Carnal Sin

ONE

Present Day

Moira O’Donnell woke up with blood on her hands.

Her heart raced as she sat upright in the strange bed, staring at the dark-red blood drip, drip, dripping onto the white sheets, disappearing as each thick drop spread. She swallowed the scream that fought to escape.

She blinked and the blood was gone. The panicked rage faded. She almost-almost, but not quite-forgot the feeling of her hand clenching the heavy, balanced dagger. Almost forgot the sickening sound of the blade slicing through tendons, hitting bone, cutting out an invisible soul and throwing it to demons that tore it to shreds, feeding.

It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real.

She repeated the mantra, reminding herself that it was only a nightmare, that she’d certainly never killed a person.

The fear from the dream stayed; it always did. Moira lived with fear day in and day out, sometimes buried so deep she almost could believe it was gone. When she lied to herself.

As the nightmare faded, her vision blurred. The dim early morning light coming from the edges of the closed blinds looked cloudy and surreal, like her nightmare. She felt a vision coming on … but that wasn’t possible. She’d never been fully awake for a vision before; they’d always hit her in the moment of unease immediately following a nightmare, before she could claw her way back to consciousness.

She was awake-knew she was awake-but everything around her was foggy, while her mind started a movie she didn’t want to see. Moira’s gut reaction was to stop the onslaught of images, but she couldn’t even if she’d tried. In a rush, her mind flooded with thoughts not her own, sights she’d never witnessed, feelings she’d never had. No vision had ever been anything like this. Not this physical sense of evil seeping into every pore, filling her until she wanted to scream.

She flew across the continent and back, tired. Bored. Frustrated. There were many places she could stay, but none of them appealed to her. It was all too easy. The desires of the body were weak, and she was anything but weak. She wanted freedom, but wasn’t free. She wanted vengeance, and she could have it-have everything-when she was free.

Freedom! Her time was now. She grew stronger with each passing day.

Yet, her spirit was caught by something stronger than she. She resisted, angry. But she was tied to the earth, and the harder she fought, the weaker she became. Spinning, spinning, spinning out of control, shrinking …

A weak, dark-haired woman sat in the circle, waiting for her. She fought the entrapment, but she’d been in the astral plane, and her anchor had called her back.

Someone trapped her! She stretched and fought and vowed revenge on her captor. The mind that shared this body was foolish. She suppressed it. Brutally, without remorse.

Moira screamed as pain filled her head. For a split second, she thought she was possessed. She tasted the hot sulphur on her tongue, felt an evil presence under her skin; then it was gone. The vision, the pain, everything. Everything but the fear.

Her body shook violently. From the corner of her eye she saw movement-something was in her room. She jumped out of bed, knife in hand without even thinking about reaching under her pillow for her weapon. She held it in front of her to ward off dark magic or a demon, making quick, confident strides toward the enemy.

“Moira!”

Rafe. She swallowed, blinked, tried to regain her focus as she wobbled on her feet. He grabbed her wrist and her vision cleared. She had been inches from him. What if she’d hurt him? What if she’d been trapped in a vision and killed him?

“You were looking right at me, but you didn’t see me,” he said quietly.

She shook her head to clear her foggy mind and sat back heavily on the edge of her bed.

She had to get her mind wrapped around what had just happened. The nightmare, waking up, the vision-being only inches from Rafe before she recognized him.

Maybe she had been asleep. That made her more dangerous to those she cared about.

She’d been in Santa Louisa for nearly a month, but the last two weeks she’d been doing nothing. Anthony Zaccardi, Santa Louisa’s own resident demonologist, had his books and research, trying to track down the Seven Deadly Sins. Rafe had his physical therapy and retraining. And what did she have? Exercise until her body ached. Nightmares that reminded her of her deadly flaws. Visions almost daily for the past two weeks that left her drained and on edge. And still no trace of her mother, Fiona O’Donnell, or Fiona’s lover, Matthew Walker. In the last seven years she’d never stayed in any one place this long, except when training to become a demon hunter at Olivet. At least there she’d worked her ass off, too exhausted to go stir-crazy.

“I’m okay,” she said, but not fast enough.

Rafe didn’t believe her, but he didn’t need words to ask. He never did. His dark, bottomless blue eyes questioned her, compelling the truth from her lips.

