Bump in The Night

Prologue

London, England April 2006

The bright blue door opened into another world. She could tell the minute she stepped into the entry hall that this small museum was exactly the sort of place she liked best. History was about people, not politics. How they lived was what mattered. Whoever had preserved this townhouse felt the same.

Inside it was a tribute to the Regency period. A time before trains changed village life forever, when fifty miles in a carriage was a good day’s travel. There was no electricity, computers or air-conditioning.

Jim groaned when she insisted she wanted to take the tour.

„How is this different from every other old house we’ve seen? I bet it has a basement kitchen, no bathroom, and they call the first floor the ground floor.“

„This is different because it’s in Mayfair, the primo neighborhood way back in 1800 and still one of the best addresses. It’s where die rich lived for the spring months, when they came to London to see and be seen.“

„Lots of parties.“

„Exactly.“

Jim shrugged, and she knew she could talk him into it. „Come on. We have one week left of our year abroad. We’ve spent enough time studying economics. Let’s learn a little history. Let’s see how they lived.“

„Yeah, without indoor plumbing.“

They dutifully worked their way through the belowstairs exhibits, the wine cellar, and servants’ hall; watched the cooking demonstration, accepting a sample of syllabub, a cream and sugar concoction that tasted faintly of lemon.

„Boring,“ Jim said.

„Interesting,“ she insisted.

The feeling that the tour was little more than a lecture ended when she stood in the bedroom, surrounded by the trappings of everyday life for the woman who had lived here two centuries ago.

There was a display of clothing from the inside out. No real underwear as she knew it, but a long slip that she would wear today as a dress, covered by a corset that did not look as uncomfortable as it sounded. Stockings in both silk and cotton, and charming flower-embroidered garters to hold them up.

The high-waisted gown would do nothing for her figure but she bet women with big hips and butts loved them. She smiled. Gowns like these would make life very interesting for a lover, like unwrapping a surprise package. There had been a military uniform in the man’s dressing room. If all guys wore breeches that form-fitting, then their bodies were much less of a mystery.

She stopped in front of a vanity, the top outlined with a Plexiglas cover, filled with the familiar combs and brushes, though these were silver-backed and monogrammed. A pile of coins spilled from the tiniest of purses. A „reticule,“ the posted sign called it.

„Hey, Jim, look at this.“

He was halfway out the door but came back to her side.

„The sign says coinage has changed since 1810, but surely that shiny gold one with the dent in it is way different from the usual even in those days.“

„Who knows. The money here is still a mystery to me. I hand over a pound coin and the only thing I know is that it’s way more than a dollar.“

The girl leaned closer. „It’s weird. It has writing on it, but it’s definitely not in any language I know. Is there a do-cent on this floor?“

She looked up to find that Jim was gone. But she was not alone. A man sat in a chair tucked behind the door. Dressed in something like a naval uniform, he stood up and bowed to her, his face all smiles.

„You wish to know something of the coin, miss? The writing is Arabic. The East India Company minted the coins to be used in India. This particular one never made it that far. It’s one of the few that was saved when the ship sank in the Bay of Biscay barely a week after leaving port.“ He stood up. „Would you like to hold it?“

„Yes, please.“ She turned back to the vanity, surprised to see that the Plexiglas was gone. How did they do that?

The man picked up the coin and handed it to her. Just as she bent to look at it, Jim leaned in the doorway. „Hey, let’s go. I’m starved and I want to catch that soccer match.“

„Come look at this, Jim.“

He shook his head, impatient to be gone. „I’ll meet you at Earl’s Place.“

She nodded and let him go. Walking over to the window, she inspected the coin, tested its weight and wondered what could have happened that dented it so. She turned back to the docent.

„I wish I could have known what life was like then.“

„Ach, miss,“ the man scolded, „don’t waste a wish on that. Have a seat. I can tell you all you want to know.“

One

London, England March 1817

„Here, Papa, take this. I do not want you to be sad anymore.“ Poppy held out the bright gold coin as she came into his study.

David Lindsay looked up from the bills that littered his desk. The child was only nine years old and already trying to rule the world.

„Poppy,“ he said, trying for kindness rather than exasperation, „you know I am not your father. I thought we agreed that you would call me ‘uncle.’“

„ ‘Uncle’ is what I called Mama’s friends,“ Poppy said, coming closer to his desk. „I know you are not my true papa. You are Major David Lindsay of the 28th Regiment of Foot. You fought Napoleon and beat him. But the war is over and you are the one who takes care of me and Billy. That makes you my papa.“

Her papa and not her uncle. Now he understood the difference. How many men had she called uncle? The answer to that question would tell even strangers all they needed to know about her mother. If only he could afford a decent nanny for her; but Billy needed a wet nurse far more than Poppy needed to learn what to say and what to keep to herself. He wanted any number of things for them, some a deal more urgent than a teacher for this sweedieart of a child.

He pushed his chair away from the desk and gave her the only thing he had to give. His smile drew a grin from her. She came closer and, with a nod of permission, climbed into his lap. She tried to put the coin in his hand.

„No, Poppy. I appreciate your generosity but you must keep it. For an emergency.“

She made a small sound of acceptance, wrapped her fingers tightly around the coin and leaned against his chest. „Tell me a story, Papa.“

„You tell me one, Poppy.“

„All right,“ she said, biting her lip, the way she did when she was thinking hard. Storytelling came as naturally to her as smiling.

„Once upon a time there was a little girl who lived in“ – she paused – „in a little village. Her mother had lots of parties and the little girl was always sent to bed before the guests came and told to pray before she went to sleep. It was hard to pray when there was a party, but she closed her eyes tight“ – Poppy leaned away and demonstrated how that was done – „and prayed for a brother.“ Opening her eyes, she added, „Not for a papa. She never prayed for a papa.“

Lindsay knew he was not her father. He had spent the year of her conception as part of the expedition to Copenhagen and the rest of 1807 in a convent recovering from a leg wound. Until last year he had not been in England for ten years. He was not Poppy’s father, but it was possible that her brother, Billy, was his son.

„God sent a brother, but then he took her mother to heaven and she knew better than to pray for anything ever again.“

The little girl paused and leaned against him with a deep sigh that brought tears to his eyes. They were quiet a while, the only sound the drip of rainwater from the gutter.

Poppy had not prayed for him to care for her. It was her mother who had made that arrangement. It had not been that odd a friendship. Lindsay could see now that they had a lot in common, the war-weary soldier and the fading courtesan, both tired of the work they were growing too old for and not at all sure that there was another choice. They had consoled each other in the only way they could.

There had, after all, been a price to pay for the sex she gave him for free. He would never forget the last time he had seen her. It had been months since her bed had been used for anything but sleep. Death was close, the room cold with it. He could still hear her asking him, begging in a hoarse whisper, to be the guardian of her children.

Of course he had taken them in, praying that their lives would be better with him than they would be in an orphanage.

„Since prayer did not work the way the little girl wanted,“ Poppy continued, „she decided she would make a wish instead. For you see, Papa, she had a magic coin. A coin that one of her mother’s friends had given her. He’d told her to make one wish and then to pass it on.“

Poppy leaned back to look at him and handed him the coin. „I want to give you the magic coin, Papa.“ She held it out to him, again. Her stubborn gaze was a command.

„Was your wish granted?“ Lindsay asked as he took the coin, not looking at it, but God help him, wondering if it was worth enough to pay for something other than the butcher’s leftovers.

„But yes, of course my wish was granted. I wished for a papa. Now close your eyes and think your wish. You will know it is the right one when the coin turns warm.“

So much trust, so easily given. The least he could do was play her game. Lindsay closed his eyes as ordered. A way out of this hell.

But wait; if he was the answer to her wish for family, then he had best be careful with the phrasing. He thought a moment. I wish for the profitable sale of my commission.

„Keep trying, Papa. When it is the right wish, you will know.“

„Very well.“ What kind of magic coin was this if you had to make the „right“ wish? With his eyes closed tight, Lindsay wished again for the prompt sale of his commission and that it would provide enough money to invest and live on.

The coin still felt cold in his hand. This was no more than a game. He smiled a little and wished for work that was satisfying and that paid an impressive wage. Even as he had the thought, the coin warmed his palm. Lindsay opened his eyes with a jerk and then opened his hand.

Poppy straightened, and at that very moment the sun broke through the clouds. A beam of sunlight found its way through the front window, falling directly on the coin. It glowed as golden and warm as the Mediterranean sun. „Very good, Papa. It must have been a very fine wish.“

„I was always good at following orders.“ Lindsay kissed the top of her head. „Now I give the coin away?“

„No, Papa,“ she said with the long-suffering tone of women everywhere. „You keep it until you are sure your wish is granted. You will know.“

„How? Will the coin glow again?“

„No.“ She snuggled closer.

That was reassuring. He had handled death and war and now poverty, but Lindsay was sure that he would find magic more unsettling than all the rest combined.

„At first I was not at all certain that you were the answer to my wish. You see, I had wished for a papa and a mama. The night before we came here, I was in the kitchen eating a syllabub that Cook had made as a treat. I took the coin out, laid it on the table and asked quite out loud if you were the answer to my wish. At that very moment, Mama’s friend who had given me the coin came through the door. He told me he was sorry that Mama was gone and yes, in- deed, you were the answer to my wish. Then he bowed and left.“

She turned her head so she could see him as she explained. „And Papa, the man was right. It was my mistake, you see, for I did not think to ask for a papa and a mama both at the same time.“

She drew a deep breath and closed her eyes. In one minute she was fast asleep. Lindsay examined the coin.

Ah, from the East India Company. He used his thumb and fingers to turn the coin and found something in Arabic. There was the Roman numeral X at the bottom and the word „CASH.“ Ten of whatever. How convenient, but of no use to him at all. He would hold the coin to please her, even though he was sure it was no more magic than his shirt button.

Two

Lindsay made his way down the crowded street. „Sorry,“ he said to the flower seller he nudged with his arm. She merely shrugged at his clumsiness. „Beg pardon, ma’am.“ He bowed to the woman who bumped into him. She made her own apology with a gap-toothed smile. Did the sun send rays of good humor as well as light? Or was it that after a week of rain, the people of London felt nothing but gratitude for even half a day of dry, fine weather?

Stepping aside, Lindsay watched a bunch of street urchins race from an alley. No matter the age or station, half of London had the same idea he did. Walking cost not a shilling and after days of rain was pure pleasure.

Or would be if he could lose the feeling of impending financial disaster. He could barely support himself, much less his new family, and it would take time to sell his commission. He could borrow against the sale, but the cost of the loan would seriously reduce the money that came his way. And he needed every guinea far more than the moneylenders did. Lindsay walked on as though time and distance were the key to his problems.

He might wish for employment every minute of every day, but it would hardly fall into his arms. Not without some effort on his part. But where to start? Lindsay looked up as if he would find the answer wherever his random walking had brought him.

Bond street. Far from his Chelsea neighborhood, in more ways than one. For all that the exalted streets of May-fair had been his milieu until ten years ago, he felt a trespasser.

It did not seem to matter whether it had been ten years or ten days. The same well-dressed men and women made their way in and out of shops, pausing to bow, stopping to chat. Maids and footmen moved with more purpose than their betters, laden down with parcels.

Lindsay noted that dresses were more elaborate, with ruffles at the hem, and that the spencers had more trim. The subdued color and cut of the men’s clothing made the red of his uniform stand out all the more. His shako looked as out of place here as a mob cap would have at Waterloo. No matter – he was entitled to wear his uniform until he sold his commission. It was all that stood between him and clothes from a secondhand stall.

The smell of sugar and molasses made him think of Poppy, and he made his way to the door of the confectioner’s. He had the door open before he recalled that he had no real money with him. He could not spend Poppy’s coin, and not only because the shop owner would throw it in his face.

Instead of going in, Lindsay held the door for two women who were leaving, a lady and her maid. Judging from their laughter, the maid was as much friend as servant.

„But, my lady, he should he giving me sweets.“

„Kitty, some rules are made to be broken.“

Kitty had no answer for that. She flashed him a smile of thanks for both her and her lady. Her mistress never even noticed that someone had held the door for them.

Lindsay noticed her. Her laughter embodied a joie de vivre he envied. Everything about her was as fresh as the spring day. Her perfume, the pink in her cheeks, the golden hair, the delicacy of the lace fichu that framed the curve of her neck. Her pelisse, the blue-green of her gown. Every single element of her perfection embedded itself in his mind in that one moment. He had yet to see her face, but was sure he would know her again, if only by the sound of her voice, for the smile that echoed in her words.

Lindsay’s steps took him in the same direction as them, and he followed her progress as she made her way toward Hanover Square. She paused at least three times to exchange greetings with other shoppers, two gentlemen and another woman. Not friends, mere acquaintances. And how did he know that? The way she stood. The way she moved, with self-conscious grace. The camaraderie she shared with her maid was absent. A natural caution, or did she have no friends in London?

Lindsay watched as she and Kitty considered the merits of a shop specializing in leather goods. Something for her husband, perhaps? For surely she was married. No one this lovely would remain unattached.

