Cat In A Leopard Spot

Chapter 17

Judgment Day

The judge’s ill-tempered squint was more pronounced when she returned from viewing Temple’s tape of Louie’s and Yvette’s commercials and reviewing the documents in the case, which were all Temple’s.

She glared first at Savannah and Temple, and then at Louie and Yvette.

All four had the abstracted air of the blameless who had nothing to hide. The judge’s glare deepened, then she rapped her gavel once to hush the hissing that had erupted among the onlookers at her reappearance.

“I don’t know about you two ladies, but veteran viewers know that it is extremely unlikely for claimants to recover any monetary damages in cases involving animals or domestic pets. As we know, the law recognizes no intrinsic value other than as property.”

Onlookers nodded, while Temple shrank and Savannah’s posture puffed up, which wasn’t hard to do in either case.

“We all know,” the judge went on, “that however emotionally people may invest in their animals, the court cannot compensate them beyond the literal value of the cats in question.

“Besides, how much is an alley cat worth? For that is what Midnight Louie is.” The judge stared into the black cat’s green eyes. “About thirty-two dollars.”

Temple gasped. The fee at stake for the winning party was twenty-five hundred dollars.

“Give or take a few dollars—or cents—more,” Judge Jones added.

Temple, horrified, opened her mouth, but a searing glance from the judge stopped things then and there.

“Obviously,” the judge added, “Yvette is worth considerably more, due to her pedigree. I have, in fact, the sole piece of evidence from Miss Ashleigh: Yvette’s purchase price. “Twelve hundred and fifty dollars.”

Savannah tossed her shaded silver locks.

Temple mentally kissed even half of the twenty-five hundred good-bye.

The judge looked down at the papers on her desk, then up at the camera.

“However, in this case, Midnight Louie is not just an alley cat. He is a performing alley cat. Thus, Miss Barr’s argument that his offspring might have had value has credence. And although human pain and suffering is not a factor in this or any other case, no one can argue that being abducted and operated upon without the consent of his owner is a severe breach of the animal’s welfare.

“So I am awarding Miss Barr and Midnight Louie the full damages of twenty-five hundred dollars. You should not jump the gun, Miss Ashleigh, and nail the wrong dude. It does not work with a smoking gun, and it does not work with a surgical scalpel.

“Case dismissed. Award to plaintiff of twenty-five hundred dollars.”

The courtroom buzzed.

Or maybe the buzzing was just the sound of purring cats.

Temple thought perhaps she was purring. She had won. Made Savannah Ashleigh look stupid on dead (as opposed to live) TV. Got some shoe money! Well, some of it should go to Louie’s Free-to-Be-Feline fund.

Justice was sweet.

“I’m not done with you, Miss Barr,” the judge snarled.

Temple blinked.

“Whatever the outcome of this case,” she went on, “the fact remains that you are a derelict cat owner. Why didn’t you take care of your animal’s irresponsible condition? Why has only Miss Ashleigh’s wrongheaded intervention kept him from breeding irresponsibly? Only luck made him innocent of fathering a litter of unwanted kittens.”

“It’s—” Temple began. “He just ended up as my cat because no one else wanted him. I’ve never owned a cat before. I thought Louie was too old—”

“They are never too old, Miss Barr. You should remember that for your own personal protection as well. And what was Midnight Louie doing out where Miss Ashleigh or her minions could kidnap him?”

“Well, he’s too big to keep in—”

“They are never too big to keep in, for their own good. Remember that. If pet owners like yourself would simply neuter your animals and. keep them inside, millions of unwanted lives would not be sacrificed yearly. You owe, in fact, Miss Ashleigh thanks for unwittingly—and I do believe it was genuinely unwitting—putting your own house in order on this matter. From now on, if any suspicions of parentage come up, Midnight Louie will not be a likely suspect.”

Temple nodded soberly. “He doesn’t need a paternity suit. Not with his celebrity status.”