Blood, Smoke and Mirrors

Chapter Nine

There were more gadgets, bells and whistles in Lex’s SUV than there are on the space shuttle. After five minutes I began to understand Tybalt’s fascination with them as I resisted the temptation to push buttons just to see what would happen. As though sensing my torment, Lex reached over and captured my left hand, holding it in his. I smiled at the sight of our entwined fingers. It was very high school, but still sweet.

We were headed for LaGrange, a suburb that’s not too far from my apartment. LaGrange is the sort of place I’d want to live in if I had kids. The area is nice, plenty of shopping, old Victorian houses, decent schools. It’s got character, something some of the newer, trendier suburbs with their identical Borg-cube subdivisions are severely lacking.

“Who exactly are we going to meet? A librarian?”

“Of sorts.”

“Of sorts? Does that mean not a librarian? An alchemist with delusions of grandeur?” I frowned-you’re either something or you’re not in the magician world, you can’t mix and match your skill set. Sure, I could try summoning something, or stirring up a potion, but I wouldn’t be nearly as good at it as an actual summoner or alchemist. In fact, there was no guarantee I could get their spells to work at all. This is one of the reasons why the different factions don’t intermingle very often: not much in common, not much to talk about.

“Means he was a librarian, now he’s something else.”

“Like what? A Republican? Just spit it out, Lex. I’m not as clever as you think I am.” I sighed.

“Simon is a chronicler. It’s the librarian version of vampire.” My frown deepened even further, because that didn’t make any sense.

“Librarians don’t become vampires.”

“As a rule, they don’t. Simon’s Order is unique.” Lex glanced over at me. “Most people haven’t heard of them, and they like to keep it that way. I figure since you’re about to become Titania you need to know these things, but you also need to know this information shouldn’t be shared. Understood?”

“Right, totally classified.” I nodded. “But if the vamps have a hit out on me, isn’t going to one’s lair an inherently bad idea?”

“Not this vamp. The Order has a strict policy of noninvolvement. They observe, record and broker information.”

“Oh, good to know. Friend of yours?”

“Simon doesn’t have any friends that I’m aware of,” Lex replied, and I fidgeted in my seat. I so did not want to go have a chat with a vampire right now, or ever for that matter. And not just a vampire, but a “special” vampire. A friendless vampire. Lucky me.

“And this is the last-resort contact that you didn’t want to talk to?”

He pondered that for a moment before nodding. “I wanted to avoid talking to him, if possible, but he’s our best bet for finding out what Laura’s up to.”

“Why did you want to avoid him? Aside from the obvious dead-guy reason.”

“Because he’s expensive.”

“I didn’t bring my checkbook.” Not that I could write a check even if I did. Anything more expensive than a fast-food meal would probably overdraw my account right about now. My financial future was looking pretty bleak too, considering that with Mac gone I was out of a job.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m buying this round.” Lex flashed me a reassuring smile and I rolled my eyes.

“Right then. So, what really happened to your pickup truck? You loved that thing.”

“Dragon,” he answered.

“Get out. Serious?”

“Serious. It didn’t go home quietly, totaled the pickup. I’m gettin’ used to this one though. Not bad, for an SUV.”

“Glad the dragon I met was polite. Though he did say he wasn’t going to eat me since he only eats virgins.” I smiled dryly, and Lex laughed. “I’m still not sure why I let myself get dragged into this mess.”

“You saw what needed to be done, and you did it. You’re a tough one, Cat. You’ll get through this.” Lex squeezed my hand, and I smiled.

“At least one of us has faith in me. Hey, how’s Nick doing?”

Though Nick was a New York guardian, he was one of Lex’s closest friends. They were about the same age and had the same tastes in movies, music, and all-black clothing, but Nick had a rowdier sense of humor than Lex did. Lex sighed, his expression somber as the playful light disappeared from his eyes.

“Forgot you hadn’t heard about that. Nick was killed in the line of duty, ’bout a year ago now.”

“What? What happened?”

His fingers tapped a tense beat on the steering wheel as he considered his answer. “You familiar with Poison Apples, the band?”

“Yeah, a little bit.” They were a rock band, and I lean toward folksy chick music, but I’d heard of them. I remembered something about them in the news a while back, but because I wasn’t a fan I hadn’t paid attention.

