Cambridge

II

Pardon the liberty I take in unburdening myself with these hasty lines, but thanks be to God for granting me powers of self-expression in the English language. I humbly beg that those of my dear England, Africans of my own complexion, and Creoles of both aspects, might bear with me as I attempt to release from within my person the nature of my extraordinary circumstances. Soon, I know not when, I am to be dispatched. To where, I know not.

Of my early life in the bosom of my family I confess to having little knowledge. On this subject my memory is no more. In my mind I hold a faded portrait of father and mother and brothers and sisters, but their names and occupations have long-since deserted me. That they loved me is not in doubt. In our unsullied state we are a simple and unwarlike people. It is only the cursed avidity for wealth, and the consequent cruelty, knavery, and practice of diabolical arts by English navigators that has turned the hearts of my simple people from natural goodness, and honest affection, towards acts of abomination. Many natives in my home country are canting, deceitful people about whom one must exercise great caution. The treachery of some of our petty kings, encouraged as they are by so-called Christian customers, leaves one in no doubt that gratitude, that most desecrated of words, has long since fled their crude language. In their dealings my people are great traders and bargainers, having much in common with the Hebrew people in these and other respects. But one should be ever alert and remember from whom my people imbibed the new chicanery. These Christian inheritors of the Hebrew tradition have corrupted the virtues of former times.

No longer was I to tarry in my Africa, where my father and mother loved me with a sincere warmth. A storm broke about our dark heads and I, who can remember only my true Guinea name, Olumide, from amongst the many words of youth, was washed towards the coast and away from my rich and fertile soil by Christian Providence, whose unlikely agents were those who drink deep of strong liquors, which serve only to inflame their national madness, the slave trade. The Lord intended commerce to enable man to develop the friendly bent of his social affections. Finding his brothers in scattered locales it was hoped that man might forge the sweet blessed security of peace and friendship, while diffusing the goods and commodities of his native land. Such enterprise, with Christian religion as its true companion, would be of profound benefit to any shore fortunate enough to be rewarded with the arrival of traders with soldier-like fortitude, and honest values. It sours my blood that in the Guinea of my youth it was not to be the good fortune of my brethren to meet such men, for unfortunately our shores were visited by those whose eyes were blinded, and hearts stupefied, by the prospect of profit. These men violated the principles of sound commercial policy, and imposed upon their own nation a heavy burden, both moral and financial, for the maintenance of their addiction to slavery. Worse still, they involved the good people of their country in the sorrowful guilt of upholding such a system, thus fusing prejudice into their souls and hardening their hearts.

When I imagine myself to have been not yet fifteen years of age, I was apprehended by a band of brigands and bound by means of a chain to hand and foot. I must confess, to the shame of my fellow Guinea-men, that I was undoubtedly betrayed by those of my own hue. But it remains true that without instruction and encouragement my native people might never have hardened their hearts and tainted the generous customs of their simple country. Shackled unceremoniously to a fellow unfortunate at both stern and bow, we unhappy blacks formed a most miserable traffic, stumbling with jangling resignation towards our doom. About my neck I sported a decoration of gold placed there by my mother's own fair hand, and from my ears hung larger and less delicate gold pieces of shape, though mercifully not size, resembling the orange fruit. These paragons of virtue who had possession of my body, if not my soul, soon divested me of these trappings, thus breaking off my tenderly formed links with my parents. In addition to this loss, I was forced to endure pain the like of which I had never suffered.

Come night, our dark and snake-ish company fell into the undergrowth and descended into sleep peopled by demons of the imagination. In the morning I vigorously rubbed these visions from my eyes. Native conversation was forbidden and punishable by the lash. Day and night our ears were forced to admit their English talk which, at this stage, resembled nothing more civilized than the manic chatter of baboons. Sleep often endeavoured to elude my malnourished carcass, and on such occasions I would observe these long-haired spirits crouching feverishly around their bright fire, but I knew not whether they craved heat or if they simply feared animals. Their desire to populate the night with a brackish sacrifice formed a regular part of our uninspiring itinerary. I wondered constantly if these men of no colour, with their loose hair and decayed teeth, were not truly intent upon cooking and eating us, for they seemed overly fond of flesh, carrying about them pounds of salted meat for sustenance. Should they exhaust their supplies and feel desire rise within them for fresh quantities, it seemed to me only natural that they should turn to these helpless specimens in their charge. That Christian instruction forbade such Araby I was not to discover until some years later when I had the good fortune to fall under the spell of Miss Spencer of Blackheath, who, acting according to the renowned charity of her heart, sought to instill in my dull person the rudiments of Sabbath worship and all that proceeds thereof. However, while dressed in the spiritual and physical guise of Mungo, I truly feared the ignominy of being torn limb from limb and devoured as some worthless trifle. Lacking a family or friends with whom I might share the powerful terror of my heart, and being forbidden upon pain of death to forge verbal links with my fellow-sufferers, I would often console myself by pouring out my complaints to the very trees and bushes which masked the paths and trails along which we laboured. To them alone I recounted my sorrows, for I viewed these outer garments of nature as my only companions in life. I lamented what I took to be my own wicked heart which rendered me helpless and in this undone state, and in consequence I suffered great misery knowing not the name of God and being therefore unable to pray for His blessing and bestow thanks upon His holy name. Although ignorance prevented my making direct appeal to the author of all my comforts, He must have been sensible of my plight for Almighty God spared me while others were taken up and ushered into the next world in a multiplicity of agonies compounded by extreme sullenness. This feast of suffering was a result of the actions of these vilest of sinners.

On reaching the coast we of the despised complexion were made to understand something of the magnitude of our fall from grace. The sea saluted our reddened and miserable eyes, and pain assaulted our proud African hearts. We acknowledged by means of mutual looks of fear, the understanding that we had arrived at the edge of the known world. But we were in error. The presence of a large wooden vessel riding at anchor led us to believe that our journey — far from having achieved its natural conclusion — had not even commenced. None among us dared imagine what inhospitable regions lay beyond the waters. Surely the Lord Almighty was with me at this time, and I believe He whispered to me, a poor heathen, words of comfort. So great was His mercy that He took me in hand and enabled me to reign over my quaking terror. We bondaged brethren were herded aboard the vessel with scant consideration for age or infirmity, and treated with less regard than one might bestow upon the basest of animals. We were led to understand by other black fellows, who were evidently in the keep of these white men, that we were not to be devoured. We were informed that soon we would be transported to the white man's country, and once there sold and put to work. These human flesh merchants (for that indeed is what they were) acted towards us with such savagery and brutal cruelty that it remained difficult to believe that they expected profit to be extracted by our eventual sale. We were addressed by one common word, nigger, as though we all shared this harsh name. Clearly it was a term lacking in affection, for when it was applied it was commonly partnered by a snarl and a cuff or lash. I was later to learn the truth of this vulgar and illiberal word; it is truly a term of great abuse.

