Cold Hit

Chapter 35

It was almost four-thirty in the afternoon and the sun was just going down when I got back to Parker Center. This day had flown by. I stopped at our cubicle in Homicide Special and pulled the Arden Rolaine murder book out of Zack's bottom desk drawer. It was pushed to the back. As soon as I opened it I saw that Zack hadn't even mounted the crime scene photographs. They were still in an envelope, just thrown in along with the coroner's report, autopsy photos, and the rest of his case notes. The book was little more than a catch-all. Nothing was in order. No time line or wit lists. His interview notes were a mess.

I shook my head as I sorted through the grisly crime scene pictures showing the living room of a small cluttered house. It looked old and musty. The dark red velvet furniture had lace doilies on the arms. Sprawled on an Oriental carpet, on her back, wearing a blue terry bathrobe and rolled down stockings, was Arden Rolaine. Whoever killed her had done a damn thorough job. There was nothing left of her face. Her gray hair was matted and thick with dried blood.

I replaced the pictures in the folder. Then I noticed a Federal Express package on my desk. It was the book I'd ordered from Amazon. Com. My reading assignment from Agent Underwood. I picked it up and headed down the hall to CTB. I wanted to check in with Broadway and Perry. Their cubicle was empty, but Lieutenant Cubio found me and handed me one of the secure satellite phones. They were only a little smaller than an old Army field telephone.

"These came in from ESD an hour ago. Pretty easy to operate. You've gotta access the satellite. To do that, you use these six numbers first." He handed me a slip of paper. "Then dial the regular ten-digit phone number you want. There's an extra two-second delay because of the satellite scramblers."

He handed me another piece of paper with the SAT numbers for Tony, Emdee, Roger, Alexa, and himself. "You're good to go," he said.

"Where are Rowdy and Snitch?"

"Off minding the wool."

I raised my eyebrows.

"Women," he explained. "Broadway's wife Barbara is a Ph. D., teaches African studies at Mount Sac college. Emdee dates strippers. I think the current lamb is a lap dancer named Cinnamon or Ginger. . one of those spices. She works at the Runway Strip club out by LAX."

"If they call in, tell Roger and Emdee after I check in downstairs, I'm going home. I have a coach's meeting at five-thirty."

"A what?"

"My son is being recruited for football at UCLA. Karl Dorrell is coming over. I gotta bust ass or I'm gonna miss it."

"No shit? Karl Dorrell? Really?" I'd finally said something that impressed this hard-eyed, boot-tough Cuban.

I rode the Otis to three and found that the task force had slowed down since this morning. Half the troops were gone; the rest were talking softly into their phones.

Agent Underwood was in his office getting ready to go home. His ostrich briefcase was open, and I couldn't help but notice the oversized Glock with a big Freeze Motherfucker barrel.

"Well, look who's here. I thought you were too good for us. On a special assignment for the chief. Didn't have time for our cheesy little serial murder case."

"When you urinated on my criminal profile, I figured we weren't gonna make much of a team."

"What do you want?" he snapped, as he turned his back and continued to load things into the briefcase.

"There's an old murder case that's touching this Vaughn Rolaine Fingertip kill," I said. "Happened early last June. Vaughn's sister, Arden, was beaten to death. Completely different MO from the Fingertip murders so it's probably not the same doer. The victim was pounded into oblivion with a brass candlestick."

"Is that MO? I thought a rage-based act made it a signature. Of course, I keep getting this stuff all confused." Really getting pissy now.

"You're right. It's a signature."

I dropped the packet of crime scene pictures on his desk. He picked them up and thumbed through them.

"My partner had the case. He put it together when he heard Vaughn Rolaine's name."

"Your partner, the invisible Zack Farrell." Underwood smiled. "How is that guy? Since he works for me, I keep meaning to meet him."

"He's sick, Judd. He's in the Queen of Angels's psychiatric ward. He had a complete emotional breakdown yesterday."

Underwood stared at me for a long time. Then he nodded. "Sorry to hear it."

"Thanks." We stood in awkward silence. "Anyway, by the middle of June, Detective Farrell had Vaughn Rolaine down as the key suspect, but wasn't able to find him because he was homeless and moving around. I don't know how this all fits, but it needs to be looked at.

"That the murder book?" He pointed to the blue binder in my hand.

"Yeah, but it needs work. I'm taking it home to organize it. I'll drop it off here in the morning."

"Okay."

I held up the FedEx from Amazon and he frowned. "Motor City Monster," I told him.

"Since you're not on the task force anymore, you can forget reading it."

"I know we didn't hit it off, Judd, but you caught this Detroit killer. I never even got close to our Fingertip unsub. I'll have it read by Monday, because it's never too late to learn something. Good luck catching this guy." I turned and walked out of his office.

Driving home, I thought about Zack. He'd really perked up while sorting facts on Arden Rolaine's murder. Even though most of his ideas seemed farfetched, there were one or two that tracked. I liked the idea that the unsub might also be a homeless guy who got started by killing Vaughn Rolaine because he wanted the sister's money. That one murder could have kicked him off.