“They’re an all-magician band, so they have a unique fan base. Ivy-she’s the lead singer-picked up a vampire as a stalker, real sick psycho, and Nick was assigned to protect her. Well, you know how girl-crazy he was. He got too wrapped up in her, and it made him sloppy. Got him killed. The vamp tore the girl’s throat out and then took Nick out, but he’d done enough damage to it that the bastard died too.” He spoke in a flat, tired tone that hinted he’d told the story too many times. Lex stared straight ahead, concentrating on the road, and there was a tightness around his eyes. I knew that expression all too well. It takes a lot of practice and control to pretend to be nonchalant about a loved one’s murder.

“Oh, Lex. I’m so sorry.” I rubbed my throat lightly with my free hand, thinking of my mother. It’s a horrible way to die. Lex spotted the gesture and shook his head.

“She lived, Ivy. They say she probably won’t sing again though. You know, Cat…” he started. Continuing to drum his fingers on the steering wheel, Lex looked as though he were considering his words carefully. “Never mind. Don’t worry about it, we’re almost there.”

The SUV turned off the street we had been driving on and bumped down a less-than-pristine stretch of paved road, something that immediately caught my attention. A city girl is always suspicious when surrounded by trees, and it looked as though we were entering a forest preserve. We continued forward until the street behind us disappeared, and we rounded a bend to emerge into a clearing, approaching a huge, lonely house. It was in a sad state of disrepair-the faded paint peeled, the shutters hung from their hinges, dirt coated the stairs and porch. It looked like a haunted house from a bad horror film, and probably drew amateur ghost hunters from all over the area. All the scene needed was a creepy old family graveyard in the back, but thankfully there was none to be seen. Strangely out of place, an expensive black sedan was parked next to the building, likely miserable without a garage to hide in.

“What, does he have some sort of religious objection to hiring a groundskeeper?” I blinked as we pulled up to the front steps.

“Nope. Just likes to keep the neighbors at bay.”

“Yeah I imagine it works on salesmen too.” I hopped out of the car and walked toward the house, hesitating at the stairs as an image of my foot crashing through rotted wood danced through my head. For a moment Lex paused next to me, studying the sedan, and then he shrugged.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you,” Lex said, taking my arm and leading up the steps before I could protest. When we reached the front door he opened it without knocking. I followed, feeling awkward at entering without an invitation. The interior of the place wasn’t any more appealing than the outside. Cobwebs hung thick on the doorways, and faint sunlight filtered through windows that had been boarded up from the inside.

“Geez, who’s his decorator? Béla Lugosi?” I wrinkled my nose. Lex chuckled as he led me down a hallway into what might have once been a kitchen. Opening a door, he began to disappear down a flight of stairs into the darkness of what had to be the basement. The scent wafted up toward me on a slight draft, the slight ozone smell that follows when a match refuses to be extinguished.

“Oh hell no.” I stopped, shaking my head emphatically. “I’ve seen this movie. There’s no way I’m going down those stairs.”

“C’mon, Cat.” Lex paused and turned around, holding his hand out to me.

“No. I’ll wait in the car, thank you.”

Sighing, he came back up the stairs and stood in front of me. “I’ll throw you over my shoulder if I have to, but I’d rather not. Won’t make a good impression on Simon, and you want to make a good impression on him.”

I snorted. “The only impression I want to make on a vamp involves a sword.”

“Do you trust me?”

Now there was a loaded question. Before last night I would’ve answered with an immediate no, but now… “Yes,” I grudgingly admitted.

He held out his hand again and I took it, letting him guide me down into what my instincts were screaming at me was certain danger. It reeked of vampire magic-the place was completely saturated in it like nothing I’d ever experienced before. Then again I’d never set foot into a lair before. I’m not that stupid. And yet here I was, being led into the proverbial lion’s den. I had to wonder if my I.Q. had dropped dramatically in the past few days.

When we reached the bottom of the stairs, we stood in the near total darkness. The only light in the room shone down from the open door at the top of the stairs. It was a tiny, cramped space, the kind that frequents the nightmares of claustrophobic people. I clung to Lex’s hand like a scared little girl.

“Okay. Now what?”

