Blind Obsession

Chapter Ten ~ Armor

I make my way up to the studio after lunch.

He didn’t tell me to meet him there. He didn’t invite me to come. But, after what happened this morning, I now have a burning compulsion to see him to set things straight.

As I get the door of the familiar studio, I can hear music floating through the air. The violin definitely holds a new fascination for me, and I can see I am not alone. It is obvious it also pulls at Phillipe in a way that I still don’t quite comprehend.

Stepping across the threshold, I look around the room and spot him sitting on a stool behind the large canvas that is propped in its usual spot, up on the easel over by the window.

He hasn’t seen me yet, so I’m careful not to make any noise as I make my way farther into the room that is dappled by the sun’s rays.

I can see his feet resting on the floor. He’s taken off his shoes from this morning, and he’s rolled up the bottom of his jeans. His hair looks rumpled and disturbed, and his mouth is pulled into a serious line that makes his entire face look different. He appears annoyed, frustrated, and maybe even a little bit sad.

I know that I ruined whatever trust I had gained when I let my preconceived ideas and opinions of him take hold of me for just a millisecond this morning. Now, as I stand here, watching him move his brush across the smooth surface with his focus aimed intently on what he is doing, I can’t help but be disappointed in myself.

I am always objective in my job. I have never been one to let other people’s opinions influence the way I interview or talk to a potential witness or subject of a story. This morning, though when I had let previously reported stories feed my moment of doubt , I did, and in turn, I lost his trust. It’s now imperative that I regain it.

“I know you’re standing there, Gemma.” His somber voice floats across the silence.

Clasping my hands in front of myself, I make my way farther into the room. I stop behind the canvas, directly in his eye line.

For some reason, I feel the need to whisper. “I didn’t want to disturb you.”

He stops his brush stroke as his annoyed green eyes rise to meet mine over the top of the painting he is working on. “Well, you have.”

I grimace for a moment, telling myself not to let him intimidate me. I’m here to do a job. I can’t let an argument of a personal nature come between us. Us? Is there an us now?

Well, there is certainly a professional us. The other day there was a personal moment, but I cannot not let one, slight misunderstanding ruin my chance to tell this story. To take away my opportunity to know what happened, and to let the world know there was more to this tragedy than what we’d all been told. Or, at least, that is what I am hoping to discover.

“Well, I didn’t mean to. I just wanted to come and see when you next want to work on the piece.”

His eyes leave mine to focus back on what is in front of him.

“What are you working on?” I ask, trying to get him to talk to me. It becomes immediately obvious though that I’ve said the wrong thing.

“Nothing of importance.” He dismisses me coolly, placing the brush on the table beside him. “You want to ask me questions, Gemma? Sit and ask. I’m here, you’re here, and that’s all that’s required, correct?”

I clench my jaw, annoyed at his terse words. I make my way to the small desk I’ve been working at and pull out the chair. I turn it and sit, facing him. The canvas is between us. I’m frustrated at the obstruction, but I know he wouldn’t move it, even if I ask.

“What was the decision behind the name of the second painting in the series, Armor?”

I fall silent as the soft sounds of the violin fill the air. I almost ask him to turn it off. Isn’t this hard enough as it is without her playing in the background? I know deep down in the pit of my stomach that it is she who is currently providing the somber soundtrack.

“Not where I thought you were going to go,” he tells me, shifting his eyes to the painting between us.

I settle back in the chair at his words, and I lift my pen to the pad. “Oh? And what exactly were you expecting?”

As I sit there, waiting for his response, I’m not really sure what I’m even expecting at this stage. I know I’m not going to have to wait long when Phillipe stands and moves around the easel, walking across the space toward me.

I uncross my legs, placing both my hands on my lap, as he stops in front of me. He’s close enough that our pants are touching. He’s close enough that I have to tilt up my head at an awkward angle to look at him.