The uncivilized crew made it known that we were to be lodged below deck. One last brief glimpse of the shore was all that we were able to snatch. We fellow captives fixed our watery eyes upon the land in a state of mortal grief. Whether affection for one's country is real or imagined, it is not an exaggeration to proclaim that at this moment instinct of nature suffused our being with an overwhelming love for our land and family, whom we did not expect to see again. Our history was truly broken. With much rough handling and unnecessary ferocity, we were now ushered down into a place of perpetual night. Once below our bodies received a salutation of supreme loathsomeness in the form of a fetor, which affected a manifold increase in the constant grieving and pining which echoed among we brethren. The heat of the climate, the number of cargo, the necessity for loathsome deeds in this common space, soon rendered this wretched situation impossible. It was to be some days before the vessel set forth. In this time many died where they lay, some on top of others, until the whole scene became one of inconceivable horror. The white men came below with eatables. Those who found the strength to refuse were lashed, often to death. It appeared that bitterness and cruelty were sterner masters than mere avarice. Such malice as these men of very indifferent morals exhibited, I had never witnessed among any people. Their most constant practice was to commit violent depredations on the chastity of female slaves, as though these princesses were the most abandoned women of their species. These white vulgarians disgraced not only their nation, but the very name of man.

There is much more I could tell of our hateful sea-passage, but to do so, even at this distance of years, still introduces trembling into my person. Many a time, when invited to the deck to take fresh air and flex our bodies, did my countrymen and myself wish to offer up our hopeless lives to the ocean and leap towards the depths. Sadly, we were tightly chained and closely guarded by our keepers. Such was the severity of our captivity that we were denied even the power over our most fundamental and inevitable destiny; that of our demise. There is one act that I can pluck from this traveller's nightmare and cherish as evidence of the heart's power over the villainous mind of others; a fellow Guinea-man, when clearly in the throes of expiration, chose to bestow upon myself his pap to help nourish my ailing body. No words passed between us, and indeed the proffered gift proved distasteful, but I was overwhelmed with gratitude for his human gesture. None but those who have been truly desperate in mind and body can judge of my feelings at this time. Soon after my benefactor escaped his captivity and triumphed. He silently paid the debt of nature and began a new journey into a world beyond the wickedness of the ship. The Almighty Lord will have amply rewarded him with the gift of His everlasting love.

We, the pitiable black cargo, arrived in the Carolinas, North America, after a singularly unpleasant passage during which, bereft of the means to deliver supplicating addresses, we were forever punished under the feet of cruel tyrants. What a feast of benevolent hearts we had been marooned with! It was at this moment of landfall that my soul entered its period of darkest night, for my brethren were ushered from my sight and onto shore. Their fear caused an uproar the like of which I never again desire to endure. Our guardians seized a stratagem to appease their grief; that of the whip, plentifully applied. Having witnessed the dispersal of all my companions, I now resigned myself to the fate of being devoured by my captors. I was exceedingly miserable, and, believing myself undone, I desired my life to be extinguished.

My pining was eventually interrupted by one of my own tint, clad in their livery. Using my native tongue he informed me of my new state. I was not to tarry in the Americas (which by false design I had bargained to be the sole abode of white men), for it was intended that I should journey on to England, the original home of the white man, and 'serve massa'. With this information transferred my American countryman took his speedy leave, but my massa neglected to present himself. This not unnaturally caused me great anguish, for I desired to visualize the captain of my fate. Some days later, having jettisoned the human cargo and taken on board fresh provisions, we hauled anchor and set sail for England. I now found myself quartered in new surroundings above the level of the hold. Resembling neither comfort nor hell, but falling somewhere between the two, one might imagine my relief on discovering that I was not expected to undergo a second, and this time solitary, passage below deck. But still I worried. Furnished with only a board upon which to extend my ulcerated limbs, I waited in trepidation for the onset of white hunger, sure that I would be press-ganged into service.

A week of passage eclipsed during which I learned to agree with English meats and drinks, and during which the Christmas day fell, whereupon I was rewarded with a day's allowance of fresh beef. Washed and clothed now in the English manner, I received verification of the truth of my position by a first sighting of my master, who endeavoured to convince me of his peaceful nature by the laying on of hands and other entreaties. Upon his departure a whiskered clerk in excess of fifty years of age, who to judge by his very bookish demeanour was clearly a recipient of much formal education, was appointed to help me smatter a little imperfect English. By degrees I came to understand most communications about me, whether addressed directly or overheard. My clerk, John Williams, a most amicable native of Norfolk, showed me great attention, seemingly without concern for my complexion. He displayed neither shame nor fear at his association with one such as I, and for my part I found it difficult to believe my fortune in finding some person with a mind superior to prejudice. His kind nature helped to dispatch the consternation I suffered because of the ill-bred abuse of the vulgar crew. During the course of this long passage they derived great pleasure by informing me that declining quantities of food meant they would soon have to kill and eat me. Having had the good fortune to fall in with John Williams, my heart quaked only moderately, as he supplied truthful information to drive out their falsehoods.

John Williams instructed me in the gentlemanly art of dressing hair (although with my wool he quickly retired). All the while he made improvement to my English language so that others soon came to comprehend my responses to words addressed. On the dark subject of my name he was unable to assist, and the will of my captain prevailed. No longer Olumide, but Thomas. My captain, a serious man who celebrated the Sabbath by reading prayers to the ship's crew, rewarded me with a flurry of cuffs when I chose to ignore the tide Thomas and wait on Olumide. John Williams beseeched me to submit to Thomas, arguing most persuasively that my condition far out-ranked my betrayed brethren, whose backs were breaking under perpetual toil while I carried only the featherish burden of a new name. He asked me if I had not, only the previous day, witnessed a white man flogged unmercifully with a mass of rope and then tossed over the side of the ship as one might spurn a disobedient dog? I was to understand, by virtue of the reasoning of John Williams, that white men's cruelty to white men was often savage. Little would be spared should my idle cuffing find cause to swell into a more powerful signal of displeasure. So, this is how Olumide became Thomas. Some time later every heart was gladdened when sight of merry England was announced. Every heart but my own, for now I was obliged to give up my John Williams, and he I, and we parted with the shedding of tears on both sides.

