Chasing Bliss

Chapter Twelve

“You’re sure?” Jesse asked, his hand on the door to the station house. Despite the fact that Gemma had run, Cade still felt his partner’s will. Jesse had spent every minute of the last few hours looking for her. And he’d spent the last few hours with his heart in his throat. “Because I could come with you. I’m sure Nate can reschedule this meeting.”

“It’s his day off, man. He’s doing us a favor. Someone has to figure out just how deep the shit she’s in goes. And one of us needs to find Gemma.” They had called all over the county. They’d checked anywhere they thought she could hide. And come up with nothing.

Jesse pulled the door open and then closed it again. “Why did she run like that? And with him?”

He felt his whole body sag. Cade probably understood in a way Jesse couldn’t. Everything had become very real this morning. And it scared the shit out of Gemma. Jesse didn’t get it. He was ready for the whole relationship thing, but Gemma wasn’t. Not entirely. She might be ready to have sex and date, but they had both pushed her this morning. “She’s a very private person, I think. She was a little horrified everyone knew what she’d been doing. Especially her mom.”

Jesse sighed, a long, deep sound. “I didn’t think about it. I was too mad. And honestly I don’t understand why it’s a problem. Her mom obviously knows we’re making love. I wanted to stake a claim in a way she couldn’t dispute.”

Despite the severity of the subject, Cade felt his lips tug up. “I think Gemma can dispute anything you throw at her. She’s not exactly a shrinking violet. You underestimated her. Now, I need to find her so we…so you can talk to her.” He’d almost said “we.” He didn’t need that. He was so close to the edge. He didn’t need to start thinking that way.

Jesse’s eyes narrowed. “You were right the first time, Cade. We need to talk to her. So go find her.”

“And if she’s thinking about getting back together with her ex?” That was Cade’s greatest fear. Smooth Asshole Lawyer Dude would waltz back in, and Gemma would make a decision matrix based on what they could offer her. Lawyer Dude could offer her fancy cars, jewelry, and apartments in the city. Cade could offer her pussy-ass non-commitment and orgasms. The good news was, Asshole Lawyer didn’t give her orgasms. The bad news? Cade had a tiny fucking apartment that smelled like motor oil. He had to hope she really wanted the orgasms.

Jesse didn’t sound like he had the same anxieties. “She’s not getting back with him. She wouldn’t get back together with that asshole if he offered her the moon. She’s got way too much pride. We just have to hope we didn’t wound that pride too much this morning. When you find her, tell her I intend to hug the fool out of her before I spank her ass. And tell her I missed her. She was only gone for a few hours, but I missed her.”

The door closed behind Jesse, and Cade was left with a hole in the pit of his stomach. Jesse was in love with her. He hadn’t said the words, but there was no doubt in Cade’s mind. If Gemma returned his love, where did that leave a pussy who was terrified of commitment? Where did that leave a man who cared about them both but knew damn well he didn’t deserve either of them in his life?

His cell chirped, announcing he had a text.

Gemma’s here. Stella’s. Who’s the jerk?

Ty. Well, at least someone had found her. He typed back, his thumbs forming the words.

Ex. Keep an eye on her. Don’t let her leave. On my way.

Cade strode toward the diner, his mind a damn mess. Did he really want to confront her?

Gemma Wells was going to drive him completely and utterly mad. What the hell did she not get about the word “casual”? Casual meant things were to be kept on a superficial level, and Cade got to enjoy the sex without being too serious about any one woman. It meant he kept floating through life. No problems. No connections. No woman who forced her way into his thoughts.

So why couldn’t he think of anyone but her? Why did he just know deep down that no other woman would ever be as beautiful as Gemma Wells was when he slid inside her? He could still see her face as Jesse played with her ass. She’d viewed it as a challenge and she meant to win. She made his cock jump every time she crossed his mind. He was fucking hard all the time. There was that wonderful peace that happened for two minutes after he came inside her, and then the need built again. She was maddening, obnoxious, tart, and sweet at the same time.

And she was going to get her ass whipped.

He couldn’t sit there in the station house and listen to Nate and Cam talk about all the ways someone wanted to kill her. He would go slowly insane because he knew she was somewhere out there with a man who’d broken her heart once before. Jesse would just have to give him the rundown later. What he wanted to do was find Gemma, pull her over his lap, and smack her ass until she never thought about running out on him again.

