Burning Dawn

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

THANE HAD NEVER experienced such contentment.

He was loath to let Elin out of his sight or the tight clench of his embrace, but he couldn’t risk having her near while he slept. The nightmares... He had to take her to the other—

No. He didn’t. Her room was currently without a bed. Without any furniture. He’d emptied it out, creating a fresh canvas for Elin to paint however she wished.

But she hadn’t. She’d denied him in every way...until he’d pleasured her into accepting.

They would decorate the other room tomorrow. Tonight, he would hold her, as he wanted. He wouldn’t allow himself to sleep.

“Am I glowing?” she asked, rubbing her leg against his.

“Yes.” He didn’t mention just how bright...or just how satisfied he felt about it.

“Good,” she said, surprising him.

Delighting him.

“Thane,” she began softly. “Are we seeing other people while we’re messing around?”

“Did I not make that clear? No. I’m not, and you most definitely are not.” He would kill anyone foolish enough to touch what so obviously belonged to him.

“I hope you hear yourself,” she admonished. “The words most definitely extend to you, too, you know.”

He curled his arm around her head, asserting the barest pressure on her jaw to hold her in place, to force her to look at him. “I hear myself, but do you hear me?” he said, and when she tried to speak again, he added, “You had your turn. Now it’s mine.” She had let him inside her body. Now she would let him inside her mind.

Her heart rate increased, and he wasn’t sure if that boded well or ill.

He continued anyway, saying, “The pleasure I experience with you is worth dying for. Nothing and no one compares. I’ve never had it before, and won’t give it up. Not for any reason. Do you understand?” I’ll keep you all the days of your life. Nothing and no one will separate us. Not even you.

Her little nails curled into his chest. “I understand you sound totally gaga for me.” She rolled to her stomach, half draping him, and rested her cheek on her upraised palm, giving him a wicked grin full of promise.

His body responded. His body always responded to her. But the conversation was too important to pause. “I am more than gaga.”

“That’s nice.”

He pursed his lips. “I’d like to hear you say I’m more than a booty call to you.”

She opened her mouth to do just that—he was sure of it—only to frown. “We’ve got a major problem. We have differing life spans. In a few years, I could have gray hair!”

“And you will look lovely. But you aren’t fully human, and we aren’t sure how you’ll age. Or even if you will. You’ve begun to exhibit a few Phoenix traits.”

“Yes, but—”

“But nothing. You burn when you are aroused, and you healed unnaturally fast from the boulder game. I suspect both abilities activated with the death of your family. Sometimes a traumatic event will do that for a halfling.”

“I didn’t burn in the Phoenix camp.”

“You weren’t aroused while you were there. And I suspect you would have died in that camp if you hadn’t healed supernaturally fast from the punishments.”

“Good point.”

“Perhaps, over the years, other latent traits will emerge.”

She thought for a moment, nodded. “You’re right.”

“I usually am.”

“Ha-ha,” she said drily. “We’ll see if you’re such a funny man the day I have to start wearing diapers.”

He barked out a laugh, surprising them both.

She kicked off the covers and sat up, then crossed her legs. “We have to get you to do that more often.”

Laugh? “I agree. I hereby task you with the job. Every day from now on.”

She quirked a brow. “Does the job pay well?”

“Very.” He traced a fingertip between her breasts. This was his first taste of domestic life, and he loved it. A male...a woman...united. A family. “An orgasm for every laugh.”

Another smile made an appearance—only to fall. “What if you meet someone else and fall in love? What if you want to get married Sent-One-style, to someone of your own race, and start a family?” She gasped. “Thane, we’ve never used protection.”

Needing to feel her against him, he forced her to stretch out alongside him. “First, when I said no woman could compare to you, I meant it. That goes for every woman I will meet in the future. Only a foolish male would wed someone else when he already has the best. Second, Phoenix are only fertile two times a year, and,” he added before she could remind him of her humanity, “I can sense when that occurs.” He paused. “Do you want children?” Had she planned to make one with her husband?

“One day. Not for several years, though. What about you?”

“To be honest, I’ve never thought about it.” Until now. He flattened his hand on her belly, imagined her growing big with his child. His shaft stirred. “Yes,” he rasped. “One day.” With her. Only with her.

They lapsed into silence. He toyed with the ends of her hair, and though she seemed to grow tenser by the second, she yawned.

“What’s wrong?”

