Chaos Mode

CHAPTER 14—PROBLEMS

NONA had to admit that the odd Earth customs had their points. The ritual of the wedding, with the fancy gown, and music, and cake, and dancing—that was nice. It had been a genuinely moving occasion, despite the fact that she was only playing a part. She had been standing in for Colene, the real bride. It was too bad that Colene had had to miss her own ceremony, but at least she now had her heart’s desire: marriage to Darius.

Now they were riding back to Colene’s kingdom of Oklahoma, from the neighboring kingdom of Texas, where proxy marriages were permitted to girls of fourteen. Colene’s parents had been very nice about both the wedding and the proxy aspect, thanks in part to Seqiro’s influence. But it was also because the parents had had serious difficulties in their own marriage, and felt guilty because Colene had suffered thereby, and were trying to make it up to her. This wedding was the symbol of their makeup. In this, at least, they could give their daughter the best. Then forever after they could remember that beautiful occasion, and believe that everything had worked out for the best. Nona had lost her own parents, as a result of the strife entailed in the changing of the animus to anima on Oria. Actually they had not been her birth parents, because of a ruse intended to conceal Nona’s nature as the ninth of the ninth. But they had been the ones she had known for all of her life, and she loved them, and only magic grief-healing had enabled her to carry through in the first days after the news of their deaths. Gradually she was eliminating the magic and assuming more of the grief herself; only when she could handle the whole of it would she be emotionally stable in her natural state. Here on Earth, substituting for Colene, she found herself warming to these parents, who were truly hurting, if in a different way. So while Nona was a mere proxy for the wedding, there were aspects of it that were meaningful for her personally.

She had to admit, privately, that it had been fun kissing and dancing with Darius. He was the kind of man she would like to have, at such time as she was ready to have a man. So was Amos, Colene’s science teacher. Neither was muscular or physically prepossessing, but both had knowledge and special abilities, and a keen sense of right and wrong. It was intellect and conscience that most truly distinguished one man from another.

They reached the thicket where Seqiro snoozed. The horse’s mind remained attuned to the two of them, so that they could converse and understand Colene’s parents, but he was otherwise at rest. Darius was about to get out to ride the horse back, but Nona stopped him. “You have a wife to return to. I will go with Seqiro tonight.”

He looked surprised. Then he nodded. Colene was now Old Enough, by the standard of her culture.

So Nona got out and joined the horse, and Darius remained in the car with the parents. Nona watched the vehicle depart, then floated up to land on Seqiro’s broad back. She had been careful not to use her magic during the wedding; though the people had been placed there by the caterer, they would have noticed something that did not follow the normal rules of science. She had been similarly discreet with Colene’s parents. Only with Amos, at Colene’s direction, had she demonstrated her powers. And during the ceremony, using illusion to make herself resemble Colene. Seqiro had sent the scene back to Colene without the illusion, because Colene understood. But now, alone with Seqiro, she had no need for concealment.

“I wonder how Darius and Colene are doing?” she mused, at about the time the two should be getting together. “No, don’t spy on them, Seqiro! Leave them their privacy. Spy out only one thing: how is Burgess doing?”

Burgess is healing. They found the substance required. It is magnesium. Amos brought enough of it to supply Burgess for as long as he needs.

“That is a relief! Burgess is a nice creature, who would not have suffered if we had not brought him to the Virtual Mode.”

He would have suffered death at the trunks of his former hive. The Virtual Mode was a necessary rigor.

“That is true. Still, I am glad he is better. It would have been awful if Colene had made her sacrifice, only to lose him.”

It was pleasant, traveling with the horse. It reminded her of the time she had first been with him, in her own Julia Mode, hiding from the despots. They had gone under the water, with the help of her magic. But there was no need for that, here; Seqiro’s own magic sufficed to keep the natives incurious. So they proceeded at a leisurely pace, chatting about inconsequentials. They paused to eat, with Nona making him a fine bag of sweet horsefeed and a pail of cool water. Then they resumed, and Nona slept as the horse made his way through the night. This was the sort of life Nona was satisfied to maintain indefinitely: just a girl and horse, crossing an odd land.