London, the most enviable capital in the world, was destined to be my home for the greater part of the next decade. My master made it known that I was to consider myself his domestic, not his slave, and he spoke in a manner which suggested abhorrence of the trade which had occasioned his fortunes to increase. I soon came to understand that English law had recently decreed trading in human flesh illegal, so I learned to perceive of my master as a criminal. However, he was but one of a large multitude of contented plunderers happily accommodated in the bosom of English society. My master lodged me in the servants' quarters of his Pall Mall home where a supplementary attendant, a woman of my own clime and complexion, Mahogany Nell, serviced his needs. To my dismay these included his frequently admitting her to his bed. Although her pigmentation might not be as engaging as that of the fair daughters of Albion, my master clearly derived much comfort through his actions, for they were frequent and, if my ears did not deceive me, brutal in their lengthy pleasure. His sole servant beyond the dark pair (of whom I was one) comprised a sturdy Englishwoman by the name of Anna, who appeared to be deemed unworthy of fleshy exploration. We four, my master included, contrived to create a colourful kingdom of peace in this Pall Mall to which we were bound by fate. We domestic servants waited upon my newly retired master (for I was the final piece in his stratagem of pensioned ease), cleaning, cooking, attending to his toilet, determining that he should want for nothing. He was not of that breed of retired captain who delighted in displaying his good fortune in gaudily laced coats and cocked hats. His only marks of distinction were his black servants, but thankfully we were never pressed to shadow him in the streets. My master grew fond of his black Tom, and I loved him in return. I would observe his manner, and by my actions I hoped to introduce him to the notion that my sole pleasure in life derived from the great privilege of being able to serve him. It was he who, as my dexterity with English words multiplied, informed me that I was at liberty to walk about this great city and gather intelligence which might help me further appreciate my situation. I daily found my predicament becoming more agreeable, and I thanked him most profusely in his own words. Mahogany Nell and Anna near-burst with joy on hearing my first true and unaided speech, which contained many phrases strung confidently together.

Armed with an enhanced mastery of this blessed English language, I went forth into London society and soon discovered myself haunted by black men occupying all ranks of life. To my great surprise I found men of colour and ladies of complexion who walked the higher streets and occupied the gardens of the formal and distinguished squares. These darling blacks were effectively shielded from the insults of the vulgar, but I was soon to discover that the source of their fortunes often lay in the desire of the Englishman and the Englishwoman to take up a black or brown companion as a fashionable appendage. Lower down the ranks were the destitute blacks: harlots, entertainers, assorted vagabonds, a motley congregation of Jumbo's and Toby's, many of whom exhausted what bronze they could beg or pilfer swilling down that most famous national cordial, best gin. The bustling narrow cobbled streets of London were indeed teeming with a variety of unfortunate negroes. Black men too feeble to work were often turned adrift in their decay of health, and the useless women were generally reduced to advertising themselves as capable of 'performing the rites of Venus as they are done in the Carib seas'. These sad females elicited much bawdy laughter from young bloods and civilized men alike, the quality of their usage being the object of much coarse speculation. It was the comical street entertainers who were the real aristocrats of the destitute blacks, and chief among this ungodly scourge was one who sported a wooden leg and a quite ludicrous hat. I suspect this man is more responsible than most for fixing us in the minds of the English people as little more than undignified objects for their mirth and entertainment.

John Williams introduced me to the Christian religion while I dwelt on board the ship. Unfortunately, I was unable to make a coherent sense of either his words or his ideas, being more concerned with avoiding English jaws and my possible fate as meat to match their drink. But after talking awhile with Anna, and marvelling at her pure and godly thoughts, I begged my master for full and proper instruction in Christian knowledge so that I might be received into Church fellowship with both experience of the Bible and a conviction of belief. To this end my master, at his expense and with his blessing, sent me to study under a Miss Spencer of Blackheath, who proved a most patient and virtuous instructress. I earnestly wished to imbibe the spirit and imitate the manners of Christian men, for already Africa spoke only to me of a barbarity I had fortunately fled. To this end, I embraced this magical opportunity of improvement. Reading and writing, common arithmetic, and the first elements of mathematics, I acquired all of these, but none without some difficulty. My progress could best be described as assured, if not altogether swift. Miss Spencer was a woman of truly bountiful patience who, when I stumbled, always sought to remind me that books are 'fair virtue's advocates and friends', and that reading and writing are procured only by unwearied application, for which, according to Miss Spencer, I possessed a good capacity. She advised me that with a Christian education I would find it possible to behave with reverence to my betters, with civility to my equals, and to subdue in others the prejudice that my colour gives rise to. Soon I came to regret any time that passed away without improvement, and I would employ not less than ten hours of the day in reading.

My uncivilized African demeanour began to fall from my person, as I resolved to conduct myself along lines that would be agreeable to my God. Miss Spencer informed me that good persons, into whose company she would introduce me, minded the Bible. She challenged me to name any bad persons of my circle for whom the Bible was a guide. I could not. It remained for her powerfully to encourage me to drive old Africa clear from my new mind for, as she related, black men were descended from Noah's son Cham, who was damned by God for his disobedience and shamelessness in having relations with his chosen wife aboard the Ark. This wicked act produced the devilish dark Chus, the father of the black and cursed Africans. Miss Spencer convinced me that supplication to God's will would allow me to gain access to the heavenly thereafter, and she described to me the work of the recently successful abolitionists, naturally favouring those with a Christian zeal over the, formally humanitarian. Soon after the Lord was pleased to break in upon my soul and cast his bright beams of celestial light into this dark place. Having completed her task, the good angel of Blackheath then set a crown upon my head; banished was black Tom, and newly born she gave to the world, David Henderson.

My master could scarce contain himself in the change occasioned by my residence in Blackheath. He promptly ordered a new livery for myself, and announced a shilling increase in my allowance so that this personal attendant now drew the princely sum of eight shillings a week. Mahogany Nell, who rejected all my efforts to liberate her from her unlettered heathen misery, seemed truly suspicious of my person on account of my new learning and improved bearing. Indeed, a great and lamentable distance grew between us which mercifully tarried on this near-shore of open hostility. Meanwhile Anna, at our master's urging, gave her Christian mind over to perusing several entertaining books calculated for women, in order that she might develop some conversational elegance. Our short courtship produced great happiness on both sides, and I therefore thought it only proper to propose a marriage. Anna, to my barely concealed delight, acquiesced. My master convened an audience with me at which he expounded upon the nature of common opinions pertaining to such a liaison. I confessed that while walking abroad with this female in the Haymarket I had been rudely set upon by a swarm of white gallants with epithets of black devil, while she that was under my protection received considerably worse for being in company with a man of colour. I set before my master the hope that foul discord might never approach his blessed abode, and promised that my wife and I would withdraw should such a misfortune descend. At this he discerned deeply, which was his custom, before pronouncing, 'David Henderson,' for he was fond of my name, 'your wife and yourself must have shelter beneath my roof, but be ever wary of the disagreeable consequences of such an unnatural connection.' He then continued, and recounted how a goodly proportion of my countrymen had scandalized London society by carrying too far the empire of Cupid. He asked if I had not observed how some of the bawds and lower-class women of England seemed remarkably fond of my complexion. I said that I had, but I pressed on and spoke to him of God's love for all, as long as they be Christian and part of His world. The ill-breeding of the populace concerned Anna and myself only in as far as it threatened our bodily safety and that of our master. We had already supped at the cup of bitterness that would evermore be set before us, and its taste, though unpleasant, had not stricken us a mortal blow. My master stood and paced a while. He then pronounced that in addition to his permission we should also have his blessing. My heart was over-powered with joy, and his agreement caused me such sensations as I was able to express' only in my looks.

