Broken

If

ON THE TRIP BACK, I CAUGHT SNATCHES OF CONVERSATION. I struggled to follow it, only to hear the words that would let me fall back to sleep. At last they came: Clay was alive. Still unconscious, and burning up with fever, but alive.

I drifted back to sleep.

When I awoke, my first thought was that I was in a hospital bed. The sheets were cool and crisp, the air around me equally cold, blinds drawn, lights out, room blanketed in the eerie hush reserved for those who are recovering or dying, the only sounds the whir of the air-conditioning fan. The only thing lacking was the stink of disinfectant and overcooked food.

As I roused myself, I dimly heard Jeremy’s voice in the next room, urgent and frustrated. I jumped up. My whole body screamed in protest and I froze, hovering there. Had I been hurt? No. There was a cut on my hand, but the protest was from pure exhaustion, my body having tasted rest and screaming for more. I started sinking back into the covers-

Clay.

I scrambled up. A hand closed on my bare arm.

“It’s okay,” Nick whispered from beside the bed. “Lay back down. Rest.”

“W-where’s Clay?”

“He’s fi-” Nick stopped himself, as if unable to force the lie out. “He’s…okay. Jeremy’s looking after him. And that doctor, Tolliver.”

I tried to get up again, but Nick’s grip tightened.

“Tolliver?” I said. “How can we be sure-?”

“That he won’t take revenge?” Nick finished. “Because Jeremy trusts him. And Jeremy’s right there, watching every step. If anyone can help Clay, it’s Tolliver. He has every kind of medicine Clay could need. That’s what Zoe does for him-steals supplies so he can give them to shelters and stuff.”

“I want to see-” I began.

“He’s okay, Elena.” Nick’s gaze met mine. “Would I say that if he wasn’t?”

I searched his eyes and saw worry, but not panic.

“If he’s okay, why can’t I see-?”

“Because you’ll get upset and Jeremy has enough to worry about right now.”

I blinked, not sure I’d heard right. Those words and that tone didn’t sound like the Nick I knew. He slid closer, arm going around me.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” he said. “You walk in there and see Clay lying on the bed, unconscious, medical stuff all over, you’re going to get upset. You know they’re working on him, but if it doesn’t look like it-if they just seem to be standing around talking-it’ll drive you nuts. Same with Clay if it was you lying in there.”

“And that will only upset Jeremy more,” I said softly.

“Because he’ll want to do something. Do more. You’re in here with me because Tolliver wants you in bed. Off your feet. What happened today, out there…that’s too much for someone so close to having a baby.” A small smile. “Babies.”

I swallowed. He was right, but there was another, more immediate danger to my babies now: Hull, who could find me, find us, wherever I went. Who was probably outside the hotel right now, watching and waiting-

I shook it off, and turned to the adjoining door, straining to hear Jeremy’s voice.

I longed to race to Clay’s side, but I had to trust that Jeremy would do everything in his power to help Clay, and that was as certain as the sun rising tomorrow morning.

“What-?” My throat was dry and I had to clear it before trying again. “What exactly is wrong? Is it the infection? Are they going to-?”

Nick pressed a glass of water to my lips.

As I drank, he answered. “It is the infection. Or, right now, it’s mostly the fever caused by the infection. They got the fever down enough so it’s not dangerous, but it’s not going away.”

“Did he wake up? Is he conscious?”

Nick hesitated.

“Nick, please,” I said. “Whatever you tell me, it’s not going to be as bad as what I can imagine. I’m only going to get more worked up if I don’t know.”

“He…he was delirious for a bit. They had to sedate him. He’d started to Change and the noise…they had to do it. Now the fever’s down, and Jeremy wants to wake him up so he can have some say in what they decide, but they’re afraid if he does wake up and he’s still delirious-”

“Have some say?” I cut in. “In what they decide about his arm. That’s what you mean, isn’t it? They’re thinking of amputating.”

Someone knocked on the hall door before Nick could answer me. It was Jaime.

“Oh, geez, I’m sorry,” she said when Nick opened the door and she saw me. “I wasn’t sure which room…It’s the next one, right? I needed to speak to Jeremy.”

“Come through here,” I said.

She nodded and took a hesitant step toward the foot of the bed. “How are you? I mean, I know you must not be-I was just going to talk to Jeremy. I had an idea…”

“He’s right in there,” I said.

Nick grabbed the adjoining door. As he swung it open, Antonio turned sharply. He must have been covering it, in case Nick failed to persuade me to stay put. I lifted a hand, and he managed a smile, his face drawn and pale, then ushered Jaime in and closed the door.

I crawled back into bed and pulled up the covers. Nick hovered, as if expecting me to resume our conversation about Clay. I patted the spot beside me and he climbed on, lying atop the covers, back against the headboard. I reached up for his hand. Holding it, I turned onto my side, as if ready to fall back to sleep. Then I closed my eyes and strained to hear the conversation in the other room.

“-idea for catching Matthew Hull,” Jaime was saying.

She was still right on the other side of the door, her voice clear.

“Catching…?” Jeremy’s voice was muffled, then it came closer, as if he was walking toward her. “Oh, yes. Hull. Thank you, Jaime. I’ll…I’ll talk to you about this later. If you need a lift to the airport, Antonio can-”

“Sure,” Antonio cut in. “Whenever you’re ready to go. We should be leaving in a couple of hours ourselves, as soon as Clay’s fever breaks. I can run you over now, or you can wait and catch a ride out with us.”