By now, Darius and Colene must be indulging in their nuptial night. Colene had been so eager for it, despite her youth, always frustrated by Darius’ insistence that she was too young by the standard of her culture. Now that same standard made her Old Enough. Despite her disclaimer, Nona found herself to be almost unbearably curious. The girl had, after all, despite her youth, had sexual experience. Would that make a difference?

Nona stifled her curiosity as long as she could, but it would not be denied. “Seqiro, I know it is wrong, but—”

They are not yet in their nuptial night. Colene’s parents have arranged a room for them for the night elsewhere in the town, but Colene will not leave Burgess untended.

“Then we must rejoin them after all. I had thought they would be with Burgess.”

The parents are not aware that anything except supplies is in the tent. They do not understand why Colene delays, but I have helped them to be unconcerned.

So they moved on at a faster pace, and approached the town. Colene, understanding that they would join Burgess within an hour, finally agreed to go to what she called the motel with Darius. The night was now half done.

Nona and Seqiro reached the tent. Burgess was there, much improved. Nona got down and touched a contact point.

At the rate he was recovering, Burgess would be fit for the Virtual Mode again on the next day. He was eager to end this delay, so that Colene and Darius could at last reach the end of their long journey and be at peace.

Those were Burgess’ thoughts, all right. He was in no further trouble. Nona set up her bed in the tent and lay down to sleep for the rest of the night, while Seqiro grazed in the gully behind Colene’s house. Though well fed on grain, the horse still liked to do for himself, and he was careful not to leave droppings where they would bother anyone. This, he knew, was the place where Colene had once dreamed she might find a lost horse. That gave the region a certain compatibility.

But Nona did not sleep. Her curiosity about what did not concern her surged back. Exactly what went on during a nuptial night? Eventually there would come the time when Nona herself participated in one. She understood about sex, of course, but was that all? What did such folk say to each other? Did they get the sex out of the way early, or were they more leisurely about it? Or did they keep doing it through the night, catching up on formerly suppressed desires? Was each episode swift or slow?

She got up and went to check on Burgess again, more to distract herself than for concern for his health. She put a hand on a contact point.

What did two of the human persuasion do when united in a mating agreement? Would that agreement alienate them from the hive? Would it change their personalities? Would Colene no longer come to share thoughts with Burgess? The matter was worrisome.

Nona almost laughed. The floater was just as curious as she was!

That did it. “Seqiro,” she murmured, “give us the scene.”

She sat beside Burgess as the scene formed in her mind, translating it for him. It showed the room where Darius and Colene were. They were eating a snack. Behind them a large bed remained undisturbed. They had not yet gotten to it. Nona felt guilty for being relieved.

But how could she see the scene with both of them in it? Seqiro could only animate the pictures in people’s minds; he did not do illusion the way Nona’s people did. This had to be what Darius saw, or what Colene saw, in which case the view person would be missing from the image.

Then the view shifted, and Nona saw the mirror. Darius had been gazing in the mirror across the table, seeing the reflection of the two of them. Now he saw only Colene.

They continued their eating. This was not exactly what Nona had hoped to see. But she schooled herself to guilty patience. They would surely get to it. Why had they delayed so long already?

They finished eating. Colene went to the lavatory and brushed her teeth. She changed into a sheer nightie. She went to the bed. She looked almost unbearably cute. Then Darius took his turn, taking a shower, emerging naked, drying, and going to the bed. Nona’s patience was finally to be rewarded.

“I guess I’m Old Enough, now,” Colene said almost challengingly.

“By the standard of your culture,” Darius agreed.

“So this time when I come on to you, you aren’t going to ignore me. You’re really going to do it.”

“Yes.” He spoke calmly, but Nona could feel his surging desire. He had wanted this as much as Colene had, and now at last they could have it,

“I guess you think I’ve been stalling.”

“There is no need to rush you.”

“It’s what I’ve always wanted from you. Full commitment at last.”

“Yes. There are no further barriers.”

He reached out a hand to touch her, under the sheet, expecting her to meet him with an almost savage hunger. Instead, Colene stiffened visibly.

Darius withdrew his hand. “Is something wrong?”

Colene burst into tears.

Darius was startled, as was Nona, sharing his vision and receiving his emotion. The vision through his eyes blinked. What was the matter?

“Oh, Darius, you’re going to have to rape me.”

“What?”

“I just can’t do it! I thought I could, and I really do want to, but I keep remembering how it was with those four, and I just freeze up.”

