Brazen

6

The small apartment had an even smaller balcony that overlooked the main road. Sam hadn't noticed when she'd first arrived because she'd had other things on her mind-like thanking God she still wasn't stranded in the desert-nor had she become aware of it afterward, because a sexy man had stolen her breath away. But now that she'd discovered the sanctuary, she made it a point to take refuge there now.

Sitting on a folding lounge chair, she curled her legs up and took in the view of the dark road lit only by a full moon and the occasional headlights of a departing vehicle. One by one, the last of the cars pulled out of the graveled parking lot below. Soon not even the roar of an engine intruded on her solitude. A cool breeze wafted on the night air, much the way contentment floated through her veins. Not even tonight's incident marred the sense of peace she'd found.

Peace she shouldn't be feeling. Not when she was lying to a man she'd grown to respect, dodging honest questions because she was afraid that if she let him get to know her, she'd want to know more about him, too. How would she leave then? How would she walk out on a life and a man she feared suited her far better than the ones she'd be returning to all too soon?

Choices, she thought. Life came down to choices, and she'd made hers the day she put Tom's ring on her finger. It wasn't important that worry over her father's future had prompted her decision, or that she'd promised her dying mother. She'd accepted. Given her word. Which made her time with Mac temporary. She'd just live their fantasy to its fullest before slipping away too soon. Her heart thudded in silent but furious protest.

The slam of the door jarred the otherwise silent night. She had company. When he joined her outside, he filled the small area with his presence. Big, solid, comforting. That was Mac. If he was in a room, she knew it. Seconds later, comforting turned to wanting. A smile touched her lips for the first time in more than an hour and she welcomed the change.

Everything Mac made her feel was good. Without waiting for an invitation, he swung one leg around and fit himself behind her back, drawing her into his arms.

Why fight it, Sam thought, nestling into his embrace. "I overreacted tonight," she murmured.

"Tossing the beer in his lap? Nah, he deserved it."

"Not that." Next time she'd try for a pitcher instead of a glass. "Getting so emotional."

"Somebody grabs you after you say no, I'd say you have a right to any damn emotion you please."

"I guess. I knew I had nothing to worry about. We were in a public place." And she'd known Mac was standing guard, and she trusted him to be there if she needed him.

"A bar is a different atmosphere than what I'm used to. In the workplace, the episode downstairs would have been sexual harassment." His hands flattened on her belly and she relaxed against him. Warmth traveled from his body to hers in a never-ending current that sensitized her skin and caused a delicious pulse to hammer in her veins.

"Are you saying that guy didn't sexually harass you tonight?" He lifted her shirt and stroked her stomach as he spoke.

"No, just that I wasn't prepared and I should have been." She'd removed her bra when she'd changed into the oversize T-shirt she was wearing, and now his thumbs softly grazed the bottom of her breasts in a rhythmic lulling motion.

She sighed and tried to focus on their conversation, although it was hard to do when his roughened fingertips stroked her already-charged skin. "But a stranger whispering what he thought were erotic things in my ear, and putting his hands on my body…" She trailed off because even as she spoke, the realization sunk in.

What would her marriage bed be but a place where a stranger pawed her, groped her… His hands on her stomach, not Mac's. Hopefully he'd leave out the titillating whisperings in her ear, she thought as she shivered with dread and disgust. Oh, God, how could she have agreed to the marriage? How could she go through with it now, having known Mac? She felt her stomach muscles quiver and tremble.

Without warning, his fingertips, along with the blissful gliding motion, stilled. "What's wrong?" She tipped her head back so she could see his face, and immediately understood what she read in his eyes.

Turning so she could face him, she ended up straddling his legs and placing her knees on the outside of his thighs. Of course, that meant his groin nestled between her legs, full, warm and inviting, but she couldn't concern herself with that now, either. The heated throbbing wouldn't be ignored, but she tried because his feelings meant more to her than sexual need. Uh-oh.

She forced herself to deal with what was important and looked at Mac. "Whatever you're thinking, stop it now."

"Even if it's true?"

She met his gaze. Clear, slate-colored eyes stared back. "It isn't." This man had ceased being a stranger the moment he'd caught her in his arms.

