Bound by Blood

Chapter 9

“I cannot believe what a fucking idiot you are.”

The trick to hospital life was to sleep as much as possible. To hover just below the threshold of consciousness where you were not hurting, or worried or bored, just numb. She’d done a pretty good job of it, too, coming out of it only to argue with her family and doctors. Late night was the best time, when the ICU was quiet, or as quiet as it gets, and no one visited. Which is why she was very surprised to wake up to these words late on her second night there.

Gregor? Cracking open her eyes, she saw his massive black silhouette in the greenish fluorescent light. The memory of their night together had kept her company in these quite hours alone. She held the memory close, and knew that even though he hated her for leaving him, he would also remember their night together, how good they were together, long after she was gone.

She never wanted him to see her like this.

“Get lost, Faustin,” she said, her voice a croak. “You don’t belong here.”

“I’m not leaving.”

Maddy groped for the call button at her side.

“That won’t work.”

“Please tell me you didn’t do anything to the nurses.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve just arranged it so that we can talk.”

Maddy rolled her head toward at the curtain to her left. “Mr. Zimmerman?”

“Isn’t listening.”

Vampires. The low, electric hum of her machinery became loud in the silence as she considered what to do with him, the wheels of her mind turning slow. All the little computers attached to her pinged and chirped their slow chorus. Her oxygen tube itched her nose.

“So, talk.”

Taken off the offensive, he seemed at a loss. His eyes flicked nervously over the tangle of wires emerging from the collar of her gown, the tubes at her wrists, the machines behind her. “Well, first…uh, I have to give you this.”

Gregor fished a big gold crucifix out of his pocket. He dangled it in front of her like a hypnotist. It was an Eastern Orthodox cross, the kind with the extra bars. “My mother wanted me to give this to you, and to tell you she’s praying for you. See, the writing on the back says, Save and Protect in Russian.

“Your mother?” Maddy was wondering if she was having one of those strange hospital dreams. “What in the hell does your mother know about me?”

Gregor picked up her hand, carefully, because it had an IV in it, and pressed the cross into her palm. “My mother hopes you will marry me.” Then he knelt down on one knee and kissed her knuckles. “Madelena, I hope you will marry me.”

Oh shit. It was like being hit with his car all over again. She struggled for breath, her eyes on the ceiling tiles, the ceiling tiles a blur from tears. “I’m dying, Gregor. You know that, don’t you?”

“I’ve come to offer you a chance at life.”

“Oh my God.” It was just like Lestat and Claudia. “You’ve come to make me into a vampire.”

“Well, yes, that’s part of the plan.”

“Forget it.” She pulled her hand from his. “I won’t do it.”

Gregor stood up and put his hands on his hips. “Now what’s your problem?”

Tender moment officially over.

“Because I don’t want to be immortal. It’s not right. We all have to move on.”

He threw his arms out. “Why are you so goddamn death obsessed? Look, it’s not an issue. None of us are immortal. I’m not offering you immortality. I don’t even know if I can offer you a full life.”

“Just what are you offering me, then?”

“A heart transplant.”

“Christ, Gregor.” Maddy sighed. “You think I haven’t been through all this with my own doctors?”

“I want you to meet someone. Can I bring him in?”

Maddy lifted a hand. “Bring him in. Bring anyone you want in. Why the hell not?”

Gregor stepped through the curtains, and returned a few moments later with a sleek, handsome man wearing jeans and a sweater, and carrying an attaché. He gave her the “don’t worry, I’m a professional” bedside smile that she’d seen so many times, so she knew he was a doctor right away.

“Madelena, this is Dr. Felix El Khouri.”

“Hello, Madelena. You can call me Felix. I’m pleased to meet you.” He spoke in an intriguing French accent. “I’ve been reading your charts. You’ve quite the history.”

“You’re telling me.”

“You’ve refused further interventions, I see.”

“If you’ve read the chart then you know they would just be gestures at this point. I’d rather not go through it. What kind of doctor are you, anyway?”

“I’m a cardiac surgeon—or I was, until recently—Harvard Medical, Johns Hopkins, New York University. But then I met my wife and became a vampire, and now hospital work is not practical for me anymore.”

Ah, a vamp doc. That’s why he gave off a sexy vibe. She wondered if there were any dorky vampires, or fat vampires, or loser vampires. Felix continued, “But don’t worry, I’m not much out of practice yet. And I have a plan for you.”

“There’s nothing left to do. I’m not a candidate for transplant.”

“Ah, but with vampire blood in your veins, you will be.” Excited by the idea, he waved his hands like a magician. “Madelena, vampire blood is amazing stuff. It’s infection proof, it just assimilates everything, even transplants.”

“You know this for certain?”

“Not for certain. We haven’t done this before, as far as I can discover, but theoretically, it should work.”

“You have a donor heart for me?”

“No, and to be honest, it might take a while to find one through unofficial channels. A clean one, you know. I don’t think you’d want a heart taken…ah…unscrupulously? In the best case scenario we will find you a vampire heart, but that would be even more difficult. Anyway, that is all talk for the future. Right now, I want to implant a Jarvik 2000.”

Maddy groaned.

“You know it? I don’t mean the full mechanical replacement, the Jarvik-7. I’m speaking of a heart assist. The Jarvik 2000 is an axial blood pump. Unlike the 7, we’ve had some success with extended use of the 2000. I think you will do well with it until we can find you a heart.”

Maddy gestured for him to continue. “I’ve read about it.”