“But they are being dealt with, now. They will pay for their crime against you.”

“They can never pay enough!”

“And you have been trying to seduce me all along,” Darius said, perplexed.

“Always before I knew you wouldn’t do it,” she said, the tears squeezing out of her closed eyes. “I was baiting the bull, when the bull was corralled. Now I know it’s loose.”

“Then we must wait until you are ready. I did not understand.” Nona felt his terrible disappointment.

“No! Do it now! We’ve got to do it on our wedding night. Everyone knows that. Just rape me. I promise not to resist. I didn’t before.”

Even Nona could see that this was just about as appetizing as a slab of wormy meat. What an attitude to bring to the nuptial night!

“No,” Darius said with deep regret.

Colene kicked off the sheet, pulled up her nightie to expose thighs, torso, and breasts, and spread her arms and legs in the manner of a scarecrow. “Do it, Darius! No resistance. This is as far as I can go.”

“I have desired you from the outset,” Darius said carefully. “When you first came to me, as I lay beaten on the ground. But I would not take you, because you were not ready. I desired you as we came to know each other, and you tempted me with your tight trousers—”

“Jeans.”

“And your sheer nightie. This nightie. I wanted you more than anything. But I did not take you, because you asked me not to. I desired you when we were together on Oria, and you asked me to take you, but then I knew that you were too young, so I did not. I desire you now, more than ever, but—”

“Take me! Take me!” Her eyes were closed, her teeth clenched, as if she were expecting to be tortured,

“But you are afraid. I will not do it when you fear it. Relax and sleep, Colene; I will let you be.”

Her face twisted into the semblance of anger. “What is it—I’m inadequate? Not enough body for you? Would you hold off if it were Nona?”

Nona jumped.

Darius took the taunting question seriously. “Yes. I would not do it with Nona, because it is not her desire, and it is not your desire that I do it with her.”

Nona relaxed. He had spoken the exact truth. But her respect for him was increasing, because she knew the strength of his desire and the agony of his decision.

“You didn’t answer the right question,” Colene complained. “Is my body too immature for you? Not like Pussy?”

Pussy? Nona wondered.

A female feline of the DoOon Mode who tried to seduce Darius. He found her quite interesting.

“A car?” Nona asked.

A Null. A human slave, called a feline, with a feline face, but in other respects an extremely well-endowed human woman. The DoOons have many such slaves, with the aspects of cats, dogs, horses, pigs—

“Pigs!”

The Emperor’s Nulls are pigs. They command great respect.

Nona decided to let it pass, lest she miss the dialogue on which she was so guiltily eavesdropping. Darius had tried to demur, but Colene insisted that he answer the question of bodily endowment.

“You are adequate,” he said, with his precision. “In fact I like your slender little body very well. But you must truly want the interaction.”

“I do want it! I just can’t do it! Rape me, and maybe I’ll loosen up. Just get me past this hurdle, Darius.”

“No.”

“I’ll make you do it!” she cried. “Seqiro! Make him do it!”

No.

“Damn it, whose horse are you, anyway?”

Darius smiled grimly. “Seqiro loves you, Colene, as do I. He will never hurt you, for the same reason I will not.”

Colene lay there crying, the picture of misery.

Darius paused, then spoke. “I am going to touch you. I am going to bring you to me. I am going to kiss you. I am going to hold you close. I am going to love you. I am not going to coerce you into sexual expression. This is the way it will be, until such time as you truly wish it otherwise.”

She remained frozen. Carefully he reached for her, putting his hands on her shoulders. He brought down her nightie, so that it covered her body again. He brought his body across and brought his head down to hers, kissing her. Then he turned her to face him, and clasped her to him. He stroked her sodden hair, and her back, gently.

“Oh, Darius, I’m so ashamed!”

“No. You have been hurt, and the hurt has not yet healed. I did not properly understand, before. Now I do. We shall heal you, Colene. In time. In time.”

“In time,” she agreed, relaxing at last.

Nona shook her head. “I did not know how bad it was. How she was hurting.”

She did not wish to share it.

“I can heal a person physically, but emotional hurt is beyond my power. I can not help her in this respect.”

Neither can I. I can only help her to block it out.

“Is it this way for every girl who is raped?”

I do not know.

