Breaking Creed

44

Amanda watched from her window perch. She had overheard Hannah talking on the phone. There had been an urgency in the woman’s ordinarily calm voice. It made Amanda’s heart start to race even before she heard Hannah say something about an FBI agent.

Were they calling in the feds to take her away?

Every time she tried sneaking out of her room she could hear Hannah at the end of the hallway, as if she was purposely watching for and guarding against Amanda’s escape. Wasn’t it just yesterday that she didn’t care?

Other than the clothes she had worn at the airport, the only belongings she had were in the small square purse that had been strapped across her body. Hannah had left it on the nightstand, but Amanda figured the woman had gone through it. Didn’t matter, except that the passport was issued under her real name. Leandro had said it was easier that way, and since her mother obviously didn’t care about Amanda, she’d never report her missing. As far as she was concerned, Amanda was out of her house, and that’s exactly what she wanted.

She stretched and grabbed the purse without leaving her lookout post. There wasn’t much in the small bag: her passport, a few bucks (Leandro didn’t want her carrying more than twenty dollars), some throat lozenges, a lip gloss (though she never used it, but Zapata said all teenage girls carried one), and the new iPod Leandro had given her.

He had presented the iPod to her the last night they were together. She had always wanted one but couldn’t remember ever telling him that. He could be so considerate like that. On the flight to Atlanta she had listened to some of the music he had already downloaded. Maybe she expected Spanish love songs. She admitted she was disappointed that most of them were salsa, with no lyrics, or hard rock with words she couldn’t decipher. He had also downloaded a few videos and games and a bunch of apps. Amanda had no idea what some of the apps were for.

She turned the iPod on and watched it go through the process of powering up and connecting to whatever it connected to. Her eyes were more interested in the length of driveway she could see through the trees. She didn’t want to miss Ryder Creed’s Jeep when it brought the FBI. The dings from the iPod startled her — one after another, a succession of them. She glanced down to see the message box icon with the number 9.

How was it possible that she had nine messages?

Her palm began to sweat under the weight of the gadget. She didn’t want to look. She didn’t want to see what they were telling her, the names they were calling her, the threats that were being made. Maybe they were Leandro telling her he loved her. She had thought of him as her knight in shining armor when she first met him. Now she wasn’t sure if she was feeling sick because she was excited that he might be missing her, or if she was still scared of him.

And just as easily as she had turned the iPod on, she pressed the button and listened to it shut down. She was shoving it back into her purse when Hannah came barging into the room.

“Don’t you ever knock?”

“It’s my house.”

“Even when you have a guest?”

“You’re not a guest.”

Yet even as she said it, Amanda watched the woman drop a set of clean towels on the corner of the bed. She had certainly taken care of Amanda as though she was a guest, but Amanda wouldn’t push the point. Besides, she needed to think of herself as a prisoner instead. She couldn’t be caught off guard.

“You’re ratting me out to the FBI.”

Hannah made a clucking noise with her tongue and shook her head.

“You’ve been eavesdropping,” she said. She wasn’t surprised.

“But it’s true, right?”

“Child, the FBI’s not coming for you.”

“I don’t like you calling me child.”

“And I don’t care what you like or don’t like. Until we can get ahold of your momma, you’ll—”

“Oh my God! You’re not trying to call my mom, are you?”

Amanda could see in Hannah’s surprise that she had revealed too much panic. She wished she could take it back and tried to steady herself and her voice when she added, “My mom won’t come for me, so you’re just wasting your time.”

“And why is that?”

“She doesn’t want me. She told me to get out of her house.”

“Child, sometimes parents say things they don’t mean.”

“Oh, she meant it.”

“All you’ve been through? She wouldn’t have wanted that.”

“She doesn’t care. Besides, she wouldn’t believe it. And I won’t go back there.”

Amanda only now realized she had pulled her feet up onto the chair and she was hugging her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth. She saw the concern in Hannah’s eyes and she hated that this woman might pity her. Shock would be better than pity, and that’s why she said what she did next. Because she wanted to wipe the pity off Hannah’s face.

“I’d rather swallow cocaine balloons than have her boyfriend continue to stick his dick down my throat.”