Sadly we were soon abandoned, for barely a week after this day our master was hastened to a heavenly world by a sudden squally fever which strengthened in force and blew the life out of his body. My wife and I mourned deeply, and with much volume, but our misery could never compare with the amplitude of the grief displayed by faithful Mahogany Nell. It was eventually considered politic to attend upon her to dam her misery, for we worried that she too might take her leave, but her storm of passion having been unleashed she chose to rail against those closest to her and forcefully bade my wife and I to depart from her Pall Mall mansion. It was feared (and then confirmed by an attorney) that she in whom no Christian values might be planted would have the good fortune to enjoy the sole benefits of my late master's will. This being the case, my Anna and I were cast out without an asylum of a friend ready or willing to receive and protect us. Mrs Henderson's family were long since scattered and lost, and mine beyond the seas and inhabiting a warmer, but less civilized clime. My raging mind could think only of Miss Spencer of Blackheath as one who might give us tolerable shelter, for my wife and I had nothing between ourselves and the St Giles Poorhouse for Blacks, save only a few trinkets we might offer up to a pawnbroker in the hope of some trifling sum.

Miss Spencer, may the Almighty bless her kind soul, agreed to provide us with temporary lodgings. When we had explained fully to her the nature of our predicament, Miss Spencer declared that the time had arrived for David Henderson to begin his task in life. 'And what task might this be?' I asked of her. She informed me that I must open the ears and eyes of the ruder of her countrymen to the hope of Christian redemption that is buried at the heart of mission work. I alone among my intemperate heathen brethren, who injure their constitutions by too frequent a repetition of the charms of the bottle, might present a spectacle of salvation and collect money for exploratory travels in the country of my birth. That the negro was no longer goods, in the manner of hides, redwood, or grain, had been well-served out by the abolition (although many, including myself, were aware of the unfinished state of this abolition). Miss Spencer insisted that the commonly held assumption that a black Englishman's life consisted of debauchery, domestic knavery, and misdemeanour, served as a false and dangerous model, while the notion of irreversible savagery in old Guinea presented an equally untruthful picture. It was determined that I should tour England as a servant of the Blackheath mission, and in the company of my wife. Upon our return to the capital we would travel to Africa in the office of missionaries and preach the Gospel in the hope of spiritually reforming my former countrymen and persuading them to embrace the faith of Jesus Christ. My exhilaration, on being presented with this solution to the ills that had plagued my life since the departure of my master, was doubled on learning that my stay in Guinea would be brief. Truly I was now an Englishman, albeit a little smudgy of complexion! Africa spoke to me only of a history I had cast aside.

Across the full breadth of fair England we trod, the spectacle of my Christian wife and I sometimes provoking the vulgar to indulge themselves in a banquet of wicked jest. We who are kidnapped from the coast of Africa, and bartered on the shores of America, occupy a superior and free status in England, although an unsatisfactory reluctance to invoke the just English law permits the outward appearance of slavery to be enacted by some persons. This creates in the minds of many true Englishmen a confusion as to the proper standing of the black people in their presence. My divers addresses were often prefaced with exempla of this taxing discrepancy as I read from contemporary English newspapers on this phenomenon.

To be sold, a handsome creole wench named HARMONY alias AMY. Fourteen years of age, she reads but a little. She has a scar on her breast occasioned by a bum, and a toe cut off each foot. Any person who may have a mind to the said girl, is desired to apply before the 30th.

Such short illustrations seldom failed to produce a gasp of shame from amongst those present, many of whom secretly flourished upon bread whose origins lay in slavery. I would proclaim: "The air of our island is too pure for slavery to breathe in!' Furthermore, I would maintain that the maxim, 'Once free for an hour, free for ever!' should be fervently adhered to. Then I would quote from the holy book. 'Did not He that made them, make us; and did not One fashion us in the womb?' This fraction of scripture was generally followed by a period of contemplative silence into which I would introduce the notion that such a state of affairs as exists in England cannot be tolerated under the government of God. 'Surely,' I would say, 'it is a blasphemy against His benevolence even to suppose it.' I then continued, pointing out that the engrossment of the public mind in that disastrous conflict with France having reached a conclusion, time and energy must immediately be given over to correcting the situation of the poor, oppressed, needy, and much-degraded negroes. Having gained some resigned acceptance of this fact in the form of nodding of heads and whispered 'amens', I would then seek to assure my congregation that the painful circumstances that had forced me from obscurity and set me before them had not planted in my soul a single seed of revenge against those who had so cruelly treated myself and my family. God, I would remind them, is the true avenger of the oppressed, and that deeply injured race of black men of whom I numbered but a solitary one would, if supplicated in true humility, always secure from Him a favourable and candid hearing. Huzza's and tears often followed my delivery, but at this I would raise my hand and remind my congregation that the whole law of God is founded upon love, and the two grand branches of it are: 'Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart; and thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.' I then swiftly drove home the feathered shaft into their wounded English consciences: 'Again,' I would announce, 'from an English newspaper':

Run away from his Master, a Negro Boy of the Mungola country, named Jamaica. Under five feet high, about fifteen years old, very black features. This Sambo was formerly the property of William Jones, deceased. He is very ill-made, being lame in one leg, stooped in appearance, and Falstaffian in girth; he had when he went away a coarse dark blue linen frock, a thick-set waistcoat, tolerably dirty leather breeches, and set about his head an old velvet jockey cap. A suitable reward will be given to any person who will lodge him in any gaol.

To expose the hypocritical iniquities of English custom was not the main thrust of my mission. Its purpose was two-fold, three-fold if one includes the petitioning of the pocket for coppers and shillings, and the thanking of God for feeling and humane hearts and strong natural parts. The first purpose of my mission was to open a school in my native Africa, so that those of complexion might acquaint themselves with knowledge of the Christian religion and the laws of civilization. Those of England, who by means or motives of avarice were dishonouring Christianity, might thereafter witness the unnatural nature of their work being repaired by those of both England and Guinea working together in conjoined brotherhood. It was also intended that those of my native Africa should be given the great advantage of a little learning in reading and writing. Whatever evil intentions and bad motives these insidious robbers might have had, access to the divine goodness displayed in those invaluable books, the Old and New Testaments, ought to be shared with all humanity for the greater glory of our Lord God of Hosts, the God of the Christians!

The second purpose of my mission was to rally support towards the noble purpose of banishing the practice of slavery in the Americas that remain blessed with the good fortune to dwell under the English flag — the jolly Union Jack. I preached that the poorest in England may labour under great hardship, but not one would willingly exchange their status for the life of a West Indian slave. What freeman would resign his liberty for the bondage of the dog or horse? My people are born and sold like animals, tortured and all torn to pieces with moil, hunger, and oppression, and still the haughty English tyrants of the West Indies choose not to hear the loud cries for redress which emanate from the nobler in mind among the English of all classes. I proposed to my audiences widespread days of fasting and mourning for the condition of the West Indian slaves, and days of seeking grace and repentance for the souls of the tropical landlords and owners. I reminded these good people that several ladies in England now refused to drink sugar in their tea because of the cruel injustices done to those employed in the culture of it in the West Indies. I concluded by declaring that sacrifices were demanded of us all, for we were all made in God's image, though some of us be cut in ebony.