A connection existed between them, one she didn't understand and couldn't explain. If she was certain of nothing else, she knew he felt it, too. "If you'd stop worrying that I'll fall apart like some china doll, you'd know it, too." She placed her hand on his chest. "Listen to your instincts. Are they telling you we're strangers?"

"They're telling me I want you." A mild way of putting it, Mac thought. Need might be an even better word.

"No, that's your body talking." She laughed a husky, sexy sound that turned him on even more. Considering his erection pulsed between the vee of her legs, he figured she was right.

She was right about something else, too. No way in hell was he a stranger whispering erotic things in her ear. But what was he to Samantha? He had no idea. She never said. In fact, she'd made it clear she never would.

Since he was keeping secrets of his own, he hadn't wanted to pressure her. He'd hoped in time she would confide in him of her own free will, but that day seemed far off. He'd gotten involved in the first place because he sensed there was something special about Samantha. He had omitted a few details because he desired her respect. Now that he had it, parting was the last thing he intended to do.

"So have we resolved that dilemma?" she asked, easing herself more fully on top of him.

He exhaled a harsh groan as her warm body, covered only by thin lace, settled over his groin. Was it his imagination or had her seductive grin, an upward turn of her lips, gotten bolder as their time together wore on?

He grabbed her neck and brought her head within inches of his own. Her soft scent enveloped him, cushioning him in a cocoon of desire. "One dilemma down, one more to go," he said, before covering her lips with his.

He tasted her, first with his tongue, then with his whole mouth, until not only did she kiss him back, but she gave as good as she got. She devoured him and all he could do was feel-her pliant mouth moving against his, her hands plowing through his hair and the urgent thrusts of her hips as she tried to get closer.

She bucked against him, searching for fulfillment until he felt himself grow and swell against her damp heat. When she'd correctly decided that wouldn't work, she sat up, which pressed her concealed flesh tighter against him, and reached for the hem of her T-shirt.

Too soon, too fast, he thought. Much more and there wouldn't be time for everything else he wanted to do to her, with her. "Sam…" His belated grab for the shirt came too late. She'd pulled it off and tossed it aside before he even had a chance to stop her.

"Sweet heaven," he muttered. Faced with her bare body covered only by a scrap of underwear, those rounded breasts and her "come hither" expression, he didn't give a damn that she'd flung her T-shirt over the balcony rail.

He bracketed her hips in his palms and looked up at her. Violet eyes glazed with passion stared into his.

"I can't hold off any longer."

Her eyes darkened even further. "Did I ask you to?"

Mac took her words as an invitation. Easing the bit of lace down her legs, he was rewarded when she caught her breath in anticipation. Desire warred with gratitude for his good fortune. Someday he'd have to thank whoever rented her that clunker of a car, but right now, he couldn't think of anything but Samantha.

Juggling their position, he sat upright against the lounge, forcing her to move and balance on her knees before him.

"Listen, Mac…" Even the way she said his name turned him on. "I think I was too… forward, that's it, too forward." She gestured over the balcony to where she'd tossed her shirt. "I never should have done that…"

"Did anyone ever tell you that you ramble when you're nervous?" He grinned, realizing the intimacy of the position she'd maneuvered had finally gotten to her.

Those contradictions not only intrigued him, they aroused him. Even her rosy blush made him hard. He wanted this woman and the innocent joy she brought to his life with a fierceness he'd never known.

"No. That is, I'm only nervous when I'm…" Her hands gestured to her beautifully naked body. "I mean I'm only nervous… when I'm with you… like this." She tried to cover herself with her hands. "So I think…"

His fingers slipped from her hips to her thighs. She gasped aloud. "Don't think, Sammy Jo." Her eyelids opened wide. "And definitely don't move." He parted her legs with his hands, dipped his head and tasted her warm, waiting flesh.

If he died and went straight to hell in the next moment, he wouldn't give a damn, Mac thought. Because he'd just been as close to heaven as a mortal could get.

Her knees buckled and her body swayed. Not exactly the reaction Sam had envisioned having, but oh, sweet heaven… And that's where he was bringing her… now that he'd switched their positions and lowered her onto the lounge chair. In her wildest fantasy-and since meeting Mac she'd had plenty-Sam had never dreamed it could be like this.

The skin on her thighs tingled, chafed from where his whiskers had rubbed her flesh. Her muscles quivered, seeking more of the exquisite sensations.