They took so long in consideration that by the time they moved on, Lindsay was only a few steps behind them. If he had been less of a gentleman he could have overheard their conversation.

Her laughter drifted back to him, and Lindsay decided that when he sold his commission…

He was distracted from his fantasy by the sound of a horse, moving at unsafe speed, racing down the crowded street. A moment later a rider came into view, mud-spattered and determined on losing not a moment.

Lindsay moved forward quickly, the battlefield instinct for survival still with him even if now it meant no more than protecting a lady’s gown from ruin. He took her by the shoulders, her back pressed against his chest, and placed himself between her and the mud that the idiot rider was casting up as he raced by.

He felt die delicacy of her bones beneath his fingers, die way her head would fit just below his chin, die orange spice scent of her perfume. And he felt her stiffen under his grip. Lindsay loosened his hold immediately. Even as she turned to him, people around them cried out in consternation. In mat instant the woman realized mat she had been rescued and not assaulted. While die rest of me street muttered, cursed and cried over mud-damaged domes, his lady turned to him.

„Thank you for the gallant sacrifice, Colonel.“ Even as she spoke, die practiced artifice disappeared, banished by a laugh mat lit her eyes and touched his heart.

He bowed to her. Those eyes, he thought; I could lose myself in them forever. „It is major, my lady. Major David Lindsay of me 28m Foot.“

„Of me 28m Foot.“ She spoke the words as he did, and he nodded.

„My cousin is in the 28th. He joined for the uniform, I think.“

He looked down at die red jacket witii the bright yellow facings.

„I am afraid, Major Lindsay, mat your uniform will never be die same. Do turn around.“

Lindsay obeyed her order, and she made a small sound mat confirmed her suspicion.

„Quite ruined, I’m afraid.“

He turned back to her, shaking his head. „Not at all, my lady, merely injured in your service. It has seen action for ten years and not failed me yet.“

„Oh yes,“ she said, her smile fading, „I am sure it has survived far worse. I am sorry. I did not mean to make light of it.“

„Not at all.“ Lindsay could have kicked himself for erasing her smile. She’s flirting with you, you dolt. Think of something to say, so she will remember you when you meet again. „I am sure my coat will fully recover.“

„I wish I were convinced of that. If it cannot be made like new, then I will buy you a new one.“

That gave him pause. Not that he wanted a new uniform, but that she would offer something so personal to a complete stranger chance met on Bond Street.

„Will you come and show me that it is still wearable?“ she continued with a smile that hinted at conspiracy. „On Friday. I am hosting a small party to announce my arrival for the Season. I would be pleased if you would join us for some music and a light supper before we all make our way to the evening’s entertainments.“

„Thank you.“ Her arrival for the Season. Did that mean no husband?

„Eight o’clock, then? I am on Norfolk Street, just off Green. My house is the only one on the street with a bright blue door.“

She turned from him before he could agree. He watched her out of sight. She was as fresh as the spring air, for all that she was not a young girl. More than lighthearted. Less than brazen. Unconventional, he decided.

A bright blue door? The only one on Norfolk Street? More like the only one in London. It was as odd as extending an invitation and neglecting to give him her name.

Three

„Her name is Lady Grace Anderson, Major.“ Nancy came into the study with Billy asleep on her shoulder.

How was a man to find out a lady’s name and situation when the usual options were no longer his? His club memberships were long gone, his contacts among society nonexistent. Lindsay thought asking Nancy’s help had been rather clever, like the old days on the Peninsula when he would have Jesseck check the status of grain for the horses. Jesseck spent most of his time in the kitchen these days, but Nancy was out daily with the children.

„She is a widow and this is her third Season since her husband died. The house was part of her settlement, but she rented it out all during her marriage.“

„And she was married to…?“

„Viscount Anderson, heir to the Earl Draycott. He was fifteen years older than she and died from a heart ailment.“

„No children.“

„No children, sir, but, this Season her aunt and the aunt’s son are staying with her.“

For propriety or company? Or was the cousin courting?

The conversation played back in his head as he approached the three front steps. The house was narrow, only about twenty-five feet wide, but it rose four stories, and that didn’t count the basement. Comfortable but unremarkable, except for the blue door.

The butler greeted him with genuine warmth, took his shako and told him that the gathering was meant to be informal and to please join the guests unannounced. Lindsay found the large salon filled with over thirty people and no sign of Lady Anderson.

Several people smiled and nodded. A moment later an old gentleman approached, introduced himself, thanked him for his service and then began a monologue on his hopes for England at peace.

And so it went. His uniform was the only invitation people needed to make an introduction or start a conversation. And the Waterloo medal drew the curious. It named him hero and victor. No one ever asked how it felt to wear a medal that represented suffering as well as victory.

One or two of the guests asked meaningful questions: How long before the troops of occupation would be withdrawn from France? Would Napoleon stay put this time? He had no sure answers, but it made for a break from the misplaced hero worship.

For the most part he enjoyed it. He enjoyed it tremendously. It had been years since society had found favor with him.

Through the whole he never spoke to his hostess. He would look up and find her watching him with a pleased smile, the one that lit her eyes. Lindsay returned the attention with a slight bow, but every time he made to move toward her there was another man or woman anxious to speak with him. He might not have been able to speak to her, but he would occasionally hear her laughter, the very sound making this party memorable.

When the clock struck ten, the guests began to drift away. Even as he made to join them and finally speak to his hostess, a footman came to him and asked if he would wait in the library.

The footman showed him to a room at the front of the house. As he heard the sounds of farewell, he took stock of his surroundings.

Lady Grace Anderson’s house was all that was fashionable. And proper. With the occasional touch that kept it from being dull. He examined the fireplace, admiring the fairies that were carved into the molding that held the mantel, the same fairies that decorated the fire screen, though these were painted gold and green.

„Good evening, Major.“

Lindsay turned to see a woman of a certain age, not his hostess.

„Good evening, madam. David Lindsay at your service.“

„Yes, my son knows you. Captain George Cardovan. Do you remember him?“

Cardovan, yes. A fine officer, badly wounded in an accident when the ship landed at Ostend.

„Of course I do. A pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Cardovan. Is your son with you?“

„He is. I have finally convinced him to come to town, though he is embarrassed that he cannot dance.“

And, Lindsay was sure, embarrassed that he had missed Waterloo. No matter that his quick thinking had saved lives in Ostend. To be wounded weeks before the final campaign was worse than death in Belgium. „I do understand. May I call on him?“

„He would welcome it, I am sure, Major. In fact, my niece would like to invite you to join us for dinner. George will be there too.“

„Why, thank you, Mrs. Cardovan.“

„Good. Grace is rather given to impulse. I am glad that you are not repelled by it.“

„A soldier learns to handle the unexpected.“

„A useful trait in this household, I assure you.“

Lindsay thought of the bright blue door, the fairies around the mantel, and wondered if they would be having cakes and cream for the first course at dinner.

Mrs. Cardovan walked away from him and stood with her back to the fire screen. „Have you known my niece long?“

Was she assessing his threat to her son’s courtship or being protective of her niece? „I’ve known her long enough to appreciate her laughter and effervescent charm, ma’am.“

She reached out and rapped his wrist with her fan. „Then not very long at all.“

What did she mean by that?

„Grace is a different woman since the viscount died and has earned every bit of pleasure life offers.“

„You have earned some fun as well, Major. Anyone at Waterloo deserves as much.“

It was not Mrs. Cardovan who spoke, and he turned to find Grace Anderson standing in the doorway. Before he could think of a way to answer she went on, „Good evening, Major. I am so sorry that I did not have a chance to speak with you during the party. I had hoped to have time to speak to everyone, but I fear my guest list was too ambitious. Will you stay for dinner?“

„Yes, thank you, my lady,“ he said, giving her a slight bow.

„Wonderful.“ She offered him her arm. „Petkin tells me the soup is ready to be served.“

Mrs. Cardovan hurried to the door. „I will go tell George.“ Even as she spoke, the older woman nodded to him and left the room.

„Aunt Louise means well, but I wish she was not so inclined to believe in fairy tales. She has me cast as some butterfly just burst from a cocoon and still trying my wings.“ She did not wait for a response but continued, „Tell me, have you ever had a soup made from apricots?“

Four

Dinner was… well, an adventure. Not the least of which was the apricot soup. Captain Cardovan’s welcome was embarrassingly enthusiastic and the two spent the first half of the meal talking of friends. By the time the more conventional fish course was served, Lindsay was feeling guilty for talking of nothing but the military.

From then on the four of them covered a dozen subjects, largely centered on the Season. Plays and balls were on everyone’s list, as well as excitement at the opening of the Waterloo Bridge sometime in June. „It will make for a break from the usual, will it not?“ Lady Anderson said.

If by „the usual“ she meant the constant parade of young girls making their bows and the speculation over what matches would be made, then she was right. He might not be part of that world any longer, but he could remember it well.

By the end of the meal it was clear to him that George Cardovan was no suitor, but was loved like a brother. Mrs.

Cardovan excused herself and, after a pointed look from his mother, George joined her.

„I wish someone could convince my aunt that George must be allowed to live his own life.“ Lady Anderson looked at him and shook her head. „He can hardly be expected to enjoy the Season if she is constantly worrying over him.“

He made some sort of neutral response, not at all inclined to take sides in a family squabble. She did not seem to expect an answer, but invited him back into the library, where a decanter of port awaited them.

She poured a small glass for each of them. This was another nod to the unconventional. No tea in the small salon for this hostess. No aunt to play chaperone.

She handed him a glass and men moved away, leaving the scent of her perfume as she moved about the room, like the newly hatched butterfly she had alluded to. One not quite ready to light in any one spot. She looked over her shoulder. „Did you enjoy the party?“

„Yes, thank you. It was an intriguing mix of people.“

„Yes, I suppose it was, but all dear friends of mine.“

„A pleasure to be included in so select a company.“ Exactly how did he fit in this group?

She took a sip of her port as she swept around him again. Her orange spice scent was as intoxicating as the port he held. Before Lindsay could turn to face her, she was in front of him. „I see that your uniform looks as well as it did before Fetters tried to win his absurd bet racing down Bond Street.“

„Yes, my lady. Jesseck learned magic as my batman during the war years.“

„In truth, Major, it hardly matters what your coat looks like. All eyes are drawn to your medal.“

Lindsay looked away from her. „Too much has been made of it.“ This was not quite what he meant, but he was not even going to try to explain.

„I can imagine that all the fuss does embarrass you.“ She set her glass on the mantel. „When so many died. But you must wear it in honor of them, if acknowledgment of your own valor makes you uncomfortable.“

He did that sometimes when he first put it on or took it off. Thought of Winslow, Packard or any of a hundred others and prayed for their immortal souls.

She walked over and touched it. Not him. She touched the medal and looked up at him. „Or wear it in honor of all the things men and women have done that deserve medals and are never recognized.“

„Like childbirth,“ he said, nodding, thinking of Billy and the mother who died to give him life.

She dropped her hand and looked at him with a start, her smile gone, her cheeks flushed as though he had just struck her, not with his words but with his hand. She turned from him.

„I beg your pardon, ma’am. That was most indelicate of me.“

She did not answer for a moment, then turned back to him, her smile in place, though this time it looked less natural. Her caution increased his unease. Rather like the way he felt in the field when all the birds grew silent and the animals stilled.

She moved around the room again, more slowly, not looking at him as she began.

„George, in his boredom, has told me all about you. Your family is from Kent. You’ve had an estate there since the time of Henry VIII. You were the second son. Your father bought you a commission. Your family, all of them and most of the servants, died of smallpox while you were in Spain.“

She stopped moving about and faced him. „I am so sorry for your loss, Major. To face death every day to save our way of life and to have your own family taken from you is the cruelest irony.“

„Yes, my lady.“

She came back to her original spot by the fire screen, took her glass but did not drink. She stared into the liquid as she continued.

„Then the land steward you hired to manage the estate brought it to ruin. You had to sell it to pay off the debt and were left with nothing but your commission, which you wish to sell so you can begin a new life.“

She paused, put her glass down carefully and looked him in the eye. „But selling a major’s commission in peacetime is slow work.“

She waited for him to speak, but Lindsay kept silent and held her gaze, caught between a slowly simmering anger and curiosity. Was mis sort of gossip Cardovan’s idea of friendship?

„I should imagine that, um, positions are scarce for men whose truest skill are enduring the Spanish winter and staying alive in France.“

„Yes, my lady.“ He tamped down anger he could ill afford. If she knew of employment he must listen.

„Really, Major.“ She spoke with a burst of irritation. „You do know how to converse, I saw that at dinner. This will not work if you cannot manage more than one-word sentences when we are alone.“

„My apologies. I am doing my best to remain civil when I would prefer to walk out of the room. To use your cousin as a spy is offensive to both him and me. My years in the army taught me how to hold my tongue and my temper, but this is too much.“ He had expected her to be above such behavior. Like some callow boy, he had been mesmerized by her smile, her aura of sweetness.

