Coils

Chapter 2

Ticket? Ticket…?

Ticket.

Something clicked. Not audibly. Something somehow somewhere else.

Clicket. Click it. Ticklicket. Ti—

Spin. Advance and retreat. Pause. Pulse. Turn. Again. The big, shiny bowl of alphabet soup was jiggled before me. Facade. I dove through it to where the hand that held the strings of power moved. Of course. One will take me to another and that other to another still. Back. Winding and pulsing…

The marina into which we took the Hash Clash that afternoon had all the amenities, including hookups for onboard computer phones. A lot of vacationing executives liked to have such devices along on their boats.

I had lost every distressing symptom I had acquired earlier, though I was left with an overlay of almost pleasant fatigue and a lightheaded stupor of the sort I knew I could shake if I had to. No such need arose, however, and I was grateful for the anesthetization one’s body or mind sometimes cleverly provides. A huge steak could complete the spell more than adequately. But business first, I decided.

“I might as well order the tickets now,” I said, feeling a certain eagerness.

Cora smiled and nodded.

“Go ahead. I haven’t changed my mind.”

I went out and mated the simple plugs that connected us with the information networks of the mainland and the world. Then I returned to the other room, where I kept my unit.

There ought not to have been anything especially difficult or exotic about ordering the tickets. Essentially, it just amounted to my putting my personal information-processing equipment into contact with that of the airlines and the bank, along with my orders as to how many people were going where and when, and what class of service was desired. But—

It was after I’d taken care of the business. No reason then not to reach out and switch off the unit. But I didn’t. Instead, I stared at the display screen, feeling a pleasant sense of accomplishment now that the ticket…

Ticket…?

I drifted into a kind of reverie, I guess, first thinking about the ticket and what it meant, and then about the neat, smooth functioning of the machinery itself that made it all possible, and then…

It seemed that I heard Cora call to me once, but in a passive, general inquiring tone that hardly required a reply. I had a sort of waking dream then.

It was as if I were traveling along lines, bright and dark, moving at a vertiginous rate, as if I rode some crazy roller coaster—up, down, around and through—traveling back, back through some familiar territory, some landscape of the mind or spirit I might have visited in some previous incarnation, or yesterday in a moment of inattention. And there, there at the end of the line was a place where some of my life was stored away. Walls surrounded it, barring my entrance when I got there. I sought to pass them and silent alarms shook about me in my course…

“Don! Are you okay?”

I looked up and Cora was staring at me through the doorway. I managed a smile.

“I was thinking about home,” I said, shaking off the dust of dreams, knuckling my eyes and yawning.

“For a second I thought you’d fallen asleep, or—”

“—freaked out?” I finished. “No such luck. I know you have to be fed occasionally. Get ready and—”

I suddenly realized that she was wearing a dark blue wraparound skirt and a red halter.

“Give me five,” I said, “and we’ll go ashore and hunt proteins.”

She smiled. I shut off my terminal. Going home. It still felt good.

Ticketderick.

In Detroit we changed planes for Escanaba, Upper Peninsula, on the northern shore of Lake Michigan. The bright lens of the lake, along the shoreline at least, was sprinkled with the confetti of summer sailboats—an almost electrical sensation for me. Everything became feverishly familiar the farther we penetrated into my pastoral past made present. I kept pointing things out to Cora—landmarks, facts, histories sprang to mind and tongue almost unbidden.

We picked up our rental car almost immediately on landing, having brought no luggage other than shoulder bags. We drove on Highway 41 north out of the town along the shore. The sun struck the great glass of the lake a glancing blow and waves raced like fracture lines toward us. After a few miles, we turned inland on state road G38, heading toward Cornell. The dark green, shaggy horizon was comfortably near at hand. I sent my imagination on ahead, flowing through, peopling the terrain.

“I still think we ought to have phoned,” Cora said, not for the first time. “In five years people change, things change.”

Five years. Was that right? Was it that long since I’d been back? I’d given the number to her off the top of my head, not really stopping to measure things out. I hadn’t left Florida at all last year—1994—or the year before, so far as I could recall. Then, in ’92… I couldn’t quite recall what I had done in ’92.

“I’m nervous about meeting your family.”

A road sign put Baghdad fifteen miles beyond Cornell, and so did I.

I turned and smiled at her.

“You have nothing to worry about.”

“I hope not.”

“It’ll be all right”

How could it be any other way? The closer we got to Baghdad, the less concern I felt about the specifics of what we were going to find when we got there. The important thing was… I smiled… the important thing was Cora and me.

Cornell, small as it was, had evidently seen some changes in the past few years. Hardly anything about it struck me as familiar. But the road, and the tall trees closing it in on both sides—and the old railroad track, an occasional water tower, the placement of a faded billboard—felt crushingly familiar.