“I had another vision,” she admitted.

That she could say it out loud showed she’d accepted the fact she was a freak. She’d always known it, but now? Well, it sounded even crazier. But Rafe didn’t think so, which was both comforting and scary as hell. They were so much alike … yet so different. She was scared to death of what might happen if she dropped her shields. There was no future for her; she couldn’t lose her focus.

“I think …” How could she explain? “One of them-one of the demons-found a host.” That wasn’t quite right, but she didn’t understand everything she’d felt and heard and thought. “Or something like that.” It sounded lame. It was lame.

“Anthony doesn’t believe they’re seeking to possess anyone.”

“Anthony doesn’t know everything,” she snapped.

Rafe walked over to the dresser and leaned against it, crossing his arms over his chest. Already, two weeks after he miraculously awakened from his coma-if that’s what it was that had kept him unconscious for ten weeks-he’d regained his color and much of his strength. They were staying at Anthony and Skye’s place-hardly big enough for the four of them-with Rafe sleeping on the couch. She needed to get out of this place. Not just because she itched to find her mother again, but because the close proximity to Rafe was too distracting. Not to mention Anthony’s need to control both of them day and night, and Skye’s constant questions. Moira liked the cop, but there were some things better left outside of the law. If Sheriff Skye McPherson knew even half the laws Moira had broken …

Rafe still didn’t say anything. Damn, how annoying was that? He just pinned her with his sharp eyes, his unshaven square jaw locked, waiting for her to tell him the truth.

“I know it’s not possible,” she began-hoping it wasn’t possible-“I just-it felt-” She hesitated, then said what she truly feared. “It felt like I was looking through the demon’s eyes. I tasted Hell on my tongue, my blood burned. But-I think-” She bit her lip.

“What?”

“She was pure evil, Rafe. Powerful. And really pissed off. She felt trapped, and somehow she blamed me.” She gave him a half smile. “Stupid, I know.”

Rafe didn’t smile, nor did he say anything-why was he always so damn quiet? Why couldn’t he get angry like Anthony or frustrated like Skye? Instead, he was calm.

“I won’t let anyone hurt you, demon or human.”

He barely whispered, but she heard every word as if his voice etched them directly onto her bones. Every hair on her skin rose. He appeared unflappable, but his stoicism was a ruse-he was a tightly controlled bundle of energy, his restlessness tangible but unseen. His words had movement and weight. He never had to raise his voice to be heard, and everyone listened.

She wanted to believe him. He meant what he said, but he wasn’t strong enough to protect her-or anyone-from the Seven. Neither was she; none of them were. They’d nearly died battling the demon Envy, and they had even lost one of their own. A loss she feared would be repeated until there was no one left standing.

Despair had moved in with her fear, but she fought it, questioning whether they were her own feelings or left from residual contact with the Seven. Was their power still present even though they had long left Santa Louisa?

All but the demon Envy, trapped in a tabernacle at St. Francis de Sales in downtown Santa Louisa, in a vault that Moira had commented was the supernatural equivalent of Fort Knox. Anthony hadn’t been amused. He never was.

But Rafe had smiled at her joke behind Anthony’s back, and winked at her, another reason why she was drawn to him. He liked her quick wit, and he made her smile.

“For nearly two weeks, I’ve been doing nothing but waiting for something we can’t even identify,” she said. “How can we stop the Seven Deadly Sins if we don’t know where they are? Do we have to wait until someone drops dead? Do we have to wait until we hear on the news that Greed is working its evil magic on Wall Street or people are dying because they’re too slothful to eat? And dammit, where did Fiona go? I can’t feel her magic anymore. They’re just gone, and I’m waiting for them to come after me! And what if-”

She stopped. When had she become a sniveling brat? She had to put the fear aside or it would bite her in the ass. Yeah, she was worried-so was everyone else. She had to stop feeling sorry for herself, accept her fate, and move forward. Maybe if she repeated the mantra enough she could make it happen.

“Moira, what is it?” Rafe asked, his concern apparent.

She gave voice to her hidden fear. Maybe by speaking it aloud she could stop it from seeming so real. “What if the Seven have infected me?”

He looked at her tenderly and shook his head. “They haven’t. You would know.”

“But I don’t know.”

He smiled. “This is a silly conversation, Moira.”