“I was expecting you to ask about that day. You know, the one everybody talks about? The one you keep avoiding, even though you keep thinking about it,” he accuses softly. He turns, walking away from me, going back in the same direction he came. “You surprise me, Gemma. It seems you already have an image of me all worked out in that pretty little head of yours. So, why not try to confirm it as quickly as possible and be on your merry way?”

Standing up, I throw the notepad onto the chair and take a fuming step forward.

“You know what? You’re right, okay? I screwed up. I let other people’s views and opinions filter in for a moment, and it clouded my own judgment.”

Keeping a close eye on him, I try to remember to breathe as he turns slowly on his bare feet. His eyes narrow on me while he takes a closing step back in my direction.

“And what did other people tell you?”

Swallowing once, I remain silent. I don’t know how to tell him some of the things people have said. They’re cruel and malicious. I have no desire to repeat them, especially when I don’t have any way of knowing if it’s true. I can only follow my instincts, and even though they are a little jumpy right now, I find myself needing to believe that they wouldn’t lead me astray.

“I don’t want to talk about that.”

Taking that final step forward, eliminating the space between us, Philippe is now bare toes to booted feet with me. I can feel his body heat emanating from him, and his hair has fallen haphazardly into his eyes. Placing his hands behind his back, he bends forward, almost as though he is about to kiss me.

Instead, he stops a breath away from my mouth. “Well, what would you like to talk about, Gemma?”

Refusing to step back, I tilt up my face to him. “I told you. Armor, the second pose you painted of Chan—”

“Shhh,” he coaxes, those full lips seductively requesting my silence.

Bringing up his right hand, he places a silencing finger against my lips, and I can feel my heart start to beat in overtime.

“Listen,” he tells me.

Closing my mouth, I listen. I suspect he didn’t stop me to listen to the music. I think it was more to keep me from saying her name out loud. Keeping my eyes on his, I watch in fascination as they seem to cloud over and get darker as the music builds. The tempo climbs toward a breathtaking peak before it crashes over and tumbles back down to the soft strains filtering through the air.

“Incorporating the violin into Armor came to me one morning when I saw her right over there,” he told me, reaching out to grip my arms.

He turns me, and I’m now facing the open window.

His mouth moves to my ear, his voice deep and hypnotic. “She mustn’t have been able to sleep because I remember waking to her standing there, just as she had left my bed, completely naked. Her skin was perfect.” He strokes his hands over my shoulders and down my arms. “Pale and soft, and as she stood there, she held her violin to her cheek like she would a lover’s hand, like my hand.”

I feel myself holding my breath as he paints the scene before us. It’s crazy, but I actually feel as though I can see her, almost as though she’s here in the room with us.

“Her hair was rumpled from my hands the night before, and when she left it out, it hit her shoulders around here.” He demonstrates by touching a finger to my shoulder blade.

“She looked like an angel.” He lets out a soft exhale. “Like someone had plucked her from the sky and placed her here in my studio. She didn’t seem real.”

His breath is warm against my ear and neck as his fingers trail down my arms to my hands where he entwines our fingers gently. I close my eyes and imagine what he is telling me.

“She stood there and played for at least an hour, maybe more. That was the moment, right there. I knew I had to paint her with the violin. It was like an extension of her. What better way to do that than capture her naked as the day she was born with the object that brought her to life?”

As the question fades into the now silent room, I feel him release my hands, and I turn to see him walking back to the painting he was working on. I cross my arms over my chest, feeling cold and alone.

“So why call it Armor? If the violin is part of her, why name it as though it’s a shield? That painting is so soft. I still don’t understand.”

I’m confused. Chantel seemed like such a strong individual. She was a woman with a handicap. A lot of people would let that hold them back, but she didn’t. No, if anything, she exceeded everyone’s expectations. She became an accomplished musician who moved to France and became the model for a now world-renowned artist. That did not seem like a woman who needed protection, yet in the end—

“No, you’re looking at it wrong,” he tells me from where he has now sitting back down, resuming his painting from earlier. “Armor as in the violin makes her stronger. This painting represents a quiet inner strength.”