"Don't ever shave that mustache," she murmured. "At least not while I'm around." A little voice reminded her that wouldn't be much longer. She ruthlessly pushed it aside.

"Wouldn't think of it, sweetheart," he chuckled. And then his mouth worked its way up her inner thigh, purposefully letting his mustache trail against her skin once more. At least she thought it was on purpose, because the rasp of male whiskers had her body jerking upward, nearly taking her off the seat.

"Easy, sweetheart." He spoke in a husky voice, then let his tongue soothe the chafed surface on her thighs.

"Easy for you to…" Her words ended abruptly as he lowered his head and his mouth covered her there. Again. She shut her eyes and fell backward on the chair. She hadn't known what she was setting herself up for or how incredible it would feel, but Mac was teaching her. Apparently, her body learned quickly.

Waves of pleasure coursed over her each time his agile tongue darted in and out of her pulsing flesh. Need curled in her muscles and her stomach contracted. His mustache worked in erotic conjunction with his mouth and she arched her back, silently reaching higher, searching for more, asking for…

"Mac?"

He met her gaze, and the desire she read in his eyes shook her to the core. Then he shocked her again by placing his palm over the juncture of her thighs and rocking gently with the heel of his hand. She moaned at the assault, trembling as the incredible pressure inside her continued and was startled to realize he watched her the entire time. Though she should have been embarrassed, his gaze turned her on.

With each upward thrust of his hand, with each jerk of her hips, his eyes darkened even more. Pleasure rolled through her. She wanted to wait, she wanted him inside her, she wanted… to scream… and she did, as she tumbled over the peak of the most spectacular climax she'd ever had. The subsequent waves pulsed and pounded through her body long after she'd crested and fallen.

At some point she must have closed her eyes. When she opened them again, he stood by the chair and scooped her into his arms. "Where are we going?" she asked.

"Inside. You woke most of the wildlife and I wasn't even inside you. Can't risk you rousing the nearest neighbors."

She grinned, the smile of a satisfied woman, she knew. "How far off are they?"

"Well over a mile." He lay her down in the center of the double bed. His eyes twinkled with mischief. "But I have faith in you."

Before she could reply, he began stripping off his clothes, rendering Sam speechless, which considering her case of nerves was saying a lot. What was about to happen… Well, it was the real thing.

She told herself to grow up. After all, this wasn't her first time. But it was with Mac, a little voice in her head warned. And you've given him so much of yourself, what's left? that persistent voice asked. She pushed the thought aside, and when he joined her on the bed, she welcomed him with open arms. Because he would be giving her everything she needed from this week.

And more, that voice said. This time, Sam didn't just ignore the voice, she smothered it by burying herself in his strong arms and solid body. He rolled her onto her back and straddled her, catching her hands above her head with one hand.

As she stared into his dark eyes, desire struck her again. Hard. His breathing was labored, as if he'd been the one who'd just… She shook her head to dislodge the memory of having his hands on her body, his eyes watching her as she came. But the image stayed and she couldn't help wondering, Was such continuous passion between two people rare?

Not if the chemistry was right, she told herself. And that's what she and Mac shared. Chemistry, that's all. She realized she was telling herself an awful lot of things tonight. She hoped they weren't lies-she had no choice but to believe them.

Not if she wanted to remain whole. Remain the same Samantha who'd walked into this bar a few days ago. Good luck, sweetheart. Oh, Lord. That was Mac's voice she heard in her head.

His lips nuzzled the side of her neck and she sighed. His hands slipped to the juncture of her thighs and she knew he found her wet and wanting. She lifted her hips as he eased one finger inside her. A soft moan escaped her lips and another finger joined the first.

"I'd like to take my time," he groaned, arousing her with penetrating thrusts. "To wait."

Her head fell back against the pillow. "Why?"

He chuckled, a relaxed sound that eased her mind. "Because I want you to remember this." As if realizing he'd just reminded them the end was coming, his laughter ceased.

Her chest constricted at the same time warning bells sounded in her brain. Ignore them, she insisted. Only this time, it wasn't so easy. But dwelling on the inevitable wouldn't serve any purpose.