She shook her head, biting back a smile.

“I saw that,” he said, and sat next to her. He took her hand and kissed it. “Come on, smile.”

Moira started to smile, mostly because Rafe could be so endearing even when he annoyed her, but he kissed her hand again, holding her palm to his lips a moment too long. He stared at the scar from the demon attack two weeks ago, the scar he’d given her to save them all, and his face darkened. He squeezed her fingers tight, almost too tight, and pulled her to his chest.

She had no time to protest as Rafe’s lips covered hers, as one hand held hers between them and the other pressed against her back, holding her still. She tried to turn away, but his mouth followed, sliding down her cheek, to her neck, to the oh-so-sensitive spot behind her ear. A startled gasp escaped her throat and it sounded like she was enjoying this, like she wanted Rafe.

And she did. She’d been keeping her distance because every time she got too close, every time he touched her-innocently or not-she remembered that kiss. That damn, incredible, heated kiss two weeks ago that affected her so deeply that she still warmed at the memory.

It wasn’t a memory anymore. It was happening again, only this time Rafe wasn’t injured, and this time they weren’t about to go to battle against a demon. She could make no excuses about the risk of the moment, the fears of life or death fueling their sex drive, because right now they sat in her bedroom-on her bed-and Rafe was not slowing down.

“Rafe-” Her voice cracked when his hand moved up under her shirt and touched her breast. Her body betrayed her, her hand shot out and wrapped around Rafe’s neck, pulling his mouth back to hers. Waves of conflicting emotions, of lust and fear, of desire and doubt, battled. They shouldn’t be doing this. Moira couldn’t do this. There was too much at stake.

She refused to open her heart because Rafe could die. Worse, he could die because of her.

She’d already lost the first man she ever loved. She couldn’t love again. And with Rafe, sex wouldn’t be a hot and heavy one-night stand.

“Rafe-” Resolved, she put her hands between them and pushed. Hard. He got the point and let her go, a frown hardening his handsome face.

“I, um-” she stuttered, her face flushed. “You want to go to the gym?” That was lame. She swallowed nervously, took a deep breath, and regained her composure. “Well?”

“Every time I get close to you, you take me to the gym. Or for a run. Anything to avoid talking about what you feel when I touch you. What I feel when I think of you. Why I can’t get you out of my mind. You look at me when you think I’m sleeping. I know you’re worried. About what?”

“This isn’t the time-”

“It’s never the time for you,” Rafe said, frustrated.

Movement in the hall startled her, Moira jumped when Anthony appeared in the bedroom doorway. What if he’d walked by two minutes ago? He did not like Moira and Rafe spending time together. Did he suspect they had this attraction? He looked as if he hadn’t slept the night before, with bags under his bloodshot eyes. Anthony had been clocking a lot of hours at the mission reading old books, many handwritten and in ancient languages.

“Rico’s plane just landed,” he said. “He’ll be here in twenty minutes.” He glanced at Rafe. “I need to talk to you.”

She raised an eyebrow at Anthony. “Secrets already?”

He didn’t answer her.

She pushed by him. “Whatever. I’m going for a run.”

“Be back in twenty minutes,” he repeated.

Moira paused, staring at Anthony. She wanted to say so much to him-that she was sorry about everything that had happened seven years ago, that she missed Father Philip as much as he did, that she wished he’d trust her, that she needed his experience if they were going to stop the Seven Deadly Sins.

But he wouldn’t even look at her, the distrust and dislike rolling off him. He hated her. He’d never admit it; it would be so un-Christian for him to hate anyone. She didn’t know why his disdain hurt so damn much.

Moira left the house and set off on her jog at a brisk, steady pace, pushing aside Anthony’s animosity, her growing and unwanted feelings for Rafe, and her confusion over her most recent vision. She focused on running, breathing, one foot ahead of the other. As she ran, her head began to clear.

She loved to run through the early morning fog, the cold, damp sea air burning and cleansing her lungs as if she were running through purgatory, pain and pleasure. She’d been staying at Skye and Anthony’s for two weeks now and knew the cliffs along the shore almost as well as she knew the paths at Olivet, where she’d lived for more than a year.

