Chapter 26

"Why do you suppose you did that?" Susan asked.

"Should I lie back on this bench, Dr. Silverman?"

"Professional reflex, I suppose," Susan said. "On the other hand, my interest in you is not entirely professional."

"I've noticed that," I said.

"I love you and I want to know about you," she said.

"Anything in particular?" I said.

"Everything," she said. "And now that I have you rolling, it's hard not to keep pushing."

"I read someplace that wanting to know everything about a person is wanting to possess them."

"I believe that is probably true," Susan said.

"You want to possess me?" I said.

"Entirely," Susan said.

"Isn't that dangerous for my ego?" I said.

Susan smiled.

"If I may say so, your ego is entirely impregnable."

"Only child of a loving family," I said.

"Buttressed by accomplishment," Susan said.

"My father and my uncles were pretty impregnable too," I said.

"And to grow up," Susan said, "sooner or later, you had to separate from them."

"You think that's what I was doing?"

"When you went to the police?" Susan said. "Yes."

As one of the swan boats made its leisurely turn in front of us, a little boy was leaning out, trying to trail his hand in the water. His mother took hold of the back of his shirt and hauled him back in.

"Why then?" I said.

Susan waited. I thought about it.

"Because I had just done an adult thing," I said, answering my own question. "And I needed to what? Confirm it?"

"What happened when you had that trouble, with the men from the barroom?" Susan said.

"My father and my uncles came down and . . . fixed it," I said.

"And the bear?"

I nodded.

"My father came along and fixed it," I said.

"And the business on the river?"

"I fixed it," I said.

Susan nodded.

"And I had to fix it all the way," I said. "I couldn't let them fix the cover-up, so to speak."

"Correct," Susan said.

"It would have been a step back into childhood," I said.

"Yes," Susan said.

We were quiet. The light on Boylston Street turned green behind us and the traffic moved forward.

"You know a lot of stuff," I said.

"I do," Susan said. "Tell me how Jeannie was."

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