Looking shocked and more than a little taken aback, she spoke in hurried apology. „I am sorry, Major. It is only that George thinks so highly of you and loves to talk of all things military. It was more than vulgar curiosity, I assure you. I truly did have a reason for asking.“

He gave her a curt nod, already regretting his outburst. Did she know about Poppy and Billy? If her source was Cardovan then she would probably know nothing of his present state of affairs. He could only imagine what society would make of his newfound family. He could at least be grateful he had been spared that.

She took a very small sip of the port. „I meant no offense, Major.“ She angled her head slightly, and her eyes held more curiosity than regret. „Did you not use your own resources, or ‘spies’ as you say, to find out what you could about me?“

He had to concede that he had, but turned away from her rather than say it aloud. „If the invitation to your party and to dinner was a test of Cardovan’s understanding of me, then you are taking the long road to your ‘reason for asking,’ madam.“

„Yes. Yes I am.“ She grimaced. „But it is a little unusual. I wonder how someone as, um, staid as you will receive it.“

„You think I am staid? After that burst of temper?“

„It was a justified outburst, Major.“

She bowed her head and spoke with such humility that he came close to forgiving her. „But you are right, sir, staid is the wrong word. Calm? No, perhaps not calm, either. Sober? Settled?“ She tried each word and shook her head. „Not frivolous. Definitely not.“

„And you are nervous,“ he said with some surprise. The realization erased the last of his anger, for it put him in charge.

„Nervous? Why, yes, I am a little.“

„I find ‘tis better to act than to merely think about acting.“

„I suppose what you really mean is that fighting a battle is easier than thinking about one.“

„Precisely, but I find the same applies in peacetime.“

„Yes.“ She could agree with him on this. „In fact, I think the Season is merely a different kind of battle. Not that I mean to belittle your experience in any way.“

„It has been years, my lady, but the nervousness before my first ball is unforgettable.“

„I made my bow fifteen years ago, and worried that no one would notice that the embroidery on my gown matched the color of my eyes.“

She looked up then, and he could see that there was more pain than pleasure in the memory. He took a step closer, then stopped himself.

„But that was a long time ago, Major. This time I am going into the battle certain of the outcome.“

Five

„Major, are you interested in employment? I would like to offer you a position.“ She took a step closer. „A position for which I am willing to pay twenty-five pounds a week through the entire Season.“

„Twenty-five pounds? A week?“

She watched him. It was hard to tell what he was thinking. Was that the army training?

„What sort of position is it, my lady?“

„To continue the military analogy, Major: I want to hire you to be my ally. Would you consider work as my escort?“

„Your escort?“

She nodded, doing her best not to duck her head, to look him straight in the eye, to be businesslike. How did men do this? She should have asked someone. But who?

„What kind of escort?“

„More than an escort, actually. Could you be my companion? I would like to hire you to come with me to dinner parties, to take me to plays and the opera.“

Lindsay winced at the word „opera.“

„You do not like the opera?“ She spoke as though she had already known that too. „You see, that is one of the reasons I am willing to pay you. So that there will be some reward for doing what is less than your favorite.“

„But surely you would have no trouble finding an escort.“

„Thank you, for I assume that is a compliment. But you see, I am not looking for a husband. In fact, I want to do all I can to discourage suitors. I do not want to marry again. Not ever. You are on my arm to make that perfectly clear.“

„If we are seen together all the time people will assume…“

He did not finish the sentence, and Grace was charmed that he was so straitlaced. „People will assume that we are lovers?“

„Yes, my lady.“

„But that would be no one’s business but ours.“

Lindsay stiffened, hesitated and then asked, „Are you hiring me to sleep with you?“

„No indeed, Major. We hardly know each other. And I am woman enough to prefer some degree of acquaintance before moving to the bedroom.“

„Then it is not a condition of the employment, but a possibility?“ He did not wait for her to answer. „No, madam. This carries your eccentric inclinations too far. I am not so desperate that I must sell my body like some whore on the corner.“

Did he find her so unattractive then? It was so impossible to consider her as a lover? Was this attraction she felt one-sided? Drat and blast. „Hardly a prostitute, Major, more like a well-paid courtesan.“

He closed his eyes, and Grace could see him struggling to keep his temper in the face of the insult. This was entirely wrong. She should not even have made the offer tonight, but given him time to recover from the perceived insult of her learning all she could about him.

Now she’d deliberately baited him. Why? Because she wanted him to be at least as embarrassed as she was?

„I am sorry, Major. I did not mean to offend.“ Grace walked closer, her words earnest and intense. „I wished only to offer a solution to both of our problems. I have no intention of doing any more than dancing with you. Could this not be purely a business arrangement? I know you were not married when you left Belgium, and if you will assure me that you have no wife or fiancee, then that is all I wish to know about your personal life.“

„I am not married and have no woman in my life.“

The fact that he answered her question convinced her that he might actually be considering her offer, despite the insult. The fact that he’d hesitated a moment in answering made her wonder what he was not telling her.

„Then that is all I need to know. I am offering you the position purely in the nature of a business proposal.“

„Business it may be, my lady, but not any that I wish to be a part of.“

„Please, there is no need to answer me now.“ She wanted to touch him, but knew that even a hand on his arm was more contact than he would tolerate. „Lady Harriston told me that she plans to invite you to her ball. I hope to see you there. Can I count on your presence being your answer? And please, sir, do forgive the insult.“

He gave a curt nod, bowed and without another word left her alone.

Grace grabbed the port and took a healthy sip, and before she’d finished coughing her aunt was in the room.

„It did not go well?“ Louise sat as Grace shook her head.

„It was close to disaster. I sounded like a crude hussy, lacking in all sensibility.“

„Grace! What in the world did you say to him?“ Her aunt put a hand to her heart as though palpitations were starting.

„First he accused me of using George as a spy, when all I wanted to know was if he was available.“

„Yes. Exactly.“

„I am not going to endure the experience again by telling you any more of it. Trust me when I say that I have given him a disgust of me. I apologized and asked him to reconsider.“ Grace shook her head. „When I asked him if he had formed any attachments since returning from Europe he said no, but I was sure there was something he was not telling me.“

„It would be easy enough to find out.“

„Absolutely not, Aunt Louise. He was so angry. If there is any chance he will reconsider I am not going to jeopardize it by making any more inquiries. He is entitled to some privacy, as are all my employees.“ She drew a breath that was all disappointment. „I think it is hopeless.“

„What a shame.“ Aunt Louise patted her hand. „It has worked so well for the last two years.“

„Because Belney had no interest in women and all Wharton wanted was money to emigrate to Canada.“

„I was sure the major was an ideal candidate, Grace.“

„I think he did forgive me the first offense, the spying. But then I let his lack of interest provoke me into a deliberate insult.“ Why had she even mentioned that? Louise was all attention now. Grace waved her hand. „After that I cannot imagine the major will set aside his pride, even for twenty-five pounds a week.“

„One good thing has come from this, Grace. This is the first time I have seen you interested enough in a man to make a mull of it. Very good, my dear. 1 will be grateful for small steps. I should so like you to learn that sex is about more than a responsibility.“

Grace looked at the port, and the very thought of drinking more made her cough. „It is just as well, Aunt. I like my life as it is.“

„Then why do you look disappointed?“

„Relieved. I am relieved,“ Grace insisted. „He is too used to command and would have been very difficult to manage.“

She turned away from her aunt. She was relieved and disappointed. She could still recall his hands on her shoulders, her back pressed against his chest, feeling.overwhelmed and thrilled at the same time.

She shuddered. There were times when the body and the mind were not at all as one. She knew what sex was. Never mind Aunt Louise’s intimations – she had had more than enough of it to last a lifetime.

Grace turned back to her aunt. „Thank God he was offended. Clearly he is more a gentleman than I am a lady.“

Six

„Billy is sick?“ Lindsay had returned home to find his household in chaos.

„Very sick, Papa. He is not breathing properly. Nancy has sent for the surgeon.“ Poppy’s words came out in gasps that were filled with tears.

How would he pay for the surgeon? Panic slid through him. Lindsay took Poppy’s hand and hurried up the two flights of stairs to the nursery. He would find the money. There had been enough death in his world. If the surgeon could cure the boy then he would do whatever he had to do to pay for it.

Lindsay went through the day nursery and into the room where both Poppy and Billy slept. No sooner was he through the door than fear nudged the panic aside. God, what if this was contagious? What if Billy infected Poppy and she died too?

„Jesseck is in the hall waiting for the surgeon. I want you to go downstairs and make sure he stays awake.“

Poppy obeyed without question. It was a miserable few hours, and close to dawn before the surgeon discovered that the labored breathing had been caused by nothing more than a pea the child had pushed up his nose.

Poppy and Nancy both began to cry, but this time they were tears of relief. Lindsay comforted them and in no time the house was settled into the rhythms of sleep. The surgeon promised to send a salve that would ease the boy’s discomfort and Lindsay sent Jesseck to bed, insisting that he would stay up until it arrived. He decided to wait outside, so that a knock would not echo through the house and disturb the children.

The milkmaids were making their way through the neighborhood, the fruit and vegetable carts lumbering by. As he watched the morning parade, he pulled Poppy’s coin from his pocket. The surgeon had looked skeptical when Lindsay promised prompt payment. How many others were on the list to be paid? How long before debtors’ prison claimed him?

Lindsay stared at the coin, not golden now but dark and unresponsive. „Is Lady Anderson’s offer the answer to my wish?“

Even as he spoke, a man approached him. „What was that, Captain?“

It’s Major, Lindsay thought. The man was wearing some kind of naval uniform. He ought to know rank, but Lindsay was too tired to correct him.

„You want to know if your wish has been granted,“ the man said, answering his own question and stepping closer. „The thing is, sir, you can never tell with wishes.“

„It is none of your business.“ Lindsay gave him a cold stare, but the man stood his ground.

„I beg your pardon, sir, but you asked about your wish and I am come to answer.“

„You are an expert on wishes?“ It was a comment bordering on the absurd, but the man answered anyway.

„Indeed I am.“ He took off his hat and bowed as if that would be introduction enough. „You wished for employment that was pleasurable and profitable, did you not?“

Lindsay took a step back, aghast at the thought that this proposal had already found its way to the gossip mill.

The man held up his hand, his hat still in it. „Never fear, sir. I am no threat to the discretion so essential to this offer.“

Lindsay pushed the coin back into his pocket and prayed the man was telling the truth.

„You see, sir, the coin interprets the wish in its own way.“ The man ran his hat through his fingers. „Sometimes an explanation is needed.“ He bowed again.

Lindsay shrugged, humoring the man while trying to think of some reasonable explanation for his appearance.

„Now, sir, you asked for employment both pleasurable and profitable. That is what has been offered, is it not? The position with Lady Anderson? It is what you need, sir, and not only for the money. You need to step back into your rightful place in the world.“

He would throw the ridiculous coin in the river the very next chance he had.

„Surely it is not the amount, Major. Twenty-five pounds a week seems a princely sum to me.“

„It is.“ Lindsay hesitated and then decided that anything that happened this early in the morning was no more than a dream. „The work I am offered is hardly honorable.“

„Aha, but you see you did not include ‘honorable’ in your list.“ The man nodded, as if he were agreeing with himself. „And, sir, I ask you, what is dishonorable about the position? Any work that you take on to provide for your family would suit my definition of honorable.“ He spoke with a firm nod, as though that was the final word.

„Then we define honorable differently.“

„No, we do not. It is only that your definition is clouded by pride. Honor and pride. They are not the same.“

„And preserving my pride was something else I failed to include in my list.“

„Very good, Colonel. Yes, indeed, your wish is granted. It is up to you to make the best of it without compromising what is most important to you.“

And with a nod, the man put his cap back on and continued down the street.

Seven

„Major David Lindsay.“ The steward’s voice was well suited to his current task announcing guests. His baritone carried across the ballroom and caught the attention of Grace Anderson.

Elation swept through her. He was here. There was still a chance he would agree to her offer. He was not particularly late – the Harristons were still receiving guests – but she had given up hope when he had not been among the first to arrive.

At the announcement of his name, the woman she was speaking with stopped talking and turned to take a look at him. Grace watched him study the crowd. When he found her, he nodded. More than one head turned to follow his gaze and see who merited such attention.

It was not hard to tell. Her answering smile was out of all proportion to his brief nod. She could not help it.

„Oooh, my dear,“ the lady next to her said, „aren’t you the lucky one. I was rather hoping I was the one he had taken such particular notice of. Major Lindsay is quite a handsome man, and I daresay it is not just the uniform that gives him such distinction.“

Grace reminded herself that a single exchange of glances was enough to start gossip. Rumors of a liaison might be her goal, but the last thing she wanted was for gossip to start before she knew if he was willing. She did her best to control her satisfaction. If he said no after the smile she gave his discreet nod, everyone would know that it was he who had snubbed her. Did it matter? Just enough to make her smile disappear.

She gave her full attention to the woman who had expressed such envy, a woman whose name she could not quite recall. Something like „rooster,“ but that may have come to mind because she was dressed as though her goal had been to look like one. Grace wondered if anyone else thought the rather lovely bronze-red taffeta dress and the huge pair of feathers rising from her crown gave the woman the look of a bantam. A ruby choker only added to the overall effect. Perhaps she was trying to compete with her husband, a colonel whose uniform was as impressive as Lindsay’s, even without the Waterloo medal.