But even now, she couldn’t think of herself as a demon hunter, because the only reason she’d been trained to banish demons from Earth was to clear the field to pursue her mother, the evil witch who used demons and magic to protect herself from St. Michael’s Order. Moira, in turn, had to be able to protect herself from whatever her mother-or her half sister-tossed her way so she could live to battle them again.

As she ran she realized she was heading north, toward the ruins two miles away where it had all started. Two weeks ago Fiona had cracked open the gates of Hell long enough to release the Seven Deadly Sins, incarnate demons who should never have been allowed to escape the bowels of the underworld.

Moira had been to the ruins only once after she’d found Rafe hiding in a nearby cabin, though she knew Anthony often ventured out here alone. But he didn’t see what she saw; he didn’t feel the evil slithering over every cell in his body like she did when she neared the ruins.

She felt as if she were drowning in evil, sinking lower and lower until demons could grab her soul and torture her until the end of time. It was enough to drive most people crazy. Maybe only the truly deranged would endlessly fight demons in a losing battle. Normal people-sane people-certainly didn’t seek out incarnate evil.

As Moira neared the ruins, she saw evergreen bushes that had turned black, and the cypress trees that dotted the central coast going from canopies of dark winter green to shriveled, leafless, gnarled wood. There were no birds chirping, no animals scurrying under the dead bushes. Three dead seagulls lay rotting near the edge of where the coven’s circle had been cast. Had they flown too close to the evil that still radiated from the ground? Were they thrown off course, or dragged down against their will?

Moira realized one thing about her visions: they almost always led her back here, to the ruins. She’d been fighting them for two weeks, but this morning’s vision had brought her here. There was something she could learn from the scorched earth.

While the residual dark magic had all but disappeared, due largely to Anthony’s daily prayers over this spot, evil remained. Here, the gateway to Hell could be opened without much effort. And not just here-there was a new gateway at the former Good Shepherd Church, courtesy of Matthew Walker. Santa Louisa was becoming a beacon for evil. Moira wouldn’t be surprised if some trickster demon changed the welcome sign on the highway:

WELCOME TO SATAN’S LOUISA

HOME OF THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS

All remnants of the coven’s circle were gone. No more hexagram, no more spells, no more candles or herbs. But Moira knew where the center had been and avoided it, as if she could be dragged down into the pit right then and there.

Here, the Seven Deadly Sins had been released from Hell and if not for Rafe, they would have been trapped in the arca, a flesh-and-blood person who Fiona was happy to sacrifice to the underworld for her own selfish plans for immortality. As long as Fiona O’Donnell lived forever, everyone else could die.

“I’ll find you, Fiona,” Moira whispered into the still fog. “I’ll find you and kill you.”

She breathed deeply, focusing all her senses the way Rico had taught her. Looking within and around, not calling on supernatural forces for answers, because the price was always higher than any human should have to pay; instead, she relaxed, Psalm 23 running quietly, automatically, through her mind. Natural forces surrounded her, trying to provide answers when Moira didn’t even know the right question to ask.

As I walk through the dark valley …

Of course she had plenty of questions. Where is Fiona? Where is her coven? Why can’t I find her?

Moira walked around the edge of where the circle had been, focusing all internal thought, her whole senses, into her vision from this morning. Her visions always related to Fiona. At least, until two weeks ago, they’d always led her to where Fiona had been.

Her mother must have been involved in whatever demonic ritual resulted in that dark-haired woman being possessed in her vision. While Moira’s visions scared her, they were invariably grounded in what was happening on Earth and she could use them to seek answers. The vision this morning felt more intense, as if she were a participant and not just an observer.

Could it be her visions were less about Fiona and more about the demons that Fiona brought forth? This morning she’d been looking through the eyes of the demon. She’d been terrified and tried to avoid seeing anything, but it was there in the back of her mind.

Do not be afraid.

She heard Father Philip’s quiet, deep voice as if the priest were standing beside her. She blinked back sudden tears. Father wouldn’t want her wallowing in self-pity and fear; he’d expect her to suck it up and do what needed to be done. Right now that meant analyzing her vision, focusing on what she’d seen but failed to process because of her fear.

She’d seen what the demon saw. The dark-haired woman. Where was she? In a business. There were other people around. No one Moira could see clearly, but she felt the voices-music-vibrating in the background. Voices … people … dancing … drinking. A club. A place where people went to see and be seen, to find a one-night stand when they lied to themselves that they were looking for true love.