The phenomenon of my arrival in distant parts of England, sporting a tinted shade and a fair wife, often occasioned surprise and uproar. My wife and I were accosted in one rooming-house by the master, who had not been present at our arrival. He felt certain that he had seen something black in the form of a man lay hands upon a white woman in the kitchen. Indeed he had, and was much shocked to discover the nature of his error. That I not only resembled a man, but was indeed a part of that host of men created in the name of the Lord, was new education for this fool of weak intellect. His schooling formed part of my mission's purpose. That he was able to observe the fact that I renounced my devilish likeness might possibly have aided other blacks who passed these highways, and prevented their being eventually condemned to London's bird and beast shops where, sad to say, negro children are sold for amusement like parrots or monkeys, although the practice of decorating them with gold or silver collars has mercifully fallen from usage. Many of these Englishmen, seemingly unaware that slavery cannot be tolerated in a Christian land, still sought to intimidate black men into obedience, and treated the passing African stranger with unacceptable brutality. It appeared that these countrymen had little interest in recognizing or relishing the negro on terms of equality. For my own part, I observed a multitude of household servants in this despised condition, yet there were others whose masters had found occasion to treat them with great decency. One young woman was freshly arrived in Gloucester from her master's Antiguan plantation, and while most were at sea with regard to the sense of her manner of speaking, her master would make a shift to understand her tolerably well. At an inn near Chester my wife and I had the privilege of an invitation to the table of an African merchant travelling with a retinue of his own servants. To my great joy, and to the honour of his nation, he had already embraced the Christian faith. I spoke of my mission and he contributed lavishly with coppers and more. We agreed that our paths should once more endeavour to cross. In conversation he was commonly very pleasant to both my wife and myself, directing us with witty turns and fanciful stories, but never to the prejudice of religion or good manners.

The most despised black man into whose territory I had the misfortune to stray was the notorious fop of Bristol, the improperly named Clarence de Quincy. This minion, spoiled by the indulgence of those for whom he presented a spectacle of novelty, and forgetting that he was a chance-child dependent upon the bounty of Christian strangers, assumed airs and spoke loudly of his royal acquaintances amongst the black sons of his native Africa. A boastful man, not given to understatement or modesty of expression, he sought to make a figure that would obscure what he imagined to be the objectionable nature of his complexion, and enable him to occupy the position of general favourite with a reputation for amusing endeavours. His perfumed appearance, made complete only by the ostentatious donning of white gloves, bestowed upon him much renown. This man's vulgar mockery of my Bristol mission made my task, and that of Mrs Henderson, all the more difficult. Proclaiming himself at our first meeting a son of that over-cooked race of Adam, this bantam-cock reduced the smaller part of the audience to peals of irreverent laughter with his Drury Lane antics. I prayed hard to my God to forgive this blasphemer.

Winter closed in and my poor wife began to take with fever. Although I was only recently exposed to snow, my Anna seemed to suffer even greater discomforts, added to which she was now happily quite large with child. We sought refuge in a small village in the County of Warwickshire where I discovered, to my despair, none amongst this circle of villagers who appeared to have wholly kept the ten commandments. We were treated with great disdain, and my efforts to preach my chosen gospel fell on deaf ears. My dear wife's condition deteriorated, and she suffered excessively as the winter began to prove remarkably severe. Through lack of nourishment we were reduced to the greatest misery imaginable. My familiar sermon that the mind needs food, as well as the body, was in this instance reversed. But it appeared that we could obtain neither work nor compassion from these people. Being an entire stranger I was shy of making requests in the form of begging, but upon receiving no response to a hastily despatched letter to my Blackheath benefactress I fell into a melancholy repose, thoroughly helpless as to how to act. Reduced to a pitiable state of darkness, possessing neither fire nor candle, and our diet crusts of stale bread and drawn-water, we languished in this condition until my dear Anna's birth pains achieved a regular beat. It was at this emergency that I strode forth, resolved now to make my situation known and throw myself at the mercy of these godless people.

Knocking at the first door that presented itself, I was greeted, kindly and without surprise, by a stranger who was evidently aware of my residence in his village. This good man and his lady wife, gardener and maid, listened in silence to my dismal tale, then accompanied me with bread and ale to the room in which I had abandoned my Anna. But it was to prove too late, for some two hours later my dear Anna Henderson and her newly born child both expired within a bream of each other. My chivalrous friends were concerned at my state of mind, for I keened with grief and would not suffer to be parted from the cold bodies of my beloved family. Many an hour passed before I could be prevailed upon to stand on my own legs. The following day the minister arrived and informed me that my child could not be admitted to the parish soil because he had not been baptized. Furthermore, although I had often spoken fluently and publicly of God, the minister claimed he had no evidence of my own Christian status. At length I informed him that I would bury my wife and child together on common land before I would suffer them scattered into separate graves. This Christian man seemed truly amazed at the gravity of my resolve. The bishop of the diocese was sent for and a compromise was achieved whereby the child might be buried with the mother, but the minister would hesitate to read the burial service. To this I agreed, and hoped that by my mien they would understand that I was punishing them with love, for destructive hatred had been driven clear from my heart by Almighty God.

On my return to the great metropolis I was obliged once more to throw myself at the mercy of my great and kind benefactress Miss Spencer, who informed me that she had not been the recipient of my desperate communication. She did respond, however, to the horrors of my tale by providing me with shelter, and nursing my malnourished body into some semblance of health. It was decided upon that my mission ought to go forward, and that although I had exhausted the recently obtained funds on caring for my ailing wife in the County of Warwickshire, the Lord God in His wisdom would certainly bestow His generous benevolence upon me. And so it came to pass, for not a week after we pronounced our resolve to continue with the mission, a messenger-boy arrived with notice for David Henderson to proceed to Gray's Inn and attend upon a Mr Morgan. It appeared that my master's will had indeed allowed provision for his David Henderson and wife Anna, and that the sum of four hundred guineas would soon pass into my possession upon my agreeing to affix my signature to a proffered document. I was one who had, if truth be known, never been able to set a proper value on money, wishing only to be supplied with a small amount to offset immediate necessities. I had determined that whatever capital might exist in surplus was to be given up and used for the greater glory of the Lord. Four hundred guineas seemed an impossible sum for one such as I, and together with Miss Spencer it was agreed that I should utilize this fortune by immediately hoisting sail and furthering my mission on the African coast. It was with great sadness that I was obliged to take leave of my kind patroness and board a ship that was hauling anchor for doubtless ungenerous trade. Miss Spencer gave me many friendly cautions as to how I might conduct myself once back in my unChristian native land, and advised me that I should write frequently. This I promised to do, my heart heavy with sorrow, for it was Miss Spencer who had given me true instruction in the principles of religion and the knowledge of God. We exchanged confessionals of how greatly we anticipated meeting with one another at the close of this very solemn mission.

