Burning Time

34

Jimmy leaned against the driver’s door of the white LeBaron. His hair had gotten quite long, and his face was lean and narrow. Even in its best moments, it was not a generous face. Now it had kind of a pinched look about it, as if he had just eaten something sour.

April knew the sour thing he had to swallow was her insistence that he come into Manhattan right away. She called him every place she could think of, and someone must have given him the message.

“What’s so urgent?” he said on the phone when he called her back.

“Hello,” she said.

“What?”

“You skipped our lunch. The least you could do is say ‘Hello, how are you, April,’ ” April said.

She had gone up to the dorm at Columbia to look for letters, and had found Connie Sagan but no letters. Connie was sure there had been no letters. She was sure Ellen hadn’t been seeing anyone since she broke up with her boyfriend, and certainly didn’t go to California with someone. Connie was absolutely sure she would have known that.

“I guess you haven’t found her yet,” Connie said. She was the opposite of Ellen, a fat girl with a lot of pain in her face.

April shook her head. “No, I don’t have any information on that.”

She had gone back to the precinct instead of home to wait for Jimmy’s call. She was in a bad mood and didn’t care who knew it.

“Look, I’m sorry about lunch. Something came up,” Jimmy said. It didn’t sound like he was in a good mood, either.

“You haven’t called me in two weeks.” She was sitting at her desk. Everyone was out. For some reason she felt strong.

“I’ve been on a case. What’s the big deal? Are you my wife or something?”

“You have my car, Jimmy.”

“You gave me your car. You told me to drive carefully.”

“Now I want it back.”

“Huh? I’m on a case right now. You called me for that?”

“You’re off duty right now, Jimmy. Today was your day off. We were going to go to lunch. You stood me up.”

“Look, you asked me. I told you it wasn’t convenient. So just because I couldn’t get there you want the car back. That’s not a nice way to be.”

“Jimmy, I want the car back because I need it to get around.”

“I’m disappointed in you.”

Yes, she’d heard that before. Whenever she opened her mouth to disagree with him, he either called her a crazy woman or said he was disappointed in her. She thought she used to be a crazy woman. Now she was a sane woman.

“You’ve changed since you’ve been Uptown,” he complained, like she was contaminated in some way because of it.

“How soon can you be here? I’m not leaving here without my car. I’ll let everyone know you have it. I want it now.”

He showed up in an hour and had to wait outside the building because there was no way he would go in and look for her. He was leaning against the car scowling when she ambled out of the building and crossed the street.

“I told you I’d be here. Why’d you have to make me wait on the street?” he grumbled.

April held out her hand for the keys.

“I kept you waiting three minutes. You kept me waiting for an hour and a quarter. You knew where I was. You could have called. Now you know what it feels like.”

His face turned red. There were some blue uniforms watching him lose face.

“Uh, get in. I’ll drive you home,” he said.

She shook her head. “I’m not going home.”

“Then I’ll take you where you’re going.”

“I thought you were on a case,” April reminded him.

“I have time to take you where you’re going.” He cocked his head at her, telling her to get in the car.

“Uh-uh. You can’t take me where I’m going, Jimmy.”

“Why not?”

“Because we’re not going to the same place anymore. So we’re not seeing each other again.”

“What, just like that?”

His thin face was very red.

“Not so just like that. It’s been coming on for a long time. You don’t love me, Jimmy, and I don’t love you. I guess that about covers it.”

“How do you know I don’t love you?” he said very quietly, with daggers coming out of his eyes.

She wanted to get away from those angry eyes before he found a way to curse her for all time.

“Because of the way you act,” she replied.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’ve been together almost three years.”

“And that’s about long enough.” Too long.

“Look, I said I was sorry about the lunch.” He was very angry now. His voice was tight. His eyes had all but disappeared into their Mongolian folds.

She looked around for someone she knew. “Give me the keys, Jimmy. I have to go now.”

He saw her nod at a uniform, a big guy, probably Irish. He handed her the keys.

She got in the car and closed the door very gently. “Have a good life,” she said, careful not to curse him.

It was more than he would do for her. He sloped off toward the subway without a word.