“It must be, at least to some extent. Some rapes must be worse than others. Some girls must be more sensitive. But it is a terrible thing, regardless.”

Regardless, the horse agreed.

Regardless, Burgess agreed.

“But we will all help her to recover, however we can.”

There was agreement from horse and floater. And, perhaps, Darius, whose disappointment was second only to Colene’s own.

Nona returned to her bed. “Help me to sleep,” she asked Seqiro. Then she slept.

IN the morning Burgess was so much improved as to be almost at full strength. Nona was somewhat logy, having remained awake too late, to snoop on Colene. Yet she was glad she had done it, though she had not learned what she expected. She had discovered the girl’s true weakness, so now knew what was needed. Colene needed the support of the hive, in much the way Burgess did. She would have it.

Late in the morning Colene’s father drove his car to the motel to pick them up. Nona cleaned up the tent, getting things organized so that they could travel again. They all knew that Colene wanted to get on with the journey to Darius’ home Mode. Nona suspected that Colene would be better off with more delay, while she worked out her scrambled feelings, but it was not Nona’s province to make that decision. They would go to Darius’ Mode, and then see. Perhaps the others—Seqiro, Burgess, and Nona—would remain there for a while, to be sure that all was in order, before deciding what to do.

Colene’s mother came back to the tent. “Nona—may I talk with you?” she asked hesitantly.

“Of course.” What could the woman want?

“I know you are not exactly what you seem. That none of you are exactly what you seem. Not even Colene, now. But I believe you are good people.”

“I believe we are,” Nona agreed cautiously.

“It was a nice wedding.”

“It was very nice.”

“We really do want what is best for Colene. After she disappeared, before, we realized how poorly we had served her. When my husband had an affair, it drove me to drink. I just didn’t think of the effect on Colene, to my shame. My husband loves our daughter too. We were both blind to the effect on our child. We resolved that if God should grant us another chance, we would do better. Then Colene returned, with an older woman, and a strange story of a Virtual Mode. We concluded that she had fallen under the influence of an evil cult, and that the strange woman was preventing her from escaping it. We tried to save her from that. Then she disappeared again, right before our eyes, and we realized too late that she was involved in something beyond our understanding. When we learned the story of the gangster and the little girl, we saw that Colene had done something good. So we believed her, too late. We swore to God that if we should ever have yet another chance, this time we would trust in our daughter and do whatever she wished to be done. We swore to lead perfect lives until we had our child back again. And we did so—and Colene did return again.”

The woman stopped, overtaken by emotion. “You did what Colene wished,” Nona agreed. This family had been dysfunctional; now it was trying so hard to recover. Nona remembered again how her own family had been lost. She was still using magic to stave off the horror of that.

“Now our little girl is married, and she will go her way. All we—all we ask is that she visit us again, when she chooses. We want so much to—”

Nona came to an abrupt decision. “Let me tell you more about the Virtual Mode,” she said. “It is a way to cross over to other realities. Other worlds. Darius lives on one; I live on another. Seqiro, the horse, lives on another. Seqiro enables us to talk with each other, because I do not know your language.”

“The horse?” the woman asked blankly.

Hello.

The woman looked at Seqiro. He lifted his head to gaze back at her. He projected acceptance.

“The horse,” she said, realizing it was true.

Nona took her hand. “I will show you the Virtual Mode.” She led the woman through the anchor.

The scene changed. The new scene was similar, but the nearby houses and yards were subtly different.

“This is not our town,” the woman said, looking around.

“It is the adjacent world. Very similar, but different. There are others; the farther we go, the more different they become, until there is no similarity at all. Some have strange animals, or strange machines. Some are dangerous. Some have magic.”

“Magic!”

Nona decided not to confuse the woman with too much. “Some do. The rules change a little with each Mode. Darius has a special kind of magic. He lives in a nice world, and he wants Colene with him.”

“He does seem like a nice young man.”

“He is.” After last night, Nona realized how much of an understatement that was.

“He seems to be upright.”

“He is absolutely upright. Colene could not be with a better man.”

“I am so glad to know that Colene is in good hands.”

Nona led the woman back out through the anchor. The Earth Mode reappeared. “So you see, Colene is making a strange journey, but she is with friends. I think she will be happy with Darius. Certainly she is happy with Seqiro.”