The captain of our vessel, though clearly unfamiliar with Christian ways, did me the honour of inviting me to share his table for the first week of our voyage. I marvelled at my improved conditions, and related to him the tales of my previous journeys. We toasted in wine the honour due to merry England for having abolished the trade, while other, less civilized, nations continued to pursue this vile commerce. I informed the captain that upon arriving in Guinea I intended to introduce the English system of Christian education. It was God's wish that I should return to my old country with the character of a man in upper rank, and a superior English mind, inferior only to the Christian goodness in my heart. My rooming companion, a Frenchman of seemingly noble manner and purpose, proved my only other conversationalist. But to my regret this man, who styled himself an aristocrat, could follow little of my dialogue, and I precious little of his. This proved to be of no true inconvenience to either of us, for we were polite partners.

We were but one day's distance from the coast, when I ventured to retrieve my remaining three hundred and fifty guineas. I was astonished to discover it removed from its hiding place. My first inclination was that the mistake was mine, and so I searched all possible locations. After many hours, and with great regret, I arrived at the conclusion that the wealth of my Gallic companion must have increased during the passage of our voyage. This uncharitable deduction gained credence when I confronted the vagabond. With a flurry of shoulder motions, and gesticulations of the arms, he made it known that I should present my case to the captain. Upon my petition my host and captain ordered his men to throw me into the belly of the vessel and confine me in irons in a condition of captivity all too familiar. The crew brought me water and crusts, but they would not respond to my pleas that the captain be informed that I was willing for he and the French rogue to take my guineas so long as I might have my liberty. My submissions fell on deaf ears, and so my fate appeared to be sealed. I prayed to the Lord that he might spare me, and I made promise that should he do so I would redouble my Christian efforts, for at this moment I very much feared the horrors that lay ahead. My former passage rose in dreadful review and showed only misery, stripes and chains. In one moment of weakness I called upon God's thunderous avenging power to direct the sudden state of death to myself, rather than permit me to become a slave and be passed from the hand of one man to another like a sack of grain. But the Lord, in his mercy, chose to spare me.

We rode at anchor on what I knew to be the coast, for the noises were those of unloading, and the heat and odour that of my native land. In this confined state I made continued and faithful pleas to the Almighty Lord. One whole week transpired before I realized that I would soon be visited by Guinea-men. I heard their voices, shrill in their different native tongues, and men they were upon me and bemoaning the circumstances which had led to their illegal captivity. That I could still make a little sense of my own native language among the many spoken gave me some comfort, but the treachery of these white men, even towards one such as I who esteemed their values, tore at my heart with great passion. That I, a virtual Englishman, was to be treated as base African cargo, caused me such hurtful pain as I was barely able to endure. To lose my dear wife, fair England, and now liberty in such rapid succession! Torrents of tears broke from my eyes, for I knew now that I would have to describe yet another passage of loss. The horrors of this second illegal journey I have chosen to forget, although this unnatural and painful murdering of the memory has caused me distress at least as great as that suffered whilst enduring the voyage. After many weeks of torment, the ship finally came to anchor. Having the advantage of a Christian education, I had no doubt that we were in the region of the Americas. My countrymen, however, were seized with great fear, knowing neither location nor their destiny. We articles of trade, once liberated from the intolerable aroma of the pestilential hold, were directed to remain on deck. From this vantage point we were able to observe the tropical new world that was now, home.

The vulgar crew seemed in a state of great joy, knowing that they would soon be on land. I simply listened and fretted at the blasphemous language displayed by these men. Then I caught the eye of both the captain and the Frenchman, but these buccaneers endeavoured to ignore my glare of Christian devotion tinged with anger. Unlike the parishioners of Warwickshire, whom I felt obliged to punish with love, these two devils I would have gladly tossed into the waters. Perhaps they sensed this, for although I made no further application for what was rightfully mine, my gaze provoked much shuffling of their feet. We drew close to the harbour and took cover amongst ships of different sizes and purpose. Under the blanket of darkness many planters and overseers came aboard and divided our black company into smaller parcels before deciding upon their illegal purchases. I faced these white men, with more knowledge of their country than they could possibly imagine, believing that through hard work and faith in the Lord God Almighty, my bondage would soon cease. The African world of my sad, dark brethren had been truly abandoned across the waters. They knew this now. For them a new American life was about to commence.

I alone of my parcel was purchased by a Mr Wilson, who made it known that my tide was to be Cambridge. He pointed towards me and repeated the word as though addressing an infant. My visage betrayed no trace of anger. I decided that by degrees I would reveal to them my knowledge of their language. Travelling by cart, we passed through the coastal capital of Baytown, and then turned inland. We picked our slow way up a hillside towards the plantation upon which I was to labour as a common slave. I listened as Mr Wilson addressed his black driver. He commented that he believed I possessed more intelligence than the others on offer, which caused me inwardly to smile. However, despite my large frame, he believed my physical strength, while far from disappeared, to be somewhat unsatisfactory when set against the potential lustiness of my fellow cargo. My master declared his purchase to be 'calculated'. We arrived at the plantation and I was rudely introduced to a hut which I was led to believe would be my house. Once inside I discovered a simple bench Uttered with straw, and a stench so insupportable that, although greatly desirous of sleep, such a commodity was impossible. I understood, through my own knowledge of the business, that I would be seasoned alone. Furthermore, I knew that any sign of indiscipline would be severely punished.

I passed my first weeks in solitude. Only fleeting visits from an exceedingly strange, yet spiritually powerful young girl, who daily brought me food and water, disturbed my isolation. When my seasoning was deemed complete, it was this same girl who began to escort me about the plantation and introduce me to my fellow slaves. My rapid acquisition of their language shocked them. I simply explained that I had tarried a while amongst English people, but when pressed I would say no more. I had determined that I would be a strange figure, quiet and reserved, for I intended my residence on this plantation to be brief, and felt that it would be unfair to begin to deliver a sermon I might never have the opportunity to conclude. I hoped that none amongst them would take offence at my reluctance to participate fully in their slave lives. Certainly the girl seemed content, and soon I came to develop a true affection for my odd female companion, and she for me. I told the girl nothing of my Anna, not wishing to divulge, in this place of unhappiness, anything of my previous felicity and taint my Anna's memory by association. Young and aloof, my unlikely escort, I quickly discovered, occupied among her slave-peers a position of respect occasioned by a formidable suspicion of her person.

Her history was a sad one. Born on the plantation, her mother had died shortly after her delivery, and her pagan father naturally spurned her. At ten years of age she was married to a man twenty years her senior. For three years this man treated her brutally while she refused to produce children. Meanwhile, the evidence of his capable manhood could be seen scampering across the slave village and improving his master's fortune by the minute. Her husband was eventually traded to another plantation, presumably to further display his breeding skills, and the girl was once more abandoned with neither protector nor any person who might show her some outward sign of affection. She subsequently developed a sullen nature which caused her fellow slaves to fear her, for their understanding was that the cruelties inflicted upon her during her violent marriage had merely compounded the strangeness that the unloved misery of her early years had forged in her soul.