“I should really go back to my room,” she said.

“You don’t have a bed.”

“I know, smarty. I meant, go back to the girls.”

He stiffened. “You said you’d move in with me.”

“But I didn’t say when.” Her entire body began to tremble. “I really should go. Like, now. Please.”

She tried to tug from him, but he held firm. Something warm and wet splashed on his chest. He patted the area and brought his fingers into the light streaming in from the bathroom. Tears?

“What is this?” he asked gently.

A floodgate opened, and she sobbed against him, her entire body heaving. “I’m looking forward to a future without Bay.”

He held her for what seemed an eternity, smoothing his hands through her hair, along her spine. When finally she calmed, he pinched her chin, forcing her to face him. Tears had caught in her lashes. Her eyes were swollen, her skin splotched with red. Fragile right now. Proceed with care.

An inexplicable need to make it better flooded him. “How are you planning a future without him? He has never left your heart. He goes on the journey with you.” And Thane was still a bit jealous, he realized, but with Elin safe in his arms, the emotion was muted. He could share her, for the male had helped make her what she was.

She sniffled. “That’s so beautiful.”

“And true.”

She traced a finger over his lips. “You are a good man, Thane— What is your last name?”

“I don’t have one. Up here, we have designations. Xerxes the Cruel and Unusual. Bjorn the Last True Dread.”

“Those are kind of creepy, but, okay. I can roll. Before she cut ties with her clan, my mother was Renlay the Deathtax Collector, and my bedtime stories were of her exploits.”

“Did she tell you why she left the Phoenix?”

“Yes. My dad. Eric Wahlström. He lived in Harrogate at the time, and she was crazy in lust at her first sighting of him. Which must have been strange, because you have never seen a more mismatched pair. She was wild; he was proper. She was loud; he was quiet. But even still, he fell for her, and she had her wicked way with him. Afterward, she thought she’d be able to forget him.”

He could hear the affection in her tone, knew she’d adored the man. “But she didn’t.”

“No. She didn’t. She kept going back to him, and one day she realized she had to make a choice. Him or her clan. Mixed relationships aren’t encouraged but aren’t forbidden, as long as they’re with someone of an equally strong or stronger race. Humans, as I’m sure you know, are a big, fat no-no. It’s okay to take one as a lover, but never a mate. She chose him, and I was born a year later. I spent the first ten years of my life in Harrogate.”

“That explains the accent.”

“I do not have an accent. Once we moved to Arizona, and all the little kids made fun of the bloody Brit,” she said, using the same mocking tone the kids must have used with her, “I feared my mother would slay them all. So, I learned how to blend in.”

He might have slayed them all, too. “It’s slight, but it’s there.” His voice dipped as he added, “It only comes out when you’re aroused.”

She chuckled. “You are racking up all kinds of rewards.” She kissed the pulse at the base of his neck. “So, backtracking. You are Thane the...what?”

“Thane of the Three.”

“Oh. Well, that’s kind of anticlimactic.”

“Disappointed?”

“Kind of. Sorry to tell you this, but I think you need a new one.”

He was her man. He wanted her proud of him. “Most people assume the three refers to Xerxes and Bjorn, but I had the name before I knew the men.” He added, “The three actually refers to the ways I kill. Dead. Deader. And purged from all eternity.”

“I don’t know whether to be scared...or pleased.”

“I vote for pleased.”

“My mother would have voted for pleased, too,” she said.

He grinned almost shyly. “Do you think your mother would have liked me?”

“There are the dimples I adore,” she said, brightening.

She adored them, and so he would make sure she saw them. Often. “Your mother,” he prompted, anxious to know.

“She wouldn’t have liked you.”

He didn’t allow his hurt to show.

“She would have loved you,” Elin added.

Another grin—another flash of the dimples, he was sure. The word loved echoed in his mind. As if he were worthy of such an emotion.

He wasn’t. But I can make myself.

I will.

DARK CURSES CUT through the air.

Thane’s rage-infused voice roused Elin from a deep, peaceful sleep. She blinked open her eyes, and saw that he was thrashing on his side of the bed, the covers kicked off and bunched at his feet.

As he hurtled more curses, he clawed at his chest. His nails scraped away skin, like shovels scraped away dirt. His fingers burrowed in the open grooves. As if...as if...

Her stomach twisted. “Thane.” She gently patted his cheek. “Wake up, baby.”