„I met the major the other day, when he saved my clothes from ruin.“ Grace pressed her lips together to erase the smile and tried for something more decorous.

„Did Fetters race down Bond Street again?“

„Yes.“ She resisted the urge to turn back to look for Lindsay. He had seen her. He would find her when the time was right.

„We will have more to talk of this Season than which girl has caught the eye of which gentleman if Fetters continues these absurdities.“ The woman shook her shoulders, looking more like a rooster with each gesture.

„Hopefully, he will not be here tonight,“ Grace said, only half attending. „This is one gown I would like to wear again.“

„The major is coming this way,“ the woman whispered.

Grace could not resist a glance over her shoulder. His uniform made him easy to find, the red standing out even among the glitter of society. It was both elegant and sober, as was the man wearing it.

„He’s coming straight to you,“ the woman hissed, stating the obvious, and Grace turned to greet him.

„Lady Anderson.“ He bowed.

„Major Lindsay.“ She curtsied.

Her smile faded as he stared at her, silent. Then he shook his head in the same slight way he had nodded to her. He turned to her companion as though the two words of her name was all the attention she would have from him.

This, then, was not the good news she had hoped for. Now she was truly embarrassed at the enthusiasm of her earlier welcome.

She stood her ground, though she was sorely tempted to flee. She was embarrassed only. Not humiliated. It was his choice and could have been made for a dozen reasons, reasons that had nothing to do with the way she dressed or drank soup.

With a determination to end their brief acquaintance with civility and, by the by, give the woman in red no further fuel for gossip, Grace watched as the major bowed over the other woman’s hand.

„Good evening to you, Mrs. Rooster.“

Rooster? Good heavens, Grace thought, did he really call her that? Even as she had the thought he blushed.

„It’s Schuster, Major. I believe we met at General Broadbent’s. The name is Schuster.“

He bowed low over her hand. „I do beg your pardon, Mrs. Schuster. How hen-witted of me.“

The choice of words was deliberate, Grace was sure. With real effort, she kept from looking at him. As it was she could barely contain her laughter.

„You must excuse me, Major, Lady Anderson.“ Mrs. Schuster nodded to each of them. „Lady Harriston wants my opinion on some new bonnets for her chicks. They are lovely girls. But having all three make their bow in the same Season would be a burden for any mother. If you will excuse me? And I’m sure you will.“ The arch tone hinted that Mrs. Schuster was going to share more than her opinion on hats.

They both watched her leave, and as soon as she was out of earshot Lindsay turned to her.

„Is there any hope for me or have I ruined myself completely?“ Despite the question, he did not look particularly worried. „Tell me, how important is Mrs. Schuster? You must know the pecking order here.“

She could not hold back her laughter. It came out with a most unladylike gasp, thank heaven, not quite a snort. His own grin became a laugh as well.

„I think you will survive, for she has no idea what the joke is. ‘Chicks,’ Major. She called the Harriston girls ‘chicks.’“

This sent them into gales of laughter, which were soon uncontrollable and attracting more than a little attention. So much so that he tugged her after him and through the doors onto a terrace and the back garden.

The dancing would not end for another hour and the garden was empty. Grace laughed until her sides hurt, as much a release of tension as amusement. Lindsay led her to a bench, dusted the seat with his handkerchief and gestured for her to sit.

They sat side by side, barely touching, the laughter gone as quickly as it had come. Finally, Grace cleared her throat. „I dared hope that your presence tonight meant that you had decided to accept the position.“

„I thought I had.“ He sighed, the sound of indecision at odds with the uniform and the air of authority that seemed so naturally a part of him. After a long moment he said, „I have no choice but to accept, my lady.“ He sounded more resigned than interested.

„One always has a choice, sir.“ He’d made it sound as though he were choosing the guillotine over the hangman’s noose.

„I need the money. Enough for that to be the deciding factor.“ He was staring through the window at the dancers as they made their way through a waltz. Anything to avoid looking at her, she thought.

He needed money that badly? George had said that he did not gamble, or at least no more than most officers with too much time on their hands. Or maybe he needed the money for an investment. She would not ask. She had learned already that he valued his privacy, and she would respect that.

She was silent so long that he finally did turn to look at her.

„Is that too blunt for you?“

„No. Actually I appreciate your honesty.“ Now it was her turn to look away. „I could wish for more enthusiasm, but will do my best not to be offended by the lack of it.“ This awkwardness was not a particularly good way to start out.

„And I will do my best not to be disgusted at the thought of being paid by a woman to do work that is an insult to both of us.“

Oh dear. This could easily lead to an argument, one they had already had. As they sat in strained silence, Mrs. Schuster strutted past the doorway. Grace glanced at Lindsay, who was watching the woman as well.

„Do you think she did it deliberately?“

„I cannot imagine“ – he shook his head – „but she is drawing attention.“

Yes, Mrs. Schuster was leaving disbelief in her wake. „Perhaps her goal in life is to be immortalized by Row-landson.“

„Perhaps, my lady. Picturing her in one of his cartoons takes very little imagination.“

As she passed from view, Grace looked at him directly for the first time since they had come out on the terrace. „We can make of our arrangement what we will: an insult or an adventure. For now I will be grateful that you agreed and, ahem, did not chicken out on me.“

He showed as much disgust as amusement – at the pun, she hoped. She attempted a bland smile, and finally he laughed. So did she. She could not recall a time that she had laughed with a man. Belney had no sense of humor at all. Wharton’s humor was too crude to be amusing. And her husband – around him she had been very careful to control all her sensibilities.

If they could keep each other laughing, this might work after all.

Eight

„Are you having fun, Papa?“

Lindsay glanced over at Poppy, who was sitting on his bed, concentrating on pulling on his too-large gloves.

„Yes, I am.“ More fun than he had expected.

„What’s the best part?“

He ran the brush through his hair one last time and turned to face the child.

„Tell me, Papa, what’s the best part about going out? The people you meet? The food you eat? The clothes they wear? Staying up until it’s almost morning?“

He sat on the bed and gently pulled his gloves off her small hands. „You know how when you go to the park with your governess? And how it’s so much more fun on those days when your friends are there?“

She nodded.

„Society is the same. The best part is finding people who enjoy the same things you do and seeing them as often as possible.“

„Are you going to the play with friends tonight?“

„Yes.“

„A particular friend?“

Where had she learned that phrase? From her governess? „And why are you so curious tonight?“

„Because I asked Miss Truslow why you never stay home and she said that you had a particular friend.“

Now he was the one who was exasperated. „Poppy, I see you and Billy every day.“

She nodded, and he took his gloves and walked over to collect his shako.

„Mama used to go out at night, too.“

He felt her words like a punch to a healing wound. Yes, my child, and I go out at night for the same reason your mama did. To keep food on the table and a roof over our heads.

„Mama used to go out at night and she died.“

Lindsay came back to the bed, where she was kneeling now, her eyes level with his cravat.

„Poppy, dearest, I am not going to die. Not for a very long time. And certainly not because I go out at night.“

„Do you promise?“

„Yes.“ One thing he was sure of: If he had survived ten years in the army, he was not meant to die young.

Poppy nodded, very near tears. He put his arms around her and gave her a hug, which she tolerated for all of two seconds.

With a change of mood that always confused him, she pulled out of his arms, then jumped twice on the mattress and onto the floor. „Have fun tonight, Papa. And bring me a treat!“

He watched her bounce from the room and followed her, coming back a moment later to pick up the freshly laundered handkerchief he meant to return to Lady Anderson. He held it to his nose and smelled only the lavender water the laundress had used. It was no match for the orange spice scent that was as much a part of Grace Anderson as her hair and the small round beauty mark behind her ear. And her laughter.

The scent must have been specially blended for her. By her husband? By a lover? By someone who understood her. Someone who knew that for all her orange blossom sweetness there was a spark of passion banked oh so carefully. A passion that peeked out when she laughed, when she lost herself in music, sipped champagne or tasted an especially well-made pudding. A passion that fired an inquiring mind. At least that was one passion he could indulge in with her. One that did not compromise his precariously balanced sense of honor. He tucked the handkerchief in his pocket. How long would the passion of an active mind be enough to share? Was it complete in itself or fuel for greater passion? It was a subject that he knew would intrigue Grace, but one he was not going to introduce.

„Are you having fun, Grace?“

„Hramm.“ Grace pretended that all her attention was on her choice of the garnets or the amethysts.

„Is that a yes or a no, dear?“ Her aunt was comfortably ensconced in the slipper chair and showed no sign of leaving.

„If we start on that now, Aunt Louise, I’ll be late.“

„Nonsense. No one ever arrives at the theater on time.“ Grace chose the garnets and began fastening the necklace. „Yes, I am having fun.“ She picked up the earrings and fastened them, then sat on the padded bench of her dressing table, facing her aunt, her back to the mirror.

„Yes, I am having fun,“ she repeated as she reached behind her and picked up the bracelet that made a matched set with the earrings and necklace. „Major Lindsay is a perfect gentleman. Attentive. Courteous.“ She made the two words sound inconsequential. She waved her hand. „You know what I mean.“

„I know what you mean, Grace, but not why it annoys you.“

„He is a very entertaining companion. We laugh at the same things and we both are happiest when we find someone willing to talk about something other than Fetters’ latest bet.“

„But you see, even with that, there is a reserve about him. He never talks about his life, never at all.“

„And exactly what should he tell you? He is your employee, Grace. What do you know of Petkin’s private life?“

She shrugged. „1 spend more time with him than I do with the butler.“ After a careful inspection of the catch on her bracelet, she added, „He is doing exactly what I hired him for, but the truth is I wish there were something more, something closer to friendship.“

„And are you friends with all your employees?“

„My maid and I are friends.“ Even she could hear how defensive that sounded. „But I take your point.“

„Kitty is a rare exception. You grew up together. She will always be as much friend as servant. Grace, you know as well as I do that it is not wise to be friends with an employee.“

„You are the one who encouraged me to become more intimate with him.“

„Yes, and I still think that having a lover would be a very enlightening experience for you. But I have my doubts as to whether this is the best way to go about it.“

„Men do it all the time.“

„Yes, that’s true, my dear, but friendship is not a prerequisite for them.“

„Oh. I always thought that was what would make the difference between enjoying sex and merely tolerating it.“ She pressed her lips together. Why had she said that aloud?

„When it comes to sex, men do not think first with their heart“ – Louise paused – „or even their brain. For a woman like you, some sort of connection is essential.“

„And what do you mean by ‘a woman like me’?“ Grace stood up. „Someone who is happier as a widow than I was as a married woman? Someone who has never had a lover?“

„Both of those, Grace, but mostly a woman who, despite an inclination to flout convention in private, is in public a lady and not given to the casual in any way.“ She stood up and took Grace’s hands. „Perhaps that is the solution. Stop thinking so much, Grace. Let him know you are interested in more than… what was it you said?“

„He is very attentive and courteous.“

„Yes, let him know that you are interested in more than attention and courtesy and see what he does.“

„I wish this were easier.“ Grace looked down at her lap. „It is too much like walking an untested bridge over a deep ravine. It was so much simpler before.“

„You know in your heart that you would rather be facing that bridge than a brick walk that does no more than circle the garden.“

„Yes, yes.“ Grace closed her eyes. „That describes my marriage exactly. But that is the past. I have changed, have I not?“

„No one who knew you then could doubt that.“

„I wish there were something between the safe path and the treacherous bridge. Why do I have to go from one extreme to the other?“

„Grace,“ her aunt said with an incredulous laugh, „it has taken you two years to risk the bridge. That is hardly going from one extreme to the other.“

„Oh, Aunt Louise.“ Grace pulled her aunt into a hug. „I am so glad to have you with me this Season. Talking with you is so much more satisfying than letters. I will try it. I will, even though I have no idea how he will react.“

„Neither do I, my dear. But I must admit that I am hopeful.“

Nine

„Garrick has been dead almost forty years and still his plays entertain. I do think The Clandestine Marriage is my favorite.“ Grace looked down as the people below moved out of the theater. She nodded and waved to acquaintances in another box who, like her, preferred to make their departure after the crowd had thinned.

Lindsay had come to realize that she preferred to discuss the play while it was fresh in her mind, and lingering the twenty odd minutes presented the ideal opportunity. „Yes, my lady, Garrick was a genius. The proof being that his characters are true for any age. You must be acquainted with any number like the grasping sister and the snobbish aunt.“

„They ring so true.“ She shook her head in some amusement. „Do you think they recognize themselves?“

„Do you recognize yourself in Fanny?“

„The secretly married daughter?“ Grace looked at him in some surprise. „No, not at all. What makes you say that we are alike?“

Lindsay looked away for a moment and considered if what he was about to say would offend her. And wondered for a moment how often Poppy’s mama had to make the effort to guard her tongue lest she offend her patron. He spoke anyway. „You and Garrick’s Fanny are both well-meaning, loyal, sweet.“

Grace blushed a little, and was about to speak when he held up his hand. „Sweet,“ he repeated, „but like her, you play a game with society. In the play Fanny felt the need to keep her marriage a secret.“

„Ah, yes. I see.“ She was silent a moment. „Well, at least it is a comedy and not a tragedy. Though I suppose you could make the same case for Romeo and Juliet. That they felt the need to keep their relationship a secret.“

„We are not young, plagued by warring families or in love.“

„Remind me of that, will you, when this seems entirely too complicated a charade.“

She laughed a little as though it was a joke and he smiled, but it was the first time in the weeks they had been together that she had ever implied she was less than comfortable with their arrangement.