Now I was manifestly a West Indian slave, but I refused to accept the woeful conclusion that there was little hope of manumission through either the generosity of Mr Wilson, or the evidence of my good deeds. The execrable years bred quickly but never, not for one moment, did I lose faith in the redeeming powers of the Good Lord. My hair took on a grey aspect, and my strength began to fade, yet all the while I remained true to my Lord and hoped one day to be afforded the privilege of preaching again in dear England on the subject of my travels and experiences as a son of God. Sadly, as she budded into womanhood, my strange escort became even more unpopular amongst her fellow-slaves. Her curious mind remained closed, and she seemed incapable of conversing with anybody beyond myself. I talked with her of our Lord, and attempted to explain that Jesus Christ had lain down his life for such as us, but her undeniably spiritual nature was absorbed in an entirely different direction.

The other slaves claimed her to be a possessor of the skills of obeah, but I refused to be drawn into their discussions. I recognized in her a growing aberrance and mind-wandering detachment, yet the loneliness that this ailment necessarily bestows upon its victims may have contributed to the powerfully sympathetic affection that I continued to feel towards her. Perhaps we were a case of curiosity attracting curiosity, for the respect which I commanded on account of my Christian learning and knowledge of the world was matched only by the caution with which every person viewed my woman friend. After a slow and wilfully paced courtship that lasted many West Indian seasons, I, Cambridge the field-hand, requested that the woman occupy my hut as my wife. Without uttering a word she willingly agreed, for she was now entering a period of her malady when she insisted that she distrusted words. And so we began to share our lives in my hut, and I watched and cherished her, all the while praying that the infusion of Christian values into her soul might help to obscure the miserable details of her life, which others claimed had resulted in her being blessed with this excess of pagan vision.

Years of drudgery lumbered by, and I wondered if I should ever be set free from this unChristian labour. Indeed, I worried that perhaps my God was punishing me for my sinful existence, even though He must have known that should I have requested a Christian wedding ceremony it would have certainly been denied. I had raised the question of my fellow slaves' continued adherence to crude African religions with our local man of the cloth, Mr Rogers. The minister, whilst openly acknowledging the correctness of my concerns, sought even as he spoke to a black Christian to introduce me to the notion that converted negroes soon became perverse and intractable. He further maintained that conversion was an inadequate tool with which to combat the perpetual absence of the Christian virtues of family life, morality and social discipline that he frequently found in 'the black stock'. Not unnaturally, I felt inclined to ask after him what he therefore imagined his role to be while he existed in this West Indian region, but I desisted, feeling pity and revulsion for this man who would attempt to build a false notion that all of a black skin are tainted with Cain's crime, or that of Noah's son, Ham. This weak man, who without doing a stroke of God's work simply coughed and perspired abnormally in the tropical heat, confirmed my long-held suspicion that many covetous and profligate individuals are often admitted to the clergy. The blocking up of all the inlets to the spiritual regeneration of the negro seemed his sole and devilish task. That such a man might condescend to marry a pair of negroes after the Christian manner was optimism beyond all reason.

One night, on hearing some distant commotion, my wife awoke with a start. It was not until the clear light of day that I discovered that the veteran Mr Wilson had been driven off our estate by his overseer, Mr Brown. Mr Wilson had proved himself a tolerably decent man and I, in common with many others, was sorry to see his demise. Doubly so in that he was replaced by Mr Brown, a bullying brute of an overseer who seemed trapped within the imagined swaggering authority of his own skin. His first act was to attempt to reorganize the status among the slaves to suit his own purpose. To this end it was suggested that I accept the title of Head Driver. Not wishing to be master to any, I declined, and so began the period of conflict between myself and this Mr Brown. He could not accept my disobedience. Although no words passed through his lips, it was clear that he had determined to reduce the haughty Cambridge, who by now had long revealed to all a firmer grasp of the English language than any, including Mr Brown, might ever conceive of achieving. I had also, much to this Mr Brown's chagrin, gained the true respect of my fellow-toilers, who affectionately styled me the black Christian.

Life continued without reference to the calendar, until one evening Mr Brown appeared at my hut after dark. His breath was contaminated with liquor and his person evidently consumed with passion. That my poor wife was the object of his frothful desire I had no doubt, but I decided that he should not satisfy himself upon her like an animal. As though reading my mind, Mr Brown drew his pistol and ordered me to leave my own hut. The pitiful pleading of my unsound wife, who saw that Mr Brown was truly determined to kill me if necessary, encouraged me to leave. Her distress attracted the attention of my fellow-slaves, who stood in the darkness as though this humiliation was something that we ought to endure as a company. Their hidden purpose was clear, for they wished to ensure that I should not decide upon any action, self-destructive or otherwise.

It appeared that my wife, in one of her not uncommon flights of fantasy, had recently taken to conducting herself as though the mistress of the Great House. The fearful house-servants were unable to sway her from her queer purpose, and there abounded in the Great House a state of anarchy. However, although my wife's pantomime had been in operation for some weeks, the principal cause of this destructive disorder was not her unseemly behaviour, but Mr Brown's inexplicable toleration of this charade. His patience extended as far as allowing her to share his table. Perhaps he looked upon my comely wife as a visual entertainment, in the same manner that some Englishmen keep about them dwarfs or pet monkeys? Or was he lonely? Or was he simply humouring her in anticipation of this moment when he might punish both my wife and myself with one act of brutal desire? I prayed to the good Lord to release my poor simple wife, who, although not my wedded wife in his eyes, meant as much to me as any who might occupy that station. And men my God answered me as a sated Mr Brown reappeared, seemingly unconcerned by the suffering he had inflicted, and oblivious of the gathering of slaves, all of whom viewed this man as a disgrace to his own people and their civilization. The next day Mr Brown found weak pretext to inflict upon me a severe beating in the presence of an English female. Whether this was some customary ritual to ensure easier access next time he should choose to visit my wife, or due punishment for the defiance I had chosen not to hide, I could not tell. But upon my back, in a series of random patterns, were markings that cut deep into my flesh. After Mr Brown's violation the bond between my wife and I, although still intact, began to be tried beyond its strength. The woman steadfastly refused to adopt the Christian religion, which continued to cause some unpleasant friction between us, but to my horror she now reverted to dirt-eating and other abominations. I traced this filthy behaviour to a sickness brought on by Mr Brown's hunger, although this by no means justified such paganism. For his part, Mr Brown continued to trifle with her reason by tolerating her fanciful delusions as she continued to sport herself as the mistress. It was, however, the arrival of the English female that seemed to pitch my wife into her final and irrevocable madness. This Englishwoman, the daughter of our true owner, appeared amongst us, and after an extended convalescence she entered fully into our miserable society. On the rare evenings when my wife paid me the compliment of returning to my hut, she began now openly to mock at my Christian beliefs and to scream out for her long-lost mother. This caused my heart to swell with bow sorrow and anger, for, as is well known, a Christian man possesses his wife, and the dutiful wife must obey her Christian husband. Accordingly, at the conclusion of the week's labour, I decided to seek an audience with Mr Brown at which I intended to instruct him to cease indulging my wife's behaviour, and to offer him the opportunity of cleansing his heathen conscience and confessing his role in her recent sad demise.