I feel my mouth form an O-shape at his explanation.

“She was the strongest woman I have ever known.”

As I move over to the door about to leave, I make sure to ask, “When should I come back?”

It’s clear he wants to be left alone.

“When you’re ready to pose, Gemma. Tonight, we get to see how strong you can be. Or perhaps you think you need to arrive wearing the armor, hmm?”

Annoyed at his reference to my lack of trust and bravery, I say nothing as I turn, leaving him to his paints and his ghosts.

Handling Things ~

Phillipe convinced me to pose full-side profile nude today.

It had taken some persuasion on his behalf, and in the end, a compromise had been reached.

“Here. How about you sit over here?” he instructed as he took my palm in his.

Laughing softly, I followed to where he led me. “So, tell me again. Why must I first remove all of my clothes to appear strong?”

I heard him move in close to me before his lips touched mine. “Because I like looking at the full picture, and, Chantel, your body is a work of art.”

“You just like keeping me naked,” I told him as I felt him move away from me.

“Well that, too. Okay, so sit down here. Yeah, that’s perfect. Face the wall, so I can capture you from the side. Now, place the bout of Diva on your crossed legs and cradle her curves, so the handle is resting between your breasts. There. That’s perfect.”

The cool surface of the violin’s handle fits nicely against my chest.

“Wow, the way your breasts and hips look from this angle is a thing of beauty.”

“I feel kind of ridiculous,” I told him, licking my bottom lip as my nipples hardened in the cool morning air. “Are you going to paint me real to life?”

“Of course,” he mumbled in the way he always did when he was concentrating on a piece.

“I mean, are you going to paint my nipples hard, like they are right now?”

The room went silent until he cleared his throat. “Stop trying to distract me.”

“Is that what I’m doing, Phillipe? Distracting you with my hard nipples?”

He chuckled before making a promise. “If you behave for thirty minutes, I’ll let you take a break.”

It was funny because when he first told me about this idea he had to paint me, it had been one picture. Now, it had turned into two, but if I knew Phillipe, it would end up being more like ten or eleven. Who knew? Maybe he’d never stop. He was always telling me he could look at me all day.

“Okay, I think I can manage that for thirty minutes.”

“Good, good,” he answered in that far away voice again.

Around thirty minutes later, he told me I could break pose, so I lowered the violin to the floor gently. I stood and made my way over to where he was, uncaring now of my nudity. When I got there, I felt him make a move to stand. He must have turned to face me because I felt a fingertip trace down the curve of my breast to my straining hard nipple.

“Hmm, I like painting you like this,” he told me, fingering my sensitive flesh.

“Will you do something for me?” I asked.

I waited patiently for an answer. He took a moment, but I thought that was because he was too busy playing with my naked breasts.

“Phillipe?”

“Yes, Beauty, anything.”

I reached up and gripped his wandering finger. “Can you show me what you’ve painted?”

“How? Tell me how,” he urged.

“Turn around,” I instructed. I smiled when I felt him move away from me.

Reaching out, I placed my arms around him and ran my palms down his arms that were left bare from the T-shirt rubbing against my skin. The hair on his arms tickled and brushed against my palms as I stroked down his biceps to his forearms, where I could comfortably reach.

As I stood plastered to his body, my sensitive breasts against his back, I rested my cheek against his shoulder blade. “Now, trace your hands over the paint. Trace me the way you saw me just now.”

Closing my eyes, I let his body lead mine as his hands and arms started to move.

Just as his fingertips must have touched the canvas, in a voice that sounded slightly strained, he told me softly, “This will ruin the image. Are you going to sit again tomorrow?”