He’d never spanked a woman in his life. That was Jesse’s thing. Cade’s thing was fucking them and then quietly sneaking out and leaving the tender care part to his partner.

His rage at her as she’d left this morning was only tempered by the deep sadness he’d felt at the same time. Gemma made him feel. He’d managed to waltz through life caring for only a few people, but that had started to change the minute they came to Bliss. What should have been a short mission of vengeance turned into something far more dangerous. He’d started to put down roots.

Everyone he loved with the exception of Jesse was dead, and it was his fault. He didn’t deserve roots.

“Cade!” a deep voice called out.

Cade waved as he crossed the street. James Glen had turned out to be one of those damn roots he couldn’t afford. James stood with his partners in the Circle G, Bo O’Malley and Trev McNamara.

He always thought it was so surreal to see the former pro football star hanging out around Bliss. He’d seen Trev on TV and in magazines. Now he wore a cowboy hat and dealt with cattle.

“Hey,” his partner said. Bo O’Malley was a big cowboy with a sunny smile and a happy disposition. “We heard rumors that you were looking for someone. We can help you out with that. Our girls found your girl.”

Trev tipped his Stetson toward the diner. “Beth and Hope are redecorating the ranch house, and they claim they can’t plan without Stella’s pie.”

James frowned. “There’s nothing wrong with the ranch house.”

Bo’s baby blues rolled. “Dude, that place hasn’t been updated since 1968. I don’t even know how that fridge is still working.”

“I like it,” James replied.

Trev ignored them. “Beth said they backed you up, but you better think twice before you make a girl look bad in front of her momma again. They’re already protective of her. Beth said she’s in. That means something here. Don’t piss those women off, Cade. They stick together.”

James went a little white. “I swear I think they write this shit down so no one ever forgets. I think that game night they’ve been having is really a plotting session on how to take us all down.”

Cade shivered a little at the thought. “Oh, you do not want Gemma joining in on that. She’s evil. I mean that in the sweetest way.”

Bo gave him a slap on the back. “So you better walk the straight and narrow, man, or we’re all in trouble.”

“I don’t see how we made her look bad in front of her momma. Her momma now knows how well we take care of her.”

All three other men groaned.

“Dude, she knows how well you doubly penetrate her daughter. It’s not the same. Women are weird about stuff like this. They don’t talk the way we do,” James explained.

Yeah, he didn’t understand that part. “I don’t understand that. We’re involved. Jesse and I have been dancing around her since she showed up in this town. We’re totally dating. I’ve cooked for her. I’ve made her lunch twice this week. Everyone knows where we were going with that. It’s not a big deal. But we haven’t. You know, the both of us. Not yet. She’s never done that. It takes time.”

What the hell was he doing standing around here gossiping about his damn sex life? It was right on the tip of his stupid tongue to tell them how happy he was that he and Jesse would be her first. And that she was an anal goddess. Most women shrunk away from it. Not his Gemma. She rose to the challenge. She’d fucked the fingers in her ass, begging for more. God, he wanted to fuck her ass. She really was a damn goddess.

“Preparation phase,” Trev said with a hazy grin. “I miss that.”

Bo laughed. “He’s gotten misty-eyed over everything since our wife got pregnant.” The two men slid each other a long, meaningful look. They shared a family. It was more than mere friendship. It wasn’t two buds sharing a six-pack and meaningless women as they partied their way across the US. They were building a life.

That was what Jesse wanted. He wanted a family. He wanted a home with Jesse and Cade and Gemma. Gemma would be the center of the whole fucking world. She was a woman he could trust with the title. But Cade wasn’t a man to be trusted. The thought of a kid depending on him made his stomach turn. And his heart flop a little. A baby who reminded him of his mom or dad. A baby with his name.

His family was gone. His sister dead. His foster mom dead.

But what if he could start over again? What if he could be better this time?

“I swear, you’re as hormonal as Beth,” James said, laughing.

Trev laughed with him. Cade had never met a man as comfortable in his own skin as Trev McNamara. The way Cade heard it, the man had gotten there the hard way, but the happiness Trev had now made Cade think it had probably been worth it.