On a bright Sunday afternoon, when the white people had returned from church, I presented myself beneath the piazza where Mr Brown was taking tea with the Englishwoman, in whom he appeared to have developed an intimate interest. Clearly he knew the subject and object of my visit, but giving me no time to state my purpose he barked rudely that I had no place petitioning him — this ungodly man! — on the Sabbath, and he declared that I should remove myself immediately. I hesitated, and then began to speak, whereupon Mr Brown climbed to his feet and, turning a murderous vermilion, bellowed that I should immediately absent myself. On receiving this instruction I turned and left. I returned to the negro village and sought out my wife, who was occupying herself by singing meaningless ditties. I knew now that her mind would stray more frequently into zones of illogicality, for not only would Mr Brown continue to torment her, but her abuses were now compounded by feelings of jealousy. I knew also that come the morning I might reasonably expect to be flogged for my impertinence.

To my surprise Mr Brown, while eyeing me unmercifully, chose not to lash me. This was fortuitous for us both, for I had resolved to no longer endure his abuse if applied in the only manner he seemed to understand, in other words, unjustly. I had decided that I would resist, without turning my mind to a heroic mission, for my knowledge of the Bible instructed me that it is man's duty, with God's blessing, to outwit tyranny in whatever form it appears. My battle with this Mr Brown was now couched in terms of a holy crusade which, with the Lord's help, I was determined to wage with all the energy and skill known to me. The Englishwoman did not concern me. She seemed decent, if a trifle over-dressed for the heat, and she adopted a not altogether unsurprising posture of social superiority driven home by the alabaster in her complexion. Seldom without handkerchief to ward off the fetid air, she graced us with a detachment that bordered on thinly disguised disgust. That I might have conversed with her at ease, perhaps even discussed acquaintances in common, undoubtedly never occurred to her. However, Mr Brown's obsession with this woman, and his lack of attention to my wife, caused my wife further to enter that region of the mind whence all attempts to retrieve her are rendered futile.

Mr Brown frequently made it his business to travel to distant plantations and remain there, sometimes for many days. It was while he was engaged upon one of these journeys that I was called by Stella, the attendant to the white lady, to hurry to the Great House. It appeared that my wife had finally done mischief enough to render her presence offensive to all, black and white. Howling in her bizarre manner, scratching at the dirt, and picking lice from her skin, my wife's mind was no longer her own. Labouring under the full weight of public humiliation, and feeling dreadfully spurned, she now considered herself little more than a common animal, and she was acting accordingly. I mounted a guard at the door of the woman, Emily. She was white with fear that my wife might enter and cause her harm. I assured the fair one that she had nothing to fear, and enquired if she were a Christian believer, to which she answered that she was. I asked from which part of fair Albion she originated, and if her father approved of the institution of slavery, to which she replied that she imagined he did, but her attitudes were her own and somewhat different. She declined to share them with me, but seemed truly fascinated by my knowledge and fluency in her language, the origins of which I, in turn, declined to share with her. Then our conversation was terminated by the arrival of the doctor, who delivered me a gaze of such contempt that I was obliged to turn from him lest I provoke his humour to an undignified pitch. Stella brought me refreshment, and suggested that I might order my wife to cease her noise. This I did, my voice charged with anger. I then departed for my hut.

Clearly my wife was beyond my full jurisdiction. After a great number of sleepless nights, in which I asked God not to abandon me in my distress, nor cast me from His mercy for ever, my weak constitution could no longer withstand my shameful torment. The Lord had hitherto shadowed me with the wings of His mercy, and I had great hope that He might appear again for my deliverance. To this end I arose and set out to walk the full distance to Baytown, all the while reflecting upon my eternal state, and determined, before it was too late, to refresh my bond with the Lord with powerful purpose of heart. It was while praying in the Ebeneezer Chapel that I finally, with the aid of my merciful redeemer, devised a Christian plan. It was evident that Mr Brown was both the object of my anger, and the cause of my wife's present misery. I would visit him, irrespective of his wrath, and talk to him as one man to another. Upon representing myself I would no longer be swayed from my purposes by either his clamouring voice or his raised fists. That he must cease his tormenting of my wife would be the main thrust of my message. I knew full well that a Christian man must fear nothing but the Lord Himself. As I tarried on my knees I felt sure of my purpose. I was determined to carry out my scheme, and then make every exertion to obtain my freedom and return to dear England. In this frame of mind I left the Chapel and began the long walk back to the Great House.

Once there I presented myself in the kitchen, where I informed Stella that I was hungry. She chose to supply me with beef and bread. She was visibly distressed by my troubled countenance, but I imagined her to be somewhat reassured by the signs of my continued moral strength. As I left the Great House a young white overseer challenged me to explain why I was not present in the fields. I informed him of my need for spiritual counsel at this cross-roads of my life, and he scoffed. I then marched purposefully to my hut to study my Bible. I soon discovered that, as ever, my wayward wife was not present. However, I turned my mind towards the Lord and prayed for her pagan soul. Later this same day, my body and spirit being refreshed, and my hunger satisfied, I was preparing to take an evening promenade when Mr Brown entered my hut and accosted me. He knocked the holy book from my hand and proceeded to beat me most savagely. He then demanded that I parade myself before him on this same evening, and until then to refrain from contaminating his other slaves with my insolent presence.

I remained in my hut. In the evening I attended upon the hearing where, among other crimes, I was accused of stealing food! Judgement upon my case was postponed, and I was confined to the slave village. For many weeks I supplicated myself in isolated meditation. My loneliness and humiliation without my wife (who had resorted to the new ploy of running clear away), the injustice of my treatment, and the Christian import of the season, all served to strengthen my resolve once again to challenge this Mr Brown. I made my way to the Great House and enquired after Stella for his whereabouts. A tearful Stella (for it appeared that Mr Brown had taken no interest in her beloved Miss Emily once the details of the latter's condition had been discovered by the physician) informed me that on this festive day the unloved Mr Brown would soon be returning from church.

I went out on the road, and as I saw his bay mare approach I called to Mr Brown and made note of the anger in his eyes. He dismounted and walked towards me with whip raised, but I had steeled myself to endure no further abuse. In a simple and Christian manner I was merely requesting that he behave towards myself and my wife with a decency that one would have afforded a dog. He struck me once with his crop, and I took it from him, and in the resultant struggle the life left his body. I then fell to my knees and prayed to my God to forgive me for my wretched condition. I, Olumide, who had become black Tom, then David Henderson, and now Cambridge, had broken one of God's commandments. On this Christian day, and for the first time since my second unChristian passage, I was truly afraid, truly frightened of my actions and the fearful consequences of my heathen behaviour.

I say again: Pardon the liberty I take in unburdening myself with these hasty lines, but the truth as it is understood by David Henderson (known as Cambridge) is all that I have sought to convey. Praise be the Lord! He who 'hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth'.