„Would you like to leave now?“ She held up her cloak.

He took it. The cloak was a light wool with a silk lining. The weave was fine, soft to the touch. He suspected it was as soft as her skin would be. As much as he might have liked to test the theory, he did no more than drop the cloak around her shoulders.

They found a crowd still on the stairs, and waited, Grace chatting with an acquaintance as he considered her comment about their „charade.“

If she was not entirely satisfied with their arrangement, then it showed they shared something beyond an appreciation of Garrick’s plays. He hated the constraints of his position, and attending the opera was the least of them.

For a man who had spent most of his life in charge, taking orders from a woman was a dramatic change. Yes, he had always had to obey orders as well, but he had never been so low in rank that there were not others to obey him. It made him realize that the chain of command was a salve to the self-worth of a man. Now he was in a position where he took orders from someone who was more comfortable holding a reticule than a sword.

Hardly onerous, yet still, at times, maddening. Especially the way she phrased things as though he had a choice. „Shall we leave?“ Or „Would you like some supper?“

Lindsay had watched her with the others she employed, and, as she was with him, she was unfailingly courteous. But probably like her other servants, he had learned to take her questions as they were intended: All that mattered was what she wanted to do, and when she wanted to do it.

How did the others handle fatigue that came with a teething baby? How did they handle worry about responsibilities that had nothing to do with employment but were what made it so necessary?

In the army he was focused on one thing only. His loyalties were not split between a family that wanted to know every detail of his life away from them and a woman who never asked about his life in the hours they were not together.

When it became unbearably irritating, like tonight, he would remind himself that in time he would sell his commission and leave her employ. It was an option that the others did not have.

He watched as she laughed at something and could not help but smile. He looked around and saw several others turn toward the sound. Her laughter was one of die most charming things about her. Always genuine and inviting, so that anyone who heard it wanted to be part of her party.

Her laughter and inquisitive mind were not the only things that made his employment bearable and, when he was less tired and frustrated, fair compensation for her maddening version of leadership. Grace Anderson found good almost everywhere. And if she could not see the good in something, she would wish for it. How many times had she said „I wish…“?

There was a long list of changes she would make if she had Poppy’s magic coin. The Prince Regent would be more attentive to his wife, the Luddites would end tiieir unrest, her aunt would let her son live his own life.

He watched as she complimented Mrs. Schuster on her earrings, truly the only item she wore that suited her. Which only proved his point that Grace could find good almost anywhere.

Satisfied that he had talked himself out of his ill humor, Lindsay moved to rejoin Grace.

„Fine Season for you, Lindsay. Eh?“

Fetters might be talking to him, but he was watching Grace with interest, and Lindsay could hardly miss his meaning. He decided to ignore the man.

„We could make a wager. Just between the two of us. A hundred guineas that you two are leg-shackled before Christmas.“

„Do you know how to say anything that does not begin or end with a wager?“ Lindsay kept his tone civil, but he trusted that his irritation was clear. „You are an embarrassment to society. Move out of my way.“

„Looking for a little fun, that’s all. All the young chits are paired up and the Season is only half over. It will be damn dull if I can’t stir things up a bit. No need to take offense. It’s a sure thing for you. You’re as close as two pistols in a gun case.“

„Fetters, I am not wasting money betting with you, not on anything.“

„It would be quite a coup for an army major to marry such a wealthy widow. No money problems ever again. If you don’t want to spare the blunt you could always wager that.“ He flicked a finger at the Waterloo medal.

He grabbed Fetters’ arm and squeezed so hard that the man gasped. „This medal represents something you will never understand, Fetters. Thousands of men died so that you can spend your life making ridiculous wagers. You can insult me all you want. But you will treat this medal and Lady Anderson with the respect they deserve.“

Finally he let go of the man. Grace was still talking to a group of women and had not seen their exchange. Several others had. Wonderful, he thought, praying the conversation would not find its way to the gossip sheets.

As he and Grace reached the lobby, they could see that a heavy rain was what had slowed the departures. Rain was common enough in London. In this case it was the cap on an evening that had been anything but perfect.

Grace turned to him. „Would you like to come to Norfolk Street with me? Then I can have the coachman take you home. It will save your uniform from the wet.“

He bent closer to her so that no one would overhear. „If they see us leave together then we will be the next bit of gossip.“

„Do you care what they think?“ she asked, then waited the barest of moments before turning to the door the porter was holding for them.

As usual she expected no answer from him, but it was all he could do not to give one anyway. No, madam, I am being well paid to not care what society thinks, but for once I would like to be the one making the decisions.

The ride to Norfolk Street was silent. The rain beating on the carriage roof made any but the most perfunctory conversation difficult, and Grace seemed lost in thought.

He watched her through half-closed eyes. There was some internal debate going on, and he did not have to ask to know that he was at the heart of it. As the carriage made the turn from North Audley to Green, she turned to him. „Would you like to come in for a brandy?“

This one was different from the usual question, tentative and uncertain.

„If that is what you would like, my lady.“ What exactly did she want? She had never offered such an invitation before. They had thoroughly dissected the play. What was there left to do this evening? He grimaced at his naivete.

„Major?“

He came back to the moment and realized that he had not heard her reply.

„What I wish,“ she repeated with some brusqueness, „what I wish is that you do what you wish.“

A choice? She was giving him a choice? He did not have to think. „Then no thank you, my lady. I am needed at home.“ It was a lie. He was saying no only because he could.

Completely mortified, Grace tried for a casual „Very well,“ and hoped that he could not feel her chagrin. She wanted nothing more than to be out of the carriage, away from him, but it was clear that Petkin had not heard their arrival. The coachman jumped down and hurried to the door to rouse the butler, or at least find an umbrella.

The silence grew, and Grace’s embarrassment gave way to a fury out of all proportion to his refusal. He was a complete and utter idiot. His instant „No“ seemed so instinctive that she could only assume he had taken a dislike of her. Now he was pretending she did not exist.

„Major.“

He was staring out the window, but with a slowly drawn breath he abandoned his study of the rain-soaked street and gave her his full attention.

„Perhaps you are bored with our arrangement. Shall we say good-bye as well as good night?“

He gave no sign mat he understood her but stared into her eyes, infuriating her all the more, something she had not thought possible. „Is that a yes or a no, Major Lindsay? Have you had enough of this game – is that what your refusal means? I hate it when you expect me to read your mind. I would rather you yell at me, abuse me with words, than suffer this contest of wills.“

He nodded slowly, and when he spoke it was with a calm that was worse than a shout. „I would only bid you good night, madam.“

He looked away from her again, and she saw that those few words had been a terrible blow to his pride. He did, after all, need the work. Need the money she paid him. This was not about his sensibilities, but his livelihood. How could she have forgotten that?

„I will see you tomorrow, then. At eight.“

He nodded, and she admitted to herself that her own pride had been bruised. „The Prince Regent is expected to make an appearance. I want you to look your best.“

He nodded again, his face still without expression. She turned toward the carriage door and the umbrella Petkin held out, wishing that her order had sounded more authoritative and less petulant.

Ten

It could be a very awkward evening, Grace decided. Unleashing anger, and then not apologizing for it, was as forbidden as picking roses from her mother’s garden. It was also rather exhilarating.

Lindsay had come without his medal.

„The ribbon was too frayed and must be replaced.“

„Is it? Did you bring the medal with you? I can send Petkin for a new ribbon.“

„I left it with my man. He’s been tending my uniform for years.“

He glanced away from her as he spoke, and she was sure he was lying. He’d left the medal home solely because she had told him, demanded, that he look his best. In the military that would be called something heinous, she was sure – denying a direct order? And punishable by something equally awful. Whatever it might be, it was not an option for her. She waited until he looked at her again.

„I am disappointed. Very.“ Why was it that she was the one who sounded defiant?

He did no more than bow to her.

Clearly she did not have what it took to be an effective officer, for she had no idea how to handle this. She opted for escape. „Shall we go?“

Lindsay turned with the barest of nods and opened the door before Petkin could be called. The coachman held the carriage door, and she did not speak again until they were both seated.

„Major, would you please check the latch on my necklace? It feels loose.“

She watched his hands while he pulled off his gloves and then turned her back to him, loosened her cloak and bent her neck so he would have a clear view of the necklace. It was still light out, but inside the carriage it was dim, and only now did she realize Lindsay would have to feel the clasp with his hands.

Grace had intended the request as a set-down, but the feel of his fingertips brushing her skin made her forget the need to remind him of his place.

Had any man ever touched her there before? Surely she would recall. His fingers left an exquisite fire on the back of her neck, a fire that warmed her from head to toe. She wished he would press his lips to the same spot. She closed her eyes and imagined the pleasure. Then she would turn into his arms and press her mouth to his. Her whole body responded to the fantasy. Oh dear, oh my, this was what lust felt like.

„Your necklace seems quite secure, my lady.“

He was either exerting great control or was totally unmoved. Was that possible? For one party to be on fire and the other uninterested? Of course it was.

She turned and straightened her skirts, making sure that no part of even her clothing touched him. She endured that for a full five minutes before she felt more herself again.

Herself. Whoever that was. A widow, largely happy, interested in all manner of things, and, at the moment, tired of being angry with the one person who seemed to enjoy the same things she did.

She turned to him. „I declare you the winner.“

„I beg your pardon, my lady?“

She really was beginning to hate those two words. Why would he not call her Grace? „I said that you are the winner.“ She let out a puff of breath that was as much annoyance as frustration. „I am tired of being in your bad books. I have never actually lost my temper with anyone before. And this is the second time I have done so with you. It takes entirely too much energy and ruins my sleep. So, I am sorry that I was rude last night. Sorry that I asked what you wanted to do and then was offended when it was not what I wanted to do.“

Lindsay regarded her with some confusion. True, she did not sound gracious in her apology – there was too much of an edge to her voice – but she was speaking English.

„I beg your pardon, but did you say that you have never lost your temper before? Is that what you said?“

„Yes. At least not since I was mature enough to learn self-control.“

He shook his head, but said nothing.

„And now you are not even going to accept my apology, Major? Is that some sort of military training? Never concede?“

He did not answer immediately, but took both her hands and kissed each in turn. Though his expression still bordered on amazement, there was humor in his eyes. „Grace Anderson, it has been my ambiguous pleasure to introduce you to your first burst of temper. May there be many more.“

„What does that mean?“ Now she was the one who was confused. It was hard to be detached when the object of annoyance was holding your hands. It felt almost as good as his touch on her neck.

„It means that no one should go through thirty years of life with such careful control of her sensibilities.“

„One of the differences between men and women, Lindsay. I suspect that most women who are dependent on men control their feelings. I’ve spent most of my life keeping peace, making sure that my father or my brother and then my husband was happy, comfortable and, heaven forbid, not angry with me. Or anyone else.“

„Like a junior officer with never a chance of promotion.“

„If you say so.“

„But you see, my lady, the roles are reversed now. You are the one in charge and I am the one who lives to see that you are happy and comfortable and, heaven forbid, not angry at me.“

„How odd,“ she said, considering his words, „but I see that you are right.“ She laughed a little. „Perhaps that was the real reason I gave into the anger last night. To lose some of that self-control with someone I felt“ – she paused, searching for the right word – „someone I felt safe with.“

The word hung between them for a moment. She felt safe with him? How could any woman be so completely wrong? Safe? When all he wanted to do was lay her on the carriage seat and ravish her. That was what the anger was a cover for – for both of them, he suspected. Surely she knew that as well as he did. He cleared his throat and tried a smile. „As I said, it was my pleasure.“

„Surely you do not mean you liked my ill temper?“

„No.“ He could at least be honest about this. „But it did make a refreshing change from your inclination to phrase all your wishes as questions.“ When she would have spoken, he raised his hand. „I see now where that comes from: a lifetime of caution, trying to appear thoughtful, while still making your wishes known.“

„That makes me sound like one of those managing women that are so unappealing.“

„Not at all. More like someone who feels the need to be circumspect.“ He stopped, realizing how carefully she did protect herself, how guarded she was except around friends or in the security of her home. Did she even grasp that he was another line of defense between herself and society? Probably not, since he himself had only this moment realized it.

She was watching him, waiting for more. But he was not sure how she would react to his revelation and chose to keep it to himself.

„My lady, I can see that your urge to please is much too well developed. Feel free to irritate me as often as you wish.“

She laughed at this absurdity.

He leaned closer and pressed his mouth to hers, because he could no longer resist the look in her eyes, the invitation in her laugh. No coyness from his lady – another convention ignored. She leaned closer, her hands pressed between them, then sliding up to circle his neck. She was feminine, soft, willing. He tasted her passion and felt it rising to match his own.