As though on cue the door at the top of the stairs swung shut with a bang and plunged the basement into total darkness. I jumped, adrenaline shooting through my veins in a frightened rush, and Lex’s grip tightened in what I assume was a futile attempt to comfort me. Off to our right, a door I would’ve sworn had not been there moments before opened. A figure stood outlined in the doorway, the soft diffuse light of candles glowing behind him. Though I wouldn’t have thought it possible, the vamp smell became even stronger, and I sneezed twice in reaction.

“Duquesne,” the figure said, inclining his head slightly.

“St. Jerome.”

“This must be Miss Morrow, I presume?” I noticed a slight accent when he spoke, a bit of British. The vampire tilted his head to the side as he looked me up and down, an expression of detached interest on his face. If not for the odor assaulting my nose, I would have thought sorcerer on first seeing Simon. He was dressed in the type of long, full robes so many sorcerers seem to prefer. Black of course-in fact I don’t think I’ve ever seen a sorcerer wear robes of another color. I’ve never seen a librarian dress like a Lord of the Rings reject though, so either this vamp was a fan of fantasy fiction or he was actually old enough that his attire had at one point been socially acceptable during his lifetime. I was banking on the latter rather than the former.

I hesitated, unsure of how to reply. The few times I’ve briefly spoken to vamps in the Three Willows generally involved the words “bugger off, fang face,” so I wasn’t sure what to say. Somehow, “Hello, please don’t eat me,” didn’t seem like a polite way to start a conversation. I settled on a weak smile instead, and the vampire nodded infinitesimally in reply.

“Come in.” Turning around, he walked away, and we followed him through the doorway toward the source of the buttery golden light. After proceeding down a short hallway we entered an enormous library.

“Wow.” The word slipped from me in a surprised whisper. I clamped my hand over my mouth before I could make any other brilliant comments and simply stared in awe at row after row of bookshelves. Not since college when I’d taken a tour of the stacks of the main library had I seen a room with so many books. Mac would’ve fainted if he saw this place, and then awoken crying tears of joy. It made me miss him terribly.

Simon made his way to an enormous, elaborately carved wooden desk in front of a large fireplace. Two more vampires stood in front of the desk, watching us with great interest as Lex and I approached. A man and a woman in conservative business attire-it was refreshing to see a female vampire without dark eye makeup, dressed in real, grown-up clothes, and with her natural hair color too. All three vampires appeared to be in their mid to late thirties, and I wondered just how old they actually were. Our host sat down in a chair that was decorated as intricately as the desk, enough that it was almost a throne really, and nodded toward the other two vampires.

“Duquesne, I believe you’ve met Mr. and Mrs. Black,” Simon commented. Black? Ugh, completely unoriginal vampire name. Do they require you to pick a new, cliché name when you sign up to be a fang-face?

“Nice to see you again,” Mr. Black politely greeted Lex. “Miss Morrow, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I am Michael Black, and this is my wife Emily.”

“Hi,” I said, smiling nervously. If it wasn’t for my magic-sniffing ability, I wouldn’t have taken him for a vamp just by sight-he looked too normal. Conservative haircut, average height and build, there was nothing remarkable about him that screamed “hello, undead!” like the other vampires I’d encountered.

“We’ve heard so much about you,” Emily added enthusiastically. That couldn’t be good. It was already disturbing enough that the vampires were being obviously rude by using my True Name, when I was sure they knew the one I go by. “Your story is really quite interesting. I’m a bit of a writer, and I was wondering if I might speak more with y-”

“We’ll leave you to your meeting,” Michael interrupted his wife. With a polite smile Michael took her arm to lead her away, and I noticed she didn’t look happy to be leaving.

“Perhaps I could email you?” she called over her shoulder. Before I could answer, the pair disappeared through a side door instead of leaving the way Lex and I had entered. I bet this place was a maze of rooms.

“Please have a seat.”

Lex and I took the chairs on the other side of the desk. Leaning back in his throne, the vampire steepled his fingers as he regarded us. Now that we were in better light I was able to get a closer look at him. Simon’s features were thin, similar to the starved scholar look Mac tended to get when he was too involved in studying a new text and forgot to eat. Waves of chestnut hair fell just past his shoulders, framing a thin face with a strong nose and calculating blue eyes. Simon was attractive in a bookish sort of way, if you didn’t mind the fact that he could probably drain you dry without batting an eyelash or giving your death an afterthought.