Moira never lied to herself. She’d found her one true love and now he was dead. One-night stands had been all that had kept her physically connected to the rest of humanity, fortunate souls who didn’t live their lives wrapped in guilt and the terrifying knowledge of things Moira wished she’d never known. That monsters-demons-were real; that ghosts were lost souls and some were out for revenge; that magic came from Hell and no matter what your intentions, you had to pay the piper in blood. The piper’s name was Satan.

The hair on the back of her neck rose and her skin tingled. She might have believed it was a chill from standing still too long after running, but she knew better.

Someone was watching her. Approaching her. Getting closer.

She opened her eyes, pulled her knife from her pocket, and whirled around.

Rico Cortese grabbed her wrist as she was about to cut him. “I thought you’d forgotten everything I taught you.”

“I would have pulled back in time.” She hoped.

“I know.” The Olivet instructor assessed her with a half smile. “At least you’re still in one piece, kid.”

“So are you,” she replied.

He wore all black and looked more like a Mafia thug than a man of God. His dark Italian complexion was marred by a scar across his temple, and he was built like a Marine. Moira supposed it was to be expected, since Rico led St. Michael’s version of Special Forces. Not so much an army for God as an army against Satan.

Rico gave her a tight hug, then kissed her on the cheek. “It’s good to see you. I’ve been worried.”

“Like you said, I’m in one piece.”

She’d forgotten how much she loved Rico, even if she’d wanted to kill him-often-during training. He’d forced her to work harder, think deeper, and feel far too much, all to break her apart and mold her into a warrior. In the end, when she thought she’d been torn apart one too many times and would never be anything but a pawn in a game she didn’t understand, he showed her that she was stronger than she’d believed possible.

But it was hugely different, and ten times harder, being in the actual battle than training for a hypothetical one. People didn’t die during training, and now there were no second chances.

He stepped back and she asked, “How did you know I was here?”

“I didn’t. I came here first so I could see the ruins firsthand.”

“And what are your conclusions?”

He looked around the cliffs. “I know you’re standing outside where the circle was cast by Fiona’s coven. I saw where the plants began to die. I know there were demons here-powerful demons-by the evidence. The corruption of the soil, the dead earth. But”-he stared at her gravely-“I don’t sense Hell. I don’t feel the heat or see the rivers of fire. I’m aware of the evil because of what I see-it’s overwhelming if you know the signs-but that is nothing compared to what you feel.”

“How do you know what I feel?” she whispered.

“Before he was killed, Father Philip told me everything. There are no secrets. All I have to do is look at you and see the fear in your eyes.”

Her hands clenched and unclenched as she shifted her weight from the right to the left foot. Rico watched her fidget, himself standing still as a statue. It always made her nervous how Rico saw deeper inside her than she wanted. “Fear is your worst enemy, Moira. You need to take control of your emotions.”

“I can’t.” She gritted her teeth. “You weren’t there.”

He hadn’t been talking about the ruins and neither was she. One mention of Father Philip and she was mentally transported back to their battle against the demon Envy.

“You’re not the first person to have faced an incarnate demon.”

“Well, that takes away the warm fuzzies. I no longer feel special.”

“You forget I know you.”

“I haven’t forgotten.” He knew her weaknesses and doubts, what made her cry and what made her angry. She hated that.

“Show me your arm,” he demanded.

She put her hand on her hip. “No please? Where are your manners?”

He stared. Without humor, he said, “Please.”

Her heart was racing. Why did she care if he saw the scar? Why did she care what he thought, or if she’d screwed up? He might banish her, he might hate her, but he wouldn’t kill her. At least she didn’t think he’d kill her.

She angrily took off her jacket and dropped it to the ground. In the cold salt air, goose bumps rose from her sweaty skin. She held out her arm and Rico took her hand, turned it so he could inspect her injury. Considering the ferocity of the attack, it was amazing that there were only two small, round scars; one on her wrist and one near the inside of her elbow, where the demon’s jagged teeth had punctured deep into her flesh. The marks were faded as if she’d hurt herself as a kid-not been bitten by a rabid demon dog just two weeks ago.

“Tell me what happened.”

“I told you-”

He squeezed her wrist. “Everything.”

