Changing with Families - A Book About Further Education For Being Human

1

The term language assumption or presupposition refers to the things which the listener must assume to be true about the world of experience in order for the verbal communication to make any sense at all. For example, if I say to you, either:

(a) I ignored the ant on my plate.

Or

(b) I didn't ignore the ant on my plate.

in order for you to make sense out of what I have said, you must accept a world of experience in which it is true that:

(c) There was an ant on my plate.

Each of us as speaker/listener of the language English (the same is true of every other natural language) is constantly using presuppositions in our verbal communications. Learning to understand and use this pattern will increase the effectiveness of your communication. In this volume, we include an appendix, A, which identifies some of the many English forms which carry presuppositions. We also recommend pages 52-53 and pages 9295 in Volume I of The Structure of Magic, Science and Behavior Books, 1975; pages 240-243 in Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D., Volume I, Meta Publications, 1975; and Part II of The Structure of Magic, Volume II, Science and Behavior Books, 1976, for a fuller presentation of the various uses of this pattern.

2

The use of the pattern of verbal communication called embedded question in the context of hypnosis is presented on pages 237240 in Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D.

3

The use of the pattern of verbal communication called conversational postulate or polite command in the context of hypnosis is presented on pages 241-246 of Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D.

4

The term referential index refers to whether a language representation picks out a specific portion of the listener's world of experience. For example, the words and phrases:

. . . this page . . .

. . . the reader . . .

. . . Virginia Satir . . .

. . . the number on this page . . .

all pick out a specific part of the reader's ongoing experience, while words and phrases such as:

. . . that particular sensation . . .

. . . people who fail to understand this sentence ...

. . . someone, sometime, somewhere, somehow, something . . .

... no one, everybody, all the times I can remember . . .

do not pick out a specific part of the reader's experience. We recommend pages 47-48 and 80-88 in The Structure of Magic, Volume I; pages 160-177 in Conjoint Family Therapy, Science and Behavior Books, 1964; and pages 217-224 in Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D., for a more extended presentation.

5

A fuller presentation of the use of this verbal pattern is available on pages 40-43, 49-51, and 59-73 in The Structure of Magic, Volume I; and pages 209-231 in Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D.

6

The process of requesting that the family member specify his process descriptions — that is, specify verbs — is one of the ways in which the therapist insures that he or she is working with the coping pattern in the family member's model of the world and not in the therapist's own model projected onto the family member. A fuller presentation is available on pages 48-49 and 90-92 in The Structure of Magic, Volume I.

7

The therapist's (or hypnotist's) ability to identify and gracefully use the verbal patterns of nominalization is one of the most powerful verbal intervention patterns of which we are aware. A fuller presentation of the uses of this pattern is available on pages 43-44 and 74-80 in The Structure of Magic, Volume I; and pages 162-164 and 229-231 in Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D.

8

This category of verbal patterning — Semantic Ill-formedness — is one of the most powerful verbal patterns available to therapists and hypnotists in their communication. See pages 51-53 and 95-107 in The Structure of Magic, Volume I; and pages 146-152 and 209-215 in Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D. In the references cited, we distinguish three classes of semantic ill-formedness: Cause-Effect semantic ill-formedness, Mind Reading and Lost Performative.

9

Cause-Effect semantic ill-formedness embodies all of the cases in which one person claims that another person is causing him to experience some feeling or thought, some inner state, without there being any direct physical contact between the two people. Our point is that each of us can come to have a choice about how the words, tones, body postures, movements, etc., of others will affect us. The technique of identifying Cause-Effect semantic ill-formedness by the language form in which it is presented is discussed in detail in The Structure of Magic, Volume I, pages 51-52 and 95-98; Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D., Volume I, pages 146-151 and 209-213; and The Structure of Magic, Volume II, Parts II, III, and V.

10

Mind-Reading semantic ill-formedness, along with Cause-Effect semantic ill-formedness, is the basis of much of the calibrated communication cycles which result in pain and dissatisfaction for family members. See The Structure of Magic, Volume I, pages 104-106, and Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D., Volume I, pages 151-152 and 213-215.

11

Complex Equivalence is the relationship between a word or set of words and some experience which those words name. For example, for some people the word caring means always responding when help is requested; for others, it means knowing what the other person requires and supplying it without any need for the other to ask; for still others, it means touching gently; looking happy when the other person approaches, etc. Thus, the pattern of Complex Equivalence is roughly the same as the idea of the definition of the word(s) involved; however, Complex Equivalence is not of the standard dictionary definition, but must be relativized to the particular person's model of the world. See The Structure of Magic, Volume I, pages 88-90; Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D., Volume II.

12

Modal operators are discussed in more detail in The Structure of Magic, Volume I, pages 69-73.

13

The Structure of Magic, Volume I, Chapter 1, includes a discussion of these three principles.

14

The notion of representational systems refers to the way in which each of us typically represents to ourselves the world of experience. An extended presentation of this pattern and the ways in which it can be usefully employed is given in The Structure of Magic, Volume II, Part I; and in Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D., especially Volume II.

15

This technique — adding representational systems — is meta-tactic II, discussed in Part I of The Structure of Magic, Volume II.

16

Congruency is perhaps the single most important dimension of communication which each of us, as agents of change, can develop — both in being congruent in our own communication and in our ability to detect congruency and incongruency in the communication of others. See Part II, The Structure of Magic, Volume II; Peoplemaking, Science and Behavior Books, 1972, Chapters 4 and 5; and Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D., Volume II.

17

We recommend that the reader read Parts II and IV of The Structure of Magic, Volume II, for an extended discussion of the development and utilization of incongruency in both individual and family therapy.

18

We intend to explore the notion of rules, their development and utilization in therapy, in Volume II of Changing with Families (forthcoming). We recommend R. D. Laing's discussion of rules in Politics of the Family and Other Essays, Tavistock, London; Peoplemaking, Chapter 7; and The Structure of Magic, Volume II, Part IV.

19

This phenomenon, in which changes occur in areas of behavior not expressly dealt with in the therapeutic session, is discussed in The Magic of Patterns/The Patterns of Magic (forthcoming, Bandler and Grinder). The key concept is that of isomorphism, same-form pattern. Thus, if an individual makes a change in the area of the way he relates to his mother — that is, he gains new choices about how he relates to his mother — then, typically, he surprises himself with a change in his behavior about the way he relates to his wife, the women with whom he works at the office, etc. The specific principles by which such changes are generalized will be presented in the reference cited above.

20

Calibrated communication, as with all of the processes of communication, is not an inherently bad or pain-producing process. It is the basis for close teamwork, whether in the context of co-therapy, ballet, team sporting events, etc. However, just as with each communication and modeling principle of which we are aware, such calibrated communication processes must be checked for their usefulness. When these processes lead to pain and dissatisfaction for the family, they must be reexamined and new choices must be developed. Gregory Bateson presents an excellent discussion of the differences between feedback and calibration in his article, "The Bio-social Integration of Behavior in the Schizophrenic Family," in Therapy, Communication and Change, D. D. Jackson (ed.), Volume II; Science and Behavior Books, 1968, pp. 9-15.

21

By self-esteem we mean the person's understanding of his own worth as a human being. See Peoplemaking, Science and Behavior Books, 1972, Chapter 3, and Conjoint Family Therapy, Science and Behavior Books, 1972, Chapters II and VI, for an extended discussion of this concept.