Castle Kidnapped

Twenty-one Drawing Room, Family Residence

He entered a spacious room full of stately furniture. Ancient tapestries draped the walls, hanging alongside antique weapons, shields, coats of arms, and suchlike. Glass-fronted cabinets stood here and about, displaying glassware and other historical artifacts. It was a quiet, comfortable room with many points of interest, among which was a curious device lying on a table to one side. He went directly to it.

In the main, the thing consisted of glass spheres, copper tubes, brass coils, and other primitive-looking, quasi-electronic components. On the front of the device was a simple instrument panel with a small ground-glass viewing screen.

He adjusted a few controls and flipped a switch. Sparks of violet and blue began to arc within the glass spheres. The device emitted a soft hum.

He made further adjustments, then fetched a chair and seated himself.

Executing a few hand passes, he began chanting in a low monotone.

The hum grew louder, but the glass remained blank.

“Damn it,” he muttered. “Not this thing, too.”

Far-off thunder turned his head. A slight tremor shook the walls.

“I wonder if there’s going to be time,” he mused.

He went back to chanting. Suddenly a great blue spark snapped between two neighboring components.

He jumped up and fanned away the smoke, then checked the works of the device for small fires. Finding none, he fiddled with the controls.

He stepped back a few paces, raised his arms, and extended them forward, his index fingers pointing.

“Machine! I bid thee …work, goddammit!”

The screen came to life, displaying the images of three strange individuals seated behind a long desk. Attired in black turtlenecks and gray jackets, the three shared a family resemblance, though each had his individual aspects. All had dark, close-cropped hair. The one in the middle wore thick eyeglasses in a heavy black frame. The eyes of the individual on the right were pale. His colleague on the opposite side had a large mole on his left cheek.

Glasses spoke first: “This is indeed a pleasure, Lord Incarnadine. We extend our warmest welcome.”

Incarnadine exhaled and took his seat. “Your hospitality is inappropriate, for what you see before you is but an image. For now, I send my simulacrum. Pray to whatever deities you hold in awe that I do not find it necessary to visit you in person.”

Glasses was mildly amused. “Belligerent as always. You will never change, Incarnadine.”

“I will brook no impertinence from you. Moreover, you will address me as ‘Your Serene and Transcendental Majesty.’“

All three laughed. Mole said, “Oh, by all means, Your Serene and … I beg your pardon. What was the rest of it?”

“A simple ‘Majesty’ will do now and then, mixed up with a few ‘sirs.’ Let’s skip it and get to business.” Incarnadine leaned forward, his eyes steely, glints of fire in them. When next he spoke, his voice rattled the glass cabinets.

“What have you done with my sister?”

Glasses blinked his eyes. “Dear me. You seem quite upset. But instead of shouting at the top of your lungs, wouldn’t it be vastly better instead to —?”

“Answer the question! I know she is with you and that she is in great distress. You will release her to me this instant.”

Pale-Eyes spoke, a sneer on his thin gray lips. “It is ironic that you of all people should inquire after your sister’s welfare — you who banished her, consigned her to oblivion.”

“It is monstrous that you, her torturers, speak to me of irony. Release her, I say, or suffer the consequences.”

Mole sniffed indignantly. “Threats. Always threats. Your line breeds true, Majestic One. For thousands of years, your family has done nothing but bluster, bully, and rattle the castle armory. We have done nothing to merit such treatment. We have always wanted peace, cooperation, and mutual understanding.”

Incarnadine snorted. “I won’t bother to debate with you. The issue this time is very clear. You have abducted my sister —”

“We offered asylum!”

“ — and are holding her against her will. If you do not release her, you will suffer consequences dire in the extreme. Moreover, you will also cease and desist from certain supernatural techniques which you have either extorted from my sister or gained by bargaining with her in bad faith. Furthermore —”

“Really,” Glasses protested.

“Furthermore, you will disobey this latter command at the peril of losing your own lives, if not of killing every living being in your universe.”

“How so?” Pale-Eyes asked.

“Surely you have guessed by now. Have not your natural philosophers detected anomalous stresses in the interstitial subspace? Do they not realize what these portend?”

“It is mere conjecture.”

“Not so. You are playing with forces far beyond your control or comprehension.”

Mole shook his head. “We have conducted a few experiments for defense purposes.”