I got to our house in Venice at five-twenty-five. When I opened the door and walked in I saw Alexa, Chooch, and Delfina all sitting in chairs out in the backyard. I joined them on the patio and they turned to face me. Chooch looked angry.

"I made it before five-thirty," I defended. "Dowell isn't even here yet."

"The coach isn't coming," Chooch said.

"Whatta you mean? Why not?"

"The Athletic Department called," Alexa said. "Apparently, he's in a tug of war with Penn State over some blue-chip quarterback from Ohio. He's fighting Joe Paterno for him so he moved that meeting up and cancelled us."

I could see the devastation on Chooch's face. Delfina was holding his hand, trying to console him.

"Okay," I said. "Stuff happens. Don't let it sink your boat, bud."

"But Dad, he said he wanted me. If Joe Paterno also wants this guy from Ohio, that probably means Penn State's not going to want me. What if neither USC or UCLA offers a scholarship? Then I've got nothing." His voice was shaking.

"We should talk about this," I said. "Just you and me, okay?"

He nodded.

"Come on. Let's take a walk."

We went out the back gate onto the sidewalk that fronted the Grand Canal. Millions of spider-cracks crisscrossed the pavement under our feet; fissures in another man's dream. My son followed me in silence.

We made our way up onto the main arched bridge, climbing its subtle slope until we were at the top, looking down the long canal. Chooch stood next to me, his face awash in anger and frustration.

"When I was sixteen, I didn't believe in myself." My voice was thin, blowing away from us in the weakening Santa. Ana winds. "I wasn't a true believer. Didn't think I counted. I was an orphan who nobody wanted, and that fact was proven to me over and over because five different sets of foster parents all gave me back. So instead of working to improve myself, or understand why it was happening, I tried to tear down everybody around me. I had a code back then. 'Do what I say or pay the price.' But even when people did what I wanted, I didn't enjoy it, because I knew they did it out of fear and not respect."

"Dad-"

"No. Listen to me, son, because I don't talk about this stuff often. Showing weakness to people I love is hard for me."

He fell quiet, so I continued. "Growing up, I knew if people thought I was weak, they'd take advantage of me. Underneath my bully's bluster was a frightened kid who didn't believe. I kept trying to impress people with threats. But I could see in their eyes that they weren't impressed. They were simply tolerating me, and that just made me angrier."

I turned to face him. "Chooch, if there's one thing I can try to give you, it's this: You don't have to impress anyone to be important. Around us you can be yourself. You can have big dreams, and all of us will help you live them."

"I do," he said, softly. "Playing football is a dream."

"I'm worried that football isn't as much of a dream as it is a device-a way for you to elevate yourself or prove yourself to others. For some reason, it looks like Coach Dowell may choose this other guy over you.

Coach Carroll likes you, but hasn't offered you a scholarship yet, and he might not. Same with Penn State. So right now you don't feel so important anymore. But try and think of it this way. You're the sum of all your experience and your experiences have helped forge who you are. If you were valuable yesterday, then regardless of what anybody else thinks, you're valuable today. It doesn't matter what Coach Dowell or Coach Carroll do. It doesn't change who and what you are, unless you let it. Everybody suffers defeats, son. You'll come to realize some day, that it's your defeats that define your victories. The way to true happiness in life is to love what you're doing, not how well other people say you're doing it. It's an important distinction."

Chooch stood looking down stoically at the wind ruffled water on the Grand Canal.

"Even if you don't get an athletic scholarship to any university, and you go to one of these schools as a walk on, if you really love the game, love the process; you will succeed. Maybe not in exactly the way you once thought, but success will come."

My son was looking at me now, his face a strange mixture of emotions.

"But you won't ever be happy if you let other people grade your paper, Chooch. It has to come from inside you. You've got to be a believer before anyone else can believe.

"And you think that I play ball just so other people will think I'm a big deal?"

"Nothing in life is all one thing or all the other. In failure, there can also be accomplishment. In jealousy, there is usually envy and respect. The trick is to get the balance right. I think some things got out of balance for you this year."

He stood beside me, his eyes again fixed on the water, pondering my words.

"In whatever you choose to do, I want you to compete, and hopefully you will succeed. But most of all, I want you to love the process, because that's where happiness lies."

"So it's not important that Coach Dowell cancelled his visit?"

"Not in the long run."

"What if he doesn't reschedule? And what if I don't hear back from USC either?"

"We can only play our game. We can't play anybody else's. You are a lot of things, Chooch. You are a combination of cultures and emotions. Your genes come from me, and your mother, Sandy. Alexa and I try to be good role models and show you how to behave through actions, not just words. But you get to choose what, and who, you want to be. You get to decide how you want to behave."

"I should calm down?" he said softly.

"Yep. And you gotta believe." I put my arm around him. "If it's meant to be, it's gonna happen."