“If we can only see her once in a while, to know she is all right.”

“She surely will visit you again. If she doesn’t, I will.”

Now the woman understood some of the significance of that promise. “Thank you so much, Nona.” Then, dazed, she returned to the house.

The car arrived. Darius and Colene walked to the tent, holding hands. He looked so tall, and she so small, but they were married now. Nona resolved to say and think nothing about what she had seen last night.

“Let’s go,” Colene said briskly. “I’ll say goodbye to my folks.”

Nona abolished the tent. She helped Darius put the harness back on Seqiro, and load their gear. Burgess floated through the anchor, disappearing.

Colene returned. “I promised your mother you would visit again,” Nona said.

“I will.” Colene’s eyes were wet. “I don’t think I ever really knew my folks, until now. They’ve been great.”

They moved on through. They were back traveling the Virtual Mode. It felt good.

TRAVELING this segment of the Virtual Mode was easy, because the paved street remained. Burgess had no trouble keeping the pace; this was ideal terrain for him.

They came into a region of animals. The streets and moving vehicles remained, but now the animals were dominant, with human beings serving them. “Watch out for these,” Colene warned. “They’re telepathic. Like Seqiro. But I don’t think they can reach across Modes. So if we get attacked, we just need to step on across. Quickly.”

Indeed, they saw dogs, cats, bears, and other creatures, of all sizes, moving around in their Modes as if they were the proprietors. They felt the touches of the animals’ minds. Once Nona received an order: Stop. Come to me. Unable to resist, she had stopped, turned, and walked toward the bear. Then she had crossed the boundary, and the bear disappeared, and she was freed from the compulsion.

So it was easy to escape, because of the narrowness of the slices of the worlds. But not pleasant business. Because the bear had viewed her as food.

I will help you resist, the next time, Seqiro’s thought came.

“Thank you. I don’t know how to fight it, when its power bypasses my magic.”

Darius has learned to resist. He has been practicing. He has stood off two creatures so far. Colene is making a similar effort. Perhaps you can learn to resist, too.

“I hope so,” Nona said. “I’ll try to fight the next one. Let me do it, and rescue me only if I am in too much trouble.”

“I’m practicing,” Colene said. “But I can’t resist as well as Darius can, now.”

“Burgess has no trouble,” Darius said. “These creatures can not touch his alien mind.”

“So if we are even in doubt, follow Burgess,” Nona said. The others agreed.

They crossed a boundary—and there was a row of oxen to the side. What comes into existence? an ox demanded.

Just passing through, Seqiro replied.

Nona felt a mind clamp down on her body. She saw Colene freeze just ahead of her. Even Seqiro halted. Several of the creatures were doing it, overwhelming the single horse.

Darius fought to move. He half fell beside Burgess. One hand struggled to a contact point. That was all he could do.

Burgess put his intrunk down to the ground. There were stones and sand there. He sucked them up. He aimed his outtrunk. A rock shot out and struck an ox on the head, between the horns. Then another rock flew, striking another. And a third.

Suddenly Nona’s mind was free. She leaped ahead, across the boundary. Colene was right with her.

In a moment all of them were across except Burgess. Then he too appeared.

There were too many telepaths, Seqiro explained. I could not prevail against several. But they were unable to address Burgess. When he shot stones at them, they concentrated on him, letting us go. But still they could not stop him, without touching his contact points.

“It is good to have you back with us,” Nona told the floater as she touched a contact point. He kept helping them in unexpected ways.

They found a Mode without telepathic animals, where a river crossed to the side, and made camp for the night. It was early evening, but they still needed to catch up from the prior night.

Nona and Colene went down to the river, careful to remain within the boundaries so that they would not accidentally cross over to the Modes on either side. There had been so many kinds of telepathic animals that it wasn’t worth the risk.

“I wonder whether there’s a Mode with telepathic humans,” Nona said musingly. “Obviously humans can do it, because you are learning.”

“I don’t want to see that Mode,” Colene said. “The animals are bad enough.”

“Except for the horses.”

“The horses are bad too, except for Seqiro. He had to leave his Mode, because he wanted to think for himself. They tried to pen him in. We don’t want to stop there.”

“There should be no need to, with Burgess well.”

“I hope so.” They stripped and waded into the water, which was cool but not unbearably so. Seqiro had checked it for minds, and reported nothing inimical or dangerous there.