Leaning forward, she eased one hand out of his grip and grasped him in her fingers, running her hand down the length of his erection and back again to the tip. A small drop of liquid coated her palm.

This time she couldn't control her thoughts. Life, love, babies. Mac's life, his love, his babies. All possible, but not for her. If this were another time, another place, she'd forget caution, forget being sensible and go with her feelings. But her emotions had to remain locked away. If she didn't acknowledge them, then they didn't exist.

Right? No little voice answered. Right? Silence. Oh, she had a bad feeling about this.

His groan echoed in the small room, bringing her back to the present. "Mac?"

Sweat beaded on his forehead. "Sorry, sweetheart, but waiting won't work."

"I don't recall asking you to wait." She smiled and let him retake her hand and lock it back with the other one above her head. "But you do have to trust me if you want to reach for that box over there."

He grinned. "You won't touch?"

"Not unless it's necessary."

He released her hands to grab for protection. She immediately plucked the foil packet from his fingers, feeling little embarrassment. With each successive moment of intimacy, Sam felt less inhibited. She could be herself with him, something that had never occurred before… and never would again.

"You promised not to touch." His lips twitched in amusement.

She shook her head. "I said I'd touch only if necessary. And it is." Because if she didn't touch him, she might die and then she'd never experience having him inside her. So he had no choice but to forgive her for taking liberties with her promises. Just as she had no choice but to forgive herself for feeling when that hadn't been part of the plan.

She covered his erection with one languid stroke, making sure her hands grazed and lingered longer than strictly necessary, purposefully playful and light. But as he raised himself over her, Sam realized she wasn't playing anymore.

She lifted her pelvis at the same time he grabbed her hips in his hands and joined their bodies with a smooth, easy thrust. Then he let out a groan, a deep, masculine grunt of satisfaction that coiled her stomach into an even tighter knot. He stilled, letting her body stretch to accommodate him. The gesture was thoughtful, but unfortunately for Sam, unnecessary. Her body accepted him like a lost part of itself had come home at last. Every muscle inside her felt him pulsing and alive, filling her. Completing her.

Oh, sweet heaven, she was in more trouble than she thought. Her eyes grew damp. Was that a tear trickling down her cheek? Oh, no. No, no, no, no.

"Sam?"

She forced her eyelids open and plastered a phony smile on her face. "Yes?"

His thumb caught an errant tear and he raised his finger to his mouth for a taste. "Salty," he said. "I hurt you."

"Oh, no." That much she could say honestly. She lifted her hips, drawing him in deeper, groaning at the penetration and perfection she'd found. "How could that hurt me?" How could anything this man did ever hurt her?

"Oh, baby, it can't." Then he surged into her completely, losing himself in her.

Fully impaled on his strong erection, she decided since she'd come this far, she might as well enjoy the rest of the trip. But as she began to move, to grind her hips against him and recapture the waves of delight she'd felt earlier, she realized this was much more than a vacation gone right. This was beyond fun and games, beyond sex.

She'd lost the ability to hold a part of herself back and found herself giving it to Mac instead. As he pumped himself into her, each time harder than the last, her body rose to meet his. The sighs, the moans, the gentle coaxing, they came from her lips but also from her heart… because her emotions swamped her, forcing her to let go, to give without reservation.

Her body felt full to bursting, when without warning he slowed the pace. "Don't stop," she whispered. If he kept moving and she kept feeling, she wouldn't be able to think. And Sam wanted to remain lost in Mac with no intrusions.

"In a second. First I need this." His hands roved over her breasts, cupping and caressing her already-hardened nipples, drawing them into tight distended peaks.

"Oh, Mac. Please…"

"I will. Just as soon as I do one more thing." He pulled her upward, so she felt every hard ridge of his arousal, stopping so she was poised at the tip of his erection.

"What?"

Bending his head, he opened his mouth over her breast and sucked on her tender nipple. He nibbled, tasted and soothed, all the while rocking her swollen body against his rigid muscle. Waves didn't wash over her, they pummeled at her and demanded release. "Oh, my…" She choked on her words just as he lunged into her again.

As he surged inside her, seeming to grow larger and pulse stronger with each thrust, Sam didn't need long. He'd pushed her close to the edge already and she didn't have far to go. So when he stiffened and groaned her name, his final plunge pushed her into the ultimate oblivion she so desperately sought.