“You just wait,” Trev said. “Wait until Hope gets pregnant and our kids run around like wild men all over the G. You’ll get sentimental, too.”

“Yeah,” James said, his voice a little emotional. “I likely will. I remember how good it was for me and my brother. It was our little kingdom. I’ve never known freedom the way I did when Noah and I were young. It would have been even better if we’d had more brothers and sisters.”

A home. A real home. A home where Gemma yelled at them when they did dumb shit and welcomed them into her arms at the end of the day. A home she would make the nicest in Bliss because Gemma didn’t do things halfway. If she loved a man, she would be fierce, and she would never fall out of it. She would love that man or men until the day she died if she let herself. And if she had children, she would protect them with everything she had.

Like his mom. And his sister. And his foster mom.

How many amazing women would he be blessed with only to watch them die? How many chances did the universe give?

“Cade?”

Bo’s voice startled him out of his thoughts. “Sorry.”

Bo smiled that sunny smile of his. “No problem. I was just asking if you could take a look at Beth’s car. It’s acting up again. Not that she drives it much.”

Beth liked to cycle. She’d been known to ride her bike from the G into town, her torso encased in a brilliant yellow reflective shirt. He and Jesse knew cars better than anyone in Bliss. It was their natural place. “Sure.”

James flashed a grin. “Come out on Sunday and bring Gemma with you. We’ll have a nice dinner. The girls seem to like the hell out of Gemma. We can try to convince the women we’re good boys.”

Yep, Gemma was getting him in trouble. “I’ll let Jesse know. And thanks for the tip. Ty’s watching her. I better go and collect her.”

The other men nodded and waved him on his way.

He took a deep breath. The idea of sitting around a dinner table with friends and their wives, as he and Jesse showed off their girl didn’t scare him the way it should. And that did scare him. He didn’t want to need her the way he did. She was starting to get her claws in and they went deep.

What the hell was he going to do? Stay or go? Fight or flight?

If it came to a fight, he would like to take out Lawyer Asshole. That might make him feel better.

The door to Stella’s opened and Hope Glen-Bennett nearly knocked him over.

He braced himself, his hands out to steady her. “Whoa, there.”

Her eyes were wide with panic. “I have to find Caleb. He’s not answering his cell phone, but he forgets it from time to time.”

Caleb? Caleb was the town doctor. If Hope needed Caleb, someone was in trouble. Fuck. Beth was pregnant. Trev and Bo had just talked about their child, their eyes misting at the thought of a future, and now she was in trouble. This was why a man should think twice before getting involved. It could all go wrong in the blink of an eye.

Hope pushed at him, turning toward the clinic. “I have to go. You need to get in there. It’s Gemma.”

Hope pushed past him and started sprinting.

Nausea swept across him as he looked at the door. Gemma? She hadn’t said Gemma. He’d heard her wrong. But what if he hadn’t? What if Gemma was in trouble and he was standing out here like a dumb asshole?

Adrenaline took over. He didn’t even feel himself move. One minute he was standing outside the diner, and then next he was in the middle of chaos.

There was a crowd in the middle of Stella’s, like the world had shifted and there was a gravity well that was situated right in front of the bar seats. At least ten people crowded around in a circle. It was like an arena, and he feared Gemma was the gladiator in the center.

“What’s she allergic to?” Ty’s voice rose above the crowd. Strong and loud, he was ordering people around in a way he wouldn’t do in anything but his professional life. Ty always sounded so strange when he was working. He lost the immature, devil-may-care lilt to his voice, and a cool competence took over.

Cade pushed through the crowd, elbowing the audience aside. Gawkers. He pressed forward, needing to see the truth. It wasn’t Gemma.

Ty was on his knees on the floor, his head down. Asshole Lawyer stood above him, his shirt still perfectly pressed as though he would walk into court any moment. He wore a frown, but other than that, Cade couldn’t tell the fucker was affected at all.

His eyes caught on the body on the floor under Ty’s hands. A mess of bloated flesh lay there right in the middle of Stella’s. Red, swollen skin. Wearing the clothes Gemma had tossed on right before she’d run from him. Cade felt like his feet were planted in concrete.