They scrubbed each other off, then emerged, refreshed. They stood by the bank, letting themselves dry.

“About last night,” Colene said. “Thanks.”

“I don’t mind watching Burgess.”

“For not mentioning my shame.”

Nona could find no answer to that.

They returned to the camp, and the three males went down to wash, while Nona took small parts of their supplies and expanded them into a good-sized meal for all.

Originally she had been concerned that such expansion, on the Virtual Mode, would be ephemeral, but when she started with anchor material, it remained anchor material, and was all right.

There was the sound of splashing from the river. Burgess was shooting a steady stream of water at Seqiro, hosing him down. “That looks like fun,” Nona said wistfully.

“Then let’s go down and enjoy it,” Colene said. “We can take another bath if we want to.”

So they put off their clothes again and ran down to the river. Soon they were in the midst of a five-way splashing contest, screaming with the sheer fun of it.

When they emerged the second time, Nona knew one thing: she did not want to see this hive break up. She would not interfere with what Darius and Colene decided to do, but she hoped that their time on the Virtual Mode was not soon to end. Yes.

Yes, indeed. This was, taken as a whole, a good life. That was Burgess’ thought.

Nona started to make a separate tent for herself, but Colene stopped her. “We can sleep together, as before. If I ever manage to get my act together, I don’t care who sees it.”

“You know, Seqiro could enable you to—”

“But it wouldn’t be real. I have to do it myself. And I will. In time. Somehow. Like learning to resist the telepaths. Maybe if I can do one, I can do the other. I dreamed I could multiply joy, a little. Just enough to make me good enough to marry Darius, in his Mode. But that would be no good, if I couldn’t give myself to him. So I’ll keep trying.”

“It does seem like a good approach,” Nona agreed. Then she had a dazzling thought. “Maybe you can, indeed!”

“What do you mean?” Sheer excitement’s coming through.

“Colene, at first you couldn’t do telepathy, but now you are learning it, and getting better. Then you had a vision that I was in a wedding with Darius—and later it happened. Maybe you had precognition!”

Astonished, Colene considered the prospect. “I did see it coming, only I didn’t truly understand it. Like imperfect precog! And now I’ve dreamed I could learn joy. Could it happen?”

“You must try,” Nona said. “Because if you could learn joy—”

“I’m going to try!” Colene said. “I’m going to try everything! Maybe something’ll come true!”

“Surely something will,” Nona agreed.

So she slept again by Darius’ other side, with Burgess near, and Seqiro grazing outside. Nona had finally gotten smart about that, and grown him a patch of hay to chew on, so that he would not be diluting his substance with non-anchor Mode material.

In the morning, refreshed, they resumed travel. The paved streets became dirt roads, and then open countryside. Slopes developed. They had to help Burgess with the artificial paths again, but this was a practiced system now, and not much of an inconvenience.

“Uh-oh,” Colene said.

Nona hoped it wasn’t what she feared it was, but it was. The mind predator had found Colene again. The girl was under siege, and they knew it would not relent until they got off the Virtual Mode. What were they to do?

Colene, dazed by the siege, began to babble, as she had before. But this time it was worse. “I think I’ll never lose the need, to cut myself and see me bleed,” she declaimed, holding out her arm as if offering it for the knife.

She was going into suicide mode!

My Mode is close.

“But you aren’t welcome there,” Nona protested.

Colene must be saved.

Nona had to agree. She had brought them to her own Mode when Colene had been under siege before, though she would have preferred to avoid it. Then when Burgess had suffered his malady, Colene had brought them to her Mode, though she too would have preferred to avoid it. Now it was Seqiro’s turn.

Yet in each case, good things had come of those visits to their anchor Modes. Maybe that would happen again.

They put Colene on Burgess, again. Seqiro could have carried her far more readily, but he could not shield her from the mind predator as effectively as Burgess could. They moved as rapidly as they could toward the anchor, while Colene hallucinated and cried out with her internal horrors. Sometimes she seemed almost to make sense, but then would verge back into chaos.

“Nothing would make me happier than if some big piece of the cosmos just came through the ozone layer and just took me out. God, do I really want to live another year? The snow is everywhere, and life isn’t necessarily all that exists.