I grinned into his back, as I turned my head and opened my mouth, biting his shoulder blade gently. “Yes, I’ll sit for you again tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that. I’ll sit for you every day for as long as you want me to.”

He took a deep breath, and my heart sped up after he replied, “So forever.”

Taking my left hand, I ran it back up his arm, and then I removed it, bringing it to his side where I smoothed my palm down over his abdomen to the edge of his shirt. That was when his right hand started to move.

“Here, this is your right shoulder,” he told me as he ran his hand over the wet paint.

I stroked my fingers across his lower belly, flirting with the edge of his jeans.

“What are you doing, Chantel?” he questioned as he dropped his hand from the canvas.

I could feel him getting ready to turn and face me, so I requested softly, “No. Don’t turn around.”

“Why not?” he asked.

Honestly, all I could think of was that I wanted him to experience this just like me.

“I want you to be blind for a moment. Just feel me, hear me.”

Moving slightly back from him, I brought my right hand down to join my left under his shirt. He let out a deep breath.

“Do you want me to take my shirt off, just like you?”

“No,” I told him right away.

I felt him shift his feet a little wider to get a steadier stance.

“I like rubbing my nipples against the material. It feels so good.”

“Christ, Chantel. What the fuck has gotten into you?”

Slowly, I rubbed myself against his back. It was true. The material felt amazing as it abraded my stiff pointy tips. I could already feel my pussy start to moisten.

“I don’t know,” I confessed.

Reaching the button on his jeans, I undid it, only fumbling a little as I slipped my right hand inside, rubbing my palm against his pulsating cock.

“Oh, fuck yeah.” He groaned.

I smiled against his back. “Do you like that?” I asked, just the way he always did with me.

“Hell yes.” He groaned again. “Grip it, Chantel. Take me in your hand.”

Not wanting to disappoint him, I unzipped his jeans and pushed my other hand inside, freeing him from the confinement of only his denim.

Wrapping my palm around his hot cock, I stroked him slowly from base to tip. His hips flexed and bucked forward, seeking the warm downward slide of my palm. Gliding my hand over his sensitive skin, I turned my face into his back and took another bite of his shoulder as I brought my hand back up in a tight squeeze.

“Yes.” He hissed and demanded, “Again.”

Removing my hand from him, I told him softly, “Make it wet.”

“Huh?” He grunted.

I took great delight in the confusion I could hear in that single distracted noise. Bringing my hand up to where he could see it, I told him again, “Make it wet, Phillipe.”

This time, he seemed to get my meaning. He moved to the left, and the next thing I felt was his hand clasping mine with cool liquid. Somehow, I knew it was paint.

“What color?” I questioned.

“Are you fucking serious?” He groaned, his hand moving mine back to his impatient cock. He wrapped our fingers around him, as he punched his hips forward on a tormented growl, letting his head fall back.

“What color, Phillipe?”

“Red,” he hissed out. “Fiery fucking red.”

“Perfect,” I purred against his trembling back, as I resumed my slow torment.

Over and over, I stroked him. Each delicious tug of his stiff member rendered a strained groan from deep inside his chest as his hot palm assisted my movements.

“So fucking good.” He cursed as his hips flexed and his muscles bunched, thrusting forward into our palms. His flesh was now burning hot, rubbing against my hand hard.

“Bite me again, just like before,” he demanded.

I smiled against him. I teased him, nibbling softly. “Like this?” I reached up now with my free hand, stroking it along his abdominal muscles that were straining with each controlling motion of those powerful hips.

“No,” he forced out between his gritted teeth.

“No?”

“Chantel,” he told me in warning.

I ran my hand up to his nipple while I rubbed my own against his back. His breathing hitched as he grunted in a voice so husky and deep that I could swear he must have stroked my pussy because it contracted and moistened.

He demanded, “Put your fucking teeth on me, Chantel.”

How could I resist that? I couldn’t, and I didn’t.