“Now, your case is a bit of a…what is the term? Catch-22? It will be hard on your heart to be turned so quickly, but you will need vampire blood to accept the Jarvis. We’re going to have to do it all at the same time. We’re going to drain you, transfuse you, take your heart off line and install the pump.”

Maddy sniffed at the idea. That was crazy. Felix nodded in agreement. “It’s not certain to succeed. If I had the choice, I would separate the two procedures by weeks, but you don’t have the time.”

“Odds?”

“There’s no precedent by which to set odds.” Felix chewed on his pen. A bad sign.

“Come on. I know how you guys think.”

He shrugged. “You are weak, but the will counts for much. I’ll give you 4 in 10 that you will survive the transfusion, and then raise your odds to even for the installation. But if you survive, I think you’ll do well with the pump. How you’ll do with the donor heart will depend on your health later. That I can’t predict.”

Maddy fingered the cross, its warm weight reassuring in her hand. She thought she was done with these decisions, and there had been peace in that. Could she put herself through it? Split open yet again, and maintained by machines, nagged by. The perpetual doubt and worry. She looked over at Gregor. She bet he didn’t have a clue what this artificial heart meant for her—or for them.

“Felix, remind me, where would the cable exit my body?”

“Just above the navel.”

Gregor’s brows rose in surprise. Yeah, she thought that would be a shocker. Baby’s got a plug.

“And it ties into a battery pack, right?” She looked straight at Gregor as she said that. “One I wear around my waist 24/7?”

“Yes, this diagram shows how it works.” Happy as a boy with a toy, Felix pulled a brochure out of his attaché. Maddy waved it away, but Gregor took it and studied it, his face grave. “You see, there is the battery pack on one side of the belt, which powers the impeller, and this box on the other side is the system controller. It regulates the pump speed.”

“And I would have to avoid all strenuous activities, I assume.” Maddy met Gregor’s eyes again. “So how’s that for sexy, Faustin? A puffy, couch-bound wife with a crusty plug in her belly and a belt full of batteries that never comes off. Still hot on the marriage idea?”

Gregor sat down on the edge of the bed. Suddenly he looked as tired as her. “Maddy, turning you is marrying you. Turning is a binding process, it links us all the way down to the cellular level. And of course I want to turn you, because I want you to live.”

“I’ll be outside if you have any questions,” Felix said as he slipped away.

“Linked to the cellular level?” Maddy said. “That’s nuts! If that’s true, what happens to you if I die in this process?”

Gregor lowered his head, didn’t answer. It came together for her, all too clearly. This was as dangerous for him as it was for her.

“Oh no, Faustin. What happens to you if you’re tied to an invalid for the rest of your life? Or what if I die in surgery? No way. I’m not going to let you.”

Lifting his head, he met her eyes. His expression was resolved, his eyes, breathtaking blue. “That’s not how I see it.”

Maddy dug in her heels. Save and Protect. It worked both ways. She could save him. “Offer declined. I want you to leave now.”

“Maddy—”

“Go!”

Gregor glanced over at her heart monitor, which was beeping fast and no doubt looked like the Pyrenees. “I’m going to let you think about this,” he said in a placate-the-crazy-person tone. “I’ll come back tomorrow.”

“Don’t.” She softened her voice. “Gregor, I appreciate what you are trying to do. No one has ever done anything so nice for me. But the dice have already been thrown, you know? I’m okay with this.”

Gregor scowled. “You’d better not die before I come back tomorrow.”

Alex met him at the nurse’s station. He and Felix had been busy fascinating the nurses. “How’d it go?”

Gregor slammed through the exit without answering. As he did, he heard Alex saying goodbye to all his new friends, then he and Felix were falling in behind him as he walked down the hall.

“That good, huh?”

Felix said, “I should not have told her the odds.”

“No, it’s fair for her to know. We all have to know what we’re getting into.”

“Well, I should vanish before one of my old colleagues sees me.”

“Yes, go, Felix. Thank you. The plan for tomorrow is still in effect as far as I’m concerned.”

Felix bowed. “We’ll be ready.”

After he left, Alex said, “So?”

“She won’t do it. She’s trying to protect me, to keep me from being hurt if she dies in the process.”

“Great. That means she likes you. But doesn’t she know that you’re screwed either way?”

“I didn’t explain to her that I’m already bound to her.”

“Why not?”

“Think, Alex. I don’t want to guilt trip her into this. She has to want it herself. She has to want an artificial heart. She has to want to be like us. She has to want to be bound to me.”

They stopped at the elevators. Gregor felt a lot like driving his head through the wall, because even as he said these things, he knew it was hopeless that she would want any of it. “If she went through it just because she felt sorry for me, I don’t think she’d have the will to survive.”

“So you’re helping all this along by fighting with her?”

The elevator doors opened. “It’s what we do best.”

“Have you told her you love her?”

“I asked her to marry me.”

Alex sighed. “Yeah…good…but did you tell her you loved her?”

“Well, no, but she knows.” The elevator doors opened, Gregor glowered at the people waiting outside, none stepped forward, and the doors closed again. “Of course she knows. Why else would I be doing all this?”

“You know, you and Mikhail make fun of me for watching Oprah, but Misha is a monk, and you’re a Neanderthal.” Alex folded his arms and leaned against the railing. “You make me proud to be a metrosexual.”

“What?” He couldn’t understand a thing Alex was saying. “What the fuck are you talking about? Just tell me what I’m supposed to do!”

“Grisha, you’ve got to make with the nice.”