“I would very much like to know the spell you used on the vampires who attacked you, Miss Morrow.”

“What spell?” I frowned, momentarily at a loss. Technically I hadn’t cast a spell on the vamps outside the café, I’d cast one near them. “Oh. That spell,” I said, sounding as stupid as I felt. “I don’t remember the words to it. I was trying for a ball of light and it ended up…bigger.”

“You did not throw the fire?”

“No. Though in retrospect that would have been a smarter idea than letting it explode in my hand.”

Simon frowned, appearing disappointed. “You don’t remember any of the words at all?”

“Just something about Apollo, that’s about it.”

His brows rose at the mention of Apollo, but then he shrugged. “Pity. A reaction of that sort with the circumstances described has not been recorded in three hundred years. I would like to study the incident further, perhaps another time. I must congratulate you on your success with the first two tests. You’ve far outperformed your competition.”

“Do you know how he did on the second test?” I asked, curious.

The vampire nodded. “It is fairly common knowledge. I won’t even charge you for it. In true necromancer style, Dorian decided on death for the three criminals.” He turned to Lex. “I assume you came here for more interesting information though, Duquesne. I’m surprised you ran out of other options so quickly.”

“What do you know about the current situation?” Lex asked, ignoring the barb.

The vampire smiled thinly. “I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific.”

“All right.” Lex sat up straighter in his chair and leaned forward. “Why is Laura making a play for the position of Faerie liaison?”

“Ah, much better. More costly as well, as I’m sure you know,” Simon replied.

“I’m willing to pay the price we agreed on.” There was a stoic determination in Lex’s voice, and it made me nervous. Just how much money did this guy charge? Lex was comfortable financially, all guardians are. I’m not sure where the money comes from, but I know it’s meant to prevent them from being tempted by bribes.

“Excellent. Now then, you assume that it’s Laura. Why?”

“Because Laura practically owns my father,” I grumbled, “and she’s on the Council.” Lovely Laura Barrenheart (I sincerely doubt that’s her real last name), the only female vamp on an American Council. She’s also the vamp who turned my father into a necromancer, and promised to turn him into a vampire-a promise, I might add, she obviously hasn’t delivered on yet.

“While that is certainly true, I don’t believe she is behind this. Laura is very ambitious, but simply not creative enough to concoct a radical plan of this sort, despite the fact that it is a play for power.” Simon shook his head. “This manner of move I would expect from a younger vampire, one who has not had the time to accept the way things are and become settled in the routines of the others. Also, it needs to be an individual who has enough influence to convince Laura to act. There are few who fit that description.”

“Who do you suspect?” Lex questioned.

The vampire paused, gazing first at Lex and then at me, as though carefully considering something. “Zachary Harrison.”

Lex swore under his breath, and I silently echoed the sentiment. Guess that explained why Harrison was in town. He wanted to personally oversee the outcome of the tests.

“You have a file on him?” Lex asked.

“I do.”

“Can I get a copy of that?”

Simon appeared almost surprised for a moment, but then nodded in agreement. “Of course.”

“This still doesn’t answer the question of why. Why do this?” I asked, confused. “Vamps can’t get into Faerie. Why jockey for a political position with a race that won’t talk to you, and to a place you’re not welcome in?”

“Perhaps they are seeking to change that,” Simon replied.

“How?”

“Among the realms magicians can travel to, Faerie is unique. It was created after the powers-that-be closed the doorways to vampires. The doors of Faerie are closed to vampires by choice, by the will of the Councils of Faerie. Change that will, and the doors will open.”

“Yeah right, like the faeries will just forget the whole unforgivable-crime-against-nature thing because of a little politicking. No offense,” I added quickly. Probably not a good idea to remind your host that he was an evil abomination spurned by the gods.

“None taken.” Simon smiled thinly again. “I am not a vampire. I am a chronicler.”

“What’s the difference?” I asked, and then winced. Tact is not my strong suit.

“Necromancers become vampires, though they find the term offensive.”

“Oh good, I’ll keep using it then. So, why go to Faerie? They can’t even feed there.”

“Maybe that’s not the point. They might just want to open up a dialogue,” Lex commented, looking concerned. “My sister in Denver has been monitoring the vamps in her area. They’ve been making overtures to the shifters, looking to form some sort of alliance.”

“I’ve heard something of that as well.”