“You’re…you’re leaving?” Jaime said. “But…you can’t. You need to catch Hull. Not just for Elena. To fix Clay. Close that portal, and Clay will get better.”

“No,” Jeremy said, his voice low, words clipped. “I said that’s what Hull claimed. I’m sorry, Jaime. I don’t mean to be short with you; I’m just angry with myself for letting it go this far. I’m taking Clay and Elena back to Stonehaven, where they should have been all along.”

“But if Hull’s the controller and if you kill him-”

“And if I could wave my magic wand-” Jeremy cut himself off and made a noise almost like a growl. “I’m sorry, Jaime. I don’t want to snap at you. But I’ve had enough of these magical ‘ifs.’ Do this, do that, and everything will be better. From the start, Clay wanted to take Elena back to Stonehaven, batten down the hatches and protect her. We stayed because I thought it was best. Just do this one last thing, and she’ll be safe. But she isn’t. And now he isn’t. And I’m not playing the ‘magic wand’ game anymore. What will cure Clayton is medicine, and what will protect Elena is her Pack. We’re going home, where I can do that.”

In the silence that followed, I knew Jeremy had moved off again, returning to Clay’s side. Discussion over. My fingers dug into the mattress as my stomach flip-flopped. Home? We couldn’t leave. Not now. We weren’t safe. Clay. Our babies. Pain ran through my abdomen. A cramp? Oh, God, no. Please no. I had to keep them inside me, where they were safe, until I could make sure it was safe for them out here.

If I went home, I’d only take the danger with me. Our house wouldn’t be a safe haven, but a fortress. Clay would lose his arm, and with it, his place in the world. No longer able to protect his Alpha, his Pack, his mate, his children…

“We can end this now.” Jaime’s voice, on the other side of the door, so perfectly echoed my thoughts that I jumped.

Nick squeezed my fingers, his free hand patting my shoulder, lulling me back to sleep. I forced myself to relax and listen.

“I think I can catch one of those zombies,” Jaime said. “If I catch one, she or he can probably lead me to Hull, the controller.”

“Think…if…probably…” Antonio said. “Jaime, I’m sorry, but Jeremy’s right. We’ve had enough ifs. If you really thought you could do this, you would have mentioned it sooner-”

“I didn’t know it sooner. That-that woman Zoe took me to. The necromancer. She said something to me about calling a zombie, and I finally figured out what she meant. If a zombie is dead, then all I need is some artifact from one and I can use that to call the zombie, just like a spirit-”

“Jeremy’s going home, Jaime. He can’t help you-”

“I don’t expect him to. You come with me. Or Nick. Leave Jeremy here with Elena and Clay, and let him get ready to go home. I can find Hull. You or Nick can kill him. Done. Without bothering Jeremy.”

Antonio’s sigh rippled through the door. “He won’t go for it, Jaime. With Clay sedated, Elena wiped out by exhaustion and Hull out there waiting for his chance, Jeremy wants all hands on deck. He’s even called Karl Marsten to meet us at Stonehaven. Demanded his help fortifying the battlements, or he can forget about getting into the Pack. Now for Jeremy to do that-”

“He’s serious. I know. But-”

“Why don’t you come back to Stonehaven with us? If you have the time, and you feel safe enough being there, come with us and talk to Jeremy in a day or so, when everything’s under control. He’ll listen then.”

A few more murmured words, but I didn’t listen because I knew they wouldn’t listen, not Antonio, not Jeremy, their only concern being getting us out of this hotel before Hull made his move. When the door opened and Jaime stepped back into our room, I shot up.

“How’s Clay?” I said. “Any change? Have they decided anything?”

“Uh…no. I-I didn’t really…” She turned, as if to go back in and ask.

“No, don’t,” I said. “They probably won’t give you a decent update anyway. Nick?”

He shifted in the bed. “If anything changed, they’d let me know, Elena.”

“Please?” I looked up at him. “Just check. Jaime’s right here. She can watch me for ten seconds while you check.”

He shook his head, but climbed out of bed and headed for the adjoining door. When he went through, he left it ajar behind him. I motioned Jaime over. She hesitated. I gestured urgently, my other hand pointing at the open door. She crossed to the side of the bed.

“Meet me outside,” I said. “Under the terrace. Ten minutes.”

She frowned and opened her mouth, but Nick’s return cut her short.

“So you’re coming back to Stonehaven with us?” I said to her.

She paused, then nodded.

“Good.”

“I-” She looked over at Nick. “I guess I’ll go pack then.”

I nodded and waited for her to leave, then let Nick give me the non-update.

There were two ways to get past Nick. Prey on his trusting nature and trick him, or clock him over the head and run. I picked option two. Less cruel. I’ve tricked Nick before. More than once. Given the choice between betrayal and a potential concussion, he’d pick the latter.

So, when he wasn’t looking, I grabbed my hairbrush. As he turned, I hit him. He hesitated, and for one terrible moment I thought it hadn’t worked. Then he slumped to the bed.

I checked his breathing and his pupils, making sure the blow hadn’t been too hard. Then I lifted him into the bed and stuffed the pillows under the covers beside him, making a human-sized figure. It wouldn’t trick Antonio when he came to collect us, but it would probably pass muster if he just glanced in the door to check.

Next: shoes and cell phone. Then I was out the door.