This isn’t happening. Dream. This is a dream. You’ll be in the river soon. You always end up there.

He needed to wake up in Gemma’s bed and realize this was all a nightmare.

Asshole Lawyer’s nasally voice cut through Cade’s brain. “Strawberries. She’s allergic to strawberries. Even a little could kill her. She used my fork. I didn’t see it until she’d already done it. Who uses someone else’s fork? Oh my god. Tell me you can save her. She looks so horrible.”

The fucker winced as he looked down at her, like she was a plague he didn’t want to catch. Cade’s whole soul wanted to be with her. Bad or good. He would go with her. He wanted to hold her, but he was afraid. She looked so fragile.

Ty’s hands were working, lifting her up. “Where’s her purse? If her allergy is this bad, she should have an EpiPen. I need it.”

“She left her purse behind,” Asshole said, averting his eyes. “She was kind of in a hurry.”

She’d left her purse behind because she was eager to get away from him.

Ty’s hands tightened around her. “Gemma? Gemma, stay with me. Someone get my kit. I might have to trach her.”

Tracheotomy. Ty might have to put a hole in her throat and shove a tube in it so she could breathe.

Ty looked up, his eyes lighting with hope when he saw Cade. “Cade? Cade, get down here and help me.”

He felt like time sped up again. He’d been locked into place, but this was happening and he couldn’t hesitate. Ty seemed to think it was okay, so he could touch her, let her know he was there. She needed him. He dropped to his knees and put his hands on her. No matter what she looked like, she was his Gemma. She was beautiful.

Gemma’s eyes, her beautiful blue eyes were little slits. Her whole face was swollen. She turned toward his, her hand coming out. Red blotches covered her perfect skin. Gemma gripped his hand.

It killed him to see her this way. She always seemed larger than life, like nothing could really touch her, like she was deep down stronger than the world around her. But he was reminded that she was just human. She was just a woman who needed someone to coddle and protect her.

“Baby, baby, stay with me.” He’d sent her off with this fucker who hadn’t taken care of her. He’d done this. He was going to lose her, too. He would hold her hand and she would slip away. She would join the others. Tears blurred his eyes. Stay with me. Stay with me.

“What the hell?” Stella’s voice rang out. Her boots sounded across the floor as she ran. “Oh, god. Is that Gemma? Hal!”

“Someone needs to get my fucking kit.” Ty held his keys out. “This is serious. If I can’t get her breathing in two minutes, she’s going to die. She needs some fucking epinephrine.”

Asshole Lawyer just stood there, looking around like he was waiting for a servant to show. Beth McNamara plucked the keys out of his hand and took off running.

Stella yelled back to the kitchen, but everything was an incomprehensible mess to his ears. Blood pounded through his system. His vision shifted down to just one thing. Gemma’s eyes. They were so small when they were always so big to him. Those eyes that watched him with mocking affection seemed to shrink, her flesh crowding them out. As he watched, they closed, the poison in her system shutting everything down.

He would go down with her. He would walk out and be done. The Rio Grande was minutes away. The river had always wanted him. It was where he belonged. When Gemma was gone, he would find her again there. It would be easy. The easiest thing he’d ever done.

Hal ran out, a small object in his hand. His knees hit the floor. “I have an EpiPen! We got it when Gemma started working here. We wanted to make sure she was safe.”

Ty took the small syringe and had it in her leg before Cade could take another breath.

The door to the diner opened, and Caleb Burke ran in, Hope following behind him. “What the hell’s going on? Where’s my patient?”

Gemma breathed, her chest moving in a shallow but sweet symphony of life.

Ty put his head down, his breath sawing in and out like he’d just run a marathon. He moved away, his back against a booth. “She’s allergic to strawberries. Hyper allergy by the looks of it. She’s had a dose of epinephrine. Her pulse was thready but steady now. She’s all yours, Doc.”

Caleb Burke started looking at his patient. Cade took a long breath, forcing himself not to cry. Never once, even when death had seemed imminent, had she let go of his hand. Cade held on to hers, gently though he wanted to squeeze tight. Anything to try to keep her here with him.

“Wow. She still looks horrible. When will that go away?” Asshole stared down at her.

And Cade lost it.