.
I rejoined Amiranda Crest. "Let us fair forth, fair fairy lady."
That failed to put a smile on her face.
Not everyone appreciates a great sense of humor.