“That,” I said, “is new”—the first words spoken by either of us in several miles.

The first gas station that we encountered on the outskirts of Baghdad was a small, weathered Standard, not the large new-looking Angra Energy that I recalled so clearly. There was a new sign, too, at the city limits:

I drove on into town, slowing to the posted 30. There was only the one thoroughfare passing through town that qualified to be called a highway, and while in town it was the only way that really amounted to much of a street. The sideways leading off of it were unpaved, weed-lined, rutted and potted in places. Tin-roofed houses, some few with yards sporting vehicles pillared on concrete blocks, worn threshing and tilling gear, burned-out household appliances, collapsing sheds and partially dismembered felled trees, crouched as if to conceal worn shingles and flaking paint behind rough hedges, stands of hollyhocks and clusters of lilacs gone wild.

The real trouble was that this was not the main street that I remembered. But then, perhaps at the other end of town…

Only we reached the other end of town with sickening suddenness, passed a final building and were back in the country again.

Pop 442.

It couldn’t be that small. Surely, as a child, I’d had around me some semblance, if not of city life, then of life in a world where cities existed—not this utterly isolated backwater. I remembered… more than this. Where was the red brick school with the black iron fire escapes, the white church with the steeple, the theatre with the big marquee? Where was my parents’ home?

Cora, from the way that I was driving, peering at everything, surely knew that something was wrong. Or perhaps she supposed that whatever had been wrong all along was now taking a new turn.

I braked, pulled as near to the ditch beside the narrow shoulder as I could and made a U-turn. No problem. There was very little traffic, even now, in summer. Nothing in sight. Slowly, I drove back to what would have to be called the business district. There were four stores—count ’em—and all of them were, behind old and weathered facades, utterly unfamiliar to me.

Yes, a good idea, that. I parked the car—I could probably have left it in the middle of the street—and we got out and went in.

We seated ourselves at the counter, the only customers, and ordered iced tea. The day was warm. It probably didn’t look strange that I was sweating.

“Do you know a BelPatri family, living around here?” I asked the tired-looking waitress with blue fingernails.

“Who?”

I spelled it out.

“No.” She could have been the owner, one of the owners or a relative. She had an indefinable look of having lived here for many years. “There was a family named Bell, I think,” she added, “over in Perronville.”

“No.”

We sat there drinking our tea. I watched a frighteningly experienced fly work his way into a glass case to explore the coconut topping on a wedge of something yellow and dry-looking. I did not want to look at Cora. I answered her small talk with monosyllables.

After I paid we went out and got back in the car, to drive slowly south. I stared up each of the ways that passed as side streets. Nothing. Nothing at all was right There was nothing at all that looked as it should.

At the edge of town, I pulled into the Standard station and ordered gas. No recharge service here, I noted; few or no electric cars yet in the backwoods this far north, away from the Sunbelt and easy recharging. The new Angra station that I thought I remembered (I did remember!) had had a charger facility, though, hadn’t it?

With the station attendant I again went through my futile questions about a BelPatri family. I spelled the name. Cora listened, giving silent, patient support. He’d never heard the name.

When we were back in the car, before I started the engine again, she spoke:

“Do you remember what sort of street your house was on?”

“Sure,” I said. “The only trouble is, that memory is wrong.”

I was shaken by the discovery—yes. But not, I realized, shaken as badly as I ought to have been. On some deep level, perhaps, I had known all along that the home I remembered, and the childhood, were elaborate lies. It had been important to come here and face the fact, though, and very important to have Cora with me when I did it

I spelled it out a little more fully, as much I think for myself as for her:

“Sure, I remember a street, and a house. But they’re not in this town. None of the streets that I remember are here, and none of the houses, and none of the people. And of the people and things that are here, I don’t remember any. I’ve never been in Baghdad, Michigan, before.”

There was a long silence. Then, “There couldn’t possibly be two… ?” she said.

“Two towns with the same name, in Upper Michigan? Both just a few miles northwest of Escanaba, on the same road? The road I do remember, and what I remember fits. Right up to the edge of town. Then… It’s as if something else has been—grafted in.”

I did not know as I said it whether I meant that the graft was in geography or in my memory. Either way…

“And your parents, Don? If they’re not here…”

Their images were still as clear as ever. But impersonal, as if they had never been closer to me than film or page. Mom and Dad. Great folks. I didn’t want to think about my parents any longer.

“Are you all right?”

“No, but—” I realized that in some way I was at least better off now than I had been, back in Florida without a worry in the world. “Come back with me to Florida?”

Cora giggled a little, I suppose with partial relief at the fact that I was handling it so well.

“I don’t think—I really don’t think that I want to spend the rest of my summer vacation here.”

I pulled out onto the familiar road. Good-bye, Baghdad, thief of my youth. You could have been Samarkand, for all I knew.