She jerked her arm away. “I did my research and figured out where Fiona was keeping Rafe. I found him in a double demon trap-Rafe was locked in a circle to protect him from the demon dog, and the demon was trapped in the room circling him, to prevent Rafe from leaving.”

“What did the demon look like?”

“Ugly as sin. Like a Cerberus, but with one head. Four legs, but his tail wasn’t wagging. It was spiked, like a stumpy dragon tail with thorns. I ran through his domain and into the trap with Rafe. I had to get Rafe out before Fiona returned. Not to mention that Fiona and her band of merry magicians were setting up their own ritual to regain control of the Seven. I stabbed the beast with a poison dart. He croaked, but not before the hellion bit me.”

“What happened to your arm at that point?”

“It hurt like it was being burned in the fucking flames of Hell. What else?” Her breathing quickened as Rico drew out her anger. Meanwhile, he was a damn emotional iceberg. He had to be. He’d tried to train her to be just as cool but failed in that regard. She’d never learned to perfect the hard, uncaring exterior that most Olivet graduates maintained.

He didn’t respond. She closed her eyes, picturing herself back in the middle of that round room that had reeked of sulphur and rot. “It bit me as I plunged the poison dart into its chest. It convulsed and died in the corner. And no matter what Anthony says, it was dead, not just unconscious. And don’t ask me why it didn’t turn to ash or disappear into the underworld-I don’t know, and at the time I didn’t think about it because we had more pressing issues.”

“Your arm?”

“It hurt, it bled, it bubbled like acid. I wrapped it in a shirt, then Rafe and I got the hell out of Dodge. When I took the shirt off, it was-well, the little teeth marks were mostly gone, and poof! I had these two deep red punctures. By the next day they were scars, and now they’re like this.”

There was an awkward silence as he fully concentrated.

“Show me your hand.”

“Hand?”

“Don’t be obtuse. The hand that Raphael cut open and stuffed in the demon Envy’s gut.”

She felt the blood drain from her face. Rico Cortese was watching her, observant as a hawk. She held out her left hand and he took firm hold of her wrist.

Rafe hadn’t cut through any tendons and the throbbing pain had disappeared, but she’d have a scar for life-unlike the scars on her arm, which would soon completely vanish.

He stared for a long minute. Moira snapped, “Take a fucking picture.”

Rico dropped her hand, removed a small box from his inside jacket pocket, and handed it to her. “Open it.”

She did. Inside was a syringe and vial. Before she quite knew what he intended to do, Rico took a rubber tie from his pocket.

“What?” Moira began, looking from the syringe to Rico, then back again. “You-want my blood?”

“Please make a fist.”

Moira didn’t want to comply. Tears burned in her eyes. “What’s going on?” she demanded. Rico tied the rubber around her upper arm, tapped her vein, rubbed an alcohol wipe over the spot, and inserted the needle. Blood flowed into a vial.

He wasn’t going to tell her. She hated him right then. What a fool she was! A guinea pig, a lab rat, for what she didn’t even know. Why had she done any of this? Why hadn’t she just run away after Peter died and never returned to St. Michael’s? Never gone to Olivet? She could have fought Fiona on her own terms, and so what if Moira had died and gone to Hell? At least she would have taken Fiona with her. Peter’s death would have been avenged. Now Moira was tied to St. Michael’s Order, and they wanted her blood.

Rico released the rubber strap. “Relax.”

“Right.” She swallowed heavily as he swapped out one vial and replaced it with another empty tube. He took three samples, put them in the box, closed it, and put it back in his jacket. She glared at him. “What are you going to do with my blood?”

Rico’s expression softened just a fraction, and she knew him well enough to read that he regretted what he had to do.

But duty always won.

“I’m proud of you,” Rico said as he put a small Band-Aid over the puncture.

That was the last thing she’d expected him to say. She put her jacket back on.

“You didn’t answer my question.” Moira’s imagination ran the gamut of possibilities. Did she have some demonic virus? Had the demon infected her when it bit her? Or when Rafe sliced open her hand? Did they think the Seven Deadly Sins had affected her or her judgment? Were they working on a cure? She almost laughed at the thought, as if St. Michael’s would look beyond their battle toward a medical cure for losing one’s soul to a demon.