Instead, I bit him hard, harder than I would have expected, as I stroked and squeezed his cock as fast and rough as I could. It must have been what he was waiting for because his palm gripped my hand and stilled it as I felt his big body twitch and shudder while he groaned my name.

Snapping the journal shut, I place it on the bed beside me, annoyed and frustrated. Every word I read from her pulls me deeper into their relationship. The more I read, the more I find myself craving the knowledge. What is it about them that I find so intriguing? Is it the fact that I am reading something so very private? I feel as though I am violating their love in some way, yet I can’t help myself from wanting to know more. No, I need to know more.

Sliding down the bed, I rest my head on the pillow and stare at the ceiling, remembering the image of Phillipe as I saw him only a few days ago. Naked, hard, and stroking himself so violently that I thought he must have been hurting himself. What did he tell her? Put your fucking teeth in me.

Fucking hell, that was so damn sexy.

I sit, letting my legs fall over the edge of the bed. He wants to start painting Armor tonight. The painting is the second one of the collection, and it’s the first full nude shot, where you can see a portion of my front side. I’m not sure how I feel about it.

Standing, I make my way over to the mirror that’s in my room, and I stare at my reflection. There, looking back at me, are wide green eyes. Raising my hand, I grip the hairband holding my hair away from my face and pull it out, releasing my blonde hair. It tumbles down around me, so I shake it back from my shoulders, looking at the picture I present. I’m trying to see all that he sees.

Reaching down to the bottom of my top, I lift it and pull it over my head, leaving myself standing in my nude-colored lace bra. Bringing my hand to the right strap, I finger the material and run it down to the curve of my breast, watching the reflection of my nipple as it hardens.

It’s strange inspecting myself, seeing my body change as I feel it happen. Moving to unclasp my bra, I take a breath as I pull the cups away from my body and let it fall to the ground. I’m left standing there, naked from the waist up, trying to see myself objectively.

My breasts aren’t huge. A small C-cup makes them full enough that I usually have to wear a bra, but sometimes, if I want to dress up for someone special, I can go without.

Below my right arm, where my breast curves out, I have a small beauty mark that I have hated for as long as I can remember. As I stand here now, looking at myself, I find that I don’t mind it. I think it adds a certain character to me.

Lifting my hand, I gently brush my red-painted fingertips against my nipple and let out a small gasp. Biting my bottom lip, I watch my fingers in the mirror as I trace them around the sensitive tips. I remember Chantel talking about how good Phillipe’s shirt felt against her nipples. Probably as good as my fingers now feel against mine.

I pinch and tug them between my thumb and index fingers, pulling the tight little tips. I sigh as I feel my pussy start to moisten. Shocked by my own brazen behavior, I can’t seem to tear my eyes away from myself.

That’s when something in the room changes, and I feel like I’m going a little crazy. I swear I’m seeing dark hair now, falling over my shoulder. Instead of my red-tipped fingers, I’m seeing long elegant ones with blunt-cut nails tracing over my body.

Feeling my lips part, I watch as the hands in front of me cup my breasts and squeeze. I’m mesmerized by the scene. The hands gliding over my body have morphed into hands I know. They are hands that shock me.

They’re hands I have seen before, hands I’ve studied, hands that have created music I’ve listened to, and hands I have just read about.

“Ah!” I groan as my nipples are plucked and twisted. They are pinched hard and teased. As my eyes are transfixed on the mirror, I can feel myself becoming increasingly wetter.

“Fuck.” I pant as my right breast is squeezed, and my left nipple is pulled. Crossing one leg over the other, I now close my eyes and imagine beautiful, pale talented hands caressing me. I can hear music flowing over me, violins, and I can feel my aching wet core clenching with each moment of my pleasure.

Arching my back and pushing my breasts forward, hands now squeeze my supple curves, I swear someone whispers, “Do you like that?”

As my climax crashes into me, I find myself calling out a name I never thought to say in a moment such as this.

“Chantel.”