“So they’re extending the hand of friendship to the other magical races. No good will come of this.”

“That’s quite pessimistic, Miss Morrow. Did you have additional questions?” Simon asked Lex.

“I need confirmation. Who put the mark on Cat’s life?”

“You already know the answer to that one, Duquesne.”

Lex swore again, and a sinking feeling settled into my stomach. Now that had to be Laura. I’d threatened one of her minions, one she valued as well. She wouldn’t take that kind of insult lightly.

“My advice to you would be to take her somewhere they cannot reach her until the trials are complete.”

“I know.” Lex nodded in agreement.

“Like Jamaica?” I asked. Can’t be a lot of vampires on a tropical island, after all. I could use a nice, relaxing vacation too. Both men chuckled at my idea, and Lex shook his head.

“Sorry, sugar, you’ll have to settle for something less exotic than that.”

“Great. Well, now what?”

“Now there is a matter of payment to settle.” For the first time I sensed genuine emotion from him, an eager interest.

“Cat, you go on up to the car, I’ll be right there,” Lex said, standing up. I was instantly suspicious, and more than a little insulted. What, it was male chauvinist time and the woman wasn’t allowed to know about important details like the bill?

“Why?” I asked, folding my arms across my chest.

“Because I’m askin’ nicely.”

“I appreciate that, but I want to know why I’m being left out of this part of the discussion.”

“I believe the guardian would rather you not witness this.” Simon rose to his feet and walked around to the front of the desk, standing next to Lex’s chair.

“Witness what?” I frowned. I caught a strong wave of the smoky scent of vamp magic, and my jaw dropped. “Oh no way, are you crazy?”

“Cat-”

“What the hell kind of deal is this? ‘The Merchant of Venice’ package?”

“An interesting analogy, but I assure you it is not a pound of flesh that interests me.” Simon smiled, and there was an unmistakable predatory glint to the expression.

“Have you lost your mind?”

“Cat.” Lex held out a hand toward me in a placating gesture, and I shot to my feet, backing away from them both. “Simon and I negotiated the payment before we came here.”

“Well I didn’t know that, and I wouldn’t have let you come here if I did,” I protested, still in shock.

“Which is why I didn’t tell you. Go on up to the car, I’ll be behind you in a minute.”

“No.”

“Let her stay then, it doesn’t matter to me,” Simon suggested.

“No, you can’t do this, Lex. This is my fault, you shouldn’t have to pay for information I need for my problems.” My voice cracked as it raised a panicked octave.

“Would you pay it then?” Simon asked, gazing at me contemplatively.

“Would-what?” I blinked. My train of thought ground to a screeching halt. Had I finally gone crazy enough to willingly offer my blood to a vampire? Or chronicler, rather. Whatever.

“No, she isn’t,” Lex said firmly. My mouth worked but no sound came out as I struggled to deal with the very concept of it. If I had given the matter more thought, I would have known the price of Simon’s help. We had no information to give him, and what else would a vampire place high value upon? The idea of letting him drink my blood was terrifying, disgusting, horrible beyond words.

But this was my problem. I agreed to petition to become Titania, I threatened my father, I lit those vamps up outside the Three Willows. This was my burden to bear, and I couldn’t let Lex suffer for it.

“Yes, I will,” I said in a small, frightened voice.

“No!”

“Done.” The vampire smiled. Furious, Lex leapt to his feet and for a strained moment looked as though he was going to take a swing at Simon, but he barely managed to keep himself in check, his body trembling with the force of his self-control.

“She doesn’t know what she’s doing, she can’t make this bargain,” Lex said, almost through gritted teeth. The peculiar mix of scents that made up guardian magic rose around him, and his face flushed with anger.

Simon smirked, appearing as though he very much enjoyed watching the guardian’s discomfort. “Just because she hasn’t been bitten before does not mean that Miss Morrow cannot understand the bargain. In fact, considering her past, I’m sure she has a keener understanding than you do. Don’t worry, I assure you that I won’t harm her.”

“I know you won’t harm her, that’s not what concerns me.”

“Then you should have stipulated the conditions of payment more carefully when you contacted me. Bluster all you want, Duquesne, she has agreed, and you can’t undo it. Think of this as an educational experience for you both-you’ll be more careful with your bargains in the future, and Miss Morrow will have the benefit of learning what it’s like to be bitten in a safe environment.”

