Blood of Cain

85

I set the house alarm, put Max in the great room, and held Kim’s hand, leading her into my bedroom. The bedroom was on the east side of the cabin, and moonlight poured in through the windows. I kept the lights off as we stood at the end of the bed and undressed, Kim laying her clothes across the chair at the small desk in the room. She stepped to the edge of the bed and held out her hand. I took it. She kissed my palm, never taking her eyes off of mine. Under the light of the moon, she stood nude, no tan lines, body firm and toned, breasts and hips flawless, like a Greek goddess. Her natural beauty took my breath away.

I touched her cheek, using one finger to brush a strand of hair from near her eye. I cupped her face in my hands and leaned down to kiss her lips. She responded with a kiss soft as the moonlight, lips warm, mouth slightly open. We kissed for a few minutes, searching, probing — the heat building between us. She looked up into my eyes and then at my chest. Her fingertips tenderly tracing the beaded scars across my chest. War wounds. She said nothing. And then she saw the birthmark on my shoulder. She touched it, her index finger moving slowly over each of the four images that resembled the leaves of clover, an Irish shamrock.

“Kim …”

“Shhh …” She pressed one finger to my lips. “Lean closer,” she said in a throaty whisper.

I lowered my shoulder and she stood on her toes, kissed my birthmark, her eyes never leaving mine. The last woman who’d touched the birthmark was my mother, touching a birthmark that consummated what she knew and felt — that I was her son. And now Kim pressed her full lips to my skin, like she might do if she found a four-leaf clover, picked it, and made a silent wish as she kissed it.

She used one finger to touch each spot that resembled a clover leaf and said, “This one’s for faith … this one’s for hope … this one’s for the spirit … and the leaf closest to your heart is for love.” She leaned in and kissed me again, this time her mouth searching, tongue touching mine, her passion rising.

I lifted Kim up and carried her to my bed, her brown hair fanning out over the white pillow cases. We kissed, intensely, her eyes tender, desire building, and her body arching up to meet me. As I entered her, she wrapped her legs around my hips, pulling me deeper inside her, kissing intensely, mouth voracious, moaning with each deep thrust. Our bodies fell into a perfect rhythm, slowing and building again and again. She uttered a sensuous moan, her eyes closing, her mouth slightly open, breathing fast. She looked up at me, her brown eyes expressive and caring, drawing me to her.

“Kiss me, Sean … kiss me.”

I kissed her, holding deep inside her body. She shuddered, a moan coming from her throat, both of us climaxing together. We lay there, neither moving, just breathing, the bedroom filled with moonlight. I kissed her on the lips and then withdrew, lying on my back beside her. She pulled the sheet to her breasts and turned toward me. She ran her fingers through the hair on my chest, touching one of my scars. She said, “Your wounds, the scars … how did you get them?”

“In the desert. The Gulf War. I was captured for a month.”

“You mean somebody did this to you. Tortured you?”

“Yes.”

“Sean, why haven’t you shared or told anyone about this?”

“Some things are better left in the past.”

“Maybe … but it can make us really appreciate the present. Maybe plan for the future a little better. You so much as said that on your porch. The reason you’re going to Ireland is to learn more about your past, to try and help Courtney, to help her future.”

“I don’t have a choice.”

“Yes you do, and that’s what makes you the man you are. You do have choices and you choose to take the high road, to do what’s good and right. I heard Dave Collins tell Nick at the bar one night that the meaning of life is to find meaning in life, because without it, without purpose, then what’s really worth living for?”

“I think the challenge is beating or learning from the tests of pain and human suffering. Those things are inevitable. It’s what we choose to do about these trials that makes conquering them rewarding. Or as Nick puts it when he’s in the gym — no pain, no gain.”

Kim squeezed my hand and sat up, her body a silhouette against the moonlit drapes. She looked toward the window and then back at me. “Sean, all this you’ve been through, whatever happened in the war, the crime on the streets you saw as a detective in Miami, losing the parents who raised you, losing your wife, finding and losing your mother … in a way you’ve been blessed. I know that sounds weird, but think of how you’ve survived — lived in spite of the dark side, the danger. Someone, maybe something—a guardian angel, is keeping you from harm because of the good you do here on earth. That doesn’t mean you don’t suffer, but you somehow survive to go on another day. I’ve never been a very religious woman in terms of traditional religion, but I have to believe there’s a purpose, a connectivity, between forces in life and even death. Why did Courtney walk into your life? From that day you saved her life, pulling those two men off her, to what you’re trying to do now, finding her again, righting the wrongs that happened to her, and even your mother, is a good and moral thing.”

She leaned over and kissed me, pulled hair behind her right ear and said, “It goes back to what Dave and Nick were talking about at the bar, the meaning of life is finding your meaning in life.”

I sat up and smiled. “You’re a smart and perceptive woman. And you’re a beautiful woman, on the inside and out.”

“Ahhh, you know how to touch a girl’s heart, Mr. O’Brien.” Her wide smile suddenly melted. “After tonight, after you come back from Ireland, after you face those dragons, I don’t want you to think you owe me anything, Sean. You have known the pain of finding and losing family, we’re your family at the marina. I’ve always been close you. I don’t need to be your wife, your girlfriend … anything more than a part of your family of people who care deeply about you, okay? This is important. Are you okay with that … because I am?”

“Okay.”

“May you find what you’re looking for in Ireland, and may that help to right a wrong. Return to us safely, Sean. That’s all I ask of you. Come home safe and whole. I told you about the dark and frightening dreams I had in the hospital, what I didn’t tell you was they were about you. I believe you are about to walk through the darkest chapter of your life. And it will take everything you have to endure.”