“When the happiness ends… there is life in death… and the happiness I feel is the essence of that joy…”

Nona looked at Darius. Was Colene remembering their wedding night? Or was she into some deeper misery?

“I see a time when things weren’t black or white or red and green but when they were always gray… I sit here and think about all the times that have been and all the lost causes, and I wonder if any of it was ever worth it, and these insights haunt my mind… as I try to think back to the good times, and the times when all things were good and there was no hate or frustration in the world but I can’t remember, when I can only remember now and now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of our enemies—they should pick up guns and kill innocent people to show the loyalty to the red, white, and blue and every blessed child shall wave a flag to let the world know their confusion and when they grow up their lives should end each time they pop a pill to forget the latest problem and soon the nation’s children will be grievers of Death and ruin and we shall live long and prosper and father children who have no mothers and they shall rock soulless babies to sleep and fate cuts the threads away and I shall find the magic that will take me away from all the pain and I will remain forever in a place not far from here and in this new existence I shall live…”

Nona hurt for her friend, unable to draw her out of her torment. They moved on as rapidly as they could, hoping they would reach the anchor in time.

“And the little boxes will clump together and gather into one giant big box, and I’ll be in it, and the lid will clamp down and I will suffocate and it will be my coffin forever and ever amen…”

We are approaching my Mode, Seqiro thought. But there is danger here, too.

“We must proceed carefully,” Darius said, though Nona saw him wince as he looked at Colene. He loved her, and wanted to get her away from her pain as soon as possible. But they all knew that they could not allow Colene’s pain to make them blunder into worse trouble.

As they came to it, they made a plan of approach. The anchor was in Seqiro’s old stall, which might be closed or otherwise occupied. It would be disaster to barge through and discover another horse there. They would bounce off the other animal, and have to retreat, but the horse would know that Seqiro was returning.

He could explore ahead, since he could cross Modes with his mind, unlike most of his kind; he had practiced it, in anticipation of his tour on the Virtual Mode. But the moment his mind touch encountered another horse, his presence and identity would be known, and that would be similar mischief.

So they would send another person across first. Nona agreed to do it, as she might be able to extricate herself from a trap with magic. She would cross, look, and cross back to make her report. Then they would know what they faced.

They came to a region of paths and stalls. This was one of the adjacent Modes, similar to Seqiro’s but not identical. There were other horses there, but they passed through as quickly and silently as they could, to arouse no commotion.

Then they were at the anchor. It was right at the entrance to a stall. The stall was empty, in this Mode, but that did not mean that the anchor stall was empty. Nona braced herself, and stepped through.

It was empty. In fact it was barred. Its door would not open. If Seqiro entered, he would be trapped.

She returned to report. “Maybe I can get that door open before you go through.”

The anchor is just outside the stall. I caught on to it with my head. I will need to enter the stall, then turn and go out beside the anchor. I was trapped before because of the closed gate. So that gate will have to be opened first.

Fortunately there were no horses near. This entire wing seemed to be empty. She could work on the gate without arousing any creatures.

“I do not trust this,” Darius said. “Is that wing normally empty?”

“No. It is a confinement section, with difficult horses placed there. That was why I was there. There are usually several scattered through it.”

“That suggests that they have something devious in mind,” Darius said. “They may be waiting for you to reappear, so as to trap you.” This seems likely.

“We shall need to interfere with that trap. Let me go through, to see whether my conjure magic works. If it does, we can escape readily enough.”

Darius went through, while Nona awaited nervously and Colene continued to groan sporadically. Nona knew that they could not afford to delay long; the mind predator seemed to be making faster progress against Colene this time, as if it had started where it left off before.

Darius returned. “My magic does not work,” he reported grimly.

“Maybe mine does,” Nona said. “Let me check.” She went through again, and tried to levitate. She could not. She tried to make fire, but could not. She tried everything, and nothing worked. Not even illusion. She felt naked.

She returned to deliver the bad news: she had no special powers in the Horse Mode.

“Then we must do it without magic,” Darius decided. “I will explore the region, to find any other horse there, and determine the nature of the trap. I think I can resist a single horse long enough to get back to the anchor.”

You can. You have done well, and the others will not be expecting resistance.

Nona hated to offer objections, but had to. “If Darius discovers the trap, and we avoid, it, will they follow where we go, and catch us anyway?”