Her breathing came in labored gasps and her body trembled as she opened her eyes to find the world still waiting for her. The world she wanted but couldn't have… with the man who still remained inside her. The man she didn't just have sex with, but had made love to instead.

"You are so incredibly… beautiful."

In her soul, she knew he meant more than surface beauty and she tucked the knowledge away in a private space in her heart. But he had to stop before things became too serious between them. Before she did something stupid. Like fall in love with him.

She forced a laugh. "I bet you say that to all your women afterward."

He raised an eyebrow in blatant disbelief. "Right," he muttered. "And every woman I've ever been with is thinking about the others while I'm still inside them."

She cringed as a wounded expression flashed briefly across his face. She'd meant to protect herself, instead she'd hurt him. He started to withdraw from her when she realized she couldn't let him go. Not like this.

"Mac, wait." She curled her fingers into his back, stopping him. "I'm sorry. Please… Forget what I just said. Put it behind us, let's just pick up where we…" She glanced down. Their bodies were still joined and she felt him within her. Heat and desire swamped her again, along with a whole host of emotions she refused to name. "Oh, I don't know what I'm saying, except don't leave me."

"You're rambling," he said, and grinned. His cocky smile put her at ease. At least he wasn't angry. If she could put aside her emotions, they could, in fact, pick up where they'd left off. She felt the beginnings of a smile of her own.

"Rambling's a good sign," he said, his fingertips tracing her lips. Her tongue darted out to taste his salty skin. She watched as his eyes clouded even more.

"Why's that?" she asked.

"Because according to you, you're only nervous when you're with me… like this. So I'll excuse that reference to other women."

Part of her was relieved he was so willing to drop the subject, while another part wished he'd reassure her that there were no other women… none that counted, anyway. But she had no right to want what she couldn't offer herself.

"Relax, sweetheart. I won't hold it against you." As if to prove it, he paused for a long, hard, meaningful kiss. His tongue licked her lips, then probed at her mouth until she let him inside.

When he came up for air, Sam was gasping herself. "I'll be right back, and then we can pick up where we left off."

With Mac gone, Sam curled into a tight ball, wrapping the blanket around her. Then, despite the warnings her heart was giving her, she rolled against him when he came back to bed and cuddled into his warmth.

"Thank you," she murmured.

"For?"

"For not being angry, for being there… for being you."

He brushed a kiss over her lips. "I could say the same. You are something special, you know."

"No, I'm…"

"Yes, you are," he said firmly. "I've never known anyone like you."

"Mac, don't. You don't realize what you're…"

"You're right, I don't. You jump each time I get close, and I'm not talking about sex." He let out a frustrated groan. "But this time…" She placed her finger over his lips.

Her heart warred with her mind. She wanted to let him finish, to hear what he had to say and enjoy the closeness they were beginning to find. But that would be selfish because why let him in emotionally when she still had to walk away in the end? If the choice were hers, she'd stay in this bed forever.

The thought sent her plummeting back into reality. Hers wasn't the only life at stake. Her father's well-being and recovery hung in the balance. She needed his bills paid, his mind clear and his way of life assured. Marrying Tom was the only solution… even if she loved Mac. Oh, God.

Unable to cope with that, she thought of him instead. To let him in now would only hurt him later, and he deserved so much better than that. Pushing him away was the only form of honesty she could give, so she reached between them and grasped him in her hand, surprised to find him hard and aroused again. "You said something about 'this time'?" Her voice came out a husky purr.

Desire filled his eyes, but so did dismay. "I know what you're doing."

So did she. Distracting his emotions by turning him on. She wasn't playing fair, but in her heart, she was protecting him. She forced a smile. "I should hope so."

"Sam…"

She silenced him by stroking his flesh until he groaned and rolled her on top of him. His erection pulsed against her, making her wet, making her need him inside her.

She met his dark gaze. "I want you again."

He grinned. "Don't sound so surprised."

She'd meant to distract him and succeeded in arousing them both instead. She'd accomplished her goal, but instead of feeling good, she was aching inside for all that she wanted and all that could never be.

Not wanting to think anymore, she rubbed herself against him, coaxing him to do exactly as he suggested earlier. Sam lost herself with the man she loved, but couldn't claim as her own.