“You are deliberately trying to destabilize Castle Perilous, and you know it. You also know, since you have agents here who can tell you, that your efforts have been successful to a degree.”

Mole waved a bony hand in protest. “We have no agents, as you put it, at work in your residence, or anywhere, for that matter. Really, you must not impute to us your own —”

“Cut the crap!” Incarnadine said. “Listen to me. Continue to do what you’re doing, continue to draw power from the etherium, and you will doom the universe.”

“Absurd exaggeration,” Mole scoffed.

“Paranoid fantasies,” Glasses said.

“Fear-mongering,” was Pales-Eyes’ contribution.

Incarnadine sat back. “All right, enough. I will say this once. Attend me.”

Mole guffawed. “By all means, proceed.”

“If you do not release my sister and desist in these so-called experiments, you will leave me no choice. Listen very carefully to what I am about to describe. If you do not accede to my wishes, I will dispatch to your world a force the like of which you have never imagined. This force, this phenomenon, will kill every living thing in your world. All will perish. There will be no escape. Do you understand me?”

The three silently exchanged glances.

“Well, do you?”

Glasses cleared his throat. “I must say, your threats have reached a new level of malevolence. To blackmail us with talk of genocide —”

“You leave me no choice. If I stay my hand, I doom not only my universe but all the universes.”

“Surely these dire predictions of yours have at least a chance of being mistaken.”

“I have said what I have said. Heed my words.”

Glasses stiffened. “We will not be intimidated! This is too much. We will defend ourselves with all the might at our disposal. Our response to any attack will be massive retaliation! We will not let you —”

The screen suddenly went to snow, then to black. Multiple-colored lines appeared, a test pattern of some sort, which remained a brief moment.

Then a new face appeared. A face only, in close-up. Well proportioned, broad-browed, and photogenic, it gave the impression, somehow, of being artificial, as though rendered by a journeyman artist with no sense of character.

“Inky sweetheart! Listen, forgive my butting in, but things were getting a little out of hand. I thought it wouldn’t hurt to try a different tack entirely.”

Incarnadine allowed a brief smile. “How kind of you. What’s with this new incarnation? Earth dialect, smarmy patter — you sound like a cross between a Hollywood agent and a used-computer salesman.”

“You’re being hostile again, Inky baby. Just trying out a new policy, a new way of dealing with difficult matters. In these perilous times, we simply have to do all we can to oil the diplomatic machinery. Right, Ink?”

“Don’t even think of calling me that. As for this new facade, forget it. At least the Central Committee, or whatever it’s called, has a certain decorum. This is revolting.”

The face looked hurt. “Inky! That was below the belt.”

Incarnadine gave a sardonic grunt. “You have no belt.”

“Now look, Inky, I think it’d be better for all concerned if we just took time to simmer down, get in touch with our emotions, and take stock. All this talk about attacking people and blowing things up and generally declaring war on the whole universe and its environs — well, frankly I’m shocked. How did it get this far, Inky? What a shame, what a colossal shame. And all because both sides can’t quite —”

“Be quiet.”

“Please, let me finish! All this tension has really only one cause. Mutual distrust! That’s it in a clamshell, Inky. Really, I know what I’m talking about. In such a charged atmosphere as this, a productive dialogue is all but impossible. Both sides have to change in order for —”

“Silence!”

The face on the screen stopped moving its lips, its blue eyes wide and blank.

Incarnadine stood. “I don’t know what ploy, what game you’re playing — good cop/bad cop, or what. It won’t work. It’s too far gone for that! I meant what I said. Obey or die. It’s as simple as that. You know me, you know my power. Take warning or be resigned to your doom.”

The face took animation once more. “Well, go ahead and be that way, Inky. It’s all the same to me. You can’t scare us. We have your silly cow of a sister, and after we get done with her, we’ll start on you. You can’t stop us — human scum! Shit-eating bastard human filth! We’ll kill all of you, every last —”

The screen went blank, became a rectangle of ground glass once again.

He lowered his head and heaved a great sigh.

Rising, he turned off the device. The humming stopped and the sparks faded.

A stronger tremor shook the room. He looked off, sensing its magnitude. Then his eyes turned inward.

At length he came out of his reverie and turned toward the door, walking briskly.

He muttered, “Now I gotta put my paycheck where my oral cavity gapes — as it were.”