Some small, still rational part of his brain resisted the temptation to deepen the kiss, to take them to a place beyond friendship. They ended this sweetest of kisses three times, but finally, end it they did. Her response touched his heart. He prayed it would not complicate his life too much.

„Ah,“ she whispered, her mouth still close enough to touch his lips, „I’ve been wishing that you would do that.“

He smiled, a smile he was sure she could feel even with her eyes closed. „Wish or not, I’m not sure that was wise.“

He moved away, and she opened her eyes. „Major, I do not think the pleasure of kissing and wisdom can exist in the same world.“

He raised her gloved hand and kissed it. „Then the pleasure is mine.“

„Not all of it, Major,“ she said with a mischievous grin.

Eleven

Lindsay heard two female voices in the entry and went to open his study door. „I need to talk to Poppy, Miss Truslow.“

„Certainly, Major. As soon as she changes from her play clothes.“

„Now, if you please. I would prefer her being dirty to my being late for my next appointment.“

„Are you going to see your particular friend, Papa?“

He did not answer her, since that phrase was precisely what he wanted to talk to her about.

She took his hand and sat next to him on the settee. She sat very still and tried for a ladylike appearance, the effort seriously compromised by the dirt on her face and her muddy hem. Had Grace Cardovan looked like this as a child, before her natural enthusiasms were curbed by marriage to Anderson? Yes, it was entirely possible that this was the child’s version of her rediscovered joie de vivre.

„Poppy?“

She turned to him with an expression of disdainful interest. He almost laughed out loud.

„Where did you learn mat expression? Certainly not from Miss Truslow.“ At least he hoped not.

„From my friend Verity’s governess. I was trying to look like she does when she comes to the park and Miss Truslow talks to her.“

Miss Truslow must be desperate for friends, Lindsay thought.

„I think I like Poppy’s smile much better.“

She grinned, and he nodded his approval.

„So, Poppy.“ He cleared his throat and considered the best approach to the somewhat delicate subject. „I understand that you have been telling your friends some amazing stories.“

„I have?“

„Yes. That your papa is going to be married and soon you will have a mama.“

Poppy sat back and began to bounce her feet against the edge of the settee. „It is not a made-up story, is it? You do have a particular friend, and why else would you spend so much time with a real lady if you did not wish to marry her?“

A real lady? He could speak on that subject for an hour. He had met a dozen of society’s „real ladies“ who were more whore than Poppy’s mother had been. He would, however, leave that discussion to Miss Truslow.

„Because I am seeing someone does not mean that I will marry her. Listen to me carefully, my girl: You must stop expecting me to bring a mama home to you.“

„I do not precisely expect it, Papa. It’s more like a wish.“ She nodded as if that was the perfect explanation, and stopped thumping her feet. „Like a wish.“

„I see. Then shall I give your coin back to you so you can make the wish?“

„No, Papa, I already made one. You must keep the coin and give it to someone else. Do you remember I wished for a mama and a papa? But I told you that only part of it came true, and now I see that the other part will too.“

„No, Poppy. It will not. Miss Truslow is as close to a mama as you will come.“

„You are going to marry Miss Truslow?“ She was wide-eyed with surprise.

„No, I am not.“ He closed his eyes and prayed for the right words. „I am not going to marry anyone. Do you understand that?“

„Yes, Papa.“

„And you must stop telling your friends that it will happen. That is one way that very nasty gossip begins. And no true lady spreads gossip. Miss Truslow will agree with me on that.“

„But Papa, if you sell your commission and have some money, then can you marry someone?“

„Where did you hear that?“ He was going to have to curtail trips to the park if marriage and money were all they discussed there.

„I asked Jesseck how rich we were and he said that as soon as you sell your commission we will be quite comfortable.“

„Am I all that anybody in this house talks about?“

„No, Papa. Sometimes we talk about Billy’s new teeth.“

That was a relief. Dared he hope that when Billy began to crawl it would push his papa to second place? „Yes, Poppy, we will be quite comfortable when I sell my commission, but that has nothing to do with the possibility of marriage.“

„Why would she not want to marry you? You are very handsome and have the Waterloo medal.“

„Because we are only friends, Poppy.“ This was worse than being questioned by the General. „It is all that we want to be to each other.“

„Oh, like Jesseck and Miss Truslow. They take tea together, but Jesseck would rather hold Nancy’s hand.“

„Is that so?“ Jesseck and Nancy. There was his own little bit of gossip.

The new clock in the hall struck the hour and Lindsay realized that he was on the verge of being embarrassingly late for his ride in the park with Grace. „I have to leave now. Do we understand each other, daughter?“

„Yes, Papa. I will stop talking about a new mama until you sell your commission.“ She spoke the last as though her patience with the process was a challenge.

Lindsay nodded and sent her off to clean up for supper. It was not the complete capitulation he had hoped for, but since it might well take years to sell his commission he would leave it at that.

He made his way to Norfolk Street, relieved to find that Grace was late herself. He spent some time with Cardovan, talking over the war years yet again. Cardovan spoke of the Peninsula as if they had been there yesterday. For his part, Lindsay had done his best to forget the misery of the winters.

„Can hardly help but think of it these days, Major. The dedication of the Waterloo Bridge is upon us.“

„On the second anniversary of the battle.“

„I’ve decided that I will go. Have no medal to show, but think I need to be there.“ He thumped his cane against the side of the chair. „You know, for all the men who are not there.“

„Yes, George, I do know.“ He tried to think of something to lighten the atmosphere. „Do you think they would have had the ceremony on the anniversary of Waterloo if we had fought on the eighteenth of February instead of the eighteenth of June?“

His question had the desired effect, and he left Cardovan laughing.

The park was crowded. He and Grace sat in the open carriage even though they could have walked faster than the equipage progressed.

That one burst of temper, or perhaps the kiss, had cleared the air for the last week. He had joined her for brandy twice since that first ill-fated invitation. But there had been no more kisses.

Once Cardovan had joined them, and had spent an hour giving them all the details of a visit by Colonel Wendle, the battalion commander of the 28th.

The other time they had been alone, if you did not count the butler coming in with brandy and then with some cakes and then with word that the rain had let up and would the major be wanting a carriage.

„We seem to be drawing some stares today. Do I have dirt on my face?“ She turned toward him and they smiled at each other. He shook his head, and she shrugged.

He knew why people were watching, and it was not because Poppy had made him self-conscious. Each dance, each dinner, each time they were together they were more drawn to each other. He felt as though she were a flower opening to the sun and he were a bee who longed to sip nectar. And that bad bit of poetry was more than enough to convince him that he was in danger of compromising the single thing that kept his employment honorable.

They could have found privacy if they had wanted it, but the lingering power of their first kiss made him, at least, fear the consequences of the next one. If he gave in to the wanting, if he took her and all she was offering, he would lose all respect for himself. Being cautious enough for both of them was infinitely better than saying good-bye.

Twelve

„We must leave now. If we wait any longer the Waterloo Bridge will be opened without us, and I do so want to see the Prince Regent,“ Grace said, urging them from the table and the meal she hoped would hold them through the afternoon. „George, would you like the last bit of wine?“

„Grace, this will guarantee that I sleep through the entire event.“ He leaned as if to speak confidentially, but did not lower his voice. „And I snore.“

They were a merry group. George seemed to be in better humor than he had been for months. His mother was so pleased by her son’s good spirits that she did not need wine to feel light-headed. Grace had plans of her own. Plans she had shared with no one but Kitty, who was given the day and night off to celebrate as she wished.

„I tell you what, George, you sit near Lindsay and he will nudge you if you nod off.“ She glanced over at the major to see if he would agree, and shook her head.

Lindsay was slumped down in his chair pretending he was already asleep, then an indelicate snore made the other two laugh. Rousing from his supposed stupor, he looked around. „What did I miss?“

They all crowded into the carriage, still laughing, and settled for the ride to the river and the Waterloo Bridge, the newest and most graceful addition to the river scene.

It was a day filled with extremes. Tears and laughter, cheers and solemn attention. The bridge was named for the battle so „that posterity would remember the great and glorious achievement.“ The tolls were excused for this first day and the span was crowded as people made the trip from the end of the Strand to Lambeth and back. It was slow progress, whether on foot or by carriage, but no one complained.

Grace declared that they would join the parade. Aunt Louise insisted that George put his leg up, and it was a testament to the overall good humor, or perhaps the wine, that he allowed her to fuss over him.

George rested his leg on the opposite seat. It meant that Grace and the major had to sit very close together. Grace loved the feel of Lindsay beside her, the way his broad chest made her feel safe and cared for. He put his arm along the cushions behind them in an effort to give her an inch more space, and the feeling of safety changed to a thrill of awareness.

The open carriage made the two men in uniform available to the crowd, and everyone from their friends to the lowliest flower seller paid their respects to the two soldiers who, as one man said, had „made England safe for the next hundred years.“ He included George in the praise despite his lack of a Waterloo medal. Today, any man in uniform was a hero.

There was a fair set up to 4he southeast of the bridge, and Grace was delighted when her suggestion that they stop a while was well received.

She and Lindsay made their way through the fair, his medal drawing so much attention that finally he took it off and stuffed it in his pocket. The crowd was a mix of every class and calling; it was one of those rare days when all of London gathered, remembering the celebration of the war’s end a year earlier and determined to reprise the good feelings of peace and a secure future.

There was the occasional scuffle. When fists were flying very near where they stood, Lindsay leaned down to her. „Do you want to leave? It is a bit close here.“

„No.“ She laughed as a missed punch resulted in a very comic tumble. „It gives me an excuse to hold on tight to you.“

There were jugglers, trained animals and an illusionist who held their attention for so long that he asked them if they were interested in an apprenticeship.

When they shook their heads, the illusionist asked if Grace would like to assist him. She really did want to go, but her aunt hissed in her ear, „That is unacceptable, Grace.“ And the major held fast to her arm when it appeared she might have stepped forward anyway.

As they watched the young girl who took her place, Grace turned to Lindsay. „Do you believe in magic?“

He watched the lowering sun as it lit her from behind, creating an aura of light around her. Gradually the crowed faded away, until it was just the two of them. He must have watched her for a long time, because finally she whispered, „Are you not sure or have you forgotten the question?“

„Do I believe in magic?“ If she meant the absurd wish that had brought them together, he could not deny it. But she had never heard of Poppy, much less Poppy’s coin. „Do I believe in magic? See, I did hear your question. And my answer is no. What we saw are tricks that fool the eye.“

„No, not what he does, for you are right, that is only illusion. I mean the kind of magic that changes your life.“

He could feel Poppy’s coin heavy in his pocket. „Well, I do believe in miracles.“

„You do?“ With unspoken agreement, they moved away from the exhibition and toward the spot where the carriage awaited them.

„You cannot see the amazing ways people survive in war and not believe in miracles.“

„But not magic?“ She did not wait for him to answer. „Well, I believe in magic, Major.“ She said it as though she was ready for a great debate. She turned to him, „Could it be that that magic is a miracle without God’s blessing?“

„That sounds slightly pagan, my dear.“

She looked at him in some surprise. What had he said? Surely she realized he did not really believe her a pagan?

„You may be right, my lady. Without God’s intervention I suppose magic could be used for both good and ill.“ For he and God knew that the magic of Poppy’s coin had been both a blessing and a bane.

Mrs. Cardovan ran into some friends who invited her to join them for the fireworks. Initially, she refused, insisting that she needed to escort her son home, but she was easily convinced when Lindsay insisted that he could give George all the help he needed. Neither man was particularly interested in the display, having seen too many of the bombardments they imitated, enough to last a lifetime.

They were as silent on the ride home as they had been talkative earlier. George made to speak at least once but both men could see that Grace was lost in thought, her face so clearly determined that they knew it must involve something serious. Whatever George had to say, he thought better of it, leaving Lindsay to wonder exactly what Grace was thinking.

Thirteen

Grace was determined to take advantage of this opportunity. She would make her own magic and hope for a miracle.

When they reached the house, Cardovan brushed Lindsay’s assistance aside and seemed quite able to make his way up the front steps. Once through the door they all handed cloaks and hats to Petkin and, to Grace’s surprise, George abandoned his cane.

With Lindsay at his side, he made his way up the stairs, if not with speed then with surprising ease.

Grace followed them as they proceeded up to the second-floor bedrooms but went into her own room at the back of the house. It was a long while before she heard Lindsay’s footsteps. Opening her door, she called to him, „Major, is he all right?“

Lindsay shook his head. „Why does he even use the cane?“ he said as he came to her door.

„I told you before, Aunt Louise is a loving mother, but much too protective of him. And he is a loving son who wishes to make his mother happy.“

„No wonder he prefers the army.“

„No mothers there?“

The major nodded with a smile. She loved that smile, the way it made her feel that her words were an echo of his thoughts. Grace took a deep breath. „My maid is off tonight. Would you help with my stays?“

His smile vanished. „You want me to come into your bedroom?“ He spoke the words slowly, as though he did not quite understand the concept.