“There is a wild region nearby, where horses seldom go. If I went there and shut down my mind, they would have difficulty locating me.”

“So we could go there and hide, until the mind predator lost interest again,” Nona said, satisfied. “Then we could return to the Virtual Mode and move quickly to your home Mode, Darius.”

“That seems feasible,” Darius agreed. He went through again, for a longer exploration.

This time he returned with a more complete report. “The entire wing is enclosed and locked,” he said. “Each stall, and a stout fence around the whole. So if you thought you were free because you got out of the stall, you would be deceived. There is a mare in the farthest stall, but she seems listless; she did not react to my presence at all, and there was no mind attack. I think they have made this a solid prison, but I can use a tool to pry open the gates. They may think you will return alone, so have no such resource.”

This seems likely. The mare—no reaction to you at all?

“None. She seems mindless.”

I fear she is. Now I appreciate the nature of the trap. They know I could not allow a mind-blasted mare to suffer.

“Mind-blasted?” Nona asked, not liking this.

When a horse goes truly wrong, it may be mentally destroyed. This can be done if two or more horses focus on it, breaking down its defense and destroying its mind. It can also happen when stallions fight. Such a creature is better off dead.

“That’s horrible!” Nona agreed. “But why is her presence a trap? If you can’t do anything about it?”

I would kill her, to end her suffering. Then the others would feel the death, and know that I had returned.

“Kill her! Is there no alternative?”

Sometimes a mind can be rebuilt. But there has to be a very specific template. Then the new mind honors that template, and the horse is in effect a new creature. The old mind can not be recovered, I could try that, but I have no template.

Nona remembered something. “Maresy!” she exclaimed. “Doesn’t Colene have an imaginary horse named that?”

She does. But such a horse never existed, so could not be remade,

“But it might be made new! Colene could give you all the particulars of her perfect horse!”

Darius shook his head. “Colene is under siege herself.”

“But she won’t be, the moment we pass through that anchor. I know she could do this, and would be glad to. We can save that mare, so she won’t have to be killed, and there will be no alarm.”

Darius considered. “This makes sense to me.”

It may be possible.

“Then let’s try it! Darius, you open that gate, then we’ll go through and tend to that mare, and then we’ll go out to the wild region to hide. With luck, the other horses will never know, until we are gone.”

They will realize when minions come to feed the mare, and she is gone.

“And then it will be difficult to return to the anchor,” Darius said. “But we face extreme alternatives, and this seems best. Colene is imaginative, and may be able to find a way back, when we are ready.”

“Should we leave our supplies here?” Nona asked. “Just in case there is trouble?”

“There could be trouble here.” Darius said. “A person of this Mode could pass by and steal our things.”

Nona appreciated the point. They would be safer keeping their supplies with them.

Then she thought of another problem. “The other horses will know Seqiro’s back the moment he uses his telepathy, even if no one actually sees us. So he should go mute, mentally.”

But I must use my power to help the mare.

“If you get identified, you will not have time to help the mare,” she said firmly. “You will have to wait until you are hidden in the wild country to tend to her. One of us can lead the mare there, silently.”

You could not do so. There must be a mental command.

“I could not. Darius could not. But Colene could. She has some telepathy, probably too little to alert the horses, but enough to reach the mare for simple commands.”

He nodded. You do remind me of her at times. You are thinking of the things she would think of.

“Thank you,” Nona said, trying not to blush at the compliment.

So Darius went through again, to fix the gate, and then the others, and they were through the anchor at last. Nona was relieved to see Colene relax, and then stir; her mind had not yet succumbed.

But she could not allow anyone to relax. There were essential things to be done. “Colene,” she said. “You must help us. We are in the Horse Mode—” She broke off, realizing that with Seqiro mentally mute, her words were not being translated. This was a complication she had overlooked.

The girl looked at her blankly, then at Seqiro. She said something indecipherable.

“Colene!” Nona said. “Use your own telepathy!” She pointed to her own head. “Think at me!”

“What’s wrong?” Colene asked, projecting her thought.

Nona focused her thoughts as well as she could, summarizing the situation. Horse Mode. Unfriendly horses. Mental silence. Need to hide. Mind-blasted mare.

In a moment Colene understood. “Thanks, Nona. I’ll take it from here. You stay with the boys.”