Blood on Snow

Chapter 13

“We have to take the underground,” I explained. “Look, she thinks I’m protecting her. And I am. Unless I can use her in a deal like this. So I told her that if I wasn’t home in half an hour, something serious must have happened and she should take off. And it’ll take at least three-quarters of an hour by car to get to my flat through the Christmas traffic.”

Brynhildsen stared at me. “So call her and say you’re going to be a bit late.”

“I haven’t got a phone.”

“Really? So how come the pizza was waiting for you when you arrived, Johansen?”

I looked down at the big red cardboard box. Brynhildsen was no idiot. “Phone box.”

Brynhildsen ran his finger and thumb over either side of his moustache, as if he were trying to stretch the hairs. Then looked up and down the street. Presumably estimating the traffic. And wondering what Hoffmann would say if she got away.

“CP Special.” This from the young lad. He was grinning broadly as he nodded towards the box. “Best pizza in the city, eh?”

“Shut up,” Brynhildsen said, now finished with his moustache-stroking, having made up his mind.

“We’ll take the underground. And we’ll call Pine from your phone box and get him to pick us up out there.”

We walked the five minutes it took to get to the underground station by the National Theatre. Brynhildsen pulled the sleeve of his coat down to cover the pistol.

“You’ll have to get your own ticket, I’m not paying for it,” he said as we stood at the ticket booth.

“The one I got when I came in is valid for an hour,” I lied.

“That’s true,” Brynhildsen said with a grin.

I could always hope for a ticket inspection, and that they’d take me to some nice, safe police station.

The underground was as crowded as I had hoped. Weary commuters, gum-chewing teenagers, men and women wrapped up against the cold, with Christmas presents sticking out of plastic bags. So we had to stand. We positioned ourselves in the middle of the carriage, each of us with a hand on the shiny steel pole. The doors closed and the passengers’ breath began to build up on the windows again. The train pulled away.

“Hovseter. I wouldn’t have had you down as living out west, Johansen.”

“You shouldn’t believe everything you believe, Brynhildsen.”

“Really? You mean like the fact that I’d have thought you could get pizza out in Hovseter rather than having to come all the way into the city?”

“It’s a CP Special,” the young lad said respectfully, staring at the red box that was taking up a ridiculous amount of space in the overfull carriage. “You can’t get—”

“Shut up. So you like cold pizza, Johansen?”

“We reheat it.”

“We? You and Hoffmann’s wife?” Brynhildsen laughed his one-snort laugh — it sounded like an axe falling. “You’re right, Johansen. We really shouldn’t believe everything we believe.”

No, I thought. You, for instance, shouldn’t believe that a guy like me would seriously believe that a man like Hoffmann was going to let him live. And, given that someone like me didn’t believe that, you shouldn’t believe that he wouldn’t take desperate measures to change the state of play. Brynhildsen’s eyebrows almost met at the top of his nose.

Obviously I couldn’t read what was going on in there, but I’d guess the plan was to shoot Corina and me in my flat. Then put the pistol in my hand and make it look like I’d shot her, then myself. A suitor driven mad by love, the old classic. A better option than dumping us in a lake in a valley just outside Oslo. Because if Corina just disappeared, her husband would automatically be the main suspect, and there wasn’t a lot about Hoffmann that would stand up to close scrutiny. Well, that’s what I’d have done if I was Brynhildsen. But Brynhildsen wasn’t me. Brynhildsen was a man with an inexperienced sidekick, a pistol hidden up one sleeve and the other hand loosely grasping a metal pole, but without the space to spread his legs far enough to keep his balance. That’s just the way it is when you’re a first-timer on this line. I counted down. I knew every jolt of the rails, every movement, every comma and full stop.

“Hold this,” I said, pushing the pizza box into the chest of the young guy, who automatically took it.

“Hey!” Brynhildsen shouted over the sound of shrieking metal, and raising the hand holding the pistol at the very second we hit the points. I started moving as the lurching of the train made Brynhildsen fling out his pistol arm in reflex as he tried to keep his balance. I grabbed the pole with both hands and levered myself past it with full force. I was aiming for the point where his eyebrows almost joined up at the top of his nose. I’ve read that a human head weighs about four and a half kilos, which, at a speed of seventy kilometres an hour, gives the sort of force that would take someone better at math than me to work out. When I leaned back again, there was a fine spray of blood coming from Brynhildsen’s broken nose, and his eyes were almost all whites, just a little bit of the irises visible under his eyelids, and he was holding his arms out stiffly from his sides, like a penguin. I could see Brynhildsen was out for the count, but to prevent any potential revival, I grabbed both his hands in mine, so that one of my hands was holding the pistol up his sleeve, making it look like we were doing some sort of folk dance, the two of us. Then I repeated the previous move, seeing as it had had such a successful outcome the first time. I pulled him hard towards me, lowered my head and smashed into his nose. I heard something break that probably wasn’t supposed to break. I let go of him, but not his pistol, and he collapsed in a heap while the other people standing around us gasped and tried to move away.

I spun round and aimed the pistol at the apprentice, as a nasal, studiously disinterested voice over the loudspeaker announced “Majorstua.”

“My stop,” I said.

His eyes were wide open above the pizza box, his mouth gawping so much that in a perverse way it was almost flirtatious. Who knew, maybe in a few years’ time he’d be after me with more experience, better armed. Mind you, years? These youngsters learned all they needed to in three or four months.

The train braked as it pulled into the station. I backed towards the door behind me. All of a sudden we had plenty of space — people were pressed up against the walls staring at us. A baby was babbling to its mother, but otherwise no one made a sound. The train stopped and the doors slid open. I took another step back and stopped in the doorway. If there was anyone behind me trying to get on, they very wisely chose a different door.

“Come on,” I said.

The kid didn’t react.

“Come on,” I said, more emphatically.

He blinked, still not understanding.

“The pizza.”

He took a step forward, listless as a sleep-walker, and handed me the red box. I stepped back onto the platform. I stood there, pointing the pistol straight at the youth to make sure he realised that this was my stop alone. I glanced at Brynhildsen. He was lying flat on the floor, but one shoulder was twitching slightly, like an electric charge in something that was fucked but not quite ready to die.

The doors slid shut.

The kid stared at me from behind the filthy, wintry, salt-streaked windows. The train set off towards Hovseter and environs.

“See you latel, all-a-gatol,” I whispered, lowering the pistol.

I walked home quickly through the darkness, listening for police sirens. As soon as I heard them, I put the pizza box on the steps of a closed bookshop and began to walk back towards the station again. Once the blue lights had passed I turned round and hurried back. The pizza box was sitting untouched on the steps. Like I said, I was looking forward to seeing the look on Corina’s face when she took her first bite.