Chapter 26
"Why do you suppose you did that?" Susan asked.
"Should I lie back on this bench, Dr. Silverman?"
"Professional reflex, I suppose," Susan said. "On the other hand, my interest in you is not entirely professional."
"I've noticed that," I said.
"I love you and I want to know about you," she said.
"Anything in particular?" I said.
"Everything," she said. "And now that I have you rolling, it's hard not to keep pushing."
"I read someplace that wanting to know everything about a person is wanting to possess them."
"I believe that is probably true," Susan said.
"You want to possess me?" I said.
"Entirely," Susan said.
"Isn't that dangerous for my ego?" I said.
Susan smiled.
"If I may say so, your ego is entirely impregnable."
"Only child of a loving family," I said.
"Buttressed by accomplishment," Susan said.
"My father and my uncles were pretty impregnable too," I said.
"And to grow up," Susan said, "sooner or later, you had to separate from them."
"You think that's what I was doing?"
"When you went to the police?" Susan said. "Yes."
As one of the swan boats made its leisurely turn in front of us, a little boy was leaning out, trying to trail his hand in the water. His mother took hold of the back of his shirt and hauled him back in.
"Why then?" I said.
Susan waited. I thought about it.
"Because I had just done an adult thing," I said, answering my own question. "And I needed to what? Confirm it?"
"What happened when you had that trouble, with the men from the barroom?" Susan said.
"My father and my uncles came down and . . . fixed it," I said.
"And the bear?"
I nodded.
"My father came along and fixed it," I said.
"And the business on the river?"
"I fixed it," I said.
Susan nodded.
"And I had to fix it all the way," I said. "I couldn't let them fix the cover-up, so to speak."
"Correct," Susan said.
"It would have been a step back into childhood," I said.
"Yes," Susan said.
We were quiet. The light on Boylston Street turned green behind us and the traffic moved forward.
"You know a lot of stuff," I said.
"I do," Susan said. "Tell me how Jeannie was."