His arm shot up. His fingers wrapped around her neck and squeezed. Squeezed so tightly she couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t even wheeze.

She latched on to his wrist and tugged—but he was so strong, he didn’t budge. He only squeezed that much harder.

Pain...then light-headedness...

Was this the way she would die?

In a last-ditch effort to free herself, she batted at his face.

Weakness...

Her fingers ended up in his mouth, and for whatever reason, that snapped him to his senses. He blinked, shook his head.

His gaze met hers, and widened with horror.

He released her as if he’d just discovered she was nuclear waste, panting, “Elin, Elin. I’m so sorry.”

She sagged against him.

He held on to her as she sucked in mouthful after mouthful of air. He even tightened his hold, as though she was a life raft amid a fierce storm—as though he feared she would run off at any moment.

Not nuclear waste after all.

His heartbeat thundered against her chest. “I’m so sorry,” he repeated.

“It’s okay, baby,” she said, petting him. “You didn’t do any permanent damage.” A few weeks ago, a choking coupled with the sight of torn flesh would have sent her into a screaming fit. But honestly? She wasn’t the person she used to be. She was the girl her mother had always hoped she’d be.

She didn’t need to use anyone for anything. She was strong, in both mind and body. Proof: she had battled crazed demons. She had gone toe-to-toe with a team of adrenaline-junkie vampyras and purposely stood in the way of raining boulders.

A little suffocation? Whatevs.

A full-body tremor rocked him. “I could have... I shouldn’t have stayed here...should have left you alone. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

Lightbulb. He hadn’t wanted to share a room with her because he suffered frequent, and violent, nightmares. Inside her, a well of tenderness bubbled over. “I’m glad I’m here.” The thought of him dealing with this alone nearly broke her heart.

“Tell me,” she said. “About the dream.”

He stiffened but replied, “Not a dream.”

Then... “A memory?”

He released her and climbed from the bed. Naked, he stalked to the closet and withdrew a robe. No, two robes. After he dressed, he pulled her upright and tugged the other one over her head, tenderly freeing her hair before fitting her arms through the sleeves.

So...conversations about the nightmare/memories were a no-go. Got it. And it kind of hurt, after everything they’d already shared. But at least he’d gifted her with a robe from his personal stash rather than forcing her to wear something from the skank parade.

Meow. Jealous, anyone?

Why was she so upset, anyway? He was only giving her more of what she’d originally asked for. Sex without entanglement.

Yeah, but that wasn’t what he had pushed for or what they had ultimately agreed on. They were part of a full-on commitment now, and he would just have to live with the consequences.

“Thane.” She clasped on to his wrists, maintaining a physical connection with him. “Talk to me.”

He wouldn’t meet her gaze.

“You can trust me. I’ll never share your secrets.”

He lifted her hands to his mouth, kissed the knuckles on both. “We are going to the treasure chest, and you are going to pick the furniture you want for your room. I know you don’t want to stay there, but you’re going to do it anyway.”

Strike one. But okay. She could tackle this from a different angle and launch a sneak attack via the room situation. Without the hurt of rejection, thinking he didn’t want her in his personal space because she meant so little, she was touched that he wanted her so close to him. But three things bothered her. One, the nightmares. He shouldn’t have to suffer alone. And he did suffer. The torment in his eyes... Poor Thane. Two, the terrible memories he’d created in the other room. Although, it might be time to make new memories in there. And three, the condition of his bedroom. He wanted to keep her in luxury and deprive himself. Why?

Complicated immortal. Far more than she’d ever expected. He punished his enemies without mercy—perhaps this was a punishment to himself. But for what?

Whatever the problem, whatever he’d done or not done, she only wanted good things for him from now on.

“All right,” she said. “We can go to the treasure chest, and I will pick out things for the other room.”

Relief bathed his expression. He smiled at her, baring those beautiful dimples.

Now, to go in for the kill. “But,” she added, and he stiffened again. “I get to decorate this room, as well.”

He opened his mouth, probably to protest.

“I have a feeling I’ll be spending a lot of time in here, and I want to be comfortable.” She was already comfortable, but she was beginning to think he would put her needs, and even her wants, above his own.

The thought...charmed her. Humbled her. Terrified her.

How was she supposed to deal with something like that?

After a few minutes of clear internal debate, he nodded. “Very well. Both rooms.”