Broken

CHAPTER 27

They told him he had a great deal to explain.

He crumbled instantly.

They told him his situation was serious and that he risked a custodial sentence, that there was much that warranted investigation and had to be examined in greater detail. They told him that Katrine was sixteen years old and that her family lived at Bragernes Ridge, her father was a dentist, she had two brothers; they knew she was a heroin addict and they had feared the worst. She rarely visited them and then she would talk about him, about Alvar Eide, about how she sometimes stayed with him. That he was a kind of friend, the only one she had.

They told him they found it hard to believe him, they kept asking him to repeat his story and there were many unanswered questions. But why, Eide, they asked him, baffled, why didn't you call us? Alvar was not used to explaining himself to others. He stuttered and stammered, he sat in the bare interrogation room looking at the floor. There were no windows here, just naked, cold walls. A camera was attached to the ceiling, there were a table and some chairs. The walls were painted white, there was a fluorescent tube in the ceiling giving out an almost blue-white light.

'That's just the way I am,' he ventured. 'I removed the problem from my house, my parents taught me to do this, it's the only way I know and I'm a useless man.'

Did he have any addictions?

He shook his head vigorously.

Had he ever suffered from mental health problems?

'No, no, I'm not one of those people, I just lost my head. It's only happened that one time!'

The two officers questioning him exchanged glances. As if they were not quite sure of what they were actually dealing with. They were calm, but very serious. Had he, at any point, wanted her out of his life?

Yes, there had been times. But as time passed, he had grown accustomed to her, she came and went as she pleased.

'Did she ever steal from you?'

'Only a key. I let her keep it, she carried it on a string around her neck.'

'Do you understand how serious it is, Eide? That the money you gave her led directly to her destruction?'

'It was like sliding,' he replied then. 'The speed accelerated and I couldn't slam on the brakes. I closed my eyes and let it happen. I waited for the big crash.'

'Now it's happened. She's dead,' they said.

'I've been expecting it,' he said. 'I knew it would end like this, she said it was what she wanted.'

'She was sixteen years old, she should have been saved. Did you try to get help for her?'

'She said that no one was prepared to help her, that there were no beds, that she was too young. I don't know much about these things, but I thought she wanted to be an outsider. She didn't enjoy being with other people and neither do I.'

'We don't completely understand your actions, Alvar Eide. It appears that you're intelligent and well adjusted.'

'It might seem like that. If you don't look too closely.'

'According to your boss, Ole Kristian Krantz, you're reliable and solid as a rock. You're brilliant at your job. Your flat is in good condition and well looked after and so are you.'

'Yes. I know. What I can't handle are the streets filled with people. There I have no control and anything can happen. How badly can this end?' he blurted out.

They cited the Penal Code.

'Section two hundred and thirty-nine. "Anyone who by means of threats, or in a motor vehicle, or by any other means causes the death of another," we repeat, "by any other means causes the death of another, will be punished by up to three years' imprisonment, or in aggravating circumstances up to six years. If mitigating circumstances exist a fine may be imposed."'

He placed his hands on the bare table.

'I'm actually a good person,' he said. 'You've got it all wrong.'

'They all say that,' they replied. 'We deal with facts. You were the last person to see her alive, you carried her out of your flat. The postmortem will tell us how she died, and we will then decide what to charge you with. You never called for help, you never resuscitated her.'

He looked at them in disbelief.

'Her eyes were covered by a film. I could see at once that it was too late. I was scared that I would be blamed.'

'And you think you shouldn't be?'

This silenced Alvar for a long time.

'Have you ever witnessed withdrawal close up?' he asked eventually.

Yes, they had seen it. A lot of screaming and shouting, they admitted, but nothing that they couldn't handle.

'I can't bear to see others suffer,' Alvar said, 'and that's why I keep everyone at a distance.'

'Katrine was an exception?'

'She got a hold over me, I've never experienced anything like it.'

'We're talking about a sixteen-year-old girl,' they stated.

'Oh,' he burst out, 'but she had so much power, such will! If she was in the room with us now, you would have felt her force, like a magnetic field.'

The two officers exchanged looks.

'Did the two of you ever share the same bed?' they asked suddenly.

Alvar's jaw dropped.

'I wouldn't have dreamt of it. I'm sorry to have to say this, but you're barking up the wrong tree completely.'

'You say that you gave her money. Didn't you ask for anything in return?'

'No.'

'Do you expect us to believe that?'

'I ask you to believe it because it's true.'

'And she never came on to you?'

'Never.'

'Would you have said yes? If she'd suggested something like that?'

'No.'

A long pause followed. Alvar tried to breathe calmly, he was scared of walking into a trap. He had heard that the police might try to entrap you.

'You seem very sure of this. Even though you've just told us that she was like a magnetic field.'

Alvar looked them in the eye. There was nothing left to lose. He quickly glanced up at the ceiling, he noticed the camera in the corner. The camera, which would capture his face and his voice right now, capture a few simple words he had never said out loud. The lens would capture his final confession.

'The thing is,' he said quietly, 'I prefer men.'

Again they exchanged glances. But his remark did not lead to scorn or contempt, they just shrugged, that was all. Left it there and changed the subject. Alvar was beginning to wonder if he had any rights at all. A lawyer. Was it not the case that he could simply refuse to answer any questions unless his lawyer was present? He was not entirely sure. He supposed they would have told him if this was the case, surely they were obliged to read him his rights.

'If it's true,' they asked, 'that you keep away from other people and that you're a shy man, then why did you pick a heroin addict when you finally made contact with someone?'

'She picked me,' Alvar said. 'She said she was all alone in the world, that her mother had committed suicide, that her father had left the country. I thought she was telling the truth. I'm not used to people lying. Now I've learned my lesson,' he added.

'And what about you. Are you telling the truth?'

'Every single word.'

'We hear what you're saying, we believe the actual circumstances, but we find it hard to understand them.'

'When it comes to being with other people, then I'm unfit,' he said quietly. 'I accepted that a long time ago and I have to live with the consequences. Everything that has happened is incomprehensible to me too. It's as if forces outside me have taken control, it's like heading for disaster. I won't shirk my guilt. Nor will I blame her, she was a helpless victim, she needed a strong man. She did not get that, she got me.'

'The tablets that you gave her. You never asked what they were. Can you explain that?'

'They told me they would fix everything, that was all I needed to know. I don't take drugs, I'm not interested. It was best not to know, was what I thought. Besides, I didn't have the time, her heart was about to jump out of her chest!'

At this they exchanged a very long look.

'But one thing I can tell you,' he added. 'No matter what I'd come back with, she would have taken it, she was unstoppable, she was desperate. No one would ever have stopped Katrine, she had made up her mind.'

'What about responsibility, Eide?' they said darkly. 'Do you consider yourself to be a responsible person?'

'I always have done. Now I don't know any more, perhaps I don't even know what being responsible means. The way I saw it, I was the one keeping her alive. How could I have been so wrong!'