„Yes, please. I hardly want to unlace them in the hall.“ When he said nothing she stepped back into her room, leaving the door open. She was terrified, but reminded herself that all she had asked for was help with her stays. No more.

He came in behind her and stood by the door. „Are there not other maids?“

Grace did not answer him, only walked back to the door and closed it. „Shall I wake them?“

When he did not answer, she turned her back so that he could begin to undo the buttons of her dress. It took an interminable amount of time, the silence complete save only for the sound of their breathing. His was a little ragged, and she almost told him to leave and that she would wait for her aunt.

Then her dress was loosed and she let it slide down her arms so he could easily reach the corset laces. She could feel the tips of his fingers as they worked the silk strings, each touch making her want more. It took him a moment to realize that he must undo them completely for her to remove the garment.

The last of the laces slipped through the holes and Lindsay grasped her shoulders and turned her to him. „God, Grace, what kind of test is this?“

„Test?“ she whispered even as his mouth silenced hers with a desperate kiss.

At first the embrace was arousing, she half undressed, he fully clothed. It was like the conqueror demanding his prize. His touch reached into her with such power that she almost let him have his way, let him take her as though there was nothing more between them than lust. But there was something here beyond the anticipated pleasure. She could feel it in the way his arms held her, the way his body pressed hers. This was as much about anger as it was about sex.

„Stop, David,“ she whispered in his ear, not afraid, not yet; she would only be afraid if he did not stop. „Please, stop, David,“ she whispered again, near heartbroken for him.

He pulled away from her with a frustrated groan that held the echo of his rage. He did not let her go. Instead he leaned his forehead on hers and they stood together, until his breathing steadied, his bruising hold the only sign that he was still angry. „Angry“ is too gentle a word, she thought, infuriated, disgusted.

She leaned back, and his grip eased. „I am so sorry, David. Sorry for teasing you when I did not mean to. I truly did not intend that at all. Kitty did have the evening off. But I did not quite know how to tell you that we would be undisturbed.“

He said nothing. That was his way, she realized, when he was trying not to say something that would hurt her. He was such a gentleman. Most of the time.

He stepped away from her. „Good night then, my lady.“

She nodded, trying to decide whether to speak or not. Either way it would change them forever. If she held silent he would never be more than an employee. Or she could share more of herself than she ever had with any man. She had to decide in the time it took for him to walk to the door.

His hand was on the latch before she spoke.

„I understand, you know.“ She pulled the shell of her dress over her nakedness.

With the door opened a crack, he turned back to her. „I think not, my lady.“

„Then you must think again.“ She paused, trying for a practical tone, failing completely. „I understand exactly how it feels to be wanted only for your body. How humiliating it is, how used you feel.“

The space of the room was between them, but she had his attention. „It was that way for most of my marriage. Oh, at first I could pretend that Anderson felt some regard for me. But I should have known better when he never once considered my – “ Grace stopped herself. That was entirely too personal.

„For him sex was all about creating an heir. And in mat I proved to be a disappointment. He married me for a son, because his father insisted it was time for him to get an heir.“

„He did not care a whit that I enjoyed the theater, disliked eating before noon and the very idea of boxing. He only cared that I was young enough to bear a dozen children. But in ten years of marriage I had only four pregnancies, and all of them ended in miscarriage.“

„Stop, Grace.“ He closed the door and moved back into the room. „You do not have to relive that life.“

She looked away from his sympathy. It was not what she wanted. „No, I will tell you. I suppose it is like reliving a battle you would as soon forget, but I owe you this much, so that you can understand.“

„Understand what? That you have lived through your own hell?“

„No, why I hired you. Why I never want to marry again. Why, until I met you, even the thought of a lover was distasteful.“

He came closer, and it made it more difficult to speak. She could feel his distress. His now mixed with hers.

„I knew what my duty was, and he was never cruel. But it was as though I was a broodmare and of no other value. There was not a person at Beauville that did not know and did not measure my worth by my failure. No matter that I visited the sick or learned the servants’ names. Because there was no heir I lost their respect.“

„Oh, David, I know how awful it can be, but now I see that there is a big difference between knowing and understanding. I am sorry, sorry from the deepest part of my heart.“ She wanted to turn away, to recoup some of her detachment, to, quite literally, put some distance between them, but she would not allow herself even that small comfort.

„He was a fool.“

„He was a man.“ No sooner had she spoken than she realized the insult. She opened her mouth to take the words back and realized David was smiling. He lowered his head and raised his hand to hide his amusement and took a long moment to recover himself. When he looked up all humor was gone, his expression loving and filled with anguish.

„Do not apologize, Grace.“ He came closer and took her hands, kissing each one as he had once before. „I want to thank you. You have given me so much. Much more than money. You have shown me that there is a place for me in a world without war. That what so many died for was worth preserving, even for a silly fop like Fetters, but especially for women like you, your aunt and the dozens of others I have met these last four months.“

„You make it sound as though I considered you some sort of charity. David, you are the best friend I have ever had. It was hardly a burden sharing the Season with you.“ Why did this sound like a farewell? Something in his expression, his tone, his words? All of them, she realized.

„There is one thing more we can share.“ He pulled her into his arms. He slipped her dress from her shoulder and pressed a kiss there. „And Grace, I have no desire for an heir. There is not money to leave one, after all, and my life is full enough without one.“

„I did not hire you to be my lover,“ she said.

He gave her a look that challenged her claim, and she let him slip the dress down farther.

„Though, David, I must admit that I lost sight of that the first time you kissed me.“

He kissed the spot that he had uncovered. „A dangerous admission, Grace.“

She smiled and bobbed her head.

„Very dangerous when you are mostly disrobed.“ He took her in his arms and kissed her lightly.

It was an invitation, and she accepted it. In moments she was dressed only in her chemise and stockings. She stayed his hand and played his valet, helping him out of his coat and then going to work on the buttons of his shirt.

He took her hands from his shirtfront. „Now is not the time to be a lady, my darling. This is not about a dozen fine buttons.“ He made quick work of the shirt, as she did her stockings.

She was sure she blushed when he drew the chemise over her head, but then it was about touching, feeling his skin against hers, his heart thundering, hers answering. There was nothing familiar about this. And Grace knew that love and lust made this as different from what she had known before as the difference between homespun and silk.

They were both experienced in the mechanics, but both novices when it came to love. It was exquisite and basic, torture and pleasure and finally release and a sunburst of pleasure that bound them, eclipsing all other experience.

She must have fallen asleep, though not for so long that she woke up disoriented. She knew exactly where she was and who she was with. She turned her head to look at him. He was deeply asleep, as though the act had exhausted him, exhausted more than his body. Her own felt well used, not hurt at all but as though she had not done this in a long time. One husband and one lover in fourteen years was hardly excess.

Lying next to him was as lovely as the pleasure he had shown her. Feeling safe, secure. And more than that. Feeling a oneness with him, as though the places where they touched now – along the leg, at the shoulder – made them one. Even with only his deep, exhausted breaths beside her, she felt the union.

David Lindsay was everything she could want in a lover. In a companion.

But perhaps not in a husband. Not that his poverty mattered. She was wealthy enough for two.

No, she would not marry him because once she did, he would be the one in charge. She would be the one who must make him happy, who must obey his wishes and subdue her own. She liked her life as it was. If there were a chance for children she might think differently, but she was realist enough to know that there was little hope of that. One husband was enough. A lifetime of lovers would be far more satisfying.

At this moment, though, she could not imagine that lifetime filled with anyone but him.

She smiled, and then her eyes filled with tears. Oh dear. She had not done this since childhood. Felt so much happiness that tears slid down her cheeks. This was different, completely different from heartbreak. This was the heart overflowing with joy.

When had those happy tears stopped? Sometime after her marriage. Never once had she felt this with her husband. But then they had never made love. Despite the fact David was being paid, this was a more personal, intimate act than she had ever shared with her husband. She edged closer to his side and touched her lips to his shoulder.

Fourteen

Lindsay opened his eyes, instantly alert.

„Is that something you learned in the army? To come awake so quickly?“

He did not answer her, but stared at her as if trying to absorb every detail of her beside him. The silence drew out and Grace’s own smile faded when he did not return it.

„This is the end, Grace.“

„What do you mean? Was it that awful? I thought you found as much fulfillment as I did.“ She knew she was blushing, and knew why. Being naked together had been perfect until he had spoken. Now it felt all wrong.

„It was…“ He bit off whatever he was going to say, and the tenderness that went with it. „It was very satisfying.“

‘„Very satisfying’?“ It might have moved her heaven and earth but his was still solidly in place. She made to turn away from him, angry and chagrined both.

He pulled her back to him and kissed her. „I lied. It was wonderful.“ He kissed her again, this time longer and with rising passion. „You are the answer to my dreams. You are everything a man could want. I could love you again now, tonight and for a hundred years and it would not be enough.“ He kissed her one more time, lightly, and even though it was a bare touch of the lips she felt it in the deepest part of her, which still echoed with pleasure. He pulled the coverlet over her and sat up on the edge of her bed. „But this is the end, my lady.“

He looked at her even as he pulled his clothes from the floor and began to dress. „You must know that I can no longer accept money from you, work for you – not when it comes to this.“

„To what?“ She did not mean to sound confused, but had he not just said that he wanted her?

„Do you now see that I am no better than a well-paid whore? Or perhaps a courtesan, as you once said.“

She was at a loss for words, her happy tears evaporating.

„It is more than my self-worth can tolerate. It would be different if I had sold my commission and could come to you with some money of my own. But that has not happened; God only knows if it ever will. It is one thing for society to think we are lovers – I have no control over what others think. But now it is the truth.“

„But it happens. We could name many couples so engaged.“

„But how many men are paid for their night’s work, Grace?“

She shook her head, knowing any answer would be the wrong one.

„Put yourself in my place. Tell me, how would you feel?“

She had deliberately avoided the thought.

„It is degrading. And I will have no more of it. I needed employment and so I accepted what you offered. But no need is worth this compromise of my honor.“

„Then we can go back to the way we were before. Friends.“

„Yes, I can see from your expression that you know as well as I do that is impossible.“ He came to her and pulled her from the bed and kissed her ruthlessly. The kiss trapped them both. She could feel his arousal and her own hunger. He stopped the kiss and pushed her away, none too gently. „This will always be there between us.“

He returned to his shirt buttons and then reached for his cravat.

„I will not let you go.“

He whirled back to her with his jacket in hand. „You have no choice in this. I am no longer your employee. You may command, but I am no longer compelled to obey.“ He had his jacket on, was across the room and out the door before she could think of any argument that might sway him.

She lay back down on a bed that was too big and cold without him, to a world that was made too small without him to laugh with. She moved over to feel the linen that still held his warmth, and the tears that trickled out of her eyes were not from an excess of happiness.

He had not been thinking with his brain but with his body, and, oh yes, his heart. No matter why he had made love to her, he could not go back. If he did he would have to live with the gradual destruction of his honor. And it was the only thing he had left. For she had surely taken all of his heart, and part of his soul.

The sounds of her pleasure, the look of complete surprise, had touched his heart as surely as it had aroused his body. Grace Anderson had never known the pleasure of sex before. Married for ten years and like a virgin for all that. And the pleasure had not been one-sided. Her wonder had made him feel powerful. She might have been the one paying for services, but he had been the one in command. He had shown her how fine it could be, and had proved the same to himself.

God help him, his heart ached as though he had taken a blow to the chest. His mind was a muddle of memories he wanted to relive and banish at the same time. If only he could sell his commission. It was the last bit of magic he would ever ask for.

Grace could not sleep. It was possible that she could never sleep in this bed again. She got up, found a robe and went to the window to draw the curtains, then began to pick up the clothes they had let fall. How she wished she could do this night over. This whole Season. How she wished she had never offered Lindsay employment.

She dropped her clothes on the chair in her dressing room and pulled out her oldest, most comfortable nightgown.

Would she have met him someplace else? Would he have asked her to dance? Could they have reached her bedroom some other way that would not have wounded him so?

She sank into the chair at her dressing table and pulled the last of the pins from her hair, combing it out as she had every night for at least fifteen years. The rhythmic strokes often allowed a contemplation where truth revealed itself. It did not fail her tonight.

She was in love with David Lindsay. Not the man who wore a uniform with pride and a medal as a tribute. Not the man who was always a gentleman. She was in love with the man who had shown her passion. Tonight had been the culmination, but there was more to the passion they shared than sex. He had made her laugh, encouraged her anger, made her feel in ways she’d thought long lost.

She turned from her seat to face the door, seeing him as he said her name that one last time, stone-faced and in control. She knew she would not see him again.

Something lying on the red carpet caught her eye. At the edge of the chair where David had carelessly tossed his uniform, she saw a coin. She bent to pick it up. Certainly it belonged to him, for it was not a coin she recognized. Something foreign, with English on one side.

It was hers now. One little bit of him to keep. She squeezed her eyes shut. Where had her pride gone? She was a mature woman, not greatly experienced, but one who knew the ways of the world.

Yes, she knew the ways of society, but she wanted so much more, had always wanted more. Oh how she wished that he could love her in return. She wished it as much as she wished for children.