“I don’t have the answers you want.”

He turned away, signaling the conversation was over. She almost pushed him-verbally and physically. She wanted answers, and she’d fight to get them. But there was something subtle in Rico’s expression that had her backing down.

Instead of pushing, she said, “We should go back. I’m sure Anthony is wondering why you’re late.”

“I’m not late.”

She glanced at her watch. “He said twenty minutes-oh, about forty minutes ago.”

“Anthony will wait.” He turned back to face her. “Your emotions are dangerous not only to you, Moira, but to others. You care far too much. In our war, casualties are unfortunate but necessary. You can’t think logically if you act solely on your feelings or your loyalties are divided. There is a balance; you must find it. I thought I’d taught you better.”

“And you can forget Father Philip that easily? Snap, no feelings? No damn grief? I’m still human, just the way God made me, right?”

Rico reddened. She’d rarely seen him react to her needling. “I will say this once. I loved Father Philip and I grieve for our loss.” His voice quivered on the last sentence; then he said with firmness, “But I will not allow pain, sorrow, hatred, or rage to stop me from my sacred duty.”

Moira touched his arm, wishing she hadn’t pushed him. “I know you cared; I was out of line.”

He dipped his head and squeezed her fingers. “I cannot expect you to control your emotions any better than you have. You weren’t raised on the island.”

In other words, she was an outsider. Loneliness washed over her. Why did she think something had changed? Why did she think she belonged? She was as alone now as she’d been the day Peter died. One year of bliss in a lifetime filled with pain, loss, and violence.

“I must ask you,” he continued, “did Raphael use magic?”

Another unexpected question. Rico was full of surprises.

She answered as truthfully as she could, but still felt as though she was betraying both Rafe and Rico. She didn’t want to lie, but what was the truth?

“I don’t know.” She didn’t like the look on Rico’s face. Though he didn’t display any emotion she could identify, she knew Rico well enough to know that he was concerned about something-almost worried. Very unlike him. “Why do you think he did?”

“I read Anthony’s report. There are questions. Anthony may be too close to Raphael to … be impartial. And he doesn’t understand magic like you do.”

“There was so much magic flying around I could barely discern individual spells, let alone who was wielding the power. It was awful.” She paused, then asked Rico the question that had been on her mind since the moment she first saw him. That it effectively changed the subject was an added benefit. “Have you heard anything about Fiona? Where she’s hiding?”

He shook his head. “You will be the first to know, Moira. I can search for her all I want, but you’ll be the one to find her. You know that. For seven years, you’ve been the only one who could.”

“Oh, joy.”

He took both her hands and held them. How unlike Rico, showing compassion. “I am not going to lie to you, Moira. Our war will get harder. Defeating Fiona is only part of the whole. You must destroy the Conoscenza.”

“That damn book!” She looked around at the dead earth. That book-the Book of Knowledge, the ancient grimoire filled with spells allegedly written in demon blood-was supposed to have been destroyed more than a century ago. But Fiona had searched for it and found it, believing it would give her the key to immortality. And perhaps it would. Fiona didn’t care about the cost; she didn’t care about anything but her own selfish desires. The Seven Deadly Sins she’d released from Hell were only the beginning, and Moira would do everything in her power to stop her.

Except use magic. Her attempt to stop Fiona with magic before had left the only person she’d ever loved dead, and Moira herself somehow connected to the underworld in ways she certainly didn’t understand. She doubted even Rico or Father Philip understood. Which was why everyone was wary around her. Suspicious, like Anthony.

“Have you figured out how I’m supposed to get rid of this book?”

“No. But Dr. Lieber has agreed to meet with Anthony. We hope to have answers very soon.”

She should be happy with the news, but the way Rico said it, a blanket of foreboding suffocated her.

“Terrific!” she said with fake enthusiasm. “I can hardly wait.”

“Moira, please be careful.”

“Always.” She winked at him. “I’m running back to the house. See if you can keep up.”

She ran, not waiting for an answer to her unspoken challenge, sure he wasn’t telling her everything, but not knowing whether it was because he didn’t want to or whether his silence was due to orders from a higher power. She wished she knew exactly who was calling the shots. She hated being a pawn.

Either way, Rico was keeping secrets from her and those secrets were going to hurt her.

Or get her killed.