The two men sized each other up, and I sneezed once and then again as the smoky vampire scent returned, saturating the air around us and mingling with the haze of Lex’s magic.

“Fine, whatever. Can we just get it over with?”

“Of course.” With liquid, otherworldly grace the vampire glided toward me and I stared at him, petrified with terror. Images of my mother’s broken body assaulted me, of her eyes frozen in an expression that urged me to run, to flee from the monsters which would be looking for me next.

I wasn’t sure what I expected him to do. Outside of horror films and Buffy the Vampire Slayer I’d never witnessed a vamp feeding before. Simon circled around behind me. He was tall, even taller than Lex, and I tried to look at him but he stopped me by gently turning my head toward Lex instead. Helpless, I watched as anger and frustration thrummed through him. I was going to be lectured after this, I could tell-provided of course I didn’t die on the spot from a fear-induced heart attack.

My hair was tied back into a loose braid, and I felt the vampire smooth it away from my neck as he tilted my head to the side, running his slender fingers tantalizingly slow down the side of my exposed throat. His touch was cold, and there was no warmth from his body as he pressed himself against me, bending down to hover above my pulse. Simon chuckled, and I felt his breath brush against my skin.

“What’s so funny?” I asked, my voice high and sharp.

“I was correct, wasn’t I? You’ve never been bitten before,” he whispered. I swallowed hard and nodded. “I’ll try to make this memorable then. Be sure to watch your guardian. His reaction is going to be most entertaining.”

Like a techno-dance beat my pulse throbbed deafening in my ears as I tensed for the coming strike, squeezing my eyes shut. There was a sharp moment of pain, like the quick slice of a knife, that made me gasp, and I fully expected agony to follow it. Much to my amazement, the sensation was pleasant-a warm fuzzy glow that reminded me of adding a shot or two of butterscotch schnapps to my mug of hot chocolate on a winter’s night. It was confusing-pleasurably confusing, but still not making any sort of sense to me. This was supposed to be awful, wasn’t it?

I opened my eyes and looked at Lex. His hands were clenched into tight fists, as though he was waiting for something dire to happen. I started to comment on how it wasn’t so bad after all and reassure him I was okay, but the breath was stolen from my lungs as the experience went from “not so bad” to “oh dear God”.

A rush of lustful heat spread from my throat in a wave of ecstasy that flooded me down to my toes. I inhaled, the noise a strangled gasp that sounded impossibly loud, and my legs went weak beneath me as my eyes fluttered shut. The feelings were incredible, like nothing I’d ever experienced before. It was one long orgasmic sensation that suffused my entire body, a pleasure so sharp it skirted the edges of pain. Through the haze of sensation I dimly heard Lex thoroughly cursing Simon in both English and French, questioning everything from his looks to his parentage to his sense of honor, but I couldn’t understand why. This was amazing, incredible. It now made perfect sense to me why so many magicians willingly signed up to be a vamp’s dinner, and I began considering life as a buffet. In fact, I began considering a whole lot of things I normally would never think of doing with a complete stranger, but my girl parts were campaigning that we entertain guests. And they wanted to entertain said company right now. Perhaps bent over the desk, or even right then and there on the floor.

I moaned, never wanting the feeling to end, and something about that desire triggered a warning in my mind, a primitive instinct that sent a spike of adrenaline shooting through that lovely oblivious fog. I was weak, lightheaded, and my legs were about to collapse out from under me. Things were wrong, very wrong, and I attempted to struggle free of the bite.

“That’s enough, let her go,” Lex ordered, but the vampire ignored him. Simon grasped my upper arms, firmly holding me in place against him as he continued to drain me. I tried to fight, to pull out of his embrace, but I no longer had the strength. My eyelids felt heavy and slipped shut. When I was on the very brink of unconsciousness he stopped drinking, and then handed my limp body over to Lex. He pulled me into his arms, still growling curses at the vampire who laughed lightly.

“I have misjudged you, Duquesne,” Simon commented, his voice sounding faint and distant to me. “I thought you were an intelligent man, but anyone who would willingly let such a rare treasure get away from him is naught but a fool.”

Though I would’ve loved to have heard Lex’s reply, the darkness rose and swallowed me, and everything went cold and black.