Even as she thought how foolish it was to make wishes, when none had ever been granted, the coin warmed her hand. How odd, she thought. She studied it more carefully. It was bright and shiny, as though well cared for despite the slight dent, and she wondered if it was some kind of talisman for him.

Had it saved his life? Would David worry when he found it missing?

George would give it to him if she asked. Yes, that is what she would do. She could not trust herself to see him again and not beg for his attention. She owed his honor and her own better than that.

From her point of view love might make all things allowable, but for David Lindsay honor outweighed every other consideration. She would respect that. She would, even if it broke her heart.

Fifteen

He did not want to come back to the house on Norfolk Street, but it would have been insulting to ignore Car-dovan’s request. Coward that he was, Lindsay waited until he saw Grace and her aunt leave in the carriage, then trusted they would be gone long enough for him to complete his business with George and depart before they returned.

Petkin met him at the door with a smile. „Ah, Major, you have only just missed her ladyship. She and Mrs. Car-dovan have gone to the milliner’s.“

„Thank you, Petkin, but 1 am come to see Captain Car-dovan today.“

Petkin took his hat and gloves with an apology for the mistake and went off to see if the captain was available.

Cardovan came back with Petkin. Walking without his cane, looking amazingly fit. There was an air about him, a resolve that gave him the authority he had lost after the misfortune at Ostend.

„Major, come in. I did not expect you so quickly.“

Cardovan led him into the library, a room David would have as soon avoided. It reminded him too forcefully of Grace. If he was honest with himself, everything about the place reminded him of Grace, from the bright front door to the whimsical unicorn on the weather vane four floors above them. He should have suggested they meet elsewhere.

He was so lost in thought that he missed the first of Car-dovan’s words. But he could not help but be brought to the moment when Cardovan finished with „… that I might buy your commission.“

He must have looked as shocked as he felt, for Cardovan’s confidence faded. „It’s the real reason I was so pleased by the colonel’s visit. He came to see if I was ready to rejoin the regiment. He was actually the one who suggested I consider your commission. Can you believe that?“

Of course he could. But Cardovan gave him no time to comment.

„Even though I missed the whole of the Waterloo campaign, he still wants me with the 28th. He was afraid I was aiming for another regiment. He said that I am the captain he most wants to move up. He says he wants someone who is equal to the challenge of replacing you – not that I think I can.“ Cardovan reddened a little. „There are two captains senior to me; one is selling out and the other Wendle does not want as a major.“

Cardovan paused, and Lindsay grabbed the chance to speak. „That is by all means wonderful, George.“

„Then you are sure that you will not regret it?“

Cardovan looked as though it was the height of folly to give up a commission.

„Yes, I’m sure, George. I have responsibilities here now, and ten years in uniform is as much as I wish to test fate.“

„I’m not finished. It’s because I missed Waterloo.“ He stopped a moment and considered before he spoke. „Do you think Boney will give us another chance?“

„Pray God, not.“

Cardovan nodded and shrugged away his disappointment. One thing they both knew is that there would always be wars.

„I hesitated because I know my mother wants me here with her. But, Lindsay, I cannot live my life because some woman wants me to be safe, even if it is my mother. I hate it here. I want the army life. That’s all there is to it.“

„I understand completely. But have you told her yet?“

„No.“ He was smart enough to look slightly worried at the prospect. „I wanted to be sure this was not some fantastic dream.“

„The colonel wants you. You hardly need my blessing.“

„But I want it, sir. You have been my model for as long as we have served together. Even as an ensign I knew you were the best the 28th had to name.“

It appeared as if Cardovan was ready to list his virtues, and Lindsay raised his hand. „Enough, George. The commission is yours and I thank you for the consideration.“

As Cardovan chattered on about the new uniform he was to order from Westin and who was the best boot maker, Lindsay realized that this was the George Cardovan he had known in the Peninsula. The man who had spent the last two years in London was a pale imitation. Surely even his mother could see that he was meant for the military life.

They had not been together twenty minutes when he heard voices in the hall.

„I will not be a minute, Aunt. Come into the library while I send Petkin for George.“

Suddenly Mrs. Cardovan and Grace were in the room. Grace stopped short when she saw him, George’s mother’s expression was guarded, but she greeted him with her usual good humor.

Lindsay could see that the impetuous George Cardovan was fully restored. He took his mother’s arm. „Come with me, Mama. I must speak with you immediately.“

„That would be rude, George. You have a guest.“

„Now, Mother.“

Lindsay smiled, Cardovan already sounded as though he was in command, and if he could make his mother obey him then the men of the 28th would be child’s play.

„Grace and the major are quite capable of finding something to talk about.“

With a glance over her shoulder, Mrs. Cardovan allowed herself to be led from the room.

Grace remained near the door, staring at him, still as a statue. Lindsay walked toward her, and his movement seemed to awaken her. She did not approach him but went to the mantel.

„I believe you left this here.“

She handed him Poppy’s coin and he took it, their hands barely touching.

„Ah, thank you, Grace. I would be lost without Poppy’s magic coin.“

„It is magic, then? Did it save your life? When I saw the dent in it I wondered.“

How could his whole world have changed in less than twelve hours? When he’d walked out of her bedroom he thought he would never see her again. Cardovan’s news had changed that. But Grace still looked as miserable as he had been. No wonder Poppy had asked him if he was ill or if someone had died.

„Grace, the first day I saw you, I followed you down Bond Street. You were laughing with Kitty, and that laugh was like a siren’s song. It always has been. It always will be. I wanted you from that moment. Just before Fetters performed his version of an introduction, I was thinking that once I sold my commission I would discover an entree into society and find you.“

Lindsay walked over to her and took her hands. They were cold, and he raised each to his lips and would not let them go.

„I’ve sold my commission, Grace. To your cousin, of all people.“

„You’ve sold it? To George? Why did he wait so long? Did he not know how important it was to you? To us?“

He could have answered each of those questions. He kissed her instead, and felt all the tension melt from her.

„I thought I would never see you again, David.“

„I’m so sorry, Grace.“

She pressed a kiss to his mouth to silence him. „Your sense of honor is one of the most admirable things about you. Never think you must apologize for it.“ She leaned back in his arms. „I should be furious with you, with George, for torturing me this way, but I love you too much to be anything but grateful that you are here again.“ Her kiss proved it, the love pouring from her as it had last night, filling him, making him more completely a person than he had ever been before.

Grace pulled him down onto the settee and sat as close to him as possible without actually being in his lap, though she did seem to be considering that. She nodded at the coin on the table. „Is this really magic?“

„Yes, I think it must be.“ For his wish had been granted and had brought him to this moment. „Magic, verging on a miracle.“

„I wished on it.“ She leaned toward him and whispered, „I wished that you could love me.“

„Oh darling, you did not waste a wish on that, did you? For you have had my heart from the first, and my love not long after. That night you were so angry with me. That first time you did your best to command me to do your bidding? How could I not love someone who was trying so hard?“

„That was the moment you knew you loved me? When you were so angry?“

„And you do not think that love and anger can exist together?“

„Well, yes, they can, since I have felt the same. But will it not make for an unsettled life?“

„It may well, but who could wish for more?“

She shook her head at his optimism but did not argue. There was no need for words. Their kisses ended in laughter, and Grace brushed away what she called her happy tears.

„You know, David, if we had met at some ball or picnic, I would not have let you close to me. You are used to command, and I wanted to be the one in charge. It would have taken no more than one dance for me to see that and to send you on your way.“

„You think that what happened between us was meant to be, was the only way for you to come to know me and me to know you?“

„Yes, and I worry even now that we do not know each other as we really are.“ She was resting her head on his shoulder as she spoke, and he was sure that her worry was not so deep as to be an obstacle, especially since he had thought this through and had an answer.

„I think we have each lived the other’s life, Grace. What could be a better way to learn? It is bound to make both of us more understanding. It is not what I asked for, but it is the true gift of that wish.“

She stood up then, moved away from him and made a circuit of the room. „Clear thinking is impossible when we are so close. Do you think that door has a lock? I have never had any reason to care before.“

As he went to the door, Grace faced her one last fear. David said he would have no money to leave an heir. But leaving money to one’s offspring was not the only reason men longed for children.

He would never have a child from her. Heaven had decreed otherwise. They would have to talk about it sometime. But neither one of them had spoken of marriage; perhaps they never would. She would not ruin the joy of the moment. She would be selfish for a little longer before she reminded him that he had to make a choice.

He turned the key with a satisfied „Aha“ and pulled it from the lock. Holding it as though it was a battle prize, he came to her and presented it with a bow.

She took it and set it on the table with the coin, the glitter distracting her just a little. She turned to him. „How did you come to have a magic coin, David?“

„My daughter Poppy gave it to me.“

Amazement and a little thread of fear trickled through her.

He stopped kissing her neck. „What is it?“

„You have a daughter?“ She moved out of his arms, looked at the coin and wondered.

„Yes. They are not precisely my children. There is Poppy, who is nine, and Billy, who is not quite a year. I am their guardian and will raise them as if they were my own.“

He was not smiling, but watching her with an intensity she had not seen before. She realized that he was afraid. „Children were the rest of my wish last night. I wished you would love me as much as I wished for children.“ She raised his hand and kissed it. „Oh, David, I will love Poppy and Billy. As I would my own.“

She flung her arms around him and kissed him fully, then leaned back in his arms. „Why did you never tell me about them?“

„Because you never asked. You were very careful never to ask of my personal life.“

„Only because you were so offended at all the information George had given me. You called it spying. After that, I was ever trying to respect your privacy.“ When he did no more than shake his head, she had to nod in agreement. „No more secrets. Never again.“

„Did I hear you say that you would love my children as you would your own? Does that mean you might marry me?“ He paused, then added, „Two children are not the traditional wedding gift, but will you at least consider it? I cannot imagine life without you.“

This kiss was happiness, pure joy given from one to another. It would anchor their world forever. Another thought occurred to him, and he gave her a devilish smile. „Or can I use the children as a bribe?“

She laughed. „Children? Two children? And one is a babe? David, I cannot imagine a better wedding present.“

Epilogue

London, England March 2007

The girl sat in silence as the docent ended his story. „Why, that was wonderful.“ She leaned forward in her chair. „Is it true?“

When he would have answered, she shook her head. „No, don’t tell me. I want to believe that Grace and David are as real as you and I and lived forever happy. Did they ever have any children of their own?“ Again she answered her own question. „No, but Poppy and Billy were enough.“

„I guess I’d better catch up with Jim,“ she added, but she didn’t move from the seat. The docent waited patiently. The question burst from her. „What do you do when you are just days from leaving a country that calls to your soul? I can’t imagine leaving. The thought of Topeka makes me shudder, and not because it’s still winter in Kansas.“

„Why can’t you stay?“ the docent asked.

„There’s the whole visa thing. Jim says I can come back, but once I’m home there are my sisters and mother and grandmother and best friends from school. Not a one of them would understand. They think Topeka is perfect.“

„For them it may be.“ The docent handed her the coin. „Take this with you as a memento. It will remind you that anything is possible.“

„You can’t give that away!“

„Of course I can.“ The docent shrugged. „I can get another one easily.“

She let him talk her into it. It was only later, as she sank onto a bar stool at Earl’s Place, that she actually considered whether the coin was magic. She put it on the bar in front of her, then picked it up and held it tight. „I wish there was a way for me to stay here.“ The coin felt warm, but then, the place was filled with people, the room overheated, the crowd cheering as they watched the last minutes of a soccer game.

She hadn’t spotted Jim yet, but it hardly mattered. He wouldn’t be interested in anything but the score. Instead she watched as the bartender worked his way to her spot at the end of the bar. Not the usual guy. An extra hired because of the crowd? With a practiced efficiency he took orders, got drinks and made change.

He was nice enough looking, and then he smiled. It changed his pleasant face to fabulous. It was a smile that made the world a brighter place and drew an answering one from her.

„What can I get you?“

His accent was different, not at all suited to a pub. This voice belonged at Eton or Oxford. Or somewhere with Prince William.

She pointed to the wine bottle he held, for some stupid reason not wanting to open her mouth and betray the fact she was an American. She’d forgotten about the magic coin and it fell from her hand, rolled along the bar toward him and onto the floor.

She gasped and stood on the stool, trying to see where it had gone.

„Under the cooler.“ He considered. „Is it important to you?“

„Oh, yes,“ she answered, „it’s very special.“

„Right then.“ He squatted, reaching under the cooler. He looked up at her with a grimace. „Time to do a little cleaning down here.“ He stretched a little farther and with a triumphant „Yes!“ stood up and handed her the coin.

„Thanks,“ she said, „thanks a lot.“

He nodded and held up the wine bottle, and when she said, „Please,“ he poured her a glass. She reached for her purse, but he waved off payment. „Give me a look at the coin. That’s all the pay I want.“

She was about to hand it back to him when the room erupted into shouts and cheers. The game was over and any number of thirsty sports fiends surged toward the bar.

„If you like, I can wait until the crowd’s gone.“

He leaned across the bar and smiled at her. „Great. That’s exactly what I wished you would say.“